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Welcome to Hazbin Hell!

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"This is stupid, Vagatha." groaned a certain princess' tired voice.

"It's not! Really, it'll work Charles! Just trust me on this!" Smiled back the moth demon, hugging her girlfriend tightly.

"It'll work."

Charlotte rolled her eyes, but kissed her lover on the forehead.

"Okay, I'll do it. For you."

Grabbing her folders she marched towards the set, exuding a powerful aura.

Standing near the news set was a woman, decked out in a light blue dress with tacky jewelry adorned. Her hair was in a messy ponytail, and her smile widened at the sight of Charlotte.

"Oh oh it's so nice to meet you! I'm a huge fan of you and your works, especially the red rooms! So incredible!" The woman gushed.

The Princess internally retched.

"I'm so glad you're able to guest star on our show! I wasn't even sure if you knew this existed!"

"How would I not after getting the many, MANY, emails from you..." 

"Oh so you did get them! I'm so glad they went through!"

Charlotte only hummed in response.

"Oh where are my manners? I'm Katie Merrymaker, huge fan of yours-"

"You already said that"

"-And it's so amazing that you're here I could literally scream - AAAAAHHHH! Sorry I'm just really excited and-"

Before Katie could continue, Tom whistled her over, signaling they were about to go live.

Katie gave one last smile before dragging Charlotte over to the set and forcefully sitting her down onto a plush red chair. The cameraman counted down till the familiar 666 news jingle played.

"Hello my lovely sinners! I'm Katie Merrymaker!" Announced the peppy demon, smiling.

"And I'm Tom Trench." Said the male demon sitting next to her, equipped with a gas mask and suit. Not too far you could hear a gunshot from..somewhere.

"And today we have a very special guest! Everyone please welcome the princess of hell, Charlotte!" She squealed, clapping enthusiastically.

Charlotte only gave a deadpan stare to the camera and before turning back to Katie as emotionless as before.

"So I heard you have this new project to show off! Please tell us all about it!" She pleaded.

Charlotte just sighed, moving her hair out of her face. This was getting annoying fast. She was about to get up and leave until she saw her girlfriend standing in the crowd behind the camera with a hopeful look.

Charlotte couldn't bring herself to let Vagatha down.

She took a deep breath before letting out her spiel.

"We are going to create a way to get annoying sinners out of hell, through redemption. I have set up a hotel that will help rehabilitate you filthy heathens so that you can finally get out of my hair and go to heaven." It was short, as to be expected of Charlotte, but nonetheless made an impact amongst others.

"I can finally see my ma!"

"I'll be able to be with my daughter!"

"Oh my dearest, I can finally tell you how much I loved you and how sorry I am for killing you!"

Cheers and cries erupted from the crowd.

"This is so stupid." Muttered Charlotte.

Suddenly, there was the breaking news jingle.

Tom immediately took charge as Katie was too busy gushing over how great the princess was.

"Breaking news everyone! There is a turf war going on down in Pentagram Square! Let's look at the news footage, shall we?"

In the live feed showed the local spunky cat demon, throwing cocktail Molotovs at the Egg Men (plus Sir Penny swaddled in a shell). Beside him was none other than hell's laughing stock, Alastor. Alastor was adorning a green palette, including his hair - except for the darkened purple tips.

Upon seeing him, everyone in the studio laughed, especially when he got blasted in the face by a cannon.

Charlotte placed her head in her hands.

"Godammit Alastor....."

Katie moaned lewdly. "Oh I wish the Egg Men would blast me~"

Tom also put his head in his hands.

"Godammit Katie....."

This was going to be a long day.

 

It was a silent drive to the hotel. Husk has long since abandoned Alastor the moment he saw the limo. Alastor was sitting across them, scooting closer every now and then towards them (then getting told to scoot back far away from the two female demons).

It was silent.

.....

"So....." Alastor started.

"Yeah...heh, that was something!" Vagatha tried to add, nervously glancing at Charlotte.

Charlotte only continued to glare at Alastor, causing both of them to shut up the rest of the ride.

 

On arriving to the hotel, both Vagatha and Alastor scurried inside to the nearest couch, offering each other emotional support.

"Well...I seem to have put us in quite the predicament..." mumbled Alastor.

"No no, it wasn't your fault! Turf wars happen! You couldn't have planned it!" Reassured Vaggie.

Charlotte only leaned against the wall, rubbing her temples before getting a phone call.

"Ugh....it's my mom." She let it ring to voicemail.

"Hey sweetie, it's your mother. Um, just wanted to call and let you know that your father would like to speak to you, in person. He isn't mad he just wants to talk! Okay uh....please call back!" And then her mother hung up.

"Maybe you should talk to her-" Alastor started.

"Shut the fuck up, Alastor" retorted Charlotte, cutting him off and leaving him to mumble to himself.

"Okay alright I get it. Don't say anything." He turned off his radio and sulked silently to himself.

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Intrigued, the princess went up to it and braved herself to whatever was behind the door.

