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Endgame Romanogers Fanfic

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- Because it's a boy!!!

Said the doctor and although Natasha already sensed that it would be a boy, the confirmation made her emotional. Just like Steve who had no preference but was very happy to know that he has a son.

Natasha: I need to see him.

Natasha asked.

- Of course! Of course! Let this distressed mother know her little boy, guys!

The doctor warned his team of nurses while he went back in front of Natasha to close the cut made during the baby's delivery.

Natasha: It's a boy, Steve!

Steve looked at Natasha and over the mask she could see his eyes shining, with tears wanting to come out, but contained.

Steve: Yes!

Natasha: I need him!

A nurse quickly cleaned the baby, wrapped him in a clean cloth and then took him close to Natasha's face who cried again when she saw her son for the first time, she thought he was the most perfect being in the world and despite the crying she was smiling.

Natasha: Oh, God!!!

Natasha kissed her son's face.

Natasha: Hi... hi baby...

The baby recognized Natasha's voice, he had been screaming a lot before and now he was drastically quiet when he heard her voice, but he couldn't see her face in the position that he was being held.

Natasha: You are so beautiful and so perfect.

Natasha couldn't stop smiling and crying at the same time.

- What's his name??

Natasha: I... I don't know...

Natasha couldn't even think and although she and Steve talked about names, they never got to define one, because they thought they would have time to decide in the last month of pregnancy.

There is a name that Steve suggested at that time, if the baby was a boy he would be call James, in honor of his dear friend Bucky Barnes, the Winter Soldier and if it was a girl... it would be Sarah, in honor of his mother. Steve even asked if Natasha would like to call the baby  as Clinton at the time, but because she was still upset with him, she said she didn't like the name.

- You do not know?? Haven't chosen any names yet?

Natasha: I Guess...

Natasha looked at Steve.

Natasha: James??

Steve looked at her fondly and nodded.

Steve: Yeah... It's James...

- Oh, so welcome to the world, James!

Natasha: I really want to hold him now.

- Soon, soon you will be able to hold him... the doctor is still operating on you... But you, Daddy, you can hold him now...

Said the nurse to Steve and he was even afraid to take something so small and fragile like that, he didn't even move, so the nurse came around and handed baby James over to his father’s arms.

Steve: I don’t think I know how to hold him...

- Oh, you do! Yes, you know how!

Steve was unsure and the baby was annoyed that he was not being held properly and he started to cry again.

Steve: Wow, it's not working!

Natasha: The head... Steve... support his head.

Natasha was anxious.

Steve: I'm trying.

Steve said and he was shaking a little, the nurse helped him to hold the baby properly.

- Yes, that’s right, just, like that... ready!

Steve: He's crying...

- Perfectly normal.

Natasha: Talk to him...

Steve looked at Natasha and she encouraged him, nodding with her head.

Steve looked at James again and his nervousness passed when he saw his son so close, he smiled even though he saw his son cry. It was incredible to know that that being in his arms was made by him and that he was born, that he is there and is his son. Never in his life, Steve could imagine that this could happen.

Steve: Ja-James... James... hi...

Steve said and James recognized his voice as well, he stopped crying but kept mumbling.

Steve: I'm so happy that you're here... my son...

Steve said, fascinated by baby James, who finally stopped grumbling and opened his little puffy eyes, he frowned when he saw Steve's face.

Steve: Hey buddy... there you are... now you’re calming down...

James gave Steve an unusual smile.

- Awn, he smiled!

The nurse commented when she noticed.

Natasha: Really??

Natasha was sad to have missed James' first smile, but it's okay to miss this moment for Steve.

Steve: Yes!

Steve brought James closer to Natasha again and she smelled his face, that was the best fragrance in the world.

Natasha: Is everything okay with him??

Natasha asked the nurse.

- Yes, he is perfect, even premature... did you see how he screamed?? He is a very strong and health baby.

Natasha felt a relief to know that her son is fine.

- Now I need to bathe him and weigh him too, okay?

Steve kissed the top of James' head and returned him to the nurse.

