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Infinite’s special sauce

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Sliding a golden arch-branded cap through large ear slits, a discontented jackal death glared himself through the small bathroom mirror. 


I was on top of the world. And now I am reduced to this…


Having lost his grip on mobiankind, he’d been found injured, rubyless, and at the mercy of the blue rat & co. They’d taken him into custody, and decided he would work his crimes off instead of rotting in a cell. Luckily he hadn’t been seen without his mask during his time as a warlord, and wouldn’t need to worry about a disguise. Sonic had begun snickering when the former supervillain inquired about the nature of work. He should have known then that it wouldn’t be a typical criminal’s labour…


He shifted his ankle monitor to conceal it under a sock, and folded the creases out of his shirt. Shoes scuffed the cheap linoleum flooring of the small apartment as he begrudgingly headed to work for his first shift.




He hated having to act like he didn’t wish ruin upon the planet. Being cordial with his new ‘co-workers’ was hell.


They should be my peons, not my equals.


He shuffled out towards the tills, and painted a frown not unpleasant expression on his face. His first customer was full of energy, and in his opinion, way too happy for a Monday evening.


This stupid wolf looks familiar. Just another dumb mobian I once had under my rule…


Internally shaking the thoughts to prevent himself from losing control, he did his best to remember the training videos he’d been forced to watch beforehand. 


“Hi, welcome to chili-heuurgh. McDonald’s. What can I get for you…”


The red bespectacled wolf babbled a few things, and Infinite was proud of how much he’d remembered from the videos.


“Is that all…”


He berated himself a second later for patting himself on the back over ringing an order in. He gathered the food, and shoved it into the red mobian’s arms as passive-aggressively as he could. As the wolf skittered out of the franchise with his goods, recognition hit the jackal. 


That shitty rookie! Of all people. At least he doesn’t recognize me…



He still had 4 more days to go before he was off for the weekend. On the second day, the wolf showed up in the evening once again. This time, he donned a little olive green jacket that stopped just above his tail. The former villain took a moment to absorb his features for real this time… particularly the aforementioned cute, bushy tail. 


That’s a pretty nice ass, I’ll give him that.




On day 3, the wolf continued to arrive for takeout right on the dot. 


With how much he eats here, I am astonished his ass looks that great. If this guy orders the same thing for the 3rd time, I’m jazzing right in his burger. 


Sure enough, the same order of a cheeseburger, fries, and ice cream sundae was placed. Infinite punched the items in and bolted towards the kitchen.


“I am new here and the till isn’t working properly. Can you check it?”


With a nod, the cook shuffled out towards the tills.




The chemicals that had flooded his brain afterward felt more exhilarating than his reign with the phantom ruby. He finished the order just in time for the cook to return, and passed it to the wolf with shaky hands. The jackal’s heart beat aggressively for the rest of his shift.


On day 4, the red canine showed up a little bit earlier than usual, and appeared overly eager for his food. Infinite thought nothing of it, but couldn’t help the creepy shiver that resonated through his body when a gloved hand made contact with his own. He’d personally prepared the food himself again. The moment his order was in his hands, the rookie almost ran out of the restaurant like someone lit his tail on fire.




It was the final day of his first week in McHell. Gadget, whose name he had learned through some surprisingly tolerable small talk, appeared just as the prophecies foretold. His posture was off, and he looked too excited again. Just as Infinite was about to autopilot his order into the till, Gadget spoke up.


"Maybe it’s just me, but my burgers have tasted a lot better the last couple days!”


Infinite didn’t know what came over him in the next moment. Well, he did. Luckily Gadget was too oblivious to catch the streak that had made it onto the countertop, and he swiped it off with a napkin.


Hopefully no one noticed that. What the hell?


“Can I get this for inside?”


He punched in the order and got personal with Gadget’s burger before placing everything on a tray. The wolf snatched it up and sauntered off towards a table on the other side of the restaurant. Business was picking up, so he didn’t have time to cloud his mind with his recently developed perverted thoughts. Strangely enough, he didn’t struggle to put on his customer service face as badly as he usually did. The supper rush went by surprisingly fast, and the last customer in line stepped forward.


