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Throw Away the Key

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Dean scowled at his too-bright phone screen. His brother Sam had just informed him that their father had died - big deal, the guy’d been on death’s doorstep since Dean was a toddler, and Dean could count on one hand the amount of times he’d seen him in his entire life. The news certainly wasn’t worth waking up to, but then again… was anything worth waking up to? 

 

He tried and failed to go back to sleep, and eventually rolled out of his bed and packed a suitcase. He’d lived in Kansas his entire life, but his dad had kicked the bucket up in Sioux Falls, South Dakota - he’d moved there just after their mom had booted his useless ass to the curb when Sammy was born, and he’d been there ever since. 

 

His coffee pot sputtered to life as Dean rubbed his eyes and tried to find a cheap flight to the middle of fucking nowhere. He wouldn’t even bother going to the funeral, but Sam had mentioned something about John leaving Dean something in his will, and while Dean did alright working at the repair shop, he wasn’t about to turn down free shit. He couldn’t imagine his dad had anything worth a damn, but who knew. Dean had seen him so infrequently that the guy could’ve hit the lottery for all he knew. 

 

A few hours and a metric fuckton of coffee later, Dean was sitting on the plane and anxiously looking for the stewardess. Boarding had been a nightmare, there was some kinda virus going around that had the whole world on edge. Some places had travel bans in place already so flights were getting delayed or outright canceled, and by the time he got through the chaos his nerves were shot. There’s gotta be some fuckin’ alcohol on this deathtrap somewhere, right? He regretted the mass amount of coffee the second the plane took off, and didn’t stop regretting his decisions until his feet were firmly planted back on the ground. 

 

Dean found Sam waiting for him in the airport and after a tight hug, they made their way back to their Uncle Bobby’s house. Bobby had been better to Sam and Dean than John ever was, and Dean was genuinely happy to see him. Even more so when Bobby showed him what his dad had left him - a gorgeous black 1967 Chevy Impala. He’d seen the car a couple of times, but mostly just in pictures. The very first thing he did was take it for a test drive. 

 

The funeral was a couple of days later, and it sucked . It was full of people he barely knew, including a half-brother he didn’t know he had. It was draining and morose and he couldn’t wait for the damn thing to be over so he could go back to Bobby’s, get good and drunk, and try to sleep before he drove back home to Kansas. 

 

He got what he wanted, Bobby wasted no time opening a bottle of rot gut whiskey the second they got back to his cabin. The news was on in the background, Bobby always liked to stay informed… and it was a damn good thing, too. More and more reports were popping up about the virus that was spreading across the globe, and entire states were shutting down because of it. 

 

“You think this shit’s gonna end anytime soon?” Dean asked Bobby before taking another bitter, stinging sip of his drink. 

 

Bobby was busy cleaning one of his rifles and shook his head. “Nope, far as I can tell this shit’s just beginning. You might wanna pay attention though, son. I heard rumors Kansas is up next.” 

 

“Up next?” Sam sat up a little straighter and leaned forward. “You think they’ll quarantine people?” 

 

“Yep, and you boys better be prepared for it. Might wanna head back in the morning, see about stocking up on some essentials before all the crazies buy ‘em all up.” 

 

Dean chuckled. “What, you think there’s gonna be a run on toilet paper or something? It’s a respiratory virus, not a stomach bug.” Whatever was going on, he wasn’t that worried about it. Bobby had taught him and Sam everything they needed to know to survive an apocalypse, a few days of quarantine and a toilet paper shortage weren’t that big of a deal. 

 

But sure enough, by the time Dean was loading his suitcase up in his car the next morning, the order came down. As of midnight the following night, the people of Kansas were ordered to ‘Shelter in Place,’ whatever the fuck that even meant. He said his goodbyes, Sam was going to stay with Bobby until it was over but Dean had a job to do. He doubted the shop he worked at was going to get shut down, people still needed their cars fixed, right? 


He called his roommate Charlie on his way back. “Yo, Charles! Hope you’re ready to be stuck with my pretty face for the next couple of weeks.” 

 

“Couple of weeks? Dean, it’s a mandatory 30 day quarantine, it’s more than a couple of weeks. This virus is no joke, and uh… speaking of that…” Charlie trailed off, and the tone of her voice had him more nervous than anything else. 

 

“What, Charlie? Speak!” 

 

“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come back here, Dean. One of my coworkers was diagnosed with the virus yesterday afternoon, and I’ve been around her. It’s probably not safe for you to stay here, at least until I know for sure if I have it.”

 

Dean was silent as he digested that particular bit of horrible information. “Jesus, are you okay?”

 

She huffed a laugh. “Oh, you know me. No way I’m gonna let something as stupid as a cold take me out. I’m a damn queen, plagues are for peasants.” 

 

“Always the optimist. Yeah, I’ll figure something out. You stay safe though, okay? Keep me updated too, if you start sprouting antennas I wanna know about it.” 

 

“I don’t think this is that kind of virus, Dean, but sure. You’ll be the first to know.” 

 

The second he was off the phone with Charlie, panic gripped him. Charlie was his age and they weren’t quite 30 yet, so her chances of surviving it were pretty damn high even if she did have it, but what the hell was he gonna do? He wasn’t planning on not being able to go back home. He could turn around and crash with Bobby, but the cabin wasn’t very big and Bobby was already agreeing to take on Sammy during this mess, there was no way Dean could ask him to let him stay. Both his parents were dead, which just left… Benny. 

 

Benny had been a trade school friend of Dean’s and owed him a few thousand after all the times he showed up on Dean’s doorstep drunk as hell and looking for a place to sleep it off. He’d always said he’d make it up to Dean one day, and Dean knew Benny had a decent sized house out in the country… yeah, this was one favor Dean didn’t mind calling in. It was the only choice he had, anyway. 

 

He called Benny, who answered quickly. “Well, I’ll be. Haven’t heard from you in a minute, brother.”

 

“Don’t be so dramatic, it hasn’t been that long. Hey, I’m just gonna cut to the chase cause I’m pulled over on the side of the highway and don’t really have time to beat around the bush. You heard about the quarantine, right?” 

 

Benny was silent for a moment, and then, “Yep, sure did. You okay, cher?” 

 

“Charlie thinks she’s got it, I can’t go home.” He didn’t elaborate, he knew Benny would know what he was asking without actually having to ask it. It was one of his favorite things about him. 

 

“Ah. Well, sure. We’ve probably got enough room for one more, if you’re looking’ for a place to crash.” Benny paused for a moment and then chuckled quietly, adding, “if you don’t mind stayin’ in a house full of horny dudes, that is.” 

 

Dean brushed it off and urged the car back onto the highway. “All guys are horny, Benny, this isn’t news. I’m still a couple hours out, but I’ll be there before dark. That cool? I’m already packed, my piece of shit dad finally did us the courtesy of dyin’ and I’m on my way back from the funeral.” 

 

Benny knew enough not to bother offering condolences. He simply told Dean where the spare key was, said it was fine, hung up, and left Dean to the open road and some Led Zeppelin.

 

He probably should have asked who Benny even lived with these days, but it didn’t really matter. They didn’t really hang out in the same circles anymore, so he doubted he’d have recognized the names and at the end of the day, he really didn’t have a choice. Benny could live with Hitler and it would still be better than being homeless during a crisis situation or running the risk of catching that god damned virus. 

 

But no, he really, really should have at least let Benny clarify that comment he’d made about horny men, because when he parked his car and opened the front door with the spare key, his suitcase and his jaw hit the floor. 

 

Nipples. 

 

There were a lot of nipples in that room, every single one of them attached to very naked, moaning, writhing men. He’d walked into a fucking gay orgy, and he took a couple of steps backward to double-check the house number. Nope, this was definitely the right place. He cleared his throat, apparently invisible to the five - no, six - guys going at it like fucking jackrabbits. Dean’s body flushed under his clothes. He definitely wasn’t a stranger to kinky sex, but this? This was new. 

 

His eyes fell on the heavily tattooed back of a man with inky black sex hair and a cock in each hand, who was bouncing up and down on… 

 

“Uhh… Benny?” 

 

Not one single person turned to look at him. He pinched his own arm and lightly tapped his face, wondering if he was either dreaming or fucking invisible. Dean loudly closed the front door and walked in, circling around the back of the couch until he was in Benny’s view. 

 

Suddenly though, Benny was the last thing on Dean’s mind. Turned out, Sex Hair was insanely attractive. His plump bottom lip was trapped between his teeth and his eyes were closed, but he looked so… blissed the fuck out. Like the guy was having the time of his life spearing himself on Benny’s cock and jackin’ two others off at the same time. Dean was half hard in his jeans just from the sight. 

 

“Oh shit Benny, your friend is here.” A tall man with carmel colored skin and a dick like a racehorse said, and Benny finally looked around the fucking sex angel.

 

“What the f-..” Sex angel opened his eyes and when their gazes met, Dean was convinced he was definitely sent straight from heaven to fuck his entire life up. That shade of blue just wasn’t human.

 

“Sorry brother, thought we had a couple hours.” But Dean wasn’t even listening because before Benny finished, the man riding his cock pushed off of him and the other men, walking up to Dean like he wasn’t butt ass naked wearing a cock ring? Fuck, what the shit was this place?

 

“Hello, there. Where the fuck have you been hiding?” He tilted his head and licked those delicious swollen lips, Dean couldn’t help but wonder where that guy’s mouth had just been to make them look like that. 

 

“Whoa, whoa.” Dean took a half step back as he finally found his voice again. “Easy, tiger. Don’t get up on my account, I’m not stayin’. Well, I’m stayin’, I don’t exactly have a choice, but I…” the smell of sex was so strong coming off the blue-eyed man that Dean temporarily couldn’t focus. “Benny! Where the hell’s my room?” 

 

“Up the stairs, second door to your left. Sofa pulls out, unlike me.” Benny grabbed the angel again and yanked him back down, and just like that… Dean was forgotten. 

 

He took his leave quickly, only remembering halfway up the stairs that his suitcase was still by the door. He doubled back down to go get it and stole one more glance at the scene in front of him, then took the stairs quickly and ducked into the second door on the left. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sucked in a couple of deep breaths, wondering if he’d have been better off just letting the damn virus take him. 

Chapter Text

Castiel was no stranger to orgies. He, Benny and Cole had frequent threesomes for the past nine months and every so often, they invited some friends over. It was the perfect arrangement. 

 

There were no strings, and it was just what someone like Castiel needed. 

 

Balt had been Cas’ friend since highschool, so naturally he was invited, especially since he and his boyfriend just broke up. Michael was Benny’s hottest friend and he was fucking hung, no explanation needed there, and Gadreel and Cole were actually a couple now. Cas didn’t think they would want to partake in orgies, so it was always a pleasant surprise when they joined in. 

 

It was even. Two, four, six… they always made sure it was even. 

 

Benny springing a seventh on them was a shock, but he quickly let them know Dean definitely wouldn’t be into this so not to get their hopes up when they saw him. Cas honestly didn’t care whether this supposed hot friend joined or not, but he was annoyed Benny gave little to no information about him just the same. Benny only insisted he was hot and that no one there had a chance with him. Castiel loved a challenge and was rarely ever turned down, which meant he was sure he would be riding this dude's dick too before the quarantine lifted. 

 

But none of that could have prepared him for the Greek God standing before him when he opened his eyes. Dean was undoubtedly the most handsome man Cas had ever seen. His entire physique was sculpted by God himself and Cas was far from religious, despite his name… or, in spite of, actually.

 

Dean was tall with broad shoulders and a sharp jaw. His green eyes were so enticing, Cas had to get a closer look… and boy, he was not disappointed. The man was even better up close, despite not having his glasses, he could see the most adorable freckles sprinkled across his nose and Castiel wouldn’t mind staring at him long enough to count them. But Dean stepped back and nearly sprinted up the stairs.

 

He was, at the very least, intrigued by Cas. That much was obvious, but why was he so afraid to let go? That’s what these were, a chance to let go and forget about all the bullshit in the world. Castiel wished more people understood how freeing an orgy was. He taught human sexuality, but they’d strongly advised he didn’t glamorize orgies, so he respected that… while on the clock.

 

Benny pulling him down brought him back to reality, and although he could still clearly see Dean in his mind, he was nothing but a sex hazed memory within minutes. Live in the now. Castiel always told himself. If Dean wanted to let go, and live for a change, he was welcome to come back downstairs... but for now, Cas had been neglecting his partners for long enough.

 

“Come here, Michael. I love the way your cock fills my throat.” Cas stroked his own throbbing member and Michael gripped his chin and pulled him in, shoving himself into Cas’ mouth.

 

He bounced on Benny and sucked off Michael while the other three fucked on the opposing couch. Cas was a little too preoccupied to check on them and couldn’t honestly care less, he was completely full. 

 

Castiel had never been shy about letting his partners know exactly what he wanted, so when he shoved Michael back and stood, the two men patiently waited for his instruction. “Want you both inside me.” He shoved Michael down on the couch and straddled him, sliding down in one go. Benny did a good job opening him up, but Michael was slightly bigger, making it a tight fit, but that was nothing compared to what was to come. 

 

Cas felt a thrill up his spine when Benny positioned himself behind him and kissed along his shoulder, sliding in two fingers along with Michael’s cock. “Oh fuck!” Cas called out and quickly got the attention of the other three males.

 

“Oh Cassie, they’re going to split that gorgeous ass.” Balt walked over for a closer look, followed by Cole and Gadreel. The couple sat down next to them and started fucking but had their eyes glued on the scene before them. Balt began jacking off while he watched.

 

“Good. It’s been too long since I’ve been split open, boys.” Cas rocked back, moaning happily.

 

“Think you can take your man and Balt, Cole?” Benny asked, adding another finger into Cas’ ass. “These cute little bottoms need to be taught a lesson.” He slapped Cas’ bubble butt with his other hand and then gripped his cheek roughly.

 

Castiel groaned and then huffed a laugh, “Too much talking back there, Ben.” He teased, knowing deep down he should have let Benny open him up a little more, but when Cas was horny, he lost all patience. It often bit him in the ass… literally.

 

Benny accepted the challenge and lined up, adding more lube before poking the head of his cock in the small space he created. “Watch your mouth pretty.” Benny growled and shoved inside. Cas grunted loudly and dug his nails into Michael’s chest, his eyes slamming shut. 

 

The other three men also accepted and soon the room was filled with the raunchiest noises that could surely be heard all throughout the house. 

 

Four tops, two bottoms, six cocks. It was incredibly arousing just to be in the room. Sex was so thick in the air Cas could barely breathe. He was so fucking full he wasn’t sure if he could even come but Michael always knew how to take care of him. He gripped Cas’ thick cock and pulled off the cock ring, jerking him with Benny’s thrusts. “Fuck yes, fuck… fuck…” Castiel forgot any other words. It didn’t take long for him to get to the edge, “Gonna come!” He grunted just in time before he was free falling into euphoria. Cas knew every other man there was watching him come and it made his release that much more intense, he loved putting on a good show. 

 

He didn’t know who finished first in the other group, but when he opened his eyes, Balt was already out of Cole and stroking his spent cock, Cole was on his knees, sucking his boyfriend to completion. 

 

Castiel turned his attention back to his men, “Pick me up.” He ordered, smearing his come all over Michael’s chest. “Fucking wreck me.”

 

Benny pulled out and stood, pulling Cas up with him and picking him up. Michael stood and helped grip Cas’ legs and Cas reached down to guide their cocks back inside. He cried out again at the intrusion and they wasted no time in finding their rhythm. Cas’ ass was sore and over-sensitive, but he loved it. Two men, tossing him back and forth, dueling to be the one he remembered when it was all said and done. 

 

Castiel laid his head back on Benny’s shoulder, his body pliant to their every thrust. Benny came first, latching his teeth onto Cas’ neck and sending Michael over the edge as well, both of their massive cocks filling Cas with come. He was thankful they had planned this orgy before the quarantine shit even happened and they all got tested prior, condoms always got in the way. 

 

His mind wandered to Dean, I hope he’s been tested recently, because I want his come over every inch of my body. Cas thought. He literally just got fucked into oblivion and he still wanted Dean’s cock. He was insatiable. 

 

They slid out of him and Benny shoved a plug into his ass so he didn’t make a mess as he made his way upstairs for a shower. He usually hung out a bit afterwards but seeing as they would all be stuck inside for a month, there was no rush, and he needed a shower. 

 

And more importantly, he needed to know more about Dean, but the man was currently hiding in Cas’ office.

 

He took his time in the shower, scrubbing every inch clean. Michael joined him before he was finished, earning himself the famous Castiel eye roll, but he didn’t kick him out. “What? This is your come all over me after all.” Michael teased.

 

“And what do you think my ass was just full of?” He replied, rolling his eyes again. “I don’t care, just no touching after sex. I have my own aftercare routine, and it doesn’t involve your delicious, milk chocolate cock.” 

 

Michael laughed, loudly. “Milk chocolate?!” He laughed again. “Fuck, why are you single Cas? You’re one of a kind.” 

 

Cas sighed, “I just don’t believe in monogamy which makes it unfair to any partner. It works for Cole and Gadreel, they met doing this and they found their line. But if I was to get a partner, I’m sure they would run for the hills when I asked for another cock up my ass.” 

 

“Or you can meet someone doing this. Like them.” He asked, not being subtle, but Cas had always been an oblivious one.

 

“No way, I’m not fucking what we have up here. Plus, I’m one of a kind remember, it would just be rude to try and give one man all my attention.” He joked and climbed out of the shower to dry off.

 

Cas wrapped a towel around his waist and made his way to his room. He fixed up his abused hole and slid on some green panties - he prefered them to men’s underwear - and then put on some soft black sweatpants, bumble bee slippers, and a white t-shirt. As usual, he paid zero attention to his hair and let it decide how it wanted to be before making his way downstairs. He could smell Benny was already grilling some meat, and like in bed, Castiel loved his meat.

 

“Smells amazing down here.” Cas said as he entered the kitchen. The best part about having this be a normal thing is there was no awkwardness. The group could easily come all over each other and then discuss the weather or bake some cookies without skipping a beat. 

 

“You look comfy, how about you make one of them pies you know we all love?” Benny asked with a grin.

 

“Fine. But only because I literally couldn’t sit down if you paid me.” Cas walked into the kitchen and searched for the pie pan. 

 

“You asked for it, cher. Hey, about Dean. Don’t take that personally, I warned you he wouldn’t be interested.” This was true, but Cas still didn’t care.

 

“It seems you were correct, for now.” He didn’t even turn to see Benny’s face but he knew he was watching him.

 

Benny chuckled, “Don’t push him. I consider him a brother… I’d love to fuck the shit out of him too, though, so maybe brother isn’t the right term.” He joked.

 

“So you’ve never?” Cas turned now, interested.

 

“Never. He doesn’t fuck friends, which most people can’t, so I respect that, I’m asking you too as well.” 

 

Cas tilted his head, “I’m not his friend. Also, you can still use brother, George RR Martin would approve.” He joked innocently and turned back towards his pie. 

 

Benny walked over and slapped Cas’ ass. “He’s our roommate for the next month and my friend. How did you just take two cocks and you’re still a damn brat?”

 

“Don’t know what you’re talking about, Ben. And no touching. You of all people know my rules.” Cas turned around and bore into his eyes.

 

“Right. Apologies, Professor Novak.” Benny joked to lighten the mood. 

 

It worked. “Good boy.” Cas said in his deepest voice, knowing that always got to every single man in the house.

 

“Bake the damn pie, Kuzco.” Balt said as he walked in the room. “I can hear you two flirting from the damned bathroom. Didn’t you fuck enough?” He teased and sat on a barstool.

 

“Kuzco?” Castiel asked with an adorable head tilt, making Benny and Balt laugh.

 

“Emperor’s New Groove.” Balt rolled his eyes.

 

“Which era does this take place in?” Cas loved documentaries on Emperors… on anything really.

 

But the fuckers just laughed more. “It’s a cartoon.” Benny shook his head, “What did you even watch as a kid?”

 

Cas frowned, church services, actually. He thought to himself and turned back to his pie.

 

“It’s on Netflix, this is happening.” Balt stood up and walked over to the tv.

Chapter Text

Dean got officially laid off the following morning. That meant he was stuck with pretty much no escape, and as a consequence, he learned more shit about more shit than he ever wanted to. He started out trying to make a loud ahh! noise anytime one of them brought up their… recreational activities, but it only seemed to egg them on. By day five, Dean had taken to locking himself in his room as much as possible - the only problem with that was the fact that it doubled as Cas’ office. Apparently the guy was still doing... whatever it was that he did while most of the world was shut down. Cas would come in at random times and kick Dean out, sometimes for hours. He’d busy himself working on or just admiring Baby - the name he’d officially given that gorgeous Impala - or playing videogames with Benny until Cas surfaced again and told him it was safe. 

 

That was usually around the time the fucking orgies started. Seriously, who even does that? And not a single pair of tits anywhere, it was just… no thanks. Sure, Dean appreciated fuckin’ dudes just as much as chicks, at the end of the day… a hole was a hole, right? But for something like that, he wanted some variety. So, Dean would head up to his little makeshift bedroom and blare his music in his headphones loudly enough he’d get a headache in an attempt to drown out the sounds coming from downstairs. 

 

Well, most of the time. That first day, he’d allowed himself a moment of weakness, but it wasn’t his fault. Being smacked in the face with something as hot as Cas getting wrecked wasn’t exactly a recipe for abstinence, y’know? So maybe he took care of himself while listening to the sounds that guy was making. No one needed to know, no one needed to care. 

 

Besides, it was a one-time thing. With people coming in and out of his room all the time, jerking himself off was a sacred practice now only reserved for showers - and he wasn’t even really to risk it then after Cole came charging in halfway through one of them to take a shit. 

 

Yeah, it was gonna be a long quarantine. But he’d figure it out, he always did. At the end of the first week, the rest of their little prison squad decided to celebrate with a - you guessed it - orgy. Dean flopped down on the pull-out bed and reached for his headphones, tuning out the noise before it even started. Benny’d almost begged him to join but despite the fact that he was near desperate to have his cock in something warm, he’d said no. 

 

He had principles. 

 

Unfortunately for him, he didn’t notice when Cas came into the room and started rummaging around. Dean was halfway through a Phil Collins drum solo and wasn’t about to open his eyes for some far-off sounding noises. 

 

Cas walked over and pulled off the headphones, completely screwing up the solo, staring straight into Dean’s eyes. “I have to do a video call. Go watch the fun downstairs, or if you aren’t in the mood for a gangbang, there are plenty of other rooms in this house.” He turned and walked back, giving Dean a full view of what he was wearing, or not wearing, for that matter. 

 

His ass was on full display, the small bit of red string could be seen at the top, disappearing between two perfectly round cheeks. A red thong?! And this dude has to do a video call?! Dean knew Cas had a treadmill and weights in his room but he never imagined he’d be thankful for that. Cas looked strong , those runners legs popped in all the right places and Dean had to blink a couple times before he was able to take in the rest of Castiel’s ridiculous outfit. He was all business on top, collared shirt, sweater vest and glasses. What the fuck does this guy do?

 

“Yeah, no.” Now that his headphones are off, it sounded like they’d gotten started without Cas. “I’m not goin’ anywhere near that, guess you’re stuck with me.” 

 

Cas looked annoyed for the first time since Dean had met him, but if it was a war between their comfort levels, Dean was gonna look out for his own. 

 

“Fine, then put your headphones back on and don’t say a damn word.” Cas sat down in the desk chair and looped his toes behind the bar that connected the legs at the bottom, causing his thighs to bulge in ways that threatened to cause a chain reaction. 

 

Dean licked his lip and slid his headphones back on, but didn’t press play. There was no way in hell he was gonna ignore what was happening here, he needed to know what the fuck Cas did for a living that required such an outfit. He looked like a slutty, delicious professor and all of a sudden, Dean discovered a kink he didn’t know he had. Unable to keep watching him, he rolled over onto his belly and settled for listening. 

 

Dean could hear Cas pressing buttons on his desktop before it rang twice and then made a whooshing sound. “Hello Jack. How is your “vacation” going?” Dean bit back a smile, he could actually hear the air quotes.

 

“H-hi Mr. Novak. Kind of sick of being stuck inside but I think everyone feels that way, right?”

 

Dean made a face into the pillow. Mr. Novak? 

 

“I’m sure they do, how can I help you tonight, Jack? It sounded urgent.” 

 

“Well. Um…”

 

“This is a safe space, Jack.” Dean noticed for the first time just how calming Cas’ deep voice was.

 

“You’re gay.”

 

It was so blunt that Dean had to work overtime trying to stifle his laugh, but Cas chuckled. “That is correct.” 

 

“Well how did you know you were gay? Some people like both. Right?” 

 

“Yes, some people do. Chapter eight is entirely dedicated to sexuality and how acknowledging each and every one is essential to our growth as human beings. You remember that, correct?”

 

“Yes. But how did you decide what you were?” 

 

Dean would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t curious. Not necessarily about Cas’ answer, but in general how people figured out who they were attracted to. He slowly moved his head and fixed his eyes on Cas, who was dragging his tongue absently over his lip and looking like he was trying to figure out how to word the response. 

 

“I didn’t decide. I was born this way. We are all born how we are born, no one can choose that for you, Jack.” 

 

“But did you sleep with a woman before you knew?”

 

Dean heard him hesitate, “Yes and no.” Oh, there’s a story there.

 

“And you liked sleeping with a man better? So I should try both before I can really know?”

 

“Not necessarily, Jack. If you don’t want to sleep with a man or woman, you do not have to. I tried, because I felt pressured. Don’t let anyone force you into anything.”

 

Anger flared in Dean’s chest at the thought of anyone - maybe especially someone as normally open and easygoing as Cas - feeling like they had to have sex with someone they weren’t attracted to. 

 

“Okay. A couple weeks ago, you briefly spoke about group sex, what is that li-”

 

“Jack, forgive me. I thought this was specifically about your homework. Do you have anything related to this week’s assignment?”

 

“Well, no.”

 

“Okay, let’s set up a call for Monday and I’ll answer all of your questions but I really have to get back, I had a prior engagement before I received your message.”

 

Dean heard the kid’s voice kick up an octave. “A prior engagement? In the middle of a pandemic?” 

 

If Dean hadn’t been looking right at him, he’d have missed the way Cas answered only with the raising of a single eyebrow. He couldn’t see the kid he was talking to, but his quiet, hasty response suggested the eyebrow spoke plenty loud. 

 

“Okay, sorry Mr. Novak.”

 

“Don’t apologize, Jack. We’ll speak Monday.” 

 

“Okay, bye.” Whoosh.

 

Dean sat up. “Okay, what the hell was that, who the hell was that, and since when are orgies considered prior arrangements? Do you put them in a planner or something?” 

 

The bitchface Cas gave him was as hilarious as it was chilling. “That… was none of your business, and I told you to keep your headphones on.” 

 

“Oh, no. Nope.” Dean pushed his headphones and his phone to the side. “You don’t get to waltz in here in the fashion equivalent of a god damned mullet, talk to a freakin’ teenager about sex, and then not tell me what on earth it is you do for a living. Classes… homework… are you a professor, Cas? A sex professor?” 

 

“That’s not a thing, Dean.” Cas stood up from the chair and Dean got a spectacular view of that red thong, and what a piss poor job it was doing holding Cas’ cock in place. “Are you joining us tonight or not?” 

 

“Shit.” Dean wanted to press him, to keep asking questions until at least half of what he’d just witnessed made sense in his brain, but his… other brain was apparently making the decisions. “I’ll join you if you tell me.” 

 

Cas eyed him, his gaze lingering on Dean’s crotch. “I’m a human sexualities professor at the community college here in town. It’s an elective we had to try very hard to even have offered, and no… I don’t teach people how to have sex.” Cas pulled off the sweater vest and started deftly releasing the buttons on his shirt. “However, even the staunchest professors make exceptions.” Cas winked at Dean and let his shirt slide off his shoulders right before he turned and ducked out of the room, leaving Dean with exactly two things: a boner, and a choice. 

 

Shit. I told myself I wouldn’t do this. It’s weird right? Too weird… but Cas’ ass in that thong… “Son of a bitch.” Dean pulled off his shirt and ventured off downstairs, leaving his last rational thought behind.

 

The men were pretty occupied but him entering the room made a couple of them glance his way and he didn’t miss the way Cas’ eyes lit up. He noticed Cas was just watching the others off to the side - probably trying to leave behind Professor Novak and embrace his inner hippie - so he could get back in the zone, or whatever headspace is best for gang-fucking your roommates during an apocalypse. But he instantly walked towards Dean. “About fucking time.” He pulled Dean to the couch by his belt loop and pushed him down. “I had dibs.” 

 

Dean hit the couch and pulled Cas with him, unashamedly exploring his bare skin. Under normal circumstances, someone jumping on him for sex and calling dibs would be flattering, but he’d seen enough of the loose relationship Cas had with sex to know that it wasn’t flattering at all, Dean was just the only fresh meat left in the house. It’s fine, two could play that game - and if there was one thing Dean Winchester was fucking awesome at, it was no-strings-attached sex and handing out mind-blowing orgasms like fucking pamphlets. Okay, that’s two things. Whatever. 

 

Cas moved his hips in a slow, sensuous circle and smirked down at Dean. Oh, no. Not today, buddy. 

 

He slid his thumbs under the tiny fabric straps of the thong and gripped hard, urging Cas to move a little faster as he grinded up against that perfect ass, irritated at the pants that still separated them. “You gonna kiss me, or what?” 

 

Cas laughed quietly, nearly busting out of those panties and sliding off of him. Dean lifted his hips up as Cas tugged at his jeans, pulling them off and tossing them to the side. “This is an orgy, Dean, not a shitty country song. I’d rather put my mouth elsewhere.” 

 

Benny snuck up behind Cas and wrapped a powerful arm around his waist. “Now, cher, if you don’t wanna kiss him… let him come out and play. Can’t have him all to yourself.” 

 

“Yeah, Cas.” Dean said, a challenging look in his eyes as he pushed himself to his feet. “Lotta options I’ve got here, if I’m gonna do this whole thing... might as well make it a buffet.” 

 

Some of his bravado was lost, however, when Cole spun him around and kissed him. He’d been trying to bait Cas, not… 

 

Fuck it. You’re young… ish. You’ll last. He dove into that kiss, letting out a small, satisfied moan as he took the opportunity to show Cas he wasn’t the only one around with muscles. He was glad that Cole was easily the smallest, because he was able to pick him up with relative ease and spin them around against the wall. Cole felt good in his arms, he was pliant and responsive. 

 

A warm body pressed up against him from behind and kissed his neck. Cas? Nah, cologne’s too strong. Benny, maybe? 

 

It was Michael’s voice he heard as hot breath sent a shiver down his spine. “Put him down, Dean. You’ve been holding out on us, let us show you what you’ve been missing.” 

 

He did, and when he turned, Michael dropped to his knees in front of him. His eyes sought out Castiel, and he locked eyes with that blue eyed, infuriating professor-slash-sex god as the last layer of clothing was pulled off of his body and that entire room got their first glance at what Dean was bringing to the table. 

 

Michael groaned at the sight, and as Dean felt a hot, wet mouth wrap around him, he bit his bottom lip. 

 

Cas looked like someone had shot his dog, which brought Dean a level of satisfaction he didn’t know was possible. He winked at Cas, then tilted his head to the side to catch Benny in a kiss as he leaned in. 

 

Your move, angel. 

Chapter Text

Now, Castiel had hardly ever been rejected, so navigating those emotions was not common ground for him. He had to fight every urge in his body that told him to leave the room. It wouldn’t have been the first orgy he ditched, they were only pleasurable if you were in the correct headspace and if you weren’t feeling it, the house had a walk-out rule. Let them go.

 

But he was also too damn annoyed to give Dean that satisfaction. He didn’t know why he cared, or why he felt like Dean was fucking with him but Cas… well, he didn’t like the word no and Dean was about to find out why he was the brattiest bottom in this group. 

 

Although Cas didn’t fully grasp how Michael was starting to feel about him, he was able to comprehend the fact that Michael would ditch anyone, anywhere, to fuck Cas. 

 

He walked up to the group and grabbed Michael’s hair, pulling him off of Dean’s cock roughly. “I want a taste, baby.” But he didn’t touch Dean’s cock, he pulled Michael back even further and slid his tongue inside his mouth, moaning at the flavor and deepening the kiss. As he expected, Michael easily forgot about Dean and turned to kiss Cas properly. He stood slowly, making sure their mouths never separated and reached behind to grip Cas’ ass, pulling him up to straddle him. 

 

Benny moved in Michael’s spot, along with Cole, they made out and sucked Dean’s gorgeous cock but Cas couldn’t watch that anymore. Michael always gave him more attention than anyone else and was laying him back on the couch and sucking his way down to his cock, mouthing at the panties. 

 

Castiel looked over and caught Dean’s eyes on him, refusing to break their gaze first as they both got their cocks sucked.

 

What Castiel didn’t realize was that Michael was watching him, and although the point of orgies was group sex, he didn’t like whatever was going on with Dean, because it was obviously deeper than sex, since they haven’t had sex. Sex was all Michael and Cas ever shared and he still hadn’t had the opportunity to have one on one time with Cas. There was always at least one other person when they fucked. 

 

Michael pulled off Cas’ cock and Cas didn’t even glance down. He considered it, but he wasn’t about to lose this battle. Don’t ask why. Unfortunately, that annoyed his current partner. Michael moved to stand and leaned down, biting Cas’ hip hard enough to leave a mark. “Fuck!” Cas groaned, the spell with Dean broken as he finally looked down at Michael. Fucking Dean won, again. 

 

“There you are.” Michael began to slide Cas’ panties off. “Something over there more important than what’s over here?” He reached between Cas’ cheeks and pulled out the plug and stood.

 

“Of course not, baby.” Cas looked him up and down hungrily, leaning forward to take his cock into his mouth. Michael gripped Cas’ hair tight and began to fuck his face.

 

It was rougher than normal, but Cas didn’t mind. Michael had always been more dominant than the rest, and the only one that could ever really tame him when he was in a bratty mood. This proved to be no exception, within moments Michael had his face pressed hard up against his pelvis, his cock shoved so deeply in Cas’ throat he was actually squirming to try and get some relief. That never happened, Cas prided himself on his ability to take a cock - or two cocks - anywhere. Yeah, okay. Michael’s pissed. Time to fix it. 

 

When Michael finally let go of his head, he pulled back quickly but a string of saliva and precum still connected his lip to Michael’s cock. He lapped at it with his tongue, not even needing to lower his voice thanks to the abuse his throat just took. “If you don’t let me ride you in the next eleven seconds, I’ll find someone that will.” 

 

Okay, maybe not even Michael could tame him all the time. But the man grunted, first sitting and then laying on the plush rug that covered the hardwood floors. Cas didn’t bother looking at Dean as he straddled Michael and slowly sank down, moaning a little louder than strictly merited as he felt his ass stretch further to accommodate him. “Fuck, yeah. So big, baby.” He bit down on his bottom lip and leaned back, bracing his hands on Michael’s thighs and his feet on the ground. He bounced eagerly as Michael thrusted up hard, the sound of his body smacking against Cas’ in the process loud enough to drown out most other noises. He tipped his head back as far as it would go and got an upside-down view of Dean still getting sucked off by Benny and Cole, although Gadreel and Balthazar had joined in too. He wasn’t paying close enough attention to figure out whose mouths were where, but the sudden attention to Dean irritated him. So much for fucking dibs. “Gad! Get over here, let me suck you off.” 

 

The sound of Cas’ voice seemed to be enough to bring everyone back to reality, because Gad wasn’t the only one that made his way over. Benny did too, dropping down and opening his mouth so everytime Michael’s thrusts forced Cas’ body up, his cock rammed into Benny’s mouth. It was overwhelming and fucking perfect, and for a moment, Cas forgot all about Dean and his stupid green eyes. 

 

Cas couldn’t see Dean anymore with Gad’s dick in his mouth, but once he blew his load down Cas’ throat, he moved aside to go watch his man get plowed into the couch by none other than that freckled fuck. Dean was balls deep inside of Cole who was balls deep inside of Balt, both of those hoes were a moaning, writhing mess. Like that shy asshole was that good. 

 

He didn’t fuck enough to be blowing their minds right now. Assbutt!

