I closed my eyes and held on tight as Jamie leapt out of the hayloft window, landing on all fours and launching straight into a run.
It was strange, to be sure, to quite literally ride the back of a man. I thought that if anyone were to see us we would be quite the sight, but I didn’t care, and laughed merrily into the night.
I didn’t know where Jamie planned on going. The woods surrounding the estate were quiet and peaceful, but were dotted with neighboring homes and farms, and although it was dark, it wasn’t yet late, and anyone could be about. When he headed back toward the house, I wondered if he’d simply changed his mind about returning to the party.
But then he skirted around to the side of the house, not hesitating before leaping over some befuddled pigs in their pen to propel himself off the chicken coop and onto one of the lower outhangings of the house.
I was mesmerized by the strength in his hands as they faultlessly found bricks and vines along the outer wall to climb up and up, never faltering as before I knew it, we were at the top floor of the house, and at his bedroom window.
I chanced a glance downward, tightening my grip on Jamie’s neck reflexively, but he only smirked back at me, then pushed open the window and climbed inside.
My knees were a little weak when he put me down, but perhaps it wasn’t only because of the ride.
“Well then,” I said, hearing the nervous wavering in my voice. “You have me alone...what now?”
Jamie acted like he wasn’t listening, but stepped closer, leaning down as if to kiss my neck, but he remained a breath away, only the tip of his nose grazing my skin and making my own breath catch in my throat.
“Do you like the way I smell?” I asked, fully realizing that I was rambling. “You did that when we first met as well.”
“Aye,” he whispered. “Especially when ye want me.”
“When I…” I was brought up short, my desire-fogged brain catching up to what he meant. “You can tell that just by smelling me?”
He chuckled. “Yes, Sassenach.”
He closed the distance between us, fastening his lips to my neck before running his tongue up the length of it, alternating licks and tiny nips so that I knew that I would have marks, but couldn’t find it in me to mind.
“Are you sure about this?” I whispered, even as I held his head firmly to me as he moved down to my chest, nosing at the neckline of my gown.
“About what?” he asked, not looking up from what he was doing.
My heart melted at his naïveté, thinking he must not understand where I’d assumed this was going.
“About...about what we’re doing Jamie,” I said, needing him to understand before this went any farther.
He chuckled, and looked up at me, eyes dancing. “Ye mean like when Allistair ravished Emilia?”
I tried not to let myself be distracted by the surprising feeling I got hearing Jamie say ravished with his rolling R’s. “Yes like...wait a second, are you the one who stole my book?”
Jamie grinned sheepishly, stepping away only to retrieve my missing book from inside his trunk and offer it to me.
“Why you sneak!” I laughed. “You must have read all those parts I always skipped, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” he confirmed. “Didn’a understand them all, but that one I figured out. D’ye want me to ravish you, Sassenach?”
I felt my stomach clench again at the sound of that word. And the bastard could tell, too, judging by his smug expression. “Fuck,” I murmured.
Jamie tilted his head to one side, suddenly turning genuinely curious, and his easy switch between smirking seductorer and green lad was almost too sweet for me to handle. “What does that mean?” he asked.
I chuckled, blushing at how my voice cracked. “It means the same thing as ravish, more or less.”
“Oh…” he said, then grabbed me by the waist, pulling me close until I put a hand on his chest to stop him.
“Wait…” I said. “The door…”
“Lock it, silly.”
Jamie gave me a look that said he didn’t quite know why that was so important, but did as I asked, turning the lock with an exaggerated motion that made me laugh, which in turn dispelled a little of my nervousness.
When he returned to me, he wrapped me in his arms again, but merely held me there, and I was soothed by the contact.
“I um...I have done this before,” I admitted, wishing to be fully honest with him. “With erm...other men...do you understand?”
Knowing of his jealousy, I was nervous about telling him. Of course most men might be shocked or put off, and if they weren’t it would be likely they pegged me as a whore to start with.
