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Hol mich ins Sternenreich

Chapter 3: Dort wo die Sterne waren

Summary:

Richard is sensitive, the boys take a shower together, and a costume accessory finds a better purpose

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

   The next time it happened it was much less dramatic. They were, again, backstage after a show. In his peripheral vision Schneider vaguely noted Till tapping Richard on the shoulder, but his attention wandered as his brain started coming down off it’s stage high. He always hated this, the adrenaline crash: he might not experience it as intensely as some of the others, but all the same he hated losing that moment of feeling, knowing, he was alive. He still had yet to find a way to combat it, though he had to admit he had come close recently. Once, at least.

   After a while, Richard made his way over to Schneider's side, where he had been mostly chugging water and standing staring into the aether for the past few minutes. He turned to look at Richard as he approached. His mouth twisted in displeasure for a second, so more than likely he had caught him in the act of trying to spook him. Schneider smirked at him and nervous smile quickly took it’s place.

   ‘Hey, Schneider, sooo we’re skipping tonight and, uhh… are you free for a while?’ he looked back at Till before returning Schneider's eye contact, ‘We thought maybe you’d be interested but you can say no, that's fine, maybe you changed your mind or just actually hated it or, I just thought maybe it'd be nice, you know? But you’re pr—’ Schneider held a hand up to stop the barrage of stumbling words, worried that he was talking himself out of the conversation before it even started.

   ‘You mean, for what we did that time Till freaked out?’ He glanced around to place the other guys, but kept it vague regardless.

   ‘Well… yeah, kind of, he’s not upset this time, we’re just both exhausted, but we just… you seemed like you enjoyed it, maybe a bit of stress relief for everyone, I don’t know how well I can cope tonight,’ he was interrupted by a long yawn, ‘Unless you’re, err, going to the after party? Have other plans?’ Richard nudged Schneider’s arm, a bad attempt at masking his discomfort. Schneider just stared back impassively, mind already shifting tracks.

   He hadn’t been obsessed with the idea or anything, but he had certainly been entertaining it more and more, particularly when the flames got too hot and all he wanted to do was collapse or spear the pyro guys with a well-aimed drumstick. He’d call the idea energising if he didn’t think doing so was pretentious. He hadn’t wanted to just barge in and ask, wasn’t sure of the rules surrounding their… what were they, play sessions? He didn’t even know what to call them, for fucks sake. He felt lucky that Richard had invited him again instead.

 

   He made his way over to Till with outward confidence and inward trepidation: he hoped he would be able to relax him, but he was new to this and didn't want to overstep. He certainly didn’t want a repeat of the mistakes he made last time. He settled on placing his hand on Till’s lower back, guiding him away from earshot of the others.

   ‘Would you like to try this with me again tonight?’ Till smiled, nodded.

   ‘Okay, nice. Your room?’ Again, a small nod, but followed with a firm shake of his head. He made a sign Schneider already knew: a pointed hand, fingers touching, held by the mouth. Food.

   ‘You’re hungry?’ Till smiled and nodded.

   Schneider lead Till towards the communal room where they had a few snacks waiting, hand still firmly on his back, and felt a warm swell of accomplishment as Till seemed to lean into his side. Schneider turned to Richard, who was flagging behind and chipping away at the varnish on his nails. He mouthed, YOU OKAY?, and got a curt nod in return. He wasn’t convinced, but he supposed he could try and get it out of him later.

***

   Their food selection wasn’t great, they never bothered much about what they ate after a show, but Till seemed happy enough to stick to chunks of jerky and a couple of muffins—one double chocolate and one lemon poppyseed because, of course, he was still Till— from the basket someone had apparently left as a gift. He filled up a plate with this odd meal and then seemed to hesitate. Before Schneider could ask what was wrong, Richard was back at his side.

   ‘Give him a second, he’s still settling down.’ His words were muffled by a mouthful of a sandwich he had procured from somewhere, despite there being none in the room.