 

Gad walked around so he could suck off Balt. Dean’s thrusts were hard enough for Balt to face fuck Gad without having to move. Cas looked away, giving his men all of his attention. “Let me sit up more.” Cas moved Benny off his cock and sat up, kissing him and then ordering him to stand. He spun around so he could bounce on Michael’s cock while he sucked off Benny. 

 

Cas heard Balt coming, followed almost instantly by Cole and then Benny glanced over at Dean’s train and blew his load. Cas rolled his eyes as he swallowed. Even Benny came from Dean's little show. “Oh fuck, so good. So fucking good.” Cole praised, “Gad, you have to try him next baby.”

 

Cas stopped bouncing and turned around again, moving his hips slowly on Michael and kissing him sensually. “Take me upstairs.” He whispered into his ear. And Michael didn’t have to be told twice. He stood without even moving Cas off and carried him to the stairs. 

 

Cas didn’t want to hear about how fucking good Dean was right now, Michael was good. He always took care of Cas and this would be their first solo fuck. He pushed Dean from his mind and focused on Michael’s strong arms. 

 

------------------

 

The one thing that Cas hated was the afterglow. Most bottoms loved it, most people loved it, but Cas? No. Once everybody comes, hands fucking off. So when Michael tried to wrap himself around Cas and get comfortable, Cas cleared his throat. “Michael, baby, that was great… but I need to go back to my own room.” He was happy he at least had a clear enough head not to invite Michael to his room when they initially came upstairs.

 

“I finally get you all to myself and you want to leave?” 

 

He sighed, he should have known getting away from Michael wouldn’t be that easy. He was sure Benny would want his bed back at some point as well but it was fine, Michael only came once and nothing put a man to sleep faster than multiple orgasms. “Want me to leave you with a going away present?” 

 

Michael growled and shifted so he was on his back, and Cas went to work sucking him off quick and dirty. He wasn’t turned on himself anymore, but Cas could fake it with the best of them when needed, and even when he wasn’t in the mood he still loved making men as big as Michael squirm like that. 

 

Cas swallowed him down when he finally released, then shimmied back up the bed to lay with him for a moment. He hummed the entire length of “Enter Sandman.” 

 

Michael was already almost asleep by the time he got to the end, so he didn’t protest a whole lot as Cas slid out and snuck out into the hallway. Just as he was closing the door, he heard footsteps behind him. Not Dean. Literally fucking anyone but Dean. 

 

He turned, and forced a smile. “Hello, Dean. Have a nice orgasm?” It was laced with sarcasm, but whatever. He didn’t have to be happy about it. 

 

“Yeah, actually. Wasn’t as bad as I thought.” 

 

Cas thought he sensed a hint of defiance in Dean’s voice, like he was playing defense instead of answering an honest question. A stupid question, he was well aware, but an honest one. “Good for you. Guess that means you’ll be joining again?” In that moment, he wasn’t sure what answer he actually wanted to hear. 

 

“Dunno, maybe. Benny kept tellin’ me I need to bottom for him though, and I dunno if I’m ready for all that. Seems like you and Cole have got that locked down pretty tight.” Dean was smirking, and for some reason, it pissed Cas off. 

 

“Every damn one of us is a switch. We just know how we fit best together… or did, until you showed up.” Cas brushed past Dean, knocking their shoulders together on accident. 

 

Dean called out after him. “For a dude that just came, you sure are bitchy.” 

 

Cas stopped at his bedroom door. “I need you to be awake and somewhere else by 8am. I have a class to teach.” And with that, he closed the door, leaning back against it and wondering why the hell he was letting that hickish little shit get under his skin. 

 

“Bullshit.” Dean walked over and opened up Cas’ door. “I haven’t been to school in a long time, but tomorrow is Saturday. What are you really doing on that computer? Or are you just kicking me out for no reason?”

 

Cas walked back over, acting as though he wasn’t still completely naked. “It’s a quarantine, Dean. I let my students pick when they are available for my class to accommodate this hard time. They chose Monday, Wednesday and Saturday mornings, I’m willing to sacrifice for them. Are you coming in for another round? Because if not, I’d like to read a little before bed.” Cas pushed Dean out of the doorframe and shut the door. Click.

Chapter Text

Dean stood in the hallway gaping at Cas’ door for several seconds. He’d seen it close, heard it lock… but the thing that chapped his fucking ass was that Cas offered and then didn’t even give him a chance to accept. Uhh - shit. Turn him down. Yeah, turn him down.  

 

He made his way into the bathroom and cleaned up quickly, trying to get out of there before any of the others decided to carry on that fucking orgy in the shower or something. Dean still wasn’t used to the complete lack of boundaries in that house, despite the fact that he’d just been at the good end of a fucking sex train. 

 

He slept like shit, and in the morning, he decided to just listen to Cas. He didn’t wanna talk to him, or anyone else for that matter. He felt kinda dirty and weird, like even though the sex felt great at the time, it was probably something he shouldn’t have done. So by a quarter to 8, Dean was dressed and outside. It was a nice enough morning - a little chilly, but the fresh air felt good after a week locked in a house with all of… that. He took his time detailing the interior and when it got a little warmer out, he washed the outside. 

 

Dean was half tempted to wash everyone’s cars but Cas’, but the problem was he had no fucking idea which car belonged to who, so it was all or nothing. He was grateful enough to Benny for giving him a place to ride out the bullshit that he settled on all, and by the time he was finished washing all six cars, it was lunch time. Dean had skipped breakfast and was ravenously hungry, so he went inside and headed straight for the kitchen. 

 

“You’re even hotter when you’re wet, you know that?”

 

Dean looked over to see Benny sitting at the dining room table alone. He chuckled a little uncomfortably, this was his first interaction with any of them other than Cas. “Didn’t know you felt that way about me, man.” 

 

“Brotha, everyone with eyes and half a sex drive sees you that way. Men, women, don’t matter. Pretty is pretty.” 

 

Dean’s ego swelled a little. “So wait, am I pretty or am I hot? Cause there’s definitely a difference.” 

 

“Pretty, hot, beautiful, take your damn pick, Dean.” 

 

He smirked, clicking his tongue as he pulled out some ingredients to make a sandwich. “I think I’m adorable.” 

 

“Are you two finished?” Cas’ voice filled his ears and it was shredded, likely from the sex and the lecture he supposedly gave at 8am on a fucking Saturday. 

 

He covered the chill that went down his spine by tugging his shirt away from his body. “Y’know what? I’m soaked. I’m gonna go get dried off.” 

 

“I think you look fine, stay wet for us, beautiful.” Cas spoke in a teasing tone, but it was still sinful. “Enjoy a sandwich, Dean. I love watching that pretty mouth move.” He stepped around Dean and started making one for himself, bumping Dean slightly.

 

Dean had to completely ignore him, because that fucking professor outfit and sex hair was doing things to him he didn’t want made obvious. “Thought we agreed on adorable?” He pulled off his shirt, knowing fully that two could play at that game. “Make me a sandwich while you’re at it then, hm?” 

 

The difference between Dean and Cas, was Cas didn’t have any shame. The second Dean pulled off his shirt Cas licked his lips and rubbed his cock, “Fuck adorable. You’re fucking sex on bowed legs, Dean.” Cas sighed and went back to making a sandwich only he actually pulled out more bread to make one for Dean, which made him smile. 

 

“Funny. Haven’t ever heard a joke about my legs before.” Dean took a couple of slow, deliberate steps toward Cas’ back. “You know how they got like that?” He put his head just above Cas’ shoulder and leaned in, reaching around to take the first sandwich. Cas smelled faintly of some kinda fruit and the warm scent was washing over him, drawing him in even closer. “From pinning down brats like you.” He smacked Cas’ ass with his free hand and strode over to sit next to Benny, taking a bite. 

 

Dean wondered why Benny raised his eyebrows like he was waiting for Cas to say something, but surprisingly he didn’t and Dean didn’t know if he should be disappointed in that. “What?” He asked Benny, who was still staring wide eyed, but when he spoke, he was talking to Cas.

 

“What happened to no touching?” He asked, crossing his arms.

 

Cas had a mouthful of sandwich and took his time before responding. “This is what happens when we invite someone into our bed and we don’t lay down ground rules, maybe you should have that conversation with your friend. And Dean, I wasn’t making a joke about your legs, I was stating a factual observation. I happen to like them about you but don’t think for one second, you could ever fuck the brat out of me.” Cas grabbed his water and walked away to finish his sandwich in his office. 

 

Dean quickly looked over to Benny, “The fuck is his problem?” 

 

Benny was obviously amused, “Well maybe you should have said thank you for that sandwich?” He teased. 

 

Just then, Michael walked in the kitchen, “Why is Castiel in a bitchy mood?” He asked, plopping down next to Dean. Michael was cool, but Dean just didn’t like him. It probably wasn’t personal but he could tell the man liked Cas, and them having some private time yesterday was just irritating.

 

“Dean here grabbed his ass in the kitchen.” Benny laughed at Michael’s face.

 

“Cas doesn’t allow touching outside of sex.” He stated as if this was the most obvious thing ever. 

 

Dean set his sandwich down aggressively, “Why not?” It seemed like a weird wall to have. Fuck every one of my holes but god forbid someone hug me. He wondered what could have happened to make Cas that way, if it was anything at all, and it looked like neither of them knew the real reason either.

 

“Just who he is, Brotha, he thinks platonic groping is more intimate than a gang bang. Always been that way.” 

 

Michael spoke up again, Why the hell was he still here? “Yeah, he hangs out sometimes afterwards but he mostly disappears for a bit. He’s never let anyone help with his aftercare.”

 

“Aftercare?” Dean may prefer not to talk to Michael more than necessary, but he was intrigued.

 

“Yeah, afterwards. Especially for the bottoms, they need to be taken care of. Have you ever dabbled in BDSM?” He asked curiously and Dean shrugged and shook his head.

 

“Like whips and chains and shit?”

 

Michael and Benny both chuckled, “Well some do that stuff yeah. This isn’t the same, I was just curious if you knew about subdrop.”

 

“A what now?” The fuck is this guy talking about?

 

“You should look it up, for… science.” Michael stood and went to the kitchen to make a sandwich of his own since the bread was still out. “Sometimes after someone gets dominated, they get depressed. They give so much of themselves they just have nothing left, so the dom takes care of them. They see they are important and feel better after a while. We don’t do much BDSM unless discussed prior and we do those in much smaller groups or one on one, but even then, Cas says he does his own aftercare but I worry about him on those nights.” Dean could see Michael genuinely cared for Cas, and it irritated him even more.

 

“Maybe he just doesn’t need help? He seems like a strong guy.” Dean took another bite. “Plus you said that stuff is rare.”

 

“Well yeah but even after an orgy we all tend to have drops in a way. You’re surrounded by lust and attention and then you’re just alone. Everyone needs help sometimes, Dean.” He finished his sandwich and went upstairs. 

 

Dean turned back to Benny, “Doesn’t really answer my question, why is he so against intimacy outside of sex?”

 

Benny spoke lower, “Has to do with his childhood.” He looked around and leaned in, “I’m only telling you because I trust you, he wasn’t held as a baby and that shit leaves a mark. He’s worked years to be as comfortable in himself as he is today, but he still struggles with that. Sometimes I push a little, because I know the only way over this issue is through it. Make sense?”

 

“Sort of.” Not really.

 

“But if anyone pushes him too far, he shuts that shit down. Part of him discovering who he is and wants to be, was him deciding he would never feel forced into anything ever again. I don’t know that story though, he won’t talk about it.” 

 

“Has he ever had a real relationship before?” Dean asked curiously.

 

Benny huffed a laugh quietly, “Nah, that’s not Cas. Guess he had some girlfriend in high school for like three months but he’s never had a boyfriend. And she was the only chick.”

 

Cole and Gadreel entered the kitchen then and started talking about some movie marathon they wanted to have but everyone needed to agree on it. Like that would ever happen. Seven dudes are supposed to all agree on a damn movie? That would take the rest of the quarantine.

 

He fell silent as the guys around him bickered. He thought back over their encounters, and just a little bit ago, Cas had shoved up against him in their shuffle to make lunch. Maybe it’s just uninitiated contact he doesn’t like? This thought unsettled Dean, he’d barely known the guy a week, but he was the type of guy you wanted to touch. Even if it wasn’t sexual, he just had an energy that drew people in, and Dean was a physical guy… he had a habit of placing his hand on people’s arms or shoulders when speaking to them, it was something his Uncle Bobby instilled in him. It was a way to let people know they had your undivided attention in a world where technology ruled. 

 

Dean pushed himself off the chair and made his way upstairs deep in thought. He hoped Cas was still in the office, he wasn’t about to ask any questions but he wanted to see him for some reason, as if some answers would appear on his face. Unfortunately for Dean, the office door was open and Cas was all done, the computer already in sleep mode.

 

Damnit. 

Chapter Text

The sexual tension with Dean was fucking peaking. It was so bad that Cas had originally not been upset when Dean slapped his ass. In fact, he instantly wanted to fuck him, right there in the kitchen. But then he walked away, and Cas felt borderline violated. Not even by Dean, really, more his own mind.

 

Cas had rules and he also made sure everyone else made their rules. It was the only way an arrangement like this would ever work, they all laid ground rules days before the quarantine. Cole and Gad asked that no one take their boyfriend upstairs for one on one, which is completely understandable. Balt asked if someone can sleep near him each night, which Michael didn’t have a problem with, since he didn’t have his own room here either. Michael denied any bottoming, which was expected. He was a hard top with a bad experience bottoming. Benny’s rule was no one gets left out or pushed aside. Everyone knew Cas’, this wasn’t news, don’t touch unless he touches first - or during an orgy.

 

What were Dean’s rules? Did he have rules? Did he know what he wanted from this or even what he was gaining? Was this just a way to pass the time since he was stuck here? He decided he would ask… eventually. 

 

Cas laid in his room, thinking about Dean’s hand on his ass. Everyone in the house had been fucked or kissed Dean by now, except him. What the fuck was that? Maybe Dean just didn’t like him? 

 

“Castiel.” Michael. Cas rolled his eyes slightly.

 

“Come in.” 

 

Michael stepped inside, giving Cas the space he knew he appreciated. “You okay?” 

 

“Of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” Cas sat up on the bed.

 

Michael sat, still leaving a distance. “I know he touched you without asking. I was worried you were upset.” 

 

Cas thought about that, exactly what was he upset about? Dean breaking a rule he had no clue existed or Dean still not fucking him? Probably the latter. “I’m fine.” And he was, he was also annoyed that he was fine, especially since when Michael first grabbed his ass without permission, he didn’t speak to him for at least a week. They weren’t quarantined in a damn house together though, so that was easier than this.

 

“Everyone is going to watch the Batman trilogy in a bit. You going to join?” He asked.

 

“Yeah sure, I’ll change into something more comfy first.” Cas stood and started changing, not caring if Michael was watching but he heard his breath hitch when Cas pulled off his slacks and saw he had on panties. “What? I always prefer these.” He grinned at the hungry look in Michael’s eyes. “Do you want to touch?” He teased, laughing at Michael’s pathetic nod. “What do you want to touch?” He lowered his voice.

 

“I won’t even touch with anything but my mouth, let me blow you before the movie. It’ll be our secret.” He licked his lips and Cas’ cock twitched. He would have preferred Dean to finally come fuck him, but this would have to do. Cas walked over and slid his panties down just enough so his cock bounced free. 

 

“No touching baby, just that sexy mouth.” He didn’t care that the door was open, this wouldn’t take long.

 

Cas kept a half an eye on the open doorway as Michael worked his mouth on him. They’d done this enough times in a group setting that Michael knew exactly the way to slide his tongue to push him over the edge quickly, but Cas was already having second thoughts about letting the one-on-one time with him get out of hand. 

 

And then there was Dean, who was new and fresh and exciting and utterly irritating. Cas muttered a breathy, half-hearted praise to Michael, but his thoughts were all over the place. When did sex become complicated? That was fucking new. 

 

He shook his head quickly to clear his mind and had just started thrusting deeper into Michael’s eager mouth when he caught a flash of movement in his periphery. His head angled toward the door in time to see Dean standing there with darkening eyes... but not from lust. He looked almost as if someone had confirmed a suspicion he’d had, or like someone ate the last slice of pie. Did Dean even like pie? 

 

Annoyed by his thoughts and the fact that Dean was still standing there, Cas forced his face into a smirk. “So good, baby. No one’s ever made me feel this good with just their mouth. You love my cock, don’t you?” He wrapped a hand around the back of Michael’s head and stuffed his cock in deeper, holding Dean’s gaze until the insufferable little shit finally broke and walked away. 

 

Cas came down Michael’s throat with a satisfied, overly loud moan that had almost nothing to do with Michael’s skill.

 

Cas managed to get Michael out of his room and then pulled on some blue flannel pajama pants and an old Five Finger Death Punch t-shirt. He took a moment to think about why Dean’s angry face made him come faster than Michael’s skilled mouth. Fuck it. He needed to get his thoughts together, but not right now. He made his way downstairs and sat in one of the single recliners, so no one was close enough to touch, “Which Batman is this?” He asked, as he reclined backwards with a sigh.

 

“Christian Bale.” Balt said as though that should be obvious. 

 

“I’ve only seen these once Balt, don’t get your panties in a bunch.” Cas rolled his eyes but smiled. 

 

“Panties? I’m not wearing them but I know you are. What color are they this time?” Balt teased.

 

“Why don’t you ask Michael?” Dean said in a weird tone, plopping down on the couch next to Cole and Gad. 

 

“Or you can tell them, Dean.” Cas met his eyes and tilted his head.

 

Dean looked constipated for a moment, like he was biting back a retort that even he knew was stupid. 

 

Cas was eagerly awaiting whatever dumbass thing was about to come out of Dean’s mouth when Balt cut in. “The blue ones, perhaps? They really bring out your eyes.” 

 

Apparently, the pause gave Dean enough time to find his voice, which came out bitter and cutting. “Dunno, I wasn’t lookin’ at his waist. Mikey’s shoulders are a little too broad.”

 

When he thought back, Dean really hadn’t been looking at his cock, his eyes had been on Cas’ face. Which only served to thicken the already quicksand-like plot, in his mind. Cas smirked. “He’s certainly the biggest we’ve got around here, aren’t you?” He dragged his gaze to Michael, who was looking back and forth between them like they were sprouting antlers. 

 

“Can we watch the movie, or do you two need to go fuck this out?” Cole asked, reaching forward to grab the remote. 

 

Dean shifted on his seat with a scowl. “Just push play.” 

 

“Doubt Dean could fuck his way out of a paper bag.” Cas stood up, tossing the blanket onto Dean’s head. “Watch it without me, I prefer Michael Keaton anyway.” 

He made his way up the stairs to his office, smiling to himself as Dean yelled up the stairs, “Michael Keaton’s a bitch!” and then proceeded to get verbally abused for it by everyone else down there. Dean might be the hottest thing to ever walk through that door, but this house, and the people in it, still belonged to Cas. 

 

He shut the door to his office and sat down, assuming he’d have at least a couple of hours to prepare for the next tele-lecture he’d be doing since Dean was watching a movie. It was boring, but distracting enough that he shook off some of the frustration and managed to actually relax. 

 

After a couple hours, Cas heard shuffling and talking downstairs and figured they put in another movie. He sat back in his chair and spun, no longer in the mood to do lesson plans but not wanting to go back down and join, either.

 

He’d almost made himself dizzy by the time the door opened and he heard Dean clear his throat. 

 

“Oh. Sorry, I uh... thought you were somewhere else.”

 

Cas took a second to catch his bearings. Why was he just spinning in a chair like a child? “I was preparing a lecture.” He wasn’t ready to stand just yet. And he just realized he wasted hours, rereading and bullet-pointing sexual maturity when he could have been going through Dean’s shit. Dammit. Guess that wouldn’t be mature though, now would it?

 

“Ah. Do you mind?” Dean gestured to the pull-out bed, but didn’t move yet. “I won’t bug you or anything.”

 

Cas motioned for him to come in. “I would just move it all out of your hair if you were staying, but seeing as you’re leaving in a couple weeks it seems pointless. I don’t mind if you’re in here while I work, Dean.”

 

Dean’s face was unreadable for a moment, and then he closed the door softly behind him and went over to sit on the edge of the bed. “Yeah, hopefully they’ll find a cure or something soon. Maybe it won’t even be that long, and you won’t have to deal with me anymore.” He smiled then, but even though Cas didn’t know him that well he could tell it wasn’t exactly genuine.

 

Cas sighed. “Is that what you’d prefer?” He closed his book with a thud. He had his glasses on, so he could see Dean perfectly clear and noticed hesitation. “Would you like to all go our separate ways and pretend none of it happened? Maybe call one of us in a couple years when you need something and use the term buddy?”

 

Dean flinched. “Look, I didn’t exactly have anywhere else to go. And Benny owed me, it’s not like I was using him. Or am using him, if that’s what you’re tryin’ to say.”

 

“Okay, Dean. So, where have you been?” He asked, challengingly. Not just to make Dean squirm, he also was genuinely curious, but he wouldn’t show Dean that.

 

He was successful with at least part of it, because Dean squirmed, but it was apparently just to get himself in a more comfortable position to be an asshole. “I’m an adult, I’ve been busy. And unlike you, I don’t need someone to be in my ass to know they’re my friend.”

 

Cas actually laughed at that, loudly. “I can see why you have so many friends then.” He looked around dramatically and stood up, “Are they hidden somewhere?” Cas picked up Dean’s bag and started going through it, “Hello? Dean’s friends? Are you in there?”

 

Dean blushed beautifully, causing every inch of visible skin to redden. "Guess I should do what you do then, huh? Just fuck all of 'em but not let 'em give me a damn hug?"

 

Dean’s bag slipped from Cas’ hand and his head snapped up. He felt betrayed. What did know about his touch aversion? Had Benny told him about the time he tried to hug him? Cas realized he had been staring for too long and turned back towards his desk, rummaging his things together. “Don’t talk about things you know nothing about.”

 

"Oh, you mean like you accusing me of using my friends? Why the fuck's it okay for you to go around judging everyone?"

 

Cas stared at Dean with a frown on his face. He couldn’t care less if Dean or anyone in the world judged him. It wasn’t about that. “I don’t care if you judge me, that wasn’t…” He paused, choosing his words. Why the fuck was Dean so frustrating? “I didn’t realize that was such a sore subject for you. I wanted to annoy you, not wound you.” He chose honesty. “I apologize.” Cas may hate being wrong, but he wasn’t an asshole that deliberately hit below the belt. He still felt as though Dean’s hug comment was crossing a line, but he had to accept that, that was his hangup, and everyone had their own bullshit to deal with. He continued putting away his books, but more so organizing the mess he had created while packing a moment ago.

 

Dean seemed to be content watching him, but Cas could practically hear the wheels turning in his head. Dean's voice was decidedly... softer, when he spoke again. "I'm sorry I smacked your ass. I honestly didn't know, and if I would have... I'd never have crossed that boundary. I know you don't know me from the body on the other side of a glory hole, but... I'm not like that."

 

Cas looked up from what he was doing. “Apology accepted and I’ve never used a glory hole. Though I’m not opposed to the experience, I prefer to see my partner’s face.”

 

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Funny, I seem to remember you lookin' at me way more often than your partners."

 

“I know their faces, I’m still learning yours. You may not want to fuck me but you have no control over my spank bank, Dean.” He realized he was done clearing off the desk and felt he should leave, but he didn’t want to yet. “Besides, you still have that first timer deer in the headlights look that everyone has when they start group sessions. It’s incredibly adorable.”

 

Dean scoffed, but his skin flushed again. “I’m not... it’s not...” Cas could see the muscles in Dean’s jaw clench as he muttered, “You’re goddamn right I’m adorable.”

 

Cas grinned, “What do you know, we can agree on something.” They took a moment to stare, maybe too long of a moment, because Cas actually felt his cheeks flush as he realized it and looked down to grab his cellphone. “Well, guess I’ll get out of your room.” Cas walked towards the door, wondering why the hell he wanted to stay. Dean was fucking obnoxious.

 

If Dean had anything else to say, he kept it to himself as Cas shut the door behind him. 

Chapter Text

Dean stared at the door for a full five minutes after Cas left. He felt… lighter, like the elephant in the room now had a name, and that name was sexual tension. That’s all this was, at the end of the day. Sexual tension. Cas was trying to memorize his face for the purposes of jerking off and Dean was just… well, Dean. Being particularly receptive to praise works well for someone always in the spotlight, until they’re no longer in the goddamned spotlight. He was jealous, plain and simple. Jealous of the attention Cas showed other people, and jealous of the attention the others showed Cas. 

 

Yeah, that had to be it. And Dean was a big enough man that he could readily admit his faults. Cas needed fucked silly and Dean needed to suck up all the attention a room had to offer. They were whores of a different feather, but still whores. 

 

Even as he thought it, the word didn’t sit right with him. Yeah, he’s seen or at least heard of Cas fucking five different guys in the last week, but did it really count when everyone was fucking everyone? And obviously Cas had some… issues. Maybe he used sex as a way to compensate for the whole no-touching thing outside of the sack. That didn’t make him a whore, it made him human with a pretty run-of-the-mill coping mechanism. 

 

He could hear things getting… started, downstairs. He had no idea if Cas was even down there or not, but if that elephant was going to go away anytime soon, Dean needed to get laid. And if Cas was there… all the better. He’d be lying to himself if he tried to say he wasn’t deeply, ridiculously attracted to Cas. With that in mind, Dean stood up, stripped off his shirt, tried to fix his hair and tugged his sweatpants down a little lower. Satisfied that it was as good as it was gonna get, he made his way down the stairs. 

 

He searched for Cas but didn’t find him, and he nearly turned right back around - but Cole and Gadreel spotted him from the recliner where they were making out. Cole slid off of Gad’s lap and waved him over. “It’s about damn time.” 

 

Dean grinned, letting his eyes scan the room. Michael was missing too, and he felt a pang of jealousy when he realized he was probably somewhere alone with Cas. Fine, he’s not the only ass in this house. Benny was already balls deep in Balthazar and neither one of them were paying a lick of attention to Dean. He walked over to Cole, who pulled him into a kiss and a second later, Gadreel was wrapping his arms around them both and sandwiching Dean. 

 

Gad’s teeth nipped at his neck and he leaned back against him as Cole’s hands slid down his body. Yeah, Cas or no Cas, Dean’s dick was getting on board with things quickly. 

 

Dean felt Cole move away and looked over, then followed his gaze to the stairs just as Cas walked in the room, grinning with - you guessed it - Michael close behind him. “Baby is all prepped.” Michael said and Dean could tell he was fighting the urge to touch Cas. Dean was equally annoyed at the fact that Michael helped prep Cas and happy that he still wasn’t allowed to touch yet.

 

“Finally. I’m letting Gad have some fun with Dean tonight. It’s been a while since you fucked me, Cas.” He walked over with his lip between his teeth and noticed Cas nodded permission. Had Cas always nodded to give permission? Dean never caught it if he had. Within seconds, their mouths were clashing and Dean couldn’t look away, even if Benny was about to suck him off.

 

Michael reached out then and grabbed his ass, causing Cas to pull away from Cole. “What did I say Michael?” 

 

“No touching, until you say.” 

 

“No.” Cas turned towards Michael with his eyebrow raised. Cole wrapped his arms around Cas and palmed his erection through his panties, since he had permission to touch, he was taking full advantage. “What did I say?”

 

“No touching anyone until you say, Castiel.”

 

“Good boy. Go sit on the stool. Touch yourself and watch me fuck Cole.” He looked around the room, “No one touch Michael, he is being punished.” 

 

Dean looked at the others, slightly confused but they looked like this wasn’t the first time this had happened.

 

And Michael complied. 

 

Dean wanted to ask questions but realized now wasn’t the time. Wasn’t Michael the dom? He knew Cas was a switch, but not Michael. “Every damn one of us is a switch.” Dean suddenly remembered Cas saying that in the hallway, and wondered if he’d been talking about Dom/sub dynamics and not what he’d originally taken it as - top or bottom. He understood the concept that someone could dom while being the one to get fucked, but hadn’t ever seen it before. He couldn’t help but be intrigued. He made sure he gave Balt, Benny and Gad enough attention but he stole glances every chance he got.

 

Cas as a top was… fucking hot.

 

He had Cole bent over the couch and was stroking him with his thrusts, he looked caring and soft, as though he knew just how Cole liked it. But what got Dean, was the nasty shit Cas was saying to Michael. “How’s the view Michael? Are you leaking just for me? Just for my hole?” Cas pulled out a dildo and slid it into himself, pushing forward into Cole with a groan. “How does my friend look in there, Michael?” 

 

“Delicious, Castiel.” Michael growled, stroking his cock faster.

 

“Slow down.” Cas no, Castiel ordered. 

 

He complied. Fuck why is this so hot? Even if it is an asshole like Michael. Not that Michael was an asshole, but still, fuck that guy.

 

“You want to fuck me?” 

 

Michael nodded. 

 

“Tell me you want to fuck me.”

 

“I want to fuck you Castiel. Want to bury myself inside you and fill you with my come.” Dean was thankful others were watching as well, it helped him blend. 

 

“You going to keep your hands to yourself now, baby?” Cas pulled out the dildo. “You promise not to touch until I say?”

 

“Yes. I promise.” 

 

Cas hummed, taking his time to grant permission. “Good. Come fuck me, Michael.”

 

Michael instantly stood up and walked over, a growl in his throat. He gripped Cas tightly and slammed inside of him, making Castiel cry out. Dean didn’t like it, it was too fucking aggressive. He fought the urge to intervene, reminding himself that he had no say in this. 

 

Michael pulled Cas’ head back by his hair, “You’re going to pay for that, Castiel. Now and during our next session.” He growled again, shoving Cas’ head forward, beginning a punishing pace. Once again, Dean almost spoke up, until he heard Cas laugh and moan.

 

“Oh fuck yes! Fuck… Michael! So fucking good!” Cas praised, looking gorgeously fucked out. Cole was moaning things Dean couldn’t understand but they were both obviously enjoying this tremendously. “Fuck me like you mean it.”

 

Michael reached forward again and grabbed on Cas’ face possessively, gripping the sides of his head while he fucked into him roughly.

 

He pulled his hair, spanked his ass, bit his shoulder, it was fucking rough and for someone that doesn’t like to be touched, Castiel was fucking loving it.

 

“Oh fuck I’m gonna come.” Cas gasped, trying to hold back his release.

 

“Me too baby.” Cole said grunting as he released into his hand. 

 

“Thank fuck! Michael!” Cas moaned his name and slammed into Cole, filling him up. Dean felt like he would get off just watching Cas come, but him moaning Michael’s name was a turn off. He wanted to hear Cas moan his name. Not anyone else’s. 

 

He had to pull his eyes away and watch Balt bounce on his cock… when had he gotten on him? Wasn’t Gad just riding him? No wait, he already came. Fuck, was Dean really paying that little attention to what was happening on his own dick?

 

He may have been watching Balt ride him, but he wasn’t really seeing him. He pictured Cas. He pictured those infuriating blue eyes staring down at him while he rode him with no one else in the room, until he came. Balt was into it, because he came at the same time, boosting his ego slightly. He was still getting the job done without even putting his full effort into it, even if it wasn’t with the one he truly wanted.

 

Dean glanced over at where Cas was and saw Cole had moved but Michael was still pounding into Cas, his face pinned into the couch so hard his noises were muffled. Benny must have noticed Dean didn’t approve, because he attempted to distract him. “Glad you’re joining now brotha, really.” He finally looked away to give Ben a weak smile, but the timing worked out, because he heard Michael as he came loudly, fucking his way through his orgasm. He looked back over to see Michael gripping Cas’ hair and pulling him up into a sloppy heated kiss. Dean had to get out of this room.

 

He grabbed his boxers and sweatpants and made his way upstairs, denying Benny’s request to join him in the shower. Once he was inside, he jimmied with the door handle trying to get it to lock. It didn’t, and he cursed under his breath. Deciding to quit wasting time, he stepped under the water before it was even warmed up. Dean shivered, closing his eyes and ignoring the goosebumps all over him as he tried to scrub all of that off of him. He still had come on his chest… was it Balt’s or Gad’s? Fuck. It was probably both. 

 

Dean was still trying to rid himself of the evidence when the door opened. “Benny, dude, I told you I wasn’t into it, alright? Just give me a damn minute and you can come in here with whoever the hell you want.”

 

He heard a snicker and then silence, so he assumed Benny took the hint and left - until the shower curtain moved and he heard the soft splash of someone stepping in. 

 

“Pass the shampoo.”

 

Dean jerked at the sound of Cas’ voice. He wasn’t expecting that in the slightest. He cleared his throat and grabbed the shampoo, reaching blindly behind him to hand it to him. “Couldn’t have waited?” 

 

“Why? You didn’t.”

 

He turned his head just enough to see Cas’ eyes closed and his hands lathering the shampoo in his hair. Even like this, he was gorgeous. It took Dean a minute to register what Cas was referring to.

 

“You were busy. Seems like you and Michael have quite the arrangement, guess it’s a good thing I didn’t wait for you to show up.” Dean reached around Cas for the soap, careful not to touch him. He wasn’t sure how soon after sex that rule took effect, but he was never given permission to touch him even during that. Better safe than sorry. 

 

Cas hummed and smirked. “Yes, we all do. It doesn’t happen every time, but occasionally we dip our cocks in light BDSM.”

 

“Uh huh.” Dean handed Cas the bar of soap when the man blindly reached out for it and then turned to rinse himself off, his body shaking a little from something he didn’t quite understand. 

 

“Wrong, Irish Spring is for heathens. Pass me the bottle over there.” 

 

Dean looked down and saw a small bottle sitting on the indented shelf. “What is this, homemade? You make your own soap?” He picked it up and sniffed it, and his eyes immediately widened. It smelled like a combination of mangos and a tropical fucking sunrise, and now that he was smelling it from the source he understood why even the faded scent of it on Cas had made it hard to think.

 

“Yes, Dean. I make my own soap, it’s entirely vegan.” He smirked a little. “Haven’t you ever wondered why no one in this house can keep their mouths off of me?” 

 

“Shit, are you vegan?”

 

“I can’t seem to keep meat out of my mouth, so vegan is unfortunately not an option for me but I do treat my skin better than my mouth.”

 

He reddened and turned back toward the water, desperate for a change of subject. “You were kinda dommy today, even getting fucked. Do you ever sub?” 

 

Cas was silent for long enough that Dean turned to look at him. He’d finally opened his eyes, and Dean sucked in a breath at how deep the blue truly went this close up. “Why, Dean? Is that something you’d like to watch?”

 

He licked his lips slowly as he gave it an honest moment of consideration. “No, uh… I don’t think so.”

 

That earned him an eye roll, and Cas pushed him out of the way so he could step forward under the water. “Prefer it when I get all bossy, hm?”

 

“Nah.” Dean was outright shaking now, but it wasn’t often he got Cas in candid moods like this. “All I know… is that if you were giving yourself over to me like that… I wouldn’t want anyone else watching.” 

 

Cas froze as the water cascaded over his shoulders and down his back, his body completely still in contrast to Dean’s, which was apparently doing whatever the hell it wanted. He was robbed of whatever sassy, stupid thing Cas was going to say in response when Gad and Cole barreled through the door, heavily making out with each other. 

 

Cole looked over at them. “Bout damn time, you two. Take it elsewhere though, you guys have had long enough in here.” He was grinning, but Dean certainly wasn’t. 

 

He stepped out of the shower, grabbed his towel, and left the room without even attempting to dry off.

Chapter Text

A few days later, everyone was already getting antsy. There was too much testosterone in the damn house, especially when they went a while without an orgy. Cas noticed a lot of them breaking off and doing smaller sessions or one on one fucking, but Michael wouldn’t. It was almost as if he was waiting for Cas. 

 

He entered Cas’ room a few times to “check on him” but Cas knew what that was. Michael wanted Cas to invite him to stay. They had their one on one and he had been gravitating to Cas more and more since, he had to figure out a way to explain that sex was all this was. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the guy. He was hot and the sex was great, but Cas didn’t think any more of him. It wasn’t personal, he didn’t think of anyone there beyond sex... except for Dean. 

 

But that was just because he and Dean still hadn’t fucked. As soon as they fucked, Cas could get back to his normal routine of detached sex, right? Why did his mind constantly wander to Dean? It was infuriating.

