Tony was making his morning coffee when Steve joined him in the kitchen, slightly upset.
"Oh, my God! Oh, my eyes! My eyes!" he screamed and without acknowledging Tony he went straight to the cupboard where the alcohol was hidden. Tony stared at him in shock as he pulled out a bottle of Scotch and poured himself a glass.
"What happened?" he asked as Steve drank the golden drink and reached out for the bottle. But Tony was ahead of him and put the bottle of Scotch back in the cupboard.
"I went jogging in the morning, like every day. And I ran around Natasha's room and you know how part of the wall is glazed, so I can see it from the outside. And I saw Nat and Bruce!" he yelped in panic, and Tony's eyes widened as he realized what it was about.
"It's okay!" he blurted out.
"They were doing it!"
"I know, it's okay."
"You know?" Steve asked in surprise.
"Yeah, I know. Clint knows, but not the others, so stop screaming."
"Hey, you guys," said Clint, who suddenly appeared in the kitchen.
"Clint! Steve found out about Bruce and Natasha," Tony said instead of greeting.
"You mean how they're friends and nothing more?" Clint asked, a little startled. It was already bad that Tony knew about it. Natasha would definitely kill him.
"He knows! He saw them doing it through the window."
"Actually, I saw them doing it up against the window," Steve said, still not recovering from what he saw early.
"So they know I know, and they don't know that Tony knows?" Clint assured them.
"Yes, but it doesn't matter who knows what. Now enough of us know that we could just tell them we know," suggested Steve, who was already thinking about a plan to avoid Bruce and Nat.
"Or, we couldn't tell them we know and have a little fun," Tony said with a grin.
"What do you mean?" Clint asked with interest.
"I'm not sure yet, but we must somehow disrupt their secret dates."
"You know what would even be more fun? Telling them," Steve said. Clint and Tony gave him an uninterested look.
"That doesn't sound like fun. I want it to do Tony's thing."
"Don't forget, just don't tell them we know," Tony reminded them, giving Steve another look.
"I have a great idea, listen!" said Clint enthusiastically, telling them his plan. It was so amazing that it was worth pissing off Black Widow herself.
Natasha was on her way to see Bruce when Steve joined her in the hall.
"Hi, Steve," she said.
"Uh, hello," he murmured nervously, and Nat glanced at him.
"Do you have any particular reason why you joined me?" she asked, raising one eyebrow.
"That hoodie looks great on you," he said, putting his hand on her arm.
"The material is so soft," he said, taking a deep breath. This was a really bad idea. "Hello, Mr. Bicep. Are you working out?" he asked, groaning in his mind. Clint and Tony owe him a big one.
"Are you okay? You're acting a little weird."
"Yeah, everything is fine. Great, actually. See you later," he blurted and hugged her, sniffing slightly at her hair and then disappearing.
"Weird," she murmured to herself and continued on her way to Bruce's lab.
"Hello, gorgeous," said Bruce with a smile as she walked into his private lab.
"Hello, handsome," she greeted him and briefly kissed him on the lips.
"How was the gym?" he asked, putting down the tablet he was working on before she arrived.
"Fine," she said casually, shaking her shoulders. "I think something's wrong with Steve."
"With Steve? And what is it?" Bruce asked in surprise.
"I think he was hitting on me," she answered, her forehead wrinkling as she frowned.
"What are you talking about?"
"I think he likes me."
"It's not possible," Bruce said and Nat gave him a shocking look.
"Sorry, what?" she asked offended.
"I did not mean it that way!" Bruce blurted as he realized what he said. "You're amazing and I'm pretty sure everyone likes you, but Steve? You know he's deeply in love with Peggy. I just think you misunderstood him," Bruce explained.
"I didn't, okay? He was all over me," Nat said, annoyed.
"Okay, so let's see what happens next. Maybe it was just a moment's weakness."
"A moment of weakness, huh?" she teased him.
"You know I had a weakness for you from the start," he said with a smile and kissed her forehead.
