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I Miss You, Too

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Kyo had been gone eight days.

It wasn’t all that long, all things considered, and Die was aware of that, but the tour with sukekiyo was the most Kyo had been away since they’d officially moved in together a few months ago, and the townhouse felt strange and empty. Too quiet.

Of course Die had plenty to keep himself occupied, but he still missed the weight of Kyo pressed against his back at night, missed the muted sound of Kyo singing in the shower, or even the bath. In the simplest of terms, he missed Kyo.

He tried to fill the quiet by working on music.

He’d been messing around with his acoustic guitar for the better part of two hours when he picked up his phone and shot a straightforward little “I miss you” to Kyo. He held the phone a minute longer, wanting to say more, then set it down. He’d barely started playing his guitar again when his phone vibrated and he snatched it up eagerly,

I miss you, too.

It was brief and inconsequential, but Die smiled anyway.

Another message followed: What are you doing right now?

Die typed his response quickly, Just working on music at home.

Sounds lonely.

Die wanted to tell the truth, that it was lonely, that he missed Kyo’s sheer presence so much it was painful—but in the interest of not sounding entirely pathetic he said, Not too bad. I’ve got my guitar to keep me company at least.

Acoustic or electric?

Acoustic today, Die replied. He set his phone down on the edge of the desk in front of him and recorded a short audio file of what he’d been working on. He sent it off.

I love it, Kyo said only a few minutes later.

I’m glad.

Send more?

Die chuckled. You don’t have a show to get ready for?

Tonight’s live already finished, Kyo replied.

Die had never been great at remembering the time difference between different countries. It had to be later where Kyo was than he expected. He set the phone to record another little segment and sent it. He was almost nervous. There was always some small amount of concern for Die that Kyo wouldn’t like what he shared with him musically; not all of it was exactly Kyo’s style. But he was always more than polite, never discouraging. The lack of outspoken judgment was, in ways, even more nerve-wracking.

The pause was longer this time before Kyo finally wrote back, It’s beautiful.

Die let out a sigh of relief. It’s still kinda naked right now.

I like you naked.

Then, Are you in black or red tonight?

Die read the message twice, and snorted at what had to have been some weird typo. He looked down at himself. Um, I’m wearing black. But I’m *playing* my red acoustic lol. He snapped a quick selfie, showing his black tank top, red guitar in his lap.

Lucky instrument, Kyo said.

And, I wish I was there. I want to watch you, want you to play with me.

Die’s brow creased. Somehow the way Kyo was wording this stuff…

It’s so much better than when I play with myself.

Die’s heart stalled and picked back up. There was no way he was imagining the significance of Kyo’s word choice. Hesitantly, he texted back, Kyo, are you sexting me right now?

He chewed his lip, held his breath while he watched the ellipses that meant Kyo was typing.

Finally, I take it that question means I’m not succeeding.

Die laughed at that. Wordsmith though he was, this was evidently not Kyo’s area of expertise.

But if you’re not too busy, maybe I could call…?

Die didn’t even waste the few seconds it would take to respond, just hit the call button at the top of the message screen and put the phone to his ear.

Kyo answered after the first ring. “Die?

What was he supposed to say? “Yeah, it’s me.”

An odd little sigh came across the line. “I miss you.

“I know,” Die said, wrapping his free hand more tightly around the neck of his guitar. “I miss you, too.”

Been wanting you.

“Yeah?” Die closed his eyes. It was easy to picture Kyo, in bed in his hotel room somewhere, or hidden away in a corner of the tour bus. “All worked up, huh?”

Mmhmm.” Wherever Kyo was it was, it was quiet; only the soft rustling of fabric could be heard here and there. “You know what it’s like, after a live.

Die did know. Oftentimes when they got home from a concert they were both so revved up on adrenaline that they barely made it past the genkan before they were tearing each other’s clothes off. Those were some of their wildest nights together, and some of Die’s fondest memories.

“Where are you now?” Die asked.

Hotel room,” Kyo said. “Please talk to me? Tell me… fuck, tell me anything, what to do, what you wanna do to me…

“You don’t have a roommate?”

Kyo made an impatient noise. “Takumi went out, there’s no one here but me.

“You’re not worried about him coming back early and finding you in an awkward situation?” Die said, more because he enjoyed tormenting Kyo by making him wait than because he was actually worried about Takumi.

It wouldn’t be the first time one of them walked in on me,” Kyo said with a breathy laugh.

