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"Hmm, for an order like that… I'd say it'd cost you, oh… ten thousand technos. As a down payment."

Lord Boxman admired the casual, almost lazy way Professor Venomous bartered. Really, teaming up with him was the best decision Boxman had ever made in his life, he was sure. He hadn't had such a business savvy partner since Mr. Logic was still around – the profit margin certainly supported that assessment.

Billiam Milliam pursed his lips. "Hrm… Well I suppose, that would work under more usual circumstances, I do believe I have some, hm… incentive for you to perhaps grant me a little discount?"

"Oh?" Venomous drummed his fingers on the desk, distinctly unimpressed. "What do you have to offer? Information, I suppose?"

"Oh, only our more… usual exchange." Boxman wasn't sure why Billiam's eyes slid to him, nor why Venomous suddenly tensed up.

"Oh. That. Ahem."

"That is, unless you no longer have need of my… wares?"

Venomous grit his teeth. "Do you have it with you?" he asked, almost reluctant.

"Uh, PV? What's he talking about?"

"Billiam Milliam has access to some resources relevant to a certain subject of study," Venomous said smoothly. "Nothing to be concerned about."

Milliam smirked.

"Eight thousand technos. Take it or leave it."

Billiam sighed and slowly removed a sealed file from his fancy suit jacket. "Here," he said, sliding it down the table before strutting out the balcony door to his waiting hover-copter. "I think you'll be… most pleased."

Boxman tried to sneak a peek at the file, but Venomous nudged it out of his reach. He debated hopping onto the table to make a grab for it when his watch chimed. They were eight thousand technos richer, with millions more to come over the next few months.

Venomous stood up from the table, tucking the file into his lab coat.

"So, uh… whatcha studying, PV?" Boxman asked. Was it his imagination or was Venomous walking faster than usual? He had to really book it to keep up.

"It's for a personal project," Venomous said curtly.

"Oh, well… can I see?" Boxman asked, batting his eyelashes.


Venomous opened the door to his room, tossing the file inside onto the bed, before shutting it firmly. "Now then, let's get back to those augmentations we were working on…"


This was a very bad idea. Breaking into Venomous's bedroom was bad enough, but sneaking a look at his files? This could only end badly. But he couldn't get the Cob dang file out of his mind.

He'd thought… well, he'd thought he and Venomous had been getting along. Becoming real partners, maybe even friends! Why was he being so secretive? Cob, just yesterday, Venomous had been so excited to show him the new poisonous bonsai hybrid he'd been working on – it wasn't even work related, just a hobby! What made Milliam's file any different?

Boxman hopped up onto Venomous's bed, flailing his legs furiously to keep from sliding off, thanks to those fancy, silk sheets. He finally managed to get his knees under him long enough to crawl toward the center of the bed where the file was. He gnawed on his lower lip for a moment, wondering if he was really going to do this.

Cob damn it, he had to know!

He opened the bottom of the file, carefully prying open the adhesive, rather than bending the metal strips at the top. He suspected Venomous would be much more likely to notice the bent metal than the slightly-less-tacky adhesive. The contents spilled out below.

"Why would… these are all pictures… of me?" Eleven photos, to be precise. It looked like they were from the last time he met with Billiam in person. He remembered making that face at the ugly new statue he'd had installed on the grounds. And that had to be a surveillance still of him yelling at Billiam. And that one was him flipping off one of those creepy, over-muscled servants…

They weren't, he noticed, particularly flattering pictures.

Was Venomous laughing at him behind his back? Did he have some sort of collage somewhere full of terrible photos of him?

This was why he hated friendship. If you didn't care about people, it wouldn't hurt when they turned on you.

Boxman heard the faint strains of Venomous's dulcet tones approaching and began stuffing the photos back in the file. Maybe he could still slip out, if he hurried?

He heard Venomous's voice getting louder, along with the faint sound of approaching footsteps. He had to be pretty damn close. Boxman licked the adhesive to re-seal it. Now how to get out of this-

"And don't call me for dinner," Venomous called. "I'll arrange my own meal."

