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sandwich thief

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Bringing lunch to work is the most practical thing to do: you save money by not eating at nearby restaurants or the overpriced cafeteria food at your office building. To Sakusa Kiyoomi though, he thought it was a matter of cleanliness, he wanted to be the one to prepare his own food so that he knew the ingredients were properly sanitized and that the food was cooked in a hygienic environment. You never know how dirty those restaurant kitchens are.

His problem was that someone at the office was more practical than he was, and had even less morals than he had.

“Someone ate your sandwich again?” Meian asks as a scowling Sakusa gets in line behind him at the cafeteria.

“Yes,” Sakusa says angrily. He was hungry and only wanted to eat the gourmet chicken sandwich he made with his own two hands. He could get sick if the cafeteria kitchen wasn’t clean.

“Maybe you should stop putting it in the office fridge,” Meian suggests. He looks like he wants to wrap an arm around Sakusa to comfort him but everyone knows by now that Sakusa absolutely hates contact. “I’ll treat you today so stop making a scary face, okay?”

Sakusa forces a smile. Which most likely looked like a grimace instead. “Thanks, boss.”

He doesn’t tell Meian about the note that replaced his sandwich and the note he stuck to it (“PROPERTY OF SAKUSA KIYOOMI. DO NOT TOUCH WITH YOUR DISGUSTING HANDS”):

TO SAKUSA KIYOOMI: Sorry for stealing your sandwiches when it’s your heart I want to steal ;)

 

-

Sakusa wants to beat up the stupid sandwich thief, but the same sandwich thief was his secret admirer who left him stupid cheesy little notes at every crime scene. Though he would never admit it to his officemates (as he was always the one who judged Meian with his dumb stalker behavior towards Hirugami Fukuro from the HR department), Sakusa wanted to have some romance in his life as well, and this secret admirer was the only one he knew who was interested in him, prickly as his personality was.

And Sakusa hoped that maybe, just maybe, he or she was cute.

So today he brings two sandwiches to work, one with a note saying "PROPERTY OF SAKUSA KIYOOMI", and the other with "TO THE PERSON WHO KEEPS STEALING MY SANDWICHES, EAT JUST ONE OF THESE SANDWICHES OR I WILL GET YOU".

The plan kind of works. His own sandwich is left untouched at lunchtime.

His plan to give the sandwich thief his own sandwich had worked, but instead of a whole note he gets two pieces of onigiri with For Sakusa Kiyoomi :) written on a sticky note. They’re delicious when he eats them for lunch, one filled with tuna and one with pickled plum.

He’s not going to admit to himself that he’s disappointed at the lack of a cheesy note.

-

The sandwich he brought for lunch is left uneaten, so Sakusa heats it up using the microwave when he gets hungry during the afternoon, filling the office with the smell of meat and cheese that makes everyone look at him in envy as he started eating.

Everyone knew better than to ask for a bite, except for one person.

“Hey Omi-kun, care to give me a bite?” Miya Atsumu asks from beside him. He had the habit of appearing all the time to annoy Sakusa. Miya liked procrastinating like this, and Sakusa kind of hated him for wasting time, except that Miya still managed to finish his job in time.

“Don’t give him any,” Inunaki calls from his desk. “Your sandwich will be reduced by 70%. Believe me.”

Atsumu looks at Inunaki like he’s been betrayed. “No it won’t! I’ll take the teensiest bite! Like, this small,” he says, pinching his thumb and index finger together.

“It’s not like Omi-omi would give you any food,” Bokuto says sadly. He had been rejected before.

"No," Sakusa says, continuing to type the document he had been working on with one hand while the other gripped his sandwich.

"Omi-kuuuun," Miya wails in despair.

Sakusa ignores him. He's said no already and didn't like repeating himself, so he lets Miya ramble and tries not to listen.

"Come on, Omi-omi! Stop being so stingy! Havin’ just one of those sandwiches ain’t enough an’ the last time I ate one was lunchtime so you really should give me-"

Sakusa stares at him. Everyone in the room alternates between looking at Miya in pity and awaiting for Sakusa to blow up.

"What, you guys? I just want to have a bite of that sandwich and…" Miya’s eyes widen in realization. "Oh, god… Omi-kun… I-"

"Miya,” Sakusa says slowly. He could imagine Miya Atsumu stealing sandwiches, he was an idiot like that, but the notes? Unbelievable. 

"Y-yes!"

"Have you been stealing Sakusa’s sandwiches?" Meian asks Miya as he walked over to Sakusa’s desk.

"Oh my god, someone so close to you was the culprit," Thomas says dramatically before Miya can answer. Inunaki shushes him. Bokuto and Hinata look scared, probably expecting Sakusa to explode on them. Barnes stares at the whole scene blankly. His Japanese isn't good enough to understand what is happening.

