Brooke and Vanjie sit behind a table in a studio, a man to the far left, a bright blue neon wall behind them. On the table in front of them there are beverages and snacks spread out. All three have studio microphones right in front of their faces.
Brooke is sitting in the middle, a wavy curly blonde wig falling down to her shoulders. She’s wearing a red lip, her signature brow in place. She’s wearing dangling earrings in gold, the string small metal circles only accenting how long her neck is and a blue blazer, Brooke vibe of a business woman who owned her own law firm only enhanced by the lazy look she is giving the camera.
Vanjie is on Brooke’s right side. She’s in a long blonde wig, the hair falling down her shoulders. Vanjie is wearing a red feather coat, a red lip and long red nails, most of all looking like a very expensive nightclub host.
“Hey everybody-” The man to the left speaks, Vanjie and Brooke both looking at the camera. The man is in a black polo, his brown hair in a normal undercut. “it’s Joseph Sephard here, and I am here with the power couple of the drag world-”
Vanjie snorts, the sound immediately picked up in the microphone, which causes Vanjie to look like a child that’s been caught with her hand in the cookie car and Brooke to chuckle, while their host continues talking.
“-Two amazing performers, Vanessa Vanjie Mateo,” Joseph points to Vanjie, “the one true sensation, and the season 11 winner Brooke Lynn Hytes.” Joseph points to Brooke.
“Thank you for introducing me last.” Brooke smirks, and Joseph looks unsure for a minute, before he catches Brooke’s eyes and visibly relaxes.
“Awh-” Vanjie puts her hand on Brooke’s lap, the table blocking the view. “You can’t always be the important one babe.”
Brooke raises an eyebrow, and Vanjie giggles. Vanjie’s hand stays in Brooke’s lap as she picks up her Red Bull, and slurps from the straw, the microphone picking up the sound.
“So for this interview-” Joseph whispers, and Vanjie is watching with rapt attention. “We’re trying ASMR.”
“That’s Derricks-” Vanjie stops herself when she realises she’s talking in her normal voice. She quiets down, and attempts to whisper. “That’s Derricks shit, right?”
“I don’t think Derrick invented ASMR.” Brooke whispers too.
“The most important part-” Joseph smiles. “Is that we’re very, very quiet.”
“Why’d we say go to this again?”
“Because we like Joseph.” Brooke smiles.
“Right.” Vanjie smiles too.
“Just try to be the quietest person in the room-” Joseph instructs.
“That’s not going to be hard-” Brooke whispers, “with this one around.” Brooke points her thumb at Vanjie, who gasps.
“Fuck you.” Vanjie says it completely deadpan, and in her normal volume, which causes both Brooke and Joseph to crack up.
“It’s always so interesting to see what you two are gonna wear.” Joseph looks over at Brooke and Vanjie.
“Yeah?” Vanjie turns a little in her chair, moving it slightly closer to Brooke.
“You never look like you’re going to the same place.”
“Ah!” Vanjie yells, and Brooke’s eyes widened.
“We really don’t, huh?”
“Why you acting this hateful!” Vanjie slaps the table. “You saying we don’t look cute?”
“You look very very cute.” Joseph smiles. “But you don’t look like you’re together.”
“Our aesthetics are very different.” Brooke chuckles. “and that’s actually one of the things I like about us-”
Vanjie pauses, her entire attention focusing on Brooke.
“We always surprise each other.”
“Fuck this shit is hard!” Vanjie hisses into her microphone. All three of them are combing wigs, the microphones picking up the sounds of the brushes.
“So-” Joseph looks over at them. “What projects are you working on right now?”
“Together or apart?” Brooke works on the end of a weft on her wig.
“Let’s start with what you’re doing together.”
Vanjie looks directly into the camera, a knowing smirk on her face at Joseph’s question, and the camera zoom in on her for a minute.
“Well,-” Brooke looks over at Vanjie, who’s attention has returned to the table. “We don’t really have any projects right now, do we?”