Natasha: Are you going to take him?? But already??

Natasha was agitated.

- Don't worry, Mom... he'll be fine. Soon he will come back to you.

The nurse took James to the hospital's standard procedures for premature newborns.

The doctor sewed Natasha back and then released her to go to the room and wait for James there.


About forty minutes later, in the private maternity room, Steve and Natasha were waiting for James to arrive in the room.

Natasha: Why is it taking so long??

Steve: When I went outside, the nurse said that is taking a little more of time because he was premature, he needed to be examinated.

Natasha: Exams?? What kind? He's very small!

Steve: I know, but this is a hospital, right? They know what they are doing.

Steve pondered.

Natasha: I don't like that, I want him here with me. With us. Go there again.

Steve: I've been three times there already, Natasha.

Natasha: But did you see him??

Steve: Yes, I saw him.

Natasha: But how do you know it was him?

Steve: Because he is my son.

Natasha: Babies look alike.

Steve: He was the only one with red hair and I would recognize him anywhere, even if he wasn't a redhead. Believe me.

Natasha sighed and Steve approached her bed.

Steve: Relax, it's okay.

Natasha: For you are okay... you held him. I didn’t...

Steve sat on the edge of the bed and put his hand over Natasha's.

Steve: He will come soon, there is no use being nervous now.

Natasha: I look at that cradle... empty...

Natasha referred to the hospital's cradle.

Natasha: And I feel empty... and I think of our first child, it was as if that place should be his, but we didn't have a chance to go through that.

Steve: Let’s not think about that now, we are so lucky to have James...

Natasha made negative with her head.

Natasha: I must be crazy because I'm missing someone I saw for so few seconds.

Steve: I'm also missing him.

Steve commented and Natasha stared at him, surprised that he felt the same as she did, maybe the two of them are on the same page about James.

Natasha: How was it?

Steve: What?

Natasha: Holding him in your arms... what did it feel like?

Steve sighed, remembering the moment.

Steve: The best feeling ever in my entire life.

Natasha was watching Steve, as if she needed more detail.

Steve: Hearing him cry, it was incredible. It's strange because I shouldn't be happy with his crying, but... after that first scare, his crying was like listening to music.

Natasha smiled.

Natasha: I felt the same.

Steve: He's so small... his skin is so soft and delicate, I was afraid to break him but then... I just wanted to hold him forever.

Natasha continued to smile while listening.

Steve: And I loved him right away and soon I realized that... I can never live without him from now on.

Natasha smiled more and she was going to answer something, but the bedroom door was opened.

- Good night, Mommy and Daddy... I am back!

Said the nurse who came in with James on her lap, smiling.

Natasha soon reached out to receive her son and when the nurse placed him in her arms and she felt his weight, his texture and the temperature of his skin, she felt overwhelmed with a feeling of happiness that she never felt before.

Steve's entire description doesn't even compare to the feeling she is feeling right now. Natasha's eyes only knew how to travel all over James' body, she analyzed every little bit of him, memorizing him and his ways.

- Is him your first child?

Steve: Yes.

Steve responded and Natasha hated having her moment of acquaintance with James interrupted by strange voices.

- I'll bring the crib closer.

Why if I will never release him again? Natasha thought and looked back at James, she stroked his cheek.

I'll never let you go, James. I don't believe I love you that much. Everything changes now. Natasha thought, watching James yawn and stretch out his hands.

Natasha took his little hand and James gripped one of Natasha's fingers tightly.

Natasha: Hi... James... that's your name... James.

James sketched a little sound that made Natasha smile.

Natasha: Yes! James... and I am your mother and that is your father... Steve.

Natasha looked briefly at Steve who looked back at ther and smiled.

James grimaced and then became more agitated, it didn't take long before he started grumbling.

Natasha: No, no, James... it's okay. It’s Okay...

James increased his grunt and started to cry.

Natasha: Oh hush, hush...

Steve: What is it??

Steve tensed.

- He's hungry... he was sucking his little hand madly. You need to breastfeed him...

Natasha looked at the nurse as if she had said some kind of nonsense.