   ‘Didn’t think to get me one, since i’m obviously busy?’ Richard just shrugged and took another bite

   Schneider, stomach suddenly kicked into gear and wanting to push a little, swiped the other half from his plate while he was focused on chewing. He couldn’t tell what was in it, but he didn’t particularly care. Richard opened his mouth to complain, but for once Schneider was too quick for him: He narrowed his eyes and licked a long stripe across the length of the sandwich, knowing that, unlike with Till, spit would be a highly effective Richard-deterrant.

   Richard stared at him for a moment before turning pointedly away. He tapped Till’s shoulder and raised his eyebrow in question. Till gazed down at his boots, huffed, and signed something Schneider didn’t understand. He wracked his brain but determined he just hadn’t learned any of them yet. It seemed likely that Till did that on purpose, and Schneider’s brow creased without his consent. Till glanced at him and turned back around. Confused, Schneider turned to Richard, who was stifling a laugh in the back of his sleeve.

   ‘I’ve never seen you concentrate that hard in my life! I’ll have to get you a DVD or something.’ He swallowed before leaning in close to his ear, ‘He’s a puppy, remember? He wants to eat it on the floor.’

   ‘Well he’s not doing it in here.’ He realised straight away that he’d said it too loudly. Oli, who he finally registered had been leaning up against the far wall the entire time, gave him a look and pushed himself up off the wall, shoving the remains of whatever snack he’d had been nibbling when they’d interrupted his peace and quiet into his mouth.

   Schneider cleared his throat and said, ‘So. Tills room?’

***

   Till’s room, thankfully, was empty. He unceremoniously set the plate down on the floor a couple of paces from the desk and perched himself on the wooden stool. He wondered why Till, usually voracious in his appetites, wasn’t eating.

   ‘How badly trained do you think he is, Schneider?’ he looked over to Richard, currently occupied with the laces of his boots.

   ‘Oh? … Oh. Hey, Till?’ He looked up to meet Schneider’s eye for a second before lowering them again. ‘You can start, pet, you must have worked up such a hunger tonight.’

   Schneider watched intently as Till began wolfing down his meal, bent to rest on his knees and forearms. It shouldn’t have been surprising, really, that he could still be so precise, even tidy, but still, he was fascinated watching his friend choke down chunks of meat and muffin like he wasn’t even chewing.

   Actually, that could be a problem

   ‘Hey,’ Till looked up at him, crumbs of his muffin speckling his face like freckles, ‘Slow down for me, pet, I don’t want you choking.’

   Till nodded and did as he was told.

   ‘You’re a very good boy, you know that?’ He didn’t stop again to answer, but he wiggled happily as he finished his meal.

 

   When his plate was completely empty Till nosed it closer to Schneider’s feet and sat back as if waiting for something. Schneider looked to Richard, who raised his eyebrows and gestured towards Till, urging him to do something. He picked up the plate and examined it: It would have been sparkling if it wasn’t paper, it was so clean. Nothing so much as a crumb could be found anywhere besides, still, all over his face. As cute as it was, Schneider decided he should brush them off onto the plate so as to avoid getting their things any dirtier than they already were.

   ‘Very good, pup, was that nice?’

    Yes, thank you

   He patted Till’s shoulder as he rose from his chair to bin the plate. Richard took the opportunity to call Till over to the couch.

***

   When he had sat down, removed his shoes, and settled Till on a cushion on the floor, aware that his bad knee had been acting up, Schneider assessed their surroundings properly. The room was even smaller than last time, and almost as grubby, but instead of crowding into a single room they had managed to score one per pair. This one was technically Till and Flake’s, but given his costume was already folded over the back of a chair he doubted they’d be disturbed. Luck saw Schneider and Richard sharing their room, so no awkward questions there. There were already bottles of water and cheap lager on the far-side table, courtesy of the venue and hopefully please, just this once unopened.