 

After another lecture, Cas made his way downstairs for some lunch and wasn’t surprised to find Michael and Dean alone in the kitchen, he wondered what they were talking about. Michael made a comment on Cas’ outfit, earning himself an eye roll. He knew most people loved seeing him in his glasses but the rest of his outfit was pretty basic. Just some khakis and a white dress shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He had already removed his tie so he didn’t understand why Michael was complimenting him, either way, he didn’t engage in the flirtations.

 

“Dean, I am done with my class, but I do have to take some notes for my next lecture so I will be occupying your living space for another hour or so, you are more than welcome to join me in there as I work.” He always felt bad kicking Dean out so early for his classes. “Next lecture you may use my bedroom to sleep more if you’d like.” 

 

“Thanks Cas, I’ll do that. I definitely wasn’t ready to get out of bed this morning.” Dean grumbled, he sounded slightly annoyed, but Cas didn’t feel it was directed at him so he chose not to dwell on it.

 

Michael was still checking him out, “Would you like me to make you lunch?” He asked.

 

“No thank you, Michael. I’m going to eat something small for now and then I’ll have a real meal after my run.” He pulled out an apple and made a protein shake. 

 

“May I touch you?” Michael asked boldly. “I really want to do a scene with you Castiel.”

 

Cas took a bite of his apple, staring into Michael’s eyes. He noticed Dean stand in his peripheral and leave, moving faster than he normally did but Cas didn’t break Michael’s gaze. “No. To both.” He said once they are alone. “I just got done lecturing students and I’m not in the mood. About the session, again, I’m not in the mood. I don’t believe I can give all of myself to you right now and it isn’t fair to either of us to engage in any scenes. Balt just asked me to do a scene with him and I declined as well, ask him.” 

 

He turned and made his way upstairs to Dean’s room to drink his shake while he worked but he couldn’t stop the wheels from turning. Why did he say no? Why did he feel he couldn’t give himself to Michael? It wouldn’t have been their first time and Michael was a caring dom but it wasn’t what Castiel wanted. He entered the room, still in deep thought and noticed Dean was sitting on the bed texting someone. “Hello Dean.” The look Dean gave him was unreadable. “You left in a hurry.” 

 

Dean grunted, but at least it was something. “None of my damn business what the two of you plan.”

 

“Jealous, Dean? Maybe you should ask me yourself next time, before someone else does.” Cas tilted his head at the pissed off expression on Dean’s face. “Come on, Dean. Don’t be Ron Weasley, I’m not particularly fond of birds.” 

 

Dean smirked, the pissy expression finally giving way to something better. “Didn’t that ginger little shit bag the girl in the end?” 

 

Cas snorted and took a sip of his shake as he settled down at his desk. “Yes, and now I can rest easy. You’re decidedly not Ronald Weasley.”

 

“Well now I’m just offended.” Dean’s tone sounded anything but that, which only egged Cas on. 

 

“You’re… hm.” He turned his head to study Dean, his innocently playful expression and the sinful way his legs were spread on the mattress. “You’re Viktor Krum. Talented, get the girl for a while, but generally an all around meathead.”

 

Dean laughed, and it was a delicious, contagious sound. Cas grinned and turned back to his computer. “Now shut up, Krum. I’ve got work to do.”

 

——————-

 

Cas laid awake that night, entirely unable to sleep. He knew that sooner or later, he’d have to come up with a better excuse than “I’m not in the mood to scene” for Michael at least, but probably Balt and Cole as well. But the truth was, he didn’t have one. At least, not one he was willing to share with the others. Dean’s words kept replaying in his head every time he thought about scening: All I know… is that if you were giving yourself over to me like that… I wouldn’t want anyone else watching. What did that even mean? Was he just embarrassed about it, or inexperienced, and wouldn’t want the audience? Was it just him being possessive in that specific situation, meaning he’d want privacy with anyone he dommed for? Or was it because Dean also laid awake at night, wondering what it would be like to finally give in and just have sex already? Either way, Cas knew the reason he was saying no to everyone else was because he needed to know. He needed to see what kind of a dom Dean really was, and what kind of a sub he could end up being for him. He was bratty and defiant with Michael, compliant but not overly eager with Balt… and he usually dommed the others. But with Dean? Cas had a feeling that would be a whole different experience altogether. 

 

He tossed and turned on his bed for a while before giving up on sleep, pulling on a pair of pajama pants and heading downstairs. 

 

Everyone else had turned in hours ago, so Cas kept the volume low as he started in on Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. His mind wandered the entire time, mainly to Dean. His eyes, the way his mouth looked when he - well, all the time. Smiles, frowns, when he bit his lip… Dean Winchester decidedly had one of the hottest mouths Cas had ever seen, and his dick twitched at the thought of being inside of it. But, it had been just about two full weeks since the quarantine had begun and they still hadn’t touched each other despite showering together and a few passing shoves. He was antsy, he didn’t like being cooped up and he didn’t like being in such close proximity with something - or some one that he couldn’t have. 

 

Harry’s name was just about to come out of the Goblet when he heard the second to last stair creak. He turned his head and was startled to see Dean. “Did I wake you?”

 

Dean shook his head and sat down. “Nah, just can’t sleep. Kinda feels like the walls are closing in, y’know? I want this shit to be over.”

 

Cas noticed Dean sat on the opposite end of the couch and wondered why he was so far. Maybe he is respecting your space? He thought. But he didn’t want space tonight for some reason. Maybe he was just sleepy, but he actually wanted to be closer to Dean. “I do know actually. I’m claustrophobic.” 

 

To his surprise, Dean looked at him with something that appeared to be compassion, not pity or even disinterest, like he’d expected. “I’m not really claustrophobic, I just can’t stand being still this long. I need to move, y’know? Drive. Go places.” Dean licked his lip and continued, his voice quiet. “You okay?”

 

“I would say let’s go for a drive, but we would probably get in trouble.” Cas looked down and fixed his blanket. “I’m okay. Are you okay?” He held out one end of the blanket as an invitation.

 

Dean eyed the blanket and scooted over to get underneath it. Their knees brushed together as they settled, and Dean’s eyes widened. “Shit, man. I’m sorry, it was an accident.”

 

“You’re fine. I invited you over.” But he smiled. “You’re very cautious since you touched my ass, though I appreciate it, you can relax around me. I won’t freak out okay? I’m very vocal about the things I’m not okay with, so you don’t have to walk on eggshells, I will tell you if any lines are crossed.”

 

His words seemed to relax Dean, because he settled back against the couch a little closer to Cas. “Right. Yeah. I just know this whole ass situation is uncomfortable enough as it is, I don’t wanna make it worse for anyone if there’s something I can do to... not do that.” He made an adorable face, like he knew his sentence didn’t make any sense.

 

Cas laughed lightly, “You may touch me, Krum.” It was a fitting moment because Krum happened to be on the screen. “You’re much more handsome though.” He added with a head tilt, hoping Dean would blush and flash him some freckles. He was wearing his glasses and could probably count every one from this distance. Cas turned back to the tv, wondering to himself if he just granted Dean permission for their knees to touch, or more... probably more.

 

Nothing happened for several moments, and then Cas felt Dean’s knee against his own. He saw Dean out of the corner of his eye and nearly laughed - he had his bottom lip trapped between his teeth and was squinting at the tv like he was trying to concentrate very hard on it. Dean’s eyes flicked to his, back to the TV, then back to him. “What?”

 

Cas looked away, “You’ve seen all these right?” He asked curiously. Either he hadn’t seen them, or he was trying to not think about the tension between them.

 

“Of course I have, it’s Harry friggen Potter. Who hasn’t seen Harry Potter? It’s just a uh... good part. That’s all.”

 

Cas nodded, muting the TV and not bothering to hide his grin. “Oh? What’s happening right now then? Don’t look.”

 

Finally, Dean blushed. “Uh... Dumbledore’s about to yell ‘Harry, did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire?’ Instead of asking calmly.” 

 

As impressed as he was that Dean apparently read the books, he shook his head. “That happened 15 minutes ago, but that was an excellent guess.” 

 

“Shit, seriously?” Dean looked back at the TV as though he thought Cas was lying, and his blush deepened. “I knew that. Was just... making sure you were paying attention.”

 

Cas paused the movie completely and turned slightly towards Dean. “What really has you so distracted at 3am, Dean?”

 

Dean squirmed, causing more of their bodies to come in contact. “C’mon, do we really need to talk about this?”

 

“Why not?” Cas asked. “It’s 3 in the morning, you could be dreaming right now.” He smiled. “Tell Cas what’s on that gorgeous mind of yours. Or even better, show him.” Okay, maybe that was a little challenging, but Cas hadn’t gotten laid in days and dreaming or not… there was only one cock he really wanted.

 

Dean’s eyes flicked from Cas’ down to his mouth, and he leaned in, bracing one hand on the arm of the couch and stopping just shy of actually kissing him. “Your move, Hermione.”

 

Cas grinned. “Hermione should have made a move ages ago.” He leaned in and kissed Dean. Slow and unsure at first and the flame grew with each passing second.

 

It was like a dam breaking, that kiss. Dean had the nerve to moan into his mouth, his tongue pressing in and taking whatever it wanted. Cas pushed Dean back until his ass was flat on the couch and he swung his leg over, straddling Dean and gripping that strong, delicious chin in his hand.

 

Teeth nipped at Cas’ bottom lip and then Dean pulled back, his eyes closing and his chest heaving under Cas’ hand. “Cas, I...”

 

Shit ... did I go too far? Did he not really want this? “Yes, Dean?” He asked breathlessly. They bore into each other's eyes, both men trying to find words before Cas’ phone began to ring, breaking the trance.

 

Castiel reluctantly climbed off Dean’s lap and grabbed his phone. “Excuse me.” He walked towards the front door and answered, “Horrible timing. Why are you awake?” He closed the front door behind him and sat on the porch swing. 

Chapter Text

Dean opened his mouth to warn Cas that the front window was open, but no words came out. He was curious, sue him. Who the hell was calling Cas at this time of night, and was also important enough for Cas to stop what they were doing?

 

Not that Dean wasn’t already in the process of stopping it, anyway. The kiss was good, too fucking good, and all Dean could think about was having to share him. He’d seen Cas get wrecked on more than one occasion, and while he’d already decided he didn’t think Cas was a whore… he didn’t wanna get hurt. And Cas, with his ocean eyes and sex hair and dorky glasses and weird lines and - fuck, he was rambling even in his own mind. There was too much about Cas that intrigued him for this to ever just be sex, and Cas wasn’t the type that did more than sex. So, despite the bulge in his pants, it was better the sex just didn’t fucking happen. 

 

Too bad not even his upstairs brain really believed that. 

 

He pushed off the couch, hearing Cas’ low voice drifting through the window. He felt like an asshole for eavesdropping, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. He stood out of sight by the window and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms and staring at the floor while he listened.

 

“... yes, the fact that it is 3am and more importantly the fact that I have a raging erection right now.”

 

Dean looked down at his crotch. Same, dude. 

 

“I know I texted first but I didn’t expect y-...”

 

“Why would you assume he is the reason?”

 

Reason? Who? What? Fuck. Not hearing both sides of this conversation was already killing him. 

 

“No. Michael is just a friend. Everyone here is just a friend.”

 

As if Dean needed that rollercoaster of emotions. 

 

“Well yes, everyone except for him. But I think I’d like to consider him a friend one day.”

 

Dean chewed on his lip. 

 

“What does “more than a friend” even mean?”

 

He narrowed his eyes and muttered under his breath, “come back in here and find out.” And then, almost instantly kicked himself. Cas probably wasn’t even talking about him. 

 

Cas went quiet for a moment.

 

“No, I don’t understand, ju-... stop laughing and explain.”

 

Silence.

 

“Okay.”

 

“I don’t think he wants that. He doesn’t even want to be here.”

 

Okay, that’s gotta be me, right? Right?!

 

“What do I want?”

 

Excellent fucking question, Mystery Caller. 

 

More fucking, insufferable silence.

 

“Shut up, I’m thinking.”

 

“Well, no one told you to get out of bed and call me to hear me think.” 

 

“It was just a text. I’ll refrain from messaging at inappropriate hours but if we’re pointing fingers you-”

 

Cas huffed a laugh.

 

“Exactly. Look, don’t assume anything about Dean. I did, and it clearly almost ruined our potential friendship. We’re trapped here, we haven’t had sex and I still want to know more about him. I don’t know what that means.”

 

Hah! They are talking about me! Dean’s pulse quickened at the end of that sentence, but he barely had time to process it before Cas spoke again. 

 

“Why are you focusing on that? No, we haven’t.”

 

“Yes, I know everyone here fucks, I live here, remember?”

 

“Well… yes, technically everyone else has.”

 

“I…”

 

“I’m going to go now.”

 

“No.”

 

Castiel sighed dramatically, “There is nothing to consider, I will never sleep with you.”

 

Again… who the hell is on the damned phone?!

 

“Go to bed, Demon.” 

 

Dean heard a heavy sigh, and a single step that signaled Cas was about to come back inside. Panicked, Dean sprinted over and swan dived over the arm of the couch, barely managing to scramble and cover himself with the blanket again when the front door opened. Dean looked around the living room like he’d been studying it the whole time, and belatedly wondered if he shouldn’t have just gone back to bed. He was a horrible liar in situations like that.

 

Dean looked over, - because it would be weirder not to, right? -  and raised his eyebrows. “Didn’t know if I should press play without you.” Good save. 

 

Balt walked up from the basement with a frown. “What is going on up here?” 

 

“I closed the door as quietly as I could, go back to bed.” Cas walked closer to the couch.

 

“Not that, the couch. Sounded like one of you jumped on it.” Balt looked at Dean and then turned to go back downstairs.

 

Cas frowned and tilted his head and looked at Dean. He glanced towards the door and Dean saw the second his eyes noticed the open window. Gonna go die now, he thought to himself. Cas looked back at Dean and then back at the window. Play it cool. Is my face normal? What am I doing with my face?

 

“I think I’m going to head to bed. You can finish without me, if you’d like.” Oh, thank fuck he didn’t ask. 

 

“No, right. Me too.” Dean grabbed the remote and clicked off the tv. “You don’t have a lecture in a couple hours, do you?”

 

“Yes I do.” Cas looked as though he had forgotten all about it and was slightly panicking.

 

“So, you don’t mind if I crash in your bed while you do it?” Dean scratched the back of his neck as he approached the stairs with Cas.

 

“Of course not. I’ll wake you and you can go straight back to bed.” Cas smiled and started up the stairs. 

 

Do we talk about the kiss? Or…?

 

Except, he didn’t know how to ask that. They obviously should talk about something. But of course, they wouldn’t. 

 

They reached the door to the office, and Dean reluctantly opened the door. “Night Cas.” 

 

Cas turned and pulled off his glasses. “Good night, Dean.” But he grabbed Dean’s arm before he could go inside. “One more thing.” 

 

Cas pulled him in and kissed him. The heat was on simmer, but it was almost like he was trying to say something with his lips he couldn’t say in words. Before Dean could deepen it, he pulled away. “That was just to make up for the one that was interrupted, if it never happens again… well, I didn’t want that to be how we remember it. Sleep well.” And then he turned and entered his room, leaving Dean standing in the middle of the hallway with his mouth hanging open like an idiot. 

 

What the fuck was that?

 

———————

 

The next couple of days were awkward. Neither one of them brought up the kiss, but that following morning when Cas had woken him up, their hands lingered for way too long. Not to mention he couldn’t sleep for a goddamned minute in Cas’ room between the smell of him all over the sheets and the incredibly strong urge to snoop. He refrained from doing that, still feeling bad about eavesdropping on the call but shit did he want to. Maybe the next time, when he felt a little less bad about listening in. 

 

Meals were weird, and the nights were weirder. Dean pointedly stopped going to the orgies, brushing it off or changing the subject entirely every time someone asked. Those two kisses were enough to tell him he didn’t want anyone else in that house, and he was done even trying to fake it. But with things not getting any better with Cas, it looked like the last two weeks in quarantine were gonna be celibate. 

 

Oh well. 

 

One afternoon, they’d all been bullshitting in the living room when Benny had asked if Dean still played the guitar. He’d tried to shrug it off, but his reddening cheeks and stuttered words gave him away. 

 

“Aw, c’mon, cher. One song. We’re all going nuts stuck in here.”

 

“Yeah, alright. No promises though, I really haven’t played in a while.” And then, it hit him. “I don’t have my guitar.”

 

Balthazar slid off the recliner and stepped over Cole’s legs. “Not to worry, I’ve got one.” He disappeared downstairs and came back up a moment later with an acoustic guitar and handed it to Dean. 

 

It felt good in his hands, and he strummed his fingertips over the strings. It was tuned well enough and the strings looked to be in good shape. “Okay, uh… any requests?”

 

Dean’s eyes scanned the room. Balt was back on the recliner, Gad and Cole were cuddled up on the couch, Benny was sitting on the stool and Michael was leaning against the door. Cas was upstairs, and Dean flicked his eyes toward the ceiling. He wasn’t sure if Cas was lecturing or just planning one, but he didn’t want to disturb him by playing too loudly, but… he also wanted Cas to hear. 

 

“I don’t care. Something upbeat, I’m tired of everyone being so damn mopey,” Gad said.

 

He nodded, going through the catalog of songs he knew at least passingly well in his mind. “You guys like the Beatles?”

 

Balt sat forward. “If you butcher the Beatles with my guitar, I’ll hang you by your toes.”

 

Dean laughed nervously. “I’ll see what I can do.”

 

He licked his lips and started playing, trying to settle on a medium volume so if he did disturb Cas, he could at least feign like he hadn’t meant to. 

 

“Desmond has a barrow in the marketplace. Molly is the singer in a band. Desmond says to Molly, girl, I like your face… and Molly says this as she takes him by the hand. Ob la di, ob-la-da, life goes on, bra! La-la, how the life goes on..."

By then, his audience was clapping and singing along, except for Michael. He wasn’t surprised, he knew Michael didn’t care for him and now he was starting to understand why. 

 

“Desmond takes a trolley to the jeweller's store, buys a twenty carat golden ring. Takes it back to Molly waiting at the door, and as he gives it to her she begins to sing…”

 

He trailed off, letting Gad and Balt sing it for him. He laughed, strumming along and jumping back in with “La-la, how the life goes on.”

 

Gad reached for Cole’s hand and pulled him off the couch, starting to dance. 

 

“In a couple of years they have built a home sweet home.”

 

Benny chimed in with a “do do do do do do do do do…” to mock the keyboard, and Dean grinned, his eyes drifting over to the stairs. Cas was standing at the bottom, looking at Dean with a curious expression. No longer worried about keeping the volume down, he played louder. 

 

He made it through the end of the song, but he wasn’t sure how. Gad and Cole kept bumping into him, Benny was singing louder than he was, Balthazar was clapping along... and he couldn’t take his eyes off of Cas. 

 

“And if you want some fun, sing ob-la-di, bla-da!”

 

He strummed the last chord and stopped, laughing as Gad and Cole collapsed back onto the couch. He pulled his eyes away from Cas and smiled cheekily at Balt. “So. Gonna hang me by my toes?”

 

Balt shook his head. “Not yet.” 

 

Cas clapped slowly and walked across the room. “You’ve been holding out on us, I see.”

 

Dean smirked. “Who, me? Never. All you ever gotta do is ask, sunshine.”

 

“Hm. Is that so?” Cas draped his leg over the arm of the couch and sat down, raising an eyebrow at Dean and there was a definite glint in his eyes. 

 

Dean dragged his tongue across his bottom lip and hummed an affirmative. 

 

He could feel the tension in the air about to snap. They were so close, he knew it, Cas just needed to…

 

“Are we finished, here?” Michael’s voice was cutting and annoyed, and Dean glared at him. 

 

“Why, you got somewhere better to be, big guy?” 

 

They locked eyes, and it seemed to Dean like Michael was plotting his murder. Cas stepped between them, placing a hand on Michael’s shoulder. 

 

“Enough.”

 

Michael looked like he wasn’t finished, but it didn’t seem like he was willing to challenge Cas. He glared at Dean a few seconds longer and then disappeared into the kitchen, but the damage was done. The moment was lost. 

 

Well, that was almost successful. 

Chapter Text

Cas took a moment to look around the room, noticing the way most people averted his gaze. He frowned and followed Michael into the kitchen. “Go to my room, now.” Cas demanded, walking away and not waiting for an answer. Before the door even shut behind him, Castiel rounded on Michael, “What the hell is going on?”

 

“What are you talking about?” Michael stood straight. “What is going on with you?”

 

Cas tilted his head. “With me? I’m not the one sulking in the fucking corner, am I?”

 

“No. But you deny me, every time I reach out to you and you have some weird shit going on with that dude. Are you two secretly fucking?” Michael wasn’t backing down and it pissed Cas off further. 

 

“Would you honestly prefer I fuck you when I’m not in the mood?” He challenged. “Didn’t take you for that kinda guy, Michael.”

 

“You know that is not what I mean.” 

 

“No? Enlighten me. What does me not being in the mood have to do with Dean? What does and doesn’t happen between Dean and I, is entirely none of your business. You want to know why we haven’t fucked in a while, Michael? Because of this! Your alpha male bullshit. I enjoy it in bed, but you do not own me.” Cas couldn’t remember the last time he was so angry. 

 

“But I want to! Isn’t that obvious!” Michael yelled and Cas wondered if people could hear downstairs.

 

“Michael.” Cas spoke lower this time, forcing himself to sound calm. “Do not yell at me, again.” They both took a breath. “I’m sorry you feel that way. Because of that, you and I will not be having one on one time during the remainder of this quarantine. We both need time to reflect on the things said today, please leave my room.” And he did.

 

Releasing the breath he didn’t know he was holding, Cas ran a hand through his hair. Fuck!

 

———————

 

By the end of the third weekend, tensions were high with everyone, not just Cas and Dean. Michael was giving him the cold shoulder, Benny was asking too many questions, and Cas couldn’t breathe. He hadn’t been lying when he told Dean he was claustrophobic. Some days it was worse than others, but this was awful. 

 

He went outside to get some air and found himself admiring Dean’s car. It was sleek, pristine, and nearly as fucking sexy as Dean himself was. The combination was near lethal, and likely illegal in at least one state. 

 

Dean must have possessed some sixth or seventh sense that told him when people were sniffing around his car, because he was outside almost instantly and walking toward him. 

 

“Heya, sunshine. You alright?” 

 

Cas blinked at him. “Is that nickname going to stick? What happened to ‘angel,’ ‘Hermione,’ and ‘asshole’?”

 

Dean grinned that cheeky, irritating thing that made Cas’ heart do acrobatics. “Hey now, I never called you an asshole to your face.” 

 

He tried to exaggerate how dramatically he rolled his eyes, but eyes can only roll so hard. “Don’t worry, I didn’t touch it.” 

 

“Her,” Dean corrected. “Baby’s a her. A she. Chick? Whatever. You wanna go for a ride?” 

 

Yes, but not necessarily in the car. Maybe in the car, on you, but… “Do you think we’ll be able to get away with it?” 

 

“Not for nothin’, Cas, but if I don’t get out of this house for a little bit, either me or Mikey’s gonna die. I just don't get that dude. So, I don’t care if we get away with it or not. At least jail would be a change of scenery.” 

 

Just the thought of leaving behind these four walls for a little bit was enough to have Cas nodding. They got in the car and drove around for a while, listening to music and enjoying the ride. 

 

When Dean turned the car around to head back, Cas flipped through the box of cassette tapes on the floor and picked one. He swapped it out, and Dean made this strangled little noise like he was about to throttle Cas for touching the radio until Down With the Sickness started. 

 

“You like metal?” Dean was looking at him skeptically, like it was possible Cas just put in a random mixtape without really reading what it was. 

 

To further prove his point, he began to dramatically sing. “When suddenly it changes, violently it changes.” It wasn’t long before they were head banging like they were the only ones on the road, and they were the only ones on the road.

 

Dean shook his head, a confused smile on his face. “I don’t get you, man. You’re an animal in the sack, but you’re also this four-eyed dorky professor that wears bumble bee pajama pants, and now you’re a metalhead, too? Is there anything you can’t do?” 

 

Cas laughed, low and breathy. He loved being a mystery to people, and he pulled it off just by being himself. He had a wide variety of tastes and could wear a lot of different hats, just depending on the day. “Pull the car over and let’s find out.” Why not, right? No one to interrupt them now.

 

The car lurched forward as Dean hit the brakes a little too hard, but he managed to get the car off the road and in park before killing either one of them. Cas barely had time to unclick his seatbelt before Dean was pulling him into a kiss. 

 

He took no small amount of satisfaction in the fact that Dean seemed to be as eager for it as he was. They maneuvered awkwardly until Dean was in the middle of the bench seat and Cas’ legs were splayed on either side of him. As good as Dean’s hands felt sliding over his body and carding in his hair, Cas didn’t understand how he’d survived three weeks without Dean touching him. 

 

It wasn’t enough. He leaned back from the kiss, his lips already a little swollen from the intensity of it and tugged at Dean’s shirt. “Off, for fuck’s sake, Dean, why do you wear so many shirts!” 

 

He leaned back, his spine pressing against the dashboard as Dean wrestled his way out of a flannel, his undershirt, and the damn tank top under that. 

 

“How don’t you sweat to death? It’s not like it’s cold outside.” He kissed Dean again before he could respond and finally, finally, felt Dean’s bare skin under his fingers. 

 

It was worth the wait. Dean was solid and warm and beautiful, and Cas swallowed every sinful noise that came from him.

 

They made out like horny teenagers for longer than Cas would normally care to do, but Dean tasted so sweet - or, maybe that was just victory - that he couldn’t bring himself to stop until Dean was shoving him backward and pulling his shirt over his head.

 

“Does this mean we’re friends now, or have you finally figured out what ‘more than friends’ means?” 

 

Cas froze, blinking down at Dean. No. He didn’t… he’s not… “What are you talking about?” 

 

Dean seemed to realize his mistake a second too late. “Uh… nevermind.” He tried to kiss Cas again, but Cas flattened his palm on his chest and held him in place. 

 

“No. You were listening. To a phone call that didn’t fucking concern you.” 

 

Frustration was clear on Dean’s face, along with something a little like defiance. “Didn’t concern me? Cas, that entire fucking conversation was about me. You said my name! And the window was open, don’t act like I had to jump through hoops to listen.” 

 

He’d had a feeling that night that Dean had been listening, but he’d chosen to give him the benefit of the doubt. In that house, privacy was a rare thing, but stepping outside of a room to take a phone call was a pretty common signal that that person didn’t want to be overheard. A mix of anger, betrayal and embarrassment washed through Cas’ body, and he climbed off Dean’s lap. 

 

“Take me home.” 

 

“Cas, don’t do this. It was just a phone call, alright? I’m sorry.” The words sounded genuine coming from Dean’s mouth, but Cas was already gun shy enough about this entire situation and didn’t need any of it. 

 

This was why he chose to be alone, no one could be trusted. He clenched his jaw. “Dean, take… me… home. Now.” 

 

Dean pulled his undershirt over his head, started the car again, and they drove back in complete silence. 

 

--------------

 

“Hey brotha, can I holler at you for a moment?” Benny knocked on the counter Cas was walking by, he never grabbed Cas without warning - though he did learn the hard way.

 

“As long as you aren’t hollering,” Cas joked, watching the others go outside for the bonfire. They really needed the fresh air and since the news was looking promising, they felt they deserved some outside time, this would all probably be over in a week or so. 

 

Benny huffed a laugh and waited until they were alone. “Talk to me, cher. Why you so pissy after that drive?” 

 

Cas sighed, Benny wasn’t going to quit. But he did have a hard line about communication. “We… he listened in on one of my calls. It wasn’t even a big deal, but I still feel violated. Maybe I’m being ridiculous, I don’t know. He stirs up feelings I don’t understand... and then there’s Michael.”

 

“And then there’s Michael. He just has a crush, he’s a grown man, he’ll manage. But you need to keep up with your own mental health, Cas. I know you feel trapped in here, you don’t even do yoga no more. Get back on that. Can I be honest, brotha?” Benny always meant well, whether Cas wanted to hear it or not.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Dean doesn’t act this way with other people. Whatever you’re feeling about him, I can guarantee he feels the same.”

 

“And if I don’t understand these feelings?”

 

“He probably doesn’t either.” Benny laughed. “Ya’ll my two most clueless friends, seems fitting.”

 

“What does that mean?” Cas was already confused. 

 

Benny chuckled and opened his arms, “Let me give you a good old fashioned hug.” 

 

Cas smiled and rolled his eyes. “Fucking fine.” He leaned in and let the big bear comfort him. It felt nice, but Cas would have preferred Dean’s arms.

 

Even still, he let his friend hold him a moment  before he started to tense. “I feel that.” Benny pulled back, shaking his head with a soft smile. “Let someone in, brotha.” He nodded and made his way outside. 

 

Cas noticed his shirt wrinkled where Benny was leaned against during the hug and walked out trying to straighten it, then ran his hand through his hair roughly, not realizing he had full on sex hair now. He saw Dean had the guitar and sat in a chair across from him, shamelessly staring.

 

His gaze raked over Cas’ outfit and then his eyes landed on Benny, who was smiling over at Cas like he knew a secret no one else did. 

 

And, well, he did. Other than his friend Meg, he hadn’t told anyone that he might have real, legitimate feelings for Dean. So, what was Dean’s issue? And why did it seem like he always had an issue with Cas?

 

The song started slow, the notes ringing out through the backyard and Cas got an almost country, bluesy vibe from it. 

 

Dean’s voice was rough and low. “All you gotta do is... nothing. Trade it all in for... something new. Blame it on the way we were put together… while some remedy’s forsaken you. Oh, and…” 

 

He looked up then, his eyes meeting Cas’. “How do I get you off my mind, with you back… in my bed. How do you I get you off my mind… can’t have you livin’ in my head.” 

 

The words trailed off for a moment and Dean closed his eyes, pinching his tongue between his teeth as he strummed. “You can only stay awake so long, while deciding what is true. I lean in for a kiss upon your shoulder, realize it wouldn't do, not with you. So…” And his eyes were open once more, staring straight at him. Like the song was for him. Cas would never tell anyone about the butterflies he just got.

 

“How do I get you off my mind, with you back in my bed? How do I get you off my mind... can't have you living in my head…” They couldn’t look away, it was almost as if they were alone in the backyard and there weren’t… how many? Five other men watching this right now. Michael dropped some logs down louder than necessary and Dean finally looked away, watching his fingers on the strings of Balt’s guitar. 

 

Cas took a moment to look around and catch his bearings. What the fuck are these feelings? We just need to fuck right? Then all this shit will make sense? It’s about sex. It’s always about sex. He looked over at Benny and though Cas often missed social cues, he knew that ‘I told you so’ look. Narrowing his eyes, he looked back over at Dean.

 

“Play something less depressing, green eyes.” Balt suggested. “We’re finally outside and we’ve been planning this for weeks. We all want to sing to the stars, darling.” 

 

Dean started a more upbeat song without argument, but he also didn’t look Cas’ way again. 

Chapter Text

So Benny and Cas are fuckin’ now, huh? What, Michael isn’t good enough for him anymore? Dean didn’t know what he expected, but when he’d seen Benny come out with a sly smile and Cas fixing his clothes, he was hurt. Yeah, he knew they’d argued in the car and Cas wanted to come back, but he thought they were finally getting somewhere. 

 

Obviously, he was wrong. He should have known better. Cas didn’t make it a secret that monogamy wasn’t his thing, and it was incredibly fucking prideful of Dean to think that he’d somehow be the exception to that. He wasn’t planning on singing Off My Mind at the fire, but from the circumstances of the quarantine, to the dramatics, all the way down to the line that could be applied to Cas’ touch aversion, he felt that was the only song he could sing to get what he was feeling off his chest. 

 

Balt asking for something happier was both a blessing and a curse, because Dean wasn’t able to fully purge that knot of sadness that had settled in his chest when he’d seen Benny and Cas. He went to bed alone, and the entirety of the fucked up situation they were in took its toll on him. 

 

He tried to focus on the positives. None of them were sick and it had been over the two week incubation period, they weren’t going to run out of food or booze anytime soon, and Cas had let him use his computer to file for unemployment so he was basically stacking money for the first time in his life. It was almost a shame that it should be over in another ten days or so. 

 

Almost. 

 

Dean needed out. He needed to get away from this house, away from MIchael, away from Cas. All he had to do was hang in there just a little longer, and he’d be free. 

 

---------------------

 

The following day, Dean and Cole started drinking around dinnertime. Gad was being a dick - probably pent up energy from being stuck inside - and Dean’s mood was still tanked from the night before. It wasn’t long before Benny and Balthazar joined, and even Michael. Cas was still upstairs doing his slutty professor thing, and Dean was glad for it. 

 

By 8 o’clock, Dean was actually laughing. Cole was doing drunken impressions of Gadreel, who apparently didn’t drink. Cas came down with a flask in his hand and his favorite bee pajama pants slung low underneath a crisp, pressed dress shirt. Cas never could seem to decide what he wanted his outfit to be, and it was really starting to piss Dean off. Not because of the fashion choice itself, but because he found it so goddamn endearing and adorable that it made his chest ache. 

 

He had real, actual feelings for Cas, despite how hard he tried to stop it. To compensate, he took a couple more shots. 

 

“Started without us, hm?” Balt said, his eyebrows wiggling at the flask clutched in Cas’ hand. 

 

Cas smirked, moving to sit down on Gadreel’s lap - it’s fine, it doesn’t hurt at all - and said, “Don’t I always? If I waited around for you lot to catch up, we’d never get anything accomplished.” 

 

Dean shifted in his seat in what he hoped was a nonchalant move so he wouldn’t have to look at them, but he was drunker than he thought, and nearly fell off his chair. 

 

The room erupted in laughter, and Dean joined in. “Son of a bitch, who took the rest of this chair?”

 

Balt smacked his palm on the table like he’d just gotten the greatest idea in the world. “D’you know what rhymes with chair? Dare. Let’s play a lovely, warm-hearted round of Truth or Dare, shall we?”

 

He rolled his eyes, spinning his beer bottle on the table. “What, are we twelve? Who plays Truth or Dare anymore?” 

 

“What’s the matter, Dean? Scared of doing a dare, or are you more afraid of the truth you’ll have to spill?” Cas’ voice was cold and low, and Dean looked over to meet his gaze. 

 

“I’m not scared.”

 

Cas slid off of Gadreel’s lap and made his way over to the table, setting his flask down with a thunk and leaning in until they were way, entirely too close. “Prove it.” 

 

His heart leapt into his throat and he swallowed thickly, that stupid fucking vegan body wash clouding his thoughts again. “Fine, I’m in.” Cas smiled slyly and moved away, and the second his mind cleared, he regretted that particular decision. 

 

The game kicked off rather quickly, Benny dared Balthazar to play the rest of the game completely naked, Cole was too drunk to realize Gad was sober and tried to ‘truth’ him into admitting he’d rather be with someone else, which he didn’t. Michael dared Cas to scene with him - Cas responded that a game of truth or dare didn’t supercede any of their pre-existing rules, and that Michael should be disqualified immediately for even suggesting it - and he backed off. The way Cas constantly got alpha-male Michael to shut the hell up was… well, fuck. It was hot. 

 

Somehow, Cas managed to get out of having to do anything at all, and yet he still got to pick on someone. He paced around the kitchen and tapped his chin, looking at each and every one of them like he was having a hard time figuring out whose night to ruin. 

 

Of course, he picked Dean. 

 

“Truth or dare, Winchester?” 

 

Okay. On one hand, truth was the safest option. Cause yeah, it’s called truth, but it wasn’t like he was hooked up to a lie detector. He could lie and no one would know but him. On the other hand, he could avoid a potentially hurtful question by picking dare, and he’d already been in more than one orgy with them, how bad could a dare really be? 

 

He glanced over at Balthazar’s naked body and didn’t particularly relish having the same fate, so he set his jaw. “Truth, Novak.” 

 

The lack of a pet name seemed to have irritated Cas. “Why won’t you fuck me?” 

 

Dean was initially taken aback by the question. It wasn’t his fault they hadn’t fucked, it was Cas’! How did that dorky little shit even get off blaming him for it? Memories flashed through his mind of Cas picking other people, of him flaunting those choices, rubbing them in Dean’s face… his drunken, traitorous mind called forth the disappointment and sadness he hadn’t yet had time to bury and somehow turned it into anger. 

 

Self-righteous, dickbag anger. 

