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Instead of I would die for you, I would live for you

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The entire day was weighing down on Chuuya like an itch he couldn't scratch. It started with the most rude wake up call to ever exist. Sadly said wake up call had a name,

Osamu Dazai.

His Anaki had let him into their shared apartment, allowing the bandaged freak free reign when he let himself into Chuuya's bedroom and decided to plop himself right on top of the smaller male. "Chuuyaaaaaa!~ Its time to wake up or we'll be late for school! Appearances matter after all and Chibi is so barely noticeable he needs me beside him to show he exists!" Dazai's voice rang out, effectively kill any semblance of sleep Chuuya hoped to have.

With a grunt, he pushed the scrawny body off himself while sitting up in the process. "Shitty Mackerel! I don't need you to stand out! I don't even want to stand out in the first place!" Wrong choice of words. Dazai smirked as he rose to his feet, lightly poking Chuuya's forehead. "Eh? So Chibi admits his shortness? Have you finally come to your senses? And how rude Chuuya, saying you don't need me like that. You'll always need me by your side! Like I need you!"

Chuuya felt the heat rush to the tips of his ears from hearing that but it was bittersweet in the way it made his heart clench against his ribs. "Shut up shitty Dazai, you only need me around to be your personal punching bag. Shouldn't you be terrorizing Akutagawa or someone?" Part of him felt bad for throwing his kohai under the bus but desperate times call for desperate measures. Dazai looked thoughtful, hand under his chin as though he were actually considering what Chuuya had to said which they both knew was a lie.

"Hmm... Nope! Nobody is more fun to mess with than my Chibi! Now hurry and get dressed or I'll eat your breakfast!" Dazai grinned, narrowly dodging the baseball Chuuya had thrown at him on the way out of his bedroom.

Lately Dazai has been more... Affectionate. For someone like Dazai anyway. Only those that genuinely knew him would be able to recognize it. The walk to school proved it. Despite their usual banter, Dazai was far more considerate of Chuuya. He would stand on the side nearest to the street but just close enough to brush the back of his hand against Chuuya's as if daring him to make the move.

How much longer did he have to bare with Dazai messing with him? Maybe he found out about the crush he had on him after all.

Chuuya had no idea how it started. They were supposed frenemies since kindergarten. Both inseparable yet they couldn't work together. When Dazai had gone to a junior high away from Chuuya their relationship changed. He just up and left without saying anything about why or where the school was or if they'd keep in touch. It wasn't until Chuuya's second year of high school that Dazai transferred in and came back into his life as if he never left. Chuuya supposed that's when he realized just how he actually liked Dazai. When he came back all the feelings he tried to keep in came out when he cried into his pillow that night. He swore he would never let the bandaged suicidal manic know how he felt.

Dazai wasn't the type to feel anything for anyone other than amusement or pity for being stupid on a bad day. There's no way he would feel anything for Chuuya other than being his little pet.

The only problem now was that Dazai refused to leave his side. They didn't have every class together thankfully but he still stuck around as if everything was natural.

"Nene Chuuya! Did you know this?" Dazai came to his side as he packed his bag to grab some lunch, holding up what looked like red yarn in his hand. He looked up at him in what he hoped was pure irritation. "When someone has a red string around their pinky," He paused to tie a piece around his own pinky. "Its a sign that that person has a soulmate? Whoever is at the other end of the string is that persons soulmate!" With those words he took the rest of the ball and wrapped it loosely around Chuuya's finger then again around his neck.

"Chuuya looks good in red!" Dazai exclaimed, causing the pale of his cheeks to turn a faint shade of red. "Shitty mackerel! What the hell are you trying to pull?!" He questioned while taking the yarn off himself, much to the others disappointment.

"But Chuuyaaaaaaa! How are we supposed to be soulmates if you take it off?" Dazai questioned, cutting a piece of yarn and tying a little bow on Chuuya's pinky finger. "There. Now you can't take it off!" He said, blocking the punch that the red head had thrown at him. "Cut the crap Dazai! We aren't-" He cut off as Dazai took his hand with a small smile gracing his lips. "Don't take it off alright Chuuya?" He whispered quietly before letting go of his hand. "We should hurry or we won't get lunch!" He said while making his way out of the classroom.

Chuuya stared at the empty doorway, thankful so few of his classmates were there to witness that aside from Akutagawa. "What was that all about Chuuya-senpai?" He asked, covering a cough behind his hand as the red head just shrugged his shoulders.