“But it might be the first time one of them walked in on you obviously having some shameless phone sex with your boyfriend—whom Takumi knows personally,” Die pointed out.

Yeah, but—” Kyo made another soft noise, and it was all too easy to picture him squirming. “Honestly I’m so hard right now, I don’t think I could give a fuck if I tried.

Die’s fingers squeezed the neck of his guitar. He wet his lips, breathed out, “Show me.”

Kyo whimpered and there were some shuffling sounds before Die heard his phone alert of him to a received text message, and immediately went about opening it.

Everything else seemed to freeze when he did.

Kyo had sent him a photo, mostly his torso, lying back against an ugly hotel bedspread, his face not in the picture. His shirt was rucked up to his ribcage, his jeans open and pushed down with his boxer briefs to mid-thigh, leaving his very aroused cock resting heavily up against his belly. It was hard, dark, and a little puddle of pre-cum was pooling by his bellybutton.

Die’s mouth watered. His hips rolled gently, and he had to relinquish his hold on his guitar for fear that he might snap a string.


Dimly, he heard Kyo’s voice still coming from the phone in his hand.

Die, are you still there?

Die put the phone back to his ear. “Do you have your laptop with you?”

What?” Kyo sounded confused, perhaps a little nervous. “Yes…

“Meet me on Skype in two minutes,” Die said shortly, and ended the call. He took another few seconds to stare at the photo Kyo had sent, and then hurried to put his guitar safely off to the side, and get the video calling application up and running on his own computer.

The icon popped up with an incoming call from Kyo only a moment later, and Die accepted it, pleased with Kyo’s willingness to follow instructions.

The shot only displayed Kyo’s upper body, but he already looked somewhat flushed, his eyes wide and curious. His hair was still damp from his post-live bath, and Die regretted that he couldn’t bury his face in Kyo’s neck and breathe in the scent of him.

He briefly considered not turning his own camera on—just watching Kyo, letting him listen to his voice but not see him—but it felt cruel when Kyo still looked a bit lost, so he switched it on, and it was worth it just to see the relieved smile break over Kyo’s face.

“Hey,” Kyo said, soft and relaxed.

“Hey to you, too,” Die said. It was surreal how far away Kyo felt, how long ago it seemed that he’d last seen him.

“I got on Skype,” Kyo said. “Are you gonna tell me what I should do now? What… do you wanna see?”

“I’m just happy to see you,” Die said, although he knew it wasn’t what Kyo wanted to hear. “You look…”

Kyo ran a hand through his hair. “I’m all—but you always look great. I do wish I was there.”

“I wish you were, too,” Die agreed. “I’d take such good care of you.”

“You always do,” Kyo said. “Better than I can really do without you.”

“Yeah? What do you need from me that you can’t handle on your own?” Die asked, smirking. He loved the way Kyo’s cheeks colored just the tiniest bit, like he was imagining all the best ways for Die to take him apart.

“For one thing,” Kyo said, “you can watch me.” It ended in a whisper, and Die almost didn’t catch it, but he knew Kyo well enough to understand even his softest-spoken words.

“I can do that from here,” Die offered. “I intend to. I know you’re waiting for me to get on with it, but it’s fun for me to just watch you all needy and helpless, too.”

“I’m not so helpless,” Kyo snapped. “I could shut this off right now and fuck myself without your input.”

“You could. But it’s never as good without me, is it? Isn’t that why you were trying to text me all that naughty stuff? It’s so much better for you when I’m the one telling you how tight to grip your pretty cock, how many fingers to shove up your ass…”

Kyo let out a breath. “Yes.”

“Get your shirt off first,” Die instructed, and Kyo hurried to do as he was bid.

It was a simple thing, but Die never tired of just admiring Kyo’s body. He knew how hard he worked on it, building muscle, decorating his skin with art to cover and complement years of pain and scarring. He was always the most beautiful sight Die had ever seen, and tonight was no different.

Die could have spent several long minutes doing nothing but staring, watching the smallest movements as Kyo breathed, but he wasn’t as sadistic as all that.

“Touch yourself, your chest, your abs. Play with your nipples. I wanna see them hard, begging for me to suck and bite them.”

Kyo’s hands were roaming over his skin before Die even finished talking. His mouth fell open as he twisted a nipple between his fingers, and Die cooed encouragingly.