   Richard slumped onto the other end of the couch looking suddenly bone-tired. Schneider made the executive decision to pull him over for a hug, something which usually perked the little sea urchin up. He guided his head against his shoulder and started to smooth the ungelled hair on the nape of his neck with his thumb. His fingers traced circles on the stubbled skin of his jawline absent-mindedly, and Richard melted into him in subtle increments.

   Till gave a disgruntled whine, pawing at his leg to get his attention. He had naturally sad eyes as it was, and enhanced it every night with his makeup, but that was nothing compared to the dejection being wielded against him now. Schneider worked the fingers of his other hand into Till’s hair; it was damp and an odd kind of clean-greasy, but he didn’t mind.

   He did, however, regret the size of the little couch, wishing instead for a few blankets and pillows on the floor. Till didn’t seem too bothered, though, judging by the gentle upturn of his mouth. He was almost falling asleep kneeling upright, chin dipping for a moment before he jerked back into some semblance of wakefulness.

   A thought occurred to him: ‘Richard?’ he waited for some sign of conscious recognition before continuing, ‘Does Till have any collars?’

   ‘Oh, no, we uh… were worried it’d arouse suspicion, you know? You guys, or someone else, seeing him in a collar he wasn’t wearing earlier?’

   ‘And I suppose he couldn't wear one around or on stage because then it would be too distracting...’

   ‘Yeah, exactly. It’s a shame, I think it’d help, he struggles getting into puppy space sometimes, and he does suit them.’

   Without giving much time to think himself out of it, Schneider reached up to his own neck and unbuckled the spiked collar still clinging, damp as it was with sweat, to his throat. He dangled it in front of Richard’s face, ‘What do you think? It’d just be temporary, but this way it’d be hard to forget, easy to excuse and maybe help with the head space. For him and for me.’

   Richard sat up to look at him, ‘You want this to be a regular thing?’

   ‘Yes, I think so. If you two would like that, of course.’

   ‘I mean, if Till is happy and you won’t try to push me out and take over completely then sure, it’s a clever idea. For you, at least.’ Richard tried for a wry smile and missed.

   ‘What?’

   His face fell, ‘I’m sorry, the clever thing was a joke I didn’t think—‘ Schneider pressed his fingers against his mouth to shut him up.

   ‘The first part, pushing you out? What do you mean?’

   ‘Oh, you know… as long as I still get to be here with you guys and join in and everything then I’m okay with him wearing your collar. I just,’ he looked over to Till, who didn’t seem to be paying attention, and finished his sentence under his breath, ‘When he starts preferring you I don’t want to be shut out, that’s all.’ He picked at his cuticles, hissing as a spot of blood bloomed at the base of a nail.

   Schneider yanked Richard fully upright so he could look into his eyes, a hand cupping his face so he couldn’t move away. He hoped the pale blue was piercing.

   ‘Never. I wouldn’t do that to you, Richard, that would never happen. Do you understand?’ Richard hesitated a moment too long, as if stunned by the sudden outrage in Schneider’s voice. He felt his voice harden and cool like molten metal and tried again.

   ‘Richard. Do. You. Understand?’ This time he nodded, eyes wide but not moving away. ‘You belong here. If you need me to leave I can leave, and it’s not like you can’t still do this without me too, but I don’t want you going anywhere. Besides, you’re his closest friend and you’ve been doing this for a long time, he wouldn’t let you even if you tried.’

   Tears hovered at the waterline of Richard’s eyes. He sniffed, nodded, and let Schneider drag him back down into the warmth of his lap, where he lay breathing unevenly, clearly trying to stifle his crying. Till finally noticed and looked to Schneider for permission, Help?

   He assented, so Till scooted in between Schneider’s knees and simply rested his forehead against Richard’s as if, in doing so, he was drawing out some of his pain. With the connection they had he wouldn’t be all that surprised if he really could. Schneider stroked firmly down Richard’s side until his breathing calmed. Till dropped a tiny kiss on the corner of his mouth and went back to the position Schneider had put him in.

   ‘I’m sorry,’ Richard started, voice thick but steady, ‘I guess I was more worried about that than I thought? It’s just… You’re so good with him and it took me weeks and weeks to get used to it and here you are, second time, nailing it!’