Having to breastfeed the child is an obvious thing, Natasha already knew that but she never considered that she would be breastfeeding someone... so how is it done, anyway?

- It's your first time, so that's okay, I'll help you. Stay calm.

Natasha: I have no idea what to do, do I just put him on my breast?

- Basically... yes.

The nurse came around the bed and helped Natasha lower the hospital gown.

- Like that...

The nurse encouraged when Natasha brought James' face to her breast, but because he was crying, he didn't want to take her breast right away, it took him a few moments to finally accept the breast and try to suck the milk.

Natasha frowned at the pain she felt when James managed to fit his mouth to her breast.

Natasha: Is it normal to feel a little pain?

- Yes.

Natasha: Nothing seems to be coming out...

The nurse squeezed Natasha's breast and watched as James was nursing, he was doing the right thing, which was sucking but he seemed to be working hard for it, so much that it made him nervous and he started to grumble and then cry.

Natasha: Is it working?? Why doesn't he take it??

- We have to insist...

Steve was away from the bed and just watched the scene carefully, he doesn't know how to help and he is sure that he couldn't help in that regard.

James tried to suck again, he even sucked hard, very little came out and he was very hungry.

At this age, the baby's way of informing that he needs something is crying, so he started crying again.

- He's hungry, so he's like that.

Natasha: And what can I do to help? I am trying!

- I know you are... first of all, you need to stay calm. The baby feels when you are nervous, you need to be calm for him to feel calm.

Natasha took three deep breaths until she was calm.

Nobody else can do that but you, Natasha. Stay calm... for him. You can do it. Natasha told herself and took a last breath, then looked at more calmly.

Natasha: Hush...

Natasha asked James to calm down, but he didn't stop crying, he only stopped when Natasha put him in her breast again, she made a small expression of pain and James was calmer when he sucked again, but he continued grumbling.

Natasha: James... let's help each other now... I'm doing everything I can to make you feel good. I know it's hard to suck, I know, but you have to try.

James listened to Natasha and he pays more attention to her when she is calm, just like now, so that has appeased him more, he has lessened his grumblings little by little and concentrated on breastfeeding.

The nurse put a hand on Natasha's shoulder and looked at her with an approving smile.

- All right. Good night, guys.

Natasha just made positive with her head.

Steve: Thank you very much for all the help!

Steve spoke and his voice made James grumble.

Natasha: Sh...

Natasha said to James and then Steve opened the bedroom door for the nurse to leave, he closed the door and approached Natasha.

Steve: Now he is doing right?

Natasha: Yes...

Natasha commented, while watching James suck, who again grunted for hearing voices.

Steve: He's still mumbling.

Natasha: Yes, but I'm giving it to him...

Natasha justified and James grunted more, looking like he wanted to cry now.

Steve: What does he want?

Natasha lifted her shoulders and made negative with her head, James got angry and started crying again.

Natasha: Oh no, no... shh... James, come on...

Natasha tried to get James to nurse and he accepted again. Steve was silent to see if he calmed down and he calmed down but Steve didn't understand that all that the baby wanted was silence.

Steve: Now peace again...

James already grunted and Steve frowned.

Natasha: I think he doesn't like the noise, Steve...

Steve: Oh!

Steve put his finger in his mouth, indicating that he would be quiet, Natasha nodded and went back to watching James nurse.

Steve decided to go to the couch and wait, he took the opportunity to finally reply that text messages from colleagues and inform about the conditions of Natasha and the baby, in addition to announcing the name of their son.

Steve responded to all congratulatory messages received, in groups and privately.

While doing this, Steve sighed without realizing it, he wondered what it would be like to tell Sam and Bucky that he had a son. He was imagining telling to his two best friends that Natasha was pregnant and pregnant with him, how amazed they would be and say it was some joke and when they understood that it was real, the two would be super happy.

Steve imagined that the two would even be in the hospital, waiting for a chance to see their son and how much Bucky would be thrilled to learn that James carries his name. Steve can imagine even the jealousy that Sam would feel over the baby’s name and it made him smile alone and make negative with his head.

