Before he died fighting Calamity Ganon the first time, Revali had never quite managed to work up the courage to tell Link how he really felt about him. He had never really had the time, either, what with attempting to save all of Hylia from Ganon. Plus, Link had Zelda, Revali had always bitterly, harshly reminded himself when his romantic musings began to grow in his mind. He would not stand in the way of those two’s love.
And yet, Revali realized, now that he was alive again after being dead for 100 years, Zelda and Link had never loved each other at all. Oh, of course they were wonderful friends. No one would ever deny their deep bond of friendship with each other, even with their rocky start. However, neither had interest in the other in the romantic sense, Zelda having eyes only for Urbosa and Link having absolutely no interest in women. Revali felt immediately relieved when he learned this (he still had a chance with Link! Now he just had to work up the courage to ask him), but as soon as he realized this, he also realized something else horrible.
Sidon was in love with Link, and the prince seemed to have no issues showing it.
Thankfully for Revali, Link was an oblivious idiot who wouldn’t know romance if it smacked him upside the head. He never seemed to realize that Sidon kept asking him out on dates, always treating these meetings as just spending time with a friend. Revali was eternally grateful for Link’s lack of awareness of romance, because this meant that he still had a chance. He began to plot, planning out exactly what he would say to Link, how he would say it, when he would confess, where he should ask Link to in order to make his grand confession. His plan was foolproof and accounted for every possible factor. Of course, Revali forgot one particular factor.
The Zora prince seemed to be there whenever Revali tried to get Link alone. The first time Revali asked Link to take a walk with him, Sidon suddenly swooped in with a mission for Link to finish. The second time Revali tried to ask Link for a walk, Link smiled sheepishly and informed Revali that he had promised to spar with Sidon that afternoon. After the third attempt, Revali gave up on the walk idea and began asking Link to spar. That was also an issue, apparently, as became apparent when Link was dragged off by Mipha right before their first session, kidnapped by Sidon before the second, found by Zelda and coerced into helping her with an experiment during their third, and dragged by Urbosa into another sparring match before their fourth. Revali was beginning to become convinced that everyone did not want him and Link to be together, and he was beginning to get desperate.
Eventually, Revali just decided to approach Link and ask him out bluntly. He found Link in the corridor, chatting with Zelda, his laughter lighting up his whole face. Revali let out a small smile at that and began to walk forward, intent on professing his love, when he was stopped abruptly by the Zora prince.
“Greetings, Prince Sidon. What can I do for you today?” Revali didn’t really care if he sounded testy at the moment, he was busy and Sidon was disturbing him.
“You like Link, don’t you?” Sidon simply asked, golden eyes dark and filled with an emotion that Revali didn’t really feel like interpreting at that moment.
“What does that have to do with anything?”
“You’re very rude to him. I don’t like it.” Sidon wasn’t smiling for the first time since Revali had met him. “You insult him all the time. I don’t know why you act the way you do, but stay away from Link. You’re not good for him.”
Revali’s feathers positively bristled at that comment. “Well, you’re too soft. You don’t understand what he’s been through. You can’t help him through his panic attacks, you can’t help remind him of his life before the Calamity, and honestly, who the fuck do you think you are, telling me to stay away from one of my friends?”
Sidon glared, baring his teeth at Revali. “Stay away from him.” In response, Revali tilted his head back so he could look Sidon directly in the eyes, glare, and respond “Not a chance.”
And so the war began.
Sidon would attempt to woo Link by bribing him with food and monster hunting, while Revali would try and woo Link more with pretty rocks and feathers. Link, the strange, feral Hylian that he was, did not seem to understand the purpose of any of these gifts, and instead insisted on repaying both Revali and Sidon with food. Revali was at the end of his rope, as was Sidon, yet both refused to be the first to back down. And so, they kept at their wooing war, despite the fact that the person they both wanted to woo was completely oblivious to their advances.
This all came to a head two weeks after the beginning of this Wooing War, when Zelda finally pulled Sidon and Revali into a back room to scold them for their behaviour.
“Why don’t you two idiots just ask Link out like normal people?” Zelda sighed, crossing her arms as she glared at both of them.
“He’s not going to accept both of us dating him!” Revali shot back, rolling his eyes. Honestly, Zelda was so intelligent, but sometimes she was just plain silly.
“And you know this how, exactly?”
“Well, because…” Revali trailed off, and he could also see Sidon looking just as confused. “... he’s never said he’d date more than one person?”
“Idiots, all of you,” Zelda groaned. “Just- just ask him, for the love of the Goddess.” With that, she spun around and stalked off, muttering about emotionally constipated men who wouldn’t know communication if it hit them upside the head. Revali and Sidon glanced at each other and shrugged at that. The princess had always been a bit weird.
Revali should have known that Zelda would take matters into her own hands at some point. Another week had passed since she had talked to him and Sidon, and neither had confessed to Link. Revali was planning another way to woo Link, involving bokoblin hunting, when Link approached him with a serious expression in his eyes. “ Revali? Can we talk? ”
“Hm? Oh, of course. What’s wrong, Link?”
“ Do you like me? ” Link’s face promised pain if Revali tried to bullshit his way out of this. Deciding to be smart and keep his feathers all intact as well as his life, Revali simply nodded in reply. “ So why have you not told me before? ”
“I was trying to figure out how to court you properly, but Sidon kept getting in the way, and I did not think it was appropriate to ask you without properly courting you first,” Revali answered, crossing his wings.
Link rolled his eyes and threw his hands towards the ceiling, beginning to pace around in clear frustration. Revali just watched, not willing to risk possibly losing a limb by interrupting Link.
After a few minutes, Link calmed down and turned to face Revali, hands clasped together and fingers resting under his nose. He inhaled before pointing both hands directly at Revali. “ You are an idiot. ”
“ You and Sidon are both idiots. You could just talk to me, you know! ”
“Yes, we’ve established this. Is there another point to this?” Link made a small noise of frustration before he marched over, grabbed Revali’s head between his hands, and pulled him in for a kiss. Oh, it was awkward. Link had never kissed a Rito before, after all, and Revali had never kissed a Hylian. It was far from perfect, but somehow, that made it even more perfect. After a few minutes, Link pulled back with a goofy grin on his face.
“ That’s the point ,” he signed. “ I love both of you, Revali, and of course I would date you. ”
Revali swallowed at that. “So, are you saying yes to me, or yes to Sidon?”
Link’s face broke out into a smirk. “ Revali, darling. I have two hands. ”