   ‘Richard, do you really think he would be this calm and obedient if you weren’t here? If it was just him and me?’

   Richard blew a long, slow breath, ‘I guess not.’

   ‘Exactly. You did the ground work, you learned by trial and error what works and what doesn’t, and you passed that information over to me. If it’s going well it’s because of your guidance.’

   Richard only cuddled in tighter.

   They let the moment pass, Richard silently counting his fingertips like he did when he was lost in thought.

***

   ‘You know,’ Richard began, breaking the quiet a few minutes later, ‘you’re handling all of this really well.’

   Schneider smiled, though he couldn’t see him, ‘We’ve done weirder things, if you think about it. Besides, Aljoscha and Flake were much harder to deal with when they were drunk and “coping”, back in the day. And with you, the drugs… Trying to help you hurt, it was terrifying. Till wanting to shut off and be looked after is nothing. Not even that, it’s probably healthy?’

   Richard shifted, likely not eager to be reminded of the worst days of his addiction. He didn’t blame him: Richard, thankfully, didn’t remember the majority of it with any real clarity, but everyone else did. He had nearly died, and Schneider knew he wasn’t keen on reminding anyone of that fact. ‘That explains why you aren’t freaking out on us, but sometimes it feels like you like it. I thought you were just being a good friend last time but...’

   He reached across Richard to grab two of the beers from the table, using the time to consider his answer. He opened both and offered one to Till, who just shook his head. He handed it to Richard instead, who sat up and took a long, grateful swig before wincing. Schneider sipped his: it was warm and cheap, and he had to struggle to swallow it. They looked at each other, shrugged, and chugged the rest in one go.

   Richard reached for another two, and Schneider took the opportunity to answer while his back was turned, ‘I love my friends and want to be able to help them, all of you, when I can.’ His hand, still in place, squeezed Richard’s hip, ‘Besides, you know I've always liked dogs…’

  ‘And control, as much as we all blame me for what happened.’ Richard said it with a laugh, but Schneider saw Till’s brow furrowing and felt his own do the same.

   ‘Nobody was faultless, Richard.’ He pulled him firmly back against his side.



   Another few minutes passed. A thought occurred to him.

   ‘Hey wait, so in the Mein Teil video—’

   Richard snorted, ‘Don’t worry about it, he’s had enough practice, we made sure he wouldn't shut down, and Zoran doesn’t know. Coincidence. Pretty funny though, huh? Maybe we should get you a wig, might help you get into the role better!’ Richard barked a laugh as Schneider gave him a playful slap on the thigh.

   Till jumped, surprised by the noise, and surprised Schneider right back by reaching over and digging his fingers into Richard’s side, grinning as he squirmed and kicked. He sat back, eyes wide, when he realised Schneider saw and hadn’t given him permission, but Schneider just winked and tickled Richard until they were all giggling so hard he was worried they’d use up all the oxygen.

***

   They didn’t have any watches on them, but at least an hour must have passed. The room was getting chilly, or at least he was, despite having a sizeable man half in his lap. Richard had occupied the both of them with racing chatter about his new equipment, nothing important but, surprisingly, Schneider didn’t mind. Till rocked side to side, knee to knee, seemingly without realising. He didn’t think he was even listening at that point, instead content to drift into a familiar, mindless calm. Only then, as he watched Till with fascination, did he remember the collar in his right hand.

   ‘Till, Liebling?’ He said, tapping his thigh with the side of his foot when he didn’t get a response.

   Till jolted himself out of his stupor to look up at Schneider, Richard, and the collar in turn.

   ‘What do you think about wearing this for us?

   His eyebrows shot up as he nodded so vigorously his teeth clacked together. Good! he signed.

   Schneider tried to wipe some of the gunk off on Richard’s shirt without him noticing, but Richard lurched up out of Schneider’s lap with a displeased grunt, ‘We should get his make-up off first, let’s not get it,’ he looked at it sceptically, ‘any grosser than it is.’ Schneider shot him a withering look, which Richard dutifully ignored, instead bending down to whisper in Till’s ear. Till signed something Schneider again didn’t recognise, and in sync they both turned to look at him.

