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losing all my cool

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As loathe as she is to admit it, Joohyun needs to get laid. Though the divorce officially went through a little less than a month ago, Henry had stopped bothering to do anything more than jerk himself off to swimsuit catalogues (tch, what an embarrassing cliché) while she was downstairs doing laundry for the last three years. He’d insisted that having Yerim wouldn’t mess with their equilibrium. He’d lied.

So now she finds herself with a schedule tighter than her ex’s wallet, avoiding the looks the other mothers give her when she drops her baby off at school, and still insisting she can do it all. And she can! She’s still a kickass lawyer, still a terrific mom, still has an ass idol trainees would die doing kettlebell squats for, and who cares if she sometimes loads up her wedding video at 2am on her laptop and cries with the computer burning on her boobs until she passes out? That’s doing it all, technically. It’s an activity. She doesn’t put it on her phone calendar, but it’s there. Pencilled in.

But she knows she needs balance, knows she needs time to grow and do things that enrich her for enriching’s sake. Hence the dance classes, hence all her friends tossing groupon distractions at her en masse.

“It’s because we missed you, stupid,” Sooyoung tells her on the way to modern fusion at six in the evening, but she knows better. They don’t want her to became any smaller than Henry made her. Any smaller and she’ll disappear entirely. There’s a part of her that misses her husband, being part of a team. She just wishes someone would tell her what she’s supposed to do now that she’s here.

And listen, dance class is fun. Well, not always fun, it’s pretty exhausting and she isn’t twenty-one anymore so five years of relative domestic laziness and a baby mean she can just about keep up with everyone else. But it’s exhilarating, because of the serotonin release, the music booming through her body from her teeth to her toes-

“God would you look at her,” Sooyoung leans over to whisper. “Like sex on legs if it went to a Sunday couch sale.”

Oh, yes. Instructor Seulgi. Seulgi is also, um, exhilarating. To look at. And other things. God. There’s something about her that makes Joohyun feel like a teenager again. It’s not just the fact that she’s gorgeous, not just her sweet smile, or how that big commanding voice fits into such a bouncy little body. She also turns up in these bizarre fusions of comfortable and slutty and all Joohyun can imagine is untangling that bun that’s ratted up on her head and brush it out, maybe by a fire, maybe she wants Seulgi to brush her hair too, maybe she wants Seulgi to eat her out and fuck her so hard her cheeks get carpet-burn-

No. She can’t get riled up before class even starts again. She’s almost thirty, she has a mortgage and stretch marks, so that would be… that would be ridiculous. She has some measure of self-control. She’s tough. She doesn’t laugh at jokes she doesn’t find funny to make men feel good about themselves. She’s powerful. She’s not gonna lose her mind over her perky unfairly hot dance instructor. At least not outside the privacy of her midnight jerk-off sessions (those are scheduled too).

Seulgi claps and everyone’s attention lands on her. “Alright, class! Today we’re working on something a little samba-inspired.” She grins and punctuates herself with a roll of her hips. God. Those hips. Joohyun does her best not to catch anyone else’s eye in the huge mirror behind Seulgi; doesn’t want them to somehow hear her thoughts. “Let’s go for a warm-up, get those muscles nice and loose and ready for a takedown!”

Seulgi jumps and they follow. The warm-up’s fast and Seulgi scans the room every time to make sure everyone’s keeping up. This is the part where Joohyun always fucks up. She’s fine until Seulgi looks at her, stumbling or faltering or slowing down. They have a signal now; when Seulgi checks in with her, a raised eyebrow, a question of are you okay? And Joohyun nods and smiles until Seulgi smiles back, and her eyes leave and Joohyun can breathe again. Ridiculous.

The routine is fun today, though. Especially the way Seulgi demonstrates it, achingly slowly, sinuous to show how well her body knows itself, to show how their bodies should learn to be too.

Joohyun knows she’s gotta be the oldest person here, but it’s gratifying when her core works and she keeps up, slowly, watching Seulgi as best as she can. Watching Seulgi flick her eyes to her in the mirror and beam at her getting it right. It’s better than a settlement against the defence, better than fresh laundry.

Just as much a part of the routine, Seulgi jogs up to her during the break. “You good, unnie?”

Joohyun ignores Sooyoung laughing at her while she stretches. “I’m okay, thank you Seulgi.”

“Cool, cool,” Seulgi nods, nods again, her cheeks full when she smiles. “I’m glad. Do you like the routine?”
Oh yeah, Joohyun’s gonna be thinking about the strain in Seulgi’s thighs when she bends and spreads them for the rest of the week. “It’s very… intense.”

“Thanks!” Seulgi perks. Her eyes are drawn to Joo’s hands and suddenly she pauses. “Did you lose your ring?”

Ah. The tan line. Joohyun rubs at it self-consciously. “No, um, my divorce finally went through. Seemed silly to keep it on.”

“Divorce?” Seulgi repeats, her eyes bugging. “No way.”

Like a damn fool, Joohyun giggles. “Um. Yes way.”

“Sorry, that was rude.”

“It wasn’t, he was an asshole.” She smirks and Seulgi grins back.