Natasha: Steve?

Natasha called very quietly and Steve didn't even hear.

Natasha: Steve??

Steve looked at Natasha and she called out him with her head. Steve approached Natasha and noticed that James was sleeping.

Natasha: Can you put him in the crib?

Steve: I think so.

Natasha: Do you think or are you sure you can do that?

Steve: I can do it.

Natasha: Take him, I need to use the bathroom...

Natasha handed James to Steve and he was sleeping soundly so he didn't wake up.

Steve rocked James slightly, looking at him and then looked at Natasha who got off the bed and at that time Steve noticed the bloodstained nightgown.

Steve: Natasha! You're bleeding!

Natasha looked at the outfit.

Natasha: Oh, yeah ... it's the stitches, they opened...

Natasha said as if it was nothing.

Steve: Did you already know that??

Natasha: Yes, I was open and they didn't close me properly, I felt it.

Steve: Why didn't you say anything???

Steve was in shock.

Natasha: I was breastfeeding...

Natasha justified as if it were obvious.

Steve: I will call a doctor.

Natasha: No, no... I don't want to put a probe in me, I'll go to the bathroom first. When I leave, you can call the doctor. But another one... that closes me right... makes him understand that if he sews me wrong, I will be forced to open his huge belly and do the same with him.

Steve: Natasha don't say that kind of thing around the baby.

Natasha: He has hours of life, Steve. He doesn't understand.

Natasha declared and went into the bathroom, but from inside she heard Steve talking to the baby.

Steve: She didn't mean that... your mother is not that violent... you saw how she treats you, didn't you?? Yeah... she loves you and I love you too.

Natasha rolled her eyes, but she was smiling.

Minutes later Natasha came out of the bathroom and saw Steve walking around the room with James on his lap.

Natasha: Steve, why isn't he in the crib?

Steve: I couldn't let him go, I'm sorry.

Natasha smiled.

Natasha: I know the feeling.

Steve: But I will put him now.

Natasha: No, you can keep him in your arms...

Steve: Natasha, you have the stitches open.

Steve remembered her and went to the crib to put James there, then he went out of the room in search of a doctor, which took a while. When Steve returned to the room, accompanied by the doctor Natasha was trying to calm James who had woken up in the meantime.

- Hello, let's see these stitches??

Natasha: I can't now.

- We need to close the stitches.

Natasha: My son is breastfeeding.

- Mrs...

Natasha: Doctor... if you give me the needle I can close the stitches myself while breastfeeding.

- But...

Natasha: You can close the stitches right here.

- All anesthetic material is in the operating room.

Natasha: I don't need anesthesia.

- But...

Natasha lifted her shirt, showing the stitches.

Natasha: You can close the stitches now or you can give me the instruments and Steve does it instead.

Steve: What?? Me???

Steve looked confused at Natasha.

Natasha: You don't know how to give stitches, soldier??

Steve: I do, but ...

Natasha: So it’s okay.

Steve: Natasha, I'm too rough for that...

Natasha: Okay, so I’ll do it.

- I will, do it, Mrs... Rogers.

Natasha: It’s miss. And it's Miss Romanoff!

- Can you call the nurse, please?

The doctor waited for the nurse to arrive and he really had to close Natasha's stitches while she breastfed James. James stopped breastfeeding and Steve picked him up, and the doctor was able to finish the stitching process.

When the doctor announced that he was finished, James was already crying desperately again.

Steve: What is it, James?

Natasha: He can't be hungry, he suckled three times in a row...

- The correct thing is to breastfeed whenever he asks.

Natasha: I'm not denying it to him, I just think it's strange, he spent a long time nursing.

- He's a strong boy. This phase is like that. Don't worry, he is premature, so he needs to be satisfied, while he were inside your belly he received what he needed, now he is out, he needs to be fed to stay healthy.

The doctor said and continued...

- Breastfeeding is extremely important in the first months of life, it is essential at this stage of life, its excess is not harmful, but the lack can be. Do you feel pain when breastfeeding?

Natasha nodded.

Natasha: A little.

