Felix didn't believe in ghosts. It was hard to blame anyone else for the noises that came from the other side of his bedchamber wall. Because that's where Dimitri was. It was a strange, different noise he made today. Felix didn't know why he decided to investigate. It shouldn't be any different than the other times.
But it was. He sounded hurt somehow. His breathing was labored and strained. He'd really thought he'd been doing better lately. Felix was already halfway to the door when he heard Dimitri groaning and gasping.
Felix stood at the door, reluctant to knock. Dimitri wouldn't want his help. If he broke something or was hurting himself, it wouldn't be good either. He weighed his options, wavering by the door.
When he heard Dimitri moaning something. It finally dawned on him and he sighed in response. Felix had spent enough time around Sylvain to recognize the noises. Dimitri was moaning. In pleasure. Little gasps and hums of contentment.
Felix stood by the door. Stunned at the fact that Dimitri would or could be someone who would have sex like this.
He bit his lip. Something welled up uncomfortably in his throat. But it didn't stop there. The sounds made an image come to his mind that he hadn't ever wanted to visualize. Dimitri hunched over, touching someone else. Trying to find happiness in someone else's touch. How dare he.
Felix briefly tries to insist that he doesn't care. His thoughts are an angry jumble. And most alarmingly, the fact that he doesn't want to just picture Dimitri. He wants to see him in person. Jealousy? No Felix has nothing to be jealous of. The only feeling he should have is one of annoyance that Dimitri is keeping him awake.
He hears another sound. One that he hasn't made. The noises from before stop.
And before he can move, or make himself move, as stupid as his body is being.
The door swings open. A disheveled looking Dimitri stands before him. His eye narrowed and focused on Felix.
Felix who is still standing there. Now unsure as to what is actually happening.
" Felix," Dimitri practically yells. His voice is raw and it snaps Felix out of whatever strange trance he seemed to have entered. He's angry, sad, and while he wouldn't ever admit to any of these emotions at all, he's aroused.
The bulge growing in his pants seems to indicate otherwise. Hopefully, Dimitri can't see that."
Felix gulps and then remembers to breathe.
" Sh-shut up," he whispers. Looking past Dimitri and not seeing anyone else. The undeniable relief he feels because of it. Before looking at Dimitri again.
His shirt is still on but it's crumpled. Felix stares down at his pants. Barely pulled over his waist. Seeing Dimitri like this, he can't help but think of the other man in more compromising positions. He looks away. They both do, frantically, as the situation unfolds. Felix doesn't want to think about how badly he's blushing.
Felix thinks he hears someone coming. Or maybe he's just imagining it. He wants to imagine it because the next thing he knows he's pushing Dimitri through the door and shutting it behind him.
" There's no one else here," he says stupidly. Thank the gods, Felix thinks. He was only masturbating.
Dimitri shakes his head and touches Felix. He doesn't move back and Felix finds it impossible to at the moment. Dimitri looks relieved for a moment and then his eye narrows and his breath hitches like he's seeing him for the first time.
He touches Felix's arm and yet again the swordsman forgets how to breathe.
Dimitri practically mutters into his ear. " You're real."
Felix's eyes widen at the stupid comment. It takes him a second to process it, then another to actually respond.
" Of…. of course I'm real, Boar. What are you-"
" Oh gods," Dimitri mutters. He moves a step back like he's afraid.
Felix is both relieved and upset.
" You... heard that?"
" Yes. I heard it," he tries to sound annoyed but his voice is too high pitched.
He coughs, before speaking again.
" You were keeping me awake and I was wor- You sounded like you were dying. But you weren't."
Dimitri blushes. Felix has to look from the floor and squint to see it, so he immediately looks back down.
" Felix I am so sorry. Oh, gods I-"
" Whatever. Save it. Just be quiet next time."
"Did you… not hear all of it?"
" No, just your loud grunting." He really has to stop staring down at Dimitri's pants. The lack of small clothes and beads of sweat. Felix makes another continuous effort to stare at the ground
Dimitri bites his lip. Felix thinks he's about to draw blood. "Nevermind, then" he mutters.
"Tell me, Boar." Felix demands. Getting closer. Because he can't stop himself. He can't back down now. He isn't sure what he's actually backing down from.
