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hope you think of me high, hope you think of me highly

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It’s one of those things that Katsuki vaguely remembers Kaminari bellowing about for fucking weeks.

He and Sero had burst into Katsuki’s room the morning after, Mina and Ei following at a more sedated pace. They’d acted like they had received some missive from fucking God, with how serious they were about telling them what had happened the night before, their voices pitched for maximum effect.

With a sweep of his arm, Kaminari had let Sero regale them with a tale about how perfect, stupid goodie two shoes Todoroki smoked pot with him and Sero in their shitty dorm room the night before. How blessed they were that they got to be the ones to see their resident Ice Prince smoke weed for the first time.

How Todoroki had showed up in their dorm room to return something or other, how he had, with his shitty typically blank face, asked what they were doing. How he had asked if he could try it after Sero had given a little demonstration into their already hotboxed room. How they packed the bowl for him, explaining as they went, because Todoroki seemed so goddamn curious. How Kaminari had to light it for him, because he wasn’t sure what to do. How hilarious it was when he coughed for a few minutes straight after his first hit and then smiled.

He’d heard the same version of the story from both Sero and Kaminari multiple times in the weeks that followed, told in a baffled but pleased kind of way that made it clear that they thought it was the funniest and weirdest fucking thing that’d ever happened to either of them. Absolute idiots, the both of them.

Maybe Katsuki remembers a little more than he thought he did about this specific fuckin’ occasion that he didn’t even witness, but only because he’s heard it told and retold so many goddamn times to a variety of people in their building.

His mind catches on one specific retelling, to Deku and Angel Face, where Kaminari had embellished the end of his shitty story with a disbelieving shake of his head and a “I just didn’t know he had it in him, ya know? He seems like such a little rule follower.”

The subsequent eye roll from Deku had been surprising, but the incredulous snort and “Yeah, Todoroki has a real healthy respect for rules.” from Ochako had been even more so.

It’s not like Katsuki doesn’t know that Todoroki could give fuck all about rules and authority, in any scenario or enforced by anyone. He does know. He knows vividly and personally. He’s spent enough time with Todoroki in enough contexts to know that Todoroki’s never met a rule or expectation that he hasn’t just completely fucking ignored.

He’s not exactly sure if Todoroki just simply thinks he’s above that shit, or if his wildly strict upbringing has just resulted in an insatiable need to ball the fuck out as he’s gotten older. Now that he has very little stopping him.

Not that it matters to Katsuki; rules govern his life and he likes it that way. Not rules for social etiquette (fuck that) or rules placed by their fucking professors and mentors (gag him), but rules that Katsuki has created for himself and has decided to follow with the ruthless intensity he does with everything else.

He goes to bed at 9:30 every week night, he wakes up at 6:30, he tries to exercise at least once a day. He does all of the readings for his classes, finishes all of his assignments and projects well in advance. He goes to office hours. He calls his mom, begrudgingly, once a week.

He doesn’t drink much. He can be persuaded to have a couple beers with Ei on the weekends if he plays his cards right. He absolutely doesn’t smoke.

Katsuki knows he’s weird and specific and particular for an undergrad, for a person in general, really, but it’s not like he gives a fuck. Structure is the altar that he fucking worships in. Best laid plans, and all that. He’s a lot more successful at a lot more things than most of the idiots he unwillingly associates with.

He’s doing well in his classes and he has a few friends anyway. He tolerates Deku and he’s known Ei since high school, so he puts up with the various add ons that come with his roommate and next door neighbor being two of the most social people he’s ever met. The shitty gaggle of friends that Deku’s amassed and the buffoons that Ei surrounds himself with are, for the most part, tolerable.

For all of his fronting and abrasiveness, he really isn’t all that reckless. He knows what he likes and he sticks to his plans and he, for the most part, enjoys himself. He doesn’t need to get all fucked up to make that happen.