It was Gadget again.


“This one was just as good! I noticed you started going to the kitchen whenever I order. If it’s you making them, I’d like to get another for the road.”


Again, he felt a white hot rush of joy shoot through his body, and the counter was soiled a moment later. Gadget was too busy bouncing around in place to notice the mess, but multiple customers and a co worker definitely weren’t. They all fled the building in shock and disgust. Mortified, he grabbed a pile of napkins and wiped it off, before speed walking to the kitchen. The cook had left, which made it easier to prepare the burger to Gadget’s liking. 




After his shift, Infinite went to the convenience store to purchase tomato and pineapple juice. He managed to convince himself that they were just coincidental cravings .




The former villain was getting worse with his ‘accidents’. Gadget had started coming twice a day for food, and Infinite was way too eager to prepare it. 


Halfway through his shift on the first day of his third week, he was pulled outside and detained by police officers. Moments later, the blue hedgehog he despised was in his face.


“I was told there were reports about you here. What kind of Chaos-damned stunt are you pulling?!”


The location manager stumbled out of the building.


“Ah, you’re here! This psychopath has been purposely jazzing on the counters! This is all I know from the few individuals who came forward.”


A cop choked on his own saliva and mumbled a moment later.


“That sounds similar to some other fuckery that has been going on in this city…”


Sonic balked.


“Who the hell even does that?! Take this clown into custody. I was expecting you’d cause trouble, but this is just…”


Infinite had no opportunity to get a word in before he was stuffed in the back of a cop car.




Bodily fluid testing revealed a perfect match to samples that had been found strewn all over the city in the last two weekends. The detained jackal sat cross-legged in a holding cell, begrudgingly facing an unimpressed blue hedgehog.


“Infinite, what the fuck.”


“I overstocked on tomato juice and have nothing to do on the weekends.”


“If I had known you were this disturbed, I wouldn’t have given you another chance!”


“I won’t do it again! I can’t help it.”


“What in Chaos do you mean , you ‘can’t help it’?!”


“Gadgetisalwaysaround and hemakesmefeelthings and then that happens and Idon’tevennotice until it’s too late and-”


Holy hell in a handbasket.


Infinite was silent as he realized how bad it all sounded - how bad it was, really. 


“Alright. Fine. You’ll get one more chance, but you’re gonna have to skip town and be assigned a new job. Luckily for you, your manager had no other complaints about your work ethic, otherwise you’d never see the outside world again. You’ll still be monitored just as you are now.”


Unmoving, the jackal could only nod. It was a better outcome than he’d expected.


“No more tomato juice though! I can’t even imagine what goes through your head on a day to day basis.”



That very same day, Infinite was up and relocating to the next city over. Luckily, Sonic’s influence had prevented the media from spreading his misdemeanors beyond the city limits. He packed the few belongings he owned into a small sedan given to him temporarily - it was programmed to be remotely controlled should he try to take any alternate routes. Sonic, his friends, and the authorities were all too disgusted to escort him personally. He made his way to the city outskirts, and pulled over next to the welcome sign. Feeling a surge of childishness wash over him, he exited the vehicle and stopped in front of the sign. He frowned, and thought of that sweet red wolf taking his- 


A moment later he was back in his vehicle, and admiring the sullied welcome sign. Just as he was about to hit the road, a blurb of red caught his peripherals. It grew closer and revealed itself. 


“Damnit, I shouldn’t have put the cleaning supplies in the trunk.”


The jackal wiped off the steering wheel’s underside with a handful of McDonald’s napkins, and rolled down the window.


“What are you doing here, wolf?”


Gadget fidgeted for a moment, and Infinite had to clench his legs together.


“I was wondering… if you wanted company in the new city maybe?”


Infinite cursed as he stumbled out of the car just in time. Gadget was unphased by the mess. The jackal took a moment to gather what little self-control he owned before replying.


“Yeah… I’d like that. A lot .”


Soft jazz resonated through the car stereo.