Dimitri looks away sheepishly.
" It was really nothing. I am sorry for disturbing your slumber with my noise."
Felix is not convinced. He blurts out.
"You were touching yourself, weren't you?"
Dimitri's eye widens in alarm. His mouth hangs open but he doesn't say anything
" Because there isn't anyone else here," Felix continues.
Dimitri sort of grunts in response. Felix doesn't know why he's asking about it. Why does he even care? No, he's convinced that he doesn't. Yet he's still standing there
Finally, Felix wills himself to turn away.
"Next time be quiet. Gods you're getting to be as irritating as Sylvain."
He stomps over to the door. Head pounding, heart beating furiously in his chest. But it doesn't matter. Felix just wants to get some sleep. Not that he's able to get any. He spends the rest of the night thinking about Dimitri.
Felix spends the next day thinking about Dimitri. He wishes the day would go by quickly. Because all he can think about is Dimitri. Moaning and touching himself in the middle of the night. Why would he think that it's acceptable behavior with him right next door? Why can't Felix stop thinking about it?
Thoughts continue to cloud his mind. Erotic and intrusive. It wasn't as if Dimitri was unattractive. That his noises were so appalling that Felix didn't want to hear them. Still, they bother him so.
He's barely able to train or focus on anything all day. The swordsman throws himself into his work the best he can.
It's a relief when it's finally over. When Felix stalks his way back to his room at night, he's exhausted. And in this position, laying on his stomach thinking of Dimitri he can't sleep tonight either.
It's like torture, and it keeps getting worse because of what Felix hears next.
It almost feels like a dream when he hears Dimitri moaning again. Someone needs to put this to an end before it gets out of hand. The whole army doesn't need to hear Dimitri moaning like some insatiable slut. There are plenty of unoccupied rooms all over Garreg Mach. Why did Dimitri need to do this to Felix
He jumps up out of bed and stomps out of his room and towards Dimitris.
Felix can hear the moans. An irrational thought tells him that he'd like to be the one causing them. He pushes it away and gulps. Hovering near the door.
He hears Dimitri and it's sort of just muffled moans. The sound of fabric swishing. A hand pumping back and forth in the darkness. Felix pauses to listen. He can almost see it. The lewd actions taking place in the dark. And he reacts to it, despite himself. Even though he should know better.
" Mmm," Dimitri moans. " Felix… Felix, please. I'm…. ah… I'm going to- ngh."
Felix's eyes widened at the mention of his name. The fact that it's coming from Dimitri's lips. He
continues to stand there. Listening intently. Why is Dimitri muttering his name? He panics. Did the door open somehow, he wonders. No, and he feels stupid for thinking that it is.
And why is he so nervous? So excited?
Whatever this feeling is, he doesn't like it.
The only thing that separates Felix from seeing Dimitri is this frail wood door.
His breath hitches as Dimitri growls and then quits. What must the face he makes when he orgasms look like? Felix can't help but wonder. Even though he knows he should leave before someone sees him. Before Dimitri notices and he never gets to hear the noises again.
Even though he'd rather be the one causing them then listening in like an outsider.
He presses his ear against the door. Letting the inappropriate thoughts in his head die out. Dimitri couldn't be moaning his name. Why would he?
Felix turns around again and tries to sleep. Obviously, he can't. Fumbling around in the dark, much more quietly than Dimitri can apparently, Felix touches himself. The omission that he is horny is almost overwhelming. Pumping back and forth, biting on his shirt sleeve to stay quiet. Irritatingly enough, still thinking of Dimitri. It only takes a little time for him to cum. Silently into his sheets, before rolling over and pretending it never happened.
When Felix wakes up, Dimitri is there, of course. But Felix can hardly look at him. How can he after all the things he's heard, imagined. All the things that he's done? He pretends that everything is normal, because, eventually it will be. This can't go on for much longer.
He can barely bring himself to speak to Dimitri with the usual bite in his voice. Without a flush on his pale skin. If this goes on any longer he's going to break. Byleth asks if he's alright. Mercedes thinks he's sick. Sylvain asks him if he has a case of the vapors and he nearly punches him in the throat. He insists that he's fine to everyone. And in truth he is fine. It's just that he's stupid. Getting worked up over sounds in the middle of the night.