   Well that’s not at all disturbing

   Richard plucked the bottle from Schneider’s fingers and passed it down to Till, ‘Go put all the empty bottles in the bin for us, Schatz.’ Till’s knee crunched as he straightened, but otherwise he was silent as he carried out his task.

   ‘So, Till would like a shower but he, uh,’ Richard’s head tilted to the side, ‘needs some help to do it. He would like for you to come, but we don’t want to push you...’

   Schneider froze, but only for a moment.

   ‘Yea, okay. Uh. Let’s just grab a change of clothes and we can go now, nobody else will be in there, I don’t think. You’re cleanest, you should get them. Toiletries too, please.’ He said, reaching to unzip Till’s own bag of street clothes.



   Richard returned a couple of minutes later with their things, but Schneider was still hunting for Till’s,

   Apparently he’ll just have to go commando for a night.

   A few puddles of water trailing from the shower to Oli and Paul’s room told them that, as expected, Oli and Flake had both already had their showers, but the absence of actual footprints suggested that Paul had not. Hopefully they had time.



   Once they were in the relative privacy of the shower room, Schneider panicked. Or, more accurately, Schneider turned towards the shower controls and fought to push down the bubble of nervous laughter threatening to spoil the mood. It was ridiculous, it’s not like any of them were shy, or had never seen each other naked, but this was bound to be intimate and he wasn’t quite sure how to process that just yet. Despite how it felt, he was very new to all of this, and he wanted more than anything in that moment to get it right. The boys seemed preoccupied with removing Till from his costume, so he spent a couple of moments trying to ground himself, taking some deep breaths and trying to slow his heart.

    How can I possibly pull this shit off when my hands are trembling ?

   Still, he couldn’t deny that it was helping, at least enough to let him get on with it. He turned the water on to heat up and then himself back to the other men as if he did this every day.

   ‘Okay, how do you want to do this?’

   Richard seemed to sense his nerves,‘It’s nothing complicated, he needs help with his hair, mostly. It’s a big shower so all of us will fit.’ He made sure to catch his eye, lowering his voice, ‘Everything will be fine, you’re doing great.’

   He decided to trust him.

   Schneider stripped off and set his costume out on top of the others’. Richard had already started going through their clean clothes, sorting them into piles, so Schneider grabbed a few bottles and some washcloths from their toiletry bag and moved to guide Till into the shower and under the warm water. He lined the bottles up along the bottom of the mildewed tile wall. Richard climbed in just as he was finishing up getting himself and Till nice and wet, emerging through fog like a rockstar. Once he had thought it he was endlessly glad he hadn’t said that out loud.

   ‘Pass me that shampoo, Richard? I can reach his hair better than you can.’

   Richard gasped, feigning offence at an implication Schneider didn’t technically make. He did as he was asked, though, making sure to read all the labels carefully and reordering them so they could work from left to right. Schneider warmed at the thoughtful gesture, even if that wasn’t what it was meant to be.

 

   The shampoo smelled sharp, like it would almost burn on contact, but in reality it was mostly a pleasant tingle he thought their pup would appreciate. Tea tree and something or other. Schneider began massaging the grime and product out of Till’s hair; he needed a few rounds of shampoo to get it all out, but hearing Till’s careful breathing under the rush of the water was well worth it. He thought Richard might have been humming, but if so it was drowned out almost completely.

   When he was done he considered his sudsy hands for a second before calling to the other man, ‘Richard, swap places with him for a moment and I'll do yours too.’ Richard opened his mouth, but Schneider didn’t stop, ‘Yeah, sure, because somehow that would be the weird part?’ Richard’s lip quirked, revealing a line of endearingly crooked teeth, a blush colouring his ears more than his cheeks. He positioned Till so the water stream was hitting his upper back, shielding them from the heat. Till seemed to realise this and instead sat himself cross-legged on the floor of the shower. Richard moaned when Schneider's fingers began circling his scalp, much to his amusement.

