Chapter Text
(day 4 after Rieno, 5am)
Zoro POV:
After eyebrows leaves, I stay in my lookout tower till the barest traces of dawn start to compete with the setting moonlight.
Realizing I wasn't gonna resolve jack sh*t.
"Damnit eyebrows." I growl, standing and hitting my head against the wall next to the armory. once. twice. again. I sigh, deep and exasperatedly exhausted.
If anyone tells you to pick up a navy brat, sail to a jacked marine base, get stabbed, watch the navy brat you hated then didn't care about more than the next respectable person but then she gets stabbed and you think maybe you cared more than you realized and damn she's got issues but then YOU talk to a drug ghost of your childhood best friend and stuff you thought you had all figured about your dreams and motivations gets whacked then the navy brat is dying then she's not but then you read the thing she didn't want you to read and damn it all gets mixed up and the point is
don't. Don't do it. If anyone tells you to pick up a navy brat, don't. It's a trap.
I hit my head against the wall once more, just for good measure.
"fuck."
Make it STOP. Is that too much to ask? three days of meditating, sleeping, ignoring, thinking- frick I'm done thinking. My brain's spazzing like a Den Den Mushi with a bad connection.
Doesn't mean this solution is any better.
"I'm not doing the f****** Greatest Challenge." I growl, turning and crossing my feet as I drop to the ground and sit, back to the wall.
Who cares that the whole flipping village is gonna die if I don't? not me the demon pirate. I growl, shoving a memory of Tashigi making some dumb judge face away. Cause I don't care. Don't care. Don't care. Don't-
-clutch her tiny frame closer to mine, swallowing acid when blood squelches between us-
..f*ck.
I bury my head in my hands, raking my fingers through my hair as I bite back some guttural yell. It hurts. Loving people hurts. Trusting people hurts. Because chances are you'll lose them. Chances are you could be the one who pushes them too far. So you gotta pick em careful. And Tash is the definition of everything I SHOULD NOT TRUST TO STAY ALIVE. NO. I'm not getting invested in another person who LITERALLY HAS A DEATH WISH. CAUSE THE LAST ONE I DID THAT WITH STILL GETS A KICK OUT OF HAUNTING ME.
-Tashcollapsed'I got you'screa-
"oh HELL no." I growl,
-I took my life, Zoro. Not you.-
Every muscle freezes. Coward. sweat drips down my chest. Traitor. The world tints red. Weak. I tighten fists till blood trickles down my palm. Palpable, heavy, a mask and the truth.
P i s s e d.
No, NO.
I CAN'T FIGHT FOR HER USING CONTEMPT FOR HER.
"That's not how it works.." I whisper, muscles loosening enough to barely constrict in on myself again. I hate this. Weakness, vulnerability. 'Cause I didn't realize how much I've been lying to myself.
-'Let Me Go'-
NO
...
..I can't
Not Kuina.
"Damnit." I whisper, voice hoarse.
Cause I still love the damn kid too. I can't forget the firecracker, that stupid smug grin. Every action in life the exact opposite of a girl who picked the cowards way out. an enigma. Almost as fascinating as..
Pain spasms in my abdomen, and I grit my teeth, leaning forward as every muscle tenses in response. Damn that invisible bastard. I grab my torso as the hole in my stomach from getting run through by that stupid whip keeps throbbing.
I let my previous thought die. if I followed it, I think I'd learn stuff I'm not ready to learn... about all three of us.
Slowly, I lean back so I can rest against the wall.
Let go? of what? The girl who made me who I am today? I didn't start fighting for my dream till I had Kuina. All the determination, the blind stubbornness, I can trace most of it back to that bitter hatred and guilt that came from her death.
I cringe, the thought feels icky. Like I care more about what Kuina can do for me than actually honoring her. But I know that's never been my thought process. Everything I do, I do to give her, us, closure. That's what pushed me to train harder, pushed me to battle pain, determination, stamina. She was my purpose for so long and still is, even if the weight of my crew is heavier now.
right?
The thought doesn't set. I swallow, drop my hands to my lap, tired.
Maybe that's the problem. I haven't prioritized our promise.
I feel a catch, but ignore it as the idea sets a fire.