 

“Cause I don’t make it a habit to fuck whores.”

 

The second that word left his mouth, the word he knew he didn’t fucking mean, his own eyes widened. Cas looked like he’d been slapped, and he took a step back into Michael’s waiting arms. Suddenly, the regret he’d felt for saying it dissipated entirely and he pushed himself to his feet. “Yeah, Cas. Run to Michael, or Gad, or Benny again. You don’t need me to fuck you, you’ve already proven there are more than enough cocks in this house to fill even you up.” 

 

His blood was pulsing heavy and quick through his veins and he knocked the rest of his beer over in his attempt to escape upstairs. His eyes were stinging, he felt horrible, half because of Cas and Michael and half because he knew he’d gone too far, and he might not be able to fix it. He thundered up the stairs and threw himself onto his bed in his ro-- no, in Cas’ office. This wasn’t his room, this wasn’t his house, this wasn’t his fucking life. It was the virus, that god damned bat-soup virus that was causing all of this, and the second it was safe to go outside again he’d go the fuck home. 

 

Dean rolled onto his back and draped an arm over his eyes as he begged the world to stop spinning, literally and figuratively. It didn’t, it never fucking does, and a second later the door to the office was slamming against the wall as it was thrown open by what very well could have been hurricane force winds. 

 

He sat up to see Cas, who looked angrier than he’d ever seen him.

 

“You’re a fucking hypocrite, Dean. What right do you have to call me a whore when the last time I checked, you fucked everyone in this house too!” Cas closed the door behind him with enough strength that Dean was surprised the hinges held out. 

 

“Yeah? Difference is, I don’t want every goddamn person in this house, Castiel!” Dean slid off the bed, walking toward Cas with the intention of throwing him out - bodily, if necessary. He wasn’t in the mood for this shit, especially because Cas was absolutely, 100% correct. 

 

“Neither do I! You ridiculous, meatheaded moron!” Cas shoved his shoulders, the look on his face so intense Dean was pretty sure he had the makings of a fear boner.

 

Dean pushed him right back. “Yeah? Then why the fuck do you go running to eeeevvveryone and anyone else when we fight, huh? You can’t wait to get somebody else inside of you, and what do I do? Nothing. I don’t even go to those stupid fucking orgies anymore because I can’t stand to watch you with everyone else but me!” He didn’t know why he said it. He didn’t mean to, he’d meant to make Cas leave and then take a cold shower until he sobered up enough to sleep without waking up hungover. But now that the words were out, he felt… lighter. 

 

Cas narrowed his eyes even as his hands came up to cup Dean’s face. “You stupid, stupid man.” 

 

Dean had exactly one second of warning before Cas’ lips were on his, but fuck warnings. Fuck everything else, he needed Cas. And he was the exact right level of drunk to know precisely what he was doing, but also to actually follow through with it. 

 

He gripped the sides of Cas’ stupid dress shirt and snapped every single button in his frenzy to get it off. Cas gasped and Dean took the second of reprieve to tug the shirt the rest of the way off. “You bastard, that’s poplin.” 

 

Not making a ‘yeah, poplin’ off’ joke was probably one of the hardest things he’d ever done. So hard, in fact that he didn’t succeed. He said it out loud and Cas made the cutest face Dean had ever seen - half amusement, half natural-disaster. 

 

Dean moved back in, sweeping Cas into a kiss that he hoped was distracting enough to make him forget about the bad pun. They were completely undressed in the next couple of minutes, falling back onto the bed and tangled together. 

 

He begged himself not to speak, not to say a fucking word until this was over. If he didn’t say anything dumbass and no one interrupted them, he was finally, finally going to get the release he needed. He was finally gonna get Cas. 

 

Cas bit down the length of Dean’s bare torso sending rockets of delicious pain through his body and Dean arched his back, his entire being desperate to be closer to him. 

 

He wasn’t even remotely prepared for the feel of Cas’ mouth around his cock. The bastard didn’t dive in like he’d hoped, no… he licked a line up the underside of his shaft then bit and sucked on the insides of his thighs, making him spread his legs like a needy little bitch. But now wasn’t the time to give a shit about that, somewhere in his mind he knew that this was a one-time thing for Cas. And if he was only gonna get it once, he was gonna get all of it. 

 

“Cas, baby, angel, sunshine, fuck, c’mon…” 

 

Dean word vomited pet names, fisting his hand in Cas’ hair and bucking his hips up. “Just fuckin’... ahhh…” Relief and pleasure tore through his body like a tsunami on an unsuspecting shore. Cas’ mouth was incredible, it was hot and wet and his tongue, Jesus Christ, that tongue! Dean was squirming, thrusting up and pushing his cock deeper into Cas’ mouth, gasping and moaning loudly as the tip breached the back of his throat and slid inside. It didn’t stop there, Cas forced his head forward until Dean could feel his nose pressing into his fucking pelvis. 

 

His cock wasn’t the biggest or the thickest in that house alone, but very few people had ever been able to take all of him like that. He felt the walls of Cas’ throat constrict around him but Cas suppressed his gag reflex and made the single most sinfully hot noise Dean had ever heard. 

 

“Fuck, Cas, you want it so bad you’re gonna choke on my cock, huh?” The words barely came out, just breathy snippets of half-hearted dirty talk - not that he didn’t mean it, he was just desperate to do or say something to make him feel like they were back on even footing and he wasn’t getting completely devoured. His grip tightened in Cas’ hair and he pulled him off, not wanting to come anytime soon. 

 

Cas looked up at him, saliva and precum coating those fucking beautifully swollen lips, and the fucker smirked. “I don’t choke, Dean. But if you like it, I could fake it…” 

 

Dean growled, hooking his legs behind Cas and pulling forward, flipping them in a move that he wished would have been a lot more graceful. He hovered over Cas and leaned down to bite his earlobe. “The difference between you and me? I do choke, but when I want something bad enough, it won’t stop me. Should we see if I want you bad enough, Cas?” 

 

A breathy laugh escaped Cas and Dean didn’t waste any time. His body was doing that stupid vibrating thing it sometimes did when he was nervous, and he was definitely nervous. After that pornstar quality tease of a blowjob he’d just gotten, he had no idea if he’d live up to Cas’ standard. So, he overcompensated. 

 

A bite here, a lick there. He sucked on Cas’ nipple and ground their hips together, teasing him and working him up as he continued talking. “You think you want that, Cas? Want me to take your cock so deep in my throat my body begs me to stop?” He heard a mumbled, moaned yes, Dean, and continued down, his tongue sweeping over every inch of bare skin he could find until he was fully settled between Cas’ legs. He flicked his eyes up to Cas’ and sucked two fingers into his own mouth, sliding his tongue between them and hollowing out his cheeks around them until they were dripping with spit and Cas’ pupils were so lust-blown he looked more like a demon than the angel that his tattoo suggested. 

 

“Spread your legs for me, baby. I want you nice and stretched out for me when I finally get my cock inside of you.” 

 

Cas had his legs spread before Dean even finished the sentence. He hummed his appreciation as the pad of his index finger circled Cas’ unprepped hole, which suited Dean just fine - it even made him feel better, Cas hadn’t planned on getting fucked tonight. 

 

He stroked Cas’ thick cock slowly with his other hand as the tip of his finger dipped inside of him. “Eyes on me, Cas. I want you to watch this.” 

 

Chapter Text

Cas didn’t need Dean to tell him to watch, he wouldn’t have been able to look away from the sight of Dean Winchester about to suck him off if monkeys were dancing the hula butt naked with lightsabers right next to him. 

 

Every thought, every baby hair on the back of his neck, every skin cell in his body, every fiber of his damn being was completely alive and aware of Dean. He rolled his hips in an almost pathetic attempt to feel more of his finger, more of him. “Don’t be shy, Dean. If you’re gonna finger me, fucking finger me.” 

 

Dean smirked as he slid his finger the rest of the way in, his palm pressing up against his balls. Cas gasped and it gave way to a sinful laugh as Dean’s tongue flicked over the slit in the head of his cock. Cas ran a hand over the side of his face and teased, “Taste good, baby?” 

 

A playful, cocky expression flashed across Dean’s face. “Dunno, can’t really tell. Ask me again in a minute.” He wrapped his lips fully around Cas’ cock and sucked him in slowly, that beautiful, long tongue of his going to work. 

 

Skillfully speaking, it wasn’t the best blowjob he’d ever gotten. But it was Dean, and Dean was officially the hottest thing that he’d ever seen. The combination of satisfaction at finally getting it and the view itself was more than enough to make up for any technicalities, and Cas was quickly coming apart at the seams as Dean got a little bolder. 

 

When Dean’s second finger slid in and started properly stretching him open, his cock throbbed in Dean’s mouth and then the breath was punched completely from Cas’ lungs as his Dean’s throat expanded to take him in fully. 

 

He gripped the sheet with one hand and desperately squeezed Dean’s shoulder with the other, and the dualing sensations of being filled with thick, calloused fingers and a tight sheath constricting faster by the second were nearly as good as the fucking orgies. 

 

And to think, this was just the foreplay. 

 

Cas groaned, the spit on Dean’s fingers already useless and the stretch was becoming more of a burn than anything. “Please, for the love of everything holy, tell me you have lubricant. If you don’t fuck me in the next 10 minutes, I’m going to murder everyone in this house including you.” 

 

Dean pulled off his length with a pop and Cas almost regretted saying anything. The cool air from the oscillating fan hitting his spit-slick, throbbing cock was infuriating, so he reached down to squeeze and jerk his own record-breaking hard-on as Dean rifled through his bag for what he needed. 

 

“No need for violence, Cas. You want it rough, I’ll fuck you into that mattress until you forget how to English, but let’s not get hasty and start plotting murder.” 

 

Dean’s cock-wrecked voice sent a shiver down his spine which unsettled him, he was used to having that effect on other people. “You talk a big game for someone that can’t even find his lu-”

 

The bottle appeared in Dean’s hand and he waved it with a triumphant, sarcastic grin. “You were saying?” 

 

Cas rubbed the tip of his cock with his thumb and rolled his hips up. “I’m saying if you take much longer, I’m gonna finish myself off just by looking at you.” 

 

The arrogant expression stayed put on Dean’s face as he climbed back up onto the pull-out bed and settled between Cas’ open legs. He flipped the cap open and squirted a small amount out, rolling it between his fingers to warm it up. “Go right ahead, but if you think that you blowin’ your load early is gonna stop me from fuckin’ you, you’ve got another thing coming.” 

 

His stomach flipped and suddenly, he kind of wanted that. He wanted to be fucked out and completely fucking pliant before Dean even stuffed that delicious cock inside of him. “Bullshit,” he challenged. 

 

Dean laughed. “Oh yeah?” In two quick movements, Dean was sliding three fingers inside of him and smacking Cas’ hand aside to take him to the back of his throat again. There was no hesitation this time, he was sucking Cas off like a starved man and his middle finger was teasing his prostate on way too many thrusts. 

 

Cas moaned his name, and Dean made a strangled, choked sound around his cock. “Ahh, you like that, baby? Like it when I moan your name, so everyone in this house knows who’s making me feel this good?” 

 

The only answer he got was the sound of skin smacking against skin as Dean shoved his fingers in harder, deeper, tears pricking in the corners of his eyes as he ignored his body’s request for air in favor of bringing Cas to the edge. 

 

And at the edge, he was. “Dean, I - fuck - I -” 

 

A split second before he came, Dean pulled his mouth off and replaced it with his hand. It was so fast that he didn’t have time to feel the loss as he came with a growl all over his own stomach. “What - why?!” 

 

He was disappointed Dean didn’t even let him come in his mouth, let alone swallow. But his disappointment quickly gave way to something else as Dean slid his fingers out and leaned down to kiss him as he slicked his cock with a mix of lube and Cas’ come that he’d swiped from his stomach. 

 

Cas’ entire body shuddered. “Oh, fuck.”  

 

“You still want me, angel?” 

 

He’d half expected the answer to be no when he’d challenged Dean to make him come first. Thought he’d get away with getting off and teasing Dean, giving him a reason to come back next time - but no, he was absolutely positive that not only did he still want it - he fucking needed it like he needed oxygen. “Yes, Dean. I still want you to fuck me.” 

 

Slowly, agonizingly slowly, Dean’s cock stretched him open. He was loose enough from the foreplay and the orgasm, but Dean seemed to fit him fucking perfectly. He gasped, his nails digging into Dean’s back as he wrapped his legs behind Dean’s ass and pulled him in faster. “You’re so hard for me, Dean. You enjoyed sucking me off that much?” 

 

Hands slid down his thighs to his ass and lifted his hips as Dean bottomed out inside of him. “Uh huh.” Dean began moving, savoring every fucking inch of his cock sliding past the tight ring of muscles simultaneously trying to pull him in and kick him back out. 

 

Cas’ cock hung limply on his stomach but it felt good, so fucking good to have Dean finally in him that it gave a half-hearted twitch. He reached down to stroke himself, wondering if he could squeeze a second orgasm out of this before Dean came to his senses and this didn’t happen again. 

 

Dean watched with hitched, shallow breaths. “How’s it feel, sweetheart? You like being split open after you’ve already come all over yourself?” 

 

Another twitch, more insistent this time. Cas could feel himself hardening in his hand, and his entire body felt like the center of a fucking hurricane. Calm, in the middle of absolute chaos. “Good, Dean. It feels… oh, shit…” He couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t think, couldn’t do much of anything but shudder and grip his now fully erect cock as Dean reached down and gathered Cas’ come on his finger and sucked it off. Now it made sense, Dean had refused to swallow because he’s a goddamn fucking tease. “Move, Dean. Now.”

 

Dean slammed into him, blanking his vision and dulling every other sense he had. All he could feel, all he knew was Dean fucking into him like he was actively trying to break him in half. 

 

“Yes, fuck, yes!” Cas cried as he let the momentum of Dean’s thrusts force his cock into his own hand. Somewhere in the back of his brain, he wanted to switch positions, but he couldn’t do much of anything other than hang on for dear life and enjoy every second of what Dean gave him. 

 

Until he felt something lukewarm against his lips. He opened his eyes that he didn’t remember closing and opened for Dean’s finger, tasting the familiar tang of his own spend as Dean quickened his pace. Cas sucked his finger eagerly. “More.” 

 

Dean’s moan sounded more like a whine as he swiped up the rest of what was on Cas’ stomach and gifted his fingers back to Cas. 

 

It was dirty and hot and he was seconds from blowing another load all over himself just as Dean’s rhythm faltered and Cas knew he was close. He clenched around Dean’s cock and pulled his mouth off. “Kiss me when you come in me, it’s the least you could do.” 

 

Dean dropped down and kissed him hard, his hand joining Cas’ on his cock as Dean’s hips stuttered and he could feel himself be filled with the release of Dean’s pulsing, throbbing length. He gasped into the kiss and together, their hands brought Cas over the edge and he nearly sobbed from the sensitivity and sheer, unfiltered pleasure. 

 

They slowed to a stop, still kissing lazily as Dean softened and pulled out. Cas was a boneless, sated mess, and he wrapped his arms around Dean and pulled him down to his chest, both of them desperately trying to catch their breath. 

 

He knew his own rule didn’t allow for intimacy after sex. But fuck the rules, fuck the broken things inside of him that made him hate contact like this. He needed Dean close, needed to feel his heart thundering against his own chest. 

 

Dean kissed the underside of his jaw softly and slid one of his legs between Cas’, and Cas tilted slightly to the side to trap him there. Dean’s voice was soft, sounding almost far away as he asked, “Can I stay?” 

 

“Dean, this is your room.” 

 

“Yeah, but…” He left you hate when people touch you unspoken, but Cas knew what he meant. 

 

“Shh. Stay. I want you to stay.”

 

And he meant it. 

 

-----------------------

 

When Cas woke up the next morning, Dean was still sleeping peacefully next to him. He took a moment to study his face, the lines of his body, the way his skin felt against his own. Cas had no illusions, things with Dean had been complicated from the start and they’d been drunk. He didn’t regret it, the sex was absolutely unbelievable, but those feelings he’d been trying so hard not to look at too closely hadn’t gone away with either orgasm, no matter how badly he wished they would have. And Dean had said it himself, he saw Cas as a whore. He wasn’t wrong, but… he knew what it meant. Dean would never want more with someone like him, and he couldn’t blame him. 

 

To save them both the awkward embarrassment of the morning after, Cas untangled their bodies as slowly and carefully as he could, slid his pajama pants back on and grabbed the shredded remains of his shirt. He took one last look at Dean, and then quietly stepped out of the room. 

 

When he shut the door behind him, Gad, Cole, and Benny were all standing in the hallway and looking wide-eyed. 

 

“What? You prudes have never seen a walk of shame before?” 

 

Benny squinted at him. “Cher, if you’re ashamed of whatever the hell happened in there last night, you didn’t do it right.” 

 

He waved his hand in a dismissive manner and headed for the bathroom. “Don’t bother me, I want to be alone.” 

 

Once in the safety of the shower, he wrapped his arms around himself under the water that was almost too hot and asked himself a very important question: What the hell have you done?

Chapter Text

Dean stretched out, groaning from the way his body cracked and popped. After the events of last night, it sounded more like applause to his ears than pain or protest. God, he felt amazing. He wasn’t hungover at all, his chest didn’t ache, and let’s be honest… he balls felt about ten pounds lighter. He rolled over onto his side and blindly reached for Cas, but his arm fell straight to the mattress. Dean opened his eyes and looked around the room, under the blanket, and heaved himself over the side of the bed to see if Cas had fallen out. Nope, nope, and… nope. Fuck. 

 

He let out a breath through his nose and rubbed his eyes, refusing to believe that Cas not being there was a bad sign. Yeah, he’d said some dickish things, but that was the best sex he’d ever had. Maybe it wasn’t the best for Cas, but… it still had to rank at least kinda high up there, right? And it’s not like it was just sex, Dean wanted more… didn’t Cas?

 

When he sat up and saw Cas’ clothes gone, it hit him. No, Cas probably didn’t want more, and that’s why he didn’t stay. This was just sex to him. It was never gonna be anything else and Dean was President of the Fucking Dumbass Club for thinking otherwise. 

 

Blame it on the alcohol… and then again on the foggy morning brain.  

 

He smelled bacon downstairs and for a moment, all thoughts of Cas were put to the side. He got dressed with his nose in the air like a bloodhound, nearly tripping over the grey sweatpants he was pulling on. Dean didn’t bother putting a shirt on, they’d all seen him naked on more than one occasion and if all Dean would ever get from Cas was sex, well… he needed to entice him into another round, right? 

 

After a quick stop in the bathroom to piss and clean himself up a little, he made his way downstairs. Gad and Balthazar had cooked a full breakfast and already had a plate waiting for him. “We were just about to come wake you two up.”

 

Dean raised his eyebrow. “Two?” He glanced around and clocked pretty quickly that they were a man short. Cas was nowhere to be found, but at least that meant Dean could get some meat in his system before he had to face him. 

 

He ate in silence as those around him talked. Apparently, things were still looking decent on the news but there were no plans to end the quarantine early. He’d just decided to text Charlie and make sure she was okay - she never did tell him if she had the virus or not, and things had been so nuts since he’d moved in that he kinda forgot to check on her - when Cas finally made his grand appearance. 

 

“Good morning.” 

 

Holy mother shit fuck. If Cas’ normal voice was low, it was nothing compared to how he sounded right now. His sleepy voice was a lot closer to his sex voice, and they were both fully capable of turning Dean on. 

 

“Good morning, Castiel. Did you sleep well?” Michael asked, but Cas gave him a death glare. “Right,” he continued. “After coffee.” 

 

Balthazar handed Cas a cup of coffee and Dean watched unabashedly as Cas took his first sip. Cas must have noticed, because he received an entirely silent middle finger in response. 

 

“What, already? Damn, Cas, didn’t get enough last night?” He smirked, unsure why he even said it but maybe it was his way of finding out exactly where they were at. 

 

Cas didn’t bother to answer him. He wrapped both of his hands around the steaming cup and shuffled back up the stairs.

 

“Don’t mind him, brotha, he’s just… well, some mornings are better than others, we’ll just put it that way.” Benny added another couple pieces of bacon to Dean’s plate as he spoke, and Dean shrugged. 

 

“Whatever. Not like I was expecting anything, anyway.” 

 

A couple of the others exchanged nervous glances, but Michael decided to stick his big fat fucking nose into it. “You’re not the only one he fucks, Dean. You’re not special, you’ve never been special and you’ll never be… special. You’re just a novelty to him, something shiny for him to play with and then throw away. He’ll be bored of you soon enough, and come back where he belongs.” 

 

Dean’s cheeks flushed with heat, but he narrowed his eyes defiantly at Michael. He didn’t give a shit what that asshole said about him, but he didn’t fucking own Cas. “Last time I checked, he belongs wherever he says he belongs… and he never once said a word about belonging to you.” 

 

Michael took a half a step forward like he was going to come after Dean, but Benny stepped between them. “Dean, maybe you should eat your breakfast elsewhere.” 

 

“You fuckin’ with me, Benny? I didn’t start this shit, he did.” 

 

“Doesn’t matter who started it, Dean. I’m asking you to finish it.” Benny gave him a look like this wasn’t up for discussion, and Dean quickly reminded himself he didn’t live there. It was Benny’s house, and therefore Benny’s rules. 

 

He grabbed his plate and his phone, then made his way back upstairs to text Charlie. 

 

D: Hey Charles. You sprout antennas yet?

 

C: Not yet. If I’m being completely honest, I don’t think I was infected. I think I had a regular cold. I feel fine. How are you doing at Benny’s?

 

D: Uh... well, it’s fine. Things are fine. Does that mean I can come home now?

 

C: No dude. I can still be a carrier. Is it that bad?

 

D: Does your definition of “bad” include regular orgies and an extremely awkward situation with an angel that might actually be a demon? If so, then... yes. It’s that bad.

 

Charlie called then, and Dean hit ignore. He might’ve been alone, but he could still be overheard.

 

C: What the hell man. You can’t toss around the word orgy and then ignore my call! Or is this all metaphorical?

 

D: No, it ain’t metaphorical. I just don’t wanna say any of this shit out loud.  But yeah, I went to Benny’s when you told me I couldn’t come home, and... there’s like 5 other dudes here. It’s a giant fucking gay orgy. Like every other goddamn day.

 

C: Wow… did you try it?

 

Dean didn’t really know how to answer that. Charlie knew everything about him, it wasn’t like it was some kinda state secret that he was bi. But… still. 

 

D: ... yeah. I did. Couple of times, and uh... yeah. Turns out it’s not really my speed...

 

C: Okay, we’re definitely talking about that when you get home. What about the devil and angel thing? Are these role play orgies? Doesn’t matter. If it is not your speed. Say no. Don’t let those dudes pressure you. You probably didn’t click with any of them so I can see why you aren’t into it.

C: Or... you clicked with one too much...?

 

D: Nah, no role play. Apparently some occasional BDSM though. 

D: yeah, second option. Doesn’t feel the same though, so... I need this fucking quarantine to be over so I can come home. I’m half tempted to take my chances with the damn virus.

 

C: Who?!? Benny?? 

 

Dean had to stifle the laugh that escaped him at that. He and Benny had been friends for a long time, and yeah, they’d gotten each other off during their time here, but he’d never see Benny as more than a friend. 

 

D: Hah! No, though the guy knows how to suck a dick, I’ll give him that. He’s uh... got this roommate. His name is Cas, and Charles... you should see this dude. 

D: Smokin’. Fuckin’. Hot.

 

C: We do have different tastes, but i’ll take your word for it. And you slept together and he told you he doesn’t want more?

C: Also, send a pic of this hottie!

 

D: He showed up in my fucking room in a thong and a goddamned sweater vest. I don’t care what your type is, that’s hotter than hell. No pics, but I’m sure if you creeped around Benny’s Facebook you’ll find him. He’ll be the one with the sex hair, eyes bluer than the fucking sky and probably a bitchface. Oh, and uh... sorta? He’s not exactly known for monogamy. We didn’t even fuck until last night, and it was unbelievable. But he ran out before I woke up and hasn’t talked to me yet this morning. Flipped me off, though.

 

C: I’m pulling up Benny’s Facebook...

C: But i’ve known you a while Dean and you aren’t exactly known for using your words...

 

D: Yeah, I know. But trust me, kiddo. He doesn’t want it. Every time I think he might, he does something to prove he doesn’t. It’s fine, alright? It’s not a big deal, I’ll be out of here in a week and a half and we can eat pie and binge watch Dr Sexy until I’m over it.

 

C: HELLO HOTTIE! You know if you wouldn’t have warned me about the bitchface I would have thought he was the shorter one but his sex hair isn’t up to bitchface hottie’s level.

 

D: Told you. The dude is like a walking orgasm.

 

C: Don’t leave without saying everything you need to say okay? I mean it. If he’s an asshole then fuck him but you have to try for you!

C: How big was it? Just for the record. If it was small or weird we can make fun of him together

 

Dean heard commotion coming from downstairs, but assumed it was another fucking orgy and Dean didn’t want any part of it. He knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he’d already had the best this group had to offer, and he hadn’t been lying when he told Cas he wasn’t willing to watch him get fucked by other people. If they were in an actual relationship like Gad and Cole were, he could see maybe being okay with it but there would have to be ground rules, and they certainly didn’t have any of those. 

 

He heard laughter erupting after a particularly loud crash, and he squinted at the door. If that was sex, it was getting way rowdier than normal. 

 

D: I appreciate that, but... trust me, there's nothing to make fun of. He's got a gorgeous dick, and you know I've reserved that praise for a sum total of no one.

 

C: D! Are you falling for him???

 

More noises, more cheering. More confusion on his part about the cause. Extremely grateful for the distraction, he stuck his head out into the hallway and peered toward the stairs, curiosity getting the better of him. 

 

C: Don’t ghost me! You don’t have to answer, but at least think about it! 

 

D: Sorry, Charles. Gotta run, someone’s trying to break shit downstairs. Text you later.

 

He set his phone down and made his way downstairs, one careful step at a time like he was afraid he was gonna step on a landmine. When he got to the bottom, he chuckled. 

 

They weren’t fucking, but they were engaging in a different time-honored way of letting off steam - wrestling. 

 

Cole and Benny were rolling around on the floor like idiots, grunting and bumping into tables as each one attempted to get the upper hand. 

 

“What the hell are they doing?” He stopped next to Gad, who had sought safety on the other side of the couch. Michael, Cas and Balt were standing by the wall on the opposite end of the room and the furniture had all been either pushed aside or skewed to make room. 

 

“Wrestling.”

 

“Yeah, I can see that. Why?” 

 

Gad shrugged. “We’re out of lube, and wrestling sounded more enticing than a circle jerk or swapping blowjobs.” 

 

Dean shook his head, grateful for the bottle he had upstairs that only he and Cas knew about. “Only someone in a house as sexually active as this one would choose this over a damn blowjob.” 

 

“Hah! Pinned ya.” 

 

Benny growled from underneath Cole. “Yeah, alright Simba, that was a fluke.” 

 

“No, it wasn’t. You might have 30 pounds on me and like 4 inches in height, but I promise… an excess of size does not make up for a lack of technical skill.” Cole grinned at him triumphantly.

 

Benny’s body jerked as he threw his weight to the side and threw Cole off of him, laughing. “See? Size matters, cher. You don’t need skill when you’ve got girth.” He flexed his muscles, and Dean snorted as Cole swept Benny’s legs out from under him and had him completely flat out under him again in seconds. 

 

“Said by a person that has no skill.” Cole shifted his legs until he had Benny where he wanted him, and raised his arms in victory. 

 

“What does that even mean?” Benny tried and failed to repeat the same move that worked for him the first time.

 

Cole leaned in and kissed his forehead with a wet, exaggerated smack. “It means… that it doesn’t matter how big or small you are, if you’re good, you’re good.” 

 

Dean cleared his throat. Maybe it was just a product of his environment, but his mind went straight to the gutter with that whole ass exchange, and he found himself looking right at Cas. Was it good for him? 

 

Cas was staring right back, but his face gave nothing away. Of course it wasn’t good, or at least it wasn’t good enough. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking about Charlie’s words. Was that what was happening here? Was he falling for Cas? And more importantly, was he falling alone?  

 

He forced himself to look away, but not before Michael took notice. 

 

“Bullshit,” Michael said, his jaw clenched.

 

The two on the ground finally broke apart and Cole turned to him, sweating and tugging his shirt away from his skin. “Huh?” 

 

“I’m calling bullshit. Ben’s too… clumsy for this, and I’m bigger than any of you here. Size matters, it’s the only thing that’ll ever truly… how to put this… get the job done.” Michael was glaring daggers at Dean, and it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that Dean wasn’t the only one that had picked up on the wrestling/sex innuendos. 

 

Dean hated Michael. Hated everything about him, but most especially, he hated the way Cas’ eyes were lingering on Michael’s crotch. So yeah, maybe Dean had something to prove when he stepped forward. “Yeah? Wanna bet?” 

 

Michael grinned wickedly like Dean had just stepped into an elaborate trap. Newsflash, that shit wasn’t elaborate, it was rudimentary at best… but one glance at Cas reminded Dean that this wasn’t some friendly wrestling match between cooped-up roommates.This was personal. 

 

Was he really about to physically fight Michael… over Cas?

 

Yes, yes he was. Dean Winchester didn’t raise himself to be no bitch. Dean would have rolled up his sleeves to show he was ready, but he wasn’t wearing any. A pair of loose sweats probably weren’t the best attire to wear when you’re fighting a giant over the dude that may or may not be the love of your life… but whatever. It was too late to chicken out now and he couldn’t very well say ‘hey, let’s take a fiver so I can go put on something more appropriate.’ 

 

Benny spoke up. “There’s not one single part of me that thinks this is a good idea, but you’re both consenting adults and I can’t stop you. I can, however, remind you overgrown morons of the rules. No hits to the face, no broken bones. If someone taps, you quit. If someone says ‘stop’ because their arms are pinned and they can’t tap out, you stop. If I think this is getting out of hand and tell you to knock it the fuck off, what are you gonna do?” 

 

“Stop,” Dean said, though Michael remained silent. He was looking at Dean like a man that was about to have his wildest dreams come true. 

 

Dean licked his lip, and stepped forward. 

 

“Bring it on.” 

Chapter Text

Shit!

 

This was not going to go well! Cas was starting to get the vibe that Michael’s little infatuation with him had grown to something more, but he was under no illusions it was truly about him. It was about Dean challenging his fragile ego.

 

It was about the fact that they had fucked at least thirty times and they never once shared even an ounce of the passion he felt with Dean. Michael obviously knew that. He only wanted Cas because someone else wanted him too. If Dean never came in the house, they all would have had great sex for weeks. Michael would have gravitated towards him because he always did and Cas would have let him know it was fun but that was all it was, they wouldn’t see each other for a while and then things would be normal. 

 

But because Michael’s tiny ego was injured he wasn’t going to just walk away with his tail between his legs, no, he was going to pull out a ruler and plop his dick on the dining table. Because that was what alpha males did. 

 

“I personally care more about skill than size, since we’re all being honest here… I mean sumo wrestling is boring and they’re all huge right?” Cas tilted his head and checked the two men out. He knew he was egging Michael on, but whatever, he just hoped Dean would win. Michael had been treating him like property and he was not fucking okay with that.

 

He could see Benny tense, like he really didn’t want it to come to this, but this was like guy code… primal bullshit at this point. Might as well enjoy the ride, right?

 

Cas let himself appreciate just how hot Dean looked right now though. Fuck, his sweats were still kind of low and he definitely could have used a shirt before this but Cas wasn’t complaining. Michael must have noticed him looking at Dean’s body because the predictable assbutt took his shirt off as well.

 

He considered making it worse with a bratty ‘I’m fucking the winner’ comment and chewed his bottom lip, plopping his ass on the table instead. “Let’s just remember we’re quarantined and the last place we need to go is a hospital, okay tough guys?” He sighed, waiting to see who would make the first move. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes. This was ridiculous but if he was being honest, he had planned on challenging both of these guys after Cole finished Benny off. Cas wanted to challenge Michael to prove he could handle himself and Dean because well… he just wanted his body on top of him again, however he could get it. 

 

Images of the night before clouded Castiel’s mind and he almost popped a boner. It definitely didn’t help that Dean was about to wrestle with no shirt. Up until Dean showed up, Cas had thought Michael was the hottest one in the house - but looking at them both now, it wasn’t even a contest. 

 

Suddenly, Michael pounced first, and Cas cleared his thoughts to pay attention to the scene before him.

 

Michael thought he might catch Dean off guard - which was a cowardly move if you asked Cas - but Dean dodging him with ease made Cas smile.

 

Dean instantly took out his legs, slamming him onto his back. Michael scrambled to get out from under him but Dean wasn’t holding back. Fuck, he’s so hot. Cas couldn’t help but think. He definitely needed to fuck Dean again, and soon.

 

The way his muscles popped in all the right places had Cas crossing his legs. He had a moment where he wished they got along and could have a threesome, but then quickly pushed the thought away when he pictured Michael’s hands on Dean. He realized in that moment he didn’t want anyone else’s hands on Dean, and that wasn’t a familiar feeling. Is this how jealousy felt? Had he truly never cared about anyone to this extent before? Because he had fucked a lot of people in his life, and he had loved watching every single one of them get fucked by someone else. 

 

But not Dean. No, these emotions were different. He wanted Dean to kick Michael’s ass but he didn’t want Michael to lay a finger on him. He also wanted to be the only person Dean pinned down on the ground like this. He imagined these two men wrestling and then disappearing upstairs together to fuck it out, and the image made his stomach turn. 

 

That was what he and Dean just did right? They argued, fucked it out and then pretended it didn’t happen. But that wasn’t what Cas wanted. He didn’t want to just fuck it out and move on… not this time. Any other time the feelings dissipated after the sex but this time Cas wanted Dean even more. He wanted to fuck him today and tomorrow and after this fucking quarantine.

 

Which was almost over.

 

Would Dean want anything beyond the quarantine? Was Cas just part of Dean’s crazy gay orgy experience, just as he had been for so many other men? Was Cas just a whore? Yes. You are just a whore. No one wants the whore, they just want to fuck them. And now Dean had. He had completed the Lafitte house checklist. 

 

Michael getting out from under Dean brought Cas back to the events taking place and he had a pretty good grip on Dean’s leg. Was he trying to do some kind of leg bar? His position was completely off but he also didn’t look as though he was thinking correctly. 

 

Michael’s shit form turned out to be his downfall and Dean turned the tables, flipping around onto Michael’s back and locking him in a headlock. It was over, or should have been over, if Michael could set his pride aside and tap. Which of course, he didn’t. His face reddened and Dean looked as though he might just let go, but the room could feel Michael’s defiance. He wouldn’t ever let this fight end and Dean knew this was the only way to win it.

 

Benny was the one to step up, “Alright now, that’s enough.” Dean let go and stood, breathing hard and Cas walked over instantly. 

 

“You good?” Cas asked, running a hand through Dean’s sweaty hair, but he didn’t care. He knew what he wanted now, he wanted to be more than friends. Fucking Meg knew him too well sometimes. 

 

Their eyes met and Cas was sure they looked like two love struck idiots with soft smiles on their lips just as Michael punched Dean in the face. 

 

Apparently, Benny had walked away after deeming that Michael was fine, incorrectly assuming everyone would be an adult about this situation. Dean grabbed at his face to check for blood, and while there wasn’t any, Michael hadn’t pulled that punch. It would definitely leave a mark. “What the fuck?!” Dean exclaimed. 

 

“Michael, that was a bitch move!” Cas yelled, probably louder than anyone had ever heard him yell. 

 

“Enough!!” Benny yelled even louder.

 

“I’m the bitch? You’re the one jumping on this pretty boy’s dick because you're bored with your life. I thought you were better than some common slut but it appears not. All you’ll ever do, all you’ve ever done is give yourself to unworthy men.” Michael looked disgusted.

 

“If anyone is unworthy of anyone, I am the one unworthy of Dean. I don’t belong to anyone, but if I did, it was never going to be you, Michael. I thought I made that clear.” Cas turned to follow Dean, who had already made it to the top of the stairs. 

 

He vaguely heard Benny telling Michael something about how even Dean had told him it was Cas’ choice, and only he could choose where he belonged... but their voices drowned out after he told Michael it was time to move on. Cas reached Dean and stared into his eyes, his hand coming up slowly to touch his face where the bruise was already starting to blossom. Had Dean really stuck up for him, even after everything?