After gathering some form of lunch, Chuuya made his way to the roof to try to think over what the hell kind of trick Dazai was pulling. Akutagawa and Atsushi followed him along, both holding each others hands as they went. Apparently after he left Dazai thought it was smart to mess with Kunikida to sneak some of his lunch and Ranpo stayed behind to watch the show.

"Dazai-san really did all that? Maybe he likes you Chuuya-senpai." Atsushi said, eating his onigiri as he went. "Oh please you've seen what he's like. Dazai doesn't like people like that." Chuuya waved it off, munching on his melon bread.

"I wouldn't be so sure Chuuya-senpai. You're the only one Dazai-san acts like that around. Maybe Weretiger is right." Akutagawa murmured softly, eating his food quietly and respectfully. Atsushi seemed to blush from his nickname. He got it when they all went to the arcade and Akutagawa won him a stuffed white tiger as a symbol of their first date. They ate their lunches quietly after that.

There's no way Dazai had feelings for Chuuya. It just couldn't be. If he did then why did he leave? Why mess with him? He couldn't believe that was the answer.

It bothered him through the last of his classes, constantly running through his mind until he felt a tap on his shoulder and turned his head to see Dazai kneeling beside his desk. "You were thinking really hard there shrimp. I thought I lost you for a second there. Its time to go home!" Dazai grinned, twirling around as Chuuya stood up. "Can you stop..?" He spoke up lowly, part of him hoping the other didn't hear but of course he did.

"Stop what Chuuya?" Dazai paused, glancing back at him with warm chocolate hues locking onto the red of his cheeks. "Stop messing with me! If you got something to say then say it! Don't just make me guess! It isn't funny anymore!" Chuuya shouted at him as he drew closer, boxing him against the desk with his arms on either side of him.

"Then why can't Chibi come out and say it either? Can you look me in the eye and say what you want to say too Chuuya? Would you listen to me instead of running away?" Dazai asked softly, making Chuuya gulp as he tried to look anywhere but his eyes lest he fall into the trap. "Ne, why can't you look at me Chuuya? Are you going to run again?" He whispered softly, tilting his head to try to meet his gaze.

"W-Who is the one running? You ran away and left me alone so you don't get to talk about running! Stop messing with me! If you already know then don't toy with me!" Chuuya lifted his hands, trying to put some distance between them as he pushed against his chest but Dazai wouldn't budge as he brought his arms around Chuuya and rested his forehead on his shoulder.

"I thought it would be less painful if I left without you knowing. You could forget about me. You already knew about my double suicide dream. You're still normal Chuuya. You had a chance. It was one of the biggest mistakes I ever made." Dazai mumbled muffled into his shirt, making Chuuya flush as red as his hair while he squirmed in his hold. "I-I thought you didn't make mistakes. You're the genius prodigy after all..." Chuuya breathed shakily, attempting to settle the racing of his heart.

"I miscalculated how much you meant to me. I didn't realize it until I came back. I couldn't believe I ever left you to begin with. All those times I nearly managed to kill myself, your face is what stopped me. You make me want to keep on living Chuuya." Dazai admitted, shoulders sinking as if a great burden was just freed from him.

"I.. Well you can't say you don't know how I feel.. Shitty Dazai." Chuuya mumbled, bringing his arms up to wrap around his midsection and return the hug. "Can I hear it? At least once?" He asked, lifting his head off the smaller male's shoulder to look him in the eyes. "Ne Chuuya? You kept the string on your finger so..." A smile tugged at his lips from seeing how badly Chuuya was blushing.

"I-I love you you fucking moro-" He was cut off as Dazai leaned forward, pressing his lips against Chuuya's with a gentleness he didn't know the other was capable of. Both their bodies immediately relaxed, Dazai's right hand coming up to cup Chuuya's cheek as they settled into the kiss. A tender brush of softness despite Dazai's being slightly chapped. It was loving and sweet. More than Chuuya ever thought his first kiss would ever be.

Dazai pulled away first, giving a light peck to his lips once, twice, three times before speaking up. "I love you too Chibi. Now lets go home okay?" Dazai smiled, wrapping his yarn wrapped pinky around Chuuya's before they both grabbed their bags and made their way out.

Of course tomorrow they would have to explain what happened to everyone knowing how Dazai would be far more PDA after this but for now... For now they could live for one another and that...

That was more than enough.