Boxman darted into the closet, leaving the door cracked. He didn't dare close it all the way and risk making a sound.

"Cob, finally," Venomous said, stripping out of his lab coat. He yanked off his boots as well. Boxman cringed. That meant he didn't plan on leaving his room for a while. Boxman had no choice but to wait it out.

"Hmm… now let's see what he got for me this time…"

This time? How long had Venomous been doing this, laughing at him behind his back and-

"Ohh yess… That will do…" Venomous purred, slowly drawing one photo from the file. Boxman shivered at his tone. That… didn't sound like PV was mocking him. More like-

He heard the sound of a fly unzipping.

Oh my Cob…

Boxman could feel his sheath start to slicken and squeezed his legs together. Keep it together, Boxy-baby… He can't know you're here…

Despite himself, he switched so his robotic eye was the one peering through the crack. He zoomed in, watching as Venomous bit his lip, holding a photo up for a better look. He couldn't quite make out what was happening below the waist – curse his short stature! – but the movement of PV's wrist was certainly a little incriminating.

Boxman stood on his tiptoes, leaning forward just a bit, just to see-

And fell out of the closet with a crash.

"What- Lord Boxman! What are you doing in my room?!"

Oh poop…

"Well…! Well why do youuuu have pictures of me!?" Boxman fired back.

"What? I don't-" Venomous stuffed the photos into the file. "I don't know what you're-"

The bottom of the file gave out, sending the photos scattering.

Boxman smiled triumphantly, vindicated. "You were saying, Professor?"

Venomous's tongue flicked out nervously. "They're for research, Box. I don't see how it's any of your-"

"How are pictures of me research!?" Boxman snarled.

"It's private!" He couldn't tell whether Venomous's face was flushed from embarrassment or rage, but it was an alarming shade of red. His tail had manifested and was rattling ominously.

"Not so private when you're giving discounts for a service I could provide!"

"It's – Wait, what?" The tail stilled abruptly, Venomous's eyes widening.

Boxman froze. "Well… that is… If it's just photos you want, I'm… well, I'm right here, you know. You could just ask."

"Oh?" Venomous's voice had dropped to something low and smooth that made Boxman's sheath slicken with arousal. "You're… offering to assist me in my studies?"

"Aheh… well I'd probably do better than those crappy surveillance photos. That I, er, definitely didn't look at."

Venomous's eyes narrowed, mulling it over for a moment.

"On the bed," he said. "The lighting is, ahem, better here."

It didn't look all that different to him, but Boxman was happy enough to not look a gift dino in the mouth – he might just get out of this without ruining things between him and PV!

"So, uh… What kinda pictures do you need, PV?" His fly was still undone, Boxman couldn't help but notice, but his underwear was covering anything too scandalous. He wondered if he should let Venomous know that he knew…

Well, really, what did he know? Venomous liked to look at surveillance pictures of Boxman. Or was it research itself that turned him on?

Did it even matter?

"Lie back," Venomous purred, whipping out his phone.

Boxman obeyed, trying to find purchase on the slippery sheets without digging his talons into the fabric. "Ah… how's this?"

"Mm… spread your legs a little bit more," Venomous breathed. "Yes, that's it…"

Boxman tried not to look at his crotch, even as Venomous shifted, adjusting the band of his boxers just a hair too casually.

"This is… just for private research, right?"

"Mm… my eyes only," Venomous said, before biting his lip.

"Oh... okay then!" Boxman brightened. "How many do you need? Should I take off my boots or-"

"Wait, what?" Venomous looked up. "Why are you still – boots off, Box, Cob…"

"Sorrey," Boxman said, batting his eyelashes. He kicked off his boots with relish before settling back onto the bed. It was much more comfy than his own. "Anything else I should be doing?"

Venomous licked his lips nervously. "Well you could... open your shirt, just a bit. Get comfortable."

Boxman tugged off his tie with relish. "I'm feeling better already," he said cheerily.

One of Venomous's fangs was digging into his lower lip so hard that Boxman was a little worried he'd start bleeding. He hesitated with his hands on the top button.

"Keep-" Venomous cleared his throat. "Ahem. Keep going."