 

Michael shouted then, making Cas flinch. “I’m fucking done! Fuck the quarantine! I’m going home.” The basement door slammed and Cas knew he went to pack. Good. 

 

Cas interlocked his fingers with Dean’s and pulled him to his bedroom. They obviously needed to talk.

 

Dean’s gaze was glued to their hands and he had an almost pained expression on his face. “Cas, don’t. You don’t need to do this, okay? The punch I can handle, but this? You acting like I mean something to you?” Dean didn’t move his hand, but he shook his head and looked away. “I don’t think I can handle that.”

 

Cas frowned and squeezed Dean’s hand harder. “When have I ever acted in a way I didn’t mean Dean? I mean we may not know each other as well as you know Benny but I think you have a pretty good idea of who I am. I get it, I’m just a whore. But I’d like to try and be more than that... for you.” He nearly whispered those last two words because even as he said it, he knew he was unworthy of Dean.

 

“You’re not a whore, Cas. I’m sorry I ever said that, alright? I get it, you’re different, but that doesn’t mean it’s a bad thing. You go after what you want, no matter what that is.” Dean’s tongue darted out over his lip and he added, “So you don’t have to be anything more for me, okay? Or anyone else for that matter. If being who you are ain’t enough, then... well...” He shrugged then, a half-hearted, weak spike of his shoulder that was apparently supposed to fill in the rest of that sentence. Cas supposed he probably meant ‘then fuck them’, but couldn’t bring himself to say it for obvious reasons.

 

He tilted his head, processing all of Dean’s words. But he didn’t say anything about wanting more from Cas, which cemented his fears. 

 

Dean didn’t want him. 

 

He released Dean’s hand. “You’re right. Thanks.” He turned away and walked to his bed to sit, unable to look at that gorgeous face for even a second more if he couldn’t have him. Cas wanted no one but Dean, and no one wanted Cas but Michael. This is why I’m forever alone.

 

“Cas?” Dean sounded confused, like he’d missed a punchline somewhere. The punchline was me thinking this could work. He looked over at Dean but didn’t say anything, and Dean continued on his own. “I’m not good at this. Can you just... can we just start over? Pretend like we’re walking in this room all over again so instead of talking and saying stupid shit that’s not even a fraction of what I should be saying, I can just kiss you?”

 

Cas’ head shot up and he tilted his head again, this time with an even more confused look on his face. “You still want to kiss me?”

 

A smile broke out across Dean’s face and he opened his mouth, but whatever words were coming out were lost to the sound of Benny slamming his fist against the door. 

 

“House meeting! Now!”

Chapter Text

Fucking Benny! He was finally getting somewhere with Cas and this asshole wanted a damn house meeting. Dean was not in the mood for this but again, this wasn’t his house. He was a guest. 

 

Cas looked annoyed too but he stood and walked towards the door, he stopped in front of Dean and ran a finger down his arm, before hooking their fingers together. “Let’s get this over with and then continue this conversation.” He pulled Dean along by his fingers and opened the door. 

 

When they entered the living room, everyone - except Michael - was sitting around on the couches, and they took a seat next to each other. Benny spoke first, and Dean was slightly taken back by his anger. He knew Benny a long time, they had even been in bar fights together and he had never seen him this angry. “Look, today was a cluster fuck, and not in a good way. I get it, we’re all trapped in here. Emotions are runnin’ high, we’re all worried about loved ones and all that jazz, but that is no reason to act like we’re on some reality tv show. Cas, I had one request from you here and you couldn’t even do that for me. I told you not to fuck with Dean. I also told you months ago, if you’re going to fuck my friends, you can’t play no bullshit games. I know you have a lot of shit going on up there,” He pointed at his head and Dean felt Cas flinch. “But get your head out of your ass and think about the six other people in this house that are dealing with all this shit and your shit. It’s time to grow up brotha, and stop eggin’ people on to fight over you.” 

 

Cas looked wounded. His mouth opened and closed multiple times and it was apparent he was completely speechless. Which, of course, made Dean feel protective. Benny knew more about Cas than anyone and for him to bring that shit up in front of others was just low. Not to mention, Cas was actually a very considerate dude. Dean caught the little things he did. Like how he never showered first thing in the morning because he knew Benny liked to and never wanted him to run out of hot water. Or how he won’t drink the hard cider - even though it is his favorite - because it is also Cole’s favorite and they only have one case left. How he doesn’t even ask if he can take your plate or who’s cleaning the kitchen, he just does it. Cas was a damn good roommate.

 

Dean finally spoke up, “First of all, I’m an adult. I don’t need you to protect me, Benny. If I didn’t want to fuck Cas I wouldn’t have. And Michael acting like a possessive asshole isn’t his fault either.”

 

Cas finally found his voice. “No it is my fault. Because I have feelings I don’t understand, nor do I know how to express them.” His voice was smaller than normal so Dean slid his fingers between Cas’ for support. Not to mention, he really loved holding his hand. They were big, bigger than Dean’s, but fucking soft as hell.

 

“No, it isn’t your fault.” Balt spoke up. “You’ve never acted this way and Benny knows this. This isn’t some grade school drama, so everyone take a bloody breath and tell me who I’m sleeping with because I damn sure am not sleeping alone in that drafty basement.”

 

Everyone chuckled a little at the end, Balt always knew how to make people smile.

 

“My bed is open, cher. You don’t gotta be alone down there. And Balt’s right, maybe I should have calmed down before I called the damned meeting. I just didn’t want another one of you charging out the front door and putting yourself at risk. We’re almost to the end of this quarantine, and it was much longer than anticipated. I mean we knew it was a month and yet it still didn’t prepare us for this. I think we should have made a better schedule for our sessions and spaced them out maybe. I don’t know.” Benny finally sat.

 

“This wasn’t one of my best ideas, and I apologize for putting all of you through this. Benny’s right, I should have made a schedule. I’m not going to tell anyone what to do, but I won’t be participating in anymore orgies during the duration of this lockdown. I have a lot to figure out and I need to stop using sex as a coping mechanism.” Dean listened to Cas’ speech and felt bad for him but even more, he was kind of proud of him. It took a lot for a person to admit their faults, and yet Cas did. 

 

He saw Cas take a bite of a chili last week and pretend he wasn’t dying for water just to prove a point. That was how hard headed the guy was. And yet when it came to something as real as this, he acknowledged his mistakes. Every time Dean thought Cas couldn’t surprise him any more, he always did. 

 

Cole and Gad were curled up on the couch and Gad pressed a soft kiss to Cole’s head. He admired them; despite the obviously open relationship they were in, it was clear how they felt about each other. He didn’t know if they allowed each other to sleep around outside the confines of this house, or even if this was just a one-time thing, but it didn’t really matter. For the first time, he made the connection that love and monogamy were not mutually exclusive. Even if Cas still wanted to be with other people, Dean could learn to get on board with that. 

 

Maybe not right away, mind you. In his mind, you had to trust your partner completely to be okay with something like that, but he could get there, if he had to. Having Cas all to himself sounded like a fucking dream, but he hadn’t been lying when he’d told Cas that he didn’t have to be ‘more’ for him. 

 

Cole seemed to sense him staring and looked toward him. “How about another song, Deano? Maybe something slow and sweet so Daddy Ben over here cools his jets a little.” 

 

Dean laughed and Balt got up to go get his guitar. Benny scoffed, but a small smirk played across his lips. “Yeah, Benny, no offense… but I’m not calling you daddy.” 

 

Cas said something snarky about being the true daddy of the house, and Dean nudged his shoulder. A look of apprehension crossed his face but passed quickly, and Dean wondered if maybe he was taking advantage of the unspoken permission to touch him. He smiled warmly at Cas, who wrinkled his nose in response and it drew yet another quiet laugh from Dean. 

 

He hesitantly pulled his hand back from Cas’ and took the guitar from Balt. He clicked his tongue as he positioned the instrument on his upper thigh. “Hmm… okay. You want slow and sweet? Here’s one…” 

 

Dean smiled to himself as he started in on a soft, pretty little rift that had just about everyone in the room relaxing. “Someone’s always coming around here, trailing some new kill…” If that’s not the truth. He kept going, his eyes on Cas. “I’m so glad to meet you, Angeles.” 

 

Angel, angeles. Same thing. Dean looked up at him with a quick wink, and for the first time since he’d met him, Cas blushed. 

 

“Don’t start me trying now… uh-huh, uh-huh. Cause I’m all over it, Angeles. I can make you satisfied in everything you do. All your secret wishes could right now be coming true...” 

 

Gad and Cole were locked in a lazy kiss, Balt was leaning into Benny’s side, and his eyes made their way back to Cas. Dean was singing right to him, every word of this song filled with meaning. “Spend forever with my poison arms around you… no one’s gonna fool around with us. No one’s gonna fool around with us. So glad to meet’cha, Angeles…” 

 

He finished off the song with rolling, melodic notes and flattened his hand over the pickguard.

 

“Play another one, darling. Your voice is very soothing,” Balt said.

 

Cas got to his feet before Dean even had a chance to respond. “No, if this little family meeting is adjourned, Dean and I were in the middle of something that I’m very interested in getting back to.” 

 

“Go for it, cher. But we’re fresh out of lube,” Benny shrugged. 

 

Dean set the guitar down gently and stood up as Cas responded. “While I appreciate your concern, I wasn’t talking about sex.” 

 

The hush that fell over the room with Cas’ words nearly made Dean laugh again. He felt light, as though things were about to change for the better and all he needed to do was not say anything stupid. 

 

Cas reached out for Dean’s hand and he took it, following him up the stairs and back into Cas’ room. “Where were we?” 

 

Dean tilted his head, a tiny, playful smirk on his face. “Well, looks like I got my wish. We’re starting over, we walked into the room again… so…” He leaned in, his lips barely brushing against Cas’ but even that small amount of contact was enough to send warmth and adrenaline through his body. This was what kissing someone was supposed to feel like. 

 

“Dean,” Cas whispered against his lips. “As much as I would love to pin your ass to my bed and ride you until we’re both boneless, I think we need to use our words first.” 

 

He’d been afraid of that. Cas was right, and Dean knew it, but that changed very little. He never said the right things in these situations and he had a feeling that this was his last shot - if he fucked it up now, he might never get another chance. He pulled his lips between his teeth and stepped back just enough to dissuade him from kissing Cas again. “Okay. Yeah. Let’s talk, Cas.” 

 

“That was a very interesting song you chose.” 

 

Off to an easy start, so far so good. “Yeah, it’s uh… fitting. I am glad I met you, Cas. Even if you don’t want what I want or whatever.” 

 

“Hm,” Cas responded. “And what exactly is it that you think I want, Dean?” 

 

He shifted on his feet. This is typically where he’d say something incredibly fucking dumb, so he stayed silent as he considered his words. “I honestly don’t know, Cas. One of the things that draws me to you so much is that I can’t figure you out. You’ve got this straight-laced job and yet the first time I laid eyes on you, you were fucking yourself on my best friend’s cock with two other dicks in your hand. Sometimes you speak like a professor, all proper grammar and big words and the next you’re as laid back as the rest of us, listening to Metallica and walking around in a fucking thong. You’re the first one to help out if someone needs it and yet you’ve got every damn person in this house under your command, even Michael. You don’t like it when people touch you and that just makes it more meaningful when you hold my hand. I never thought I’d get so damn jittery about holding someone’s hand, but… in a lot of ways, it feels more intimate than any sex we could ever have. I realize what a fucking honor it is to have that right.” He realized he was rambling and still hadn’t gotten to his point, so he clenched and released his fists and willed himself to just spit it the fuck out. “I told my friend Charlie about you, yeah? And even just from the texts, she knew something was different about this. She asked me if I was f-... if I was falling for you, and I never answered her. But yeah, I uh…” God damnit, Dean. You’re there. Just do it. He scratched the back of his neck and shrugged, his shoulders half-slumped because he still had it in his head that Cas didn’t feel the same. “I guess I am.” 

 

He wanted to keep going, to say that he knows that doesn’t make sense and it’s only been a little over three weeks, but they’d spent every waking second of those three weeks somewhere in each other’s orbit. They’d fought, fucked, hung out, talked, ignored each other, pined over each other - well, at least Dean had been pining, he couldn’t speak for Cas - showered together and generally seen each other at their worst. So did it matter that it had only been a few weeks? 

 

“You say you’re not good at this, but I think you’re doing great. Me, on the other hand… I have next to no experience with this. My friend Meg, the one you overheard me talking to on the phone? She was my… I struggle to use the word girlfriend here, because it was more of an arranged partnership rather than a mutual relationship, but we’ll stick with girlfriend. My parents suspected I was gay when they caught me wearing my mother’s underwear as a child.” Dean tried to stop himself from making a shocked and also slightly grossed out face, but he was human, and he failed. Cas didn’t seem to mind, he continued, “Yes, it had exactly the implications that you’re thinking. Years worth of therapy later, it was worked out that it wasn’t some Freudian mommy issue as much as me choosing to express my sexuality in the only way I could at the time, and in case you haven’t picked up on it… it’s a habit that I still carry to this day. Although, I’m very glad to say that I no longer have to use my mothers.” 

 

Cas smiled then, and Dean chuckled. “Thank Christ. I’m not sayin’ that woulda been a dealbreaker, but… yeah, it might’ve been a dealbreaker for me.” 

 

“Anyway,” Cas said, taking a seat on the edge of his bed. “When I was well into my teenage years and still showed absolutely no signs of being attracted to women, my parents took the advice of their church and set me up with a fellow parishoner’s daughter, Meg. She was unconventionally pretty with a mouth like a sailor and a wit sharper than Aragorn’s sword. I was comfortable around her, she had no issue with my true sexuality and let me be who I wanted to be, all while providing me the cover of having a girlfriend to get my parents off my back. It was also around this time that I started putting a name to my touch aversion. Up until that point, I thought everyone felt like knives were piercing their skin when others touched them and simply shoved it down in order to be intimate with one another. She helped me realize that wasn’t the case, and I was able to get enough help that I can not only communicate the issue without embarrassment to those I meet, but also overcome it in at least certain situations. Sex was one of the first, and I’ve been using it as a replacement for actual human intimacy ever since. Hence, the orgies. But, because of all of this and a whole host of other things we don’t have time to get into, I’ve never been in a real relationship before… monogamous or polyamorous. And as such, I don’t have a lot of experience with tangible feelings that go beyond orgasms, and I’m afraid I’m atrocious at expressing them.” 

 

Cas fell silent and it gave Dean a chance to digest all of that. His heart broke thinking about Cas growing up without a support system. His own dad was never around, but his mom had been awesome. He’d been openly bi since he’d hit puberty, and his mom was never anything but supportive about it. 

 

“When you were talking to your student, you uh… mentioned that you’d been with a woman. Was it Meg?” Dean tried to ask softly, heavily implying he wasn’t demanding an answer. Just in case he failed, he hastily added, “You don’t have to answer that if you don’t want to.”

 

After a brief pause, Cas nodded. “Yes. I was completely comfortable with her and thought if I were ever going to be attracted to a woman, it would be her. We talked about it beforehand and agreed we’d try, but I couldn’t get it up. Despite the emotional attachment I felt toward her, I had no physical attraction. She teased me silly about it but never in a way that was hurtful. It’s one of the reasons we’re still friends to this day.” 

 

He walked over to the bed and sat next to Cas, holding out his hand to give Cas the option to take it or leave it. “Look, Cas. I hear you, and I’m not gonna lie - that’s a lot to process. But it doesn’t scare me away. I want this, so it’s up to you if you’re ready to try or not. I won’t put any pressure on you, and now that I know what the fuck is going on, I’ll try to be less… me about it.” Cas tilted his head like he didn’t understand. “Y’know, jealous and sulky. I get the fact that this is a learning curve for both of us, but who better to learn with than a damn professor?” 

 

Dean quirked a smile, and Cas flattened his hand against Dean’s still outstretched one, their fingers lining up almost perfectly despite the fact that Dean’s hands were a little smaller. 

 

“Okay, Dean. Let’s try.” 

Chapter Text

It was amazing how things shifted once they opened up about how they felt. Watching movies with everyone else found them holding hands under the blanket or messing with each other by trying to see who could give the other a boner first without anyone noticing. He’d skipped the group sex for the very first time in favor of laying in bed with Dean, his head on those gorgeous abs, listening to their favorite songs. They snuck out for another drive - and that time, no one mentioned going back home until they’d fogged up every window of that car twice. They were pretty much inseparable, especially because Michael was no longer trying to take up all of Cas’ attention. He still couldn’t believe Dean agreed to wrestle Michael in the first place, but every time Cas caught a glimpse of Dean’s shiner, he’d grin from ear to ear. Finally, somebody knew exactly who he was, and still fought for him.

 

Although Cas hadn’t expected to open up so much to Dean about his past, it felt fucking amazing. He told him things he hadn’t even told Benny. But the things he shared with Dean, he never had the desire to share before. They really weren’t anyone’s business and yet he felt he could trust Dean. He found himself opening up about the most random things after that and it was almost word vomit he couldn’t control.

 

When I was five, I punched my kindergarten teacher in the face for touching my arm.

 

I had two pet frogs, and they were just… the worst. Not even I wanted them, but they were mine and I felt responsible for them. But my brother hated them so bad he set them free… in the gutter. They were water frogs, so I’m sure they died quickly.

 

Then he felt bad and bought me a guinea pig after that and I named her Hazel. I liked her a lot… I’ve thought about getting another one, but haven’t gotten around to it. 

 

When I was in high school, I was convinced I could get Brendon Urie to fuck me if I offered my virginity to him. Yes, I was “unfuckably” awkward but I was also saving my virtue for the lead singer of Panic! at the Disco. Don’t judge me, didn’t you have an emo phase? 

 

My first real kiss was a boy in gym class in the eleventh grade. Yes, I was a late-bloomer. No, I had no idea what I was doing, but he kissed me again anyway and then I never talked to him again.

 

Dean listened to all of it and never interrupted, but he did ask questions when Cas would finally take a breath. He wanted to know how his parents reacted when he punched the teacher, what color Hazel was, if he still likes P!ATD. He genuinely cared, and for the first time in his life, Castiel felt heard. 

 

They talked a lot, but Cas’ favorite moments we’re actually the silent ones. It didn’t take long, but soon Cas was able to sleep in bed with Dean, his head on his chest, completely comfortable and content. 

 

Cas still had his moments, one time Dean gripped his hips from behind when he was making his body wash and his entire body tensed. He had to fight every urge to shove him off and snap. Unexpected touch would probably always be a problem for Cas and he felt immensely guilty about it. Dean deserved more than he could give, he loved physical touch and Cas feared he would never be able to give Dean what he craved. He feared Dean would one day realize Cas wasn’t worth the trouble and leave, but in the meantime, Castiel was going to work hard on himself and never give up trying to be worthy of Dean. That being said, Cas was far from perfect. 

 

Everything was looking good, and going smoothly, so when Cas woke up in one of his moods,it caught everyone in the house off guard, especially Dean.

 

He woke up feeling... off, there was no other word to describe it. Waking up in Dean’s arms was easily becoming his favorite thing but for some reason today, it was suffocating. Cas was able to escape Dean’s hold without waking him and left the room. 

 

Balt and Cole were in the kitchen having coffee and instantly felt Cas’ tense energy. Cole had been living here a few months and he knew the best way to approach Cas on these days was at a distance, so he nodded a farewell at Balt and went upstairs to the comfort of his room with Gad, leaving Cas and Balt downstairs. 

 

Cas poured some coffee and hopped on the counter, slowly blowing on the steam and inhaling the bitter but comforting scent. “What’s got your wand in a knot?” Balt asked, his British accent was Cas’ favorite thing about him, but today it was no different than nails on a chalkboard. Cas glared and looked back to his coffee, not bothering with a response and Balt scoffed and retreated to Benny’s room.

 

Whether he sent Benny downstairs or not, Cas didn’t know, but he got about two sips of his dark liquid gold before his accent was making Cas cringe. “What’s going on, cher? Talk to me.” He stood in front of him and Cas glanced up to meet his eyes.

 

“I just want some coffee in peace. Can I have one morning where someone isn’t trying to fix me?” His sharp response made Benny frown but he tried to remain patient. 

 

“No one is trying to fix you. The hell are you even talking about? You and Dean fighting again?” Benny asked, trying to understand.

 

“No one is talking about Dean. I’m my own person with my own goddamn feelings!” His voice rose as he went on. “I’m just fucking hot!” Cas slammed his favorite mug down on the counter, hard enough to crack the bottom, prompting a slow drip of coffee. The second he noticed it was broken tipped the scales. “Fuck!!” He slammed it again, shattering it into the sink. 

 

“Castiel!” Benny yelled, not caring who could hear anymore. “You need to chill the fuck out!”

 

Cas jumped off the counter and grabbed the paper towels to clean the mess. “Can’t even have a moment to my fucking self anymore, Benny?” Cleaning up aggressively led to a cut on his thumb, the dark crimson liquid dripping onto the counter and down his wrist. “Great.” 

 

“Cas you need to take a walk, go on now! I’ll clean this shit.” Benny slammed some more paper towels into Cas’ bleeding hand and shoved him out of the kitchen. Unwanted hands on his shoulders cut through the last of Cas’ resolve.

 

“Don’t fucking touch me!” He shouted, louder than necessary. 

 

“Then walk it the fuck off!”

 

Dean rounded the corner to the kitchen. “Hey! What the hell are you guys screamin’ about?”

 

Benny looked over at Dean, still angry, “Ask your boyfriend!” and stormed out of the room. 

 

Cas wasn’t ready to face Dean and attempted to flee out the front door, “Apparently, I need a walk!”

 

Dean stood there for a moment before following after Cas. “Hey, hey, angel, wait!” He caught up to him on the porch and reached out to take his hand.

 

Castiel saw red. At that moment, it wasn’t Dean grabbing him. It was every person in the entire fucking world that thought they could grab anyone without their consent. He pulled his hand away and rounded on Dean, shoving him backwards into the screen door. “Who the fuck said you could touch me whenever the fuck you want?!”

 

Dean barely caught his footing, but when he did he lifted his palms in surrender. Something like hurt flashed across his face, which only served to piss Cas off even more. Dean swallowed. "C'mon, Cas. It's me, okay? I won't touch you if you don't want me to, you know that. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have grabbed you. I just don't want you walking around outside, okay? Can you just come back inside? I'll talk to Benny, this was just a misunderstanding, right?"

 

“I have a better idea, i’ll go for a walk, and you can fuck off.” He said with nearly no emotion before turning and walking away, it wasn’t long before he was sprinting. He felt like he could finally breathe, even with the strain of running on his lungs.

 

Dean didn’t follow.

 

After running around Benny’s property like a damn psycho for over an hour, he finally felt calm enough to return home. He still felt on edge, unable to shake the raw feeling on his skin and the unwelcome prickle of needles on his hand and shoulder where he was touched.

 

Truth is, neither man did anything wrong, nor anything a normal person shouldn’t be able to do to another normal person. And yet, Cas still felt violated. As he approached the door, he convinced himself he wasn’t normal and things were just better this way. Why would Dean want to be with someone like him? Especially when there are perfectly normal people as options. The man not only had the face and build of a damn demigod, he was also the most amazing man Cas had ever had the pleasure to talk to, let alone fuck. So why did he want Cas?

 

He was essentially a child, unable to handle anything uncomfortable without “crying”. Cas literally just slammed his cup down because he was throwing a tantrum. It was better for Dean if Cas just backed off. In fact, it would be better for everyone if he was gone. Hell, maybe that was what he should do? Leave.

 

Leave this town and start fresh - again. Because it was easier to leave than be left and he was sure everyone here was sick and tired of his shit.

 

Cas entered the house, relieved to not see anyone downstairs and went straight to the shower, before going back to bed. His thumb hurt from the cut, but even worse, the cloud of depression weighing down on him took a physical toll. He slept for at least a day before Dean tried to talk to him again and when he woke that morning, his muscles ached.

 

“Hey Cas, got a minute?” He asked, in a small nervous tone. 

 

Cas sat up and pulled the comforter onto his lap, leaning against the bed frame. “Yeah, come in.”

 

Dean walked in and left the door cracked, probably for Cas’ sake but it really was unnecessary, Cas knew he was safe with Dean. He always knew that. Cas’ issues were his own, and he felt shitty he had put so much on Dean.

 

Dean sat on the edge of the bed, leaving plenty of distance between them and sighed. “Look, I’m not good at this stuff, we’ve been over that much but I think we need to talk? I don’t know man. But the quarantine is almost over and it would be kinda shitty if we didn’t at least… try to talk, right?” 

 

“I agree.” Cas didn’t mean to sound so short, but he still wasn’t ready. 

 

“Alright.” Dean waited expectantly and Cas struggled to meet his eyes. He felt ashamed of how he was acting but also didn’t know how to act any other way. It was like he was underwater, yelling at himself how to fix it but he couldn’t comprehend a solution. He must have taken too long, because when Dean spoke again, his tone was sharper. “Good talk, Cas.” He stood and began to pace.

 

“I don’t know what you want me to say.” Cas finally spoke, “I don’t know how to be what you need. You deserve more than I can give you.”

 

“What did I do, Cas?” He sounded almost desperate, the look in his beautiful jade eyes broke Cas’ heart. “I won’t grab your hand anymore, okay?” And he meant it, Cas could tell that Dean would do that for him, even if it hurt. He didn’t want this. Dean wanted to hold hands, and it was clear as day he was saying these things just for Cas.

 

Which was precisely the problem. Dean would give up all the little things he loved doing, just to appease Cas. That wasn’t fucking fair. 

 

“It isn’t about that, specifically.”

 

“Then tell me!” Again, apparent desperation was written all over his face. 

 

“I can’t!” Cas stood now, ignoring the tight muscles all down his back. “You shouldn’t have to work so hard. I can’t be fixed okay!”

 

“Great.” He shook his head, staring at Cas in disbelief. “Awesome.” Everything about him said nothing about this was great or awesome but this was how Dean coped. “And you just get to decide for me huh? This is Castiel’s world, and alllll the rest of us just live in it.” He stalked towards the door. “You’re a coward.” 

 

Cas flinched and let him go, climbing back into his bed and submitting to the tears that have been clawing their way to the surface for over a day. He completely let go, letting all the tension that has built over the years come pouring out of him. When he had a moment to think clearly, Cas grabbed his phone and put on some metal, hoping their screams would drown out his pathetic sobs into his pillow. 

 

What is the point anymore? Why even try to be happy? 

 

The following day, Castiel canceled his online lecture and used a sick day which made him feel even lower than before. He felt as though he was failing his students.  

 

Another day passed, and it was more of the same but Cas could slowly feel himself coming back. With the amount of sleeping he had done, he found himself wide awake around 3am and walked around the house, finally getting food for himself. Cole had brought him food every day, in fact at some point every one of them had checked on him by bringing water or some form or sustenance and he was truly appreciative of them. Fuck, he really needed to get a grip, if not for him, for the ones that gave a shit about him.

 

He sat on the porch until the sun rose, thinking about how to fix this shitstorm he had created and by the time he heard movement in the house, he had decided on his course. First, he would call his old therapist. Yeah, he had moved away since the last he saw him, but maybe he could give a reference of someone closer to Cas? It was worth a shot. Secondly, he would fix this with Dean. How? Well, he hadn’t gotten that far yet, but he had to try. Dean was the only one Cas could see himself getting over all of this bullshit with. Maybe he could never stand the touch of a stranger, but Dean wasn’t a stranger. He had only known him less than four weeks and yet he felt closer to him than anyone else in his life. He trusted him with everything, it was time to trust him with this. Thirdly, he would just be a better fucking roommate and friend. No one should walk on eggshells for him.

 

He made his way inside, nodding at Gad in the kitchen before going to bed. The sun was up, but he hadn’t slept that night and before he could start this new path, he needed some sleep.

 

——————

 

By the time he woke up, it was already evening and he instantly washed up and got on his laptop. He emailed his old therapist, then caught up on the news and when he saw the latest broadcast, it felt like a bucket of ice water was poured over his entire body. Tomorrow. Everything would be back to normal tomorrow. That means he just spent multiple days hiding and sulking in his room instead of spending these very last days with Dean. 

 

The quarantine was over. 

 

Checkpoints for the vaccine would be all over every town by 7am and everyone would be scheduled to return to their normal duties the following day. This was good news, so why did it make Cas feel nauseous?

 

The quarantine is over… which means… Dean and I are over. 

 

It took all of him not to cry again and instead, he got up and took a shower, standing under the near scalding water and burning all his regrets off and washing them down the drain. Cas finally felt clean and more importantly he began to crave Dean’s touch. The thought that he may never feel Dean’s calloused, strong hands on his skin again was more than he could bear. He needed this, he needed, Dean. Should I just leave it? He asked himself. Is this selfish?

 

No. The truth is, he couldn’t leave it and he owed it to both of them to at least face Dean before the end, even if it was just one last time.

Chapter Text

Dean’s mood was in the gutter. It’s not like he hadn’t known there would be bad days, but he didn’t realize how jarring it would be to have all physical contact cut off after they’d been joined at the everything for days. 

 

And then, for Cas to tell him to fuck off like this didn’t mean anything to him? He was sulking, even though he’d promised Cas he wouldn’t. He should have been prepared for this, of course they were going to have bad days… this was a learning curve. Dean had said that himself, so why was it so hard to believe that now? 

 

Because it didn’t feel like a curve. It felt like they’d climbed to the top of the highest mountain in the world and then Cas had pushed Dean right off of it. It wasn’t a curve at all, it was a sudden and complete drop. Did Cas change his mind? Did Dean have the courage to ask? Probably not. 

 

They’d officially reached the last day of quarantine. According to the governor, the worst of it was behind them and it was safe to go back to their normal lives, provided everyone got the vaccine first. It wouldn’t be available in their town until the following morning, so… one more night. He was excited about it but was also dreading it with everything he was. In less than 24 hours, he’d be free, but he’d also likely never see Cas again. 

 

He hoped he was overreacting, but something deep inside of him told him to prepare for the worst... just in case. Maybe it was the apocalypse mentality they’d all taken on over the last month, or maybe it was just his own insecurities. Either way, as he laid on that pull-out bed for the last time, he was too nervous about what was going to happen to feign any sort of optimism. 

 

Someone knocked on his door and Dean quietly told them to come in. He sat up, expecting Benny or maybe even Cole, but it was Cas. 

 

“Hey. Couldn’t sleep?” 

 

Cas shook his head and gently closed the door behind him. “I wanted to apologize to you about the last couple of days. I realize that it hasn’t been fair to you.” 

 

“Angel, you don’t need to apologize. Seriously. It’s not like I didn’t know there’d be bad days, I just kinda wish they wouldn’t have been right at the end.”

“Is that what this is, Dean?” Cas climbed onto the bed and crossed his legs, looking at him with a sad but curious expression. “Is this the end?” 

 

Dean didn’t have an answer. He wanted to scream ‘no!’ and throw things until everyone in the world understood how much he needed Cas. But he didn’t do that. “I dunno, angel. I don’t know what the world is gonna look like when we step outside tomorrow.” 

 

That was the most honest answer he could give. He felt like it was the end, felt like this was goodbye… but he hoped he was wrong. And, the state of the actual world was a concern on his mind as well. You can’t just quarantine 7 billion people and expect things to pick up exactly as they had been, so what was different about this? He knew, to the depths of his being, that life as he knew it was over. 

 

“Then let’s make the most of it, shall we?” Cas reached over and ghosted his fingertips over Dean’s bare arm, sending shivers all over his body. “I want you to touch me, Dean. I… I need you to touch me.” 

 

Cas’ words had become so quiet and laced with real, broken desperation that nothing on Earth could have stopped Dean from giving him what he was asking for, no matter what damage he’d be doing to his own heart in the process. If he could only be there for his angel one more time, he was going to make damn sure that he did the absolute best that he could for him. 

 

He started slow, his fingers dancing over Cas’ kneecap. He felt a hair catch on the corner of one of his nails and then rubbed the spot gently with his thumb in case it was ripped out. He whispered, “Lay back, angel. Let me take care of you, okay?” 

 

The ratty old AC/DC t-shirt disappeared from Cas’ body before he laid down, and Dean’s hands made their way up to the hemline of his boxers. He toyed with the fabric, his knuckles making light contact with the thigh underneath. “May I take these off, too?” 

 

He wasn’t sure just how far Cas’ permission to touch him went, but from the way Cas’ breath hitched and his agreement came out more like a plea, Dean understood that there was no limit this time. Cas needed to be touched by someone he trusted after days of his own body betraying him. And he’d chosen Dean. Once again, Dean felt the immensity of that honor. 

 

With careful movements, he slid Cas’ boxers down and planted a delicate kiss to Cas’ hipbone where the elastic had created little grooves in his skin. He stayed there, coaxing the calloused expanse of his hand down Cas’ thick thigh and guiding his leg to wrap around him. 

 

“Dean, I…”

 

“Shh, angel.” The tip of Dean’s nose glided along the sharp line of Cas’ pelvis. “We’ll get there, okay? I promise. I need this, too.” 

 

Cas answered with a sharp intake of breath and a smooth hand carded in his hair. “I trust you, Dean.” 

 

Unable to escape the fear that he’d never again get to have something so beautiful below him, Dean’s movements became almost like worship. The pad of his thumb traced soothing circles over Cas’ side as his taste buds jumped at the faint hint of mango and sugar on his skin. He wasn’t sure how he didn’t notice it last time, but he found himself becoming a huge supporter of something vegan for the first time in his life. His tongue roved over the gorgeous lines of Cas’ body, his teeth nipping gently at the slightly looser flesh right around his navel. 

 

Cas was taking shallow, haggard breaths and Dean leaned up to kiss his lips, his voice nearly inaudible as he asked, “Too much?” 

 

He was kissed fiercely then, like Cas was certain that words would never be enough. Perfect, strong hands wound their way under Dean’s t-shirt and he shuddered at the feel of them. He wanted to take this slow, but the ache inside of him to have Cas fully was almost too much for him to bear. Dean pulled back from the kiss and kneeled up, crossing his arms by his waist to unhurriedly ease the piece of clothing over his head. 

 

“You’re beautiful, Dean. I’ve never seen anything like it.” 

 

Dean’s chest flushed in response, causing each and every freckle on his body to stand out in stark contrast. Cas’ fingers played connect-the-dots over them and Dean couldn’t do anything but watch. As incredible as he found touching Cas, feeling Cas’ hands on him was almost even better. He searched his mind for something to say back, but what do you say during what is very possibly goodbye sex? Thanks for being fucking everything I’ve ever wanted and then probably leaving me like I’m entirely as forgettable as I think I am? He was overwhelmed by that thought and the last thing Dean Winchester would ever do is cry in front of another dude, much less when he was about to be inside of him. 

 

He ran his hand over Cas’ leg and leaned forward again, continuing his quest to kiss and touch and adore every inch of Cas’ being. The hollow of his throat, the dip of his shoulder, the tiny little nub of his nipple. It was endless, and once he made his way down the lengths of his beautifully toned runner’s legs, Dean tenderly rolled him over. “Thank you, Castiel,” he whispered as he bent down to brush his lips over his spine. “Thank you for giving me this.” 

 

Cas was shaking underneath him, but Dean instinctively knew it wasn’t because he wanted him to stop. Cas would tell him if that was the case, and he’d listen instantaneously. His palms glanced over both of Cas’ triceps and slid down the toned muscles of his back until he was cupping and squeezing his incredible ass. Cas turned his head, a quiet whine filling Dean’s ears. “Why?” 

 

Dean peppered kisses over his shoulders, speaking only when he managed to drag his lips away. “I told you, touching you is a privilege I will never take lightly.” He pulled away enough to allow Cas to maneuver onto his back again. They locked eyes, and Dean swore he could see the entire expanse of the universe in Cas’. Whatever was happening, it wasn’t just sex. It wasn’t even limited to this plane. 

 

Cas blinked. “While I appreciate that, I wasn’t asking you why you were treating my body like your own personal buffet. I was asking why you were still wearing pants.”

 

A smile threatened to crack Dean’s face right in half and he let out a nervous, relieved laugh. This was still Cas, in all his sassy glory. “Fuck. I don’t know.” He kicked his sweats and boxers off in a hurry, helped along by eager hands. “Better?” 