“Well… I get that the routine is intense, unnie. If you needed any help, I’m happy staying late to go through it a little more.” She bites her lip. Oh. “If you wanted.”

Joohyun mentally thinks of her schedule, of picking Yerim up from the babysitter, of getting dinner for one ready for herself, and she droops. She wants. She can’t.

“Of course she does!” Sooyoung interrupts, hands heavy on Joohyun’s shoulders. “Unnie needs all the help she can get.”

What? What? Before Joohyun can protest, Seulgi completely lights up, words rapid. “Great! That’s so- Yes, super! Great, I’ll-” Suddenly her eyes widen and Joohyun watches her throat bob uncomfortably, watches Seulgi wilt for a moment. “Oh dang, I just bought a new one… ‘Scuse me ladies.” She jogs off forlornly which can only mean one thing.

“Oh my god she swallowed her tongue ring,” Joohyun whimpers. That’s the second one in a month. “I want her inside me.” Oh wait. She whips around at Sooyoung and hisses, “What are you doing, I can’t just-!”

She stops her with a well-placed kiss to the top of Joohyun’s head, which makes Joohyun grimace. Tall girls are a menace to society at large. “I’ll pick Yerim up from Jennie’s, you go get some of that. It’s for your own good.”

Seulgi checks her tongue in the mirror and experimentally coughs before giving up and patting her tummy. Her fucking killer abs. Yeah. For Joohyun’s own good.



With the anticipation ramping up as class goes on, Joohyun’s jitters come out as over-achieving, throwing her hips and legs and ass around and up and wherever Seulgi shouts that they need to go. She likes that, following her instructions. It makes her gut tug deliciously up and up, makes her cheeks feel pink pretty and warm. Makes her feel young.

“Alright everybody, great work, great energy as always, you guys rule!” She throws her hands up like a rockstar and all the cringing college students clap, equal parts embarrassed and endeared. While the rest of the class filters out, Sooyoung blowing Joo a kiss and miming something unspeakably lewd at her as she goes, Joohyun pretends she’s engrossed in her phone. Seulgi’s similarly absorbed in her gym bag, pulling at the laces in her sneakers, inspecting them with a concentrated face for a minute, and putting them away.

When they’re finally alone, there’s nowhere to hide anymore. Seulgi pops up like a jack-in-a-box and saunters over, fidgeting uselessly with her messy bun.

“So you need help with the routine, unnie?” Seulgi asks, her voice rough.

Joohyun nods, her hands shaking behind her back. “Just one part, really, the, um,” she wracks her brain, “The step change before the drop.”

“The slut drop?” Seulgi asks genuinely, but yeah, hearing her say the slut drop while looking straight at Joohyun makes her eyes shake. Seulgi nods, oblivious. “Right, we can work on that.”

It goes like this: Seulgi repeats the move a couple times, Joohyun joins in when she’s ready. Seulgi watches her, only her, and Joohyun makes every move more streamlined with every pass. The burn of her thighs every time she drops makes her gasp, and Seulgi won’t stop looking at her which makes her gasp too. But it’s been a few minutes of the same move and Seulgi hasn’t said anything. She just keeps watching. 

“Am I doing it right?” Joohyun blurts, finally, no gauge on whether she’s doing anything right anymore.

Seulgi stops and moves in close, asks instead, “Can I touch you?” Joo nods and Seulgi moves her hand over the back of her thigh and it twitches. Seulgi doesn’t flinch, hand pressing harder while she drops to a crouch by Joohyun’s knees, hands braced against the mirror now. “See, here… you need to relax your hamstring or else it’ll tense up and ruin the line.”

“The line?”

“The fluidity of the move follows a line,” Seulgi says, but her hand keeps moving up and her voice keeps getting lower. “Do you feel it?”

Joohyun looks down where Seulgi’s got her hands on her thigh, where she’s rubbing it through the fabric. Yes, she can feel it. She nods and Seulgi’s grip gets tighter.

“You’re good at this, unnie,” she murmurs. “I don’t think you need my help.”

“I do!” Joohyun bursts, covering her face. “Sorry. Yes, well, I-” She feels strangled. She doesn’t want Seulgi to peel everything off and find herself wanting. “It’s complicated.”

“Do you like me?”
Joohyun can’t stop covering her face, but she whispers, “Yeah.”

“Then it’s not complicated.” She stands up and pulls Joohyun’s hands from her face, grip firm even though her hands are so soft. Seulgi’s eyes are the same eyes that burn through her in class, the same ones that float back to her no matter what. Maybe she’s right; maybe it isn’t complicated. “I want to kiss you. May I?”

There’s no need to answer, there’s just throwing her arms around Seulgi’s neck and kissing her. There’s only dragging her back so she slams back into the mirror and there’s only Seulgi’s knee slotting in perfect between her legs, followed by her hand rubbing right over her clit. The touch is so certain Joohyun’s core bows in half, desire carving her up like a knife while Seulgi’s wrist moves as fluently as the rest of her. Her clothes aren’t even off and Joohyun feels more naked and wanted than she has in years.