Boxman teased the button a moment longer before pushing it through the hole. He allowed his talons to slowly drifted down to the second button, then the third, popping them open.

He'd never seen Venomous's eyes so dilated, not even around fancy cars or weapons of mass destruction.

"A little more," Venomous breathed, leaning in just a little closer.

His shirt was nearly open to his navel, but Venomous was watching him with hungry eyes.

He kept going.

"How's this, PV?" Boxman asked, shirt fully undone. His suspenders were mostly keeping it closed, but there was a very noticeable strip of bare skin.

"Yesss, that's good. Now just lean forward... Mm, yeah, push your shoulders together..."

That only served to push his lamentably soft pecs together. Now if he had really big muscles like that Gar man from the plaza, that'd be a sight worth appreciating... Or maybe lean, sinewy muscle that he just knew had to be lurking beneath PV's turtleneck…

PV seemed to like his pecs, though. Really, really like them.

"That's good. That's very..." Venomous's eyes were half-lidded.

"Is there something else you wanted to see?" Boxman asked coyly.

Venomous wet his lips. "Your- your mouth. Open your mouth."

Boxman did.

"No, not like that, like-" Venomous hooked his fingers in his own mouth, like he was pulling his mouth wide open.

Boxman opened his mouth wider, not sure what the goal really was.

"No, it's still- like this, Boxy, just-"

"For corn's sake, PV," Boxman said exasperated. "If it's that important, just show me!"

"I am!"

"No, like-" he grabbed Venomous's wrist and guided it to his mouth. "Show me."

"O-oh..." Venomous's knuckles were white from his hard grip on the phone. When his fingertips touched Boxman's lips, they were shaking. He opened his mouth once more, fighting the urge to bite as slightly cool digits slid into his mouth, pressing his tongue down.


Venomous shushed him, taking pictures with his phone. "Yes, that's... that's much better..."

He could feel curious fingers mapping out his sharp teeth, as drool built up in his mouth. He swallowed, squeezing his legs together, trying to keep his cock in its sheath. Venomous's fingers pressed and rubbed against his tongue, making barely audible wet sounds that seemed somehow deafeningly loud when the only other sounds in the room were their heavy breathing and the clicks and whirrs of the phone's camera.

Venomous's fingers withdrew slowly, almost reluctantly.

The bulge in his pants had grown even bigger, Boxman couldn't help but notice.

"Hey, uh, PV? I'm... feeling a little warm. Could I take my coat off?" Boxman asked.

"Of course," Venomous said silkily. "Perhaps your suspenders too? I wouldn't want you to be... uncomfortable."

Boxman shed his coat and suspenders eagerly - Venomous's room wasn't that warm, but having all of his partner's attention focused on him sent heat coursing through his veins.

"Thanks, Professor," he cooed. "So, heh... what else did you want to see?"

"Well... you'd need to take your shirt off for that..."

Boxman could feel heat creeping up his cheeks. "Well, it's already half-off anyway, so..."

Venomous's lips curled into a smile as Boxman tossed his shirt aside, aiming for something carefree - or at least not too obviously nervous.

He thought he saw Venomous adjust himself through his boxers, out of the corner of his eye.

"Lay back for me," Venomous purred. "Yesss, just like that..."

He leaned in, his phone an inch away from Boxman's shoulder, where the first hints of down sprouted. His talons tensed on the sheets for a moment before he forced himself to relax. His feathers were still a little fluffed but hopefully not too noticeably.

"Could you- just grip the sheets. Really- hah- hard... I mean, tense your arm..."

Was PV really trying to understand his musculature or something? He seemed really interested in the way his talons tangled in the sheets - why not just ask to see his hands?

"Really pull, like you're trying to tear them," Venomous instructed somewhat breathlessly.

"Uh, they'll rip..." Boxman warned. Venomous's eyes lit up in response.

"I have replacements. Go on."

Boxman gave a mental shrug before digging his claws in and pulling. He could just make out a stifled moan from Venomous over the tearing of cloth.

"Quite, ah... quite sturdy muscles..." Venomous said.

