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The Case Will Remain...Unsolved

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“I think that we should start a true crime show on Youtube.” Logan’s face remained impassive as Virgil told him about the crazy idea that his sleep-addled brain had come up with at three in the morning while watching yet another video about how bigfoot may have caused the war of 1812. Virgil had already figured out everything they may need to create his dream channel. He had made the channel page and had sketched out a banner head during his all-nighter. Plus, he finally found a channel name, Sanders Unsolved, and it may have just been the sleep deprivation, but he liked it. There was no way that Logan could refuse. Yes, Logan was a bit cold in his demeanor and didn’t usually do anything that wouldn’t give him any benefit, but there is no way that he would refuse. 

“No.”

“Oh come on! Why not? I think that it would be a great opportunity.” Logan looks completely unimpressed with his whining. He didn’t even look up from the book that he was reading to give his refusal. Virgil continued anyway, “could you please at least consider it?”

“No.” Logan didn’t look like he was going to budge on his stance anytime soon. Virgil really didn’t see why Logan didn’t outright agree, but Virgil saved the best part of his argument for last. Something that Logan wouldn’t be able to refuse. 

“It could help you pay off your student debts.” That got Logan’s attention. He moved his eyes away from the page and looked straight into Virgil’s own. Logan was seemingly indifferent, but if Virgil had learned anything after living with the other for the past year and a half, the mere fact that he made eye contact showed that he was interested in what Virgil had to say. 

The room went silent, leaving Virgil to stew in anxiety as Logan contemplated Virgil’s proposition. Finally, Logan sighed. Giving in to the sirens call that was possibly paying off his student debts. “Let me think about it.” With that, he walked out of their shared living room, leaving Virgil alone to wait for Logan’s answer.

And wait he did. Logan didn't come back to him for the rest of the night. It took until the next morning to get his answer. Virgil walked into their kitchen to find Logan in his usual chair, drinking a coffee and reading the newspaper as he did every morning. Virgil approached the room with caution, on one hand, he needed his morning coffee, but on the other, he was in no way ready to hear Logan’s answer. Virgil’s slow approach did not go unnoticed by his roommate, so before Virgil could get even close to their coffee machine Logan turned and looked Virgil straight in the eyes. “I’ve thought about your proposition from last night.” 

He talks in his usual emotionless way, face blank, not giving away his answer. Virgil fidgeted with his hands. Logan’s vacant stare was nothing new for Virgil, it was probably his natural state, and yet, every time it was leveled at him, it made him feel as if he was a young kid about to be scolded by their parents. 

“Oh? And what have you decided?” Truth be told, Virgil was scared of Logan’s answer. He actually did want to create this channel, however, he knew that he could never do it alone. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to talk to a camera for long enough to make an episode, but he could work off of someone, ergo, he asked Logan to join him. 

Logan was a perfect choice. He knows how to edit video, something that Virgil didn’t know how to do. Logan was also strangely knowledgeable about, well, everything. He was a trivia wiz and at any given time could recite an extensive history about any building that they visit. He would have to know something about true crime, and if he didn’t, he would definitely be good at writing research papers. Apparently he was debate wiz back in high school, so he should be good at writing papers. Right?

Logan let out a sigh and pulled a paper out of his bag before handing it to Virgil. “Is this...a contract?” It was definitely printed on legal paper, and Virgil wondered where Logan even printed it, as far as he knew Logan didn’t have a printer in his room and he didn’t leave his room at all last night. 

Logan nodded, indicating toward the piece of paper Virgil was holding. “It’s legally binding as well, it will give me concrete proof that you agreed to my terms if we were to ever have any kind of dispute over money.” 

Virgil stared at the piece of paper in his hand. Was Logan serious? He looked up at Logan, trying to find any sort of a joke in Logan’s posture. There was none. Who was he kidding? Of course Logan wouldn’t be joking. Virgil sighed and nodded as a way to indicate to Logan that he would sign the contract. Logan held out a pen, and Virgil took it, signing their channel into existence on a cheap Ikea table in their shared apartment. 

At least Virgil finally got his channel off the ground. With Logan’s support they would at least make a few videos, and hopefully more after that. Now all Virgil had to do was write up a script for their first episode, but what case to do? They could start with something more recognizable in order to drum up more attention for the video, or they could do something more unknown in order to keep from getting buried in suggestions. 

After hours and hours of deliberation, Virgil finally decided that the benefits of doing a known case outweighed the risks. He pulled out his computer and started doing research on the Zodiac Killer. 

At long last, his magnum opus was finally completed. Five pages full of notes about arguably one of the most famous serial killers of all time. After rereading and rewriting and rereading again, he decided that it would give him no more insight on the script no matter how many times he read it again. Virgil’s eyes hurt. Looking at a bright computer screen in the middle of a dark room was not the best choice, but that was the choice Virgil made, and that is the choice Virgil will stick by. 

Virgil pulled himself off of his floor, unwillingly looking at himself in the mirror in the process. The bags under his eyes were large and dark, his hair messy and shoulders slouched. Maybe he should take a break from writing and take a nap. He gives a lingering look back at his computer, where his video script is still pulled up. He should probably get the script to Logan to proofread, he would be able to find more mistakes that Virgil ever could. He’s a computer in his own right. 

So Virgil made up his mind. He would walk over to Logan’s room, hand over the script and then take a nap. He made the trek across the hallway to Logan’s room, fully aware that he would not be happy with Virgil interrupting whatever he may be doing so that Logan could proofread a glorified research paper on the Zodiac Killer. Oh well. He really wants a nap. 

Virgil gives three knocks on Logan’s door, hoping that he wasn’t taking Logan away from something too important. It’s too late now, he could hear Logan shuffling inside, making his way to the door. 

“Hello Virgil, what do you need?” Logan’s hair was as perfectly quaffed as normal, contrasting heavily with the mess that was Virgil’s entire being. Logan was staring up at Virgil, still significantly shorter than Virgil even with Virgil’s slouch. 

“Would you be willing to proofread this for me? It’s the script for the first episode.” Logan took the computer out of his hands and closed his door in Virgil’s face. Virgil stood in the empty hallway, staring at Logan’s door for a few minutes before giving up and going back to his room for a nap. He didn’t even bother changing his clothes before he laid down in his bed and let himself fall into a dreamless sleep. 

...Or he would have, if not for the fact that not two minutes after Virgil laid down, Logan’s signature sharp knock sounded from outside his door. Virgil groaned and got out of his nice warm bed to meet Logan. 

“What?” Virgil didn’t even try to keep the annoyance out of his voice. He knew that Logan would take no offense to his tone of voice. 

“I have a few problems with your script.” Logan didn’t look up at him, his eyes still glued to Virgil’s laptop, his custom made computer case obstructed by Logan’s hand. 

“Yeah? Like what?” Logan looked up at Virgil and gave a sort of incredulous look that didn’t sit well on his usually expressionless face. It was somewhat jarring to be honest. 

Logan turned the laptop around to face Virgil, presenting a fully annotated version of Virgil’s previously unmarked document. “First and foremost, I don’t believe that some of this information is correct, he attacked seven people, not eight, only five of which actually died. Also, I don’t believe that you should have so many suspects, it will confuse your watchers with too much information being presented to them in a relatively short amount of time.”

Logan went on and on, pointing out every single fault with his script. Logan finally stopped to take a breath and Virgil was relieved that he finally seemed to be done. Then Logan said something that truly startled Virgil. “If anything, I should just write the scripts from this point forward. With all the rewriting I had to do, it’s basically my script anyway.”

Virgil sighs, he should have expected this when he first handed over the script. There was no way that Logan would set aside his perfectionism in order to spare Virgil’s feelings. He doesn’t even why he considered it honestly, Logan’s not quite the nurturing type. “That’s probably for the best, you’re much better at research than I am.” Logan agrees, he doesn’t say anything aloud, but his face says enough. And just like that, as suddenly as he entered, he left once again, without so much as a goodbye. 

So life for Virgil continued like normal. He would get up and take his daily walk down to the coffee shop to satisfy his caffeine addiction, then come back to his apartment just to listen to Logan’s rant about saving money by using their at-home coffee maker just as he does every day. Then he would go to his classes and take in-depth notes that his classmates will no doubt want to borrow later. Before heading back to his apartment that he shares with Logan just to sit in his room and watch true crime videos and completely ignore his roommate before they repeat everything all over again. 

However, one day when returning to his apartment he found something odd waiting for him, and he literally means waiting for him. When he opened his door three days after his and Logan’s talk, he didn’t expect Logan to be sitting on the couch when he walked into their apartment. It was quite odd, to say the least. Logan never stayed in their common areas for long, usually preferring to stay in his room and work on the honestly absurd amount of classwork that he gets from all the classes that he was currently taking. Seriously, why would someone take multiple classes outside the one that was required to graduate?

Yet, here Logan was, sitting on their shared couch, coffee in hand and computer in his lap. He didn’t seem to realize that Virgil was there, and Virgil didn’t want Logan to see him. Logan waiting around for you was never a good sign. Virgil didn’t think that he owed Logan any money, at least, he can’t remember Logan giving him any loans in the past few days. “Are you done?” Oh god, Logan saw him, and now Virgil was very close to having a nervous breakdown. He couldn’t think of anything that Logan may need him for and it was making him incredibly anxious. 

“Virgil, you really need to stop getting into your head like that.” That snapped Virgil back into reality. Logan’s blunt words cutting through Virgil’s swirling thoughts like a knife. “I was thinking that you should film this video soon as I have all my work for the next few weeks already finished so I would have time to edit the video.” 

Of course it had to do with the video. Virgil was freaking out over nothing. “Oh, I think that we could even start now if you have the script written. But only if you want to though, I wouldn’t want to overwhelm or rush you...I know that such short notice can be a little off-putting.”

Logan shook his head dismissively. Sometimes Virgil forgets that Logan doesn’t feel the same anxiety over things like this that he does. “That would probably be best, I can set up a camera relatively quickly, you may want to calm yourself down before we film though.”

Logan wasn’t lying when he said quickly either, not five minutes later he had a camera set up and both Virgil and Logan were sitting on the couch, script on their coffee table in front of them, getting ready to start the first-ever video for Sanders Unsolved. “You can do the count off if you want. I would let you feel in control of the situation, and it may help soothe your anxiety.”

Virgil nodded, hair falling into his eyes a bit when he did. The purple strands blocked out the camera for the most part, which gave him enough confidence to at least start the countdown to the episode. 

3…

2…

1…

Action-


Hello and welcome to the first-ever episode of Sanders Unsolved, a show where we take a look into true crime cases where the perpetrator was never caught. My name is Virgil and this is my co-host Logan, and today we are looking into the unsolved mystery of the Zodiac Killer, a serial killer that terrorized California in the 1960s. Take it away Logan...

 

The Notorious Murders of the Zodiac Killer 

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Comments (5)

 

tired_and_stupid

This is a really cool spin on the typical true crime video format. You’ve got your first subscriber! Can’t wait for the next video!

 

Ana Pinkerman

the fckin [weeze] got me ngl 

 

TwinkleToesBitch

cant wait until yall get big and i can say that im an og. keep it up guys 

 

abundantmustard

Logan looking dead inside after every single thing that Virgil says is a whole ass mood


 

It was crazy for Virgil to think that his passion project that his sleep-deprived brain had come up with two weeks ago had become such a big hit. Well, not quite a hit, but much bigger than either he or Logan ever could have guessed. He read the comments on their video for the fifth time that night. When Logan had cryptically told him to check the channel page this morning he was not expecting to find that people had actually subscribed. 

And to think that the night before Virgil hadn’t been able to sleep because of his anxiety over the video. Right after they had finished filming Logan had immediately taken the video camera back to his room and hadn’t even allowed him to see the uncut footage before it was whisked away from the room. 

Last night he had stewed in his anxiety over the video. Was his hair too wild? He hadn't had it cut in a while, the purple dye was undoubtedly faded to the point of looking bad and the undercut had grown out to the point that it barely counted as one. Or what if people were thrown off by the bags under his eyes? Having people turned off by something as trivial as his eye bags scared him. There was a lot that could turn off an audience, especially on the internet. That was the root of everything, wasn’t it? He didn’t want people to hate his video, or even worse hate him. 

He didn’t know how, but Logan had somehow known that he had been anxious about, well pretty much everything about the video. He had structured the video in a way that they were very rarely shown on screen, instead deciding that they would mostly use their video as a voiceover laid over a timeline that showed information about the case. Logan was surprisingly understanding about Virgil’s situation, in his own, unique way. 

It was a mind-boggling thing to Virgil, for people to actually enjoy his video. It wasn't the biggest following ever or even that big, but it was a jumping-off point, somewhere to start. When Logan walked into their shared kitchen that night, Virgil was already sitting there, the case for the next video already chosen. When Virgil tells Logan of his plan he gives his characteristic sigh and pulls out his laptop, already writing the script for the next episode. 

This was going to be fun. 

Chapter Text

When his alarm goes off way too early the next morning Virgil was in mood get out of bed, much less go to class, however, he pays way too much money to his shitty-ass college to skip classes so he drags himself out of his cocoon of blankets and into the cold unforgiving joke that was his day to day life. He pulls on a hoodie and some jeans before leaving his room to grab his bag and hopefully leave early enough to make his daily stop at the nearby coffee shop. Thankfully Logan had already left, he had an early class on Wednesdays (one that wasn’t needed for his major) and had most likely left a few hours prior to Virgil even waking up. 

His walk to the coffee shop was peaceful. Their college was located in a small town, there were things to do outside of college offered programs, but it wasn’t overrun with people. His favorite spot was just a few blocks away and was about halfway between his apartment and campus. He visits the shop every day, at the expense of his wallet, to pick up a coffee then walk to his class. Then depending on his mood, he might stop in again after his classes were over to satisfy his borderline addiction.

To anyone else, it may seem like a hassle to have to walk to classes every day, but for Virgil, off-campus living was a godsend. He didn’t really do anything to get the apartment, seeing as long as Virgil paid his half of the rent every month, Logan would gladly take the helm and talk with the landlord about anything finance related. He remembers when he had to live in the dorms, a long time ago, way back in the horrible time that was last year. It was his first year and he had been anxious about going away for the first time and having to meet new people on his own far from his support system back home.

That was the first time that he met Logan, they were paired in a dorm room together as their college pairs people up based on last names, and they both have the last name Sanders. He had walked into their small shared dorm room with his bags in hand only to find his roommate already there and probably unpacked, Virgil wasn’t really sure, he didn’t have any bags with him, but the room was still incredibly sparse, the only indication of the other person even bringing anything was a well-worn book laying on one of the desks. The first week was incredibly awkward between them, Virgil was still battling with himself over having to adjust to a new space with a whole bunch of new people and Logan didn’t seem to have any kind of motivation to make friends with him either. He would go to classes then stay out the entire day, at the library he would later learn, then come back in the dead of night while Virgil was just lying down to go to sleep. But over time the ice between them thawed, and they made friends eventually. By the end of the year, they had already decided that instead of returning to the dorms the next year they would be willing to share a nearby apartment that Logan had found.

That brings them to where they are, comfortably renting in a two-bedroom apartment a few blocks from their college campus. The landlord was nice and gave them a small discount once they learned they were college students, not too much, about $50 less a month, but it was enough that they could both easily afford it. He mused on the overall absurdity of his situation as he walked into the shop.

The inside of the coffee shop was small but cozy. There was very little space for patrons to sit, however, only two or three booths in the entire shop. Virgil quickly walked to the counter, greeting the same barista that was always here when he visited, she must work the morning shift. Her customer service smile was just as fake as it always was, but nonetheless she mixed up his drink and sent him on his way.

He made his way to campus in record time. He sat down before most of the class had even shown up. There were a few people milling around, but for the most part, the room was empty. It wasn’t like there were many people in the class, it was an art class after all, but only about half the class was there. It was quiet as well, which was nice for Virgil as he was able to focus on pulling out the art piece that he had been working on for the past few classes. It was almost finished, which was good because the due date was steadily approaching. He had just about finished setting up his area when a figure cast a shadow over his bent form.

He looked up, expecting his professor to chew him out for something, even though on their first day of classes he expressly gave them permission to start before the class began. Instead of the short stubby man that he expected, he saw the muscular body of Roman. His brown hair was swept to the side in an obviously intentional way, proudly showing off his eyeliner.

Roman Sanders (no relation) was a cosmetology student who is taking the class as one of his electives. This was the only class they shared, as Virgil’s major in graphic design didn’t really overlap with cosmetology at all. They had become friends the same way that Virgil had made all of his college friends (or just Logan), they had been paired together on the first day of class for a quick assignment as they shared a last name, and they had eventually hit it off. It was a bit rocky at first, just like his relationship with Logan, however, they had eventually warmed up. 
“So, how are you doing Dr. Gloom? How’s the art coming along?” Roman asked, pulling his own piece out. Virgil gives his usual answer, a quick grunt and shoulder shrug before returning back to his art. They let the silence between them simmer for the rest of the class. Roman doesn’t really like having to be quiet, but he can admit that they both do their best when they don’t distract each other with chatter.

Eventually, the class is over, and with a few parting words from the professor Roman and Virgil leave and make their way over to a nearby diner. Every Friday after school they take some time to go out for a cheap lunch after class, and today was no different. They took a few minutes to pass pleasantries that they had skipped over earlier and passed through a few different conversations before the cat finally leaped out of the bag.

“I started a Youtube channel with Logan...” before he even finished his sentence he could see Roman’s eyes light up. He forgot that Roman was just as into Youtube as him at his worst during the dead of the night. Of course he would be interested in something like this.

“What is it about? Wait, no, why did you choose Logan as your partner? Wait again, how long has it been? Actually, just tell me the channel name, I should be able to figure the rest out later.” Roman’s questions come out rapid-fire, so fast that Virgil can’t keep up. He moved on before he could even give him the answer.

“Um, the channel is called Sanders Unsolved. You know, because both Logan and my last name is Sanders, and well, it's about unsolved mysteries, so like, yeah.” Roman nodded along typing at lightning speed into his phone. 
After a few moments of silence, only broken by the clicks of Roman’s phone keys and the two other diners a few booths down, Roman finally put his phone down and started his questions again, only this time it was at a pace that was much easier to keep up with. “So why Logan, with his course load there is no way that he can do much filming. I mean I rarely say this but that guy impresses me. I would not be able to keep up with his workload, much less stay so far ahead.”

Roman’s analysis of Logan was true. Logan’s whole college philosophy was to take as many classes as possible and maybe one day something will pay off. Along with the required classes for his aerospace degree, he also took a finance class as well as a few law classes as well. It didn’t really make sense to Virgil to take such demanding classes on top of his already demanding major, but to each their own. But that wasn’t it, he also held down a job at the library. “I’m not honestly sure how Logan does anything, but he’s already taken up the helm on writing the scripts and I really need someone to be on camera with me or else my anxiety would get the best of me. Logan’s just a calming person.”

“Logan? A calming person? Are we talking about the same person Hot Topic? Because the Logan I know once almost took off my head when I dared to imply that the new Sherlock TV show was better than the books.” Roman’s quick change of subject shouldn’t surprise him after being friends for so long, and yet it gives him whiplash every time. Roman had a very short attention span, so he was always ready to jump from one subject to another, usually leaving Virgil behind in the dust. Luckily the conversation never steered back to his channel, and eventually, they were parting ways. Roman back to his dorm and Virgil to his apartment hoping to find Logan and figure out when they can start the filming for the next video.

The walk to the apartment was short, and before he knew it he was back at the apartment frantically searching his bag for his keys. He knew that he had them, he checked at least three times this morning, but for some reason, he couldn’t find them in the black hole that was his bag.

When he finally did find the keys it was all for naught, as right when he was about to put the key into the keyhole, he heard the lock mechanisms turning on their own, only for Logan to appear a few seconds later, characteristic mug in hand. “I would check the channel page, the video is doing well. On that note, I would like to know when you plan to film the next video as I would need to add it to my schedule.”

“I, uh, actually don’t have anything planned out, but I guess I can find something and give it to you tonight.” Logan nodded, though his face still showed obvious disapproval of Virgil’s lack of planning. Virgil was quick to retreat to his room and pull out his laptop.

First and foremost he should check the channel page, Logan would rarely describe something as ‘doing well’ if it wasn’t actually doing well. It was a little strange that Logan even knew about how well the video was doing, Virgil never gave him the channel information, after all, he hadn’t been the one to actually upload the video, and yet, Logan still got the information somehow. Sometimes he scared Virgil, to be honest, if anyone that Virgil knew could possibly kill God it would be Logan. As he pulled up the webpage he heard the telltale noise of a text notification come from his phone. When he checked his notifications, he saw that he got a text from Roman. 

omg i just watched the video its really good

haha thanks princey

are you taking suggestions for the next video

idk? depends on what it is

i think that you should do your next video on gloria ramirez. you can probably get a lot of good content out if that

i'll think about it, thank you for watching the video by the way 

np sounded interesting. definitely wasnt a waste of my time. you and calculator watch have a surprisingly good dynamic

After Roman said his goodbyes, Virgil immediately raced over to Logan’s room, (at a reasonable speed, of course, he would never hear the end of it from Logan if he fell over or banged something in the hallway). “Logan! Logan! I have an idea for the next video! Logan!”

He found Logan in their sitting room, in the same exact spot that he had been sitting when he had left half an hour ago. “What do you want?” Logan kept his usual emotionless facade, still typing away on his computer even though he was looking up at Virgil. “You know that I have an essay due in a week and a half for my law class, I really cannot afford to be distracted for no reason right now.”

“I finally figured out what case we should do next!” Logan sighed and closed his laptop, giving Virgil his full attention. “I think that we should do Gloria Rameriez.” Virgil’s hands fiddled anxiously at his sides while Logan silently racked his brain for information about the case. 
Logan nodded apparently finding Virgil’s choice adequate and opened his laptop in a move that said incredibly unsubtly that the conversation was over. Virgil walked back to his room, knowing that Logan has already started a script that will undoubtedly be done for tomorrow. As he walked into his room allowing himself to be comforted by his familiar posters and dark bed sheets strewn around the walls and floor. His eyes wandered to his desk, and the open computer that still sat on top of it. If he was going to have to wait on Logan to finish the script, he might as well get a little background information on the case.

He did a quick google search and came across a rabbit hole that he was quick to dive into. Possessions, hospital workers accidentally giving her meth, it seems like anything that could have possibly happened to the poor lady someone had theorized about it online. His personal favorite theory was that she was abducted by aliens. Everything that happened to Gloria, just, lined up with what he expects to come from an alien abduction. He’ll need to make sure that Logan includes it in the script.

Even though Virgil thought that the alien theory was probable, Logan obviously did not, for as when he presented Virgil the script the next morning, there was no mention of aliens anywhere in the multiple pages that Logan had written up. “Where- where are the aliens? I looked up some theories last night and like, she was 100% abducted by aliens.”

Logan let out a sigh, taking the script pages back from Virgil. “Aliens didn’t abduct a cancer patient” He began to turn away, assuming that Virgil would just give up on the alien theory. Well, if that was what he thought, then he was very very wrong. Virgil will not give up until it is in the episode.

“Okay, I see what you’re saying, but consider, they totally did,” Logan was still turned away, so Virgil could only see the back of his head, but he could still imagine his disapproving look.

“They didn’t. We can film after lunch, that’ll give me enough time to finalize the script and finish my essay.” That was all that Logan said before walking out of the living room. But Virgil was not about to give up, that theory is getting into the video, by whatever means necessary. Even if Virgil had to write the theory himself.

That’s exactly what he did. He spent the hour and a half between their meeting and lunch, he worked hard at writing up his script for the alien theory. Before long they sat down to eat their simple lunch of sandwiches and lukewarm soup. Then they sat in their “set.” It was just a cheap table, two chairs, one for each of them, and a corkboard with various famous photos of cryptids and mug shots strung together with red string.