"Aren't you romantic? Let's get out of here," she said playfully, pulling him out from the lab.
"Nat, you want to come to see a movie with us?" Clint asked, when he, Tony and Steve walked into the living room where Natasha and Bruce were.
"Actually, I'm going to work out with Bruce, so he has some fighting basics and he did not have to release the Hulk even with minor obstacles," Natasha replied, and the three men exchanged knowing glances.
"Okay, we'd better go if we want to catch that movie," Tony said, and he and Clint went to the door, while Steve stayed in the living room.
"Bye, Nat. I miss you already," he said, standing closer to her than was needed. And then he leaned over and kissed her cheek. Then he quickly followed Tony and Clint.
"Did you see that? The inappropriate, and the kiss?" she asked in shock.
"Actually, I did," Bruce replied thoughtfully.
"So do you believe that he's attracted to me?" she asked, and for a moment there was silence. Bruce knew that Natasha attracted a lot of people, but he still found it strange. And then it hit him.
"Oh, my God! He knows about us!" he blurted and stood up from the couch.
"Are you serious?"
"He knows, and he's trying to freak us out! That's the only explanation!" Bruce insisted.
"Bruce, I know he's in love with Peggy, but she's not here. Do you think he will be alone until he dies?" she asked, but Bruce didn't answer and let Nat think about what she said, because that sounds exactly like Steve. "He knows! Steve knows about us."
"I'm sorry, guys. I forgot my phone," said Clint, who suddenly reappeared in the living room.
"Steve knows about us!" Natasha said dangerously calmly, and Clint swallowed hard. This wasn't so much fun anymore.
"I didn't tell them!" he blurted, then groaned as he realized what he had said. Idiot.
"Them?! Who's them?!"
"Steve and Clint," he replied calmly. But no one believed him.
"Don't test me, Clint," Nat growled.
"Steve and Tony."
"They think they are so slick messing with us. But they don't know that we know that they know," said Natasha, who had a plan for revenge in her head already.
"So The messers become the messes!" said Bruce triumphantly, clearly aware that Nat wouldn't just let it go.
"That'll be interesting," Clint murmured to himself as he left.
"She wants me to come over and feel her bicep and more!" Steve yelled as he hung up the call.
"Are you kidding? I cannot believe she would do that to Bruce. I know she's not into relationships, but on the other hand, she seems quite loyal," Tony said, confused.
"I said that's a bad idea!" Steve continued to panic.
"Clint!" Tony shouted as he linked all the links. "Do they know that we know?"
"They know that you know," Clint replied calmly.
"I would say, "Thank God! Everybody knows! It's finally over!" But that hasn't been working for me," Steve murmured, wanting all this to end.
"I cannot believe those two! They thought they could mess with us? Trying to mess with us?" Tony asked outraged. This was supposed to be fun for them, not for the two love birds.
"It doesn't change anything. Think about it, they don't know that we know they know we know."
"You're right, Clint. We'll win this. Steve? Get ready for the evening."
"What? Are you two crazy? Natasha has no limits! What if she doesn't back down?" he yelled. This got out of hand. Tony should have done it. He didn't understand how they might think this would work.
"Yeah, Nat has no limits, but I don't think she'll let it go too far," Clint tried to assure him.
"So you think? That really calms me," Steve snorted.
"Hey, guys, what are you doing?" asked incoming Bruce, Natasha beside him.
"Just chilling killing," Tony replied.
There was silence in the room for a moment. Tony gave Steve a meaningful look and went to Bruce to discuss one idea with him that had been in his head for some time. Steve took a deep breath and followed Natasha. The sooner he does it, the sooner it will be over.
"So, I'd love to come by tonight," he said, and Natasha's face flashed with surprise, but she quickly disguised.
"Absolutely. Say, around 7? I'm really looking forward to you and me having sexual intercourse," Steve confirmed.