Steve: Is this normal?

- Yes it is. Especially in the first few weeks, but it gets better, don't give up on it.

Steve: She didn't give up breastfeeding even to have her belly cut closed now, doctor...

Steve remembered and the doctor nodded.

- It is true. It was the first time I went through this. She didn't even scowl.

The doctor commented and then left the room. Natasha continued breastfeeding James and he even emptied her two breasts, so he soon started to cry again.

Natasha: Now there's nothing left... I don't know what to do.

Steve called a nurse and she said that it is normal for the breasts to empty, but that they would fill again. She stressed that emptying both breasts was a sign that he suckled what he needed and even more for that age, she considered that crying was for another reason.

The nurse tested whether they were gases, whether it was sleep or pain, and ended up calling it as nothing to worry.

Natasha and Steve believed it was nothing to be worried, because shortly afterwards he fell asleep and was calm.

James' sleep was very short, lasting less than an hour. He woke up already screaming and Natasha, who had fallen asleep too, woke up scared.

Steve: Nat, wait... the doctor asked you to rest. I'll get him.

Steve held James in his arms and tried to calm him down, but it wasn't working.

Steve: It is not possible that he is hunger.

Natasha: You heard the doctor, newborns are hungry all the time. Bring him to me.

Steve handed James to Natasha and she accommodated him to breastfeed. James sucked until he was almost purple from so much force but nothing came out. Natasha pressed to help, but it wasn't working.

Natasha: Nothing is coming out.

Steve: Try the other breast.

Natasha followed Steve's suggestion and also no milk.

Natasha: Steve, nothing is coming out.

Steve: Maybe it didn't have time to fill up.

Natasha: Yes, it can only be that... but what now ?? Will he be crying ?? Hungry??

Steve scratched his head, the little Natasha knows about babies, he knows even less.

Steve: I think I'm going to go for a walk with him.

Natasha: In the street???

Steve: No, here... down the hall.

Natasha frowned, but didn't know what to think about it.

Natasha: Okay...

Steve took James and left the room with him, as soon as he arrived in the hall, James seemed calmer, he just mumbled, but when he took his hand in his mouth, he sucked hard and cried again.

- He is hungry.

Said a woman at the door to a room in the hall.

- Poor baby, sucking his hand.

Steve: He just nursed a half na hour ago.

- Then it's time again.

Steve: But no more milk is coming out, my Girl’s breast hasn't filled.

- Oh... is she nervous?

Steve: I don't think so. I don’t know.

- He's hungry, he needs to nurse. Talk to the nurse... I'm breastfeeding too, I can help and breastfeed him for you.

Steve: Hm...

Steve didn't know what to say, it didn't seem normal for James to breastfeed another woman but maybe it's common, but as he doesn't know if it's normal, he went to the nurses' station and reported what was going on.

First the nurse went to check on Natasha and check that her breasts weren't really filling, after realizing that she still didn't have enough milk, the nurse warned that two measures could be taken... one would be to leave the woman who offered to breastfeed James, another would be to feed it special milk for newborns. She left the decision to Natasha.

Natasha: What if we waited a little longer?

Natasha asked and held out her arms to Steve, asking to pick James up.

Steve handed James to Natasha.

Natasha: Maybe in a few minutes it will fill and I can do it.

- Okay... I'll be back at my station, anything you’ll need, just call me.

The nurse left and Natasha took care that James forgot about nursing for a time, she talked to him a lot, even made him smile several times, then made him sleep for another hour, until he woke up crying again, she asked Steve to change James' diaper and done that, she tried to breastfeed again, but unfortunately none of her breasts filled up again.

Natasha: How long does it take to fill??

Steve: I have no idea, Nat.

Natasha: He’ so hungry, poor thing. What should I do?

Steve shrugged his shoulders.

Natasha: You are not helping, Steve.

Steve: I will research about it, wait...

Steve took out his cell phone and started researching breastfeeding and the times between each feed.

Steve: All it says here is that the time for each feeding should not be regulated, that the baby should breastfeed whenever he wishes.