 

   They stood there, Schneider massaging Richard’s head, Richard melting under his fingertips, Till on the floor playing with the water, for longer than they really needed to. He figured Richard was still feeling a little fragile and could do with some care of his own, and it wasn’t like anyone seemed to mind.

   When he was done, he washed and rinsed his own curls and then proceeded to slather his fancy conditioner on everyone’s hair, ‘Trust me, it’s totally better than the shit you guys probably use.’ Richard grumbled but didn’t argue. Till stood up, but occupied himself by humming softly and passing his hand back and forth under the water.

   ‘Till, Liebling, Richard’s shoulders look tense. Can you soap up and rub his back while I get you scrubbed down?’ Till nodded enthusiastically, pleased to be given a simple task that would make Schneider and Richard happy. Richard practically purred as soon as Till’s hands pressed into his taut muscles, fingers not exactly practised—puppies weren't known for their dexterity—but doing their job well anyway. Schneider lathered his own hands with the (thankfully new) bar of Dove and began systematically rubbing away the makeup, sweat, and grime caking Till’s body. He wasn’t sure their washcloths would be salvageable, what with the amount of gunk they absorbed.

   When the water started cooling, Schneider quickly and efficiently washed himself down as well. His was mostly coffee, nowhere as near as bad as the make up and whatever else Till coated himself in; A quick scrub down and some of Richard’s face soap on clean washcloths for the make up, also forced on his friends before Till had time to try and use bar soap again, and he was ready to go. They took turns standing under the stream of water to rinse off a final time, and then Schneider and Richard helped Till over the lip in the floor, just in case.

 

   It was a shame they didn’t have the luxury of a fluffy hotel towel, but everyone seemed relaxed enough at that point that it wasn’t that big of a deal. Till broke into a fit of giggles when Schneider threw a towel over his head and ruffled the water out of his hair, and soon enough Richard and Schneider followed suit, Schneider's characteristically wild and unrestrained, bouncing off the tiles. That is, right up until they heard a sharp knock on the door.

   ‘Hey Till are you almost done? I want to get some of this make up off before we all drive back to the hotel.’

   Richard and Schneider exchanged a wide-eyed look of panic.

   ‘Did I hear Schneider giggling in there too? Stop fucking around, I'm stickyyy!’ The pout was audible.

   He shot Richard a strained expression, but he only shrugged helplessly in response.

   ‘Yes—yeah, we uh. Yeah we’re almost done.’

   ‘Alright, thanks. Have you seen Richard anywhere? We had a few things to go over before we get off back to the hotel.’

   ‘I’m in here, also, yes. Can we do it tomorrow? I uh... have a headache.’

Paul muttered something too quiet for them to hear through the door and then answered, 'Fine.'

 

   Richard and Schneider threw on their clothes in record time, only pausing long enough to make sure they were the right way round. Till hovered, clutching his to his chest but not moving to get ready. This time, Schneider thought he knew what to do.

   ‘Need help?’

   Till sighed in clear relief and handed over his clothes. Schneider took the shirt from the top and passed the rest to Richard.

   ‘Okay, arms up, darling.’ Schneider gave him a warm glance as his hands immediately shot into the air, towel falling to the floor. He yanked a plain grey t shirt over his head, snorting as it caught and momentarily got stuck on his ears so only his sad little eyes peeked out. He looked at Schneider passively before getting his revenge, shaking out his hair like he was still hammering on stage. Or, more accurately, like he was a dog.

   Appropriate, I guess, he thought to himself.

   Richard shot Till a disapproving look as he helped him into his sweatpants.

 

   Schneider assessed their appearances. Richard’s eyeliner, apparently not as waterproof as Till’s stage makeup, had melted down his face to his cheekbones. It looked, well, a little like Schneider’s own stage makeup, actually. He sighed, holding Richard’s head still with both hands and using his thumb to gently clean off the worst of it. It didn’t have to be perfect,

   With eyes like his he can pull off anything.