"You think that's impressive? You should see me at a forge!" Boxman said cheerfully, unhooking his claws from the ruined fabric.

"Ohh..." Venomous breathed. "Yes, I- That sounds. Very interesting."

"If you're just curious about adjacents, I can show you how I preen?" Boxman offered, somewhat shyly, "but I think that's all I have to offer that would be of interest to you. Well, mostly."


"Ah... ha. I, erm. There's only one other area where I'm visibly adjacent, but it's... probably not something you want to see." He rubbed at the back of his head, tracing his skull plate out of habit.

"Beneath your-" Venomous gestured vaguely at his own face.

"No!" Boxman said, rolling his eyes. He tapped his fingers to his claws. "It's a, uh... private... part..."

"Yes, but what part?" Venomous asked, starting to sound annoyed.

Boxman shifted. At least his nerves had taken care of his arousal. "Uh..." he steamed quietly, trying to think of a delicate way to put it. "I'd have to, ah... take my pants off. To show you, I mean. If you wanted."

Venomous bit his lip hard enough for his purple skin to turn white. "May I- may I see?" he croaked, suddenly meek.

Boxman knew it was a terrible idea, but he found his hands moving without his permission, his fingers undoing his belt, shoving his pants and underwear down and off.

"Oh, feathers and... is that a cloaca?" Venomous leaned in closer for a better look. He could feel soft puffs of air from his breath against his slit, barely disturbing the tiny feathers surrounding it.

Boxman combed his fingers through his pubic feathers idly. Venomous's eyes were riveted on him.

"So," Venomous said, voice cracking slightly, "Do you... Tell me about your..."

"My setup?" Boxman suggested.


Boxman dipped the tip of one finger into his slit and the phone in Venomous's hand creaked as his grip tightened.

Boxman pressed his finger deeper, watching Venomous like a bird of prey. He looked like he wasn't even breathing. He drew his finger free, pleased at the thick strand of lubricant trailing from his finger.

"I produce my own slick," Boxman explained helpfully. "Like lubricant."

"Hhhhow interesting," Venomous said. "You're... you're very wet."

"Well of course! It's my sheath, after all." He caught Venomous palming himself through his pants, but pretended not to notice.

"Could you-" Venomous hesitated. "I can't see too clearly with the feathers... could you-"

"Could I what?" Boxman asked.

"Er, spread open your-"

"My sheath?" Boxman tried to play up his nerves a bit. "I dunno, PV, I'm a little nervous. I'm, heh, feeling a little exposed here, being the only one naked."

Venomous licked his lips, looking conflicted.

"Well, I... I could level the playing field a little, I guess..." Venomous stripped out of his lab coat and shirt easily enough, but hesitated at his pants.

"I... have a slight... confession to make."

Boxman sat up, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Oh?"

"My, uh, research is more, er... exploratory, in nature. Analyzing my own... physiological responses to specific stimuli."

Translation: it's not science, I'm using it to jack off.

"Oh, okay!" Boxman said, having perhaps a little too much fun with the innocent act. "What responses are you having?"

"Well, I-" Venomous rubbed the back of his neck, staring off to the side as if looking for a hint of what to say. "Nudity and, ah, arousal usually invoke reciprocal reactions... there are some theories that, uh..."

Boxman expected he was about to hear a bunch of made up studies and decided to cut him off.

"Well you should be fine to at least take your pants off, then," he said reasonably. "I mean, I'm naked but it's not like I'm aroused."

Venomous looked crushed.

"Uh... not that it would bother me, if you were," Boxman backpedaled with a slightly nervous grin. "It just takes me a while to get going." He offered a sheepish smile as he tapped his fingers together. "Maybe it'd help, like you said. With the, heh, reciprocity thing."

"I never said I was aroused!" Venomous said defensively.

Boxman looked down at the prominent bulge at his crotch. Venomous followed the trajectory of his gaze.

"...I'll just, uh..." he turned away and shoved both his pants and boxers down his hips. His ears and the back of his neck were a dark shade of lilac.

He had two dicks. Two very hard, leaking dicks.

"Oh my..." Boxman purred before he could stop himself.