Just as they sat down, a text tone came from Virgil’s phone which was on the other side of the room to keep it out of the shot. Logan jerked his head over to Virgil’s phone as it continued to ping, telling him to either respond or shut it off, Virgil wasn’t really sure. He sighed and sat up, making his way across the room so that they could start their filming. Unsurprisingly it was from Roman, he already had 20 notifications and it was growing by the minute.

hey
hey 
hey sunshine
emo nightmare 
my chemically imbalanced romance
virgil 
virgil 
VIRGIL
respond to me 
im bored 
can i come over
im coming over
see you in like 10 minutes

?me and logan were just about to start filming, so can you stop spamming me


ooh your filming im definitely coming over now


okay but its not really all that interesting to watch, but do as you please


yep uh huh see you in 5

 When Virgil set his phone down, on silent this time, he heard Logan call out to him from across the room, somehow still in monotone. “Are you done interrupting our filming? I would like to finish this sometime soon.”
 “Yeah, Roman’s coming over by the way,” at Logan’s questioning look Virgil elaborated, “he got bored so he decided to come over, he says that he’s about 5 minutes out.” Logan nodded and Virgil walked to the door to unlock it before sitting back down beside Logan.

Just as Logan started his countdown, there was a loud knock at the door before it was unceremoniously thrust open, leaving Roman standing in its place. “I’m here! I can’t wait to see how you guys make these!”
Virgil ignored Logan’s pointed stare as Roman walked into the room. “Can you shut the door and then, shut up so that we can, you know, film.” Roman’s overdramatic stance relaxed, and he quietly shut the door before sitting down on their couch behind the camera.

The rest of the video went off without a hitch, Logan read through the entire story, letting Virgil make comments after every other sentence, sometimes even returning with dry responses of his own. Roman surprisingly stayed silent the entire time, seemingly too entranced into watching them film.

Or at least it was going well until Virgil pulled out the alien theory. Just as Logan was about to say the closing lines, Virgil cut him off. “Our final theory of the day is that Gloria was abducted by aliens.”

Logan’s face was blanker than ever, he was staring straight ahead and didn’t seem to be listening to anything that Virgil was saying after the words “aliens” came out of his mouth. Before Virgil could even start with the theory Logan had already stood up and left the room, face still blank. Roman and Virgil made eye contact as Logan left. After a few seconds, they both burst out laughing and resigned themselves to wait for Logan to come back. 
20 minutes later, Logan still hadn’t returned and Virgil had just about enough of waiting. Virgil was just about to go find Logan when he made eye contact with Roman. In a flash of brilliance, Virgil got the great idea to just have Roman be his co-host for the rest of the video. It was honestly the best idea, if Logan was actually mad or upset with Virgil there was no way that Virgil was going to convince Logan to come back.

“Hey Roman? Would you like to fill in for Logan the rest of the video?” Roman looked up at Virgil, bewildered at his question. He understands, the question is a bit out of nowhere, but Roman eventually nodded and took Logan’s seat.

Virgil turned back to the camera and made sure that it was still rolling before quickly introducing Roman then continuing with his theory. Roman fit into the space that Logan had left very easily, working off of Virgil just as well as Logan had, just with a less dry personality.

Virgil had almost made it all the way through his alien theory when Logan returned. He quietly walked over to the camera and checked on the footage and made sure that everything was still good with the camera and lighting. He gave a small nod to the two of them after Virgil finally said his closing lines. Logan quickly took the camera and started to leave to the room once again before he stopped and turned to Roman. “Do you want to continue to be on screen? I wouldn’t mind moving behind the camera if you enjoyed filming with Virgil today.”

Roman gave a small nod, still giving Logan a bewildered look. Logan nodded back at him and gave small, barely-there smirk to Virgil. With that small twitch of the lips from Logan, the dots in Virgil’s head started to connect.
Virgil gave Logan a disbelieving look. Before Logan was able to make his escape, Virgil pointed at his roommate accusingly, “did- did you plan this?” Logan gave his shoulders a small shrug before retreating to his room, camera in hand, muttering to himself all the way something about ‘having to draw up another contract.’



You know that I read somewhere that people think that she was accidentally poisoned by the hospital staff accidentally giving her meth. 

?Where did you read this

Somewhere.

(sigh)

The Odd Death of Gloria Ramerez, “The Toxic Woman”
376 Views

 


Comments (18) 


emerson

logan walking off when virgil presented his alien theory and then not being a part of the rest of the episode is a whole ass mood

 

union_slime

Okay, but the “accidentally gave her meth” theory is actually something that exists. It posits that someone in the hospital was smuggling meth precursor chemicals (chemicals used in making meth) in the hospital’s IV bags and Gloria was given one of these bags on accident instead of the one that she was supposed to get. It would explain the ammonia smell (as these chemicals are known to smell of ammonia) and how all these pieces of evidence just went missing as if the smuggling was actually the cause it would put the jobs of all of the hospital workers at risk and not just the ones involved. It would give the hospital employees a reason to hide all of this evidence from investigators.  

 

Sallie Robertson

So is Roman going to replace Logan or what… cuz I love Roman and Virgil’s chemistry but if Logan leaves imma be kinda sad

 

vinny tiger

virgil: I ThINk tHaT iT WAs aN aLiEN ABdUcTIoN
logan: ...
logan: ight imma head out



The day after the upload, Roman visited the two of them again in their apartment again, only this time it was purely business. Logan took it upon himself to write another contract so that Roman could officially join their team. Roman unsurprisingly signed with only a quick “are you sure?” to Logan, just to be positive that he was okay to take over his onscreen role. 

Once Roman set down the pen he immediately put his hand up for both Logan and Virgil to high five. Virgil gratefully slapped his hand against the other’s, Logan not so much. “So I guess you finally joined the crew huh?” Virgil asked, pulling Roman’s attention away from trying to get Logan to give him a high five.

“Oh, yeah, I guess that I have,” Roman’s arm goes to wrap around Virgil’s shoulder in an odd imitation of a side hug. “I can’t believe that this is actually happening, this is like a crazy fever dream” Virgil gave Roman a small thrust of his elbow into Roman’s side in order to get Roman off of him. As Roman unlatches himself from his shoulders, Virgil holds out a hand for him to shake. Roman gratefully takes it and gleefully shakes his hand with way too much enthusiasm.

“Welcome to the crew”

Chapter Text

A few weeks later they had fallen into a routine, every week the three would meet up for a day and record a video for the channel. They now had about two and a half thousand subscribers that were very dedicated to the channel and Roman and Virgil alike. They did videos about everything from the Somerton Man to the Roswell incident (Logan really liked that one), they even added a post-show Q&A after their episode about the Black Dahlia because of the number of questions that they were getting.

It was around the end of September when Roman finds a flyer for a nearby haunted house. It looked incredibly low budget, the costumes were unconvincing and it was definitely overpriced. “I think that we should visit a haunted house.” Roman proudly handed the flyer over to the other two, waiting eagerly for a reaction. 

“You want us to visit some, shitty haunted house that employs exclusively high school theater kids?” Virgil’s confusion was evident on his face and in his inflection. He handed the piece of paper to Logan for him to look at. 

Roman shook his head. “No, I mean that we should visit an actual haunted house. You know, for the channel.” That actually wasn’t a bad idea. Though it doesn’t fit their whole ‘unsolved’ theme perfectly, it does have a somewhat mysterious quality to it. The more that Virgil thought about it, the more Virgil thought that it was a good idea. 

“That actually isn’t a bad idea, though we will need someone to find a location for us to go to...” Virgil and Roman both turned to Logan, silently pleading him to help them. Logan let out his characteristic sigh, however, he doesn’t outright refuse. Logan pulled a pen out of his pocket and started to scribble on the back of the haunted house flyer. 

“I guess I’ll see what I can do. It may take a few hours though.” Logan pulls his phone out of his pocket tapping away at his keyboard. “If you two could excuse me.” He brings his phone up to his ear as he walks out of the room, retreating back to his own bedroom.

Both Virgil and Roman were excited about Logan deciding to help them find a haunted location for them to film at. They were thrilled to do something new for the channel, especially something so new. Then Virgil realized the best part about going to a haunted location, he could finally try and get evidence of the existence of ghosts. That would be the best outcome of their trip. 

When he told Roman this, he was met with an incredulous stare. “Okay but like, ghosts don’t exist.” Virgil met Roman’s stare with one of his own. They had met at a crossroads. On one side, was Virgil a firm believer in ghosts and cryptids and everything paranormal, on the other was Roman, someone who didn’t believe in the supernatural. 

“What do you mean? Of course they exist.” Virgil wasn’t trying to start a fight, but he certainly was going to try and convince Roman to his point of view. He was interested in Roman’s train of thought on not believing something that had so much proof behind it. Roman was usually such a fantastical person, why wouldn’t he believe something like this that was so obviously true.

“Yeah no, Logan says that ghosts don’t exist, and like, he’s smart.” Of course it’s because of Logan. It seems like anything that comes out of Logan’s mouth would be taken as gospel by at least one other person. 

“Okay, but like, Logan can be wrong” Virgil wrung his hands, trying not to let Roman see how uncertain he was about his own statement. Roman didn’t seem to be buying it though. 

“Can he though? Can he?” 

Okay, so Roman didn’t believe him, but that was fair enough, Logan usually knew what he was talking about. His stances on things were usually well researched, or at least logicked through with the almost encyclopedic knowledge of basically anything that related to science, math, English, trivia, okay basically everything, Logan knew everything. “Okay, he’s usually right, but like, not about this.”

“Guess we’ll have to see.” Roman’s response wasn’t quite what he hoped, but it was better than he feared.  Virgil guessed that he just had to find concrete proof of the supernatural to convince not just Roman, but Logan as well. They both are fairly logical, if presented undeniable evidence they would have to acknowledge the supernatural. 

Two days after Roman had first introduced the idea of visiting a haunted house, Logan finally called Roman back to their apartment. He left the two of them to sit in awkward silence on the sofa until he decided to grace them with his presence. After a few minutes, they were thankfully graced by Logan’s presence. 

His hair was unusually messy, and his already unnaturally pale skin was paler than Virgil had ever seen it. He had obviously gotten little sleep last night, and yet the way that he held himself was just as pristine as ever. Logan cleared his throat in an attempt to get the attention that he already possessed from the other two. 

“I was able to convince the owner of the Houghton Mansion to allow us to film after hours.” He handed Virgil a small stack of papers that at closer inspection were pages to the script. “We’ll be driving up this weekend, but in the meantime Virgil you should familiarize yourself with the script. We can do the voiceover here and then splice that with footage from the house.”

As Virgil started to page through the script, he realized that it was more about the historical basis of the house, and not the various ghosts that haunt the premises. “Um, Logan, not to be rude, but where are the ghosts?”

“Ghosts aren’t real Virgil.” Virgil wasn’t about to fight Logan about that. He’s known Logan for a while now, and if he’s learned one thing over the past however long, it's that Logan was stubborn, and he wasn’t about to just change his mind, no matter what Virgil says. 

Virgil let out a sigh. “Okay they are, and this is an actual haunted house, so the least we can do is record some of the ghost sightings.” Virgil thought that it was reasonable, he wasn’t even asking Logan to believe in the paranormal. However, Logan did not see it that way. 

“Not actual ghost sightings, and no, if you want to talk about tricks of the light, you write the script yourself”

Virgil sighed, “...fine” It was probably for the best, that means that he would have full control over the way that he presents the information. He should probably get working on that quickly, there was no way that Logan would postpone filming even though Virgil had to rewrite parts of the episode. 

Seeing as it was Thursday, he still had a day and a half to write up his script, so he made a quick trip to his room to grab his computer and sat next to Roman on the couch so that they could talk out the schematics of the script. It took them a few hours, but they were able to piece together a script from the research that Logan had already done and a bunch of online ghost sightings. 

Saturday was exciting for the crew. It was the first time that they were filming somewhere outside of Virgil and Logan’s apartment. It was a new experience for them. They met up early in the morning, and everyone was tired. Well, Roman and Virgil were tired, Logan usually woke up this early in the morning. So while Roman and Virgil were guzzling down caffeine, Logan was calmly sipping his tea. They all piled into the car, Logan driving of course, and set out for the Houghton Mansion. 

Other than the early morning it was a fun day of filming overall. They had already recorded their voiceover for the episode, so all they had to do was film them as they traveled through the house. Logan had a quick meeting with the owner of the house just to make sure that they were still allowed to film and remind themselves of the rules. 

Their filming went well, Virgil found some evidence of a ghost, a rustling of papers to be exact. It directly paralleled a previous paranormal experience by a previous resident. Roman, on the other hand, thought that it was nothing more of the rustling of the leaves outside. Virgil had a few freakouts, especially after the sun had gone down, Roman laughed at him every time. One time Roman dared to deliberately scare Virgil, which earned him a slap in the face. 

They drove home in the dead of night, Virgil drove this time, while Logan sat in the back spending his time downloading the video onto his laptop. Roman sat shotgun and slept half the time, using the other half of the drive to annoy Virgil. 

The three of them got home around three in the morning. Roman decided to stay the night as opposed to driving back to the campus. Virgil and Roman camped out in the living room while Logan went back to his own bedroom.

 The next morning Virgil woke up in an incredibly uncomfortable position on the floor, underneath the couch that he had fallen asleep on. He could smell Logan’s morning coffee already brewing, and on the coffee table, he found a hard drive that no doubt contained a completed unsolved episode. 


 

[Car noises]

Oh my god! What the fuck was that?!??!

It was a car outside

It could be a ghost. One of the ghosts that haunt the mansion died in a car accident. 

So you heard a car and you immediately think that a ghost is going to murder you

You really thought that, didn’t you?

…you can prove nothing

Wow.

The Mysteries of Houghton Mansion

530,198 Views



Comments (4,875)

 

bi&readytodie

Roman taunting ghosts is chaotic energy at its finest

 

Veronica Ponder

i listened to all virgil’s evidence multiple times and i dont think that its all that compelling, sorry but im with roman on this one. there is no way that it was a ghost 

 

Dash-Dash

I know that a bunch of people are fighting about the car noises and the paper rustling, but did yall hear the muttering at 5:14 and 14:58 ? I don’t think that the house is haunted, but I know that their camera sure is. 

 

Pognoodles

I thought that I heard something like “actually 1890” when Virgil accidentally said the wrong date for when the house was built. Looks like the ghosts really want their history to be accurate. 

 


The episode was a massive success. It reached so many more people then they thought it would. It ended up clocking in around half a million views, and their subscriber count grew to around 10,000. Since the video did so well, Virgil decided that they should lean into this whole “haunted house” thing. He had looked into going somewhere out of state, however, it was just too far away for Logan to ever agree to drive them.

Luckily Virgil was able to find a highly visited location around two hours away. Virgil asked Logan right when he came up with the idea, and he knew that Logan would definitely say yes. There was no way that going to the Lizzie Borden house would be anything but a great idea. 

Logan did his usual sigh, immediately pulling out his phone, but that was where they ran into the problem. Even with Logan’s incredibly serious...everything… he still wasn’t able to secure the filming location. The house owner wasn’t very receptive to Logan’s cold demeanor. It meant that Logan spent the next few days stomping around the apartment, phone glued to his ear. 

It all came to a head one day while Roman was over. They were sitting on their sofa, trying to catch up on the latest episodes of some anime that one of their classmates had introduced them to. Logan had walked in sometime around episode 2 or 3 and had told them outright that he hadn’t been able to get the right to film at the house. 

Roman had seen how defeated Logan looked when he told them and he immediately came up with an idea. “Guys, just, wait here. I’ll be back in a moment.” Then he rushed out, leaving Logan and Virgil alone in the quiet apartment. 

Neither one spoke a word while Roman was out doing whatever he was doing. Both Virgil and Logan are incredibly quiet people, and they rarely spoke, instead preferring to sit in companionable silence. However, with Logan the way he was and Virgil’s overall demeanor, this silence was less companionable and more awkward. 

Roman returned ten minutes later pulling along another person behind him. He has slightly curly dirty blond hair. He had freckles splattered all over his face and arms, and round glasses perched on his nose. His skin was darker than both Virgil and Logan’s, but it didn’t take much to be tanner than those two. He wasn’t quite as tan nor as muscular as Roman though. He was wearing a pastel blue shirt and jeans, making him stand out against the eggshell walls and the dark clothing of everyone else in the room. 

“This is Patton” Roman said pointing to the other man that he pulled into the room. “He’s literal sunshine incarnate, so like, if anyone can get the location it’s him.” he nodded at Patton, who was smiling bashfully and trying to hide his face. “Plus his last name is Sanders too. Isn’t that odd? All four of us having the same last name?”

“I mean I guess that I can try.” Patton’s voice was uncertain, and yet Roman was confident in him so Virgil guessed that he was their best option. 

Virgil motioned over to Logan, “Um, I guess you should go talk to Logan about it, he knows the most about this.” Logan motioned for Patton to follow him as he walked into their kitchen for a bit of privacy. 

“Are you sure about this guy?” He looked nice enough, but Virgil gets anxious over the strangest things. Looks can be deceiving after all. Maybe this Patton fellow was actually like a murderer disguising himself in plain sight by pretending to be an innocent ray of sunshine. He was probably in the kitchen right now murdering Logan. Logan wouldn’t scream. They would have no way of knowing that he had finished with Logan and was moving on to murder them. 

Roman’s eyes lit up, oblivious to Virgil’s current internal ramblings. “Oh, yeah, totally, he’s literally the best. There’s no saying no to him.” Roman’s confidence in Patton did do a little to ease his anxiety. If Roman thought so much of this other person then he probably wasn’t a murderer… probably.

“Okay, that’s good.” Virgil took a deep inhale, “I love Logan, but, like, he’s kind of intense”

Roman nodded “Definitely. He scares me sometimes.” Virgil could understand that sentiment. Logan was definitely the scariest of the both of his friends. “I feel like he gives off the vibe that he would punch you in the face for looking at him wrong and then somehow get you convicted for assaulting him. Is that valid? I think that’s valid.”

“Hmm, I get it. Where did you even meet this Patton guy anyway?” He was actually genuinely interested in Patton and Roman’s relationship now. Plus, the more he knows about how the two met, the more sure that he can be that Patton won’t kill him in his sleep now that he knows his address. Though at this point Virgil is like 98% sure that he wouldn’t do that.

“Patton? Oh, we’re roommates, kinda like you and Logan.” That made sense, he’s happy that he finally met Roman’s mystery roommate that he’s been talking up since the beginning of the semester. “I know I already told you this but his last name is actually Sanders too. Such a strange group of Sanders, no?”

“Yeah...” Virgil let himself laugh at the comment, though it was a bit awkward. 

They filled the empty space with inane chatter for a few minutes before being rejoined by Logan and Patton. Patton was smiling brightly, and Logan looked a little, stunned, to say the least. His usually cold eyes were blown slightly wider than usual. 

“We were able to convince them to let us film at the Lizzie Borden house.” Logan nodded, face back to its usual emotionless mask, though there was a small glimmer of something almost proud in his cold, dead, eyes.  

Patton was still beaming. It created a strange contrast between the two of them. Logan’s black, perfectly styled hair compared to the unruly mess on Patton’s head. The square glasses that Logan wears contrasted to the spectacles that Patton wore. Patton’s skin was many shades darker than Logan’s, making him seem like even more of a poltergeist in comparison. The boney, almost stick-like nature of Logan’s frame in opposition to Patton's pudgier, more huggable body. Patton’s warm glow versus Logan’s cold demeanor. 

What was especially strange was the contrast in their heights. Patton was by no means tall, he was around average, but next to Logan he seemed like a giant. Logan was the shortest of the three of them, a side effect of bad genes and going to college early. That was what he had told Virgil the first time he asked why he was short at least. Apparently he had entered kindergarten early, and then completely skipped the 1st grade, making him effectively a year younger than even the youngest of the freshmen. 

Age aside, he just looked so young standing next to Patton, who held himself with a kind of fatherly maturity. He looked like a kindergarten teacher, as cliche as that sounded. At least from what Virgil can remember, he was majoring in elementary education so he fits the part. 

But now Virgil’s just going off on a tangent. The real thing that matters is that Logan and Patton were able to secure the location. It seemed that this time the whole friendly thing was the way to go. They should probably keep Patton around in case something like this were to happen again. It would be beneficial to have someone who seems so happy around all the time as well. 

Virgil clears his throat to get the other’s attention. “Patton, would you be willing to join the crew of Sanders Unsolved?” He stared at Patton for a second before continuing, “you don’t have to if you don’t want to, of course, I’m not about to force you to do this, I just think that the channel as a whole would be better if someone other than just Logan handled all the behind the scenes things, he’s not the most personable person after all-”

“Of course kiddo! I would love to do something like this with my friends!” Patton’s smile was back at full force. Had it ever left? His genuine happiness to be part of the project was calming to Virgil, or at least Virgil’s anxiety. 

Logan, however, had the same look that he usually has only while solving complex calculus (about the same as any sane person doing middle school algebra, whether that’s because he’s a genius or just emotionally repressed is a whole different question.) “But, we just met, how would we already be your friends, we’ve only known each other for ten minutes.”

“I can’t wait to work with you guys!” Patton seemed to be ignoring Logan’s dilemma, so Virgil decided that he should as well. He could still hear Logan’s voice in the background however faint it was. He was going on about not actually knowing any of us, but that's none of Virgil’s concern. “I feel like this will be such a fun time!”

Virgil allowed himself a small smile at Patton’s antics. He shot a quick glance at Roman, only to see him doing the exact same, only not with as much restraint as Virgil showed. “Welcome to the team Patton, we’re excited to work with you as well.”

Chapter Text

And so the crew was completed. With the introduction of Patton to their little project, the channel was doing better than ever. They were able to score almost any filming location with the combined force that is Logan’s no-nonsense attitude, and Patton ‘literal sunshine’ Sanders. Roman and Virgil were popular as ever in their small online community. Their channel had nearly doubled over the past few weeks, bringing them to a total of twenty thousand subscribers. Everything was going great with Sanders Unsolved. It’s unsurprising then that once again, it was one of Roman’s ideas that caused the next big boom in the channel’s popularity. 

The four of them had just finished filming their most recent video about the unexplained disappearance of the Sodder children, and they were all sitting in the living room. Patton and Virgil were talking over the show that they were watching, while Roman told them to be quiet. Logan, per the usual, was ignoring both the movie and his crewmates and was typing away on his computer, willfully ignoring whatever fight was about to go down to his left. 

But just as suddenly as it started, the ruckus died down, leaving the room in silence other than the clacking of keys and the TV playing softly in the background (at Logan’s insistence, of course, he can’t be distracted after all). Since it was so quiet, when Roman cut through the relative silence with his chatter it was incredibly noticeable. “You know what we should do?” He asked no one in particular, “we should make a twitter account, you know, for the channel.”

Whether Roman was ignoring the incredulous stares that he was getting or just simply oblivious, he continued to talk to their confused faces. “Oh come on! It would be fun! I would even run it! You guys wouldn’t even need to do anything!” Patton’s smile grew as Roman continued his speech. 

On his other side, Logan had stopped his typing, clearly listening to what Roman was saying. “I see, I guess that it could be beneficial to the channel,” Roman lit up at Logan’s acknowledgment, it wasn’t something that happened often, especially not to Roman. 

“Yeah! I think that it would be fun to have a Twitter account!” Patton’s smile was still wide, but with his agreement, Virgil’s hand started to twitch. It was a clear sign that something was bothering him. Completely unaware of Virgil's twitching hands, Patton continued, “Plus it would allow us to interact with our fans. I think it would be fun to see what they have to say.”

Virgil’s hand had stopped twitching, but now he started to wring them together in order to get his anxious energy out. It wasn’t even that he thought the twitter page was a bad idea, it was that what if they somehow messed up? The more that they put out into the world, the more that can be judged and later be used against them. “Are we sure about this? I mean, I guess it would be cool to interact with fans, but it’s a lot of responsibility-”

“Yes it may be a lot of responsibility, but it may also introduce people to our channel who have never heard of it before.” Logan butted in, cutting Virgil off, “plus interacting with the fans would get us in their good graces. The profits of making an account would no doubt outweigh the risks.”

Virgil wasn’t overly calmed by Logan’s words. They were cold and somewhat harsh, but him saying that the pros outweigh the cons of the situation was a bit relaxing. He was thorough and definitely weighed each and every odd. “I mean I guess, but I’m still not sure...”

“Come on! Please? I’ll be extra good at the next ghost house we visit! I promise! Please?” Roman’s voice was childish, and he was obviously trying to give Virgil puppy dog eyes, though they weren’t very good. “I promise that I won’t post anything bad. You can even check everything before we post it.”

