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Hellfire and Angelic Grace

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John was holding Lilana, the light fading outside the bedroom windows, feeling a contentment he hadn’t felt in so damn long he’d almost forgotten how it could feel. Her lips were making a map of his chest and he was shocked at how his body was STILL responding. He’d lost count of how many times and how many ways they’d come together since he walked in to comfort her.

She glanced up from beneath her eyelashes, kissing the hair covered chest that she wanted to touch and taste forever. “I want more,” she whispered and he chuckled, his voice hoarse. Lilana moved so she was straddling him, moving lower until he was back inside her heat and then, once again, it felt like the world stopped. “Dear fucking-” she moaned, and it broke whatever spell that hit when they joined. She rocked, letting him feel every slick inch of the inside of her and John’s moan met hers.

“Lilana,” he rolled and was on top of her moving hard and fast, the way he had quickly learned she loved. “That’s it, sweetheart, fuck you’re tight,” his head found her shoulder, and his lips were tasting her skin as greedily as she had his. “You taste amazing, fuck, Lilana, right fucking-” and with a roar, he came again, deep inside of her as she bit into his shoulder to keep from screaming loud enough to breach the well insulated walls of her bedroom.

He stayed cradled between her thighs, their breathing coming down together, their hearts syncing. Her stomach growled and he laughed. “I think I’m hungry.” She giggled. “Which is weird, because I feel so fucking full.” She wiggled and he knew exactly what she meant. He was still inside of her, still coming down, still filling her perfectly. John’s eyes met hers and he saw everything he was feeling reflected. “Think the boys are gonna let us do the walk of shame quietly?”

His thumb brushed her lower lip, that lip that begged to be tasted again. “I think they will if they know what’s good for them.” He dipped his head and gave into temptation. She tasted like every damn thing he couldn’t live without. Her laughter bubbled up when his stomach rumbled against her. “Damn, guess I’m a little hungry too.”

Lilana’s hands were sliding through his hair. Her eyes studying his face, the scar along his eye, the scruff on his face that burned just right on her skin, those eyes of his that burned and twinkled at the same damn time. “You’re fucking gorgeous, John Winchester.” She tugged his head back to hers and licked into his mouth. “I don’t know why I finally found you, but I will die before I lose you.”


It was full dark by the time they came out of her bedroom. Lolly laying against her door, looking like she’d been abandoned. Lilana’s hand reached down automatically and slid through her fur. John’s fingers linked with her other hand, and smiling they walked down the hallway. They could hear the voices of the boys, and another voice, one that made John’s hand tighten in hers.

“John?” She asked, looking up, but the new voice cut in.

“Ah, Papa Winchester,” what accent was that? Lilana tried to place it. “Why don’t you bring Lilana in here and join us?” Ut oh.

Entering the living room, Lilana’s eyes landed on a man in a well made dark suit. He was smaller stature, but so was she, and she had a feeling that wasn’t all they shared. Dark hair, dark facial hair, and a look like he’d really enjoy tearing the wings off of flies in his spare time. Daddy? She wondered, with an internal snarkiness that she felt he heard because of the smirk he flashed at her.

“Lilana, my dear, come, come.” He was gesturing as though he owned her house and she shot him a look. “My apologies, sweetheart, habit.” He took the chair she’d sat in the previous night. Looking very much like the King of Hell, if she were being honest. Fuck.

Pulling John by the hand to the sofa, she sat and drew him down next to her. She kept his hand in hers. “Crowley, I suspect?” Lilana was happy to note that her voice was steady. Good. “Wait,” she leaned forward studying him. “I know you.” She did. She knew him, she’d seen him on the worst night of her life. “You pulled me from the car.” His eyes widened. “You took me from the wreckage, you were at my bedside.”

“I thought you were-” he stopped, his voice had gone breathless. A sign of weakness, and clearly Crowley didn’t want to sound weak. “You were unconscious.”

“I saw you from above.” John glanced at her. It was the same voice she’d used in the dream, almost hers, but not quite. “The corner of the room. You spoke to me.” Crowley’s eyes met John’s. “You said you’d get them, that they’d watch over me.” Her head tilted and John could see the reflection of the glow of her eyes in the wall of glass behind the King of Hell. “Thank you.”

Lilana’s eyes closed and she sighed, and then sat back as though exhausted. “Winchester, explain.” Crowley was unnerved. What had just happened? Her eyes, had anyone ever seen that type of bright light before? So blinding, so white and blue tinged.

John’s hand tightened on Lilana’s, drawing her back to the conversation. “Sorry, I think I might have zone out for a moment.” She took in the tension in the room. “Shit, did I-” she sighed and felt all four sets of eyes zero in on her. Lilana sighed. “Yeah, OK, so sometimes I seem to channel something or someone.” She made it sound like it wasn’t a big deal. “What? He’s the KING OF HELL.” She gestured at Crowley like he won this round of weirdo Olympics.

John’s eyes landed on Crowley with a raised eyebrow. “Want to weigh in, Father Dearest?”