   He blinked, unsure of where the thought had come from. He couldn’t ever really remember thinking that way, but then again, had he ever really looked? He kept staring: he had to admit, he wasn’t wrong. They were a captivating shade of blue and even the laziness was cute rather than at all off-putting.

   Till rocked happily from one foot to the other, hands twisted and clasped in front of him, but instead of his usual tipsy swaying Richard was statue-still. He wasn’t even blinking. Schneider realised he was still cupping his face and moved away.

   ‘There, all ready to go.’

   Without another word, he turned to collect their stage clothes, wrapping them in the oldest-looking towel so he didn’t get re-dirtied. Richard shook himself and draped the other towels around Till’s neck, presumably to lower the risk of him dropping them, and gathered up their toiletries.

   Paul was waiting outside the bathroom when, in a cloud of steam, the three men emerged. If he thought anything of it he didn’t voice it, though Schneider did notice him staring after them as they all turned into Till’s room together.

   ‘Richard, can you hang up the costumes while I pack everything up? Thank you.’ He didn’t turn to see if he was doing as asked, he knew Richard was too tired to argue. He popped back into his and Richard's room to grab their things, and then they were all ready to go

***

   In the car they decided on Schneider’s hotel room. The placement made the most sense, he argued, since his room was at the end of the corridor.

   When they got in, Schneider slid off his trainers, not bothering to untie the laces, and went right into the bathroom to clean off Till’s collar. It probably wasn’t good for the leather, but he ran a hot, soapy sink of water to soak it in anyway, since they had nothing else. Richard and Till made straight for the bed, and Schneider shouted through to them, ‘Take your shoes off, boys, or you’ll be the ones sleeping in the dirty sheets!’ He heard two distinct, heavy thuds as Till clearly yanked off his shoes and threw them towards the door, and then a sigh from Richard as he took his shoes off like a normal person, and placed them neatly by Schneider's. When Schneider peaked through they were both lying on the bed and looking completely exhausted. He’d let them rest for as long as he could, he decided.

 

   Schneider scrubbed the coffee-sweat paste off the collar as best he could, glad it was leather and not cloth so their pup’s first time in a collar wasn’t too unpleasant. Of course, Till himself wasn’t a stranger to wearing collars or being uncomfortable, but that was besides the point . When it was about as clean as he could get it without a toothbrush or something similar he took one look at the spikes and decided he’d rather not try to squeeze-dry it with a towel. He rummaged until he found what he needed: the cheap hotel-issue hair drier he had vowed to never, ever touch again since he had grown out his hair. It should work well enough, though he feared what effect it’d all have on the collar later on.

   ‘Till, honey, you might want to cover your ears. This will be a little loud.’

   It was. Despite being small and simple it sounded like a fucking leafblower, and Schneider felt genuinely sorry for subjecting Till and Richard to it. He sat there, hairdryer trained on the cool setting and caressing the lining of the leather, until Richard called him back into the main room.

   ‘Hey Schneider?’

   ‘Yeah?’

   ‘Do you have any snacks in here? Only, I’ve only had half a sandwich and a couple of beers since the show.’

   Schneider smirked, ‘No, sorry. If you could get the rest of us some that’d be great.’

   ‘Ugh. Fine. Till, I'm raiding your room.’ He left before an objection could be made.

 

  A few more minutes of drying later, Schneider tested the collar against his lip, checking for dampness and also hot metal. It wouldn’t do for him to brand his new puppy. It seemed fine, but he took it through and had Till check it was clean and dry enough all the same.

   A loud thud rattled the door, ‘I suppose that’ll be Richard, think I should leave him locked out?’

   Till didn’t seem to get the joke, his face taking on a worried expression as he shook his head.

   ‘Sorry, Till, I was only joking. I’ll let him in as long as he has snacks.’

