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Just in Case

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Hey, this is Lance.
Geez, I sound like I’m writing a text or email. Eh, if it works, it works.

I’ve been thinking lately- this is a war. People die in wars. I mean, I almost died yesterday! And if I had, I wouldn’t have been able to say goodbyes or last messages or anything. I guess this is my goodbye letter in case I die. Not something I really want to think about, but I want to be prepared.

I’m going to try to write this as if I have died, just so I don’t have to worry about tenses. Besides, this will only be read if I’m dead anyway, so. But I’m sure I’ll slip up a few times. You try writing a letter from the point of view of a dead person. 

 

Here’s to hoping I died making a difference, helping people, and not due to some stupid mistake I made.

 

Coran- thanks for being there for me to comfort me when I was down. And for helping us get settled in, to feel more at home here. And I guess for your attempts to feed us, not that we ate them- but you tried, so there is that. You also worked hard at getting us to bond, so thanks for that too.

Allura- I don’t blame you. (I mean, as of right now I won’t blame you if I die, and I don’t think that will change.) We all knew the risks- this is a war. I just want to thank you for giving me the opportunity to make a difference, to be a part of something bigger. I’m honored to have known you, and wish you the best one completing your goal of freeing the universe from Zarkon’s grasp. Just, you should also think of what you want after, what you and Coran will do once the universe is free. Do something for yourselves, and not for others- you don’t owe anyone anything. 

Shiro- I don’t blame you either. (In case people only read their part, I’ll repeat what I said to Allura. As of right now, I won’t blame you if I die, and I don’t think that will change.) We all knew the risks- this is a war. If you try to pull a “I’m the leader, I was accountable for his safety”, well bad things happen, and plans can be ruined at any time- you can’t account for everything that will happen. If I died on some mission or whatever, don’t blame yourself, because I wouldn't. And don’t torture yourself either by thinking “if only I had done this, Lance would still be alive.” You didn’t force us to come out here and fight- we all decided to go through that wormhole. We all decided to stay and fight. I want to thank you for being our leader and taking charge. I know I wouldn’t be able to do as well as you. Thanks for trusting and relying on me. Back at the Garrison, even before, you were my role model, who I looked up to and wanted to be like when I grew up. After I met you, that didn’t change. You’re still my role model and someone to look up to.

Keith- you’re a great pilot, and a good teammate too. Just, try opening up a bit. I’d have liked to have gotten to know you better. Earlier, after I had gotten out of the cryotube and was eating, I teased you about what you did during the situation and taking back the castle. I didn’t mean it in a mean way or anything like that. And when I said “it didn’t happen, don’t remember it” or whatever it was after you mentioned us having a bonding moment- I honestly don’t remember anything between leaping to shield Coran and coming out of the cryotube. I didn’t want to acknowledge any sort of ' bonding moment,’ as you said, that I don’t even remember. 


Wow, I’m doing a bad job with these tenses. I guess this ended up being a letter to myself too.

Pidge- Apparently this is turning into a last piece of advice letter too. Try to work better with others- I mean, back at the Garrison in the simulators, not to point the blame or anything, but I think we would have done a little bit better if you had listened to my commands. Maybe. I don’t know. ANYWAY. I hope you find your family alive and well. Just know that family isn’t just by blood. I see you as a little sister. Yes, I knew you were a girl. I have sisters myself so I could recognize you were one. I just didn’t want you to feel bad that you didn’t trick any of us. Sorry to burst your bubble but I wanted to clear this up, so you don’t think I’m an idiot. I also see myself as I guess the comic relief, making jokes and lightening the mood. I know that you’ll go far in life.

Hunk- my buddy, my pal, my hermano. I am glad to have known you. You’re my best friend. The best friend I could have ever hoped for. I’m sorry I dragged you into this. A part of me wants to say I should have listened to you back at the Garrison when we were sneaking out, when you said that it was a bad idea and you had a bad feeling about it, but to be honest I’m glad I didn’t. I was finally able to be an important part of something bigger, to make a difference. If we hadn't come here, the Galra eventually would have come to Earth. Because of us, Earth, and every other planet out there, has a fighting chance. And even though I wish you weren’t dragged into this, are being put in danger, I’m glad I had you with me. I never would have made it without you. When I’m with you, it’s like I had a piece of home here in space with me. You’re a good person, and I know you'll succeed in life. Stay strong, be confident, and chase your dreams. I believe in you buddy.

To mi familia- I love you all so much. I’m so grateful that I’ve been blessed to have you as my family. To Mamá and Papá, thanks for being such great parents. You really are the best I could ever ask for. To Veronica, Luis, Rachel and Marco- thanks for being such great role models and for not being only my siblings, but also my friends. To grandma and grandpa, I love you both, and your stories inspired me. To little Sylvio and Nadia- I’m sorry I won’t be there to watch you guys grow up, but know that I’ll always love you and be proud of you. I’m sorry to have left you all, but I was given the chance to be a part of something bigger, to make a difference in so many peoples lives, and to also keep you all safe from the Galra. I wish we had more time together, but know that I love you all so much, and am proud to have called you my family.

To everyone- don’t spend too long feeling bad that I’m not with you anymore- I want you to focus on the good times we had together. Remember me at my best, and know that every single one of you made my life that much better and worth living for. 

I love you all, and my only regret is not telling you that more often,
Lance McClain