Virgil gave a sigh. If he was able to check everything beforehand there was no reason for him to refuse. “I guess that we can make the page, but you have to show me what you want to post beforehand.” He pointed to Roman, making sure that he gave a clear nod of agreement. “Does this mean that I’m going to be drawing another banner for this new twitter page? This is not what my graphic design major is for.”

“Oh boo hoo,” Roman mimicked a tear rolling down his cheek and made an over-exaggerated sad face, “it's not like my cosmetology classes are being put to much use either.”

Virgil sighed in defeat and stood to get his laptop and drawing tablet from his room. It was probably for the best that he was drawing the banner anyway, there was no way that he was giving it over to anyone else, that would be a disaster. Logan would think of the banner that would cater to the most people, and yet the end product would be as bland and lifeless as he was. Roman’s creation would be some kind of photoshop monstrosity, that would no doubt be full of memes that were long dead. He wasn’t saying that it would be offbrand for them, just that it would be an eyesore. Patton’s would probably look the best of the three, but would probably be oversaturated with bright colors and irrelevant pictures. So yeah, it was definitely for the best. 

He did a very quick sketch of two very crude figures sitting at a table with their familiar corkboard in the background. On either side of the table sat a studio light, just to add a little symmetry as well as make the picture a little more interesting. Then he moved onto cleaning up his first sketch, making sure to actually add features to their faces and actually give them hair. After cleaning up he did his lineart and added color, then finally adding shading and highlights and all that other stuff. It was somewhat cartoony, but that was okay, he wasn’t really going for realism anyway. 

Once he was finished he sent a picture to Roman to get his approval. Roman got back to him almost immediately, gushing over the drawing before sending the login information for the twitter page that he had set up earlier, telling him to add the banner immediately. 

 

Sanders Unsolved

@SandersUnsolved

 

Official Twitter page for Sanders Unsolved! We hunt ghosts and make jokes while talking about dead people. 

 

2 Following 5,476 Followers

 

 

It looks like the fact that they had a Twitter page had already made its way through their viewers. Incredibly quickly as they had just created the page a few hours ago and only had one post that only confirmed that they were the official account with a shitty meme. It was crazy that there were this many people who liked his content enough to actively follow them on a platform completely separate from the videos that they were posting. 

He went to sleep that night, happy with the amount of support that they were getting by fans around the internet. He had taken a quick look around the #SandersUnsolved tag and had already found various fanart of him and Roman, and even one redraw of their Twitter banner in a more realistic style, the twitter banner that had only been uploaded two hours ago. He had even found one piece that was actually him and Logan from the first video (he was sure to save it).

Getting up the next morning had been a challenge. Even though he had gotten a reasonable amount of sleep the night before, he still didn’t want to get up and get dressed for class. So instead of doing that, he decided to have a quick check of their Twitter page, just as an excuse to stay in bed for a few seconds longer. 

Even though Virgil had slept, it was clear that Roman had not. Overnight their Twitter page had gone from empty to full of posts. Retweets of fanart and answered questions from fans. At the top of the page was even an old blooper reel that Virgil had asked Logan to make and had never come around to using. That could be bad, but a quick look at the comments proved otherwise. Aside from a few people asking about the guy who interrupted their talk about astronomy in one of the clips, (it was Logan, he got angry because they were talking about “nonsense” and decided to set the record straight) every single one of the comments were positive and showed no ill-will toward their crew. 

Even though nothing bad came of the posts, he was still going to chew Roman out for ignoring his promise to get permission beforehand. 

 

You dickwad

I thought that you were going to get my permission before you post things

i tried calling you but you didnt pick up

So you decided to post them anyway

well i asked logan and he gave the ok

I guess that I can forgive your past wrongs

thanks? 

Youre welcome

But you still owe me

what are you planning

Youll see, meet at the apartment in half an hour

Bring patton

...

ok

 

Roman showed up at the apartment 45 minutes later, spitting excuses for his tardiness, pulling Patton behind him. At least the extra 15 minutes allowed him to set up the cameras and drag Logan into helping them film. 

“So...” Roman took a quick look at the camera and lighting equipment that Virgil had forced Logan to set up. “Why do you tell us to come over?”

“I was thinking that we should film a video where we answer questions from the fans.” Virgil got off the couch and instead walked over to their filming table and sat in one of the very uncomfortable chairs that they stole from their dining table for filming. “You know, to celebrate the new Twitter account, plus this would give us the perfect opportunity to plug the channel to the fans that don’t know about it yet.”

Roman gave a quick nod and started to make his way over to Virgil when he suddenly stopped, his face suddenly morphed into a look of realization. “Is that what the post earlier was about? The ‘ask us some questions you would like to see answered’ one?” At Virgil’s silent agreement he continued, “Oh good, I wasn’t sure who posted that and I was scared that we were hacked for some reason.”

“That’s utterly ridiculous,” Logan chimed in for the first time since Roman and Patton arrived, “who would want to hack a Twitter account run by a bunch of college students? Even then, why would they make a post instead of something that would actually benefit them.”

“Oh shut up, small dark and nerdy. Let’s just film already.” He walked over to join Virgil behind the table, knocking into the corkboard which almost made it fall onto the two of them. Patton made the quick trip to where Logan was standing behind the camera. 

Since joining their crew Patton had taken on the very important role of keeping the rest of the crew in line, well, Roman and Virgil in line, Logan would never dare to go over the time that he had already allotted to filming. Patton would be a great teacher someday, his stern looks never fail to get the two of them back on track. 

Luckily with Logan’s tired glares and Patton’s stern looks were able to keep everything on track for the first couple of questions. However about halfway through the video strange noises started to sound outside. Soft scratching and banging sounds came from the wall behind Logan and Patton, the same wall that Roman and Virgil were currently facing. 

When the four heard a few thumps on the window, they convinced Patton to figure out what was making the noise. He walked over to the window, and when he looked out, he shrieked. The thumping continued, and Patton slowly opened the window and bug screen as the other three watched curiously. 

Everything was still for a few seconds, then a gloved hand came and placed itself on the windowsill, followed by another, only this glove had the fingers messily cut off. Only one person Virgil knew would do something so stupid as to wear one normal glove and one fingerless glove. 

A head followed the hands, an unmistakable scar covering his left eye. “Hello Logan, I’m having a little trouble with our law project, and I’ve decided that you are going to help me finish it.” The intruder climbed through the window, accidentally stumbling into frame in the process. 

Once he regained his footing, he straightened his back and stood at his full height. Which wasn’t very high. He must only be like, two feet tall, because he was even shorter than Logan, who was already a few inches shorter than the next tallest person in their group.

His height was only the first thing that one would notice when you looked at him. The next thing your eye may be drawn to is his bright yellow t-shirt that sat beneath his unzipped black sweatshirt. Then your eye may travel up to his head where an old grey beanie sat on his brown hair. It was the same get-up that he wore every day. Does that mean that he just had a closet full of the same exact outfit, Barry B. Benson style? Who knows, but it was currently Virgil’s leading theory. 

“Hey! We’re trying to film here! You can’t just take our cameraman you little shitheel! Janus, I mean it! You can’t just do that!” 

Janus didn’t even turn toward Virgil, giving him a less than enthusiastic response.“Oh no! I care so much.” Janus was still turned toward Logan, hand on his arm, making sure that Logan had no means of escape. “Anyway, Logan, please say that you have somewhere better to work then with all these people. They’re very loud.”

Janus started to pull Logan away from the camera, and toward the hallway, probably trying to get to Logan’s room. “You can’t just do that!” Virgil yelled at Janus’ retreating back. 

Once Janus had finally left the room, Logan being pulled along behind him, Virgil decided that they probably couldn’t finish the video, and they were starting to run out of questions anyway. He turned to the camera, and gave his best attempt in ending the video, even if it was just a half-hearted, “I guess that we have to end early because we just lost our cameraman to a little gremlin shithead who’s currently failing his law classes.”

Patton was looking toward the hallway that Janus and Logan had just disappeared down. His facial expression showed nothing but confusion. “Who even was that?” Patton turned back to Virgil and Roman as he asked.

Virgil groaned, “fricken Janus, he’s a little bitch that was in one of my gen ed courses last year.” That was one of the worst classes that he took last year. He was forced to sit next to Janus, and it was awful because Janus would argue with the teacher for the entire class, which distracted Virgil from his work. 

“I thought his name was Damien?” Roman turned toward Virgil, leaning his head on his hand, elbow on the table. 

Virgil pulled his legs up into a criss-cross position, which was somewhat uncomfortable as he was still sitting on a hard wooden chair, close enough to Roman that he was poking the side of Roman’s thigh with his knee. “No he just lied to you.” Virgil raised his voice so that Janus could hear the next part, “because he’s a shithead!”

Roman stood up, “I understand why he lied to me. Janus? Really? That's almost as bad as something like Dalton, or like Darthalamew.”

Virgil stood up as well, happy to be done with filming for the day. He picked up the two chairs that he and Roman had been sitting on. “Darthalamew? Where did you even get that from?” 

Roman gave a shrug as if it were obvious. “Well, it’s like Bartholomew, but you know, worse.” Roman sighed, then walked over to the camera, cutting off the video, just realizing that it had been on the entire time. He slid the camera off of the tripod, and motioned toward it with his head.“I guess that we should get this to Logan huh?” He took a beat, as if he was thinking through what he was about to say, before handing the camera to Patton. “Have fun Patton, he’s least likely to kill you for interrupting whatever he and Janus are doing.”


 

Today in order to celebrate our new Twitter account’s massive success we have decided to bring back a fan favorite on the channel: our post-show Q&As or as we are now calling them, our post-mortems. 

Today we’re going to be answering questions directly asked by our fans on our new Twitter (follow it @SandersUnvolved links in description)

Twitter Q&A

390, 716 Views



Comments (3,928)

 

Annie Matterfield

That little gremlin thing that crawled in through the window is an evil spirit that followed them back after Roman verbally assaulted them, convince me otherwise

 

dicpicvandyke

The demon that crawled through the window was asking for help with a law project. Does this mean your cameraman is a law student? A question for the next Q&A I guess.

 

Brazillianbear

people saying that the window man is a malevolent ghost are all overlooking the fact that he is 100 percent a demon that has been summoned by the other ghosts that roman had wronged. just imagine it. a bunch of ghosts summoning a demon to get rid of the loud man that was bullying them

 

Lskask

i would like to call attention to 9:10 and the return of the muttering ghost that haunts their camera

 


The recent response to their newest video, and especially Janus (who they had decided not to cut out because having a video interrupted by a little bitch who climbed through their window is objectively funny) was hilarious to see play out. Watching the theories evolve from he was an angry ghost who followed them home to basically the Lorax for all the ghosts that they had wronged. 

This whole Janus is a demon thing did give Roman an idea though. “I think that we should go to an actual demon house.” They were doing their usual after shoot activity of sitting on the couch in a giant pile and watching a movie before Roman and Patton had to go back to their dorm. 

For once Virgil was completely on board. It seemed like the next logical step in their quest to prove that the supernatural was in fact a thing that exists. He would be scared of course, when they actually showed up at whatever demon place that they were going to muck around in at one in the morning. For now though, he was on board. 

Patton however, paled. “I’m not really sure, I don’t think that I would be able to do something like that.” Virgil understood what he was saying completely, he had never been to one of the ghost houses, he had been visiting family every weekend for the past few weeks, and this was the first week that he was actually going to be joining them. However, a demon was something completely different. 

“Hey,” Roman said, making eye contact with Patton, “it's okay, you can just join us for the voiceover stuff and then we can just take Logan. He’ll keep us in line, it’ll be fine.” 

Patton smiled at Roman and Virgil. “Thanks guys,” he said, pulling Roman and Virgil into a hug. 

Virgil smiled. This was all going well, but this is where they reach the hardest part of the process, getting Logan on board. Virgil let out a sigh, pulling himself out of Patton’s grip and standing up, slowly making his way to Logan’s room. 

He stopped outside of Logan’s door. He took a second before knocking, but eventually he did give a quick sharp rap on the door. It took a few seconds for Logan to answer, but when he did, Virgil was met with a glare. “What could you possibly want? I just had to deal with Janus for the past hour, so whatever you have to say better be important.”

“Um, yeah, about that...” If there was one thing that could suck all of Virgil’s confidence away it was a cranky Logan. It didn’t happen often, he is very good at emotional repression, but when it did happen it was always cause for alarm. “We were wondering if you could hook us up with a demon house this weekend, like for a video.”

Logan did his characteristic sigh before pulling out his phone and closing the door. He could hear the sound of Logan saying “maybe I should have them pay for my phone bill,” through the door. Virgil let out a breath that he didn’t realize he was holding. That went better than he expected. 

He walked back to the living room to rejoin Roman and Patton. He gave them a smile and a thumbs-up, silently telling them that he was able to get Logan on board with their plan. 

They don’t see Logan for the rest of the night, but that’s par for the course. They hunkered down and made some popcorn so they could watch a movie. It was nice. Their weekly movie nights were fun, even if Logan rarely joined them, too busy editing their recently shot video to enjoy the movie with them. 

They must have dozed off sometime during the movie, as Virgil woke up to a blackened TV, and Logan standing over his reclined form. “Get up, and get dressed, I’ve already sent Roman and Patton away, we’re meeting with them again in half an hour.”

“What? Where are we going?” Virgil tried to blink the sleep from his eyes. He pulled himself up, allowing the blanket to fall from his body. 

Logan walked over to where they kept their keys, pulling his car keys off of the hook. “I was able to get a meeting with an exorcist,” he said, “after that we’re going to record the voice-over, then at 8 o’clock we’re scheduled to film at the Snedeker demon house.” He picked up a travel coffee cup from where he must have placed it earlier and took a drink.

Virgil gave Logan a look, a look that Logan ignored. “How the fuck did you get an exorcist to come onto our channel?” He didn’t even know that there was an exorcist that was even close. How did Logan even get an exorcist to agree to be on their relatively small channel (they were only at about twenty thousand subscribers)? Then again how did Logan do anything?

“Irrelevant. Get dressed, we have to leave soon”


 

Ed and Lorraine Warren, demonologists that were involved in the Amityville Horror case, had investigated the house and proclaimed it ‘possessed’

Aren’t those the people who were afraid of a raggedy ann doll?

Do...do you mean Annabelle, one of the most famous cases of demonic possession, Annabelle. The doll that was the main threat in the 2014 movie Annabelle, that Annabelle?

Yeah, that one.

Yes, they were part of that case. I’m honestly surprised that you knew it was a Raggedy Ann and not some porcelain doll like in the movies.

They were wimps. What kind of people are afraid of a doll? Wimps, I tell you wimps.

...

Sorry



The Chilling Mysteries of the Snedeker Demon House

1,040,178 Views



Comments (5,286)

 

mmmmcheese

i love the way that roman dresses because he looks exactly like the kind of kid who would have bullied me in high school and now here he is bullying a bunch of ghosts and demons 

 

Eliza Sherman

Exorcist: You should not invite these demons to present themselves

Roman: You know what I think? I think you’re too much of a pussy to kill me! Prove me wrong! But you can’t! Because you’re not real!

 

FishyFishy

I’m imagining the pitch for this was something like Roman saying: “I don’t think that making fun of ghosts is quite enough anymore, I think that we should move onto demons”

 

Ashlyn Farrington

I just want to take a minute to acknowledge their camera man, he must be fearless, there haven’t been any shaky shots so far, that guy is the real mvp

 


The next morning brought more confusion, manifested in the form of Roman and Patton barging into their apartment. Apparently Roman had stolen their spare house key the last time he was over, because there was no way that Logan let him in. That wasn’t the issue, it was the fact that they were kicking down his bedroom door at seven in the morning, and expected him not to get upset with them. Come on! He was trying to sleep for once in his life. 

“Did you see it? Did you see it?” Virgil wasn’t awake enough to give anything but a grunt in answer to Roman’s question. Hopefully Roman understood that it was way too early for this, at least let him get his coffee first. “I’m going to assume that’s a no. Anyway! You should look at our most recent episode!”

“What?” Virgil lazily opened his eyes, guess he’s not going back to sleep anytime soon. Roman was already dressed for the day, and though his eyesight was still a bit blurry, a side effect of his eyes not yet adjusting to the lights that Roman had turned on, he could see that Roman had already taken the time to do his makeup. Behind him stood Patton, looking tired and yet still happy. The news must be big then. 

“Nevermind, I’ll just show you.” Roman pulled Virgil’s arm out from where it had been under his blanket. A sharp pull from Roman got his back away from the mattress and a few more tugs were all it took to get Virgil standing, if not leaning heavily on Roman. What? He hasn’t woken up yet. Sue him. 

Roman led him into the living room and forcefully sat him on the couch right next to Logan, who gracefully handed him a coffee. He knew that it would be black, which wasn’t ideal, he usually took it with a little cream to counteract the bitterness, but he really needed some caffeine in his system, so he drank it anyway. 

Roman quickly sat between Logan and Virgil, almost spilling Virgil’s coffee. He pulled out his phone and opened YouTube, which was strangely already opened to their most recent video. “Look! Look!”

“What do you want me to-” Virgil cut his sentence short, because there, right below the video title was the view count. A very large view count. A view count that was seven digits long. “Does that really say one million views or am I going crazy?” Virgil honestly had to do a double-take, before looking again. No, that definitely said a million. 

Virgil looked up at Roman who was barely containing his excitement. He was bouncing in place, smile wide, but not wider than Patton’s beside him. He wasn’t about to look but Logan was most likely sitting on his other side, sipping his coffee in complete nonchalance, as if all of this was old news. 

We’re really doing well aren’t we?” Virgil couldn’t believe that his passion project that he started with Logan all those months ago had turned into something so big. He wouldn’t be able to do it without his crew. Roman’s showmanship and quick wit, Patton’s ability to keep them on track while filming, Logan’s insistence to do any behind the scenes work that he could, from editing to getting filming locations.

Patton smiled, leaning forward so that he could see past Roman. “You know what we should do?” 

“Start to increase our production size and scale? Maybe add additional funds to our brand through merch sales or something. Possibly look for brand deals?” Logan immediately responded, in his normal dry, practical way. 

Roman laughed. “Pfff, no. We should make a behind the scenes video”

Chapter Text

“So you were being serious when you said we were doing a behind the scenes video?”

“Why would I have been joking?”

“Because this is an awful idea.”

 


 

[Excerpts of: Behind the Scenes! Featuring: our Crew! Uploaded by Sanders Unsolved 11/12/XX]

 


 

R: “So this week we’re doing something a little different. Instead of having you sit here and watch our beautiful faces for the next 20 minutes, we’re actually going to show you the behind the scenes of each of our productions. We know that some of you have been asking some questions about pieces of our production and behind the scenes work, so we’ll be sure to answer them as they come along.”

V: “First and foremost, we should introduce you to our little crew. The super old fans of Unsolved will recognize our cameraman from the earliest videos on the channel. Yes, this whole time our cameraman has been my original co-host, Logan.”

R: “And yes, he has had to sit through every single one of the alien theories. He was not very happy about it.”

V: “Beside him is our other crew member the wonderful Patton Sanders!”

R: “He’s the literal best, sunshine incarnate, I would happily dedicate the rest of my life to him in an instant.”

V: “We all would.”


R: “Our videos usually start, as most great ideas do, during either our brainstorming sessions. Or, in most cases, after we’ve already given up on our brainstorming sessions and decided to sit down and watch movies instead.

V: “Most of our best ideas have come from these sessions-”

R: “though ninety percent of them are later thrown away by the Pouty McNo Fun that is Logan over there.”

V: “As I was saying, a lot of our ideas are later ignored by Logan when we actually decide on a case.”

R: "Logan is usually the one who chooses what case we do, really all we do is give him ideas that he can ignore.”

V: “I mean, he listens sometimes but more often than not he finds something better, like a more interesting case, or a more high profile location.”

L: “If you have a problem with me ignoring your ideas then you can be the one that negotiates for filming locations.”

R: “Just like we were saying, he may be mean to us, but he’s good at what he does.”

P: “Yes he is!”


R: “I was actually the one who first came up with the idea to go to haunted houses."

V: “He’s insanely proud of it. Almost too proud to be honest. It's kind of annoying.”

R: “Patton do you hear this! Virgil is being so disrespectful!"

P: "Its okay Roman, I still love you."

R: Thank you! At least someone here appreciates me!"


R: “The next step of our process is mostly a mystery, even to us, well mostly to me and Patton.”

V: “Next is scriptwriting, which Logan does for the true-crime episodes, and I write them for the supernatural episodes.”

P: “Don’t forget that you write all the alien theories!”

V: “Yes, I also write all of the alien theories since Logan doesn’t believe that aliens exist.”

L: “I wholeheartedly believe that extraterrestrial life does exist, however they would most likely be a type of microbe or single-celled organism on a far distant planet. There is no way that they have made contact with the earth in any instance, and definitely did not build the pyramids.”

V: “You’ve said before, and you were just as wrong back then.”

R: “He’s not wrong, he’s literally the smartest person to ever exist and has never been wrong in his life.”


V: “My personal way of writing scripts is the exact same process that I use to write essays...”

(Ding)

R: “Oh no! That’s the question bell!”

V: “But I’m not done-”

R: “A lot of people have been asking how old we are and if we are still in school.”

V: “Who’s asking that?”

R: “The answer is yes! We’re all sophomores in college.”

V: "Can we not do this now. I'm trying to-"

R: "Me and Virgil actually met through a shared class."

V: "Can I please-"

P: “Roman you cut Virgil off, Virgil please continue.”

V: “Thank you, Patton. Anyway, I make an outline, then use that outline to write out a basic outline of a script that I later use when we record.”

R: “And what about you Logan?”

L: “What about me?”

R: “Tell us about your process for writing scripts for our true crime episodes.”

L: “I’m not doing that.”

R: “Ah come on!”

P: “Now now, we can’t make him do anything that he doesn’t want to do.”

R: “Fine, but only for you Patton.”


V: “After one of us finishes our scripts we then have to go through an intense script approval process that we will recreate now. Logan, will you hand us a script please?”

L: “No.”

V: “Patton, will you hand us a script please?”

P: “Sure kiddo.”

R: “I will go first,”

R: (clears throat)

R: “ I think this is amazing, best thing you’ve ever written”

V: “You haven’t looked through it at all.”

R: “Come on! It's Logan, of course it's perfect

R: (claps)

R: “ And scene. Next is how Virgil reads the scripts, I will be playing Logan in this scenario.”

(Papers rustling)

V: “So, I read it and I have a few questions. First of all, where are the aliens.”

R: “Aliens didn’t abduct a cancer patient. Fuck you.”

P: “I’ve never heard Logan say such rude words before.” 

R: “I embellished a bit, you know, for the scene.”


V: “What happens next differs depending on if we are shooting a supernatural or true crime episode.”

R: “For true crime, we sit down and film at our wonderful set that we have set up in Logan and Virgil’s living room, and for supernatural we won’t even bother with visuals and just record a voiceover.”

V: “Logan is always the one in charge of our equipment. He works the camera when we’re filming, both when we are filming here and when we film at haunted houses.”

(Ding)

R: “The question bell! What question is it this time?”

R: “Alright, I guess I’ll do it.  Many of you have been theorizing about a mysterious muttering ghost that haunts our camera. Now is the time where we reveal his identity! This entire time the ghost has been our very own cameraman!

V: “He’s not really good at his job because he constantly snarks under his breath while we’re filming.”

R: “Though you guys can’t hear him all that well, it's always random facts that Logan knows for some strange reason, or him snarking under his breath because he’s too much of a pussy-”

[Camera falls, high pitched screaming is heard]


P: “There is a lot from these filming sessions that never make it into the video, entire sections are cut so that we don’t bog down the video with too many jokes, or stuff that wouldn’t make sense to the audience.”

R: “We say a lot of inside jokes when we’re recording, even if we’ve been specifically told to not tell them.”

L: “It makes my job harder when you tell them. It’s mostly for my convenience.”

V: “Speaking of Logan, he’s the one who edits our videos. Even in the beginning.”

R: “We all do something separate while Logan edits the video. I typically take this time to go through and interact with you guys on Twitter.”

V: “I am the one who does the thumbnails for every video-”

(Ding)

V: “Another question? We literally just had one like two sentences ago”

R: “Irrelevant. Now, what makes you, Virgil, qualified to make our video thumbnails?”