Natasha: Yes, the doctor already said that here and I'm trying all the time, but nothing is coming out. The worst part about that is that he is hungry, Steve...

Natasha said, feeling very distressed to see James in that state.

Natasha: I didn't want to...

Natasha looked at James.

Natasha: I didn't want another woman breastfeeding him, this moment should be mine.

Steve: If that doesn't make you comfortable, you don't have to let another woman breastfeed him.

Natasha: But he needs breast milk, you heard the doctor. The formula is not the same.

Natasha pondered and took a deep breath and approached James to her face, she kissed his face.

Natasha: What am I doing wrong?

Natasha asked herself.

Steve: I don't think you’re doing anything wrong, Nat.

Natasha: My son is crying from hunger and I can't feed him. This is a nightmare!

Steve: Calm down, Nat. This is just now, in a little while you will start producing milk again. You will see. It's all right.

Steve encouraged and Natasha ended up letting James be breastfed by another woman provisionally and that almost killed her with jealousy.

As James was born healthy, with normal weight and height, Natasha would be discharged the day after the delivery, but until the time of discharge, she had not produced milk yet, so they decided to leave her there for another two and a half days, until they realized that there is something wrong with her milk production.

In the end, Natasha received the verdict that she wasn't actually producing milk and she was very nervous about James' development, as everyone stressed all the time how essential breast milk is.

The amount of questions about whether she was nervous and whether she was constantly offering her breast to James, because it stimulates milk production, made her believe that it was all her fault.

It is true that the more the baby nurses, the more the mother produces milk and that nervousness can disrupt the milk output for the child, but the nervousness only disrupts the milk output, does not stop milk production and even so Natasha never denied nursing James, she tried to breastfeed every time he cried, even when they went home, she kept trying to get back to breastfeeding, but she didn't even feel that her breasts were producing milk anymore.

Following medical guidelines, Natasha used the hospital's breast milk bank and supplemented it with special milk as well. Steve and Rhodey helped by picking milk from the hospital and taking it home and although Steve wanted to give James the bottles, he understood when Natasha became extremely possessive of James and only she could give him the bottle.

Steve knows how hurt and guilty she was about the breastfeeding issue, but the truth is that he can only imagine what she has been feeling.

A few weeks later, Steve came into the room with a Styrofoam box.

Steve: I brought more milk...

Natasha: Sh...

Natasha asked for silence.

Natasha: He's almost asleep.

Steve: Is he satisfied already?

Natasha: Yes.

Steve: Then I'll leave these for later.

Steve commented and placed the box on the dresser, then he went to the bathroom, washed his hands well and returned to the room, he sat next to Natasha and watched her.

Steve: Are you all right?

Natasha shrugged, looking at James.

Steve: You’ve been so quiet lately.

Natasha said nothing. Steve put his hand on Natasha's thigh to make her look at him.

Steve: We didn't have an opportunity to talk about you.

Natasha looked at Steve.

Natasha: About me??

Steve: Yes... I feel like we're moving away from one another.

Natasha: Oh...

Natasha snorted and rolled her eyes.

Natasha: What are you going to say, Steve? Do you need attention?? That I only take care of James?? Is that was all about??? Please, do not start...

Steve: N-No... it wasn't that. I was going to ask what I can do to make you feel better... because now James is much better with the bottles, he is sleeping more, he doesn't cry all the time, but you still look tired and sad.

Natasha was looking at Steve and she swore that he would complain about attention, she did not expect this type of conversation and although she is feeling bad, she does not know how to put it into words without looking sentimental.

Steve: Do I have to do more?

Steve asked and Natasha followed in silence.

Natasha was reflecting on Steve and his help as a father, they basically share the same amount of time taking care of the baby, but she spends more time with him because she wants and for being on guard, she needs Steve to replace her in the activities of the Avengers Facility. So, so far, Steve has done everything he can.

Steve: I wish I could do more...

Steve justified with Natasha's silence, which made her take a deep breath and make negative with her head.

Natasha: You have been helping me, Steve. A lot. I'm like this and this is not because of you...

Steve: Is it for James? Is he overwhelming you?