 

Cas pulled him back down and gripped his hips, rutting up against him and sighing in relief. Dean moaned as he dropped his forehead to the crook of Cas’ neck; he’d been so lost in his attempt to map out Cas’ curves and jagged edges that he hadn’t even noticed he was rock fucking hard. The head of Cas’ cock slid up and down his shaft and it nearly punched the breath from his lungs. There was something so unbelievably erotic about it that if he wasn’t so sure he’d never get another chance, he’d have been content with the frottage tipping him over the edge. Even still, the bolts of pleasure coursing through him each time the glans of Cas’ cock brushed against his frenulum made it a tough call. 

 

He jerked his hips up, biting softly under Cas’ ear. “Patience, baby. Let me at least get the lube first.” Cas growled his disapproval at the sudden lack of contact but allowed him to move. He was glad the small bottle was still by the sofa-bed from last time, because his hands were starting to tremble from how badly he wanted what was to come. 

 

Dean stretched Cas open with every ounce of reverence that he’d shown him before, moving his fingers inside of him slowly and kissing away every gasp and impatient groan he drew from his angel. “Shh, we don’t want the others to know what we’re doing, we’ve got the only bottle of lube, remember?” He kissed the bridge of Cas’ nose as he inserted another finger, and it occurred to him that it didn’t matter if someone else took the bottle, because this was their last night together anyway. 

 

If Cas picked up on that, he didn’t say it. He squirmed under Dean, greedily trying to take his fingers in deeper. He whispered, “If you don’t fuck me soon, we might as well give the lube to someone else - I won’t need it because I’ll be dead.” 

 

He stifled his laugh by clamping his teeth on Cas’ chest. “Dramatic, much?” But the truth was that Dean felt the same. It was a tangible thing, his need for Cas. It sat in his core like a neutron star, dense and powerful and bright, the remnants of a fucking supernova. 

 

Cas pushed Dean back until his fingers slid out, and sat up to take matters into his own hands. Dean rested his weight on his spread calves as Cas impatiently slicked his palm and stroked Dean’s cock. 

 

Dean bit his lip as he watched the intense expression on Cas’ face. He knew the sight between his legs was probably phenomenal - Cas had some of the best hands he’d ever seen - but the raw, unfiltered passion on his face was holding every ounce of his attention. 

 

When Cas’ thumb pressed into his slit, Dean snapped out of it and moaned a little too loudly. 

 

“Damnit, Dean, weren’t you the one that said to be quiet?” Cas’ free hand gripped the back of his neck and pulled him in, kissing him and falling backward until Dean’s cock slipped free and he had to brace himself to stop from crushing Cas. 

 

He shifted his weight as Cas wrapped his legs around him, bringing his hand down to line himself up and carefully nudging in. 

 

Cas’ breathing sped up and Dean kissed him sweetly until he felt Cas’ heels prodding against his ass to urge him in deeper. “Need you, Dean.” 

 

God damnit, how Dean wished with everything in him that Castiel actually meant that. He drove himself in all the way, stopping only when he felt Cas tense around him and nails rake down his back. His shoulders bunched from the abrasions but he loved it, it sent a shiver down his spine and his cock throbbed in agreement. 

 

For the first time, the last thing on Dean’s mind was getting off. He wanted to savor every second of being inside of Cas, so his thrusts were measured and patient. Dean fought against Cas’ insistent legs, forcing himself to keep his steady rhythm. 

 

“Dean!” Cas said kind of loudly, and Dean shushed him again as he bit his earlobe. 

 

He spread his legs and brought one hand down to lift Cas’ hip up, changing his angle enough that his cock bumped against his prostate. Cas moaned, a sound so low and sinful that Dean felt the effects through his entire body. He whined against Cas’ neck, the hand keeping him upright fisting so tightly in the sheets above their heads he thought for sure he’d rip them. The muscles in his lower back flexed as he worked to keep hitting that same spot, switching from a back-and-forth motion to rolling his hips until Cas was grunting and panting below him. 

 

Dean felt Cas’ hand glide between their bodies to grasp his own cock, and then Cas’ fist was tapping against his stomach. Cas being turned on enough by having Dean inside of him to touch himself did things to Dean that it shouldn’t - he was aware this was a perfectly normal thing, but being the reason Cas was doing it sent heated pleasure racing through his veins. 

 

He could feel his orgasm looming, but the quiet pleas and whimpers coming from Cas were so intoxicating that he couldn’t bring himself to stop. Dean could feel Cas’ pace quickening rapidly, and his own sped up in response. 

 

Dean kissed the lines of Cas’ jaw, the nape of his neck, the soft spot behind his ear - anywhere and everywhere he could reach as his lips desperately tried to memorize the way he tasted before it was too late and he was out of time. He was nearly flattened out on Cas now, their chests pressed together so closely that Cas barely had room to move. 

 

“Fuck, I’m close, Dean, I -” Cas cut himself off with a sharp intake of breath which gave way to another guttural moan and Dean covered Cas’ mouth with a broad hand. 

 

He thrusted harder but paused in between, letting the full effect wash over them both. “C’mon, baby,” Dean urged with a whisper against the side of his neck. “Come for me, Cas. You’re so fucking beautiful when you come, get so tight around my -”

 

Cas whimpered into Dean’s hand and came with a muffled, near silent whine. Dean could feel the warm release on his own skin and he couldn’t hold his own back anymore. He buried his face in Cas’ neck, the scent of mangos that would haunt him for the rest of his life filling his nose as he emptied into his angel with a suppressed sob. 

 

Traitorous tears pooled in his eyes and he stayed right where he was, safe in Cas’ arms with his face out of sight until he was able to blink them back. 

 

Their chests were heaving and it was difficult to tell whose sweat was whose. He was keenly aware of the back of Cas’ palm as it dragged through the mess on his belly in favor of splaying out on the mattress beside him. Dean pulled back half-heartedly until his softening cock left the most gorgeous body he’d ever seen. 

 

He cleared his throat and rolled to a sitting position on the edge of the bed, rifling through the pile of laundry he’d left on the floor until he found a dirty t-shirt to clean up the messes they made. It was a silent exchange, the air thick and unwelcoming between them and Dean laid back down a few inches from Cas. 

 

Dean’s fingers twitched with a renewed desire to touch him, but he knew better. Despite the nights they’d spent entwined together as they slept, he had a feeling those days were over and his free pass had expired. Sure enough, Cas moved onto his side facing away from Dean and pulled the blanket up over him tightly enough that Dean recognized the dismissal. He wasn’t sure why Cas bothered to stay at all when he had his own bed, but maybe, like Dean, he wasn’t quite ready to let go yet. 

 

But if that was the case, why were they letting go at all? 

 

He cuddled as close as possible to Cas without making physical contact and spoke as clearly as he dared. “I still want this, Castiel.” 

 

He received no answer. 

 

--------------------

 

When Dean woke up the following morning, Cas’ arm was draped over his stomach and a little puddle of drool was forming on his chest. Dean cracked a smile as he looked down, not upset in the slightest. Maybe Cas had heard him, and everything was going to be fine. 

 

He settled back down, absolutely unwilling to move now that he had that tiny spark of hope. He fell asleep again quickly, much easier than he had the night before. When he opened his eyes again though, Cas was gone. 

 

His hand absentmindedly reached for the spot where Cas’ head had been and felt nothing but dry skin, which made him frown. How long had he been out? He got up and dressed in a hurry, hastily packing the rest of his things and returning the pull-out bed to its original state. He gave the room a cursory glance and after confirming he had all of his belongings and he was leaving Cas’ office more or less in the state that he found it, he slung his bag over his shoulder and made his way downstairs. 

 

The quarantine had been lifted - he could finally go home. 

 

The atmosphere in the kitchen was light and joyous as he entered the room, which was a much needed change after the last several days. “Morning, assholes! Party’s over, huh?” Dean grinned and swiped a piece of bacon from the plate. 

 

Benny nodded. “Sure is, brotha. Time for you to get the hell outta dodge.” His tone gave away the playfulness of his words, and Dean lightly punched him in the shoulder. 

 

“Fuck off, bitch. I was thinkin’ maybe I’d just move in. I kinda like that I feel about 100 years older every morning from that dumbass excuse for a bed.”

 

Cole cut in. “No offense, Deano, but you’ve worn out your welcome with random precision.” 

 

“Hey!” Dean pointed at him from across the room. “Don’t you use Pink Floyd to insult me like that, I’ll glue Balt’s guitar to my body and play the entirety of Piper at the Gates of Dawn until your damn ears bleed.” 

 

Cole shuddered. “Syd Barrett would crawl out of his grave just to sue you for defamation.” 

 

He shook his head with a laugh and clapped Benny on the shoulder. “In all seriousness, thank you, man. You really did me a solid here, and I hope it’s not another two years before we see each other again.” 

 

“No problem, cher. And let’s also hope it’s not another damn apocalypse that brings us together.” Benny reached over to mess with Dean’s hair but he ducked, letting out a triumphant hah! as he scooped his bag up from the floor and made his way over to the door. “Tell Gad and Balt I said ‘see ya,’ alright?” 

 

They mumbled their agreement and Dean’s eyes swept the house for Cas. He didn’t see him, and assumed he was probably hiding in his room to avoid the awkward goodbye. He looked up toward the ceiling and said quietly, “So glad to meet you, Angeles.” He licked his lips and let out a steadying breath through his nose, then walked out the door. 

 

He closed his eyes, savoring that first moment of freedom. He sucked in the fresh air greedily, and he heard a low chuckle to his left. He glanced over and a smile broke out on his face when he saw Cas lazily swinging. Dean clicked his tongue. “Come out here for a more private goodbye?”

 

“Goodbye? I thought you said you still wanted this?” 

 

Cas had heard him last night, then. He nodded once, adjusting the strap of his bag that was digging into his shoulder. “Yeah, I do.” 

 

“Hm,” Cas hummed with a stoic expression as he stopped the swing’s momentum and stood up, walking toward him. “Then I only have one question for you, Dean.” 

 

Apprehension spiked through Dean’s body as Cas stopped right in front of him, pinning him to the spot with those electric blue eyes. “Shoot.” 

 

A smile spread across Cas’ face and he tilted his head in that adorable way that had Dean’s stomach doing flips. “Are you picking me up at seven, or at eight?”

Chapter Text

The fact that Dean showed up ten minutes late had Cas standing on the porch with his arms crossed. They chose seven o’ clock on Friday - Dean needed to go into his old job and see if there was work - and waiting to see each other was hard. Our first date and he’s late. He shook his head as the Impala pulled up the driveway.

 

“I can explain.” Dean hopping out of his gorgeous pristine muscle car, looking fifty shades of delicious didn’t help at all. 

 

“Oh, can you?” Cas was already losing the battle as he bit back a smile. Beautiful fucker.

 

“Yes.” Dean took the porch steps gracefully and held out his arms, a silent gesture that spoke volumes. Cas nodded and Dean pulled him into a hug, thankful that even after everything, Dean still respected his space. “I fell asleep.”

 

Cas scoffed and shoved him off, a full smile on his face. “That’s your explanation?? Assbutt.”

 

“Assbutt? Fuck, even annoyed you’re adorable.” Dean cupped his chin. “May I kiss you?”

 

“Hmmm....” 

 

“You’re an ass.” Dean bit his bottom lip and shook his head, making Cas easily cave and press his lips to Dean’s. The kiss started slow but the flame grew quickly, their tongues dancing together as their hands roamed each other’s bodies. 

 

The quarantine ended two days ago, meaning Cas went two entire days without feeling Dean’s touch and he needed it like he needed air. He somehow ended up backed against the screen door with Dean’s firm hands gripping his ass. They weren’t going to make it on this damn date, Cas needed to feel Dean inside of him. Needed to feel every inch of the beautiful man before him.

 

But as always, Dean’s strong will prevailed and he pulled away breathlessly. “Shit, Cas.” He rested their foreheads together. “Want you so bad.”

 

Cas felt the same, but being able to breathe had his mind more steady, “Want you too, Dean.” He pushed Dean back slightly, “But we have to wait. If we’re going to try a real relationship, we should do “date stuff” too and not just sex, right? Or is my research incorrect? This is uncharted territory for me.”

 

Dean laughed out loud and backed up even more, “Okay one, your air quotes will never not kill me. And two, our relationship will be whatever we want it to be. There is no research for this, Cas. You are right though, I want to fuck you all day, but I also really want to take you to a nice restaurant and show you off a little.” He interlocked their fingers, “Above anything, I really, really just want to hold your damn hand.” 

 

And there it was. Cas knew Dean needed this. He knew it, even when Dean said he didn’t need it, but for some reason, it didn’t make Cas cringe, not this time. He gave Dean’s hand a squeeze and smiled warmly, “I’d like to hold your hand too, Dean.”

 

——————

 

Dinner was awkward for about three minutes before they relaxed and kicked up a conversation. Soon they were laughing and arguing over classic rock. 

 

It started with simple opinion questions like, “Van Halen or Van Hagar?" - the answer is absolutely fucking Van Halen. “Clapton in Cream, solo, or Derek and the Dominoes?" Again, they both agreed - Dominoes if they were just talking about Slowhand, Cream if they were going by best overall lineup. “Best band to come out of the 60's?" Cas responded with, “I'm tempted to say the Doors, although Zeppelin did officially make their debut in the 60's.” Dean had a hard time arguing with logic that flawless.

 

What started the real argument was, “Who was the better Black Sabbath frontman?" Castiel attempted to defend Ronnie James Dio but was hastily cut off with Dean pretending as though he was leaving the restaurant. “Ozzy is the ONLY true frontman, Cas! I thought you had ears!” 

 

By dessert, Dean had turned it into a full on challenge, “Original singer of the song Hurt?" 

 

Cas laughed. “The answer is Nine Inch Nails. Don’t quiz me, you will not win this.” 

 

Dean clicked his tongue, “Bring it, angel eyes.”

 

It continued all the way home, they even parked in the driveway and sat arguing over the validity of the Zeppelin Curse for an hour and concluded the classic rock dispute with a horrible rendition of Stairway to Heaven.  

 

“You’re incredibly adorable when you argue, Dean.” Cas scooted closer, “It’s going to make our life together quite difficult for me.”

 

“Oh yeah?” Dean grinned, his arms naturally wrapping around Cas’ midsection and pulling him in. “Are we starting a life together, Cas?” Castiel straddled Dean’s lap and they slid to the middle of the seat so the steering wheel wasn’t digging into Cas’ back.

 

He didn’t respond with words, but he gripped Dean’s hands and slid them down the back of his pants and pressed their lips together. Although they were playfully arguing all night, there was still a tension settled around them, making them both instantly deepen the kiss and groan into each other’s mouths. 

 

Cas could feel Dean’s cock swelling against his own and rutted down. He wanted it inside him fucking yesterday. “Take off your pants. I know you have lube in here.”

 

“How’d you know?” Dean asked, reaching around to the glovebox. 

 

“Because, something tells me you knew as much about commitment as I knew about monogamy before we decided to figure it all out together. Am I wrong?” Cas tilted his head at Dean and turned to look at what was in Dean’s compartment. “Multiple boxes of condoms and a half bottle of lube, what do you know?” He grinned as though he won another argument. 

 

“Can it, Novak. Let’s see how cocky you are while you’re begging to come.” Dean’s tone changed as he spoke and Cas felt a chill down his spine.

 

“I won’t beg.” Yes I will. Even he knew that was a lie, such a horrible lie, that Dean didn’t even respond with words and began to unbuckle Cas’ jeans.

 

Not even thirty minutes later, Dean was calling Cas’ bluff, “What’s that angel?” He was buried deep inside of Cas with his calloused hand wrapped around the base of Cas’ cock. “You have something to ask?”

 

“Fuck…” Cas groaned, could he really be this close to begging already? “Please…”

 

“Please what, baby?” Dean stroked Cas’ leaking cock twice and stopped at the base again, “What do you need?” 

 

“Fucking come!” Cas grunted, before releasing a manly whimper. “Asshole.” 

 

Dean must have felt mercy, because he grinned and began stroking Cas again, “Ride me until you come all over my chest.” He stroked in sync with Cas’ movements. 

 

Dean’s jeans were at his ankles and he still had his shoes on but he was otherwise naked. Cas on the other hand was completely naked from the waist down, but still had on his blue sweater vest - as per Dean’s request - and he knew it was driving Dean crazy. Dean was writhing below him and his dirty talk was at its peak but all it took was one, “Ride me Professor Novak,” for him to come hard and deep inside his angel. Cas didn’t know what was hotter, the fact that Dean pushed himself over the edge with his own dirty talk or Dean’s beautiful fucked out expression. The combination had Cas moaning Dean’s name as he slammed down on his cock and emptied all over Dean’s torso. 

 

They silently caught their breath a moment before Cas kissed his way to Dean’s mouth. “Mmm professor kink, huh, baby?” 

 

“Shut up.” Dean blushed, but couldn’t deny it. 

 

“Is that how you speak to your professor?” Cas challenged, raising an eyebrow. “I want to see you in my office on campus next Monday morning, 9am sharp. Got it?”

 

Dean’s blush reddened but the excitement in his eyes was undeniable. “Uh yeah, yes, Sir.” 

 

“Good boy.” 

 

---------------

 

It only took a week of dating Dean to finally understand the concept of monogamy. Dean didn’t pressure him or demand Cas distance himself from the other men he used to fuck, but Cas simply wanted Dean... and only Dean. Balt had gone home the day the quarantine ended, but the others were thinking of a session that coming weekend. Cas felt it was time for another house meeting, as he had decided he would no longer participate in orgies. 

 

“As you all know, I use intercourse as a surrogate for physical touch. I start therapy next week and Dean and I are still figuring a lot out. I’ve decided it would be best if I refrain from certain sexual activities, especially in a group.”

 

“I’m going to assume you don’t mean sex with Dean?” Cole asked with a smile.

 

“Of course not, I’m not practicing abstinence.” He rolled his eyes. “Nor am I crazy.” 

 

Cole and Gad pouted but were understanding and Benny looked straight up proud. 

 

“Never thought I’d see the day, brotha. For either of you, matter fact.” He shook his head with a smile. “I’m happy for you both.” 

 

“Um, thanks. You’re going to hug me, aren’t you?” Cas’ body tightened and he looked at his three roommates.

 

“Not if you don’t say we can.” Gad said warmly but Cas could tell they all really wanted to.

 

“Ugh, fine.” Cas opened his arms and all three of them hugged him at once. He was stiff, but he could feel the love and it made him wonder, maybe that was why he could handle Dean’s touch… love.

 

But these fuckers weren’t Dean, “Kay, let’s do… anything else.” Cas grunted. 

 

“Anything?” Gad wiggled his eyebrows. 

 

“Okay not anything, just let me go.” He knew they were pushing it a little but they didn’t mean any harm and when they all finally let go and moved back, Cas removed the bitch face he naturally had and forced a smile. “T-thank you.”

 

Benny slapped his shoulder and the bitch face instantly returned, making all three of them laugh. “Was that the line?” He asked playfully.

 

“Yes.” 

 

“Sorry man, I’m just proud of you Cas.” Benny was always annoyingly genuine in moments like this.

 

“How proud? Like, good job here is a store bought cookie proud? Or, let me pull out the steaks and grill tonight proud? Because I’m hoping for the latter,” Cas joked, letting them know everything was okay even after the touching. 

 

“I think this calls for steaks, tell Dean to come on over, he can bring whoever, we definitely have enough meat.” All three laughed at the innuendo and Cas made his way to his cell phone.

 

He didn’t tell Dean he had planned on giving monogamy a chance yet, but he felt this was as good a time as any. The butterflies he felt while the phone rang had to have been practicing for the Olympics with the amount of somersaults they were doing. 

 

Dean answered right as Cas was about to hang up. “Hey, angel. I was just thinkin’ about you.”

 

He smiled, the butterflies instantly vanishing at the comforting sound of Dean’s voice. “I know, I can read your mind,” he joked, then took a deep breath, “Can you come over for dinner? Benny is starting the grill and there is something I want to tell you, but I think it should be face to face.”

 

There was a moment of awkward silence and when Dean spoke, he sounded a little nervous. “Uh, sure Cas. Everything okay?”

 

“Yes. I was originally going to tell you on the phone but it seems like a conversation of this sort is better when you can look in the eyes of your partner. Charlie is invited, although I would prefer this conversation be held in private.”

 

Dean cleared his throat. “She’s uh... busy, I think, but I’ll be there.”

 

“Okay, see you soon.” Cas hung up, still nervous but feeling lighter already at the thought of seeing Dean.

 

And then he had a moment of panic. What if Dean doesn’t want monogamy?? What if he liked things simple with no strings attached and he was about to laugh in Cas’ face? He took a shower and then went downstairs to wait on the couch for Dean, watching Cole and Gad have a debate about Spiderman before he heard a familiar engine revving in the driveway. 

 

Cas looked out the front window to see the Impala pulling in, and entirely too soon, he was opening the door to let Dean. 

 

“Hey. Smells good, Benny cookin’ steaks?”

 

“Yes. I didn’t give him a choice really, can we sit on the porch?” Cas realized how nice of an evening it was and thought the fresh air would help his nerves.

 

Dean nodded and stepped over to the swing, sitting down and wiping his palms nervously on his jeans. “Look, Cas, if you’re thinkin’ about dumpin’ me, just... don’t. Okay? Whatever’s wrong, we can work through it.”

 

Cas laughed and grabbed Dean’s hand. “Wait you’re nervous?” He shook his head, Dean was so damn adorable. “No I am not dumping you, Dean. Do I look like an insane person today or something?” Cas brought his hand up to kiss it. “Although, I am starting therapy next week, so maybe I am a little crazy.”

 

The smile that spread across Dean’s face was slow but genuine. “Jesus, Cas. You scared the shit outta me, I thought you got a few days away from me and realized I’m more trouble than I’m worth or somethin’.” He squeezed Cas’ hand gently and looked down at them intertwined. “Therapy, huh? That’s great, angel. I’m proud of you.”

 

“Thanks. But that wasn’t what I really wanted to say in person.” He considered saying it all at once, but Dean squirming was just too cute.

 

“It’s not?” Dean shifted so he was sitting a little closer. “C’mon, Cas. Don’t leave me hangin’ here, I’m dyin’.”

 

He grinned again, “Okay... how do you feel about monogamy?”

 

Dean looked like he thought he was being caught in a trap. “Uh... fuck, is this some kind of a quiz, where if I answer wrong you’re gonna dump me anyway?”

 

“I’m not dumping you. Unless you want me to?” He took a deep breath. “I would like to try it, but if you don’t, I absolutely respect that. I was just thinking about how I only want you now, no one else even sounds... “appetizing” anymore and I think I finally understand it. Unless I read this all wrong? In which case, there is an orgy taking place this weekend that I just told the others I won’t be participating in.” Cas was rambling, he should shut up now.

 

“What? Fuck, of course I do! Are you kidding me? God, yes. You’re tellin’ me I can actually have you to myself?” Dean didn’t wait for a response before kissing him like he’d just won the lottery.

 

The kiss - though it caught him off guard - was welcome and Cas attempted to straddle Dean’s lap on the swing but as it turned out, the swing wasn’t meant for that much weight on one side… Benny didn’t shut up until they promised they would replace it.

Chapter Text

Dean blushed at his phone and cleared his throat loudly enough that Charlie looked over at him. “Okay, spill. Is that Cas? Why are you blushing? What’d he say? Did he send you a dick pic?” 

 

He shook his lead, biting his bottom lip as he re-read the words. “No, uh… not exactly.” Charlie kept staring at him with wide, impatient eyes, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to say it. “I just gotta get up a little earlier tomorrow, alright? That’s all.” 

 

“Doesn’t he teach a class in the mo-” she cut herself off as realization dawned. “He wants you to come see him at the university.” 

 

Nodding, Dean shifted on the couch. “Yeah, his exact words were that he wanted me to bring him breakfast tomorrow.”

 

Charlie rolled her eyes and slumped back in her seat. “That’s a lot more boring than I thought it was gonna be.” 

 

“And then followed it up with ‘food won’t be necessary.’” 

 

A grin broke out across his roommate’s face. “You’re gonna be late to work if you go.” 

 

Dean contemplated that. It was true, Cas’ free period didn’t start until 9am and Dean was supposed to be at work then. He could call Bobby, tell him he was gonna be late… or he could fake a flat tire, but when you’re a mechanic… that excuse doesn’t really fly. His face fell as he realized it wasn’t a good idea, but just when he went to text Castiel back and break the bad news… another text showed up. 

 

No, not a text. A picture. 

 

A picture of a bright blue tie… and a matching fucking pair of panties. 

 

Actual words followed, not that Dean needed a single drop of extra motivation. 

 

C: Have you ever been fucked by a guy in a g-string before, Dean?

 

He dropped his phone, which only allowed Charlie the opportunity to rocket herself off the chair and swipe it from the ground. She read the words, her jaw dropping in open amusement. “I don’t think ‘breakfast’ means what I thought it meant. Are you gonna do it? Have you ever bottomed before? Has he ever asked?” 

 

Dean snatched his phone back and locked it quickly, and his face absolutely on fire as he mumbled, “Jesus, Charles, enough with the twenty questions.” 

 

“Text. Him. Back!” 

 

He grimaced, but unlocked his phone as he stood up to go into his bedroom. This shit was awkward enough for Dean without having his roommate breathing down his neck. His thumbs hovered over the keys as he tried desperately to think of something hot to say back, or really anything to say back other than ‘nope, can’t say that I have.’ 

 

D: Nope, can’t say that I have. 

 

Dean mentally cursed himself for it, but hey. It was completely and utterly the truth. He’d bottomed before, but it had been a while and never to someone as… good at it as Cas. They’d talked about it a couple of times, and Dean had told Cas he was up for it if the circumstances were right.

 

Thinking about getting bent over Cas’ desk and fucked silly until he was coming all over some poor dude’s homework assignment turned Dean on so fast that yeah, this was absolutely the right circumstance. Belatedly, he realized he could’ve said something cheeky like ‘Nah, I was never that good in school.’ 

 

Hindsight is 20/20, y’know. 

 

Cas didn’t text back for a full hour, so by the time he did, Dean had nearly put it out of his mind. It was just Cas being Cas, texting to make sure Dean was still okay with the idea after having some time to think it over. Dean had to put a lot of effort into not sending back about a hundred thumbs up emojis, but that time he actually succeeded. They talked about how it would go - which Dean found to be a little bit of a turn-off, he’d wanted to be surprised - and once it seemed like every single fucking detail was worked out, Dean finally texted Bobby and told him he was gonna be a couple hours late the next day. 

 

The following morning, Dean was up at the asscrack of dawn scrubbing himself clean all over. He shaved, fixed his hair, and cursed so loudly as he tried to find a suitable outfit that he woke Charlie up. She came into his room, her fiery hair looking like she’d stuck her finger in a socket and her eyes were still mostly closed. 

 

“Uhm… D? Did that t-shirt wreck your car or something?” 

 

“No, I just can’t find a damn outfit.” 

 

Charlie gave him a when did you become such a chick look and walked over, picking a plain white t-shirt out of his drawer and tossing it to him. “Looks good with your complexion and it’ll hide the stains on your walk of not-shame. You’re overthinking too much, I’m pretty sure the point of this is to get you out of your clothes, not critique your fashion choices.” She turned to walk out but stopped, pivoting slightly to point toward the pile on his bed. “Go with the bootcut jeans, and don’t skimp out on the boxers trying to be sexy. You’ll thank me later. Good luck, bitch. I expect a full skin-mag worthy summary when you’re done.” She turned and left, leaving Dean standing there wondering why the hell any of that made a difference. 

 

He got dressed quickly, taking Charlie’s advice and then drove over to the college. Parking was a bitch, and he had no idea how the hell he was supposed to find Baby again when he was done. His nerves were a mess as he navigated the step-by-step directions Cas had texted to him. It wasn’t even fear, it was just… having sex with Cas on a normal basis was intimidating. Dean felt this constant need to be good, hell, better than everyone else. It wasn’t that hard when he was topping, he knew exactly how to make Cas squirm and beg and come like he was fucking born to do it, but this was uncharted territory. Getting topped by the best bottom he’d ever met was… again, it was intimidating. He didn’t have any other words. 

 

When he finally arrived at Cas’ classroom, he took a minute to look around the hallway and admire the C. Novak placard on the door. He grinned to himself, because as long as he didn’t completely fuck things up the way he always did… Cas was his. C. Novak was his. Professor C. Novak was his. 

 

Fuck, he was going to end up wasting all of his time admiring a little brass plate. He pushed open the door slowly, getting his first glimpse of Cas’ classroom. It looked pretty much like he’d expected it to… a large projector-looking screen behind a large, thick oak desk… damnit. Not even six seconds in the door and he was already chubbing up in his jeans. 

 

He didn’t see Cas anywhere. He called out for him but got no response, and so he sat down in the first row. This wouldn’t be the first time Cas offered sex and then made him fucking wait for it, and he shoulda known this wasn’t going to be different. 

 

The longer he stared at that desk, picturing Cas with his sweater vest and his fucking panties that no one else knew about, the harder he got. Dean got lost in his own head, wondering what would have happened if he’d been a student of Cas’, sitting right in the very seat he was at that moment. He’d have shamelessly flirted, he’d actually have been a deliberately terrible student. Anything for a chance to get held after class, Cas raising that single eyebrow and telling him he’s been a bad, bad boy… bending him over the desk and spanking his ass raw... 

 

Dean was white-knuckling the desk with both hands, trying desperately to ground himself as his cock began to strain against his jeans. Fuck, fuck… he’s not even here yet. Get a grip, Winchester. Yeah, apparently he was putting a big fat fucking ‘yes’ in the Professor kink column. 

 

A warm, firm hand clasped on to Dean’s shoulder and startled him bad enough that he jerked and his knee smacked the underside of the desk. “Ow, shit!” 

 

Cas chuckled from behind him, circling around and looking at Dean like a predator that just caught its prey doing something incredibly fucking stupid. “What were you thinking about, Dean?” 

 

He swallowed hard and shook his head as he slid out of his seat and leaned in to kiss Cas, pulling back at the last second with another muttered, “shit.” 

 

“It’s okay, Dean. I locked the door and closed the blind on the window. You may touch me.” 

 

Dean’s hands were on Cas in an instant. Cas let out another dark, low chuckle as he felt Dean’s length pressing into his waist. 

 

“Eager, are we?” 

 

All he could do was nod fervently before his lips finally met Cas’. Any last semblance of delusion that told him he’d be in control here was gone the second Cas kissed him back. He didn’t care. Cas could do whatever the hell he wanted to Dean in that moment, and Dean would fucking thank him for his service and cook dinner for him later. He was gone, so, so gone for Cas. 

 

Cas slowed the kiss and then stopped it entirely as his hands mercifully relieved Dean of his shirt. “You’re still okay with what we discussed?” 

 

Dean’s cheeks flushed, he couldn’t help it. The thought of what Cas had planned for him… he shuddered. “Yes, absolutely yes, a thousand times hell fucking yes. Is that a clear enough answer for you?” 

 

“Hmm.” Cas paced a slow circle around Dean, dragging his fingertips across Dean’s exposed skin near his waistline. “Say please.” 

 

God damnit. Just do it, Dean. “Please.” 

 

“Sorry, what was that?” 

 

He mentally kicked himself. He knew better. “Please, Professor.” 

 

“Good boy. Take off the rest of your clothes.” 

 

Dean obliged with rapid, clumsy movements that nearly had him colliding headfirst against the chair he’d just gotten out of. He swore under his breath and took a second to collect himself and fold his clothes, like Cas had told him to do during the discussion. 

 

When he turned back around, Cas was completely naked save for those blue panties he’d seen in the picture and he was laying the tie flat out on his desk. “Did you prep?” 

 

He shook his head. “No, Professor.” His cock throbbed openly, and Cas tsk’d loudly when he reached down to grab it. 


“Turn around, lean over the desk you were just sitting at. I want you to open yourself up for me.” Cas walked over, setting a tiny bottle of lube down and then let his eyes travel over Dean’s form before taking a seat behind his own desk like Dean imagined he did a hundred times a day. 

 

He nodded once to show his understanding and fumbled with the cap on the lube. He wanted this so fucking bad, but it would be a lot easier if his hands would quit shaking. Dean awkwardly slicked two of his fingers and bent over the desk, bracing his free hand on the back of the chair as he inched his legs apart a little further and slowly let out his breath. His experience playing with himself in this manner was surprisingly limited, but he’d done it to enough other people that it couldn’t be that hard, right? 

 

But the angle was all wrong, he barely had one finger nudged in up to the second knuckle before he had to twist his body to the side. That proved to be both a miracle and a mistake, because Cas was sitting at his desk with his glasses on, grading a fucking paper. 

 

The lack of attention was simultaneously a relief - because it didn’t matter how ridiculous he looked if Cas wasn’t watching anyway - and a curse… was he not doing it right? He licked his lips in determination and let out a moan as he slid his finger in deeper, extending out the rest of his hand to give himself more room. He’d already lost half his boner in the shuffle, but when he closed his eyes and imagined Cas watching him spread out like this and then realized that was actually at least sort of happening, his cock immediately got back on board. 

 

The sound of the pen scratching on paper stopped abruptly when Dean let out a porn-star worthy moan. 

 

“Does that feel good, Dean?” 

 

“Fuck, y-yeah, just wish it was you.” He rocked back on his own finger, not giving himself a choice as he added a second finger. 

 

“You want my cock?” Cas asked in a voice lower than Dean’s GPA woulda been as the sound of a chair scraping across the floor filled Dean’s ears. “Or do you want my ass?” 

 

Dean let out a strangled noise, moving his fingers faster. That wasn’t a fair question and Cas knew it. But at that moment? There was only one answer. “Want your cock, Cas.” 

 

“Sorry?”

 

God. Damnit. “Want your cock, Professor.” 

 

He could hear Cas stroking himself, and fuck if it didn’t do something to Dean. He was leaking all over some poor student’s desk as he worked himself open to the sound of Cas’ voice, and when he had three fingers inside of himself, he was near ready to beg. Like properly, actually beg. 

 

The problem was… Cas knew that. 

 

“Think you’re ready for me, Dean? All those times you fucked me until I couldn’t speak… is that tight little hole of yours ready for the payback? I’m not the type of professor that grades on a curve… what you get is what you get. I won’t go easy on you.” 

 

Dean’s head dropped down between his shoulders and he found himself thrusting into the fucking air. That’s where he was at. That’s how fucked out Cas had Dean, and he hadn’t even fucking touched him. “Yeah, I’m ready. I’m ready, Cas. Professor. Fuck, whatever the hell your name is, just please, or I’m gonna end up blowin’ my load all by myself.” 

 

Cas stood up and moved his chair out of the way as Dean tried desperately to watch him from his awkward position, not daring to stop fingering himself. “If you can manage to be a little more polite about it, I’ll consider it.” He picked up the tie that he’d laid out on the desk and ran his broad, perfect fucking hand over it and that was all she fucking wrote. 

 

“Please, sir. Want - fuck, I need it, Professor. Need to know what it feels like to have you split me open.” 

 

“Get over here.” 

 

Dean left himself empty and grabbed the lube, then walked quickly over to Cas with his face beat red. Cas simply looked down at his own cock and added, “Well? It’s not gonna lube itself.” 

 

He knew Cas wanted the actual lube Dean was holding, but he was determined to be good at this. He knelt, gazing up at Cas with glossy, hungry eyes and leaned in to suck him slowly. Cas hissed at the unexpected turn of events but fisted his hand in Dean’s hair and drove his cock deeper into Dean’s mouth. He gagged from the sudden intrusion to his throat but fought it off, gripping onto Cas’ thighs like lifelines as Cas started fucking his face. 

 

“And I thought I was the cockslut. You want me in all your holes, don’t you, baby?” 

 

Dean hummed an affirmative, the vibrations going straight through Cas’ cock as he let his eyes flutter closed to blink back the tears forming. A few seconds later, Cas was pulling Dean off by the hair and adjusting the panties he was still wearing a little more to the side. “Bend over, put your hands on the far side of the desk but keep your shoulders back.” 

 

Here it comes. “Yes, Professor.” Dean moved as he was instructed, grateful to Cas for putting a towel down. He kept his head and shoulders as straight as he could as he felt Cas secure that tie around his neck. The fabric was softer than he imagined it would be, and it felt good pressing against his throat. Cas kept the long end in his hand and used the other to gently push Dean down a little further as he kicked Dean’s legs apart. “Comfortable?” 