But Jamie showed neither surprise or jealousy, but simple understanding. “Oh?”
I nodded, glad he wasn’t offended. But then came my next question, and it was something I’d shamefully wondered since the early days or our acquaintanceship. I wasn’t sure at all how to put it tactfully.
“And...you?” I ventured. “Have...have you…”
“Mated?” he asked, chuckling. “With who ?”
I looked up at him from beneath my eyelashes, silently imploring him to get it without me having to explicitly say the words. “I only mean…you mightn’t have known any better...and I wouldn’t be upset or anything...I would understand if, perhaps as an adolescent especially you might have had a…a need...and the gorillas were your family…”
Before I even finished the sentence, Jamie was laughing. “Did Jamie mate with gorilla?” he asked incredulously, seeming not to notice his brief regression in language. “What gorilla would have me?”
“One who sees what a strapping specimen you are!” I argued, shoving ineffectively at him for laughing at me.
He shook his head. “No, Sassenach. I never had the want. Even though I lived as gorilla, I always knew I was not one...and they knew, too. To have approached me as a mate would have been verra shameful.”
“Well,” I sniffed. “Their loss.”
He smiled. “I am glad one of us knows what to do.”
Jamie kissed the smile off my lips, and I melted into him again, feeling the way the muscles in his back tensed in barely-restrained desire.
I started unbuttoning his shirt, and he quickly took over the task, anxious (as always) to be rid of the constricting clothes.
I’d seen Jamie naked more times than I could count. I’d even seen him in a state of...excitement, as he was now. But it never failed to take my breath away, and now I was practically trembling in want...but also in nerves.
“Well?” I prompted, grabbing one of his hands, and bringing it up to the buttons on the front of my gown. “Aren’t you going to lend me a hand?”
Jamie’s genuine look of surprise almost made me laugh. It was like he’d expected to be nude, but not me . His fingers, while strong and dexterous, weren’t used to such delicate work as undoing tiny pearl buttons, and he furrowed his brow in concentration, until I took pity and finished the job, letting the gown fall to the floor.
This time I did laugh at Jamie’s disappointed expression when he realized how many layers were left.
“Trust me, I miss being able to go about wearing nothing but my chemise and a sarong,” I said. “But polite society just loves a corset and petticoats.”
“Looks uncomfortable,” Jamie muttered.
“Dreadfully. Help me out of them?”
It took quite a bit of work and awkward laughing until I was down to just my chemise, and when I slid that off, Jamie stood back in wonder.
I knew he had seen a naked woman before. The women of the tribe bathed in the open, and frequently walked about with their breasts bared. I also knew he’d snuck peeks at me a time or two. But he stared at me like he’d never seen anything like me, and it warmed me, even as it made me a little self-conscious.
“You can touch me,” I whispered, grabbing his hand and bringing it to my breast.
He easily took over, massaging my breast and appearing almost mesmerized by it. He licked his lips, but furrowed his brow in consternation, as if unsure how to proceed.
“It’s alright,” I said, cupping his cheek in my palm. “Do whatever feels good, Jamie.”
Glancing once more at my face to be assured of my sincerity, Jamie bent and took my nipple into his mouth, sucking hard before moving and first licking, then biting the understand.
There was pain when he bit me, but I tangled my hands in his hair so that he wouldn’t stop. I’d known from the start that he might not be able to keep himself from hurting me, and it had been an odd realization for me that far from minding...I’d been looking forward to it.
I also knew that this first time at least would be about him, not me, but I relished that as well. Ever since I met him so much of my life had become about him, and less about me. I understood why that might concern Uncle Lamb, but what he just didn’t see yet was my very heart was no longer my own, but it was alright, because Jamie had given me his for safe keeping.
I wasn’t surprised when Jamie tried to turn me around to face away from him, but I resisted, wanting to see his face. It was clear he found that peculiar, but didn’t argue.
I fell back onto the bed, pulling him with me so that he was stretched at length on top of me.