 

   Another thud came a moment before he opened the door, and when he did Richard almost stumbled and fell, forcing Schneider to catch him. Richard, seemingly trying to maintain a shred of his dignity, sniffed and walked in, arms laden with Till’s private stash of food.

   ‘Richard guess what!’ Till clasped his hands as if trying to still himself, ‘It’s ready, he even cleaned it for me!’

   ‘He did? What do you say, then?’

   ‘Thank you for being so thoughtful Schn— Chr—Um. Oh. Name?’

   Schneider turned thoughtful for a moment, ‘What do you usually call Richard?’

   Till shrugged, ‘Never needed to before, just us.’

   ‘What about Sir?’ Richard chimed in.

   ‘Till shook his head, ‘Doesn’t mean anything to me. Nothing English. Nothing not German.’

   ‘It should be easy to sign too, you aren’t usually this talkative.’

   Till furrowed his brow as he tried out a few signs. He could almost hear his brains whirring away and only half-envied him. A lot of the transitions were clumsy or just didn’t seem to fit, but there were a few that kept coming back around. They were simple and looked like they were together, and they seemed fairly quick to execute.

   ‘Wait, stop, what was that last one? You keep doing it, what does it mean?’

   ‘It’s just an H and an S. What are you thinking, my love?’

   Schneider caught the pet name and said nothing.

   ‘Oh um. Maybe just Herr Schneider?’

   The two other men considered it for a moment.

   ‘We can give it a go, see how it feels?’

   ‘It’s better than anything else I can think of.’

***

   ‘Okay Till, over here. Back on your knees.’ Till almost started dropping, before Schneider corrected himself, ‘on a cushion, sweetheart.’

   Schneider polished a few of the spikes with the edge of his shirt. It took Richard and Till a minute or two to search for a cushion, and they eventually had to settle on one of the pillows from the bed with an apology. Schneider didn’t mind; Till’s sore knees were more important than one of the several pillows he had been provided. They had made sure to leave the satin-clad one alone and that was good enough for him. Richard went back to sorting through his bounty and Till knelt at Schneider’s feet.

   ‘Okay, now, this one is just temporary, just to see how you like it. I’ll need it back. We can get you your own special collar later if you want to.’

   Schneider bent down on one knee and nudged Till’s chin up for better access. Till was breathing a little strangely, but he put it down to uncertainty and, hopefully, excitement. He looped the collar around his throat and fastened it carefully, being sure not to overtighten it. Till’s stubble caught and rubbed when he twisted the buckle to the back, so he made a mental note to avoid that in future. He smoothed, or attempted to smooth, the decidedly softer hair sticking up at Till's hairline.

   ‘There you go, mein Hündchen, how does that feel?’

   Till took his time, making sure to swallow and check if anything was cutting in. Luckily, Schneider already knew it was worn in and comfortable enough, but he approved of Till’s thoroughness. He supposed he was making sure he wasn’t setting himself up for failure.

   ‘It’s good, thank you. Um…,’ Till fought for some eloquence, eyes suddenly welded to the floor, ‘How does it look, Herr Schneider?’

   ‘Beautiful. You’re beautiful, Till, I hope you know that.’ Schneider bent to press a kiss to his forehead, trying to calm the swell in his chest.

   ‘Richard?’

   Richard crossed the room to crouch in front of Till, ‘I love it,’ he smiled, genuinely, at Schneider and then addressed Till directly, ‘Turn to face the mirror.’

   Till did as he was told, and was rewarded by Richard’s strong hands gripping his shoulders from behind, making sure he couldn’t move away. He seemed to appreciate the pressure.

   ‘What do you see?’ Richard asked.

   That wasn’t going to be an easy question to answer. Till shifted as if trying and failing to get comfortable.

   ‘It’s okay Liebes, take your time.’ Richard snaked his arms around Till’s neck, placed a kiss near the crown of his fluffy head. Schneider moved to give them some space in their private moment: He was integrating into their world, yes, but he was still new. He clearly still had a lot to learn about them, but this probably wasn't the time to pry.

Notes:

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