“That’s good. Love seeing you listening to directions so well,” he said. He loved when Kyo was defiant, too, but this was truly one of his favorite things: seeing Kyo give himself pleasure, knowing that his thoughts were of Die as he did it.

Kyo went on pinching and tugging at his other nipple, a crease appearing between his brows.

Die knew well how sensitive Kyo was there, how he could often feel Kyo’s dick actually twitching with excitement when he took the time to give his chest proper attention. He wished he could get his mouth on him now, tease the little nubs until Kyo was keening. He regretted that, with how the shot was framed, he couldn’t see how Kyo’s cock was reacting to his own touches.

“You’re still hard for me, aren’t you?” he asked.

“Fuck, of course I am,” Kyo said, irritably. “So fucking hard it hurts.”

“Just making sure,” Die said. “I can’t see, you know. You’ll just have to tell me what I’m missing.” He paused to run his tongue over his lips, then, “Are you all wet for me, too?”

Kyo nodded. “Took my dick out to show you before, but it’s still getting my jeans all messy where it's dripping. Can I—Do you want me to touch myself, there?”

“Yeah, do it,” Die said. “Put your hand tight around your big cock, just how you like it.”

Kyo ducked his head, his bottom lip caught between his teeth, and one hand disappeared out of the bottom of the frame. "Now what?”

“Now, you’re all nice and wet, right? Spread that around, get yourself all slick with it.”

There was something so much filthier about the fact that Die couldn’t see what Kyo was doing. He could watch his face, the movements of his arm—he could hear the slick, lewd sounds of his hand moving over his cock—but the most graphic parts were hidden from him.

“Feels good,” Kyo said, his head tipping back. “God, I wish you were here with me.”

Die smiled. “So do I.”

“Want your mouth,” Kyo said. “Always feels so…”

“I know,” Die said. “And I can’t wait till you’re back home with me, so I can suck you off till you lose your mind, but I wanna make sure you can take care of yourself even without me there.”

“It’s not the same,” Kyo complained.

“No, it isn’t,” Die said. “But it can still be good. I wanna watch you make yourself feel so good.” He reached down to rub a hand over his own cock, hard in his jeans just from Kyo’s display.

“What—What do you want to see?” Kyo asked. “Want me to cum just like this?”

Of course it was tempting, but Die had already said some of the other things he had in mind, and he intended to follow through.

“Your balls,” he said. “You remember how it feels, right? When I lick you there, get my mouth full of you?”

Fuck,” Kyo hissed, eyes shut tight.

“Touch yourself there,” Die commanded. “Squeeze and pull and stroke so gently—and think about my mouth on you. If that’s what you miss, you can fantasize about it all you want.”

“Oh, Die.”

Both Kyo’s hands were out of the shot now, and Die wasn’t going to be satisfied with that much longer.

“Let me see what you’re doing to yourself,” he said. “Let me see your hand on your pretty cock.”

With obvious effort, Kyo paused in his movements. He scooted back from the screen, and shifted the angle of the laptop, so that Die could see the hotel desk chair where he was slouched, but more importantly, Kyo’s hard dick, shiny with pre-cum and flushed with need.

Somehow he hadn’t been prepared for how seeing it would make him feel kinda dizzy. Why the hell was he so far away?

“God, Kyo, you look so good, so beautiful.”

Kyo’s slender fingers wrapped around his length once more. “Are you touching yourself, too?”

Die had mostly been restraining himself from getting too carried away with his own touch. He was happy just to watch Kyo, though he couldn’t deny that he’d been achingly hard ever since he’d been talking to Kyo on the phone. “I’m just enjoying the show,” he told Kyo, smiling.

Kyo didn’t smile back. “You don’t wanna touch yourself?”

“I—I do, I’ve just been—”

“You’re not turned on? Thinking about blowing me, or about fucking me?” Kyo’s hand was picking up speed.

“I am,” Die insisted, hypnotized by the movement of Kyo’s hand. “I’m so—I can hardly stand it.”

“Me, too,” Kyo moaned. “Want you inside me.”

“You have lube with you?” Die said. He was sure he did, unless he’d already run out.

“Nng, yeah,” Kyo said rolling his hips. “You want me to finger myself open? Wanna watch me fuck myself on my fingers? Fuck, Die, that’s so dirty.”

It was far from the first time Die had watched Kyo pleasuring himself in that way, and yet it twas true that it was made much more obscene by the way Kyo’s camera tilted down to capture his actions, to show off everything just for Die’s viewing pleasure, thousands of miles away.