V: “I’m actually a graphic design major-”

R: “Oh my god! Wow! Such an icon!”

V: “Shut your face.”


L: “I do the editing, with a little input from Patton.”

P: “I look through all of our b-roll footage to make sure that we don’t cut out good jokes or important information.”

R: “This is an important step as Logan has no sense of humor, and if it were up to him the videos would just be a twenty-minute PowerPoint presentation.”

V: “You guys owe your lives to Patton. Our videos would be awful without him. You know what? Throw us in there too. Every person on the planet should feel indebted to Patton.”

P: “aww, shucks guys. You really are buttering me up.”

L: “Patton if I look beside me and see that you have somehow conjured an ear of corn I will leave. I’ve done it before, don't test me.”

(Loud bang that sounds like a corncob hitting a wall after being thrown)

L: (sigh)

R: "Where did he even get that?"


R: “After Microsoft Nerd finishes whatever extreme editing mumbo jumbo he does-”

L: “Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean it’s complicated.”

V: “Yeah, it just means that you’re dumb.”

R: “Shut up! After Microsoft Turd finishes his editing he usually cryptically hands over a flash drive to Virgil, like the certified cryptid he is, we’ll typically have a viewing party, and make notes about final touches that we’ll have to do before uploading.” 

V: “I’m actually the one in charge of the physical channel, so I’m in charge of uploading the videos and making sure that they’re posted on time.”

R: “Very important job.”

P: “And you do it so well!”

V: “Then it's all in your hands. You guys choose to click, choose to watch, choose to subscribe.”

R: “We appreciate you all so much and want to thank you for getting us to where we are now.”

P: “We would be lost without you.”

L: “We do everything we do for your benefit.”

V: “Can you try to sound more enthusiastic?”

L: “No.”

R: “But regardless, we would like to thank you all for watching”

P: “And we all hope you have a nice day!”

V: “From all of us at Sanders Unsolved!”

 


 

Behind the Scenes! Featuring: our Crew! 

283,913 Views



Comments (2,263)

 

Megan Santana

I? Love? Patton? So much? Like he could murder me and I wouldn’t be mad.

 

Feelthe(razor)burn

I’m so happy that Logan’s still on the crew! I was kind of sad when he left, his dry way of speaking is really funny, even if he doesn’t realize it.

 

XXXmimiXXX

so how long until i get fanart of logan sitting behind the camera muttering insults at the rest of the crew

 

Bryanisance

Roman: chaos incarnate

Virgil: tired of roman (and life in general)

Patton: literal sunshine

Logan: robot that still doesn’t understand why he’s hanging around these morons

 


“I think that the fans really like the way that our channel is going”

“Well yeah, they’re already churning out fanworks featuring the whole crew.”

“Why do you know that?”

“Look Logan! The fans love us!”

“Why?”

Chapter Text

The four of them had somehow fallen into a rhythm after their behind the scenes video. Every week they would gather together and film a new haunted location, then, a few days later they would sit down and film a Q&A video. Roman, Patton, and Virgil loved the positive attention that their show was getting (Logan was pretty apathetic). Everything was going well, and then they got the phone call. The four of them were sitting in the living room of Logan and Virgil’s apartment when the unmistakable sound of Logan’s ringtone cut through the Disney movie that they were watching.

Logan took one look at the caller ID before walking out hurriedly, already bringing the phone up to his ear. The other three didn’t dare to speak until they heard the soft sound of Logan’s bedroom door closing. “What do you think that’s about?” Roman asked after they were sure Logan was out of earshot, “Logan rarely gets calls, he doesn’t have any friends, or anyone really, who would want to talk to him.”

“Hey!” Patton said indignantly, lightly hitting Roman on the arm, “Logan talks on the phone all the time! Plus he has lots of friends!” Technically speaking, ‘Logan talks on the phone all the time’ is a factual statement. Though it definitely wasn’t with friends. For one, as far as Virgil knew, they were Logan’s only friends. Plus, Logan typically used his phone the same way that a 60-year-old businessman uses his work phone. He exclusively used it to schedule filming locations and dates for their crew and whatever other shady business Logan was involved in. 

Roman gave an exaggerated sigh, “yeah, I guess. He does use that phone a lot.” Roman turned around so that he could face Patton before dramatically falling back right onto Virgil’s lap. “I’m just curious is all-”

“What are you curious about?” Roman startled when he heard Logan’s monotone voice, causing Roman to fall out of Virgil’s lap, and in effect off the couch. He landed on the floor with a thud, the pain of hitting the hard floor caused him to groan. 

“So what was the call about?” Roman was still on the floor and it didn’t look like he was going to be getting up anytime soon. 

Logan crossed his arms over his chest and let out a sigh. “The location that we were going to film fell through. Apparently they’re having bad weather out there, and they aren’t able to open the house up because the roads are still closed. We might not be able to put out a video this week.”

Virgil sighed and internally cursed all the snow that they have been getting. It's their own fault for planning to travel up north for their next episode. They knew that the snow was coming, it was all that the weather channel had been talking about for the past week. “What if we were to do another special episode?” Patton asked, pulling his legs up into a criss-cross position. 

“That would be illogical. We just put one out two weeks ago,” Logan said, “it’s too soon for us to do another one.” Logan started to walk toward the open chair on Virgil’s left. “Plus, we don’t have any reason to do such a thing, it wouldn’t make any sense.” Logan sat with a sigh, leaning into the armrest. 

Virgil leaned back into the couch, “I guess I’ll send out a tweet or something… or… Roman! Send out a tweet!” 

Roman hummed, still on the floor. He groped around under the couch to find his phone. Once he pulled out his phone, gaudy red case and all, he started to tap away at his keypad, telling their fans that they won’t be uploading a video this week, and probably disappointing them in the process. His fingers flew over his phone screen before stopping in their tracks. “What if I were to find us a new location? Would we still be able to put out a video this week?”

“Well, yes,” Logan nods, “if you were to somehow get a filming location we would still be able to make a video this week.” 

“Alright then, I have a call to make,” Roman says, finally getting up from the floor, phone still in hand. “I’ll be back in a minute.” Roman started to walk toward the door, opening it to make his call in the hallway. 

“I feel odd.” Logan comments. “I’m not usually here for this step of the process.” He was sitting on the chair back ramrod straight, looking uncomfortable despite the fact that the chair he was sitting on was incredibly cushy. Patton however, was completely reclined into the pillows completely relaxed. They talked in hushed whispers as not to disturb Roman’s call. Roman was doing it for them so the least they could do was keep quiet for him. 

Luckily it didn’t take long for Roman to come back inside. “Guess who just got us a filming location?” He asked, closing the door with a flourish. “It was me!” Roman’s smile was wide, as he sat down on the couch, almost sitting on top of Virgil. 

Logan sighed, eyes following Roman as he sat, “how much will it cost?” Logan looked resigned, he probably thought that Roman had made some awful bribe in order to get the location, he was probably mourning the already meager funds that they had set aside specifically for the channel. Logan had a thing about money. He was stingy, never spending money that he didn’t have to. That was probably for the best though, they were college students after all. Logan was the only one of them whoever had money on him, and frequently lent them money when they went out. They were paid back of course, with interest. 

Roman’s made an overexaggerated look of hurt, placing his hand over his heart. “What!?!?! Nothing! I just got us a free filming location! ‘How much will it cost us?’ Not ‘thanks Roman, I’ll forever be in your debt Roman.’ Patton, do you hear this! Logan is being so mean to me!”

When Patton didn’t respond Roman tipped his head back so that he could look at Patton who was sitting behind him. From his upside-down position, Roman tried to give Patton puppy dog eyes, but he just looked ridiculous.  

“So where are we going?” Virgil was genuinely curious as to what kind of place Roman would find. Virgil has had extensive talks over the phone with both Roman and Logan before, and unsurprisingly, Roman was less professional than Logan, bordering on hyper. 

Roman raised a finger to his mouth, in the classic gesture for ‘keep quiet’ before giving a wink, making him look way too much like a model in a commercial for some shitty eyeliner. Virgil doesn’t think that the over the top wings he had drawn on this morning were helping him any in that regard. “I’m not going to tell you guys. It’ll be a surprise”

“But we have to put everything on the schedule, and write up a script. We kind of need to know where we are going if we’re gonna do that.” Virgil kicked his feet up into Roman’s lap, causing the other to look at him as if he had grown a second head. 

Roman groaned, finally letting what Virgil said sink in. “It’s fine, all do all of the behind the scenes work, just give me a list and it’ll get done.” Logan handed Roman a piece of lined paper, with what looks to be exactly the list that Roman had just asked for because, of course, Logan had already written everything down. Where did he even get the paper from? They don’t have that kind of stuff sitting around their living room. 

Imagine Virgil’s shock when three days later Roman broke into their apartment in the middle of his and Logan’s breakfast. “Alright everyone! Let’s go! Get in the car!” Roman pulled Logan’s chair out from under the table, then doing the same to Virgil’s. 

When they stand, Roman takes them both by the hand and starts pulling them to Patton’s beat-up old car. Patton was the only one of the four of them that owned a car, an old minivan that had been given to him by his parents. It was a little odd to see a college student driving around in a ‘mommy-van’ as Roman called it, but Patton didn’t seem to mind. 

Patton was already in the front seat, his usual playlist of cheery pop songs playing from his car speakers. Roman raced ahead so that he could take shotgun, only stopping long enough to make sure that the other two were following. Luckily they got into the back seat with no complaints. “Alright fuckers! Let’s hit the road!” Roman slammed the door, throwing his head back in an attempt to project his voice. Patton takes the car out of park and starts down the road. 

They drive for an hour before coming to a nice little suburb. The houses all looked the same, especially with all of the snow coating the greenery outside. Well, they all looked the same save for one house. The actual house was just like every other one, brick and coated in a fine powdery white, but out front was a wild-looking man. 

The man was too far away for them to make out any defining features, but they could clearly make out his outfit. An outfit that consisted of only a pair of green boxer briefs. Which was strange on any day, but especially on a day in the midst of an awful snowstorm. He was standing in what was presumably his front yard, using a garden hose to drench himself in what was most likely freezing water. 

Virgil really hoped that the man would leave once he realized that people could actually see him. Patton turned to Roman in question, silently asking which house they were visiting. Roman pointed to a nice house at the end of the street, luckily not the one that had the showering man out front. Except the man wasn’t in front of the house anymore. 

Virgil heard a screech and quickly turned his head toward the windshield just to see a blur of peach and a loud thump. They all immediately started to scream. Patton the loudest, seeing as he just ran over the crazy man that had been showering in his front yard. Roman immediately opened the car door to help the man. 

Muffled thumps came from under the car, picking up speed with each second that went by. More bangs, louder bangs, and then, strangely reminiscent of the window incident with Dee, hands came and slapped themselves on the hood of the car. Everyone stopped screaming, leaning forward to get a better look at the man who they had just run over. 

His head popped up from underneath the car, smiling widely. “Hello brother!” And the screaming started again. This crazy man had the exact same face as Roman. Though his hair was a bit darker and it had a white streak, their faces were the same, a perfect match. 

Roman was already out of the car, rushing in front of the car to help the man up. With them right next to each other the similarities were more apparent. Though the crazy man had a particularly ugly mustache smack dab in the middle of his face. 

Patton quickly parked then they all got out of the car to help the man up and into his house, straight to the one that Roman had pointed out earlier, and strangely enough not the one that he had been showering in front of. 

Once they were inside and the strange man had finally put on a shirt (no pants though), they all finally sat down to figure out what was happening. Patton, Roman, and Logan all squeezed into one of the couches and Roman and the crazy man on the other. It took a few seconds for Patton to speak up. “So like… you, and Roman, are brothers?”

The crazy man was jumping up and down, causing the whole couch to bounce, including Roman. “Yep! Twinsies even! Isn’t that great!” This guy really was hyper wasn’t he?

Roman put his hand on his brother’s arm in an attempt to calm him down. “Remus please,” he pleaded, though it didn’t seem to calm the excess energy that was coming off of his brother in waves. Roman quickly turned back to the other three, ignoring the hyperactivity on his right. “So basically I asked Remus if he could pretend that our house was haunted so that we could put out a video” Roman must have seen the look on his face because he quickly added, “if you feel bad about lying to our fans then we can just not post it.”

Virgil started to tell him to call off the episode and notify the fans when Remus cut in. “What the fuck do you mean pretend?” Remus said as he draped himself over Roman’s lap. “There are ghosts in our house Ro-ro! They’ve been here since we were kids.”

Roman shot a questioning look at Virgil. “I mean, I guess if there are actual ghosts...”


 

So Remus said that he would see a ghost from the 60s, apparently in full hippie garb down this hallway. This death seems to line up with the overdose and subsequent death of a woman named Joan Hardy who would frequently squat nearby.

You said overdose, right? Do you think the ghost will give me drugs?

 probably not….

 HEY GHOSTIE! I WANT COCAINE! GIVE ME SOME COCAINE! I CAN GIVE YOU ...UMM... 50¢ AND A PIECE OF GUM FOR IT… actually… I kind of want that gum. OKAY! NEW DEAL GHOSTESS WITH THE MOSTESS! I’LL GIVE YOU 50¢ FOR SOME OF YOUR COCAINE!





The Haunting of Remus Sanders

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Comments (6,734)

 

John Munch 

I thought that no one would trump the overall crackhead energy that is Roman Sanders and yet here comes Remus who looks like he does actual crack cocaine to prove me wrong

 

sinsational 

Are we all just going to ignore the fact that Roman and Remus are brothers? It looks like the entire family thrives on chaos

 

Cecily

i would like to think that the only reason that Roman is so unafraid of ghosts is that he made friends with the ghosts that lived in his house and now his whole lifes mission is to throw everyone off their trail by pretending they don’t exist

 

Emberly Smith

Theyve got to do more individual investigations. Its hilarious to see virgil freaking out and roman acting even more chaotic than usual

 


A few days after the visit to Roman’s childhood home, and introduction to his hyperactive brother Virgil was finally able to get a break from the chaos of life and just sit down to reflect. Filming at Roman’s house was one of the scariest experiences of his life, not only because of the ghosts, not just because of the twin brother that took every opportunity to scare him, but just being able to go to the house in the first place. Were he and Roman at that level of friendship yet? Well obviously they were, he had been to his house, even met his twin brother. 

Virgil sighed, there’s no reason to dwell on it. Virgil opened his laptop, quickly opening up the channel page. He took a quick look at analytics and the like before moving the mouse to pull up their most recent video to look through some of the comments. Before he was able to open the video however, his eye caught their channel banner. 

Now that was a throwback. He had drawn it when he first decided to bring Logan in on the project, that first night when the channel was nothing but a fever dream. The banner reflected that, him and Logan sitting behind a table, very reminiscent of the set up of the first episode. There was nothing else, not even the iconic corkboard behind them. 

That must be confusing for some people. Logan and Roman look very different from each other. Aside from the obvious height and personality differences, there were aesthetic differences as well. Roman tended to wear warm colors bright reds and occasionally orange, while Logan stuck to blacks and dark blues. Roman liked dressing himself up and always made sure that he looked the best that he could at every possible moment, always putting his own spin on the latest trends. Then there was Logan, he wore almost exclusively polos, and when he didn’t, it was replaced with a dress shirt. Virgil thinks that the best way to describe him would probably be ‘billionaire executive on his way to play golf at the country club that he owns’ but like, depressed. 

Maybe he should redraw it. Maybe he should redraw it and post a speed draw on the channel. Logan might let him. Virgil thinks it might be cool to finally get his art out there into the world. He sent a quick text to Roman asking if he could try and convince Logan to post the video to the channel before sitting down at his desk and booting up his drawing software. 

He was able to get most of his preliminary sketch before Roman texted back. 

 

logan said yes

How the hell did you do that so fast? I was assuming that logan would take longer to convince seeing as its logan that we’re ralking about

he was surprisingly easy to convince said yes right away

and ralking

Shut up

And thank you

After getting the go-ahead from Roman he turned back to his sketch. Taking another look at the work he had done so far. It was really rough. Two minimalistic figures surrounded by various callbacks from previous episodes, including Logan sitting behind a camera and a smiling Patton beside him. The Virgil figure was hunched over, looking to one side anxiously while the Roman figure faced the other way a smug look on his face as he stared down a ghost. 

He set up a quick screen record and started to clean the sketch into nicer lines and then take those cleaned up lines and make them into even cleaner line work. Then he finally moved onto coloring and shading. He chose to keep the color palette dark, using navy blues and blacks, allowing the light from the flashlight that they two held to cut through the darkness. He colored everyone using their usual colors, though he muted Roman’s red and Patton’s pastels. 

When the piece was done he stopped the recording and sent the uncut footage to Logan for him to do as he pleased with it. Realistically, all Logan would have to do would be speeding the video up and adding some background music. 

Seeing as Logan could probably finish and post everything tonight (even though Virgio had never given any of the login information to Logan) he lied in his bed and tried to get to sleep. Except, sleep didn’t come. The second Virgil decided that he was ready to sleep, the doubt decided to strike. He stayed up all night going through all the possible fan reactions to his drawing. Making the channel banner was one thing, there was nowhere for people to criticize it, unless they were to post about it on one of the videos, and if anyone had, it got buried under thousands of other comments. By posting this video, he was giving anyone a quick and convenient place to attack him. 

Eventually, he got so exhausted that he passed out, self-deprecating thoughts be damned. When he woke up the next morning he sighed and decided that he better check on the comments now as opposed to stewing in anxiety for the rest of the day. 

He pulled up the channel page, and there, right on the front page was a smaller version of the art piece that he had worked on for hours the night before. He had no idea how Logan had uploaded the video, but he clicked the thumbnail anyway, and immediately scrolled past his video and delved right into the comments. 


Comments (3,863)

 

Sienna Petty 

OMG! This looks so good! Great job!

 

TheRealSuperman

was this virgil’s doing? roman said that he was getting a degree in graphic design and shares an art class with him. if so, thank you virgil

 

SandBanksy

I love how the facial expressions capture the personalities of each of the crew members perfectly. Virgil’s skittishness, Roman’s smug look, Patton’s beaming, and Logan looking done with it all. 10/10.

 

Quieromorir 

The dislikes are the ghosts that are salty about the fact that the ghoul hunters that were harassing him look so freaking good in the drawing

 


 

The positivity that he got from the fans was reassuring, allowing him to forget all the doubt that he had been feeling the night before. There was a small voice in the back of his head that still tried to make him doubt himself, but it was easy to ignore it thanks to the praise that the fans were showering him in. 

He spent hours going through the comments, reading comment after comment of memes and praise and more memes. Mostly memes. Though he did find one interesting comment, immediately screenshotting it for future use.

 

May Day

Seeing as the artist is (probably) one of the crew members, they should design the merch if/when yall put out merch


“Merch huh? That’s not a bad idea.”

Chapter Text

The next big change in their channel is for once not a direct result of Roman. Instead, Virgil is the one to suggest that they put out merch. In the two or three months after releasing the speedpaint, Virgil had been working hard designing and redesigning possible pieces of merch that they could possibly put to market. 

In the end, he created about 30 different designs that he was confident in, even though he knew that it would be way too many to actually sell, especially for their first merch sale. Therefore, the best course of action would be to pass the possible designs by the rest of the Sanders Unsolved crew. Or at least it seemed like the best course of action at 3 o’clock this morning, however, now that Logan Roman and Patton were all sitting in his living room waiting anxiously to hear Virgil’s big announcement, it seemed a lot more idiotic.

“So.” Everyone turned to look at Virgil, their eyes bore into him, as he pulled his designs up on his laptop. He purposely avoids their gaze, keeping his eyes glued on his keyboard. “So,” Virgil repeated, turning the laptop toward the three sitting on the couch, “I think that we should do merch.”

Logan gives him a blank look. Right... he really should have talked to Logan about this beforehand, but it was too late now. He skimmed over Logan to look at Roman and Patton. Roman nodded as a way to show that he was in support of Virgil’s idea. Patton was leaning forward to get a better look at his computer, even though all of his designs we currently minimized so that they could be a surprise. 

“So Logan, can you do it for us?” Wow Roman, he was gonna try and ease Logan into it. Thanks for making this ten times harder than it already was Roman. But then Logan sighed. That could be a good sign, usually he only sighed like that when he was ready to give in. 

Virgil quickly made eye contact with Patton in a silent plea to puppy-dog-eye Logan into submission. The combination of the three’s silent appeals to Logan finally broke down the last of his hesitance. Logan pulled out his phone, though this time, he doesn’t immediately start to type on it like usual. He just stares at the home screen for a few seconds. 

Eventually, he does move on, silently getting up and retreating to his room to figure out all of the merch stuff. Luckily, they had been saving up more and more money over the past few months, both from their own pockets and the money they had been making from the channel, so Logan should have enough money to at least start a merch store. 

Roman looked like he was going to stop Logan, probably so that Logan could stay and see the designs, but Logan cut him off.  “I don’t know anything about design, and as such, I don’t believe that I would be the best to judge said designs” Immediately after giving his curt answer he turned away and left the room. 

Virgil couldn’t help but think that something was wrong with Logan. First, the blank stare at his phone, and even now his back was still too straight and his shoulders were a bit too tense. He kept his face in a carefully controlled mask of indifference, though it looks much more forced than his usual straight-faced apathy. 

No use dwelling on that though, there were merch designs to present. He turned back to Roman and Patton and clicked over to the first tab. It was a picture of the four of them, drawn in the old Hanna-Barbera style. He had matched each of the crew members up to a corresponding Scooby-Doo character who he thought really embodied their personalities. Roman was, of course, Fred. Both of them only had one brain cell between them after all. He drew himself as Shaggy, seeing as they’re both (completely reasonably, by the way) scared of ghosts and the supernatural, and Logan was drawn in Velma’s signature turtleneck and thick glasses. Due to the process of elimination Patton was Daphne, but at the same time, Patton is definitely the prettiest of the crew members anyway. 

The next picture was of just Virgil and Roman. They were only shown from the waist up, positioned back to back, Roman facing one way and Virgil facing the other. They both were holding a flashlight in a sort of callback to their new channel banner. 

The rest of the designs were also well received by the two, but they eventually decided that they should at least keep the first two, plus four designs that he did of the most famous lines said by each member of the crew. Virgil’s personal favorite was his own, in which he had drawn himself in his typical script reading pose next to purple script that simply said “aliens.” Below that was a small no written in dark blue script, a small easter egg for the fans. 

They took a while to narrow the designs, hours even, so by the time they were done they were assuming that Logan would join them soon. In the meantime however, they decided that they should figure out where they wanted to film. As a group, they decide that after their next episode, they should switch back to doing true crime episodes since they had been going to haunted locations for the past few months and it was probably time to go back to “solving” cold cases. This means that their next episode will technically be their season finale, which means that they need to go somewhere eye-catching. 

They sit in silence, completely stumped. They couldn’t think of anywhere that would be appropriate for the end of a season. But then, Patton suddenly perked up, eyes brightening. “Salem!”

They all shared a look before Virgil stood and started to race to Logan’s room while Patton and Roman followed. They scampered down the hallway, a trio of hell demons all coming to squeeze out the last of Logan’s will to live. Who are we kidding? That left him ages ago. 

Roman got there first to no one’s surprise, he’s the only one who runs on a regular basis after all. He pounded on the door, way too excited to tone himself down. It felt like ages before Logan opened the door, phone still held up to his ear, glaring daggers at the three of them. They all froze, Logan’s glare locking them in place. 

While they were all frozen, Logan talked into the phone. “Can you hold for a minute please?” Logan paused before nodding and pulling the phone away from his ear. His glare was still in place, this time aimed more directly at the three of them. “Can you three buffoons please stop interrupting me? I’m currently on an incredibly important call so that we can get merch. I’ll be out eventually, then we can talk.”

That was all Logan said before kicking them out. Roughly shoving the three of them away from his door and slamming it in their faces. They could hear a muffled “I’m sorry for the interruption. What were we talking about again?” Virgil sighed, assuming it was a lost cause. He led Patton and Roman back to the living room and sat down on the couch. “I guess that we have a bit. What do you guys want to do?”

Roman groaned and rolled off the couch, making a big show of getting up and turning on the TV. “If smartie pants is going to be a big jerk-face, then we may as well watch a movie. It doesn’t seem like he’s gonna be done anytime soon.” 