"Okay, see you tonight," she said and went to find Bruce. She had no problem with that, though it surprised her. She knew Steve wouldn't let it go that far. Still, she had to make sure that Bruce was fine with her plan.
"Hey, Bruce, can I talk to you for a moment?" she asked as she found Bruce and Tony in one of their laboratories.
"Yeah, sure," he said, following her out into the hallway.
"So, Steve wants to come tonight," she said flatly, and Bruce gave her a surprised look. He didn't expect this to tell the truth. And he wasn't too excited about it.
"Hm, really? How far are you gonna have to go with him?" he murmured and looked away. He was afraid, okay? Natasha could have anyone, and she chose him. What if she changed her mind and chooses Steve?
"He'll give in the way before I do," she answered confidently.
"How do you know?"
"Because you're on my team. My team always wins," she grinned and quickly kissed him.
"Nervous?" Natasha asked, keeping her eyes on him.
"Me? No. You?"
"I want this to happen," she said, watching Steve swallow hard. She is gonna break him.
"So do I," he mumbled.
"I'm going to put on some music."
"Maybe I'll dance for you," he said and started doing strange creations. Nat really had to try hard not to laugh.
"You look good," she flattered him and the corners of her lips twitched.
"Thanks. You know, when you say things like that, it makes me want to rip that hoodie right off. Why don't we move into the bedroom?" he suggested.
"Really?" Natasha blurted, surprised by his suggestion.
"Do you not want to?"
"First I want to take off all my clothes, so if you'll excuse me," she said playfully and went to the bathroom.
"He wants to move into the bedroom!" she whispered as she closed the door behind her.
"He's not backing down. He even danced!"
"Wait, what? Steve was dancing?" Bruce laughed.
"Well, I wouldn't call it a dance, but he thinks so."
"It's Steve, you can take him," Bruce encouraged her.
Meanwhile, Steve was panic again in the doorway.
"She's not backing down."
"She's bluffing," said Clint calmly again. He didn't know what to laugh at first, but watching Steve was really fun.
"Unbutton your buttons," Tony said, and before Steve could cope, he unbuttoned a pair of shirt buttons so his chest could be seen.
"Watch out, she is coming," Clint said cautiously, closing the door.
"You are going?" Natasha said behind him.
"Not without you, lover," he answered heavily and turned to face her.
"I'm very happy we're going to have all the sex," she said mysteriously and started walking slowly. She was like a hunter, and Steve felt his feet rise to the ground.
"You should be," he said, his throat dry.
"I'm very bendy."
"I'll kiss you now," he told her but didn't move.
"Not if I kiss you first," she challenged him. She thought it would be no problem for her, but she didn't really feel like kissing Steve.
"I guess there's nothing left for us to do but kiss," Steve murmured, sensing that Nat wasn't going to back down.
"Here it comes," she said, their faces barely a few inches apart.
"Our first kiss," Steve nodded.
Then their lips joined together and Natasha felt like she was going to vomit. Nothing against Steve, but this wasn't right. Her heart ached and she couldn't continue.
"You win! I can't have sex with you!" she yelled and pulled away from him.
"Ha! And why not?"
"I am in love with Bruce," she gasped, and suddenly three more people appeared in the room.
"You are what?!" Bruce asked in surprise.
"Love him! I love him! I love him! I love you, Bruce."
"I love you too, Nat," he said with a loving smile and hugged her.
"I thought you were doing it," said Steve, who suddenly felt bad that he had been drilled into that terrible plan.
"I didn't know you were in love! Dude!" said Tony, who was happy for his friend. For both of them.
"Hats off to Steve," Clint smirked.
"All right! So that's it? It's over," said Steve happily. He was really glad it was over.
"What is it over?" Wanda asked, suddenly appearing in the room with Vision.
"You two lost a lot of fun," Tony replied and went after his own way.
"Well, I'm pretty glad it's no longer a secret," Bruce said with a smile as the two of them were left alone in Natasha's room.
"Come here," she smiled, pulling him into a kiss.