Dimitri barely says anything different then what he usually says. Felix starts to wonder if this was all some sort of elaborate dream. If the sounds were just a figment of his imagination.
Sounds that he starts to listen out for each night. Surprisingly, he doesn't hear them tonight. Or the night after. Felix thinks he should be relieved. He is. In the back of his mind, he misses the noises
Another week passes. Then another. It's just when Felix decides to put everything behind him when he hears moans coming from the other side of the wall.
Felix practically springs out of bed. He runs to the door. This might be his last chance. Gods but his last chance at what exactly? He doesn't know. He doesn't think. And when he leans on the door to listen, it sort of just gives way and he falls into Dimitri's room with a thud.
He jumps quickly to his knees. The door shut behind him as he does. His taken worse falls than this of course. But when he looks up and sees Dimitri staring at him from across the room, it knocks all the wind out of him.
Across the room, Dimitri sits with his back pressed up against the wall. Clothes disheveled, hair a mess, cheeks flushed. Pants pulled down just enough to expose his cock and his hand that must have stopped in mid-stroke. His shirt rides up slightly to reveal taunt and firm muscle. Felix wants to rip off all of Dimitri's clothes now.
Felix leans forward stupidly, his eyes wide and his breathing shallow. This is exactly what Felix wants to see. Even though he can't admit it to anyone else.
" Boar," he says, standing up. His voice is rougher then he'd like it to be. He starts to walk over. Dimitri's hand is still covering his hard cock. It's huge and slick with liquid. Felix gulps again. His voice nearly shakes when he talks again.
" Dimitri… were you… were you thinking about me when you do that?"
He feels stupid for asking. What if Dimitri says no? And why does Felix care so much if he is? He groans, unable to push his thoughts of arousal back any longer. Anxiety hangs around him with each passing second. Felix is suddenly so afraid.
There was a reason he'd never acknowledged these feelings before. More than one, really. It would hurt too much to risk it if he was turned down.
Dimitri looks at the ground. His mouth is hanging open in a mix of surprise and arousal. " I… Felix I'm sorry. I didn't think you were listening."
Felix gets closer. Forces his gaze not to drift from Dimitri's face. " Is that a yes?"
Dimitri closes his mouth. He starts fiddling with his clothes. Tries to pull the blankets that have fallen from his bed towards him. Felix doesn't want that."
" You didn't ask last time," Dimitri whispers
Felix grabs his arm. " I need to know." Even though he'd only asked if Dimitri wanted Felix to touch him. He was too afraid to ask the other question. To say the words that he thought and felt. That he loved Dimitri
" Yes. "I've… thought about you for quite some time… Since I… since I first got the urge to do… this. Years ago."
Now Felix stares with his own mouth open. Dimitri has felt this way for years. He doesn't know what to say. So he's glad that Dimitri keeps talking, even though his words make him want to explode.
Dimitri is too close. His words are too raw. Dripping with emotion and arousal. Felix can smell it. Neatly taste it on his tongue. If he were to bring his head lower. Take Dimitri in his mouth as he has in some of his dreams.
He's being stupid again. Foolish and horny. They don't have time for this. They're fighting a war, after all.
" I'm sorry Felix. Lately… Lately, I can't seem to keep quiet about you. When we were children it was different. But now… for some reason, I can't-"
Felix crouches down, trying his best to stay calm. " If I touch you, will it shut you up? Will it keep you quiet?"
" I- I want you to. But I doubt that it will."
"Then I'll … I'll have to shut you up somehow."
Dimitri leans forward and kisses him. Felix's eyes widen but he lets it happen. Leans into it against his better judgment. Feels Dimitri's tongue forces its way inside. Felix tries to stifle a moan and he falls embarrassingly. Dimitri pulls him closer. Wraps his hands around Felix's waist. He can feel Dimitri's cock pressing into his stomach. He wants to press it into other things instead.
It's stupid to even care about but this is the first time Felix has ever kissed anyone. He's never felt the need to before. This is so sudden. Even though he's dreamt of it before. Fantasized, even. Kissing, romance, love. They all seem so overrated. Yet he wants it more and more. Even though he's suddenly very much out of his element.