“Sides the pets? Vanjie smiles. “Nah.” Vanjie twirls a strand of her wig. While Joseph and Brooke are just brushing, Vanjie has started styling hers, little braids everywhere in the bubblegum wig she’s been given. “Some weeks we barely even see each other.”
“Jos- Wait, I have to speak into the microphone, right?”
Joseph nods, and Brooke leans forward, lowering her voice even more. “Vanjie is traveling a lot right now.”
“It’s that All Stars life.” Vanjie is trying to whisper, but it most of all sounds like a normal speaking voice. “Price of stardom.”
“Of course.” Joseph takes a drink. “Congrats on All Stars by the way.”
“You congratulating me on going home?” Vanjie looks very skeptical.
“With a whole new fan base.” Brooke points out, and Joseph nods.
“You were extremely loved.”
Vanjie huffs, but she also looks prideful, and Joseph continues.
“Yara’s acceptance speech for the crown was heartwarming.”
“Ain’t no one deserving that crown as much as my auntie.” Vanjie smiles brightly. “Even if she kicked my ass home.”
“It’s been good overall.” Brooke bumps Vanjie’s shoulder.
“Touring the states down.” Vanjie bumps back, a smirk on her face. “So we ain’t doing no projects.”
“I try to follow you wherever I can.” Brooke looks up at Vanjie, her height meaning that she had to stay bent. “That could be considered a project. Being your groupie.”
The sentence makes Vanjie light up, her back straightening. “You always giving me the eye candy I want.”
Brooke laughs, the microphone catching the joy.
“So how does that work?” Joseph asks. “Being her groupie?”
“Groupie might not be correct-” Brooke sits back up. “Since I do have my own bookings and my own performances, but our managers-”
“Hey Stevie, hey Jason!” Vanjie waves, her voice rising in volume.
“They’re very used to synchronizing calendars.” Brooke smirks.
“We always performing two towns over.” Vanjie pulls a bit of her hair behind her ear. “They making sure we ain’t working together so we don’t murder each others asses-”
“Let that be a lesson kids-” Brooke smiles. “Don’t work with your partner. It will suck.”
“But we see those shows whenever we can!” Vanjie tongue pops, and Joseph claps, clearly very entertained by the ASMR quality of it, so Vanjie does it again.
“Tipping your boyfriend is a bit like tipping yourself.” Brooke smiles. “Even more if you do it like Jose does, and just take the others ones wallet.”
Vanjie’s jaw drops. “Bitch I did that once!” Vanjie hits Brooke, who laughs, her hand going to her own shoulder. “I was drunk off my ass!”
“That happened at the Branjie show, right?” Joseph chims in, and both Brooke and Vanjie nods.
“I just wanna say-” Vanjie takes a sip of her red bull, and Brooke lifts her own red solo cup. “When I’m out there performing, and my man is in the audience, I just wanna say thanks to all the fans that pretend they don’t see Brock all incocknigo-“
Brooke splutters her drink, her hand flying to her mouth, her eyes wide, and Vanjie stops.
“What?!” Vanjie throws out her arms. “What you acting for?”
“Nothing!” Brooke coughs into her hand, the drink clearly still in her throat. “Nothing.” Brooke thumps her chest once, before she looks at Vanjie, a smile on her face. “Continue please.”
Vanjie gives one last look, before she continues talking. “Hot stuff here ain’t exactly incocknigo-“
Brooke looks straight into the camera, Joseph snorting, Brooke’s eyes sparkling with mischief as Vanjie mispronounces the word again.
“Stop!” Vanjie yells, her hand slapping Brooke’s thigh, which makes Brooke laugh again. “Seriously what the fuck? Why you acting like this?”
“It-” Brooke wipes her eyes. “It’s incognito, not incocknigo, theres no cock there-”
“Oh-” Vanjie pauses, her mouth open a little, before she recovers. “Like it ain’t depending on what jeans you wearing.”
Joseph is crinkling a bag of chips in front of the microphone, the bright yellow packaging easily recognisable as hot cheetos. Vanjie looks at it like it’s stupid, her fingers coming through her wigs, while Brooke is pouring everyone drinks from a champagne bottle.