Roman flicks through their movies and silently dismisses them one by one before handing the remote to Patton so that he could choose. “That’s alright!” Patton reassured them, “he’s doing this for us after all. It would be rude of us to interrupt him more.” Virgil guessed that was true, but Logan was definitely doing this for himself as well. He doesn’t know how, but Logan was somehow going to benefit the most from this whole ordeal. 

“I guess you’re right, I’m just tired of waiting.” Roman groaned, moving so that he was hanging upside down on the couch, legs folded over the back. His face hung right next to Patton, who had taken a seat on the floor when Roman and Virgil had decided to spread out. The two of them were the tallest of the group, Roman being a giant, and Virgil being slightly above average, though it was counteracted by just how much he slouches. Their extended limbs meant that Patton would have no place to sit. Well, there still was the chair, but that was Logan’s and no one would dare try and take it from him. No one was safe from the revenge that would be brought upon the poor sap who sat in Logan’s chair, even when he was in a different room, he would find out. Logan always knows. So yeah, they all learned not to sit in Logan’s chair, some harder than others (Roman was still finding paint in places that it REALLY should not be). 

By the end of the first movie, they had started anxiously watching the entryway that led to their main hallway. They took quick glances during the entirety of the credits sequence, a credits sequence that Roman insisted on watching because he liked the music. After the last of the credits rolled by, Virgil sighed and picked up the remote, deciding that he should pick another movie. Eventually, he settled on a holiday flick, Christmas was fast approaching, and after all, the holiday season was actually one of the reasons that they had decided to go on a break after the next episode. 

Even the overbearing cheeriness of the movie still couldn’t stop them from glancing over to Logan’s room every once in a while. Logan actually came out around an hour into the movie, but that was just to tell them to turn down the movie before he retreated back into his room. 

Virgil knows that he shouldn’t be this concerned, Logan was just trying to talk everything out with whatever company he found fit to make the merchandise, but at the same time, he saw the small clench of his jaw earlier when he looked down at his phone. The words that sounded slightly more stilted than usual. The fact that he slammed the door much harder than necessary when they had gone to tell him about Salem. 

Virgil has lived with Logan for over a year at this point, and they know each other well enough to rent an apartment together, and as such, he considers himself an expert in all things Logan, and he can tell when Logan is not at his best. This was definitely not Logan at his best, something is bothering him. 

Virgil let his mind wander as a children’s chorus sang an unintentionally unnerving rendition of O Holy Night in their movie. He really should check on Logan, but at the same time, confronting him was a one way street to Logan shutting down. Maybe he should wait for Logan to come to him? But that was also a bad idea, Logan doesn’t really have the emotional capacity to seek Virgil out for comfort, his usual strategy was to ignore any icky feelings until they went away. 

Virgil didn’t realize how long he had zoned out until Roman started flicking his arm to get his attention. Virgil turned to Roman in a silent ‘what do you want.’ Roman answered his unspoken question by silently handing over the TV remote, letting him choose the next movie as well. Roman could probably feel his inner conflict from where he sat on the other side of the couch. 

It took another movie, including a mid-film popcorn and bathroom break, for Logan to finally finish his business and rejoin them in the living room. He looked so defeated, and Virgil was about to ask about it when Roman cut him off. “So Logan,” Roman started, letting him sit before proceeding, “how much more negotiating needs to be done before we can get the merch deal off the ground?”

Logan hummed, “not much, of course we’ll need to do some finalizing stuff when they actually make the prototypes for us, but other than that, everything is sorted out, they’ll even help make the website.” Logan turned to Virgil, “you’ll need to send me whatever you guys decided to have in this sale so that I can give it to them for printing.”

Virgil nodded, deciding not to bring up the whole ‘something is obviously bothering Logan’ thing when he saw how tired he was. Instead, he let Patton explain the whole idea behind taking an off week or two during the holiday season to recuperate. 

“So, you want this to be the season finale, yes? Then where do you expect to be going?” Logan looked at them in silent resignation, waiting for one of them to speak up. 

“We were kind of thinking about Salem?” Roman gave him a small smile, a futile attempt to reassure Logan that they were not complete dumbasses and totally know how crazy their suggestions are. Logan didn’t seem to be buying it. 

They sat in silence for a second or two but eventually Logan lets out a sigh and gives a tired “I’ll see what I can do.”


 

Hello and welcome to the season finale of Sanders Unsolved

That’s right all you lovely viewers! This is the last supernatural episode you’re going to see for a bit since we’re going on a break for the next two weeks and then coming back next month with brand new episodes of True Crime!

Yep, which is great because I don’t have to write the scripts for the True Crime episodes.

ANYWAY, we’re here today in Salem Massachusetts to talk about the Salem witch trials from all the way back in, like, the 1300s

They actually took place at the end of the 1600s...Europeans hadn’t even settled in the new world until the 1500s

Did I ask? No? Then how about you get on with your little story Dark and Gloomy.






The Terrifying Spirits of the Salem Witch Trials

2,173,128 Views



Comments (8,289)

 

Theresa Liley

Virgil: I don’t believe in things that are inherently silly, like witches

Also Virgil: I 100% believe in ghosts, aliens, and demons. These are all real and are actively trying to kill us at any given moment

 

Saltshakers&Peppapig

My favorite part of binging Unsolved is the fact that Virgil just steadily becomes more tired with Roman. Like the first few episodes he’s trying to convince the ghosts not to kill Roman, but now he’s just like “eat the bitch, it’s his own fault anyway”

 

ABnormal(ImfitIswear)

i think that the voice at 8:36 is actually trying to say their names 

 

Buster Simmons

Woman: *breathes*

People in the 1600s: iS THAT A WITCH I SEE?

 


It was a huge relief for them, having the break. Now they were able to sit back and forget about the channel for a bit. Focus on things like travel plans for the break, and schoolwork that was due. Logan’s mood still hasn’t lifted, but Virgil was still trying to figure out the best way to bring it up. Luckily, Logan beat him to the punch. The Saturday after they uploaded their Salem video, Logan called the three of them to the apartment and finally told them what had been troubling him for over a week.

The three of them were squished together on the couch, facing Logan who looked even more serious than usual. His face was flat and his hands were clasped in front of him.  “I’m going home for the next week.” Logan’s lips quirked downward into a subtle frown. “I expect to come back to a list of True Crime cases that you want to cover during the next season so I can go right into pre-production when I get back. Just like, find 25 or so, and then I can condense that list into the 17 episodes that we will use next season.”

Roman nods. “Okay, okay. Couple of things, number one, why are you going home the week before Christmas? Shouldn’t you wait a week to spend the holidays with your parents?”

Logan shakes his head, “they spend the holidays without me. I’m just visiting for the week.” It all makes sense now. Logan’s mood over the past week, he always got cranky when he’s stressed, and going home always made him stressed, plus with all of his course work, he’s got a lot on his plate right now. 

Virgil gave Logan a reassuring smile before walking into the kitchen to make the four of them some tea as Roman kept badgering Logan with questions. He sat on the counter as he waited for the water to boil. The next week probably won’t be as productive as Logan wants, but Virgil’s going to try his best to finish everything before Logan gets back. 

He was trying to schedule out the next week in his head when he heard the pot whistle. He took the kettle off the heat, and pulled out some cups and tea bags that he then carried into the living room. 

Logan picked his favorite mug, a simple black mug that Logan always uses for his morning coffee. Patton took the Christmas mug that he had bought as a gag gift for Logan last year, and Roman was quick to swoop in and steal the Jack Skellington mug before Virgil could, leaving him with one of Logan’s old mugs, a light green one. 

They sat and talked and sipped tea for the rest of the night. Eventually Roman and Patton had to go back to their dorm, leaving just Logan and Virgil to sit in companionable silence. Virgil brought his mug up to his face to hide his smile, even though the little tea left in the cup had long since gone cold. This was nice, Virgil wouldn’t be opposed to having more nights like this. 

Logan left the next morning before Virgil had gotten up. His bedroom door was shut tight and none of his personal belongings were left in the living room. The only evidence that he was here in the first place was the fact that the coffee machine was still slightly warm.

He didn’t hear from Logan for another week.

Chapter Text

When Virgil got the call from Logan, he (very appropriately) panicked. He already knew what Logan would do if he came back to an unfinished list. He would look Virgil straight in the eyes and ask why the list wasn’t completed, and when Virgil couldn’t come up with an excuse quickly, he would just sigh and resign to doing the work for himself. Which usually wouldn’t bother Virgil much, there is no way that Logan would follow his list anyway, it all depended on the popularity of the case, current events, and the amount of information that Logan could find about it. 

However, Logan had just come back from a week with his parents, and though he has never talked about them directly, Virgil could tell through the way that Logan speaks about his home life that their relationship was strained. He had only visited them once before in the two years that they have been roommates, and the last time was about halfway through the first semester of their first year, almost a year and a half ago. He came back irate and barely able to hold a civil conversation with anyone without looking either ready to cry or ready to explode in anger, which was a far departure from his normally stoic face. So he spent the few hours before he had to pick Logan up from the airport looking over cold cases.

When he was very close to finishing the list he got a call from Logan, presumably to tell Virgil that they were taking off. Logan’s family lived down in North Carolina and Logan had told him the flight would be about two hours, and once he took into account the time it took to drive to the airport he had about an hour and a half left to finish making his cold case list. That would be just enough time, Virgil was able to finish the list and make the twenty-minute drive to Logan’s airport. Just as Virgil was pulling into the pickup zone, Logan texted that he had just landed, and Virgil texted back that he was waiting for him by the bag pickup. 

Virgil kept his eyes on his phone, making sure to keep himself as small as possible and keep from attracting the attention of all the other people waiting around for the other passengers. Minutes passed as he waited for Logan to come around the bend. He hadn’t tried to contact Virgil after his initial text message or give any more information, but he knew that Logan isn’t one to dawdle around so it shouldn’t be much longer. 

He was just about to look down at his phone to check his messages again when he saw the characteristic crisp shirt and tie that Logan always wore. Logan seemed to see him as well because he immediately started toward Virgil. Their eyes met from across the room, and yet, it felt as though Logan was looking right through him. 

Virgil waited for Logan to come to him, he was standing about as close as one could to the doors without setting off the motion sensors to open the automatic doors after all. Logan already had his luggage, all stowed away in the small black suitcase he brought as carry-on, he had said before he left it's because he hated waiting around for his bags to come off the plane, and since he can fit everything he needs in a small bag, he makes it easier for himself by just bringing a carry-on. 

Logan must really be power walking because it took him no time at all to cross the room. Virgil didn’t get the warm reunion he was hoping for once they were face to face. They had been in entirely different states for the past week, and sure, he didn’t expect Logan to jump for joy or hug him, but he did expect at least a greeting. Instead, he got a curt nod and a stare that looked somewhat hollow. If he had thought Logan was staring through him before, it was ten times worse when they were this close to each other. 

Virgil decided that it wasn’t the time to bring up Logan’s mood, it was clear Logan didn’t want to talk, and Virgil didn’t think he was ready to have any sort of deep conversation either, especially not after last time. It has been a year and a half since he last visited his family, and the last time he came back in the exact same state of emptiness. He had come back to the dorms looking tired and sad, and though they hadn’t been friends at the time, he decided that he should at least try and help Logan. That had obviously been a mistake on his part as Logan had yelled at him for five minutes straight before shutting down entirely. He had refused to speak to Virgil for days, and as far as he knew, he also refused to speak to anyone else as well. 

After a week of complete silence in their shared dorm, Logan had come back and apologized for yelling. This, when Virgil thought back on it, was probably the catalyst for their friendship. They had only spoken in polite, overly stilted conversations, but after Logan’s blow up they had gotten more comfortable with each other. Maybe it wasn’t as big a mistake as Virgil had initially assumed it was. Mistake or no, Virgil wasn’t emotionally equipped to deal with that again, especially not this close to the holidays. 

Virgil and his family had spoken and decided that he should wait to drive over to their family house in Rhode Island until Christmas Eve and then drive back to college in the New Year. This was mostly to avoid having to interact with the extended family, not that he doesn’t love his family, but it's probably for the best that he doesn’t have to talk to Uncle Gary, who makes it very clear how much he disagrees with Virgil’s ‘life choices.’ 

Even with how accommodating his parents have been to his wish to avoid Uncle Gary, Virgil still had a lot of stress to deal with right now, and he’d rather not add more by upsetting Logan even more. He’d have to deal with this quiet for a week at most then he’ll be back home in Providence with his parents. 

Virgil leads Logan out to the parking lot and walks through a sea of cars before stopping at his own, a small black car that he had bought used all the way back in sophomore year of high school when he had first gotten his driving permit. At this point he and Logan basically shared the car, seeing as Logan doesn’t have one of his own and anywhere that Virgil has to go Logan usually has to go as well. Technically speaking, when Logan had started college he hadn’t even had his license, only getting his permit the summer before he started. Another “perk” of going to college early he guessed.

It was a long drive back to their apartment, all in relative silence. He tried to start a conversation on the way back, something unimportant like telling him about the trouble Roman had landed himself in with the campus police without Logan reeling him in, but Logan wasn’t responding at all, maybe a grunt once and a while but that was it. 

Virgil risked a glance at Logan as he pulled into the car park beside their apartment. Logan was looking straight ahead out the windshield, in a seemingly endless staredown with the buildings outside. Only when he put the car into park did Logan move his eyes from the grey walls of their apartment building. 

Virgil watched as Logan opened the door and quickly got out of the car, before getting out himself. He let Logan lead the way back to their apartment, lagging behind Logan’s quick strides. They scaled the stairs up and up and up until they finally reached their floor. 

Virgil stood back and let Logan open the apartment door, only entering when Logan held it open for him. He immediately walked over to the coffee table to pick up the sheet of paper he had placed there before he left to get Logan from the airport. Virgil silently handed Logan the list, and he took it before making a beeline for his room. Virgil was going to stop him but decided instead to just let him go, he probably needed his sleep anyway, Virgil sure did. It was almost midnight anyway, he would never know why Logan decided to schedule such a late flight. 

Virgil retreated to his own room. In the comfort of his own bed, he silently hoped that Logan would be back to normal in the morning, but he knows how unreasonable that sounds. God help him, he just has to survive one more week. 

Virgil woke up to the sound of his text tone, probably Roman reminding him that he and Patton were going to be meeting up with him and Logan later to plan out their filming schedule. Virgil pulled himself out of bed and decided to forgo changing out of his sleep clothes, instead, walking into the kitchen in his sweatpants. 

Apparently, whatever deity Virgil had been praying to last night obviously took pity on him because he entered the kitchen to find Logan, sitting casually at their small dining table, drinking his morning coffee and reading a book. On second look, however, Logan wasn’t as normal as he first appeared. He still looked a bit miffed, and he was reading The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes , which Virgil knew was a comfort book for him. It seems that even a god couldn’t calm Logan down all the way. This only further cements Virgil’s belief that Logan is the most powerful being in the universe. In any case, Logan is a lot better than he had been the night before. 

Logan looked up from his book, making eye contact with Virgil. “We’re meeting with Patton and Roman in half an hour, correct?” For it being the first thing Logan said to him in a week, it was surprisingly mundane. 

“Yeah,” Virgil checked his phone to find a thousand messages from Roman all about the meetup, as well as one from Patton confirming the location. “Looks like Roman wants to meet us at the cafe near the edge of the city.” Roman and Patton had both gone home for the holiday break, however, they both lived less than an hour from campus, so they offered to drive down so they could still have a face to face meetup. 

Logan set down his book, not bothering to mark his page, “I guess we better get going then, it’s too far to walk and you never know how traffics going to be at this time of day.” He took his coffee mug and washed it out in the sink, and made his way over to their small foyer, picking up the keys and throwing on a light jacket. 

Virgil started to follow him, before realizing that he was still wearing the clothes he had gone to sleep in. “Logan wait! I need to change first!” He called out, already running to his room. 

He could hear Logan opening the door, telling him to hurry up and that he’d be in the car. Virgil quickly pulled on a pair of black jeans and a clean shirt before running out of the apartment, almost falling down the stairs in his rush to get to the ground floor. 

He was out of breath when he finally reached the car. It seemed like Logan was driving as he had taken root in the driver's seat. Virgil opened the door on the passenger’s side, and got in quickly, barely closing the door before Logan was taking the car out of park. 

The cafe wasn’t far per se, about ten minutes by car, but Logan was right, traffic was hardly predictable, and it seemed like luck wasn’t on their side this time. It took them 23 minutes to cross the small city (yes, Virgil was keeping track). By the time they got to the cafe, both Roman and Patton were already there, and judging by the cups that sat on the table in front of them, had already ordered. 

Virgil went and joined Roman and Patton while Logan walked up to the counter to order for the two of them. Virgil pulled a chair out for himself to sit and Roman’s head, which had previously been looking down at his phone, whipped up to meet Virgil’s eyes. “Virgil!” Roman’s voice was so loud that Virgil took a quick look around the quiet cafe just to be sure that no one was disrupted by his outburst. Luckily it seemed as though everyone was still focused intently on their work. Roman didn’t lower his voice at all as he continued, “It’s been so long since I’ve seen you!”

Virgil gave an awkward chuckle, “you only went home a week ago Roman.” 

“So what? You know what I have to deal with back at home. You’ve met Remus, you can only imagine how much I’m suffering having to share a room with that rat-boy.” Roman pounded his hands on the table, almost making his coffee fall off the table. Roman honestly looked close to crying. He’s such a drama queen. 

“You still share a room with your brother? What are you? Five?” Virgil stole the coffee out of Roman’s hand, taking a sip. He could only imagine how badass he looked in that very moment. When the drink actually hit his tongue however, he blanched. How much sugar does one person need?

Roman slumped onto the table, “one of my younger brothers moved into my room when I moved out so now I’m stuck sharing with the menace.” He bent the straw so that he could take a drink while still laying on the table. 

“Now, now, don’t be mean to Roman” Patton chided. That was about the time when Logan joined them at the table, effectively cutting off their small talk. Logan handed Virgil his coffee and a packet of sugar that Virgil gratefully dumped into his cup. 

Logan sat across from Virgil and only then did Virgil let his eyes leave Logan. That was when he realized the strange look that Roman was giving him. Roman leaned over, obviously hoping that Logan was too preoccupied with his conversation with Patton to notice. “What’s wrong with the nerd?” 

Roman wasn’t being quite as quiet as he thought he was, because Logan turned toward the two and raised his eyebrow. “I can hear you, oaf.” 

“Then what’s wrong with you?” Roman tried to play off his question as agitation, but Virgil knew he had actual concern for their friend. 

Logan took a sip of his coffee. “Visited my parents over the weekend.” Logan tried to feign nonchalance, but the intensity in which he watched his cup gave him away. 

 “And that made you like this?” Roman motioned toward Logan, cup in hand, spinning the liquid inside. 

Logan pursed his lips, before saying “our relationship is...strained.” Thankfully Roman dropped the topic, and let Virgil redirect the conversation back to less uncomfortable topics. Thankfully they had a lot to figure out with scheduling so it was easy to ignore the elephant in the room for the time being. 

A few hours and way too many cups of coffee later, they had a narrowed down list of cases and a typed up schedule. It was all going well until they were stupid enough to bring up the post mortems. Talking about the post mortems caused Logan to ask about how the after show for the Salem episode went, which led to them admitting they never filmed one, which caused Logan to sigh and tell them they should get on that. 

So all four of them drove back to the apartment building and met up again in the parking lot. They walked back to the apartment in a group, talking in hushed conversations so as to not disturb their neighbors. 

When they finally reached their apartment Virgil had expected for them to set up right away, Roman and Patton had walked to the kitchen to get the table and chairs and he had gotten the camera and tripod out, Logan instead started to go to his room. Virgil cleared his throat to get Logan’s attention. “Where are you going? We were going to film the post mortem.”

Logan turned around, and from Virgil’s perspective, he just looked tired. “I’m too tired to film, just have Patton work the camera for tonight. Just bring me the video to edit after you’re done.” Logan leaves quickly after that, giving Virgil no time to argue. 

Roman walks into the room, chair in hand, just as Logan was walking out. “Is he okay?” Roman sets the chair down next to Virgil, “he’s kind of scaring me not gonna lie.”

Virgil shrugs his shoulders and looks back to the hallway that Logan had just disappeared down. “I don’t know, I’ll check in later, there is no way that he wants to see any of us right now.”


 

This question comes from Bdazzled on Twitter. They ask, why do you think witches are so outlandish? I mean, you believe in ghosts and demons, they’re pretty silly too. 

(repressed laughter)

Okay, first of all, ghosts and demons exist. There’s proof.

What proof?

There's pictures! And evidence of things moving on their own!

Sure.



Salem Witch Trials Q&A

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Comments (1,927)

 

Elle MacDonald

Roman: There’s no proof of ghosts

Virgil: gets thrown out the window by a ghost

Roman: That’s a mighty strong breeze there

 

peuh2vw

Do you guys think that they look a little under the weather? I hope they feel better soon!

 

hwackthesack

Everytime I look at the two of them I fall in love a little bit more with these two chaotic rat men

 

Kye Baird

I still find it crazy that virgil draws the line at witches, like he believes in all this crazy supernatural stuff but no witches are where he draws the line

 


Virgil takes his time walking to Logan’s room. He had said he would talk to Logan later, and it seems as if later was now. He knocks softly on Logan’s bedroom door, hoping that Logan will tell him off and they could continue to ignore the glaring problem until Logan got over it on his own. But on the other hand, he wanted his friend to be happy, give him support in his time of need. 

That might be why he knocked again harder when Logan didn’t answer the first time. That might be why when he once again didn’t get any response he opened Logan’s door. He was cautious about it of course, Logan didn’t like his privacy being violated after all. 

Virgil can’t think of another time he had been in Logan’s room. It was just as he would have imagined it. Two giant shelves along one wall, a bed along another, a desk facing the only window, and right smack dab in the middle of it was Logan, sitting alone in the dark room, book open on his lap, though he wasn’t reading it, instead, he was just staring straight ahead. 

Virgil approached him carefully, making sure not to scare Logan out of stupor. He gently coaxes the book out of Logan’s grip, causing him to look up at Virgil. “What’s wrong?” He set the book on Logan’s desk and stood in front of him. 

Logan’s shoulders slumped at Virgil’s question. “It’s just normal parent stuff.” Logan refused to look Virgil in the eyes, to the right of his head, and straight out the window. 

Virgil sighed, he had already committed to being a good friend when he walked into Logan’s room with the intention he would help him, might as well go all the way, “and what would ‘normal parent stuff’ entail?” 

Logan looked like he was going to brush Virgil off before stopping. “My,” he started, taking a deep breath, “my parents had gotten into debt when I was young. We had never been particularly rich, but they had fallen victim to some really nasty loan sharks when I was about 3 years old. The lack of money meant that they had to take on more hours at their work, leaving me alone for long periods of time.” 

Logan kept his eyes forward, even as Virgil tried to make eye contact. “Since they were always working, we never really had a relationship. The only meaningful conversation I can ever recall us having was when I had first told them about my plan to go to college.” Logan started to fiddle with his fingers, a strange habit for someone usually so unmoving. “They were constantly telling me to get good financial aid. I can understand why, there was always the constant threat of running out of money growing up, but it really put me into a bind when I had to reject my dream school for this place because of money.”

Virgil watched as Logan lifted his head to watch the ceiling. “I have always wanted to go to Yale, and when I got that acceptance letter, I was overjoyed.” Logan lowered his eyes, finally making eye contact with Virgil. “In the past two years I was able to make some money, enough that I would feel comfortable transferring at the beginning of the next semester.”

“Of course I’d still have to be reaccepted, but I’m still younger than some of the incoming freshmen so it’s not like I’d stand out that much around campus.” Logan sighed before continuing, “really, at this point, the only thing holding me back is the channel, and you guys. It may not seem it at times, but I genuinely do care about everything we’ve done together.”

Virgil shook his head, “Thanks for opening up to me, and I think you’ll do just fine when you decide to transfer. Plus, you won’t be that far away, if we schedule right you can still film for us. You won’t be getting rid of us that easily. You’re our friend and nothing will change that.” The edges of Logan’s lips quirked upwards into a small smile. 