He didn’t break his stride, kissing and licking every inch of me that he could reach. Even though I’d decided that this was about him, I felt like I could reach my own pleasure just from this alone.
He crawled lower, following his nose so-to-speak, until he was brought to the juncture between my thighs, much as he had the night we met. This time, he looked to me for guidance and permission, and I nodded, wanting him to do whatever it was that pleased him, even if it felt a little strange to me.
And pleased he was as he hummed happily, nuzzling my navel before going lower.
I fought back embarrassment as he nosed me there , then nearly leapt off the bed when he took a curious lick.
Jamie looked up at me in alarm. “Is that not...done?” he asked, struggling for words.
“I honestly don’t know,” I whispered, trying to get myself together. “But by God did it feel good…”
Jamie did it again, this time smiling up at me when I squirmed.
“Get up here,” I growled, getting a handful of his hair and hauling up to me so that I could kiss him.
I snuck a hand between us, wrapping it around him and marveling...with just a little bit of trepidation...the sheer size of him.
Jamie grunted, moving into my hand, and I knew that he wasn’t going to last long, so I gently guided him to me, wrapping my legs around his hips.
“It’s alright,” I said as he hesitated in uncertainty. “Do it, Jamie.”
Jamie’s eyes flashed as he snapped his hips forward, thrusting into me and setting a rapid, desperate pace.
I held onto him for dear life, biting his shoulder and feeling more than hearing him growl in response before he bit my shoulder in turn, sinking sharp teeth into my flesh in a way that should have hurt, but only made me cry out in pleasure.
I felt the heat of his release inside me, realizing a moment too late that I probably should have instructed him to finish outside of my body, but I only clung closer, letting him ride out his pleasure.
After a moment he collapsed on top of me, spent, and I embraced his weight until it grew difficult to breath, so I gently nudged him to roll to my side.
I smiled at his sleepily dumb-founded expression, running my fingers along his jaw.
“How do you feel?” I whispered.
Jamie smiled. “Do not know how to say it.”
I chuckled. “Me either.”
The only problem was, while Jamie was sated and boneless, I was still coiled up tight in need. It wasn’t long though until he noticed my squirming, and looked at me as if to ask what was wrong.
“Give me your hand,” I said, taking it and bringing it down between us. “As you just did...only with your fingers.”
Expression clearing in understanding, Jamie plunged first one, then two fingers into me, quickly able to mimic the pace he’d made with his cock.
The so-called deformity of Jamie’s fingers meant they were longer and wider than a normal man’s, the tips being wide and blunt. They curled naturally inside me, touching me where I most needed. I was barely aware of Jamie watching my face in amazement, so absorbed I was in what I was feeling.
I broke with a cry, arching up into him, clenching hard around his fingers. He didn’t stop until I guided him to, and then we lay facing one another, allowing our breathing to return to normal.
“Those she-gorillas didn’t know what they were missing,” I quipped, making Jamie smile.
“Are you alright?” he asked, a bit shyly. “I didn’a hurt you?”
I touched the spot on my neck that still stung from his bite. “You didn’t hurt me,” I said. “At least...not in a way I didn’t like.”
His cheek dimpled as he smiled again, and we both, it seemed, became aware at once of a sudden silence.
“The music downstairs has stopped,” I said. “The party must be over. We should probably go downstairs so you can see your guests off.”
Jamie grimaced, and I chuckled.
“It’s either that or have your sister or worse...my uncle come up looking for us.”
“This isn’a proper , is it?” he asked.
I laughed. “What, lying naked in bed in the throes of post-coital bliss? No, Jamie, I’m afraid it’s not proper . But I don’t regret it...do you?”
He shook his head, and I kissed his nose. “Come on, help me get back into my gown and into at least a semblance of rights.”
“Yes, Sassenach,” he said. “Sassenach?”
I turned from where I was sitting up, searching for my chemise. “Hm?”
He grinned. “Thank you.”