 

The truth was, not really. His hip bones were pressing painfully against the corner of Cas’ desk, and it was just a little too wide for Dean to be able to grip the edge without straining. He took a second to reach down and bring his balls up on top of the wood so they wouldn’t get smashed - that’d be an instant mood killer - and then nodded. No amount of discomfort in the world was gonna stop him from making this fantasy come to life. “Yeah, yes, sir.” He swallowed and felt his Adam’s apple drag itself across the tie. “Fucking perfect, now fuck me, Cas. Fucking own me, come o--”

 

He nearly choked on his own saliva when Cas shoved his cock inside of him. Dean’s first reaction was to yelp, but the sound was hard to manage in his current situation. It burned and stretched in ways Dean’s own fingers never could. If he’d never bottomed before, he might have put an end to it right then - but he knew exactly how good it was gonna get so he shut his damn mouth. 

 

“I already own you, Dean. I don’t need to fuck you to prove that, do I?” But even Cas’ voice was less certain than it had been, like he was struggling just as much as Dean was to keep his head above water with this new dynamic. He moved slowly, like he was trying to feel every damn centimeter of movement as Dean’s ass pulled him in further. 

 

It stayed like that, slow and measured until Dean finally relaxed. He could feel the thin fabric of Cas’ pushed-aside thong brushing against his ass with each thrust, which only turned Dean on even more. The tie thing was perfect, Dean could choose exactly how hard it choked him by how he moved his body. He tested it out, leaning forward a little more and moaning when Cas responded by slamming his hips against Dean’s ass. Dean pitched forward and went on his tiptoes to balance, groaning at the way his cock slid across the already precome-damp towel. The threads were just rough enough to give Dean the friction his body had been craving since setting foot in that classroom, but not so rough that he needed to worry. 

 

Cas always took good care of him, and this wasn’t gonna be an exception. 

 

He moaned Cas’ name as he arched his back to relieve some of the pressure on his neck. Cas’ free hand was all over his body... raking over his stomach, pinching his nipple, gripping his hip as he fucked into him hard enough to move the entire desk. Cas tugged more forcefully on the tie and used it as leverage to pull Dean back to him with every powerful thrust, and Dean was practically losing his mind with the need to come all over the towel that felt so goddamn good under him. 

 

But he couldn’t, that wasn’t the deal. He knew he wasn’t gonna last much longer, so he clenched around Cas’ cock and rocked back. “Cas, baby, you gonna come inside of me? I wanna know what it feels like, I’ve never let anyone do it before. Gonna fill me up and be the first to mark me up like that?”

 

Cas grunted, his hips finally losing some of their steady, violent rhythm. “You know how to ask, Dean.” 

 

Fuck. He dropped down, the tie pulling tight against his throat but he didn’t care. He wanted Cas fucking him so deeply he couldn’t speak, and it worked. The change in angle had Cas bottoming out completely but he brushed against that magic fucking button and Dean jerked with the effort it took not to come. “Fuck! Please, Professor. Please come inside of me!” 

 

“God, you’re so fucking hot when you beg for it.” 

 

Dean didn’t even have it in him to be embarrassed by it, because a split second later he could feel it. Feel Cas’ cock pulsing and leaking inside of him, feel the shift in Cas’ balls against him. It was hot and wet and -- 

 

“Damnit, Cas, I’m gonna -” 

 

Cas yanked the tie back and Dean with it until his body was lifted enough that the muscles in his arms strained and popped in their effort to keep his grip on the desk. Cas was still buried impossibly deep inside Dean as he reached around to stroke him, teeth grazing overtop of the tie. 

 

“Wait, you - said -” 

 

“Fuck what I said, Dean. Come for me, now. I wanna feel your ass tighten around my cock.” 

 

He’d only managed to hold off that long because in their initial discussions, Cas had said he wanted Dean to finish in his mouth which was too tempting to pass up. But now, with Cas’ cock still splitting him open and his hot-as-sin voice in his ear, Dean was done for. Cas’ smooth hand twisted slightly and Dean came all over that towel with one of the neediest noises that he’d ever made. 

 

“That’s it, baby. Come for me, don’t stop. Say my fucking name.” 

 

Dean gasped as Cas continued to stroke him, milking out aftershock after aftershock. “P-professor Novak!” 

 

“Good boy.” Cas finally released him, swiping his finger through the huge ass mess on the towel and bringing it to Dean’s lips. He hesitated for a moment before sucking them in greedily. 

 

“Beautiful, Dean. Fuck, I don’t wanna pull out. Maybe ever.” 

 

Dean laughed quietly as he came down, slowly forcing his fingers to release their grip on the desk. He wiggled his ass, then moaned at the way he could feel Cas’ come moving around inside of him. “Shit, then don’t. We could give your next class a live demonstration.”

 

Cas thrusted again, the impact somewhat muted from his softening cock. “Don’t tempt me, Dean. I’ll fuck you in front of the whole goddamn world, just to prove that you’re mine.” 

 

He shivered, but Cas slid out of him and smacked his ass. Dean turned around to kiss him, the heat on simmer but quickly turning up again. He pushed himself up onto the wet towel and wrapped his legs around Cas, pulling him in closer as Cas’ hands ran up his back and he bit his bottom lip. Already, he could feel his cock twitching like it wasn’t even remotely done yet. 

 

“Fuck, I’m gonna be so late.” 

Chapter Text

How they managed to go a month without meeting each other's closest friends - or Dean’s brother - was a miracle but Charlie had demanded this dinner happen and Cas was nervous. He was still new to all this stuff and hated meeting new people. He would have even been more closed off with Dean had they met under different circumstances but it seemed they skipped the formalities when Dean walked in on him riding a cock.

 

It worked out for them, but meeting the two closest people to Dean was intimidating. What if they thought he was weird or didn’t get his dry humor? 

 

He hoped introducing them to Meg at the same time might help the awkwardness - since she was weirder than Cas - and he was relieved she was free that day, even if he had to drive thirty minutes to pick her up. 

 

“Get in loser, we’re going shopping.” Cas joked as she approached his car.

 

“Hello Clarence, nice Mean Girls nod.” She climbed inside, “Can’t believe this old thing is still running.”

 

“Don’t hate on the bucket, your car is at least fifteen years younger and not working.” Cas pulled out and started the drive to Dean’s apartment. “What’s wrong with it anyway?” 

 

“It’s not actually broken, I just didn’t want to drive, so I lied.” Meg turned the volume up and started singing Chop Suey! - at least she’s always shared his taste in music.

 

“You’re a bitch.” Castiel rolled his eyes, he should have known better. 

 

“Yes, that’s long been established. Tell me about his roommate?” She earned another eye roll and he put the music up louder.

 

————

 

Once parked, Cas laid his head back against the seat and took a breath. Although he and Meg hadn’t hung out in person in a while, she seemed to remember that sometimes, Cas just needed a moment. “I’ll be right outside.” He nodded and then heard the door open and shut.

 

Everything is fine. Surely Dean has mentioned my touch aversion… ugh. Either way it will be awkward. People either touched and hugged him without warning or they stood there like he was a bomb that might explode, he couldn’t say which was worse. But he sighed and opened his eyes, just in time to see Dean walking up to Meg. They had seen photos of one another so they weren’t working blind and he smiled when they shook hands. Both of them were so relaxed you wouldn’t believe they hadn’t met before. Dean was wearing some perfectly fitted dark wash jeans and a red and black flannel shirt. It looked like Cas’ favorite flannel of Dean’s but newer and he couldn’t help the tightness in his chest at the fact that Dean bought a new one, simply because Cas loved the shirt.

 

Unfortunately, he couldn’t hear what was being said, but they looked his way with smiles on their faces. Now or never.

 

Castiel opened the door and walked up to the closest people in his life. Benny was another, but there were things even he didn’t know about Cas that these two did. As he approached them, he could tell Meg was explaining why she called him Clarence. “... and he refuses to watch the movie.”

 

“Why would I watch it if you have already given me the play by play?” Cas instantly walked into Dean’s arms and inhaled his comforting scent. Suddenly all was right in the world. 

 

“Wow…” Meg paused. “I would take a photo if I cared just a little bit more.” She was teasing, but Cas could hear she was surprised at how relaxed he was in Dean’s arms. 

 

Dean grinned and kissed Cas’ forehead. “I care enough for all of us.”

 

“Cute with a side of cheese. Not a bad start, I hear you live with a lesbian? I’m a sucker for redheads.” Meg winked, and Cas sighed. 

 

“No. I told you, no.” Cas pulled away to face his obnoxious friend.

 

Dean held up a hand, “Wait, didn’t Benny tell you no about me? Imagine where we would be if you listened.”

 

Before Cas could protest, Meg laughed. “I think I like this one, Clarence.”

 

Cas narrowed his eyes, giving Dean a - this isn’t over - look but Dean made his adorable face shrug and pulled him into a kiss.

 

As much as he wanted to say, whose side are you on, Dean’s lips on his made his mind short circuit and he forgot why he was even annoyed. 

 

He was suddenly acutely aware of the fact that they hadn’t seen, touched or kissed each other since Sunday evening and he needed more. His mouth parted for his lover and his arms wrapped around his neck, deepening the kiss.

 

Meg cleared her throat, “Can you at least tell me the apartment number so I don’t have to watch you two suck face?” 

 

Dean pulled away first, probably to lead the way inside but Cas had other plans. He told Meg the apartment number and pulled Dean back in, happy that he went without a fight. 

 

Once Cas knew they were alone, he finally pulled away. “Hello, Dean.” 

 

“Hello, Cas. You just do that so we can get some alone time?” Dean grinned and placed his forehead against Cas’. 

 

“Possibly.” He smiled. “I missed you.” 

 

“I missed you too. Facetime isn’t cutting it, angel.” Dean kissed him again and cupped his chin, “Those eyes still take my breath away.”

 

Cas stared right back into Dean’s unreal green eyes. “Ditto.” 

 

“Ditto?” He grinned, “Isn’t that from some movie?”

 

“Possibly.” Cas tilted his head, “Would you rather I say, right back at you, bro.” He teased.

 

Dean narrowed his gaze. “I don’t say bro!” 

 

“Sorry. Sorry. Right back at you, dude.” Cas could tell Dean was fighting a smile.

 

“You know what, just for that horrible imitation of my voice, you don’t get the present I got you.” He teased.

 

Cas eyed him, “Present? It isn’t my birthday or anything.” 

 

Dean rolled his eyes. “No shit. But maybe I’ll just hold onto it until you’re a good boy.”

 

“Dean.” Cas crossed his arms and held up his chin. “I’m a good boy.”

 

“No, you’re a bratty boy. Now get upstairs before I spank you against this random Corolla.” Dean was joking but Cas’ breath still hitched in his throat. 

 

He chewed his lip. “That would have been so hot had it been literally any other car.” 

 

Dean laughed out loud, “You know I agree with that.” He kissed Cas and interlocked their fingers as they began to walk to the stairs. “Feeling better?”

 

“Yes, thank you.” And he was. Dean always made him feel better. 

 

“Sam might not make it for dinner. He was held up at work but he said he would get here as soon as he could, even if it was just for pie.” 

 

“Shit the pies!” Cas turned and ran back to his car to grab them. He walked back carefully with a pie in each hand. 

 

“I thought you were grabbing a pie at Donna’s?” Dean was pleasantly surprised, which was exactly why Cas did this. “You were up so late last night grading.”

 

Cas smiled proudly, “I was up late because I wanted to make them from scratch in the morning. I wouldn’t have had time to grade today so I stayed up later than normal.” He shrugged slightly and handed one to Dean. 

 

“Fricken deep dish? Awesome! You definitely get your present now.” He winked, knowing damn well that always made Cas’ knees weak. “You’ve met her on FaceTime, it’s no different, she won’t hug you okay?” Dean tried to reassure Cas but it was unnecessary.

 

“I’m actually fine, Dean. Thank you.” He leaned in for a kiss just before Dean opened the door and they stepped inside.

 

Charlie instantly ran over with a huge smile but kept her hands to herself, “Hey there Cas! I see you know the way to this dude’s heart.” She held out her hands to take the pie and he handed it to her. 

 

“Hello Charlie, yes, I keep pies on hand so he doesn’t get wise and leave me for some Donna chick.” Cas grinned at Dean’s eye roll.

 

“So many things wrong with that statement, should I even go through them?” Charlie was about to speak but Dean cut her off, “You know what? I have to, because if I didn’t, it would bug me. One, Donna is family. Two, she owns the bakery, but her specialty is cookies. Three, she’s married. Four… okay maybe just those three.”

 

Cas was still smiling, he knew deep down Dean would never leave him. 

 

“Wait I got one! Four, she’s married to a chick. Deano here doesn’t have the right parts anyway.” Charlie slapped Dean’s back and walked away. 

 

Meg came up to grab Dean’s pie. “I’ll take that one.” 

 

Cas frowned, “Wait, are you helping in the kitchen?”

 

“Shut up.” She turned to leave. 

 

“Charlie! Don’t let her touch food!” Cas followed her with Dean close behind.

 

“Zip it, Clarence!” Meg walked over to the far counter to place the pie next to the other. “I’ve been a great help, huh, Red?”

 

“Oh yeah.” Charlie smiled over at Meg and they shared some weird look that made Cas scrunch his nose. 

 

He glanced over at Dean who was wearing a nearly identical face and held up his hands when he saw Cas was looking at him, turning to leave.

 

Cas followed, not wanting to be around that. “Where’s my present?” He asked in a cute voice.

 

“Don’t be adorable. You’ll get it later.” Dean walked towards his room and Cas followed. 

 

Cas noticed Dean was grinning when he closed his bedroom door and he honestly didn’t care about any present. Dean was his present. 

 

“I fucking missed you.” Cas nearly jumped into Dean’s arms, slamming their mouths together. 

 

Dean kissed back with the same intensity, neither of them caring about the damn dinner anymore. 

 

Unfortunately, the women cared and they couldn’t get past second base before they were knocking but it was fine, dinner was ready and they really were hungry. Sex would have to wait.

 

Dinner went on without a hitch, and to their surprise, Charlie offered to give Meg a ride home so Dean and Cas could have some alone time. Cas immediately responded with an okay bye, even though they hadn’t even finished eating yet, making everyone laugh. He wasn’t joking, but they could think he was.

 

They had just finished pie when Sam walked inside the apartment. Cas had met him on FaceTime and Dean had warned him about how tall he was, but nothing could prepare him for how huge Sam Winchester really was. More importantly, nothing could have prepared him for that giant man pulling him in for a hug.

 

The room stilled and it was quite embarrassing for Cas and probably for Sam as well. Dean was giving him a look and he instantly apologized - at least four times -  but Cas waved it off. “It’s okay. You didn’t know.”

 

“No, I did. I just forgot. That was probably a horrible first impression huh?” Sam ran a hand through his long auburn hair. 

 

“No, I’m fine. Thank you, Sam. There are leftovers if you’re hungry and I made apple and cherry pie.” Cas wanted to move on and it was relieved it worked. 

 

—————

 

Once everyone was gone, Cas and Dean were almost too full and exhausted to have sex.They may not have had the energy to go all the way, but they sure found the energy for some toe curling blowjobs and soon they were laying in bed, completely sated with their eyes closed. 

 

“You did amazing today, Cas. I would apologize for Sam, but you did so well I don’t even think you need to hear that again.” He handed Cas a small box.

 

“Thank you, Dean. And you’re correct, Sam’s seventeen apologies worked just fine.” He grinned, “I like your brother, and your sort of sister too.”

 

Dean huffed a laugh, “Yeah, Meg is alright. A little abrasive, but I like it.” 

 

“Charlie seemed to like it, too.” They both laughed at that. 

 

Cas opened the box and a huge grin broke out on his face, inside, was a stuffed bee. “Dean.” He pulled it out and hugged it. “I love it.”

 

——————

 

Three months of therapy worked wonders. Dean pulling him in for a spontaneous kiss never made him tense anymore and actually began to enjoy them immensely.

 

“Good morning, Castiel. How are you today?” Dr. Milton asked, although she insisted Cas call her Hannah. 

 

“I’m doing well, thank you. And how are you, Hannah?” He made himself comfortable on the loveseat. 

 

“I’m great. Thank you for asking. Tell me about your week.” She crossed her hands and gave him her full attention. She never took notes, he always wondered how she remembered everything. 

 

“My week was incredibly mundane.” But he knew she wanted more than that. “A student of mine came out this week. He came up to me and thanked me for helping him feel confident in his sexuality but I didn’t feel I deserved it.” 

 

“And why is that?” 

 

Castiel shrugged. “I didn’t do anything to help.”

 

“He seems to think so.”

 

He thought about that a moment. Why did Jack believe he helped at all? “I don’t understand why.”

 

“Remember what we’ve discussed?” He tilted his head and she smiled warmly. “About how you don’t have to understand everything, everyone is feeling.”

 

Cas nodded, “Of course, and how I’m not entitled to think anyone’s personal feelings are unwarranted.” 

 

“Exactly.”

 

“So… I don’t think I did anything, but Jack… sorry I didn’t mean to use his name.” She waved it off and he continued. “But the student believes I helped, therefore I did help?” 

 

“That is the gist, yes. Remember when Dean told you not to assume how he feels?” 

 

“Yes. 

 

“You should practice that with everyone. Their feelings are theirs.” She smiled warmly and moved on. That was probably why he had made so much progress with her. She pushed him often, but never too far. “Let’s talk about touch. I’d like to try our exercise.” And here comes that push.

 

Cas took a deep breath and stood, watching her walk around the desk. “I feel like it gets easier every time.” 

 

“As do I.” She placed a hand on his shoulder and maintained eye contact. She was much shorter than he was with stunning blue eyes and dark hair. They could have been related now that Cas thought about it and he chuckled, waving her off when she asked about why he laughed. He didn’t feel like explaining that. Hannah placed another hand on his other shoulder, still smiling adoringly. She seemed genuinely proud of him and it felt nice. “Very good. And do you still feel physical pain with unexpected touch?” She took her hands off and sat on the loveseat next to him. 

 

“In a way yes. When it is completely unexpected, I still jerk away and feel the touch long after it is gone, but it isn’t painful. More… aggravating. You know how sometimes it snows, and your skin becomes dry and sensitive and can even be itchy?” She nodded. “Sort of like that.” Hannah grabbed his hand unexpectedly, surely to test him and released it the second she saw his eyes widen and his body tense. 

 

He felt like he failed, except there was no test, not one he could fail anyway. She stood, and walked back to her side and sat. “That wasn’t bad, Castiel. You’re allowed to feel how you feel.” She repeated - as she always did. And he nodded. “Are you up for a conversation about intercourse?” She asked, giving him an out. 

 

“Yes. I believe I’ve done quite well there. I haven’t touched - nor had the desire to touch - anyone but Dean in all this time. Monogamy is working well for us. I still have a very high sex drive but my partner does as well so it works for us. We have sexual relations of some sort once or twice every day and we are both very much still into it.” He grinned when she blushed. “Apologies.”

 

“No apologies necessary, Castiel. I’m happy this has been the easiest part for you. What do you believe was the eye opener to this new lifestyle?” She asked curiously but he eyed her and tilted his head, wasn’t that obvious?

 

“It was absolutely without a doubt, Dean.”

Chapter Text

Dean was so damn proud of Cas. Every single time he went to his weekly session he came back looking lighter. For a professor, he sure needed a little help with learning how to communicate and since this Hannah chick came around Cas was doing much better. Not that Dean could talk, communication was never his strong suit but Cas learning about it all has actually taught Dean as well, so everything was running smooth. 

 

That was, until Michael decided to pop up out of nowhere like a damn whack-a-mole. Cas had gotten a few calls from a blocked number and he was convinced it wasn’t Michael but Dean knew otherwise.

 

“Okay but how do you know?” Charlie challenged. Cas was at therapy, giving the two best friends some time to talk about it all. Dean told her everything that happened in the house with Michael and how from the very beginning he knew the dude was obsessed with Cas.

 

“You never saw the way he looked at him, Charles. And I get it, I mean, it’s Cas. Hell, if I lost him I’d go crazy too. But it’s different because Cas is actually my boyfriend. Michael just got to fuck him a couple times and… and tried to claim him. He hated the bond Cas and I shared.”

 

“I’ll never not swoon when you call him your boyfriend.” She fake swooned and batted her eyes.

 

“Shut up.” He rolled his eyes and looked away to hide his smile.

 

“Okay... so, say it is him, what now?” Charlie got up to go grab them both a beer. 

 

“Dunno. I mean, I can’t prove it. Plus he isn’t putting Cas in danger.” He took a sip and played with the label. “He just calls and hangs up when he answers.”

 

“Yet.” 

 

For some reason, the word yet gave him a chill. He’d fucking kill that dude without blinking and then strike a deal with a demon to bring the bastard back, just to kill him again if he ever hurt Cas. “I thought you were on the - it’s probably not him - side?” 

 

“Just saying, if you’re worried about him then I trust your judgement.” She held out her bottle to cheer and he did. “Let’s not focus on that, how about we put some smiles on our faces before Cas walks through that door. You know he’s sensitive after sessions and anything can trigger whether that makes for a really good day, or a shitty one.”

 

Chuckles was right, Dean couldn’t focus on the negative what if’s right now. Cas would be home soon and the pizza should get here shortly after and they would have a great evening.

 

But that wasn’t how it happened.

 

The pizza arrived, and no Cas. Not only that, he wasn’t answering his cell phone. “Dean, your pacing isn’t helping. Just sit and eat the pizza, it’s already cold.”

 

“Fuck that pizza. How can I eat not knowing if he is okay? His phone is going straight to voicemail Charlie. He never shuts his phone off.” He knew he was acting somewhat irrational, but in his mind, it was warranted. Especially after the conversation he and Charlie were just having. “The sun is going down.” Dean stared out the window a moment before turning to face her again, he could see she felt sorry for him, and normally he’d set her straight, he hated pity. But for now, he was too damn worried to care.

 

Thirty more minutes passed, before Dean finally heard someone walking up the apartment stairs and he bolted to the door. Time stood still when he opened it and saw Cas, his angel, with a busted lip and split eyebrow. “What the fuck happened?!” Dean pulled him in and Cas sighed.

 

“Michael.” Dean froze. He’d kill him, he’d find him, wherever he was and- “He’s in jail now. Everything is okay.” Cas hugged Dean, comforting him, like he was the one that got punched in the face a few times. 

 

Dean pulled back, “Let me take care of you, Cas.”

 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t call, my phone was dead and by the time I got done speaking to the police, I just wanted to get here.” He handed Dean his iphone, “Can I borrow your charger? I realized all too late I forgot mine.” His eyes widened at the box on the dining table, “Pizza.” Cas handed Dean his phone, rushing to wash his hands to grab a slice, not even bothering with a plate. 

 

Dean noticed Cas’ flinch when he took a bite and got angry all over again, how could anyone punch that adorable face? He knew Cas could be an ass sometimes, but he never in a million years imagined hitting him. Dean went to the room to plug in the phone and came back out, “Okay, I’m going to need the entire story, please tell me you got some punches in.”

 

Cas rolled his eyes, “Yes, a few actually. Let me start at the beginning.” He took a deep breath. 

 

“I left my session with Hannah, and you know there is a coffee shop across the street? Well he was there, with what I assume was a date but he definitely won’t be getting a second date now. Our eyes locked and he jumped up and walked over, his date looked completely taken aback by it but followed him. I tried to wave him off, saying I had somewhere to be and he demanded I speak to him. When he grabbed my arm I yelled at him to let go, and someone walking by tried to help. His date also tried to interfere, and Michael became hostile. He shoved the bystander off and told his date to back up, all while still gripping my arm so I punched him. He hit me back much faster than expected, but he’ll definitely have a black eye tomorrow.” Cas took a deep breath and waited for Dean to respond.

 

“And he got arrested?” Dean asked, still processing all of the information.

 

“Yes, the witnesses told the police he wouldn’t let me go and he was charged with assault. It’s my choice on whether I’d like to pursue pressing charges and I think I will. He begged me not to and said he would leave me alone but I don’t trust him.” 

 

Dean took a shuddering breath as he held out his hand with his fingers splayed wide, and Cas only hesitated a moment before taking it. “Okay, Cas. Part of me wants to tell you not to press charges just so I can murder that son of a bitch myself, but I realize this needs to be your choice. I’ve got your back, no matter what you choose to do.”

 

Cas ended up agreeing not to press charges as long as Michael agreed to a restraining order. It worried Dean, but Cas told him he didn’t think Michael was actually dangerous. Just clueless with a temper. The mediator even convinced Michael to agree to anger management, so Dean and Cas both felt better about keeping this out of court. 

 

“I’m so proud of you, Cas.” Dean played with Cas’ hair absentmindedly, happy that he could finally feel like Michael wouldn’t be an issue anymore.

 

“Thank you.” Cas smiled. He didn’t ask why Dean was proud or try to convince him it wasn’t a big deal, and even that was progress with Cas. 

 

“So, Cas. Serious question, where do you stand on marriage?”

 

-------------------------------

 

“That one,” Dean said as he pointed to a tan and white guinea pig. The little thing was in a cage with two others, and was trying to hump the hell out of a darker colored one. “That’s my guy.” 

 

The clerk at the pet store eyed Dean. “Um, sir? She’s a girl.” 

 

Dean threw his head back and laughed. “Even better. I’ll take her.” He received an awkward nod in response and a few minutes later, Dean was holding a plastic ball with an animal inside of it and staring at his passenger seat. 

 

He muttered to himself, “How the hell am I gonna get you home?” 

 

Attempting to drive with her in his lap was proving difficult, she was squirmy and it felt fuckin’ weird, so he put her on the floor of his passenger seat and hoped for the best. Both Dean and the guinea pig made it safely to Dean’s apartment, and he set about the annoying task of setting up the cage, food, water and toys for the little gal. 

 

Charlie stuck her head in the door. “Um… why have you brought a rat into our house?” 

 

“Not a rat, it’s a guinea pig.” Dean picked the fluffy mass out of the ball and held her out to Charlie. “She’s for Cas. Today marks six months that he’s been back in therapy, and I thought we should celebrate.” 

 

Cas had been spending a lot more time over at Dean and Charlie’s apartment since he’d had that conversation with the others. They’d all been cool about it, and no one had heard from Michael in a couple of months, so now the only obstacle to their happiness… was them. 

 

Things had been mostly good. Cas still had his bad days but Dean was getting a lot better about not taking them personally. He realized after the first half a dozen of them that a bad day didn’t mean they were breaking up, it just meant that Cas needed a little extra space. 

 

And it’s not like Dean was perfect, he screwed up sometimes, too. They’d sometimes go days without speaking to each other because of it, but they always found their way back to each other. 

 

Cas’ therapy sessions were working wonders. He was more comfortable with himself, was getting better at expressing his emotions and letting people in, and most importantly - he was managing his touch aversion. Dean knew that those first few sessions had been particularly hard for him, but he’d stuck it out and the difference was striking.

 

So, enter the guinea pig. He’d tossed around different gift ideas, but this stinky little creature seemed to be the perfect fit - it would give Cas something of his own over at Dean’s other than the drawer full of panties and a toothbrush, and it would remind Cas that Dean actually listened to him when he spoke. 

 

Everything was ready when Cas pulled in the driveway, and Dean quietly apologized to the creature before throwing a towel over the cage to hide her. He made sure the sides were still open so she could breathe, and then met Cas at the door after hearing him come up the stairs. 

 

He waited for Cas to kiss him and then stood aside. “Hey, angel. How’d it go today?” 

 

Cas smiled as he shrugged off his coat. “Good. Today was a good day.” 

 

“Yeah? I’m glad to hear it.” The guinea pig squeaked and Cas’ eyes immediately pinned themselves to the cage. 

 

“Dean…?”

 

He laughed, heading over to grip the towel. “Damnit, I was hoping I’d be able to set up the presentation a little better. I uh… got something for you today.” 

 

Cas followed him over and stood close, his eyes intently narrowed. “Should I be afraid?” 

 

Dean pulled the towel off the cage. “Dunno, angel. You all of a sudden scared of rodents?” 

 

“Of course not.” Cas slid open the latch on the cage and reached in slowly, careful not to scare her. “She looks just like Hazel did!” 

 

“Her name is Nut, by the way. Get it? Hazelnut?” Dean grinned cheekily, proud of himself as he watched Cas cuddle Nut to his chest. The bitchface he received for the name was absolutely, certifiably worth the hundred bucks he’d just spent on the damn thing. 

 

“You named our guinea pig Nut?” 

 

“Yeah, well, to be fair she was tryin’ to fuck one of the other little fluffballs at the store, I thought she was a dude when I named her. But I remembered you tellin’ me how much you loved Hazel, and…” Dean trailed off and shrugged a little, reaching over to scratch Nut’s head. “I’m really proud of you, Cas. For everything, all day every day, but you’ve been in therapy again for six months and that’s not nothin’.” 

 

Nut climbed up Cas’ arm and sat on his shoulder. Dean suddenly got a little concerned, she didn’t understand Cas’ need for personal space - and yet, he seemed completely unbothered by it. “Thank you, Dean. Seriously, it means more to me than you know.” 

 

He watched as Cas and Nut booped noses and he thought his heart was going to wave a white flag and keel over dead in his chest. This was it, this was fucking happiness. 

 

“I uh…” Dean swallowed thickly, clearing his throat and trying to sound like a man again instead of someone fighting back tears. “I got her food and stuff, too… it’s over there.” 

 

Cas looked around at everything Dean had gotten and nodded his approval. “Did you have a guinea pig when you were younger?” 

 

He blushed and shook his head. “Nah, but Google helped.” 

 

Nut scurried down to climb back into the cage and Cas latched it tight, then pulled Dean into a hug. “I love you.” 

 

Dean froze, his arms locking around Cas’ back as the enormity of those words sank into his toes. They’d never said it, it wasn’t like Dean hadn’t known he loved Cas, or that Cas loved him, but they’d never said it. 

 

“It’s okay, Dean. You don’t have to say it back, there’s no rush or anything. But one of the things I’ve been working on is how to effectively communicate what I do want in addition to what I don’t want. And I... want you to know that I love you.” Cas’ bright blue eyes were warm and fixed on Dean’s as his hand brushed Dean’s cheek. “Nut is just another reason on an already very long list.” 

 

He nodded dumbly, his hands shaking where they clutched onto Cas’ sides. “No, fuck, of course I wanna say it back. I’ve wanted to say it since the day I left after the quarantine, I just didn’t want to scare you away. I lo-” 

 

Cas cut the words off with a passionate kiss, and Dean immediately opened for him. He would have been content to fuck Cas - or hell, they’d started switching a while ago, he’d let Cas fuck him - right there on the living room floor, but Charlie coughed loudly from the couch. 

 

“Uh… you two know you have a bedroom here, right?” 

 

Dean kissed Cas again and turned to face his roommate. “Hey, we’re havin’ a family moment here. Right, Nut?” He glanced back toward the cage and stifled a laugh. “Wait, wait, maybe it’s the left nut.” 

 

“You’re a damn nut, Dean.” Charlie smiled, getting off the couch. “It’s fine, I’ll be in my bedroom, making no noise and pretending like I don’t exist.” 

 

“Yeah, I love you too, Harry.” Dean winked at Charlie, and she flipped him off in response as she disappeared into her room. 

 

He turned back to face Cas. “Now, where were we?” 

Chapter Text

Finding an appropriate amount of ‘alone time’ with Dean was proving to be more difficult than he’d expected. They’d been officially together for nine months, and in that time, he could count on one hand the amount of times they had either place to themselves. Monogamy apparently dictated quiet orgasms in the presence of others, which wasn’t something he’d anticipated. 

 

He was feeling squirrely, antsy, insert any-other-supposedly-impatient-animal-here. Dean was sitting on the couch in Cas’ house with his legs spread obscenely and Cas was itching to touch him. But Benny, Cole and Gad were right there, and he and Dean had been practicing keeping their hands off of each other when others - particularly those three - were around to avoid starting an unintentional orgy (which had happened twice already). 

 

“Dean, can you help me with something in my office, please?” Cas’ voice was almost too formal in its delivery, and Dean looked up with confused expression. “Don’t look at me like that, just get your ass upstairs.” He didn’t wait for Dean to argue. 

 

When he was at the top of the stairs and heading into his office, he finally heard Dean on the steps. Cas let out a sigh of relief because even a hushed orgasm was better than none, and it had been a full, agonizingly long twelve hours since his last one. 


“What’d you need help with?” 

 

Cas shut the door behind Dean and pulled him in, kissing him deeply and tugging at his clothes. Dean chuckled against his lips and pinned their bodies together, nipping at Cas’ lip and looking at him like he had every single ounce of control Cas was desperately lacking at that moment. 

 

Not for the first time, Dean’s words from their first shower together ran through his mind. ‘All I know… is that if you were giving yourself over to me like that… I wouldn’t want anyone else watching.’ 

 

He’d be lying to himself, Dean and god almighty if he said he didn’t want that. They never had the privacy needed to do a scene, and other than that time in Cas’ classroom and another night involving a vibrating plug and a 5-star meal, they hadn’t really delved into dom/sub dynamics. It wasn’t strictly necessary when they both seemed more than content with the vanilla sex.

 

But now... it’s not like Cas was bored. Bored was a terrible word, this felt more like a loose-end he never tied up, or a book he started reading but never got around to finishing. 

 

“Will you just kiss me?” Cas pushed Dean back on the bed. If he was going to have to explain any of that, he was gonna do it after some release. Dean landed with an oof and didn’t ask any more questions. 

 

A half an hour later, Cas was leaning backward, bracing himself on Dean’s thighs as those amazing calloused hands tipped him over the edge. He could already feel Dean softening inside of him, and while he thoroughly enjoyed the sight of his spend all over that demigod physique… it wasn’t enough. Cas was hungry, and not in the way he used to be when he’d see how many guys he could get off at once… he just wanted more of Dean. 

 

“We need to get out of here. Preferably for a weekend, longer if we can both get away.” Cas said through panted breaths. 

 

Dean’s hands roved over his body and he shivered, the contact so fucking intimate that it ignited every part of Cas. “Yeah? What’d you have in mind?” 

 

Cas licked his lips, reaching down to take both of Dean’s hands in his own. It felt fitting, to propose this while Dean was still inside of him. “There’s a cabin up north, it’s not too expensive but would give us some damn privacy. I want…” He screwed up his face. It wasn’t like he was afraid to ask, he’d never been afraid to ask for what he wanted in this regard and he knew Dean would give him absolutely anything within his power to give… but he didn’t know how to word it. “I think I’d like to do a scene with you. I want to give myself to you, Dean. Completely.” 

 

The look he received in response was a mix of surprise and lust. Dean pulled Cas down to him and flipped them over, which would have been a lot hotter if Dean hadn’t slid out of him in the process. Cas groaned from the sudden emptiness but Dean swallowed the sound in a passionate kiss. 

 

He could have lost himself right there, and he knew it. Having Dean above him, caging him against the mattress and claiming his mouth… yes. He wanted this, for both of them.

 

“Okay, Cas.” The next kiss was softer, the third even softer than that. On it went, until Dean was peppering barely-existent kisses all over Cas’ face. He’d laugh if it didn’t make his chest ache in the best way. 

 

In the haze that followed, Cas managed to wrangle an actual conversation from Dean. They chose when, how long… what toys they’d bring. What their hard no’s were, although that was a thing they’d discussed on more than one occasion. But Cas refused to discuss details further than that. He was too curious about what Dean would come up with on his own to give any suggestions.

 

When they finally went back downstairs, everything was decided and booked… and Cas only had to wait two more weeks. 

 

-----------------------

 

The cabin was gorgeous, it was everything advertised and then some. It was completely secluded, the driveway alone was over a mile long and there wasn’t another house around as far as the eye could see. Instead, their view consisted of mountains, a river and nothing else but trees. The front porch was large with a swing not unlike Benny’s, and Cas laughed at the memory of them breaking it. “We should steer clear of the swing… if history repeats, we won’t get our deposit back.” 

 

Dean smirked at him as he walked through the front door with their bags. One of his own, one of Cas’, and one full of toys. It was that bag that Cas was most interested in, but it would have to wait. He was already wearing a plug, and each movement caused it to shift inside of him and drive him up a wall, but they had things to do before he could have Dean inside of him. 

