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A Very Good Neighborhood

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“It’s a very good neighborhood,” Pitch said to Sandy, with the air of someone quoting someone else. 

“Go on,” said Sandy, leaning towards Pitch across the tiny kitchen table in the week-by-week business rental. 

“It meets all our stated requirements.” Pitch affected a distracted look. “Unfinished basement with water hook-ups, spacious kitchen, attached garage, backyard with privacy fence and shed, recently updated wiring. Large shade trees. It’s within a few miles of an extensive park.” 

“And the safety of the neighborhood?” Sandy asked, the fussiness of his tone not matching his wide, eerie smile. 

“The worst thing that’s happened in years is a toilet-papering on Halloween,” Pitch said. “No one has to look over their shoulders in this neighborhood,” he finished pompously. A breathless beat, and his face cracked into a grin mirroring Sandy’s. He giggled softly. “And so they won’t.” 

“Make them an offer, my dear,” Sandy said. “However much you need, I’ll get.”