“Vanjie.” Joseph opens the bag, making sure the sound is picked up, before he holds the bag out for Vanjie.
“Good luck with that.” Brooke murmurs, the words only picked up because the microphones are so powerful, Brooke finishing pouring the drinks. Vanjie ignores Joseph.
“Taste one.” Joseph shakes the bag a little.
“I don’t eat hot food.” Vanjie’s nostrils flares slightly.
“You have to eat one.” Joseph smiles. “It’s ASMR.”
“Unless you Britney, I ain’t going in. Give it to B-” Vanjie points at Brooke, her long red nail standing out against the neon background.
“Don’t mind if I do.” Brooke smiles and reaches into the bag. The microphone picks up all the sounds. Brooke comes back with a giant handfull, and shows the all into her mouth at once.
“Ew!” Vanjie laughs, while Brooke just smiles, crunching away.
“Such a fucking lady.” Vanjie rolls her eyes, which makes Brooke laugh so hard she nearly chokes on the chips.
“So, Brooke-” Joseph looks up at Brooke, who’s breaking a cookie into tiny pieces, while Vanjie is making a cookie tower. “The next season of Drag Race Canada is airing soon.”
“It is.” Brooke nods.
“Can you tell us anything about the season to come?”
“No.” Brooke’s answer is short but not unfriendly.
“You trying to break into the vault right now mama, might as well give up.” Vanjie smiles, her cookie tower growing dangerously high. “It Guantanamo in there.”
“Well, what about you Vanessa?” Joseph turns his attention. “Do you know anything?”
“Nope,” Vanjie looks almost sad for a minute, before she perks up again. “My babe ain’t told me nothing.”
“For this exact reason.” Brooke smiles. “Bold and brave interviewers.”
Joseph has the decency to look a little shamed, though he still smiles brightly.
“Everyone who’s watching-” Vanjie looks into the camera. “I know what all y’all know, so stop asking.”
“You know what they say.” Brooke shrugs. “Two can keep a secret-” She taps her lips, “if the other one is dead.”
Vanjie laughs, her and Brooke’s chairs right next to each other, and Brooke puts an arm around the back of Vanjie’s.
“So no spills at all?” Joseph looks a little disappointed.
“This container is airtight.” Brooke smiles. “I am the host after all.”
Brooke leans down to pick something up from the floor, when her earrings dangle, the metal sound picked up on the microphone.
“Oh! Is that me?” Brooke moves her head, the sound getting picked up again.
“Ain’t this the good shit that people like?” Vanjie reaches out, and pokes Brooke’s earring, which makes Brooke laugh.
“Maybe I should take them out.” Brooke reaches up and towards her ear, but Vanjie pushes her hand away.
“Let me.” Vanjie unclicks Brooke’s earrings, her fingers working with a familiarity that makes it clear she’s done it a ton of times.
“You shown them your cover yet?”
Brooke and Vanjie are both sitting with their phones in hand, scrolling, and Brooke looks up at Vanjie’s question.
“Do you want me to show them?”
“You even asking that?”
“What’s your cover?” Joseph looks over, and Brooke titls her phone and parts her fingers so the camera can see. The back picture is Vanjie in a gorgeous champagne colored dress, the picture clearly taken in Vegas.
“Is that new merch?”
“Nu uh!” Vanjie smiles. “This the boyfriend exclusive.”
“My friend Courtney made it for me.” Brooke smiles. "So I always have a little piece of Vanj with me-”
Vanjie smiles again, pride and possessiveness radiating from her.
“Mine’s Riley.” Vanjie holds her cover up, and Brooke chuckles.
“It’s always good to know where you stand.”
“So-” Joseph claps his hands together. “Last text?”
“Well-” Brooke scrolls. “My last text message to Jose,” Brooke turns her phone around. “Is me asking about the receipt for the kitty litter he picked up so I could venmo my share.”
“And bitches be saying romance is dead.” Vanjie deadpans, a smile on her face.