Luckily, Venomous seemed pleased rather than self-conscious.

"Do you want to see me aroused too?" Boxman asked. "Maybe have me touch myself for you? So you can see properly."

Venomous made a strangled noise. One of his cocks twitched, more pre-come beading at the tip.

Boxman rubbed two fingers against his slit before using them to slowly pull the edges apart.

"It's, uh, kind of hard to hold it open and stretch at the same time, so..."


"Uh, yeah. Unless you don't want to see my cock..."

"No! I mean- no, that's fine, please continue. I want to."

"Do you want to just watch, or..."

"Or?" The phone in Venomous's hand cracked.

"Well, you could... you could help?"

Venomous made a noise that probably translated to 'yes, please, I would like that very much.'

"You could use your fingers if you want?" Boxman hinted.

Venomous made another inarticulate noise, already reaching forward with his free hand. He traced Boxman's slit carefully. "Which- which one do I-"

"There's no need to stretch the bottom one, unless you're planning to fuck me."

Venomous hesitated just a hair too long, clearly torn.

"The one above it is my sheath," Boxman said helpfully. "It's best if I stretch a little before I get too aroused. It, uh..." he blushed. "It kinda hurts when my cock comes out if I don't."

It was sweet how the mention of potential pain convinced Venomous to snap out of his daze and press his fingers into Boxman's sheath. His fingers were cold at first, but warmed quickly. Boxman hissed when the very tip of one finger brushed the head of his cock.

"Is that-"

"Ha... mhmm, that's it..." Boxman bit his lip. He could feel his own cock hardening further before beginning its slow descent.

Venomous rubbed at the head with both fingertips before withdrawing, taking a picture of his own slick fingers almost as an afterthought.

Boxman hissed as his cockhead breached his sheath, already reaching out of habit to stroke it. He caught himself, though.

"PV, should I-"

"Yes, Boxy... go on, touch yourself."

He wrapped his fingers around his length, giving himself a slow stroke. It felt different with Venomous there - more intense, yet somehow less satisfying.

Venomous was just staring at him, wide-eyed, his face flushed lilac. He wasn't even taking pictures anymore.

"Puh... PV, aren't you meant to be doing something?"

Venomous reached forward, his fingers finding Boxman's entrance. It wasn't what he'd been expecting, but he certainly wouldn't complain.

"Does this feel good?" Venomous murmured.

"Yeah..." he breathed. He let his eye drift shut as two slim fingers slid into his lower hole. He felt the bed shift as Venomous moved closer - beside him, rather than in front of him. Venomous was close, but not touching him - close enough that he could feel his body heat, that his breath would puff against his hair.

Boxman's pelvic muscles tensed as those long, lovely fingers found his sweet spot, pushing his cock out even further.

"You're bigger than I im- than I would have expected," Venomous breathed.

Boxman moaned as those fingers twisted wickedly inside him. His own hand sped up on his cock against his will, instinctively trying to keep pace with PV's fingers. He whined as a third was added, stretching his sheath wider.

"Feels... feels good, PV," he whined, rubbing his cheek against one prominent collarbone. "Gonna- gonna do something about it?" To his disappointment, the fingers left.

Boxman yelped as he was suddenly shoved back and away, nearly falling off the bed, if he hadn't dug his talons into the sheets. Just as suddenly, he was seized by his legs and dragged closer until Venomous's cocks were butting up against his slit.

He waited with bated breath for him to push inside – one cock, two, he really didn't care at this point. He could feel Venomous practically vibrating against him.

"PV…" He let go of his cock and reached beneath his legs, seizing the edges of his slit to hold himself open. "Professor…"

With a noise that sounded almost pained, Venomous gripped his hips with one hand and guided his cocks inside with the other, not stopping or even slowing until his balls were pressed flush against Boxman's ass.

He couldn't stop the pained whimper in his throat, but Cob it was worth it. Venomous's hand was digging bruises into his hips, even as the other felt around frantically before emerging with the phone. His pupils were blown, his hand shaking as he brought the phone to bear. Boxman took several deep breaths as his body adjusted while Venomous snapped pictures of where they were connected.