"Ah fuck."

Standing before her was none other the Spider Demon, Angel Dust. Feared by all in hell, a mafia overlord with many eyes all around the Pentagram.

He had a simple green turtleneck sweater, matching is fur color and exposing his tufts of fluff on his chest. Despite his "modest" appearance, he was a very materialistic guy, owning hell's top porn studio and even his own mansion. He even managed to have a pet pig for crying out loud, which was practically his company logo.

The funny thing about him owning such a lewd business was that he himself wasn't a sexual man. He was sex repulsed and would kill anyone who would make an advance on him, which was a lot. Not that Angel didn't mind killing the poor sinners, that was the best part.

Standing tall in the hotel doorway, looking down upon Charlie greeted ever-so-sweetly "Hello there, toots."

Reality around him warped and stuck to his surface.

"What do you want." Charlotte asked, unfazed.

"Well I heard 'bout this hotel and wanted ta' check it out is all. Got a problem wit' 'dat?" Asked Angel, leaning in closer to the princess.

"No. Come on in." She responded, turning back to her former guests, leaving Angel dumbfounded but pleasantly welcomed.

On seeing the Spider Demon, Alastor immediately hopped from the couch, aiming his mic at the demon.

"Charlotte! What is he doing here?" He asked, voice cracking and shaking.

"He came to check out the hotel." She just nonchalantly said.

"Quite frankly, I am NOT okay with this!" He protested.

"Relax you big lime, I ain't here ta' hurt anyone." Angel insisted.

"Then why are you here....?" Alastor put his guard down a little, confused as to why an overlord would be willing to come to a broken-down place like this.

"Well this hotel is for rehabilitation, right? I was hoping that...." Angel blushed for a moment.

"I was hoping ta' see if there was a chance for me ta' get rehabilitated...." he mumbled.

Vagatha squealed in delight while Charlotte only looked at the Spider Demon with disbelief.

"You've gotta be fucking kidding me.....WHY???" Screamed the princess.

"Well..." Angel twiddled his gloved thumbs nervously.

"I want to find that special someone....." he confessed.

"Wait I thought you weren’t sexual!" Accused Alastor, keeping his fair distant away from the overlord.

"I'm not talking about a sexual relationship you stupid fuckin' deer! I want a relationship that's meaningful. Something that is just....love." 

Alastor only gave him a suspicious look before disappearing into the shadows, muttering to himself on the lack of entertainment the spider had brought.

Vagatha went up the the Spider Demon and cooed about his wishes.

"That's so sweet! We'll make sure you're redeemed! You can count on us!" She then turned to Charlotte, hopefully. "Isn't that right, darling!" Charlotte immediately caved in to her, wanting nothing more than her happiness.

"Well I don't think you'll be able to redeem any demons anytime with THIS kinda setup." He motioned to his surroundings. "This place is in the absolute dumps! Needs somethin'...snazzy!" He pulled out a pair of pink sunglasses, and gave them a quick kiss "And I know exactly who can fix this" he said before throwing them in the air.

Before hitting the ground a pink cloud formed, swirling and swirling the glasses in the air until a demon was in its place.

"This is my good pal, Valentino. He'll get this place cleaned right up. Won't ya, Big Vee~...." Angel sneered the last part while Valentino modded hastily.

"Y-Yeah, whateva' ya say, boss...." he gave the hotel a good look before whistling to himself "real big shithole this is...." and rolled up his sleeves before exiting into an unknown room.

"Now every hotel needs a full liquor bar, don't it!" The Spider Demon said before spawning in a bar seemingly out of nowhere. "And I know my right-hand gal can run it jus' fine!" He snapped his fingers, summoning a web net and before Charlotte could ask why, something had crashed straight into it. Lying in the webs was a purple cyclops girl, smiling ear to ear.

"This is Cherri Bomb, my gal pal."

"Watcha' needs, Angs! I got you covered!" She said enthusiastically.

"I need ya ta' man the bar, get that shit rolling, ya know?" He responded back nonchalantly.

"Hell yeah! Also thanks for teleporting me here, was in a real bad deal that would'a costed my legs! I owe ya this, for sure!" She hopped down from the web and went behind the bar.

"Man, isn't there a cleaner or some shit around here, place is musty as hell!" Cherri commented out-loud.

"Well we do have a maid here!" Interjected Vagatha.

"She's just....."

 

"Oh yeah you like that look Blitzo gives you, Stolas? You're student and teacher - it's so scandalous but hot!" Moaned Niffty, scribbling furiously in her notebook.

 

"....doing other things." Vagatha feebly said.

Outside there was an explosion, to which Charlotte looked out the window.

"Is everything okay??" Asked Vagatha.

"Yeah, there just seems to be shit going down at the I.M.P. HQ across town. The Egg Men must really want something from there." 

"Probably turf war shit. I don't really get into politics." Chided Angel.

Angel then stretched, cracking his back.

"Well! This is gunna be fun, now ain't it, sugartits!"