Crowley snorted. “Hark who’s talking.” He sighed and sat back in his chair. “I don’t know, Winchester, how would I?” He studied his daughter’s face. “How long has this been happening? The ‘channeling’?”

Lilana settled into the sofa. “Forever?” A shrug. “Mom mentioned it when I was sixteen like it was a family joke.” Her eyes met Crowley’s. “You know the type, ‘remember the time Li-Li talked in that weird voice and freaked out her nanny so bad she wet herself’, the nanny not me.” She rolled her eyes. “My life has been FILLED with weird. The pool guy who hit me with the net, nearly drowning me in our old house. He didn’t realize he’d touched me, he swore, but before he did it Lolly wouldn’t let him in the gate, and afterward she snuggled him. Weird.”

John and Crowley’s gaze met for a split second. “What else?” Dean, from behind her. She tilted her head and grinned.

“Forgot you were hovering there, why don’t you grab a seat. You too, Sam?” Once everyone was settled in, she continued. “More freaky weird? There was my friend Annie’s mom. She kept badgering Mom and Dad to let me have a sleepover, but when they gave in and I insisted Lolly come along, she backed out.” She bit her lip. “The guys who wanted more, but when they arrived at the house, took one look at Lolly growling and drooling and darted away.” She felt John shift with irritation. “Not all of them, clearly. I don’t know, up until the other night, it was just weird stuff over and over, interspersed with me spouting off cryptic shit in a voice sort of mine, but not.” Her eyes squinted. “And the light. Mom swore that sometimes it looked like my eyes glowed.” She rolled her eyes.

“It’s true, Lilana,” John’s voice was quiet and she turned to look at him. “They glow.” What?

“Lilana,” Crowley’s voice drew her attention back to him. “I’m not sure you understood everything they told you-”

“Half angel, half demon?” She snorted, who would understand that? “I don’t.”

“Your mother, Abigail, was-” He closed his eyes. “She and I weren’t supposed to-” Not enough strength, not by a mile. “What we had was forbidden.” His eyes opened to her watching him. “Our love, you, it was beyond forbidden. She-”

“Evaporated.” Lilana’s voice was hushed, but sure. “She ceased to exist. All because of me.” The pain he heard was real and it was echoed inside of him. “Maybe I shouldn’t-”

Four voices shot that idea down. “Darling, no.” Crowley took up the argument easily. “You mother, she was a great deal like you, she said things, knew things, that she shouldn’t. You were meant to be.” He sounded as certain as she had. “It hurt to lose her, I won’t deny that, it’s a loss I feel to this second.” Li-Li’s eyes were shining with tears. “But YOU? You are supposed to exist. You make her loss at least mean something.” His eyes flicked to John’s hand in hers. He growled. “Could you stop mauling my daughter right in front of me, Winchester?”

Li-Li’s eyes glanced down at their linked fingers. “Mauling? We’re holding hands-” she searched for something to call him. Damn it. “What do I call you?”

Crowley came up short at the question. Call him? Father? No, too formal. Dad? No, too casual. Daddy? No, too cringe inducing. He shot Winchester a look. Please, all that is unholy, do not let her be calling Papa Winchester ‘daddy’. “I’m not sure, Lilana.” They sat and studied one another. “What would you like to call me?”

Another moment of silence. Father? Ugh, that would sound like he was her priest, which would be hilarious, but weird. Dad? Nope, she had one, he was dead. Daddy? Eww, there was an amount of ew that couldn’t be un-thought, and that word brought them all to the surface. Papa? She shot a look at John. Yeah, no, not after he’d called John that multiple times. “Can we play it by ear?”

A nod. Great. “Back to the issue at hand-” he shot their linked hands another sharp look. “Mauling.” Lilana rolled her eyes.

“Mauling?” She held up their hands for a better look. “This is mauling?” John could hear the playful bent in her voice and shut his eyes against the thought of what may be coming. “Damn, guess we should be happy he didn’t come straight into my bedroom earlier, right, honey?” She blinked at John, his eyes opened and he had to fight a laugh. “I mean, not to brag, but that was MAULING.” She dragged the word out and felt the sofa on her other side shake. Turning she saw Dean turning almost blue from holding in some type of emotion. “You OK, Dean?”

That did it. Dean let out the breath he’d been holding, a combination of deflated squeak toy and horror left him and Sam was laughing from his own chair with abandon. Crowley and John were staring at one another and Lilana could almost feel the heat.

“Oh stop it.” It was directed at Crowley, because of course, he rolled his eyes. “You don’t get to throw your parental weight around here, mister.” She stood up, releasing John’s hand reluctantly. “I don’t KNOW you, and whose fault is that?” He opened his mouth, but she kept going. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, my protection and forbidden love, bullshit. YOU’RE King of Hell, right? Well, toss your weight around and do supervised visits or something.” She threw her hands up in the air and headed for the kitchen. “Now, since I just experienced MIND BLOWING marathon sex with the sexual wizard that is John Winchester, I’m starving. Anyone want dinner?”