“I didn’t eat it!” Miya says defensively.

Sakusa glares at him until he tells the truth.

"Um… It was me," Miya admits. He looks at Sakusa like a kicked puppy, bowing his head down. Sakusa thought he looked pitiful. "Sorry, Omi-kun."

"Well, you've given Sakusa a lot of trouble," Meian says, eyebrows furrowed. "It's up to Sakusa if he'll report this to HR."

Hmm. Reporting to HR seemed like the most obvious course of action. But Sakusa was more curious than angry so he’ll have to wait for an explanation from Miya before really getting mad.

“Not Hirugami Fukuro! You’ll ask ‘im about me all day, boss!” Miya moans. “Omi-kun, I’m sorry! I’ll make it up to you!”

“Miya,” Sakusa starts. Everyone stares at him, probably expecting him to slap Miya or something. Though that wasn’t something Sakusa would do. He wouldn’t touch anything as dirty as Miya’s face.

“Y-yeah, Omi-kun?”

“Let’s go home together.” Sakusa checks the wall clock. Just fifteen minutes of their work day left. He'd have to know the whole truth before deciding what to do with Miya.

Fifteen minutes later he hears Inunaki telling a teary-eyed Miya to remember to call the police if Sakusa brings him somewhere secluded because that would mean Sakusa was trying to kill him. For a sandwich.

"Miya, let's go," Sakusa says, picking up his briefcase as he says goodbye to the other employees and interns. Miya follows him out like a lost puppy, looking at the other people in the office helplessly.

"Where’re ya takin’ me," Miya asks nervously as he took the passenger seat of Sakusa’s car. “Yer not really gonna kill me, right? It was just a couple o’ sandwiches and you’re not all that pissed off, right?”

"Shut up. I am mad at you," Sakusa snaps as he started driving home. Miya shuts up during the entire car ride. He knows he’s already on Sakusa’s bad side.

They arrive at Sakusa’s flat. Sakusa makes Miya wash his hands for a whole twenty seconds as he himself sits down at the small dining table. He folds his arms across his chest when his hands are sufficiently clean, looking at Miya expectantly.

"What?" Miya asks, confused.

"What?" Sakusa repeats mockingly, and Miya flinches. "You said you'd make it up to me. So, cook me something. Feed me. Use anything from the fridge and pantry."

Miya scrambles to check out the kitchen. “Okay. Omi-omi sure has a lot of spices,” Miya comments as he admires the fancy spice rack Sakusa has. He goes to the refrigerator to check what ingredients are available. “You cook a lot?”

"Yes. Now what were those notes you left me?" Sakusa asks him back instead.

"The notes?" Miya asks as he held up a carrot and half a head of cabbage.

Sakusa sighs. So much for having a cute secret admirer. Miya probably just wrote them to make the sandwich thief look like someone else, and didn't really think much of it.

"I like you, Omi-kun."

Sakusa looks back at his colleague, who was looking back at him with a sincere, somewhat sad expression. His ears feel hot. "What?"

"I said I like you, Omi-omi. That's why I wrote all that cheesy stuff." Miya turns his back to Sakusa and starts to chop the cabbage into tiny slivers. "I like you a lot. I like when you throw those hugeass binder clips at me when I'm being annoying, I like when we work together and make cool presentations even though you kick me afterwards, and I even liked when you chased me around the office threatening to stab me with scissors. That was a lot of fun, huh?”

Sakusa’s mouth fell slightly open. Did he really do all those horrible things to Miya? And was Miya some kind of masochist?

“I like how cold you are to everyone, I think that’s kinda cool, I like how serious you are about finishing your work and doing it well, I like how clean your desk is and… I dunno what else to say, I guess I’ve made my point.” Miya shrugs. His ears are pink.

“But why steal my sandwiches,” Sakusa grumbles. “Wouldn’t it make me hate you?”

Miya grins sheepishly as he looks back again. “Because, I want to eat food prepared by the person I like. An’ your sandwiches are delicious!”

Sakusa tries to pretend his face was hot because of the kitchen heat. Miya places a bowl of stir-fried vegetables in front of him before sitting down on the seat in front of him.

“ ‘m sorry, Omi-kun.” Miya bows his head. “Sorry for letting you starve except today. Those onigiris were made by my brother, I tried to make them myself but I kept fuckin' up. I promise he washed his hands before making them. And sorry for confessing now, please don’t let us be awkward at the office.”

Sakusa starts eating in silence, staring at the mop of blonde hair in front of him. He was kind of friends with Miya if he thought about it, and he had to admit that Miya is kind of handsome when he shut his mouth. The stir-fried vegetables were okay too.

“Miya,” he says hesitantly in the middle of eating the oddly-shaped cut vegetables. Miya stares at him, still looking scared. Sakusa gives him a small smile back. “I don’t like you that way now, but I think I could come to like you.”