“I told you,” Die said, “I want you to feel good. I know you love the feeling of something filling you up.”

“But I want you inside me,” Kyo protested, even as his hips rocked again towards his hand. “Want your dick hitting me deep, and making me—”

“I thought you wanted me to tell you what to do,” Die cut him off briskly. “And I’m saying that I want to see you shoving your fingers in your tight hole, see you clenching around them as you shoot all over yourself. You can do that for me, can’t you?”

Kyo visibly shuddered, whispered, “Yes.” He leaned out of frame for a moment and returned with lube, which he wasted no time in opening. He shifted, getting his pants and underwear all the way off, and then his thighs spread without hesitation, giving Die a brief glimpse of his pucker before his hand moved between his legs, fingers prodding and probing and finally slipping inside.

Die watched without comment. He couldn’t bring himself to interrupt, entranced as he was by the vision before him. He rubbed his own cock through his pants as he watched Kyo’s hole flutter around two scissoring fingers.

He wanted to tell him to slow down. He could tell by Kyo’s frantic sort of pace that he was too worked up to draw things out as long as Die might have liked him to, but still, Die didn’t want it all to be over so quickly.

“Don’t cum until I tell you to,” he ordered, relieved that his voice didn’t crack as he said it.

“Oh, god, it feels so good, Die,” Kyo moaned. His other hand could be seen still working his cock, and with how his balls were drawn up tight, Die knew it wouldn’t take much for him to lose it. “You’re watching, aren’t you?”

“I’m watching,” Die confirmed. “You look amazing. I love seeing how you fuck yourself. Just wish I was there to take care of you.”

“Wanna take care of you, too,” Kyo said. “I just keep thinking about your cock—how good you feel inside me…”

“Feels so good to me, too.” Die finally got his pants open and freed his cock. A soft, strangled noise left him as he gave it a gentle squeeze. “And it feels good in my hand right now.”

Kyo’s pace faltered. “You’re—Fuck, yes—You’ll tell me when you’re close? Wanna cum with you…”

Die did not state that he was honestly already close, completely in awe as he was at the sounds Kyo had been making, at the sheer sexiness of his desperate movements. Instead he grunted, “I’ll tell you.”

His eyes focused resolutely on the way Kyo’s fingers pumped in and out of his hole, stretched, but still so tight, and Die could almost feel Kyo around him. He was so near his end, completely helpless to stop it.

“Kyo—God, you’re gorgeous. Can’t wait for you to come home and sit on my dick,” Die said, barely able to keep his head enough to speak. “Won’t even make it to the bedroom before I’m on you when you finally get back—”

No, don’t wait, just—up against the wall, or—”

“Bend you over and—fuck, I’m—I’m gonna cum—Show me, Kyo, sweetheart, let me see you.”

Kyo required no further instructions, and seconds later, he was clenching around his own fingers, thick spatters of cum streaking his taut abdomen.

Die only had a moment to mourn the fact that he couldn’t lick it all up before he was cumming himself, letting out a loud groan as the release wracked his body.

When he came back to himself, he found Kyo had readjusted the angle of his camera, so only his face and upper torso were showing. His bangs were damp with sweat, but he was smiling, sort of sadly.

“Thanks for that,” he said. “I guess I really needed you.”

“Happy to provide,” Die said. “I miss you.”

“I miss you, too,” Kyo said, for the nth time. “But um. I’d probably better get all this cleaned up before Takumi gets in.”

Much as Die hated the suggestion of Kyo hanging up, he nodded. “Might be a good idea.”

“I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Kyo promised. “It won’t be too much longer till I’m home.”

“I’m counting down the days,” Die said. “I hope you don’t have anything planned outside of our bed for the first couple days after you get back.”

“Oh, I don’t know, shower sex is nice sometimes,” Kyo said. “Or wasn’t there something about taking me against a wall, bending me over…?”

Die laughed. “Brat. I love you.”

Kyo’s mouth quirked up at the corner. “I love you.”

“Goodnight,” Die told him, and with utter reluctance, he let him end the call and go get cleaned up.

Die had some cleaning up to do himself, but he kept Kyo on his mind the rest of the day. He knew he was impossibly lucky. Even though it was hard to be away from him, Die knew in the end, he was the one Kyo would be coming home to, and if in the meantime, this was how they managed, Die could probably be okay with that.