Natasha shook her head.

Natasha: It's not his fault too, I love him very much and I'm more than happy to be able to take care of him.

Steve: What's the matter then?

Natasha: The problem is that...

Natasha paused.

Natasha: Is that I feel...

Natasha couldn't say.

Natasha: A failure.

Steve: You??

Natasha: Yes. As a mother.

Steve: Natasha you are being great with James. Honestly, I thought you wouldn't have all that patience with him, but you've been a great mother.

Natasha: It's not about that, Steve.

Steve: What is it about?

Natasha: About... I can't feed him.

Steve: Oh... that...

Natasha: Yes! That!

Steve: I understand that it annoys you, but... we had a solution, he is being feed and he looks great.

Natasha: He could be better!

Steve: Better than that?? Look at him, he's not sick, he's growing up as he should be. The specialists even said that he is very strong, he doesn't look premature... he's healthy.

Natasha: I know, but... what if there was no other woman to breastfeed him?? What if there was no special milk?? He would starve to death!

Steve: Wait a minute, wich of these situations that are you thinking about are realistics?

Natasha shrugged.

Steve: You cannot be sad for hypotheses with zero chances of happening. Keep that in mind. It happened that you couldn't breastfeed but it also happened that we had solutions for James. We will not think about the past and what went wrong, only foward.

Steve warned.

Steve: I want this to be a great experience for you, for me and James. Let's enjoy the moment, Natasha. Thanos took us a lot, but God gave us James... and James...

Steve put his hand on James' head and stroked his red hair.

Steve: James is our new chance, it is our reason to persist in winning in this life, to get up and do our things. Let's live, Natasha. Let's live now.

Natasha heard everything Steve said and the words touched her heart and her obsessive mind, she is not enjoying motherhood as she should be just because she is thinking only of the fact that she cannot breastfeed her child and she has no control over it anymore, so it's time to overcome and move forward with what she has.

Natasha looked at the small being in her arms, she gave a small smile.

As if what I have here is just a tiny thing... It’s not tiny, it’s huge. I have everything. I have the world for having you... James. Natasha thought, admiring James.


7 months later ...

Steve: Did you and Okoye complete the mission?

Natasha: Yes, successfully.

Steve: How are things in Wakanda without T’Challa?

Natasha: She is doing a good job.

Steve: We can send someone to help her... maybe Rhodey.

Natasha: No, we need Rhodey to inspect specific locations. Maybe I should stay longer.

Natasha suggested and noticed the deadly silence on the video call.

Steve: Do you think it is necessary?

Steve asked, very dry.

Natasha: No... Okoye can do everything but sometimes she gets overwhelmed.

Steve: If it's just sometimes, she doesn't need you there all the time.

Natasha: Yes, it seems not.

Steve: And you can't stay there longer because of James...

Steve justified.

Natasha: Oh, yeah, right... only because of him... it's true.

Steve: And for me...

Steve completed and Natasha laughed softly.

Natasha: Speaking of him... how is he doing?

Steve: He's great.

Natasha: Cryed a lot?

Steve: Not much... he likes me to walk around the base with him. Oh! He's almost crawling. Want to see it?

Natasha: Of course! Did you think I called just to see your pair of blue eyes??

Natasha joked and Steve smiled, he pointed the camera at James who was on the bed.

Natasha: James!!!

James was startled to hear Natasha's voice, he looked around looking for her.

Steve: Here, James... look here, it’s your mommy.

Steve shook out his cell phone to draw James’ atention.

Natasha: Here, James... hi...

James looked at the cell phone and when he saw Natasha, he started to smile.

Natasha: Hi, my love... I miss you!

- Natasha? The jet is ready.

Okoye said when entering the room where Natasha was.

Natasha: All right.

Okoye: Is that James??

Natasha: Yes.

Natasha smiled.

Okoye came over to see James.

Okoye: Oh... by the gods, how adorable he is!

Steve: Hello, Okoye.

Okoye: Steve! Are you okay?

Steve: Yes and you?

Okoye: It's okay here too. I was preparing the jet for Natasha's return. I bet you miss her.