Felix doesn't really know what he's doing. Dimitri doesn't seem to be much better. There is too much sucking, biting. Moans and grinding up against each other.
Still, as they continue, as Felix's heart beats too fast and his breath grows shallow. As his own cock gets hard and his own moans get swallowed up by Dimitri and his ravenous kissing. Felix doesn't want to ever stop.
" Felix… I want you… For a long time, I've felt this way and I… I love you."
" Ugh, why do you have to say that now? It's really-" It's really embarrassing. Felix bites his lip but in the end, he wills the words to come back out before he can think to take them back.
" I love you too. Even though you're stupid." I... suppose I'll try to help you."
" Thank you."
" You don't need to thank me… I want… this too, you know."
Felix moves slightly even though Dimitri barely loosens his grip. His hand travels down Dimitri's stomach until he's touching his cock. Felix stifles another moan. Dimitri doesn't. He practically growls in his ear.
" It can't feel that good," Felix says before he thinks better of it.
" It… it does," Dimitri replies with a fervorous nod.
Felix rolls his eyes. But he continues anyway. The only things he knows how to do are from when he gets himself off in the middle of the night at times. Quick and efficient. Rarely. Though irritatingly more frequently thanks to Dimitri's antics. He'd always tried to keep his hormones in check. It was the last thing he wanted to worry about.
Yet here he was now. Here they both were.
Felix starts to rub his hand up and down the shaft slowly. Glancing up at Dimitri's reaction. His mouth is open slightly. He looks pleased. Content. Felix barely understands himself but he isn't going to give up.
It feels kind of good to do this for him. Yet he wants to draw those deep frantic moans from Dimitri's lips.
He wonders if he should use his mouth. He's heard about people doing that sort of thing. Licking his lips self consciously, he wonders if he could even get his mouth around Dimitri's cock.
He isn't one to lose.
" I'm going to suck it," he states quietly. Squaring his shoulders.
" Don't force yourself," Dimitri whispers.
Felix dives in anyway. One hand wrapped firmly around the base. The other steadying himself, keeping him from falling. He takes the tip of it in his mouth. It's hot and it tastes better than Felix would ever admit.
Dimitri moans. His huge beastly hand tugs at Felix's hair. Which causes Felix to moan against Dimitri's cock. Which causes Dimitri to react again, his cock twitches. It's a very vicious cycle and Felix can't get enough of it.
He pulls back and licks at it. Realizing that at some point he'll have to breathe. His own cock strains in his pants.
Dimitri shivers. " Ah Felix, that's so good. Mmm,"
It's encouraging so he keeps going. The lewd sounds of his tongue and Dimitri's pants and moans echo in his ears. He wants to talk, to say how much he wants this. But he's too concentrated on making sure he doesn't accidentally nip Dimitri with his teeth.
He wants to let Dimitri know how good he feels inside of him. How glad he feels to finally do this. To be the one making Dimitri moan like this. Hearing Dimitri moan Felix's name and other words of admiration.
The sounds grow louder and louder still. Dimitri's hand pulls at Felix's hair again. He feels his bun come undone. What a mess they've both become
Felix starts to touch Dimitri's balls. That's something he's heard feels good. It must be working. Dimitri starts to babble incoherently. His grip tightens on Felix's hair and it feels good.
" Coming. Fe I'm going to-"
Felix tenses himself. Did Dimitri really just call him that? Is he going to orgasm in his throat?
Felix thinks about pulling away. That would be the sensible thing to do. He doesn't.
Warm semen quickly fills his mouth. He takes it. But it keeps coming. Felix thinks he's going to choke and instinctively he pulls away.
Cum stains his shirt. His hair. Some of it gets on his face. He doesn't know a lot about cum or dicks for that matter but this feels like a lot to him.
Felix swallows and coughs. He feels Dimitri's hand on his back. More soothing then he'd like to admit. They both struggle to catch their breath.
" Wh… what a mess," Felix tries to say in an annoyed sounding voice. He sounds breathless instead. Dimitri does too when he speaks.
