There are rumours about the King of Hell that humans like to circulate.
They say he rules Hell with an iron fist and spares no mercy, not even to his most loyal subjects.
They say he goes through demons, men, quicker than souls pour into Hell. Barely anyone ever sees him, and they assume he's locked in his room fucking whatever piece of ass he's taken to this time. They say he'll tie you up and fuck any part of you that he can, that you're only a toy for his pleasure.
They say he'll throw you into Hellfire and watch you burn in agony if you don't give him what he wants. They say defiance leads to being locked up and tortured until you wish you could die again. They say you'll lose your limbs one by one and your senses will disappear until you are nothing but a void, and he'll put you back, piece by piece, and the pain will make you wish you were never alive.
Kurt has heard these rumours all his life.
It isn't until he's 29 and realizes that none of them are true.
Not even close.
He was out for a walk that night.
His father's funeral was earlier that day. He had to deal with relatives that he hadn't seen or heard from since his mother died. He had to shake their hands and receive their hugs and listen to them say "I'm so sorry for your loss" more times than he could count.
When he made it back home, he felt his skin crawl. He couldn't deal with the silence, especially that day. He couldn't deal with the lack of a game on the television or the thud of a mug being placed on the coffee table. He couldn't deal with not having to scold his dad for sneaking chips or getting worked up over a dumb play the team made.
It had been a month since his father's death, and he couldn't deal with it that day.
He moved back home to take care of his father when he suffered another heart attack. In the process, he isolated himself and lost touch with everyone. He spent months with his father, and he was fine. He was content. His father was the most important person in his life, and he doesn't regret putting everything on pause for him.
But he didn't know how to start back up.
He left his house and started walking around the neighbourhood. It was dark, and he really shouldn't have been out, but what else was he going to do? He circled the park that's a few blocks away from his house before heading back. He was lost in his thoughts, simply going through the motions.
That was a mistake.
He didn't even manage to scream before a hand came over his mouth and he lost consciousness.
He woke up in a basement, his hands cuffed behind a pole. He was in his suit from the funeral, but the top buttons were undone, and he felt a sheen of sweat all across his body.
His first thought was that he felt disgusting.
His second thought was fuck.
He panicked for a good hour or so before he came to the conclusion that he couldn't do anything. His phone wasn't in his pocket, and he had no clue where he was. He didn't have anyone waiting for him or looking for him; no one was going to notice.
Kurt was going to die, and no one was going to know.
He wasn't sure how much time passed before he heard people talking from above. He heard the door open, and the thudding feet that made their way down the steps. He looked up and was met with someone who he recognized as the mailman, and the most beautiful person he had ever seen.
Fuck, of course he was going to be killed by some hot guy.
"This is him?"
"Yeah. Pretty sure he's as innocent as you can get. He was a bit of a brat, but he's not too bad now. His dad died, so no one's gonna miss him anyway."
He felt his eyes on him. There was a sense of curiosity there, and Kurt didn't feel scared or disgusted. He felt calm.
"Y'know, I don't really do contract extensions."
"What do you mean? The guy who's been seeing me always gives me an extension. An innocent soul for an extra six years."
"Well, I guess I'll have to have a talk with whoever was handling your case. Your time is up though."
"Fuck you, man! I have a soul right here; can't you just give me the fucking extension?"
"Mr. Williams, your soul should have been collected 18 years ago. I am simply here to make sure you pay your dues. And judging by the situation, I should have been here earlier."
"You have no right to go back on your wor-"
His words were cut off with a gasp as a hand closed around his throat, and he was pushed up against a wall.
"You're mistaken. That was not under my word, and extensions do not exist under my rule. That's right, my rule. So, Mr. Williams, I believe it's time to go."
A bracelet was clipped onto his left hand, and his body disappeared and revealed a single orb in its place. The man picked up the orb and placed it into a pouch before he turned his attention to Kurt.
"I'm sorry about that. My name's Blaine."
"Kurt," he whispered.
He crouched down to undo the cuffs and pulled Kurt up onto his feet. He reached out his hands to gently steady him when he wobbled, and he gave a small smile in thanks.
"Do you need me to take you home?"
His mouth parted to give an answer, but he hesitated and shook his head.
"Do you want to go home?"
He shook his head.
"Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know."
He felt his chest ache, and his eyes welled up. He didn't have anywhere to go, anything to do. He was alone.
"Hey." He looked up into Blaine's eyes and was met with a soft kindness that helped calm him down.
"I have an idea. You don't have to agree to it. You'll just have to trust me, and I know that's a lot to ask for, and you probably won't and this might just be too much, but-"
"I trust you. I don't know why, but I do."
Blaine smiled and grabbed his hands to place a gentle kiss on his knuckles.
"Okay. What do you think about coming to Hell with me?"
He's 29 when he finds himself dead and in Hell.
It turns out you can't really be alive and be in Hell long-term, but he's also not dead in the traditional sense. He's definitely no longer alive on Earth, but he has more privileges in Hell than the dead do.
When he arrived, Blaine gave him his own room and time to recover from the transition.
"Anything you need, Kurt. Anything at all," he offered.
A few months in, based on the calendar Blaine put in his room, he gradually adjusted and actively sought out Blaine.
Blaine is happy to see him and spends the entire day giving him a tour and walking him through Hell. Kurt is surprised to find out it's not just layers and layers of torture, but a relatively calm place. People are dealt with accordingly in specific departments, but the demons are kind, and it feels like any positive work environment.
(Except, of course, the occasional demons that want to cause more chaos on Earth than what already exists. They end up tortured as well.)
After that, Kurt spends more time with Blaine. They eat together and watch tv and play games. Sometimes Blaine will take Kurt with him during Collections and let him explore and wander around wherever they are. Blaine tries not to expose Kurt to the horrors of his job and keeps him away from the souls he has to collect, but Kurt is stubborn and comes along for the Collections anyway.
Kurt teaches Blaine more about humans and their quirks, and Blaine teaches Kurt about the afterlife and its processes. They spend every moment of every day together.
They become inseparable.
It's a year after Kurt arrives in Hell when they kiss for the first time.
He's asking Blaine for his opinion on a coat he's designing for him for a council meeting when Blaine cups his face in his hands and kisses him.
He freezes in shock before moving his lips in return. He lets out a moan when Blaine nips his bottom lip, and they pull away before things can progress. His face is warm, but he can see a hint of a flush on Blaine's face and feels giddy at the thought of having an effect on him too.
"I never want to stop kissing you."
"Well, come back here then."
He doesn't really get much work done on the coat after that.
Everyone knows Kurt.
They knew him as that human that the King brought over.
They knew him as the King's closest friend and confidant.
Now, they know him as the King's lover and partner.
He rules alongside Blaine, providing insight and a human perspective. They do Collections together and sometimes separately as well. They spend their evening together too, with Blaine's arms wrapped around Kurt and his bare chest pressed against his bare back.
He's known and beloved by the demons in Hell, and even those in Heaven have taken a liking towards him.
It's a life with a love he never thought, never imagined, he could have, but he would never give it up. It's an unconventional life, but it's one they share together.
Kurt was 29 and dead when he learned that the King of Hell was nothing like the rumours he heard.
He's gentle and beautiful in every way imaginable. He puts his duties above his own pleasures, and he takes sex and love seriously.
He helps people when he can, and he rules Hell with kindness and fairness.
He is the love of his life, and they have eternity to spend together.