My promise to her is to become the greatest. My promise to the crew is to help Luffy become the pirate king. He doesn't need the greatest swordsman after he makes that dream a reality. He needs the greatest to get him there, before the final battles take place.
and the final battles aren't far away.
-The Greatest Challenge-
My fists tighten at my side.
It's real. I felt it, holding that damn cube for just a second.
Deep, deep history. It's not some faux fairytale. Lives changed or ended because of it.
-'When was the last time you ACTUALLY thought you were going to DIE Roronoa Zoro?'-
I flinch. Too long ago. Not long enough. Kaido tested me. Killer was a decent challenge. But there's too many out there who are still in another world of ability.
it clicks, and my chest sinks with the realization even as anticipation grips everything nerve firing in my body.
"I'm doing the f*cking Greatest Challenge."
Outside the windows, black sky lightens, barely. Blue moonlight fades and I slowly sit straight, craning my neck to watch orange start to tint the horizon.
Placated by a concrete goal, I let myself feel it. Peace.
I blink, stomach at rest, thoughts dead. Hunger and exhaustion hit like a brick wall. I grin. "Finally."
I leave hungry.
Climbing down the ladder to the grass deck below, cool wind ruffles my hair, sending shivers down my back as I pause to look at the ocean, one foot a step below the other, as I watch, and listen, and finally let out a content sigh after the waves lapping against the boat pull me in, hypnotizing.
I love the ocean.
With a shake of my head I pull myself from the peaceful scene and finish climbing down. Where's the kitchen?
After a few missed doors (they all look the same when its night and relaxed like this) I finally push into the kitchen and grab the whole plate of rice balls that curly brows left out. Snap these are good. I walk out after a few minutes, food demolished and consumed with a slight pause to glance at the sake storage before my yawn dissuades me.
For once I wanna sleep more than I want my throat to burn- something that happens less frequently in the New World. Stifling another yawn, I head down the main stairs for the men's dorm, quietly pushing the door open and letting the moonlight illuminate and help me find my objective.
There he is. Knew it.
I walk over to Sanji's bunk, silently grabbing a pillow that fell to the floor from Luffy's bed as I come to a stop next to the ero-cook. Chopper is snuggled against his chest, sleeping soundly and never waking as I push the doctor down and out of Sanji's grasp, replacing him with the pillow, and then I quickly pick him up and carry the reindeer over to my bunk. Just as I sit down and am about to collapse, I hear a panicked rustle from cook's bed and glance over my shoulder just as he looks up.
Heh. Told you not to get used to it.
I stick my tongue out and pull my eye down at Sanji before laying down flat on my bunk and nestling Chopper into my side, the radiating warmth from his fur the perfect temperature to ward off creeping chills of the night. With another content sigh, I close my eye and let sleep slowly take over, thoughts calm and random, everything at peace. Well, to the best it was gonna get to right now.
-"you have a CRUSH"-
I deadpan.
"Don't care." I growl. I don't care what it's called. All the stupid questions I wanna ask her. Cause somehow the damn woman makes me want to know her. She makes me pissed she doesn't- The hating and fricking caring that all happen at the same time.
-...
WAIT-
My stomach drops,
I don't-
Forget it.
Yeah I fricking care.
But I also wanna strangle the woman.
-she glares up at me, detesting me as she bleeds in the hollow tree root, skin pale even in the shadows-
Cause apparently that's how THAT kind of love works.
My nausea turns weird.
Did I-?
It's not love. It's a crush.
First off, I don't know a damn thing about either.
"I hate it when Ero-cook is right." I seethe under my breath.
Second, it doesn't matter cause I'm gonna obliterate it.
I choose who I care about and I don't choose you.
I grunt and turn so I'm lying on my back, shifting and adjusting my back looking for just that right position.
What's with the cheese aftertaste from those rice balls? Who puts cheese in rice balls?
Not like it would change anything either way. Likng Tash. Cheese in rice balls changes everything. But a crush on a moronic marine who hates you?
"crap."
I wince, peeking down as Chopper stirs a bit in his sleep. Didn't mean to say that so loud. Chopper settles, and I start breathing again as I stare at the bottom of Luffy's bunk.