Steve: A lot! Please return Natasha for us.

Natasha: I'm going to hang up because Steve is getting sentimental.

Okoye: I wait for you outside.

Okoye left the room and Natasha looked at the video, by the way... she looked at Steve.

Natasha: See you in a few hours.

Steve smiled and nodded.


Two more months later... Natasha was boxing at the Avengers base academy when she got a call from Pepper Potts.

Natasha put the call on speaker to be able to continue training.

Natasha: Pepper...

Pepper: Hello, Natasha! How are you doing?

Natasha: Well, how about you? And how is Morgan doing??

Pepper: I'm fine, Morgan’s fine too. And James?

Natasha: James is great.

Pepper: Is he a good or naughty boy? He seems to be naughty.

Natasha: No, he isn’t.

Pepper: No?? Doesn't he demands a lot of work?

Natasha: Nothing more than necessary...

Natasha said paused because she was punching the boxing bag.

Natasha: I am even training and he is here with me... without complaining and without crying, thanks to the chair you gave us as a gift.

Pepper: This chair is a relic, Morgan used it regularly, but she was more of a lap baby, so she didn't spend much time in it.

Natasha: Well, James is already the opposite... he even likes to be held but he stays in the baby seat and in the crib for a long time, without crying.

Pepper: This is great. I am waiting for your visit.

Natasha: You are, but what about Tony??

Pepper: Oh! Don't mind him.

Natasha: He doesn't want to see Steve.

Pepper: He's already been more resentful, he's improved a lot.

Natasha: I understand but it will be strange when we meet again. We prefer to give him some space.

Pepper: Oh, these men!

Natasha: Yeah...

James: Mom... mom... mommy...

Natasha stopped punching the boxing bag and looked at James.

Natasha: Someone is hungry. I need to go, Pepper.

Pepper: Okay. Send a kiss for him! And for Steve! Say I sent my regards!

Natasha: I will. Bye.

Natasha ended the call, she wiped her forehead with a towel to wipe the sweat and approached James.

Natasha: Is it time for a bottle? Or how about eating a fruit? Let's go for fruit because mommy wants one too... let's see if your dad wants to snack with us...

Natasha took James' chair and carried it to the meeting room, where Steve was.

Natasha: Hello, daddy...

Steve: Hi!

Natasha: What are you doing?

Steve: Writing an essay for that anonymous snap group meeting.

Natasha: Oh... what do you have to say?

Steve: About what hurt most at the Snap Day and what came out of it best.

Natasha: And you already know what to write?

Steve: Yes. In pain... our first child and friends. The best... our second son and... you.

Natasha nodded.

Natasha: We have that in common, so...

Steve: Sometimes I wonder if James would have an older brother to be playing with now.

Natasha: I think about it all the time, I just don't allow myself to be sad anymore.

Steve nodded in agreement.

Natasha: We were going to have a snack... do you want to join us both??

Steve: How could I refuse an invitation like that?

Steve smiled and closed the notebook, then joined Natasha and James for a snack.


2 years later...

Steve: Why not??

Natasha: Why now??

Steve: Do you want to stop answering questions with another question?

- Daddy?

Natasha: Oh, James! You woke up! Shall we comb this hair out?

Natasha commented when she saw James standing in the crib.

Steve walked in front of Natasha.

Steve: Stop messing with me, Natasha.

Natasha: But by God, Steve! What do you want?

Steve: You!

Natasha: But you already have me! I've told you a thousand times. How is that not enough?

Steve: It is enough, and as it is, you should accept my marriage proposal.

Natasha sighed.

Natasha: I'm not going to say yes or no... yet!

Natasha pondered.

Natasha: I will think about it. Pleased?

Steve: Not really...

Natasha: Better than the other times that the answer was no, so...

- Hey! Hey!!! Anybody here?

Steve and Natasha looked at each other and frowned, then looked at the film screens that showed the entrance to the Avengers’ building.

Steve and Natasha were perplexed to recognize Scott Lang, he was gone during the Snap, so how can he be right there now???