Virgil opened his arms in a silent offer. Logan didn’t accept his hug per se, but he did sling his arm around Virgil’s shoulders. “It’ll all work out, don’t worry about it.” The future may be uncertain, but for now, he’ll sit here with his roommate and enjoy the quiet.

Chapter Text

It starts with the post mortem. 

Let Virgil just say that this entire mess was entirely Roman’s fault. Roman was the one who had tried to add a stupid animation to the end of their Q&A on the West Mesa killings. He had batted his eyelashes and begged on his hands and knees for Virgil to add a fricken hot dog running across the screen at the end of the episode. Virgil refused his request, knowing that if you were to give Roman an inch he would run a mile before anyone could catch up. Curse him and his stupid running abilities. 

He may be taking that too literally, but the point still stands. Virgil thought they were all on the same page, you never can give Roman any ground. Apparently he and Logan weren’t on the same page because when he watched the finished episode, there at the end of the episode was a stupid clipart hot dog driving its way across his computer screen. 

Virgil, of course, immediately confronted Logan when he found out. He stomped out into the living room. By some stroke of luck, Logan had left his room for once, and was sitting in his usual chair typing something on his computer. The TV was on, but it was muted and Logan didn’t seem to be paying it any mind anyway. 

“Why?” Logan looked up from his work, quirking an eyebrow in silent confusion at Virgil’s outburst. “Why would you do this?” Virgil shoved his phone in Logan’s face, making sure that Logan can see the ridiculous hotdog paused on screen. “Why did you let Roman have his stupid hotdog thing? He’s going to keep doing this you know.”

Logan shrugged, looking back down at his laptop. “I wasn’t going to do it, but I came around eventually.” Virgil didn’t believe that for a second, and his expression said as much. Logan sighed, giving into Virgil’s stare. “He annoyed me until I gave in. ”

“Doubtful...what did he bribe you with?”

“He offered to pay for my crofters jam for the rest of the year”

That explained everything. Logan would do anything for a jar of crofters, and in exchange for a year’s worth of jars of crofters? He would probably kill a man...or two. Dammit. Roman was going to get his way for a while. There’s nothing that Virgil can do while Logan is still under Roman’s thumb, hopefully this whole thing will just blow over and he’ll never have to think about stupid clipart hotdogs again. Everything will be fine. 


Everything will not be fine. 

At the end of the next post mortem Roman struck once again, this time demanding that the hotdog be driving in a car. He also took the time to describe his fictional hot dog wife. Virgil sat next to him with a defeated look. 


Roman took it too far this time. 

It’s the third time that Roman had interuppted their post show with his stupid hotdog animations. Once again, he had his hotdog and his wife driving across screen in their stupid convertable. It was time to take this into his own hands. 

“OH NO! THE HOTDOGS’S CAR IS CRASHING! OH MY GOD!” Virgil brought his hands to his face in mock horror, staring offscreen at an invisible crash site. 

Roman looked put off for only a second before immediately looking at where the presumed car crash would have been and yelling out: “But look! He’s climbing out of the wreckage!” 

Virgil can’t let this continue, so he once again looked offscreen in feigned surprise. “What is Mrs. Hotdog doing with that gun? Oh my god! Did Mrs. Hot dog just shoot her husband?” He moved his eyes from one side of the screen to the other, hoping that Logan could make this whole thing look less stupid. “There she goes, fleeing the scene of the crime!”

“No! No! Virgil look! Mr. Hotdog! He’s still alive! He’s crawling away!”

“Why do you do this to me?”


Turns out this whole car crash subplot did nothing but spur on Roman’s stories. The next week told of Mr. Hotdog’s attempts to chase down Mrs. Hotdog. At this point he’s trying to be indifferent, maybe Roman was doing the whole “little sibling thing” where he only does it for a reaction and will stop when he doesn’t get one. 


It doesn’t work. 

Roman must know how much he hates his whole thing because the next week it’s back. This time there’s apparently a mysterious figure following Mrs. Hotdog and her husband. This whole thing is getting worse every week. 

 He promises that next week will be the “thrilling conclusion to the hotdog saga”.

Virgil thanks every god he can think of. 


Roman is a dirty liar. 

He ends next week on a cliffhanger. 

Virgil will never trust a word that comes out of his mouth ever again. 


They’re on a desert island now. 

And they have a kid. 

His name is Brandon. 

Virgil might never be able to eat a hotdog again.


It seems Roman has written himself into a hole. He’s stuck in a story where the wife of the main character shot him, but also has a son with him, which she plans to raise together. 

Now how does he dig himself out of this hole?

An evil twin sister of course.


Mr. Hotdog’s name is Dan. 

Dan is facing off with his wife’s evil twin sister Pam. 

They’re jousting. 

Dan is on a crab.

It’s a crab joust. 

Virgil wants to die.


Roman decides that instead of finishing this hell saga off, he’s going to flash back and tell the entirety of Dan and Rebecca’s love story, stopping every five minutes just to reiterate just how “deep” and “compelling” these characters are. 

And there is a sausage priest who makes bad sausage based puns. 

That might be the worst part of this whole story. 


Roman does another flashback. It’s for the crabs this time. THE FUCKING CRABS. 


“An old warehouse, somewhere on the outskirts of a decaying city. Among the tangled mess of tech, a scientist, Dr. Lisa Bratwurst, sits crumpled on the floor clutching a bottle. Whatever work had been going on here has clearly come to a grinding halt. Dr. Bratwurst is a character so richly drawn that even I, the narrator, and the person sitting next to me, one Mr. Virgil Sanders, are electrified.”

“I hate you”


Virgil thought he couldn’t hate any character more than the sausage priest, but Gene: the “universally beloved” french fries is a strong contender. 


So it turns out that future Brandon travels back in time to stop the crab joust. Virgil doesn't know either. 


There are witches now. Pam the evil twin sister hotdog is now Pam the evil twin sister hotdog witch who hypnotised the crabs into letting her and Dan joust on them. 

Future Brandon unhypnotizes the crabs using the magic words “crabra kadabra”. 

It really gets worse with every installment doesn’t it. 


Pam the evil hotdog witch twin sister gets eaten by a raccoon. 

Baby Brandon gets eaten by Future Brandon so that Future Brandon can stay in the past. 

Virgil wishes that something would come eat him. 


Roman finally ends his hell saga, and Virgil should be happy, except for the fact that he obviously set up a cliffhanger for a second season. Virgil would complain but he had no way to stop it, it totally wasn’t because he actually liked seeing Roman get so happy about his little story. Totally not. It’s only because he has no way to stop it. That’s the only reason, shut up Logan.


And so what started as an innocent hotdog cruising across the screen steadily grew into a full story complete with time travel, hotdog witches, and hypnotised crabs. At first Virgil had thought that the fans would side with him about this whole mess, but apparently their fans are the exact type of people to like this kind of tomfoolery. 

However, this whole hotdog saga did bring something to Virgil’s attention. While surfing social media to see if anyone agreed with him about Roman’s story, he found a bunch of Twitter accounts in, he wouldn’t call it a fight, it was too friendly to be a true fight, but they were arguing over the existence of ghosts. It actually played out similarly to how most of his and Roman’s conversations usually play out. It starts with friendly banter, and eventually turns into shoving evidence in each other’s face that the other person quickly disregards. It was actually really interesting to see play out. 

This wasn’t an isolated incident either. Without either of them noticing their fans have been split down the middle, into two different factions. One one side was the normal people who had a healthy fear of the supernatural, and on the other, were the complete psychopaths who agreed to whatever the hell Roman was doing and probably already had their souls sucked out by a demon they had pissed off. 

When he had told Roman he obviously took it the wrong way. He doesn’t understand how that idiot’s brain works but instead of thinking something rational like ‘maybe I shouldn’t encourage such brash behaviors’ or even ‘that’s a really weird parallel to our own lives’, the exact words that come out of his mouth are: “We should name our fans!” 

Nonetheless, Virgil gave a hesitant nod. It may sound like a stupid idea, but Virgil kind of wants to see where this is going. With Virgil’s encouragement Roman continued, “I’m thinking Roman-tics for mine, and maybe something like Virgil-ants, you know like vigilants but, like, with your name.”

“Why vigilants?” Virgil cocked his head to the side in obvious questioning. Roman’s name wasn’t bad by any means, but he really doesn’t get why. He doesn’t really get Roman’s name for himself either. ‘Roman-tics’ yes, it makes sense for Roman as a person, but not really his online persona nor his fans. In any case it was really Roman’s choice, and if the fans like it then who’s he to judge. 

Virgil is snapped out of his musings by Roman’s explanation. “Vigilant means keeping watch for danger, right? Well, you are always on the careful watch for ghosts so, you know, vigilant. Take that smash it together with your name,” Roman takes his hands and smacks them together, “and there you go!”

Virgil supposes that it could be worse, so he gives Roman an approving nod. “Now that we have all of that figured out we should probably tell the fans...” Virgil sighed, trying to think about when the next filming day is scheduled for. “I think we have filming for our next post mortem on Wednesday, so we can do it then.” Roman smiles and nods, pulling his phone out to schedule a reminder. 

God, he can’t wait to see how this plays out. 


 

So we decided that since fan wars have been going on on Twitter, we should probably name our fans

So for all you rational people who agree with me, think that ghosts are bullshit and aren’t crazy enough to think that the government is run by lizard people

Hey! I don’t believe that!

Sure you don’t. You shall forever more be known as Roman-tics

And those of you who are rational enough to respect the supernatural we have decided on Virgil-ants

We don’t accept any criticisms! Thank you for your continued support.



Capital City Killings Q&A

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Comments (2,136)

 

ScratterBrained

Can you believe these idiots? Naming their fans? They’re so childish, I love them

 

Susie McCarty

If Roman and Virgil fans have a name, then what would we call the fans of Logan and Patton? 

 

Troy Bryant

okay but Roman insulting half of the fanbase is my new kink, like, shame me more daddy

 

Literally12

like if your a romantic 

comment if your a virgilant

edit: thanks for all the likes and comments

 


It was strange seeing how the fans interacted afterwards. They had taken to the names like a fish takes to water, and now every post mortem they were getting questions proudly proclaiming themselves either a Virgil-ant or a Roman-tic. It was almost weird to see how something they do spreads around the internet so fast. 

Virigl’s always known they had a dedicated fan base, both on and off Youtube, it's hard not to when Roman sends you memes of YOURSELF at three in the morning. It’s just that now it's realer than ever. They have a real effect on the lives of some of the billions of people who live on this earth, it's strange to think about. 

Roman was honestly surprised as well. When they had first gone through and seen the audience reaction to their video he had cried, and not pretty tears or whatever, full on sobs. He had ranted for hours about how blessed he felt about all these people who enjoyed their content. Roman crying then made Patton cry, and Patton crying ment Virgil went down next, leaving Logan to stand and stare at them in judgement. Fucking stupid stoic bitch. 

Virgil went to sleep that night, thinking positively about the future for once. The channel is good for mental health, who knew? Maybe they should do something special for the fans… something to figure out in the morning.

Chapter Text

Pride month is almost here, and Roman is very excited. They all were of course, well mostly, Logan’s hardly ever excited by anything, but Roman was a whole new level. He had spent the last week trying to hype up the rest of the crew, and honestly, it worked to an extent. Patton had already agreed to attend a nearby pride parade and Virgil was very close to agreeing to tag along, and let's be real, if the rest of them go, Logan will follow. 

He was currently laying across Virgil and Patton’s laps telling them all about his experience at the celebrations the previous year. No one seemed to be listening to him as he droned on and on, not even Patton was paying attention. Patton seemed too preoccupied with his own thoughts to even pretend that he cared about what Roman was saying. At least Virgil had the decency to at least look at Roman while he was ignoring him. 

Suddenly Patton spoke up, his voice hesitant. “Would you guys mind if we did a coming out video on the channel? I think it would be a great place to start a conversation about the LGBT community.” Patton’s hands traveled down to play with Roman’s hair since his head was still sitting in Patton’s lap. “I mean all of us are part of the community, so I think it would be a way to share more of ourselves with the fans.”

Roman’s head shot up, almost smacking foreheads with Patton. “That’s a great idea! If we start filming soon, we should be able to put it out for the start of pride month.” Virgil could feel the horror pooling in his gut. He hasn't had to formally come out to anyone since the beginning of high school when he had first told his parents. It had been an extremely awkward affair. Virgil had spent the whole day stewing in anxiety over telling his parents only for them to accept him outright and imply that they had already known. Don’t get him wrong, he loves his parents and is immensely grateful that they accept him, but he never ever wants to actually talk to them. 

His coming out with his friends was way more natural, small mistakes and pure happenstance as opposed to outright telling them. Logan was first of course, they lived together after all. He had just come back from an event sponsored by the campus GSA, arms dotted with rainbow stickers and a giant rainbow heart stuck right on his forehead. Logan looked him up and down, then back at his book in a subtle show of acceptance. Logan’s conclusion may have been circumstantial, but it was correct all the same, and he appreciated that silent acceptance much more than any grand gesture. 

Roman was a lot different. He actually just piggybacked off of Roman’s coming out. About a week into their art class that started it all, Roman had been acting strange, and Virgil had decided to just ignore it, that is,  until Roman pulled Virgil to his and Patton’s dorm room after class. There he let Roman give his (incredibly) over the top coming out performance, but when he was done Virgil said a small little “me too” and that was it. Well, maybe not completely Roman still got his case over stealing his coming out, but it was all in good fun. 

Patton was both the most recent, and the easiest. All it took was a well-placed pride flag and a hilarious joke and they went back to their work, and by “well-placed pride flag” he meant a present from his parents he forgot to put away and by “hilarious joke” he, of course, meant a minute of panic followed by a dad joke courtesy of Patton. He thanks Patton every day for his acceptance. 

No matter how well coming out has gone for him so far, telling thousands of strangers on the internet was very different than coming out to your parents and trusted friends. Putting this on the internet is just asking for people to reject him. He’s been lucky so far, and honestly, who's to say when his luck runs out. It’s certainly not him or else he would be on his way to spend his last few dollars on lottery tickets instead of sitting here thinking of ways to tell literal sunshine incarnate no. 

Roman, completely oblivious to Virgil’s hesitation, has turned to Logan so they could discuss filming. His back was turned to Virgil so he couldn’t see Virgil’s silent pleas. Virgil gives Patton a look before speaking up, cutting off Roman’s excited exclamations. “Are you sure about this? What if everyone hates us after we come out?” Virgil doesn’t think that he could handle it if their little online community didn’t accept him, this is one of the best parts of his life, and even though it’s relatively new Virgil couldn’t imagine his life without the channel. 

Roman whipped around to look at Virgil. His eyes were wide as he stared at him. “Oh come on!” Roman whined, the world is so much more accepting nowadays, especially on the internet! Of course, not everyone is gonna accept you, but there will be hundreds that do!” When Virgil remained unconvinced, Roman actually got down on his knees to beg.  “Please? I’m literally begging you right now! Please!”

“I really don’t think I’m ready.” Roman deflates sticking his lower lip out into a pout. “Please Roman, leave it alone.” Virgil just wants Roman to drop it. He was done talking about this, he wasn’t going to change his mind no matter how much whining Roman was going to do. 

“Why won’t you do it? Nothing bad will happen, you don’t have to be so scared of backlash.” Virgil’s panic was steadily being taken over by anger. Anger over the situation, anger at Roman for making it a situation. They need to end this before it escalates into a real fight between the two of them.

Really, all he can hope for now is for Roman to drop it. So he bares his heart out, trying to convince Roman to abandon the idea, leave it in a ditch where it belongs. “Just because you say that doesn’t mean that it's true. You can’t see into the future, and you can’t tell me what is going to happen. Please just stop.”

For half a second Roman looked like he was going to leave everything alone, but then he opened his mouth again. “Just because you can only think about the bad things that could happen, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it. Don’t let the possibility of backlash stop you from being yourself.”

“Really Roman? You know how the world is.” Virgil’s voice started to raise, matching Roman’s volume. “Even if 99% of our fanbase accepted us, that’s still thousands of people who will not.” Roman furrowed his eyebrows in thought, quickly doing the math in his head. “I’m not going to jeopardize one of the best things in my life in a gamble, no matter how low risk you think it is.”

“Virgil, you can’t just hide away from the world, no matter how bad it may be.” They were full-on yelling at each other now. They in each other’s faces leaning over Patton and completely ignoring his pleas to quiet down and have a civil conversation. 

Their back and forth went on for half an hour. Roman would yell at him then Virgil would yell back just as loud. They kept it up until Virgil finally had enough. He stood up with a huff and stomped out of the room. Only turning back to the other three to give Roman a final glare and say “leave it alone. I’m not going to film the fucking video. I’m done talking about this.” He went back into his room and slammed the door with way more force than necessary. 

He could hear Roman loudly complaining about him from the other room, and Patton’s much quieter voice reassuring him. Logan was completely silent, he wasn’t good at emotions, and he certainly wasn’t as good as Patton. He was probably trying to stay as far away from the whole blow up as he possibly could. 

It only took a few more minutes for the telltale sound of the front door slamming closed. Then a few moments later he heard the door open again then close, much quieter. Patton must have left after Roman stormed out. It’s probably for the best anyway, Patton would probably be able to calm him down, show him Virgil’s side. 

He sat in the silence for the next few minutes, willing himself to calm down. The anger that had been bubbling in his gut had decreased into a low simmer. With all the anger gone he started to feel the guilt that had been hidden behind the thick smoke his rage created. Don’t get him wrong, he’s still against the entire idea, but he really could have handled the whole situation better. 

He barely left his room for the next week. This was not the first time that he and Roman had fought. This wasn’t even their worst fight in the past year, but this by far had the biggest fallout. Roman hadn’t come over to the apartment at all during the week, not for their movie night, not for the viewing party of the most recent episode, not even just to hang out. It was complete radio silence from him on text and calls as well. Really the only way that Virgil knew he was still alive was his posts on the Sanders Unsolved twitter page.

He stewed in his feelings of guilt and shame over his actions the entire time he spent in his room. He stayed isolated for days, that is, until he heard a sharp rap at the door, Logan’s signature knock. Vigil got up from his bed and walked up to his door, opening it only a crack. Through the gap he could see Logan’s loungewear, a pair of slacks and a black polo shirt. He didn’t make any moves to come in or break the silence, simply staring down Virgil from the hallway.

It didn’t look like Logan was going to try and break-in, so instead he opened the door wider, inviting Logan in. Logan took one look at the open door and walked in, standing up straight, right next to the only chair in the room. Virgil followed him in, hesitantly sitting across the room on his bed. 

They stared each other down in silence for minutes straight, Logan’s face as straight as his back. Virgil had no idea why Logan was here, he typically gave Virgil his space, so he didn’t know why he was here now. It took a while until Logan broke the silence. “Why don’t you want to film the video?” Logan’s voice was as flat as ever, making his question sounds almost confrontational.

Virgil could feel the anger that had been simmering start to boil once again. “I can’t believe that you’re agreeing with Roman.” His voice was raised, if he was being honest with himself, he felt incredibly betrayed by Logan’s agreement. He had felt that if anyone were to agree with him, it would be Logan. Hell, Logan hadn’t even come out to Roman and Patton yet, and technically hadn’t even come out to Virgil himself, unless you count him implying that he didn’t like women as a coming out.

“I’m not agreeing with Roman in any way.” Logan said. “In fact, I think that the way he handled the entire situation was quite extreme. I’m honestly surprised that we didn’t get any noise complaints from our neighbors.” Virgil didn’t understand what Logan was saying. His tone made it seem like he was disapproving of Virgil, but his words seemed to imply the opposite.

“If you’re not here to try and convince me to film the video then why are you here?” Virgil didn’t really know what to think about Logan, in all honesty, he was a little unsettled. Logan never came to him about anything good. 

Logan looked contemplative, before relaxing. “You helped me when I was at one of my lowest points, and with your help, I worked up the courage to confront my parents and now I’m going to my dream school come next semester.” 

Virgil must have had a strange look on his face because one glance at him and Logan was talking again. “It’s not that big a deal, you helped me back then, and now I’m simply” Logan mimed circles in the air with his hand, “returning the favor.”

Virgil sighed. “Okay,” Virgil started, “how do you plan to help?” No offense to Logan but he wasn’t the most comforting person, but he may be able to give good advice. It was 50/50 really.

“Let’s start with what I was asking before,” Logan stared right into Virgil’s eyes and asked again, “why don’t you want to film the video?” 

Virgil took a minute to organize his thoughts, trying to figure out how to arrange his next sentence. “I...” he stuttered, “I created this channel with you a few months ago, and I have had to build it from the ground up.” Virgil dropped his eyes to the floor, no longer feeling confident enough to look Logan in his eyes. “I haven’t had the channel for long, but if I were to lose it over something so integral to myself, I can’t even imagine what would happen.”

Logan nodded in understanding. “I realize you think that the world will eat you alive if you give it any reason to, but it is a much better place than it was years ago.” Logan heaved a sigh. “I know you aren’t going to believe it because of my words alone. However, by now you must know that I take great effort to always do my research, and in this situation, I believe that you may benefit from it as well.”Logan didn’t linger in his room, the second that he finished his sentence he gave a last quick look at Virgil before walking out, closing the door behind him.

Virgil thought about what Logan had said. Maybe he should take Logan’s advice and take a look at how the internet dealt with other people coming out. The first stuff he found was backlash, but looking deeper, all of it came from the same group of die-hard conservatives in rural Idaho. The more he looked, the more positivity he could find. 

After an hour of watching coming out videos and reading through internet posts, he was starting to come around to the idea that maybe the world wasn’t as bad as he thought. He was actually starting to warm up to doing this thing with Roman. He should probably tell him before Virgil chickens out again. 

He takes a deep breath and taps on Roman’s contact. The dial tone starts and Virgil just prays that Roman picks up. They haven’t talked for a week, and he didn’t know if Roman was willing to speak with him. He waits with bated breath, getting more and more anxious as the dial tone continues. 

Then he hears the phone click, and Roman’s voice comes through the line. His simple greeting just hit home just how upset Roman was. It was honestly a little jarring to hear him without all his usual enthusiasm. They sat in silence for a few minutes until Virgil finally worked up the nerve to speak up. “I’m sorry for the way I acted last week.”

Roman stayed silent for a minute, and with every passing second Virgil’s anxieties grew. This was so stupid of him, why would Roman forgive him after being ignored for a week. Roman’s going to want to shed all traces of Virgil from his life, which means that he can no longer hang out with Patton since they’re so close. Getting rid of Patton means that ⅔ of his friend group is gone, leaving his one and only friend as Logan, and having Logan as your only friend isn’t something one should strive for. 

Virgil was spiraling down and down into his pit of self-loathing when Roman spoke up again. “I forgive you.” Roman takes a deep breath then continues, “I’ve been talking to Patton and he kind of made me realize that I may not have handled the situation the best either, I should have respected your choice. If you don’t want to make the video I’m not about to force you to make the video.” 

“Actually, I talked to Logan, and after doing some thinking of my own,” Virgil took a deep breath, “I’m willing to make the video with you.” 

“Really?” Roman asked, Virgil could practically hear Roman’s smile in his voice.  “That’s great! I’ll be at your apartment first thing tomorrow.” He doesn’t even give a goodbye before hanging up, leaving Virgil alone once again. He should probably tell Logan that Roman was coming over to film tomorrow, Logan definitely wouldn’t like to be surprised like that. 

Virgil stepped outside of his room for what was pretty much the first time in the past week. Stepping into the hallway made him feel like a new man, like he shed all of his previous doubts and worries. He walked out into the living room, head held high, to find Logan and tell him about the filming tomorrow, and if only for a second, he felt excited for the coming day.

Before he knew it, he was sat beside Roman listening to him try and convince Logan to come on screen with them. “Okay but, you’re part of the community too… I think...” The beads around Roman’s neck jingled as he moved around, he had really gone all out with his outfit today. Apparently it was the outfit he was planning to wear to pride this year, facepaint and all. He looked really strange sitting next to Virgil, who was in his normal dark hoodie. 

“Yes, I am in fact asexual, but I’m not going back on screen again,” Logan from where he was setting up the camera, “I need to work the camera anyway.”

“You don’t have to come on camera. Come on! Please?” Roman batted his eyelashes and rested his head on his hands, giving Logan his best impression of puppy dog eyes. Logan didn’t even look at him.