"You're… you're so tight," Venomous hissed, even as he wrapped a hand around his cock.

Boxman merely moaned, digging his fingers into those silky sheets to ground himself. He closed his flesh eye, but his mechanical eye could still see Venomous taking pictures of his own hand on Boxman's cock.

"Come on, PV! I'm not getting any younger here!"

"You're still too tight, Boxy, I'll-"

"Fucking fuck me already!" Boxman snapped.

He saw Venomous's resolve waver for a moment before he caved, tossing his aside before seizing his hips with both hands. He pulled out slowly, only to thrust back in hard enough to leave Boxman seeing stars.

"Oh Cob, PV… feels good!" Boxman cried. Venomous growled low in his throat, almost feral with lust. He set a harsh, punishing pace all while groping his hips, his thighs, his ass… If Boxman had to choose a single word to describe it? Greedy.

Good thing he liked that. Cob, he'd never felt so sexy before. He sort of understood Venomous's urge to take photos now – Cob knows he wanted to preserve that hungry expression on Venomous's face for time immemorial. He could feel his own orgasm approaching far too soon, between the twin cocks battering his prostate and his own hand working feverishly over his dick.

"PV, I'm gonna- gonna come!" he blurted.

"Yesss…" Venomous hissed, his forked tongue flicking out for just a moment. "Come all over yourself, Boxy." He squeezed his stomach with one hand, feeling around for his phone with the other. Venomous brought the phone to bear, smiling wickedly as he delivered a particularly brutal thrust.

Boxman came with a howl, his cock spurting come onto his own stomach. He could still feel Venomous thrusting away to completion inside him and bore down.

"Come on, come on, fill me up, PV-"

Venomous thrust balls deep inside him, grinding his cocks in a tight little circle as he came with a snarl of his own. "Fucking take it, Boxy!"

Boxman could feel his cocks twitching inside him before they softened and slid free. He shivered, feeling come already starting to leak out of him.

"Hold yourself open for me, Box," Venomous purred, "Yes, just like that…"

Boxman held his slit open, still dazed, listening to the faint clicks and whirs of Venomous's cell phone. His own cock was already retreating into his sheath, but he felt deliciously boneless and satisfied.

Venomous flopped back against pillows piled near the headboard, patting the space next to him almost shyly. Boxman was more than happy to oblige.

"So… that was fun," Boxman said. He linked his hands together, allowing them to rest on the swell of his stomach. "Heh, how did you 'research' turn out?" He grinned.

Venomous blushed. "I… may have got a bit, erm… carried away."

"Do I look like I mind? Now come on, PV, I wanna see how they turned out." He winked. "I hope you got my good side, hehehe…"

"You… you really don't mind?"

"As long as it stays private? Not at all."

Venomous grinned, pulling up the app labeled Gallery. "Well they should all be saved to- Wait, what do you mean 'File Corrupted!'"

Boxman sat up to peer at the screen as well. "Was your phone always that, uh, cracked?"

Venomous bit his lip. "Well no, but it's just the screen! It shouldn't affect the memory…"

"Isn't the memory card stored in that crunched in area?"

Venomous pried open the memory slot, but both villains cringed when the memory card came out in pieces.

Venomous slumped down, looking heartbroken.

"Aww, it's okay, PV!" Boxman said, combing his fingers through Venomous's somewhat mussed hair. "It's not so bad. We'll get you a new phone tomorrow, okay? You can take more photos next time!"

"But- Wait. Next time?" Venomous looked adorably hopeful.

"Uh, PV… you. You do realize I like you, right?"

Venomous blinked.

"Like… romantically. And stuff."

Venomous blinked again.

"So… we can have sex again. As many times as you want, even."

"You." Venomous cleared his throat. "You like me back?"

"I don't have sex with just anyone, you know…"

Venomous stared at him a moment, then looked at the phone in his hand, then back at him. "Fuck the phone," he said, tossing it over his shoulder before pouncing on Boxman once more.

Definitely not the most orthodox way to start a relationship, Boxman supposed, but as he smiled into Venomous's eager kisses, he decided he wouldn't have it any other way.