“You’re so wet,” Seulgi pulls back and it’s not teasing, it’s just a statement. “I’m gonna ruin you.” That’s another statement and Joohyun groans into her mouth, begging yes yes, please.

Seulgi moves her easily, turns her around and bites her ear. “Hands up on the mirror and keep them there. Don’t move.” Joo obeys, her breath already fogging up the glass, eyes closing so all she can do is feel. Seulgi kisses her neck, her shoulder. “Good girl.” Oh fuck.

Slowly, carefully, Seulgi slides her leggings down and Joohyun’s really regretting wearing unsexy underwear today until Seulgi kisses at the meat of her thigh, grabs her ass and moves it up, parts it and hisses.

“Fuck, Joohyun-unnie, you’re so hot I feel like I could tear up the floorboards,” Seulgi says impossibly, and Joo wants to collapse into her arms, wants to kiss her again, wants to let her spit in her mouth, but Seulgi said she couldn’t move, so she doesn’t. Seulgi pats her legs and it makes Joo gasp. “Oh?”

“Again. A little harder?” Joohyun asks.

Seulgi obliges, hand coming down and making her jolt. She rips Joohyun’s underwear down, lets them pool at her ankles same as her leggings like restraints.

“Legs apart, unnie.” When Joo’s legs just shake, Seulgi smacks her thigh again. “You hear me? Apart. You should know all about that with a messy cunt like yours.” She gasps at herself. “Sorry…”

“Jesus, no it’s good,” Joo laughs, but she spreads her legs as far as she can, sticking her ass out, her… messy cunt on display. Her voice drops all sultry. “Like that?”

“Uh huh,” Seulgi mumbles, hands so strong on her ass. Joo can feel the heat of her tongue near her clit and she shivers. “Want you to look at yourself, unnie. Watch.”

Joohyun lifts her head up and sees- oh god, she’s a mess already. When did that happen? “I’m looking,” she says and it comes out breathless.

“Good,” Seulgi says, and then her mouth slots over her and Joohyun loses her mind.

Seulgi eats her out until she’s dripping, the sounds fucking filthy in the empty studio. Her fingers come up and tease at her clit but she wants them inside so badly, doesn’t know if her voice will work for long enough to beg.

“Please,” Joo whimpers.


“Your fingers…”
Seulgi hums. “You want them in your pretty pussy, unnie?” She grabs at her ass again and smacks it lightly. “Huh? You want ‘em?”

“Please! God, please, please, want you-”

“Y’know,” Seulgi says while she casually slips two fingers inside her, thumb just pressing slightly at her asshole, “All the other instructors are afraid of you. Mrs. Ice Queen. But I knew you’d melt for me.” She sighs and slides under Joohyun, face up and panting. “You’re so pretty, unnie. I’m glad you chose me.”

Joohyun could cry, mostly because she’s close, mostly because Seulgi’s so sweet and it’s been a while since she wanted someone to be as sweet to her.

Seulgi keeps eating her out sloppy and fast, fingers fucking into her so much it’s audible. Joo’s struggling so hard to keep her legs from slamming shut around Seulgi’s ears, and her hips undulate, riding her tongue as fast as she can while her thighs burn and her ass yells at her. “Oh, fuck, Seulgi, Seulgi, please!”

Then Seulgi smacks her ass and she comes with an uncontrollable squeal, her hips shuddering and her lip bitten to shreds trying to keep in all her moans.

She practically sinks onto Seulgi’s lap, chanting, “Oh my god”, over and over again, chest still stuttering with disbelieving laughs. “That was amazing.”

Joo kisses Seulgi and slips her hand between them, curves her hand where Seulgi’s soaked too. “Fuck,” Seulgi gasps, “Unnie, that feels good.”

So Joo pushes her back and slides down her body desperately, getting Seulgi’s sweatpants only down to her knees before she dives in. She shivers when Seulgi’s hand comes up and pushes her down, fingers tangling in her hair and pushing her cunt up and up into her mouth, riding her face.

“Unnie, you’re gonna make me come…” Her voice gets higher. “You look so good, so good for me…”
Joohyun grabs at her thighs and licks as deep into Seulgi as she can until she scratches at Joo’s back, hips stopping and rolling out her orgasm like a stuttering dance move. When she’s done, Joo lazily kisses her thighs, her pussy, licks at her until she pushes her face away, still giggling. Seulgi’s so relaxed her head falls back and slams hard into the mirror.

“Ouch,” she says quietly and Joo moves up and kisses her head, kisses her face, her mouth. She can taste herself. She hopes Seulgi tastes herself too, knows how sweet she is. “Thanks for kissing it better, unnie,” she whispers, still half moaning into Joo’s mouth. She can’t blame her, Joo’s still playing with her a little, wants a little more time.

Joohyun looks at herself and she barely recognises herself. Mostly because she’s smiling.

She leans in and kisses Seulgi nice and dirty. “Mmm. I’d love a repeat.”

“I’m free this weekend,” Seulgi answers in a rush, leaning back and giggling at herself.

Joo can’t stop smiling. “I’ll pencil you in.”