 

They took a few minutes to check out the layout of the cabin. There were two bedrooms - they naturally chose the larger one with the bathroom attached - a half-bath near the kitchen and a living room with no TV. Cas frowned at the empty space above the fireplace. “What do people that aren’t sex addicts do when they’re here?” 

 

“Hell if I know. Enjoy nature maybe? Eat? I saw a grill and a firepit out back, and something roughly shaped like a hot tub. I can’t imagine we’re gonna get cell service up here, much less cable.” Dean seemed unbothered by his observations, but Cas’ teeth were immediately on edge. 

 

It was mid-January. He’d promised his students he’d be available to them despite his physical absence, but if Dean was right… 

 

Cas pulled his laptop out of his bag and hastened to plug it in. His shaky fingers had to type his password three times before it finally let him in, and sure enough… no connection. He swore, dread filling his entire body as he pulled out his cell phone and saw the No Service death sentence replacing his service bars. 

 

“Hey, hey. It’s okay.” 

 

Solid, warm hands wrapped around his torso. He twitched from the contact and hated himself for it; he’d really believed he was past that. Dean noticed and started to pull his hands back, but that only made Cas feel worse. He pivoted and latched onto Dean, burying his face in Dean’s neck. “I’m sorry, I’m okay. I just wasn’t anticipating not being able to be there for my students. I guess I was so caught up in thinking about being as far away from humanity as possible that it didn’t occur to me there wouldn’t be cell towers.” 

 

Dean kissed right above his ear. “We don’t have to stay if you’re not comfortable here, Cas. You know that. I’ll never ask you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.” 

 

For some reason, that just made it worse. He was being selfish, so selfish to take time off in the middle of a semester just to be with Dean, when Dean had been perfectly content with the way things were. The plug stretching him open felt unwelcome and burdensome for the first time in his life, and sweat beaded on the back of his neck as things started to spin out of control. 

 

He tried to pull away, his words coming out as a whisper. “I’m sorry, Dean.”  

 

“Don’t apologize, Cas.” Dean let him go, allowing Cas to pull away but he kept his arms outstretched and his voice steady. “Do I still have permission to touch you?” 

 

Cas scoffed, his eyes darkening and his skin heating up. He turned away from Dean to close his laptop. “I don’t know why the hell you’d want to, but yes, of course you do.” The words felt thick in his throat, but he was glad he said them. The last thing he wanted was to hurt Dean. 

 

“Good. Then stop what you’re doing and get back over here. Will you kneel?” 

 

It was a choice, not a command, and that alone was enough to convince Cas to do as he was asked. He left his laptop where it was and turned, nodding once to Dean as he began to lower himself to his knees. A firm grip on his shoulder halted his progress and Cas looked up, confused. “I thought…?” 

 

“These floors are hard, Cas. Here.” Dean looked around with his tongue pressed adorably between his teeth and grabbed a throw pillow from the couch that looked wide enough to support both of Cas’ knees. He set it down, patting the top to smooth it out and make it flatter. Cas blinked, his chest tight at this new but not unexpected evidence that Dean was too fucking good for him. 

 

When Dean stood, Cas knelt. He was slumped at first, but realized pretty quickly that he probably didn’t look very appealing like that - nor was it comfortable given the toy inside of him. Almost on autopilot, he straightened his back, tucked his hands behind him and lifted his chin. Dean’s sharp intake of breath told him that this, this was better. It felt better, too, although his face flushed. 

 

“Are you okay?” 

 

He closed his eyes at Dean’s voice, at the concern in Dean’s voice. He nodded once, fearing his words would fail him like they always did. Talking always got him in trouble. 

 

“I need to hear you, angel. Are you okay?” 

 

“I don’t know, Dean.” 

 

Cas was rewarded for his honesty by fingers carding in his hair. He sighed at the touch, leaning into it without realizing it. His heart rate was too fast, his breathing hitched and erratic. The touch was simultaneously comforting and a shock to his system, he wasn’t used to letting people near him when he was hurtling headfirst toward a panic attack. 

 

“You’re allowed to take breaks, Castiel.” The words were paced and measured, and Dean’s thumb was sweeping over his scalp. Cas’ thoughts followed its path and almost nothing else. 

 

“I told them…” 

 

“Yes, I know you did. We’ll drive into town later on until we get service, and you can send out another email letting them know there’s been an unforeseen change of plans and you’ll see them all in class on Wednesday.” 

 

More firm strokes through his hair, and when Cas didn’t answer right away, Dean closed his fist. It wasn’t rough, it was affirming - like Dean was putting a stamp on his words that made them absolute. 

 

“Okay, Dean.” 

 

“Breathe, Castiel.” 

 

He couldn’t, he still couldn’t. It was too late, the starting gun had already been fired and his nervous system was doing whatever the hell it wanted to. 

 

Dean tugged Cas’ head to the side and then back to the middle, and despite some initial objections, Cas became compliant. Over and over again, his body moved at Dean’s discretion, and his knowledge of the plug inside of him slipped further away from conscious thought. 

 

“You’re allowed to take a break. You’re allowed to want some time to yourself, you give everything to your students. Now breathe, Castiel. Follow me.” 

 

That voice, like honeyed whiskey. He caught the sound of Dean’s own soft intakes and harder exhales and latched onto them, willing his body to just… follow. 

 

It took too long, but eventually the sound of his own blood pumping through his veins quieted in his ears and his lungs no longer struggled to get air. 

 

“I’m breathing.” 

 

“I know, Castiel. You’re doing so good, you’re always so good. Keep going.” 

 

More insistent tugs caused the baby hairs on his body to stand up. He felt his neck crack from the constant back-and-forth, but it wasn’t painful - it was like twisting the cap on a soda bottle that had built up too much pressure. Soon, he was breathing on his own, opposite Dean’s. He’d chosen his own pace, because he was once again capable of doing it. 

 

The worst was over before it even began. His mouth opened slightly and he opened his eyes. Dean was looking at him not with revulsion or fear, but with open adoration. Like Cas had just given him the greatest gift of all. 

 

Cas’ entire body shuddered and when Dean lightly scratched the back of his head, Cas finally noticed how erotic the situation was... Cas on his knees spread open by a plug, completely at Dean’s mercy. He was vaguely aware that he was getting what he wanted, even if this wasn’t in the same universe of what he’d had in mind. 

 

Dean was good at that.

 

He realized his posture had slipped and made a point to straighten his back again, then slowly inched his legs apart as far as the pillow would allow without them sliding off. He leaned forward, testing Dean’s grip in his hair as the tip of his nose brushed against Dean’s crotch. 

 

“You want it, Cas?” 

 

He nodded, but Dean pulled him back by the hair. “Tell me what we’re going to do today.” 

 

His eyes fluttered closed again and he groaned quietly, tightening his grip around his own wrist behind his back. “Gonna go into town, tell my students I won’t be available.” 

 

“Good boy.” 

 

Maybe Cas wasn’t so bad. Dean wasn’t a liar, and if Dean said he was good… 

 

Cas hummed, his shoulders relaxing and his mind finally clearing. They’d fix it, together. Like they always did. All he had to do was let Dean help, let Dean… guide him. He swayed gently as Dean continued to work him into total compliance. 

 

He felt tired, like all the weight had been lifted from his chest and he could finally sleep. But he didn’t want to sleep, he wanted to give Dean back everything he’d just given Cas and more. But Dean had a plan, he always had a plan, so Cas waited. He nearly lost his balance when Dean led him a little too far right, but Dean’s other hand was there in a moment to brace him. 

 

Total control. Control that shouldn’t be possible from a standing position… 

 

Cas reluctantly opened his eyes and saw Dean eye level with him, his face serene and calm. “Hey, angel. You back with me now?” 

 

“...Hold on.” 

 

He took a moment to do a self-check. His limbs felt like they were in all the right places, his heart rate was steady, his breathing was normal. He didn’t feel flayed alive like he usually did during and after a panic attack. He felt… good. Relaxed. Like he was floating, almost. He became aware that something else felt good… but far from relaxed. His gaze drifted down to his crotch and he was tenting the track pants he’d been wearing for the drive. Cas let out an amused chuckle - just a staccatoed, surprised sound that was welcome to both of their ears. “Yes, Dean. I think all of me is back with you, now.” 

 

Dean’s hand left his hair and cupped the back of his neck, and he was pulled forward into a kiss. He was lucky beyond words to have someone like Dean, that could wrench him back from the brink with a few gentle movements and well-chosen words. He poured that sentiment into the kiss until Dean was the one struggling to breathe. 

 

“You wanted to come here so we didn’t have to hide, right?” 

 

Cas nodded quickly as he raised his stiff arms above his head to allow his shirt to slide off. “Yes, absolutely.” 

 

He was helped to his feet by a suddenly impatient Dean, but as soon as Cas was back in his arms, Dean slowed again. “You still dressed up for me, angel?” 

 

“I am.” Cas stepped back so Dean could get a better view as he worked his pants down, revealing Dean’s favorite red g-string. He turned after kicking his pants to the side, putting his ass on full display. The plug was visible between his round, delicious cheeks and Dean moaned quietly at the sight as he undressed himself behind him. 


“God, you’re beautiful. Come with me.” Dean stepped forward and took his hand, then led them both out to the front porch. The view was immaculate and for a moment, Cas couldn’t do anything but stare at the open expanse of the best nature had to offer. 

 

Dean’s hands slid down his body and teased the tight string around his waist, carefully pushing it down until he could get his fingertips around the outer edge of the plug. He guided it in further, causing Cas to gasp and grip the railing around the edge of the porch for support. “Dean, please don’t...” 

 

He couldn’t finish the damn sentence and Dean’s hands were off him at once. The space between them became tangible and cruel, and happened to be the exact opposite of what he wanted. “Fuck, that’s not -” he shuddered, reaching behind him with one open hand to search for Dean. “Meant don’t tease me, I need you.” 

 

The plug left his body with a quick stretch and release, and once again, Cas’ body trembled. His senses were somehow both sharpened and dulled - you couldn’t pay him enough to tell you what he was looking at off in the distance, but he was so acutely aware of every centimeter of contact between himself and Dean that he’d be able to pinpoint the spots on his body six months from now. 

 

He heard the snap of a lube cap that he hadn’t noticed Dean grab, and then the unmistakable sound of Dean stroking his wet, swollen cock. 

 

Dean didn’t seem to be done with what he’d started in the living room. “Do you want this, Castiel?” 

 

“Yes, Dean. Please.” 

 

“I’ll give it to you, angel. But you gotta wait a little bit longer for me, can you do that? You look so pretty like this, I want to commit this to memory.” 

 

He nodded once, flexing his grip on the railing as he took special care to present himself. He arched his back, spread his legs, and tipped his head toward the sky. He’d been in Dean’s position enough to know that this was less about the view and more about giving Castiel another opportunity to regain and maintain control of his own body, and he was so grateful for it he nearly wept. So, despite the way his muscles strained and quivered, he refrained from rocking back onto Dean’s fingers when they entered his greedy body. But it was a lot, maybe too much, and his breathing sped back up again. 

 

“Breathe, Castiel.” 

 

“Yes, Dean.” He emptied his mind, transferring his focus to the way the calloused pads of Dean’s fingers felt against his inner walls. They were sure and constant, like everything Dean did, and his lungs once again quit struggling. 

 

Cas was left empty for only a moment before Dean was guiding himself into him, inching in patiently, his hand rubbing steadying circles over his hip until Dean was fully seated. Cas leaned back against him, wrapping one arm behind him to grasp the back of Dean’s neck and the other clenched tightly around Dean’s hip for support. 

 

“You’re mine, angel. I’ve got you. Nothing else matters right now but this, you and me. Do you understand?” 

 

He cried out softly at the feeling of Dean’s teeth closing around his pulse point. “Yes, Dean. I understand.” 

 

“Good. There’s no one else but us, nothing else but this.” 

 

Dean thrust into him deeper and Cas remained still, allowing Dean to do whatever the hell he wanted to do with his body. At the first ghost of contact on his cock, Cas whimpered. He was brutally hard, and every single movement was gentle. Cas slipped further into his own mind until he truly believed what Dean had said - there was no one and nothing else but them. 

 

He turned his head to kiss Dean, his only real act of participation since they’d come to the cabin. The pressure increased around his cock and Dean grunted into his mouth as his hips snapped harder, and Cas knew he needed more. 

 

“Take it, Dean. Take me, make me yours.” 

 

Dean looked into Cas’ wide, desperate eyes for a moment and then seemed to come a little undone. The sound of Dean’s hips slapping against Cas’ ass echoed through the valley around them as Dean drove his cock almost violently into his already stretched hole. 

 

He loved every fucking second of it, and when he finally came, it was with one word on his lips: 

 

“Yours.” 

Chapter Text

Dean lagged a little behind Cas as they walked toward the house they were looking to buy. His steps were awkward, and more than once, his sort-of-husband turned around to look at him inquisitively. Cas was only his sort-of-husband because while there’d technically been a proposal (if telling someone you wanted to marry them while they licked a half a can of whipped cream off your cock counted, that is), they’d agreed that the whole ridiculous business of the ceremony, paperwork, and changing of the names just wasn’t their speed. They’d gotten each other rings, of course, and spent three straight days locked in Dean’s bedroom arguing about which one of them was better in bed. They’d called it even, though that was one fight Dean wouldn’t have minded losing and he’d thoroughly enjoyed it when they’d put that whole “a pancake ain’t done ‘til it’s been flipped on both sides” thing to the test. 

 

But, that was as far as it went. A proposal they’d never be able to tell their kids about and a couple of rings with no baggage. In Dean’s eyes, it was perfect. 

 

The next logical step seemed to be getting the hell out of their respective living situations. Charlie and Meg had hit it off so well that Dean no longer cared to be in his own apartment, and staying at Cas’ was… well, it was kinda awkward. Dean liked to think he was pretty open minded, but something about picking your sort-of-husband up for a date while there’s a threesome happening in the living room is just fuckin’ weird. Made even weirder by the fact that he used to join in on those. 

 

It had been just under a year since the quarantine officially ended and things went mostly back to normal. Those dark, unforgiving days scarred them all though, even now people kept their distance from each other and a lot of businesses never fully recovered. But overall, humanity bounced back in the way that it always does. Some charity here, a few hours volunteering over there… people gave back to each other until the world righted itself again. 

 

And everything would be picture-perfect in his world if he wasn’t so weirdly uncomfortable. Cas noticed another strained step that pronounced his bow legs and pulled him back when they reached the front door. “Dean, do you need to use the restroom or something?” 

 

He chuckled nervously, his face flushing despite his silent, desperate pleas for it not to. “Nah, this is just… new to me, y’know? That’s all, angel. I’m good.” It wasn’t a lie, but it also wasn’t the truth… he was just talking about something else entirely. Cas would find out soon enough, and for now, he seemed to accept his answer. 

 

They stepped over the threshold into their future home for the first time, and Dean immediately felt at ease. It was an open floor plan, with the living room opening up immediately to the left, a formal dining room on the right, and a wide hallway splitting them that led into the kitchen. The realtor they were meeting for the open house was already standing by the double oven (that’s twice as many pies!) and talking to a slightly younger couple about the benefits of having a water purifier built right into the sink. Cas had some kind of hate-on for plastic bottles, so his eyes lit up like a damn Christmas tree at the prospect of never needing to see another water bottle in his living space again. He smiled warmly at him and gazed out the large sliding-glass door that led from the kitchen into the backyard. There was an in-ground pool, a fire pit surrounded by cement stones that would be fan-fucking- tastic in the summertime, and a line of trees that wrapped all the way around the property protecting them from nosey ass neighbors. He leaned over toward Cas and jerked his thumb toward the pool. “Hey, imagine all the skinny-dippin’ we could do, huh?” 

 

Cas smiled as he rolled his eyes and began asking the usual, smart questions you should ask when purchasing a home, but it was basically gibberish to Dean. All he really needed was a place to eat, sleep, shit and shower and he’d be good. Hell, he’d live in a box under a bridge somewhere if Cas would stay with him. 

 

He was getting antsy though, the urge to walk around and touch things was almost overwhelming but he learned enough from his walk up the driveway to know that unnecessary movements were not his friend at that moment. 

 

A third couple joined them, and the realtor took them all upstairs to check out the bedrooms, the master bath and the storage space. There was a trapdoor that led to an attic, and Dean’s first thought was that it probably had awesome acoustics. 

 

Cas seemed impressed by what he saw, but Dean was finding it increasingly hard to focus on anything. His mind was getting fuzzy and more than once, he’d had to ask Cas to repeat his question. That earned him a stern look and pursed lips, but it was fine. Dean would be making it up to him and then some soon enough. 

 

They made their way through the rest of the upper floor, took a quick look in the attic, and then ventured back down to the main floor to check out the sunroom, dining room and garage. It was big enough for Baby and Cas’ ridiculous clunker that he refused to get rid of, and he’d still have room for his tools. 

 

The realtor’s voice broke through the daydream Dean had been having about his car. “If you’ll follow me, I can show you around the backyard.” 

 

Now, do it now. “Uh, ma’am? Do you mind if we head back upstairs? Cas here has a damn boatload of sweater-vests,” he reached over and very gently patted the front of the one Cas was wearing right then, “and I’m not quite sure that closet was big enough for the both of ‘em, if you know what I mean.” 

 

She took a moment to size Cas up, like nearly everyone else with eyes did. There was something incredibly… appealing about a guy with sex hair dressed up like a fuckin’ nerd so folks of all kinds stopped and stared. She shifted her weight on her feet and cleared her throat when she realized she’d been ogling him a little too long. “Yes, of course. You know where it’s at, and we’ll be right out through this door when you’re finished.” 

 

Dean smiled politely at her and took careful, measured steps toward the stairs. Cas followed, turning his gaze back at the group they were leaving behind. “Dean, I wanted to look at the backyard - I couldn’t see any sort of a garden, and I need to ma--”

 

“Make sure you’ve got a place for the bees, yeah, babe, I know.” He kissed Cas sweetly. “I promise, the second we… finish up here, we can go make sure you’ve got room to plant all the flowers you want, okay? Those bees won’t know what hit ‘em, they’ll think they died and went to honeycomb heaven.” 

 

Cas let out an exasperated sigh. “You have absolutely no grasp on the process of pollination and I have no idea why I married you.” 

 

They finally began heading up the stairs as Dean flashed a grin. “Ah, but Cas… you didn’t marry me. You just somehow managed to turn this into a permanent free trial.” He was excited now for what was about to happen, so he took the last couple of steps two at a time despite the… consequences. He glanced back down to the bottom floor to be sure they weren’t followed and ducked back into the master bedroom, closing the door after Cas followed. 

 

He turned, now entirely unsure how to go about it. Cas tilted his head like he’d caught Dean in some kind of a trap, and the scales tipped immediately in his favor. That’s all it ever took anymore… one faulty move and the power was firmly back with Cas. 

 

“Did you bring me up here to test out the mattress, Dean? I assumed we’d be bringing our own, but…” Cas slowly undid his belt and slipped his khakis down to the middle of his broad thighs. “I did dress up for you a little, just in case.” 

 

Dean eyed the red thong that sparked a thousand Professor Cas fantasies and slowly licked his lips, nodding as he worked to rid himself of his own pants. “Yeah, I know. I saw you put them on this morning.”

 

Hah! Cas’ eyes narrowed briefly in confusion, and just like that, Dean was back on track. 

 

“You’re not the only one that dressed up, Castiel.” His jeans dropped down to reveal a pair of perfectly normal boxer briefs, which definitely outlined the thick mass of Dean’s rapidly growing erection. This just seemed to further confuse Cas, so Dean turned around and placed both of his palms flat on the wall. “Go ahead, angel. Cop a feel, take a peek, but be quick about it. We don’t have all damn day.” 

 

He wiggled his ass when Cas didn’t move right away and groaned, immediately wishing he wouldn’t have. But a few moments later, Cas’ hands were gripping and squeezing his cheeks, causing his breath to hitch in his chest and a moan to escape a moment later.

 

Cas froze, not even near the good part yet. “Dean Winchester, are you wearing a…” 

 

“Damnit, Cas, just pull my damn shorts down and see for yourself!” Knowing what was coming was driving him crazy, and the constant stimulation every time he moved was maddeningly amazing but not even close to the real thing. He felt Cas’ nails lightly scratch his skin as he hastened to move the boxer briefs out of his way. 

 

The gasp Dean heard behind him was absolutely worth it. Cas’ warm hand split him open and closed around the plug, but instead of pulling it out, he drove it deeper into Dean. “You prepped yourself for me, Dean?” 

 

His cheek hit the wall and he nodded against it. “Yeah, I did. What are you gonna do about it, Cas?” 

 

He heard Cas hum, a low and dangerous sound that promised both pleasure and frustration. Cas worked the plug inside of him, swirling it around and pulling it nearly completely out before sliding it back in, and Dean’s knees nearly packed their bags and gave up. He tried to stay quiet, panting a little as he bit down on his own shoulder. 

 

Cas’ other hand brushed along his body until it was wrapped tight around Dean’s cock. He realized a second too late that Cas wasn’t planning on fucking him at all, but he couldn’t even get the words out to beg even if that was something Dean Winchester did. 

 

Which, it wasn’t… ever. Until Cas. 

 

“I want you to come for me, Dean. Right here, in our future bedroom. We don’t have enough time for me to properly enjoy you the way that I’d like to, so for now I’ll settle for this. But you should know that when we’re out of here, I’m going to fuck you until the neighbors know my name.” 

 

Over and over, Cas fucked him with that plug as his hand worked goddamn miracles on his cock. Dean was panting and whining and trying to lean in to every touch, his nails digging into the wall so hard he chipped the fresh paint. “Fuck, why does that feel so fucking good?”  

 

Cas kissed the back of his neck so gently in comparison to what his hands were doing that it sent a jolt through Dean’s body and he knew he was seconds away from coming. “Cas, I - ahhh, fuck-”

 

Abruptly, the plug stopped shifting inside of him. Cas pressed their bodies together as his hand left Dean’s pliant ass and stretched Dean’s boxer briefs up over his throbbing cock. 

 

“Be a good boy for me, Dean. Be nice and quiet for me when you come and I’ll come up with an excuse for us to leave, you’re so beautiful like this I won’t be able to wait much longer.” Cas’ voice was thick and low as he jerked him almost violently, but damnit if that wasn’t exactly the way Dean liked it. 

 

“But Ca-as,” he moaned, trying to hold off as long as he could. “What about the bees?” 

 

Dean could feel Cas’ length pressing against his ass as he crowded him further. “While I appreciate your newfound concern for the environment, right now you should be concerned with giving me what I want.” 

 

A handful of glorious strokes later, Dean was nearly choking on his tongue as he came. His release soaked his boxer briefs, which were almost instantly snug around his waist again to make sure nothing spilled out. Cas whispered praises Dean’s brain couldn’t quite make out as he felt his jeans return to their normal position. He turned, kissing Cas deeply and wishing he’d have just waited until they were home - Cas was tenting the hell out of those khakis and Dean wanted that inside of him now. 

 

Cas chuckled against his lips and smacked his ass, causing Dean to yelp as the tip of the plug pressed directly against his prostate. He reached down to straighten his jeans which caused the wet fabric to graze across his spent cock and he twitched, exhaling hard at the feeling. It was fucking dirty, and he loved it. 

 

Someone cleared their throat as Cas was fixing one of his buttons. Dean turned to see the realtor standing in the doorway, her face a deep shade of crimson as she glanced back and forth between them. “How did you… find the… closets?” 

 

Dean didn’t have it in him to be embarrassed. That orgasm just skyrocketed onto his top 10 list, and he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that it would have some serious competition within the hour. He looked at Cas and tilted his head a little. “Eh, not quite what I was lookin’ for, if I’m bein’ honest... but I’ve got no complaints.” 

 

Cas laughed, and the sound echoed through the room until Dean felt like he was surrounded by it. It filled empty spaces inside of him that he hadn’t thought would ever be whole again. 

 

Yeah, this was definitely gonna be their home. 

 

“I think we’ll take it.” 

Chapter Text

“Would you hurry up? They’re going to be here any minute!” Cas yelled up the stairs. Dean was taking forever in the shower… it was bad enough they’d taken theirs separately, but now Cas actually felt like he might be missing out on something. 

 

A second later, Dean’s adorably flushed face and mussed, wet hair poked around the corner. “Wait, it’s time already? Shit.” 

 

“Yes, Dean. It’s after 7 already, and every single one of them is late.” He huffed, annoyed all over again that he didn’t take Dean’s advice and tell everyone the party started at 6 instead of 7. It was their first get-together in Cas and Dean’s new house, the least those bastards could do was be punctual. 

 

He strode back to the kitchen to make sure everything was perfect. He’d made two pies - Dean had politely reminded him that they bought a house with a double oven for a reason - some buffalo chicken dip and some other miscellaneous finger foods for the occasion. Cas noticed a drop of ranch on the counter and hurried to wipe it up right as the doorbell sounded. 

 

If he thought Dean would be ready enough to answer, he was wrong. Cas tossed the paper towel away and prayed that the first guest was Benny or Meg, but... as things normally go for Cas, he was wrong. 

 

Sam Winchester wrapped him into a hug so tight his nose and mouth were pressed painfully into the giant’s shoulder. He did his best to hug him back, angling his head so he could breathe. “No one should be this tall, it’s an abomination.” 

 

Sam quickly pulled away. “Crap, I’m sorry, Cas.” 

 

He shook his head. “Sam, how many times do I need to tell you that you don’t need to apologize? I’m doing much better with it - especially once I’m comfortable enough with someone to be prepared for how they touch me. And since you live three houses down from us, I can say with certainty that I’m very prepared for you being abundantly over-affectionate.” He smiled softly at Sam, his words having no bite to them. As a matter of fact, Sam being the way he was had helped Cas immensely. It was as if the Winchesters were sent to help him regain his wings after a fall from grace he still didn’t quite understand, even after roughly a year in therapy. 

 

The smile he received in response was contagious, it was a little bit like watching a puppy get excited over a new chew toy. But, that was Sam. They’d made fast friends picking on Dean, and they’d been in an almost relentless prank/insult war with each other since the moment they first met. 

 

Sam and his girlfriend Jess made themselves at home like they always did, and soon enough the living room was full. Benny, Gad and Cole were sprawled out on top of each other on the couch, while Meg and Charlie were cornering Balt and grilling him about his latest conquest, who happened to be standing right next to him looking like he’d accidentally walked into a brothel instead of a church. 

 

A full forty-five minutes late, Dean finally came downstairs. Cas narrowed his eyes in accusation at the love of his life for leaving him to deal with all of this alone, but when Dean walked over and kissed him, he sort of forgot to be cross. “Took you long enough.”

 

Dean nodded. “Yeah, sorry I’m late. I didn’t wanna come.” 

 

“Hah! Guess there’s a first time for everythin’, huh, cher?” Benny asked with a smirk, and Dean laughed from deep in his belly. 

 

Cas saw an opportunity for revenge. “Actually, Benny, Dean’s become quite fond of orgasm denial. Haven’t you?” Dean blushed so deeply and beautifully that it would have been enough of a reward by itself, but then Sam punched Dean in the shoulder as if he was the one that brought it up.

“Ugh, gross, jerk!”

 

Dean rubbed his shoulder and messed up Sam’s hair. “Ah, shut up, bitch. It ain’t like we’re gonna do it in front of you, relax.” 

 

Cas raised a single, challenging eyebrow at Dean, whose expression immediately went slack. “Now who’s the one that needs to relax?” He asked playfully, and Dean muttered an embarrassed jesus christ before heading for the back door. 

 

“I’m gonna go start the fire, you people are outta your damn minds.” The door shut behind Dean, and Cas turned back to the others with a triumphant but small smile. 

 

Gad extricated himself from Benny and Cole and followed Dean out, and Cas figured it was time they all did. It was like trying to wrangle a bunch of monkeys that had been given cocaine, but eventually, he succeeded in getting everyone out into the backyard. The girls helped him carry the food and Balt’s conquest grabbed the cooler. 

 

Dean and Gad were already talking as Cas approached them and reached out to take Dean’s hand. “So, what, you just… let it happen?” 

 

“Yes,” Gad said. “Of course I do.” 

 

Cas looked between them as he attempted to work out what they were talking about. Dean continued, “Do you think he still loves you?” 

 

Gadreel was looking at Dean like he’d asked him if he believed the sky was blue, or something equally as obvious to anyone with sight. “Why on Earth would Cole loving Benny mean that he loves me any less?” 

 

Ah. Cas was all caught up now. “Gad, I think what my very pretty sort-of-husband is trying to say is that he doesn’t understand the concept of polyamory but he’s very, very happy that the three of you have finally stopped beating around the very neatly-trimmed bushes.” He looked at Dean and smiled. “Right?” 

 

Dean nodded. “Yeah, fuck yeah. Don’t be gettin’ any ideas though, Cas. Just because it works for those three doesn’t mean it’d work for us.” 

 

Cas pondered that for a moment and then kissed Dean lightly on the cheek. “No need to worry about that. This isn’t Ohio, I wouldn’t be able to legally get away with the throuple I’d want.” 

 

He absolutely savored the minute changes on Dean’s face as he worked out what Cas was talking about. When he finally realized it, Dean gagged. “Ah, fuck, Cas. Seriously? My brother?! And wait a minute, I thought that was Alabama?” 

 

“No, that’s a common - and frankly, cruel - misconception. Incest is entirely illegal in Alabama, but in Ohio, it’s acceptable provided that one is not a parental figure to the other.” Cas nodded matter-of-factly, and Gad abruptly took his leave. 

 

“Christ, even when you’re talkin’ about gross shit, it’s still hotter than hell when you go all Professor Novak on me.” Dean kissed him deeply, ignoring the empty beer can that Charlie threw at him. 

 

He wouldn’t be Cas if he didn’t seize this gift-wrapped opportunity. “Of course, we still wouldn’t be able to pull it off, even in Ohio.” 

 

Dean looked both confused and grossed out all over again, and then realization dawned on his face and he rolled his eyes heavily. “Cas, I swear to fuck if you say somethin’ about you bein’ my daddy I’m gonna kill you.” 

 

Cas’ grin split his face. “‘Cause I’m your daddy, Dean.” 

 

“For fuck’s sake.” Dean pulled away from him with a shudder and Cas happily took a beer when Balt offered it. 

 

“You’re truly horrible to him, you must know that,” Balt said. 

 

He sighed dramatically. “Yes, I know. It’s tough, but if I wasn’t so horrible to him, the love I have for him would put me in its mouth and swallow me whole.” 

 

That earned a laugh, as if it was some sort of a joke. He’d intended it to be, but the truth of it couldn’t be denied. As Cas watched him smile and laugh with Charlie, Meg and Sam, he felt that strange, almost electrically charged fuzz in his chest that so often happened when Dean was near. All of his comments about wanting Sam aside, Cas was completely, totally content with never fucking or kissing or touching another human being for the rest of his life. 

 

Dean disappeared into the house as the sun set fully, and Cas made friendly conversation with Benny and Cole as everyone around them ate. He was busy watching the stars begin to show themselves when Dean came back out, knocking lightly on the back of his guitar to get everyone’s attention. It took a few moments, but eventually Sam reached over and clamped a hand over Meg’s mouth to shut her up, and everyone’s eyes fixed on Dean. 

 

“Hey, uh… I wanna thank you guys for comin’ out tonight. This was a big step for me and Cas, and honestly, we couldn’t be more fuckin’ grateful to have you dipshits around. I’m sorry that for most of us, it pretty much took an apocalypse to bring us together, but I wouldn’t trade any of you for the best damn pie in the world.” 

 

“Liar.” 

 

“Lies!”

 

“Bull-fuckin’-shit, brotha, you’d sell me for a double-cheeseburger.” 

 

The dissent came from all around, but Dean soldiered on after briefly flipping each and every one of them the bird. “Anyway, point is… I’m glad you assholes are here, because I wrote a little song for Cas. It was supposed to be to commemorate him surviving the first of many years with my stupid ass, but we didn’t get the papers signed in time and I wanted you guys to be here in case he hated it. I figure at least one of you easily-pleased meatheads will clap, and if not, I’ve always got Charles.” 

 

“That’s right, bitches!” Charlie grinned at Dean and added, “Now quit yapping and play the stinkin’ song!”  

 

Cole overlapped her. “Yeah, calling us assholes is a real good way to get applause, Deano.” 

 

Cas tilted his head. “Dean, you rescheduled this party twice, we signed the papers the day before our anniversary.” 

 

The poor guy looked exasperated. “Alright fine, I was late gettin’ it done ‘cause creativity like this takes time, okay? Blow me.”

 

“Maybe later, if the song is up to par.” He was joking, of course. No amount of shitty song-writing in the world could stop Cas from sucking Dean’s cock, but Dean always worked better under pressure. 

 

He listened closely, watching Dean across the gorgeous flames as he began an unfamiliar, upbeat tune.

 

“I’ve seen you in the light 

Your dark hair all a mess

As you remove that sweater vest

And you’re so… fine

Your eyes brighten the night 

And you know, even when we fight 

That you’re still mine.” 

 

Dean’s fingers picked at the strings as Cas snorted, his nose wrinkling from the silliness of it. But the song shifted then, becoming slower and a little... sadder sounding. 

 

“I’ve seen you in the dark

When the world becomes too much 

And you just can’t stand to touch

You pull on through 

And even if your heart gets cold,

I’ll take the weight right on my shoulders

I will always be right next to you,

I’m so proud of you…”

 

He started humming, and Cas fought the tears threatening to escape. Here was a man that truly knew him, that lived through his worst days and never once flinched. Dean had stood by his side through it all, and Cas had never felt luckier in his entire life.

 

“And I’ll carry you through the darkness

Carry you through, carry you through

Carry you through the darkness

Just us two, me and you…

Carry you through…”

 

By the end, Dean was plucking single strings and his voice was so soft it was nearly lost to the crackling of the fire. It was perfect, just like Dean himself. Cas stood, grateful to their friends for not being assholes about it and walked over to pull Dean into a kiss. “I love you, you giant, sappy cheeseball.” 

 

Dean gently set his guitar down and wrapped Cas in a hug. “I love you, too, even if you do wanna fuck my brother.” 

 

A strangled, half-chuckled sob came out of Cas and he stepped back, smacking Dean lightly. “Stop it, you know there’s only one cock for me these days, and it’s attached to you, not your brother. Although, I’m curious… who’s bigger?” 

 

Sam piped up. “I’ve got three inches on him. And I’m taller.” Jess nudged Sam and he laughed loudly, leaning over to kiss her but she pulled away from him with a playful squeal. 

 

The conversations picked up around them again and Cas pulled Dean back inside of the house. “I don’t believe that for a second, by the way. If he truly had three inches on you, he’d be hunchbacked from carrying it around.” 

 

“You’re goddamn right it ain’t true.” Dean made his way over to the fridge and came back with two beers. “Want another one?”

 

Cas took it and cracked it open. “Is that why you were so late tonight? The song?” 

 

Dean nodded. “Yeah, I was afraid I was gonna forget some of the words or fuck up the chords, I couldn’t exactly practice when you were around.” Cas just smiled, then pulled Dean close to him and looked out the sliding glass door. 

 

Their friends were all still gathered by the fire except for Cole, who was currently diving headfirst into the swimming pool despite the sign that clearly told him not to. They’d had to put the warning up after Benny found out the hard way that he wasn’t physically capable of diving. He’d tried, but ended up belly flopping so hard it stunned him and Gad had to jump in to save him. He probably didn’t even need saving in the first place, but… as such, Cas had purchased a No Diving! sign and Dean had promptly spray painted OR ELSE! across the bottom. 

 

He rested his head against Dean’s shoulder and sighed. “We’re surrounded by idiots, you know that, right?” 

 

Dean chuckled softly as he wrapped his arm around Cas’ waist. “Yeah, but they’re our idiots. It’s like having nine kids, only we get to send them home when they irritate us.” 

 

Cas hummed quietly and watched through the door as Sam dumped a cup full of ice onto Balthazar’s head. Dean spoke again, “Bet you wish you’d have had the option to send us all home a year ago, huh?” 

 

He contemplated that for a moment and then shook his head, the scruff on his jaw rubbing against the soft fabric of Dean’s shirt. “Maybe some of them, but you? If I’d have known then what I know now, I’d have told them to lock us up and throw away the key.” 

 

As they stood there together, surrounded by love and warmth... it felt a little bit like coming to the end of an incredibly long journey. But Cas knew better. 

 

This? This was just the beginning.