“I guess I could.” Logan stood up, checking the viewfinder one more time before signaling to Patton, telling him that everything is ready on his end. “But,” he says, “I’m not going on camera.”

“Fuck yeah! Let’s get this shit started!” Roman shouted and immediately turned toward the camera, waiting for Logan’s cue. 

The filming was overall uneventful, but as it went on all the confidence he had been feeling before slowly drained away, and by the time that Logan said they were done, Virgil couldn’t even remember why he had agreed to this earlier. He could feel his anxieties over the video steadily growing as they packed up the set and put away the cameras. 

When Roman and Patton finally leave, Virgil takes no time to retreat back into his room. He wants to tell Logan to pull the plug, stop editing and scrap the video, but there must be some small part of him that does want to get it out there since he chooses to hide from the world in his room instead. 

He tries to go to sleep, but his mind is on overdrive. Tomorrow is June, which means tomorrow anyone with an internet connection could watch him bear his soul to the camera. Virgil resigns himself to his fate and tries to get a good night’s sleep.

He wakes up the next day at noon, knowing that the video is no doubt posted, but he can’t bring himself to watch it. Virgil does his best to stay in his room, only coming out to make himself a quick lunch before retreating back into his safe haven. 

He had been planning to spend the next day the exact same, maybe even stay in isolation for the next week if he could, but Roman must have caught wind of his episode since there he was in the early morning pounding on his door and fucking up his plans. 

“Virgil!” More pounding, then he called out again, “Virgil!” Maybe if he stayed silent Roman will think he died in his sleep and leave him alone. “Virgil I know that you’re in there, and I know for a fact that you never lock your doors, so it won’t be very hard to break in.” Shit. Looks like that plan is out the window. 

Virgil groans and does a quick once over of his outfit before deeming it adequate and opening the door to let Roman in. Instead of Roman barging into his room like he thought, Roman took him by the shoulders and led him to the living room. 

When he got there, Roman’s laptop was sitting on their coffee table. Logan and Patton were sitting next to each other drinking out of mugs. Roman led him over to the couch and sat him down next to Patton before shoving them all over to claim room for himself, squeezing onto a couch that was only made for three. Logan was not very happy from his position squished into the armrest, and made sure that Roman knew about it, but Roman just ignored him and pressed play on the video. Virgil was confused for a second before he heard his voice.


 

Hello and welcome to a very special video on our channel.

It’s pride month!

Yes, it’s pride month and we’re here to tell you something very important-

I am in fact gay!

And (chuckles) I’m gay too.

 

The Curious Conundrum of Our Sexualities

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Comments (4,292)

 

JamacianMeCry

I’m so happy that y'all feel comfortable enough with us to come out! I wish you all the best!

 

Hannah Folley

Patton is pansexual? Twinsies!

 

MissSissy

Its so cool to see a group of people prove the fact that the gays flock together 

 

Sydney Smith

I’m proud of you guys for coming out and all, but right now I’m more focused on the fact that Virgil wants to fuck Mothman. Like, I can’t tell if he’s joking or not, its frightening how sincere he sounded 

 


They spend the next hour scrolling through the comment section reading comment after comment showing their support. There were a few comments with ill will, but for the most part, everyone was supportive. 

Virgil may have spent the past week and a half fretting over the video, but in the end, he was happy that he made it. Just seeing how positively their fans reacted to their coming out made him feel so much closer to the fanbase. Seeing some of the comments from fans about coming out themselves or relating to their struggles made him feel almost… proud, of himself for putting this out into the world, and them, for enduring the hardship. 

Virgil was able to sleep well that night, knowing that his fans accepted him for who he was.

Chapter Text

Sanders Unsolved has been growing exponentially over the past week, especially after their coming out video was being shared around Tumblr and Twitter. The official Sanders Unsolved Twitter page was thriving, and Roman took this as a sign that he was a social media god. He would read through as many of the comments as possible and interact with fans as much as he could.

They had reached 700k in the past week and were averaging anywhere from 500k to 1 and a half million views a video. Roman did a special Q&A live stream where he answered questions from their Twitter. The rest of them had flitted in and out from time to time, answering a question here and there but mostly it was him alone, making jokes and answering questions for two hours straight. 

There were some interesting questions too. What’s your middle name? Bastion. Are you scared of anything? No. What superpower would you have? All of them, he would be superman but, you know, better. Favorite pastime? Annoying Virgil. 

His favorite question by far however, was from a viewer an hour into the stream. He got a very sweet comment from a fan who asked about their personal social media. Roman was quick to offer his Instagram, and promised to try and link the rest of the crew’s accounts later. 

The only problem was that he didn’t think that any of the rest of them had social media. Well, Patton probably has a Facebook, the nerd definitely uses LinkedIn, and Panic! At The Everywhere probably still has a Myspace but none of those are acceptable. He will not associate with anyone who uses such cursed apps.

So he, the social media god, decided in all of his social media god-dom that he will take it upon himself to educate his comrades on using social media that isn’t for grandpas or emo teenagers from 2003. He started with Patton, he would be easiest of course, and Roman was never one to start with the hardest option. His own personal motto was “Always start with Patton because he’s nice and won’t kick you out of his apartment or find some way to fuck up the rest of your life with only a single phone call”. 

He called Patton right after he ended the stream. Patton was quick to pick up since even though Patton had already left campus for the summer, the crew was still doing semi-regular get-togethers in order to plan their coming “season two” of visiting supernatural sites. Roman himself will be leaving the dorms later that day, while Logan and Virgil are going to stay in their apartment until the lease is up at the end of July, and probably after that. 

Patton agrees to create a Twitter page with little convincing, and ten minutes later both Roman’s Instagram and Patton’s shiny new Twitter were linked in the description. 


Roman will be eternally grateful for Patton being the sunshine boy that he is because now he had to deal with Hellbeast 1 and Logan, Prince of Darkness and Destroyer of Lives. Might as well start with the lesser of two evils, at least Virgil will only murder him, Logan is much much scarier. He may be five foot nothing but he could instill a healthy fear of god into anyone he came across. 

Approaching Virgil will take careful planning, and a delicate hand. Like approaching a frightened animal. Roman wasn’t really sure how to make an animal trust him, so he looked it up on the internet. Thank you wikihow. 

Step one: Approach the animal slowly. This one will be easy, he was already planning to go over to Virgil’s apartment before he made his drive back home. He knocked on the door, and it didn’t take long for Virgil to open the door and invite him in. Roman carefully walked over to the couch, making sure to give Virgil enough space to sit beside him. He’ll have Virgil approach him, because what’s slower than not moving at all?

Step two: Make yourself seem less threatening. According to wikihow, if he wants Virgil to come to him he’ll need to make himself seem like less of a threat. Roman didn’t think that he was normally very threatening so he decided to just sit as he normally does. Roman watched as Virgil walked over and sat next to him. Step two complete! Now comes the hard part:

Step three: Talk softly. Talking is, of course, the hardest part of his three-step plan. Maybe he should have looked up “how to talk to your friends” as well. He started with a small, “Hey Virgil”, quieter than normal, but not so odd as to alert Virgil of his intentions. They made casual small talk for a while (Roman’s attempt to get Virgil more relaxed), before Roman dropped the bomb. 

“Would you be willing to get social media? Like a personal Twitter or something?” Whatever comfort their usual banter had brought Virgil earlier was all but ripped away, Roman could see it in his face. His casual smile from before was gone, replaced with a somewhat bewildered look. Goddammit, wikihow didn’t prepare him for this. 

Virgil was quick to change the subject after that, and Roman let him, it was probably best not to push. It looks like he just has to keep asking. If Roman knew anything, it was that eventually, everyone reaches a point where they get so annoyed with his persistence that they just give in. It was his greatest weapon. 

So Roman persisted.

The rest of the week was spent inviting Virgil out to places, then once he was effectively trapped by societal convention, Roman would ask about the Twitter page. By Saturday Virgil still hadn’t given in, but Roman could see his resolve waning, maybe one more week and there may be a brand spanking new link on their channel’s Twitter page. Maybe Roman should write his own wikihow article.

He still hadn’t invited Virgil out anywhere yet today, so it wouldn’t be weird if he were to ask him to get coffee right? Plus Virgil would never turn down an offer to get coffee, even though he no doubt already drank more than enough caffeine to keep him up the entire night and then some. 

Roman pulls out his phone and makes a quick call to Virgil, and luckily he quickly agrees. Ten minutes later they found themselves seated in the back of a small coffee shop, drinks in hand. The barista seemed to recognize Virgil which was somewhat scary, especially since she already knew his order. Who gets the same drink every time they go out? Half the fun is trying new and increasingly ridiculous drinks! 

They talk quietly about classes and complain about classwork letting themselves get comfortable in the booths. An hour into their outing Roman felt it safe to start prodding about the Twitter page. Virgil quickly shot him down, more than used to Roman’s particular brand of annoying. He ignored Virgil and started his usual tirade, one that they both knew very well at this point, seeing as he’s already given it a hundred if not seven times already. 

Virgil watched him with a bored expression as he gave his usual run through. Maybe he should get new material, looks like Virgil is tuning him out, and that won’t do. Still Roman persists. “Just think! You’ll be able to connect with the fans one on one, plus you’ll have complete control over the page!” Now Virgil is rolling his eyes, but hey! At least he’s listening. 

Virgil interrupted him, which Roman thought quite rude, but he’ll still hear him out, if only because he is not rude enough to cut someone off.  “I already told you,” Virgil said, “I don’t really have the time to run an entire Twitter account, especially one that people actually follow. I literally just told you how much classwork I have this semester.”

Roman pointed at Virgil accusingly, narrowing his eyes. “That’s bullshit and you know it.” Virgil just shrugged, the cocky bastard. 

Roman opened his mouth, aiming to wipe that smug look off Virgil’s face, but before he could deliver his scathing comeback, he was interrupted by a quiet “excuse me”. Roman turned expecting to find a barista or maybe some stern businesswoman here to tell him to quiet down, but instead, behind him stood a teenage girl. She had a small smile on her face, but her eyes were trained on the ground. 

When she finally looked up, she gave a small wave in greeting, before clearing her throat. “I’m a really big fan of Sanders Unsolved.” Though she looked apprehensive, her voice was clear and confident. She gave the two of them a smile, before continuing, “would you guys mind taking a picture with me?”

Roman was more than happy to take a picture with the teen, and surprisingly, so was Virgil. They stood on either side of her, and let her pull out her phone and take a picture. She was about to put her phone back down when Roman demanded to see the picture. 

As they were looking down at her phone, Roman looking over her shoulder, he started a quiet conversation. He started by asking about her favorite episode and the conversation flowed from there. Virgil stood back for the most part, letting Roman take the lead. He tried his best to answer her questions as they come but didn’t try to interact much past that. 

Virgil was able to get one good question in before his anxiety got the best of him. But you could not imagine the pure satisfaction that came from seeing Roman’s pout when they found out she believed in ghosts. 

Even with her total betrayal of every Roman-tic out there, it was really cool talking to her. Eventually they had invited her to sit with them and speak while they finished their coffee. Though it may seem weird to spend so much time talking to this one random fan, but to be fair, this was the first person they met that recognized them. 

Even though the four of them have amassed a decently large following, a combination of their unassuming appearance (well, Virgil’s) and the relative youth of their channel have kept most from recognizing them in public. I probably didn't help that Virgil usually stays indoors, and when he does, he keeps his head down. 

In any case, it was important for them both to interact with the people who support them. They had a nice time talking together but eventually, the teenager had to leave. Before she left though, she did give them a final goodbye, even giving Roman a hug. 

Before she left she turned back to the two of them. Her shy demeanor from when she had first approached them. “I know that it may seem a bit creepy,” she said quietly, “but I overheard what you guys were talking about earlier.” What even were they talking about earlier? Just classes right? She couldn’t have learned anything too important, right? 

“What did you hear?” Roman gave a little chuckle. He really hopes he didn’t accidentally give away important information, like his social security number, or Webkinz password. That would be a disaster. 

“Well,” she started, “you were trying to convince him to get a Twitter right?” The girl brings her hand up to the back of her neck. “Well, I think it would be cool. A way to interact with fans you know?”

Roman tried to contain his smile. Maybe this is just the push Virgil needs to finally get the page! The girl gave one final smile then meets her ride outside. Roman turns to Virgil, no longer trying to suppress his grin, “so?”

Virgil narrows his eyes, “If I get a social media, I get to choose the site.” Next week a Tumblr link joins the other two on the Sanders Unsolved page. 


No matter how awful dealing with Virgil was, Logan will be much much worse. Virgil can be convinced, Logan can only be bribed, and Roman has already used all his bargaining chips on getting hot dogs into the post mortems. Curse him and his incredibly genius ways of annoying Virgil. 

His first thought was giving Logan another bribe, but he really could not afford that. He was already in the hole thousands of dollars. Logan’s jam addiction doesn’t come cheap. Then he thought, maybe he should just ask politely, sure Logan isn't nice, but at least he’d hear him out. Hypothetically, if he were to give Logan enough logical reasons, Logan would agree, but on the other hand, coming up with logical reasons that suited Logan’s incredibly high standards sounded hard. 

He’s stuck. He has no idea where to go from here. Why is Logan such a hardass? This whole thing wouldn’t be a problem if Logan would just do what he says. Stupid Logan and stupid free will. 

That’s where his plans stayed, stalled at the start. That is until, a very particular question that he had come across while looking through Twitter for their next post mortem. His smile grew as he read the post over and over. This could work. 

His ingenious plan was put into action the next day. He had all the posts that he was going to read on tape, including the one that may get Logan onto his side. He barely kept himself from shaking in excitement as Logan did his countdown. Every number in his count was one second closer to getting Logan a Twitter page. 

He let Virgil go first. Even if he’s excited to finally finish the social media set™, he still needed to hype himself up, because, Logan. Is. Scary. He waits patiently as Virgil speaks, injecting his own thoughts on the question. The most recent episode was on Dudleytown, Cornwall, a cursed village, the most cursed village if you listen to Ed and Loraine Warren, which, who does? He certainly doesn’t. Those two wackadoos are, well, wackadoos. 

He waits until Virgil’s done explaining exactly why he thinks the squeaking in the video was from a ghost instead of just being a mouse, because, why would there be rodents in an abandoned town? Completely ridiculous. Though the second Virgil closes his mouth he jumps on his opportunity. “This next question comes from ten&two on Twitter, ‘Now that we have social media accounts for Roman, Virgil, and Patton, am I to assume that Roman is coming through on his promise to bring the rest of the team to the 21st century? Does this mean Logan’s next?’ That is an interesting question. What do you think Logan?”

Roman makes sure to match Logan’s glare with one of his own, though Roman’s isn’t quite as heated as Logan is. For someone who tries to bury all his emotions under layers of stoicism and blank looks he sure can pack a lot of hate into one look. Roman cocks an eyebrow, still looking into Logan's eyes, “Well?”

“No.”


 

All I’m saying is that Eddy boy and Lorri wasted their entire lives searching for something that doesn’t exist. Why should I trust any of their judgments?

Ed and Lorraine Warren are legends in the supernatural community and you shouldn’t disrespect them in this way. 

Exactly, legends in a community of people who also believe that demons are on earth to kill them or damn them to hell or whatever.

Bring others down to the cursed kingdom with them yes, 

‘Bring others down to the cursed kingdom’ these demons just seem lonely. Maybe they just want friends

If you try and make friends with whatever demon we encounter next I won’t stop the demon, nor Logan when they try to kill you for it

Thanks. Maybe it’ll be beneficial for both of us. Looks like I might need an entirely new group of friends very soon. Maybe I'll get benefits when my demon friend drags me down to hell or whatever.

Stop talking. I hate you. 

 

Dudleytown Q&A

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Comments (3,177)

 

Vinegarbage

I love that Roman has already come to terms with the fact he is no doubt going to hell after all the ghost taunting catches up to him

 

Ashlynn Andrews

I’m here for Roman’s hot takes on the Warrens

 

CarolineCoraline

“I want to know if the devil has like, a suggestion box or whatever.”

If something like that does exist, I can guarantee that 90% of the suggestions are just asking the devil to just hurry up and kill Roman off already, they’re done with his bullshit

 

BitterBittyBaby

Im sorry virgil but there is no way that the squeaking was a ghost the sound was more like the squeaking of shoes plus it was rainy out

 


So plan C may have failed, but plan E will not. (He had immediately dismissed plan D the moment he thought of it. Yes summoning a demon to force Logan to create a Twitter would require little effort on his part, but he wasn’t about to give Virgil the satisfaction.) If confrontation won’t work, maybe he just had to force Logan’s hand. Maybe someone else just has to make the page for him.

That is how the @NerdyWolverine Twitter page was formed. While he knew Logan definitely would have preferred his handle to be his name, Logan Sanders was already taken, so Roman went with the next best thing. He had already linked the page onto the main page, and a few people had already followed when he checked earlier. 

Now the only step left in his genius plan is to dump the page onto Logan. Hopefully, once he hands it over, Logan will feel an obligation to continue running the page. Roman pats himself on the back for his great plan making skills. He’s so smart. Maybe smarter than even Logan, he did outsmart him after all.  

 

Turns out he was too quick to celebrate. Apparently even if you take time out of your day just to make a Twitter page for your dear, dear, friend, they aren’t obligated to accept it. That’s what Logan thinks at least, he’s wrong, of course, but Roman is testing his luck as it is. At this point, Logan’s probably only keeping him alive so he can get free Crofters. Fucker.

The worst part is, people actually started to grow really fast. Like, within a week, the account was already just as big as Patton’s page, and quickly coming for Roman’s title as the most followed crew member. And there wasn’t. Even. A. Single. Post. Whatever deity out there is in charge of social media (because it definitely isn't him at this point) must hate his guts. 

Roman isn’t about to impersonate Logan online, because, for one, Logan had this way of typing that just infuriates him. Like, he uses capitals and punctuation and actual grammar. Disgusting. He may love to read the classics, and he has written a fair amount of fanfiction in his life, but neither of those requires him to have any knowledge of grammar.

Plus, Roman just doesn’t think he could accurately portray Logan. He’s a great actor, but even he had limits. He just knows that impersonating Logan would mean hours of research on all that boring space stuff that Logan likes. He’ll do almost anything for a part, but all that? For a part he won’t be recognized for? No thank you.

So the account just stays empty. It confuses people sure, but coming clean would mean disappointing a bunch of people so he stays silent. Other than the frankly disappointing end to Logan’s account, Roman’s social media crusade was a success. Patton added a lot of the much-needed wholesomeness that they were missing for the longest time, and Virgil’s Tumblr just added one more site for people to interact with them on. Plus, they got sent so many memes from the Tumblr crowd it was amazing. 

He may have failed his ultimate quest, but he did get most of the way there. And hey! 3 out of 4 isn’t that bad. 










Sanders Unsolved @SandersUnsolved

 

The ghoul bois are back and better than ever! Stay tuned for a new season of unsolved coming your way!

Chapter Text

After the first time that they got recognized by the girl in the coffee shop, it just kept happening. They kept getting recognized in public. Well, not all that much, but it still felt like a lot for two people who were new to the whole ‘being semi-famous’ scene. Their online presence keeps on growing and growing as well, and Roman and Virgil could get caught up for hours in a social media spiral that they couldn’t get themselves out of. 

Roman was overjoyed with all this extra attention on him, of course, because he is an attention whore. He was a theater kid in high school, of course he likes having all of the eyes on him. Virgil, on the other hand, wasn’t as stoked with the new development. He was that kid who hid in his favorite teacher’s room during lunch. 

Their attitudes toward social interactions were clearly reflected in their attitudes toward talking to fans. Roman, ever the social butterfly, was always up for long talks with fans. He was constantly saving pictures that fans had shared with him. When contrasted with Roman, Virgil was much more subdued.  He’d stand back and let Roman do most of the interaction. 

While all the extra attention on them was jarring in day to day life was odd, it was even more extreme online. They were getting dozens of messages every day, and there was no doubt even more posted under related hashtags. They would trade memes and fanart back and forth throughout the crew, and make jokes about it during post mortems. 

Though their biggest break came from the most unlikely of places. Surprisingly, it all started with a Buzzfeed article.

It was the early morning when Roman texted him. Virgil had gotten up early so he could finish the research for the next episode. Virgil quickly picked up his phone and held it up to his face. It took a second for his eyes to adjust to the brightness of his lock screen, but eventually he was able to make out the time. 

6:26, so Logan was probably up. The crazy man was always awake by 5:30, whether he had a morning class or not. It’s not as if he actually had a reason to get up in the mornings, he was just a weirdo who really liked his consistent schedules. 

Below the time, Virgil could see the little message preview, Roman’s stupid contact name started back at him as he decided whether to bother with “Princey” so early in the morning. Eventually, and against his better judgement, he put in his passcode so he could see the entire conversation.

 

so i found something interesting earlier

If you send me another bad meme i swear to god i will murder you

its not a meme

its better than a meme

https://www.buzzfeed.com/thecritic/quiz/1I3g6aYEZqeKSTvFsvsx_ZMGi3N4AOutMf

Is...is that a buzzfeed article

yes

Im kind of scared to click on it

just do it theres nothing to be scared of

That doesnt lessen my fears in the slightest

 

No matter how much he snarked at Roman, he was actually curious about the link. Virgil knew that Roman had the bad habit of doing Buzzfeed quizzes well into the night when he couldn’t sleep. More than once he’s been sent an article at one in the morning along with a not so subtle plea to read it. 

Virgil didn’t take any more time to click on the link. He waits for a bit, watching the blank screen as the webpage loads. Logan must be hogging the Wi-Fi. Since the page was taking so long to load, and Virgil was an impatient person, he decided to just leave the computer open on his bed and hopefully the webpage will be up when he comes back from making his coffee.

He stood in the kitchen, watching his mug fill. He made casual conversation with Logan as he waited, apparently Logan was uploading the most recent video and that was why the internet was going so slow. Maybe they should get a better connection, especially since they’ve gotten so popular online. 

Once the coffee machine sputters out the last of his coffee, he picks up the mug and retreats back into his room. He opens his door to a darkened room, the laptop still opened, he could see the screensaver from the doorframe. Virgil takes his time walking into the room, first making his way to his bedside table to put his cup down.

Virgil lifted his computer off of the bed and put it on his lap, making himself comfortable before he inevitably had to get back up again just to smack Roman over whatever he had been sent. Because yes, if its another “What should you major in based on your food preferences?” quiz he will smack Roman. He will never become a history major no matter what Buzzfeed says. 

Virgil turns his head to take a drink of his coffee while playing with the mousepad with his other hand. He could faintly see the screen saver disappear out of the corner of his eye, so he took one last sip from his mug before turning back toward his laptop. It took half a second for his eyes to adjust to the blinding white of the screen, but when once his vision cleared he was finally able to see the title of the quiz. 

 

 

Which Sanders Unsolved Crew Member Are You?

Are you scaring the ghosts or are they scaring you? Take this quiz to find out!



When he read those words he almost did a spit take. If not for the cost of replacing his computer and the lecture that he would inevitably get from Logan if he had ruined his laptop, he would definitely have a lap full of coffee coated computer. 

Virgil wastes no time reaching for his phone, clicking on Roman’s contact information. He scrolls through the page as he waits for Roman to pick up. Virgil only has to wait a few seconds though, Roman picks up almost immediately. “Hey Virgil! Did you look at the link yet? I haven’t taken it yet, but I’m super excited.”

“Is..is this a Buzzfeed quiz? About us?” His voice cracked a little at the end of his sentence, but he was too preoccupied with his computer to care. Roman didn’t comment about it, so he must be really excited too. 

“Yep!” Virgil had already pulled his phone away from his ear on instinct before Roman’s outburst. There’s no way that Roman’s neighbors don’t hate him, especially with how often he yells over the phone. “It’s amazing right?” He continues, “I’m coming over this afternoon, and I’m bringing Patton.”

“Okay?” Virgil was confused, especially since they both were back at their own houses for the break, sure, they lived somewhat close, but the drive still wasn’t something to scoff at. 

“That’s great!” Virgil could practically see the smile he probably had plastered across his stupid face. Virgil thought that seemed like a pretty good place to end the conversation, however confused he may be, but just as he was about to say goodbye, Roman spoke up again.  “Oh! And don’t take the quiz yet.” That just raised more questions, questions that Roman must know he had since he continued, “you’ll see why later, just trust me.”