Don't think about it. We'll go do this stupid greatest challenge thing then I never have to see her again. An image of the log pose flashes through my mind. I wonder where the damn challenge is?
"Gotta make sure we're not gone too long.." I murmur, eye roaming over the little carvings Usopp has etched into the bottom of Luffy's bunk over the years,
"pfft." I chuckle quietly as I see a new drawing depicting Luffy with a mermaid tail being eaten for breakfast by a shark. Our captain must've cheated in Go-Fish again. Wonder what else happened while I've been out not paying attention. I'll have to ask Robin to update me on the important stuff tomorrow.
I turn to look at the door, noting the tiny glow of light starting to filter through the cracks. Er, I guess today. I won't sleep too long. Should check on Glasses. See when Chopper thinks she'll wake up. I turn onto my side, pulling the reindeer doctor into my chest as I adjust my head on the pillow, looking for the right sweet spot.
The sooner we leave the better. For both of us.
"I'll talk to Luffy.. tomorrow..." I mumble again, eye blinking close as I stuff my face in Chopper's fur on top of his head, train of thought truly derailing as I inhale a forest scent, the smell a welcome, calming change to the smell of the sea. Nothing against the sea. I like both aromas. Sometimes it's just nice to have different, and each one has it's own unique qualities. If I have to choose a smell for battle I'll always choose the sea. But, forest helps to calm in a different way.
I don't remember pulling my head from Chopper to look at the ceiling, sick bay somewhere above.
Do you like the forest or the sea? Or both?
Sleep rests and steals thoughts and light alike.
What kind of irrelevant question is that..
(Late afternoon, 4th day from Rieno)
Tashigi POV:
I blink my eyes open, an attempt to escape the pounding headache pulsing in my brain tissue, everything foggy and distant and strange.
Strange..
I blink again, scrunching my face as pain shoots from my abdomen, hot, searing pain, as I look at the wooden ceiling.
Since when did Navy infirmaries have wood ceilings? That's a health violation. All wall surfaces must be plastered or constructed of material that can easily be sanitized for the sake of-
"THE GREATEST CHALLENGE!!" I gasp outloud and shoot straight up in my bed- HOW COULD I FORGET?!! "Oh my goodness how long have I been o-ou-ou-owowowowowowow aooaahoohhhowwoo...." I seize up immediately, eyes growing wider at the consuming writhing agony shooting through e v e r y t h i n g.
"Ah! Tashigi! Be careful!!" A high pitched voice pierces through the spasming pain as I feel strong hands push me back down to my bed, not even trying to fight them as my head swims and nausea sloshes in places nausea shouldn't be able to slosh.
"Stupid idiot navy brat- what the hell you doing?!" the baritone voice is rough like gravel. But, like small gravel. Rocks still sharp but small for landscape purposes.
"I like landscape," I whisper, trying to be quiet so I don't wake anyone else up. Wake anyone else up? Who else is sleeping? Am I sleeping? What is this pressure on my shoulders? "it really adds to the value of a property. Well maintained landscape shows the owners care. Who are you and why are you touching me?"
I stare blearily at the fuzzy outline of a human being leaning over me, the outline filled in with a bronzy color and, a tuft of green at the top?
I tilt my head to the side in consternation as another outline joins the first, this one big and hairy.
I smile.
"Hnnm," I let out a happy hum as I close my eyes and feel my muscles loosen, content to think about the big hairy thing. Surely it must be cute when I can see it with my glasses. Achy ebbs and waves gently replace the seizing pain from earlier and I let out a sigh as darkness starts to creep up again.. and..
"Oh!" my eyes shoot open as I look straight up at Roronoa Zoro leaning over me, hands pressed against my shoulders in an attempt to restrain. I blink, my mouth a perfect 'O', until I press up a bit against his pushing me down and whisper, eyes wide, "Don't let them keep me under too long! I have to go somewhere!" Sincere belief and wishes fill me as I stare up at his grey iris- how strange to have his full attention trained on me- smiling softly a moment later.
Clarity comes fully only as I'm pulled into the dark. They drugged me up. I've gotta behave next time I wake up if I don't want it to happen again..