" Goddess… Felix, I'm so sorry. It just felt so good and I had to. Thank you… It was excellent and-"
" Hush… I didn't hate it… and if it felt that good to you then… it's fine." He thinks about looking away. He can feel himself smiling. Dimitri kisses his forehead. He's smiling like an idiot again. Breathing hard and still rubbing Felix's back.
Until suddenly it's less soothing and more sensual. Touching him wherever he can. Kissing and biting at Felix's neck.
" I want to make you feel good too."
" You don't need to."
" I want too," Dimitri seems to growl.
" If… you're going to be so insistent about it."
"Are you sure?"
" Yes," Felix bites out. "Don't be so stupid. Of course, I'm sure."
A half a second later, Dimitri pushes Felix to the floor and hovers over him. Felix moans at the sudden roughness. He's glad Dimitri doesn't ask him if he likes it because he'd hate to answer honestly.
Dimitri practically rips off Felix's pants. He hikes up his shirt and then stares at him with a hungry look in his eye.
Felix blushes. Dimitri leans forward and begins to kiss him again. If the blonde has any problems with the fact that Felix just swallowed his semen, that he's sticky and partially covered in it, he doesn't show it.
Dimitri's hands trail all over Felix's body. He can't hold back his moans anymore. Especially when Dimitri's mouth starts to travel downwards. Licking and nipping at Felix's lower abdomen.
He pulls away and Felix whines. Until he's back and biting at the inside of his thigh. He doesn't want him to ever stop.
" I want to fuck you," Dimitri growls. All politeness and hesitation lost. Felix isn't complaining.
" I don't have any lube. I'll get some tomorrow. And you'll need to stretch yourself"
" Tomorrow," Felix repeats. Incredulous. But he wants that more than he's able to admit right now. He wants to be annoyed that Dimitri is so presumptuous but he can't be. He wants Dimitri's cock badly. He wants Dimitri. All of him. Anywhere and in any way he can have him. He's glad he's laying down now because he can't stand any of this. In the most excruciating good of ways. These emotions feel so strange and overwhelming. As do Dimitri's touches.
His own cock twitches in response. It almost feels painful. That is until Felix can feel Dimitri's mouth around it. He moans and arches his back. Dimitri bobs up and down, tongue swirling lewdly. Felix twists, his hands clench and unclench. He tries briefly, to hold back his moans. That doesn't last long though. It's really embarrassing, having this stuff done to him.
Unlike Dimitri and his strangled out warning. Felix can't say anything as he starts to see stars and his whole body tenses. He wraps his legs around Dimitri's neck.
He can hear Dimitri moaning. Swallowing.
Felix shakes. Warmth spreads through his body and he can barely handle it. There's a wet popping sound as Dimitri pulls off. Felix whines. He doesn't know how much more he can take but he misses Dimitri's mouth on him already.
Dimitri lingers between Felix's legs. Pressing kisses on his cock and thighs. The fuzzy feeling in Felix's chest hasn't faded. Only now it's spreading and intensifying. Dimitri's leans forward and stops to bite one of Felix's nipples.
The moan that escapes his lips is shrill. Almost shameful. With the way that Felix feels after all this. The way that Dimitri reacts. He's really happy.
Even though it still feels like Dimitri is devouring Felix. Pumping his hand up and down Felix's cock slowly. Finally bringing his mouth up to meet Felix's.
He pulls Felix closer to his chest, deepening the kiss. Whispering how well Felix did and how hot he was. Felix could sleep on that warm chest forever. Listen to the low rumble of Dimitri's voice. Not that he'd admit that either.
"Mmm… Dimitri… Good" is all he says. All he really can say in his hoarse voice.
Dimitri hums and smiles. Felix is falling asleep, despite himself.
They'll need new clothes. The oil that Dimitri mentioned. More time. A variety of things in the near future. Even though it's not the best idea. Even though he should go back to his own room. No, he shouldn't. It's fine and they're happy. It's strange to even think about it.
He lays on the floor with Dimitri, curls up beside him and starts to fall asleep. Tomorrow, he assumes, they'll have a lot to talk about.
As stupid as it is, Felix mutters. " I love you too, Dimitri." Before drifting off.
His first kiss, first time having sex, his first love. Felix is glad that he doesn't have to admit it, but he's so happy.