Then he just hung up, no send-off, no goodbye, he didn’t even tell Virgil when he’d be coming over. One second his ears were being assaulted by Roman’s enthusiastic yelling, then the next, all he hears is the noise of an ended call. He should really get Logan to lecture Roman on proper phone etiquette. 

Speaking of Logan, he really should tell him about Roman’s plans. It would not be Virgil’s mental health (nor Roman’s physical health) to have an angry Logan later morning, and nothing makes him angrier than someone disrupting his circadian rhythm. He is not sitting through another lecture on why humans need proper sleep cycles. 

Virgil closes his laptop and sets it aside, making sure to close out of his tabs first. He could faintly hear the rustling of papers coming from outside his door. That means Logan hasn’t left for work yet. Good. He should probably tell him about Roman sooner rather than later, the earlier you tell Logan about surprise visits the less angry grumbling you get down the road. 

Virgil finds Logan in the kitchen, in the exact same spot he had been sitting before his conversation with Roman. He was sitting with his back to the wall, legs crossed. In his hand sat the weekly newspaper. Virgil knocks on the doorframe as a way to announce his presence, and Logan, in turn, lets his eyes leave his newspaper and looks at Virgil in acknowledgment. 

Virgil gives him a small nod before adding, “Roman’s coming over later, I think he has something planned.” 

Logan lets out a groan, laying the newspaper down flat on the table. “Thanks for telling me. I swear, that kid seems to think he can just show up and do whatever he wants. One of these days I’ll be in a class or something and he’ll have to wait on me.” He continued to grumble, but at that point Virgil had already tuned him out. 

Virgil grabbed an apple from the fridge before walking out, leaving Logan to complain in the kitchen alone. He made himself comfortable in the living room, turning the TV to the History Channel, hoping to waste some time. He stays there for hours, only getting up long enough to throw away his apple core. Logan joined him on the other couch somewhere between the third episode of Pawn Stars and the documentary on King Henry VIII. That was how they spent their day. Virgil deeply engrossed in the TV as Logan silently works on whatever work he has to during summer break .  

Or at least that’s how they spent the day until Roman decided to barge in around noon, Patton in tow. 

“Hey guys!” Roman yelled as a greeting. Both he and Logan immediately whipped their heads up to glare at Roman. There was no reason for him to be loud, they have neighbors for god's sake. Roman at least had the sense to look guilty, but he still continued at a noise level that was still well above acceptable. “I bet you’re wondering why I dropped by so suddenly.”

Logan didn’t let up his glare. “No, I’m wondering why you continue to drop in unannounced and somehow still think that I’ll do whatever you want.” 

Roman raised his hands in a placating manner, even though he must know it’ll do nothing to soothe Logan, “calm down short stack. I’m only here to shoot a video.” 

Virgil took a quick look at Logan to gauge his reaction. Did his eye just twitch? Virgil should probably take the reins away from Logan before he’s tasked with hiding a body. “But Roman, we haven’t prepared a script or set anything up.”

Roman tutted, acting as though Virgil was an idiot for asking a very sensible question thank you very much. “That’s where the link I sent you comes in.” Virgil doesn’t think he likes the conspiratory look on Roman’s face much, nothing good can come of that. 

He once more risks a glance over at Logan, just to make sure that he knows Virgil had no part in Roman’s antics. Roman barges on though, oblivious to Virgil’s plight and Logan’s glare. “I was thinking that we could take it, you know, live on stream.”

Logan’s eye twitch was back in full force. “You.” Logan points an accusing finger at Roman, “expect me, to what? Set up a live stream for you. Even though you have barged into my apartment without telling me you were coming over beforehand.”

Roman nodded, “yeah, that’s pretty much it.” He doesn’t even have the common courtesy to look even slightly ashamed of his actions. He does know that’s a one-way ticket to dying a painful death by the hands of a 5-foot tall nerd. 

Logan dragged his hands down his face before bringing them up to massage his temples. “I’ll do it one more time, but after this, we’re going over pre-production rules.” Logan brings his head up to glare at Roman, “got that.”

Roman nods enthusiastically and starts toward the couch, wedging himself between Virgil and the armrest. Patton followed, but instead of pushing Virgil away from his own armrest like a jackass, he just took a seat on Virgil’s other side, giving them both plenty of room. Logan had gotten up to grab their filming camera and his laptop, returning to set the equipment up.

Surprisingly it didn’t take long for him to set up everything, much less than usual at least. Once everything was set up, he told Roman how he could start his stream and immediately made a beeline to the kitchen. 

Virgil could faintly hear the scraping of chairs being dragged across the floor coming from inside. Oh, so that’s what he’s doing. Logan keeps a secret stash of extra strong coffee in their tallest cabinet, a place that even Virgil couldn’t reach by himself. A few moments later his suspicions were confirmed when he heard the whir of the coffee machine. 

While they waited on Logan to come back, Roman pulled up the quiz, as well as the Twitter page, saying that they could react to memes and stuff on there after they finish with the quiz. They sat patiently, giving Logan enough time to make himself comfortable on his armchair. 

A quick nod from Logan was all Roman needed to start the stream. “Hello everyone! Welcome to a super special surprise stream! Today we’re doing something truly scary, scarier than anything we’ve ever done before. Scarier than the Lizzie Borden house, scarier than any of the ghosts or demons or murders.” 

Roman looks way too into whatever this joke was, so he cut Roman off to say “we’re taking a Buzzfeed quiz”

Roman pouts, but still nods. “We’re taking a Buzzfeed quiz.”


 

This is an outrage!

(wheeze)

An outrage I say! I can’t believe that Buzzfeed thinks I’m (shivers) Logan

Buzzfeed (wheeze) Buzzfeed never lies

Wait wait wait. What does that say

‘Though you seem rather stoic, you’re actually a rather smart and are never phased by something that has a simple explanation’

Stoic? How does Buzzfeed think he’s stoic? You all saw his astrology rants in the blooper reels? That man can’t control his emotions.

Yes Logan, I can see your glare. But remember the camera is on so you can’t murder me right now.

 

We’re Officially Famous (Buzzfeed Says So)

972,863 Views



Comments (4,817)

 

Hiphophap

I’d love to see more live stuff like this, especially with the entire crew. Love the video!

 

SleepyGonzalaz

Roman seems to happy about being acknowledged by buzzfeed its actually kind of sad

 

Shookspeare

I love how patton is the only one who actually gets himself on the quiz, like, everyone else got a different member but patton's just patton 

 

Betty Ann

id like to point out that we could hear a coffee machine at least 4 times during the hour and a half long stream and seeing as logan’s the only one who wasnt on screen it must be him drinking it so like, logan, are you okay?

 


They ended the stream after an hour and a half, the perfect length Roman said. Long enough to interest people in watching, but not so long as to bore people. Virgil will just have to take his word for it, there isn’t exactly the live stream expert in the room. 

They cleaned up a bit, then hung out. There was no point in leaving when they had already made the drive down. Roman of course got a long lecture from Logan. Almost 20 minutes of Logan loudly telling Roman off, and assuring that if Roman ever breaks into his apartment ever again without informing him first, Logan will not hesitate to throw him out.

It was probably about time that Logan snapped. Virgil personally didn’t think he could deal with more of Roman’s antics, and at least now he’ll probably have some kind of warning before being woken by slamming doors in the early morning. 

After about an hour of lounging around, Patton got a call from his parents asking that he be home for dinner. Patton apologized but they understood, Patton had already made plans with his family, they weren’t about to disrespect that. Sadly, Roman also had to leave since they had carpooled, so half an hour and many many loud goodbyes later, it was just Virgil and Logan sat on the couch, exactly like they had been all those hours before. 

It was approaching dinner time, and yes, Virgil did know it was his turn to do the cooking, but he honestly wasn’t feeling up for it. You can’t blame him, he had to deal with Roman for the past few hours, anyone would be tired. Logan looked tired too, all the coffee he had earlier must have worn off. It looks like they’ll have to order takeout.

Virgil stands up from the couch, silently walking into the kitchen to get the takeout menus they keep in there. He picks up a few of them and walks back over to Logan. Logan didn’t seem to notice him walking up. Logan’s eyes were closed, and a limp hand laid over his face, obscuring most of it from view. Virgil held the menus in front of him. “Do you want anything specific?” 

Logan looked up at Virgil then down at the menus, giving a noncommittal hum. “Get whatever you want, I’m not picky.” Virgil nodded, picking up his phone and dialing the number for the nearby pizza place. 

Virgil may have anxiety, but in all honesty, talking over the phone isn’t that bad, sure, he doesn’t go out of his way to do it, but at least he doesn’t have to ever see the other person. He orders a small cheese pizza and gives their apartment number when the worker on the other end asks. 

He never knew what to do when he wanted to end one of these calls, so he just gave a small thank you, and hung up on whatever poor 16 year old had to deal with him for the past five minutes. Virgil took a deep breath then turned back to Logan. “Pizza will be here in 20 minutes.” Logan nodded, sitting up straighter in his armchair. 

Virgil decided to get comfortable as they waited, but not before grabbing his wallet, it was his turn to cook after all, the least he could do is pay for the delivery. Virgil spread out on the couch, setting his wallet down on the coffee table and picking up his phone. 

He scrolls through Tumblr, looking through some of the posts about the earlier live stream. Looks like “Roman’s freakout about getting Logan in the quiz” and “Logan’s coffee addiction” were already becoming fixtures of the fandom along with things like “monster fucker Virgil” and “Patton is literally the purest bean”. It's a wonder how fast people on the internet work.

It was nearing twenty minutes when Virgil saw something that caught his eye. An interesting proposition from someone named Speakseasy. But would he even be able to pull it off? Definitely not without help. But who would be able to pull enough strings? 

Virgil takes a quick look to his right. Logan’s eyes were glued to the pages of his book, completely oblivious to Virgil. He takes a deep breath, then clears his throat to get Logan’s attention. 

“Logan, would you be willing to help me with something?”

Chapter Text

Speakseasy

 

Everyone always praises Roman and Virgil for making the channel what it is, but by their own admission they couldn’t do it without their crew, so I propose a whole day for the most underrated member of the crew. 

Patton appreciation day has officially been scheduled for July 6th

Thank you for your time

 

#SandersUnsolved #PattonSanders #PattonAppriciationDay

9,198 Notes

 


When Virgil had first seen the post, he had been intrigued. What did the fans plan to? This “Patton Appreciation Day” thing was something that Virgil was interested in participating in, but how would he make his ideas into reality?

Turns out you can do almost anything with a little help from your friends. By “a little help” he means he sat back and let Logan do most of the work. Logan’s aid, plus a bit of distracting thanks to Roman brought them to the point they’re at now. 

Roman was driving over to pick Patton up from his house, while Virgil sets up their apartment for filming, and Logan does some finalizing on the plans for later. Virgil had just set up the chairs when he got a call from Roman telling him that the two of them were going to be arriving soon. 

Virgil yelled for Logan, calling him into the living room just to make sure they’ll both be there when Patton arrives. Virgil stands by the door, waiting for Roman’s knock. Luckily, about ten minutes later he could hear Roman’s excited footsteps coming down the hallway. This must be the only time that Virgil’s happy with just how loud Roman is. 

Virgil could hear Roman’s heavy footfalls stop right outside their apartment door and Virgil had to restrain himself from opening the door in excitement. He would have just thrown open the door if not for the fact it would look odd to Patton. Their entire plan rests on Patton thinking it's just like any other filming day. 

Roman starts knocking on the door, and Virgil waits a few seconds before throwing the door open. Patton seemed a little spooked by the sudden action, that could be bad. Just one or two more incidents like that and Patton will be onto them, Patton can almost sniff out changes in behavior from miles away. He’s like a bloodhound, but like, for emotions. He’ll need to be more careful from now on. 

Virgil tries to play off his earlier eagerness, but he can already tell Patton is onto something. That’s okay, he just needs about an hour then the plan will start, and at that point, there’s no reason to continue to keep Patton in the dark. Just one more hour,

Turns out keeping such a big secret, well, a secret for an hour is harder than he thought it would be. It only took a few minutes for Roman to look like all the excess excitement that Roman was keeping would explode right out of him. It wasn’t like Virgil was faring much better. It took two whole minutes of Patton’s concerned stares for Virgil to feel guilty about keeping secrets from Patton, even if said secret was more of a surprise than anything. Luckily, Logan caught onto his plans to confess almost immediately and put a stop to it. Thank god for Logan. He was the only one keeping their plans on track at this point. 

Virgil may want to come clean about Patton Appreciation Day, but he still realized the reason behind making it a surprise so he powered through pre-production and sat anxiously as Patton counted down the start of the episode. Little did he know, Patton wasn’t counting down to an episode of Sanders Unsolved, but in actuality, counting down to the first official Patton Appreciation Day Vlog. 

With Logan and Patton’s go ahead, Virgil takes a deep breath and starts the usual video opening. “Hello and welcome to Sanders Unsolved, a show where we go into haunted locations in an attempt to answer the question: Are ghosts real?”

Virgil can feel Roman waiting excitedly next to him for his turn to speak. They had agreed that Roman would do the reveal, since he had come up with a lot of the activities they’ll be bringing Patton to later. Virgil powered through the rest of the spiel, and nodded to Roman silently queuing him for his lines.

“This week, however, we’re going to be doing something a little bit different.” Patton’s confusion was evident on his face, he hadn’t been told about the change (for obvious reasons), and was looking for confirmation from Logan about the sudden revision. 

Whether Roman was oblivious to Patton’s confusion or just didn’t care, he continued with his lines, “We have been seeing your social media posts about Patton Appreciation Day, and we’ve actually decided to celebrate with the fans!” Patton was stunned, guess their surprise worked, and it felt so good to get it off his chest. Virgil gave Patton a smile as reassurance while Roman finished. “Now, this will come out after the official Patton Appreciation Day is already over, but just know that we were celebrating him at the same time as all you fans were!”

Patton looked close to crying at this point, Virgil really hopes it's from joy and not betrayal. Oh god, what if Patton hates them for doing this? It's certainly not something Virgil would enjoy being sprung onto him. Virgil’s negativity spiral was cut short by Patton stuttering out a quick “th-thank you” and smiling wider than he had been before. 

Roman’s smile matched Patton’s, both in size and overall blinding capabilities. He quickly shot up and skipped over to Patton, Virgil standing and following close behind. “Come on padre, let's go to our first stop for the day.” Roman slung his arm over Patton’s shoulders, leading the other toward the door. 

Virgil looks over to Logan who was starting to pack up their filming equipment so it would be easier to transport from place to place. They’ve got a lot to do this afternoon so quickness was key. “Got the camera?” Virgil asked. Logan nodded and pointed to a camera that he had kept out, just in case they would need to film something on the fly. Virgil picked up the camera and started toward the door, throwing a final “alright then, let’s go meet up with the other two,” over his shoulder.

Their first stop was at the coffee shop a few blocks away from the apartment. While it was within walking distance, they still had to bring the filming equipment with them so they all piled into the car and started the short drive down to the cafe. 

It doesn’t take long for them to arrive, ten minutes at most. The street in front of the shop is full, no parking to be seen. They end up having to park a block away then walk to the cafe. They stand outside the door, subtly pushing Patton to enter first. 

When Patton finally opens the door, he’s greeted by a room full of smiling people, fans. This was Logan’s biggest contribution to Patton Appreciation Day, bringing all these fans to the coffee shop for a meet and greet. Virgil doesn’t know how the hell he was able to organize something like this without alerting Patton to their plans. Especially since he would have to post something online to alert the fans of the event. 

Virgil moved away from all the people crowding around Patton, instead making his way over to the counter to order for the group. He gets a hot chocolate for Patton, assuming that he wouldn’t want any caffeine, and something sugary for Roman. He didn’t really know what the actual drink was, but Roman has no room to complain. Then two black coffees, one for himself and one for Logan. 

He pays for the drink on his own dime, then waits for the order. As he waits, he looks over to Patton. He’s surrounded by fans, some of them are holding papers, probably autographs and fanart. Logan’s staying back, keeping everyone from overwhelming the rest of the crew. Roman was interacting with people who were further down the line, trying to keep them occupied while they waited.

The barista cleared her throat and motioned to the steaming mugs she had placed on the counter. Virgil called out to Roman so he could take his and Logan’s while Virgil brings Patton his hot chocolate. 

Virgil walks over to the table Patton was sitting at, talking excitedly to a girl about his age. He slides Patton’s drink across the table, sitting next to him as he sips on his coffee. He’s mostly silent as Patton interacts with fans, only adding his input when he’s specifically asked to. 

It was wild seeing how Patton interacts with the fans. As opposed to Virgil’s awkward almost one-sided conversations and Roman’s excitable nature, Patton conducts his in a way that is almost reminiscent of old friends meeting after months apart. That's something that Virgil always liked about Patton, his familiarity. His ability to talk to people so easily and put others at ease.

He’ll make a good teacher Virgil thinks. He knows that he’s aiming for younger kids, elementary age, and yes, Virgil thinks that Patton would be great with kindergarteners, but when he sees the way Patton reacts to the fans, he thinks maybe he should aim a little older. Most of the kids he’s meeting are in high school, or at least they look about that old, and Patton’s talking to them comfortably. Teenagers are hard to talk to, Virgil should know, he was especially prickly back in high school. 

About an hour, and another round of coffee later they finally finish the meet and greet. Patton walks away with a pile full of fanart and sore fingers from signing autographs. Roman, Patton, and Virgil all went ahead to fetch the car while Logan stayed inside to talk to the cafe owner. The street in front of the cafe was almost empty at that point, all the fans had already left so it was easy to find a place to park while they waited for Logan. 

Patton looked incredibly happy with how the day turned out looking through the fanart he received over and over again as he continually thanked them for setting the event up for him. Virgil smirked from where he sat in the passenger seat going through the footage they had just filmed. Patton really has no idea what's coming, does he? Like they would organize a fan greeting and call it quits, no, today is Patton Appreciation Day and they will be celebrating to the fullest. 

It's not long until Logan rejoins them sitting next to Patton in the backseat. Once Logan was buckled in they were off to the next step of their plan. This next stop was a little further from the city, about twenty minutes, and in the complete opposite direction of their apartment. 

Roman was only able to play it off as a wrong turn for about half a minute before Patton caught onto their scheme. “Where are you taking me now?” He asked, “the apartment is the other way. You guys know my parents expect me home by 6 right?”

Roman let out a laugh from the driver’s seat. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about that. I talked to your parents earlier, they already know you're not coming home until late.” 

Patton looked confused for a second before asking, “my parents knew about this? And they didn’t tell me?” Telling Patton’s parents was a gamble to be sure. They were nice people of course, but neither of them were very good at keeping secrets. Virgil still remembers the time they had tried to surprise Patton at his house only for them to show up to a full buffet. Turns out his mom had accidentally given the whole plan up at dinner the day before. 

Luckily it seems the surprise was kept secret, and Patton still has no idea what’s coming. Virgil wonders what Roman had said to get them to keep everything under wraps. “Of course they did! Your parents love me, especially your mom. She’s so nice, I can’t believe how surprised she sounds every time I say it.” Oh. Looks like he just buttered them up til they forgot. But really, who cares? Just as long as the plan is still in place. 

They partake in casual conversation until they reach their destination, a small animal shelter at the edge of town. The owners had given them permission to film just so long as they were respectful of the volunteers who were taking care of the other animals. 

When Patton saw where they were headed, he could barely sit still. If not for the gifts in his lap, he might have actually gotten out before the car had even stopped. Thankfully, the parking lot was mostly empty and Roman was able to find a parking spot incredibly easily. 

Once they were stationary, Patton immediately (and gently) shoved all the stuff that had previously been piled up on his lap onto the seat beside him. It seemed like it only took a second for Patton to race to the door, he was standing there, waiting for everyone else to catch up to him. Roman reached the door first, leaving Virgil and Logan behind at the car to bring in all the supplies they had brought. 

Roman must have taken Patton in already because they were nowhere to be found. The receptionist who sat in the front pointed them back into the kennels. Logan took the lead and opened the door, Virgil could barely see past the box of filming equipment that he was holding, but he could just barely see Patton, already sitting on the floor, dog in his lap. 

Virgil could feel a nudging at his leg and looked down to find a small puppy that must have broken free from Patton’s grasp. Virgil smiled and dropped the box by Logan’s feet for him to unpack before picking up the dog and walking over to Patton, puppy in hand. 

He handed the puppy off to Patton and joined Roman on the other side of the room. Their position gave them a great view of not only Patton playing with the animals, but also Logan who was on the other side of the room setting up their filming equipment. 

They let Patton play for a bit without disturbing him at all, but about an hour later Loan must have decided they had enough footage of just the puppies and he decided to put the next phase of their plan into action. 

Logan quietly slid the box he had been sitting next to him over to Patton. Virgil knew that Patton would love what was inside. Virgil could see the second Patton realized what was in the box. His smile grew as he pulled out some dog treats and toys for the puppies. The three of them had specifically asked what toys the shelter would want. They were planning to leave all the toys at the shelter when they leave, it's not like they had any use for them.

Patton took great delight in feeding the various dogs treats and playing tug of war with the puppies. The dogs must have sensed how energetic Patton was because they returned all his play with great delight. 

They were eventually kicked out of the shelter, but only after hours of play. Roman and Virgil even joined in for a bit, Virgil even swore he saw Logan petting a dog that had strayed from the group and sat himself down next to the camera. I was a weird sight in all honesty. 

Overall though, it seemed as though everyone was satisfied by how Patton Appreciation Day had gone so far, which brings them into stage three of the plan. While the meet and greet had been mostly Logan’s doing, and the dog shelter had been Roman’s idea, step three was all Virgil. 

Virgil was so excited about his part of the plan that he even offered to drive, something he usually tried to avoid. Sure, Virgil wasn’t that bad a driver, but he was still gay, and he would rather avoid an accident thank you. 

They drove half an hour back to their apartment, and by the time they were back in the city it was already pretty dark out. The dark didn’t put a damper on any of their spirits as they shuffled back to the apartment. 

Virgil decided to let Roman lead Patton over to the couch as Virgil walked into the kitchen, starting to collect all the snacks that he had hidden away earlier in the week. Logan walked in behind him, taking the microwave popcorn bag and taking it upon himself to make it as he waits for water to boil, probably for tea. 

Virgil took his time bringing in the piles of candy and chips that he had stacked in his arms. He dumps all the snacks onto the table in front of Patton, Roman was by the TV, fiddling with the DVD player. It was something that Virgil had brought with him when he had first moved into the apartment. It was ancient, something Virgil’s had since childhood so it just acted up sometimes. 

Roman was trying to play a movie that they had borrowed from a kid in his English class, Emile or something. A movie that Virgil knows Patton loves. Roman fiddles with the TV a bit more until Logan rejoins them carrying a mug in one hand and a giant bowl of popcorn in the other. 

Logan places the bowl on the table as Roman finally gets the DVD to work. Virgil leans over to flick off the light as the television screen brightens into the colorful world of Winnie the Pooh. Patton’s smile grows as he sings along to the opening credits. 

Virgil settles in next to Roman, leaning into his friend. Roman reaches around him to steal some of the snacks that Patton was holding. Logan had already taken root in his armchair, his laptop’s brightness turned all the way down so as not to disturb the rest of them. 

By the end of the night, they were left with an empty bowl and various wrappers thrown around the room. Roman is all but passed out on the couch and Patton isn’t far behind. Even though he was practically asleep at that point, Patton still sat up from the floor to lay himself over Virgil and Roman in an awkward attempt at a hug. 

“Thanks guys, you know, for doing all this for me.” Patton’s voice was muffled by Roman’s shoulder, but Virgil was still able to make out what he was saying. The position may have been a bit uncomfortable for everyone involved, but no one made any attempt to move, instead just relishing the touch.

It took a while, but they finally untangled themselves from each other long enough to get into a more comfortable position. Though they likely should make their way home soon, it’s probably for the best that they stay the night. Virgil lets himself drift off into sleep, thinking about how successful the day was. 

Sure, they have hours of film to sort through and Logan will no doubt have the rest of them do it, and yeah, the video still has yet to be uploaded to the channel. Even beyond that, the future is uncertain, but right now, as Patton Appreciation Day winds to a close, Virgil is happy just being near his friends.