He still thinks about Todoroki smoking a lot, though.

*

He has, unfortunately and by no will or desire of his own, known Todoroki for a few years at this point. Deku had roomed with him during freshman orientation, they’d clicked immediately, and subsequently he hadn’t shut the fuck up about him for a full two months until they started college.

“You’ll like him, Kacchan, I swear! He’s quiet a lot of the time, but his sense of humor is similar to yours.” “We can all be friends, Kacchan! It’ll be great!” “He takes a little bit to get used to, but so do you!” Blah blah blah.

Yeah fucking right.

By the time they’d actually met, a few weeks into the start of their freshman year, Katsuki’d heard so much about Deku’s beloved Todoroki that he was predictably already bent out of shape by the whole fucking thing.

He doesn’t fucking get jealous, but he’s known Deku since they were five and even if there were a few years in middle school where Katsuki was a raging prepubescent dickhead, that didn’t mean some random fucker Deku’d known for three months got to replace him.

What he had been expecting, Katsuki didn’t fucking know. But a too tall, pretty bastard with a gnarly scar on his face and a weird patch of white in the front of his red hair wasn’t it.

Predictably, he had shown up and shown out in true Katsuki fashion, which immediately had Deku “Kacchan!”ing at him in distress.

“What’s up with your fuckin’ hair?”

“Poliosis. What’s up with your fucking face?”

“Ex-fucking-cuse me?”

And that had been that.

*

But not for long, of course. He’d seen Todoroki a few times after that initial disastrous (according to Deku) meeting. Usually chaperoned by Deku and Angel Face. And it was usually blisteringly intense or mind numbingly boring by turns.

Todoroki mostly had this bland, vapid look on his face, like the only thing in his brain was the Wii music playing on loop, which made Katsuki want to shake him. Or his eyes would light up and he would say something so wildly inflammatory that it would make Katsuki splutter in unadulterated rage, which also made Katsuki want to shake him.

They’d study at the library, some combination of them. Or meet in between classes for a snack or to just sit out on the lawn of the quad while the weather was still good. He was not a child. He did not need to be chaperoned. He did not need Deku-sponsored playdates. He had other friends.

It was fucking stupid and Katsuki hated it and Todoroki made him fucking crazy in a way that very few people did. He refused staunchly the first few times, but by the third “But...Kacchan...” paired with Deku’s shitty puppy dog eyes, he knew it was a lost cause.

It was like Deku was trying to force them to get along by sheer exposure, letting them get used to each other in tiny increments at a time before shuttling them away, so they had no time to verbally beat the shit out of each other. Or physically.

This lasted until winter semester their freshman year, where he shouldered into the lecture of his mandatory physics class for the first time only to see the back of Todoroki’s stupid fucking head.

He’d stomped over before he really even knew what he was doing, threw his backpack down in the seat one over from Todoroki and demanded he move his fucking bullshit off the desk, right goddamn now.

Todoroki had looked up at him with his stupid disconcerting eyes, flat expression changing into one of barely evident mirth, and had done as he was told.

“Why are you fuckin’ here? Aren’t you an Environmental Sciences major?”

“I’m in the environmental engineering program.” Todoroki had said, the “dipshit” tagged onto the end was not said out loud, but was very much implied. His mouth had curled in a way that Katsuki knew would make him want to fight with whatever he said next, “Why, you worried I’ll get a better grade than you?”

“I have never been worried about anything in my goddamn life, least of all that. But we’ll fucking see.”

And that, really, had been that.

*

It had taken two months of sniping at one another, one instance of Todoroki putting his shitty, expensive leather backpack into the seat beside him to save Katsuki’s spot on a rare day he had ran late, two disgustingly sweet drinks from the nearest campus coffee shop slammed onto Todoroki’s desk with no comment, and one midterm exam for them to be in each other’s space without a buffer.

And after that, it was easy.

*

He sees Todoroki almost more than he sees Deku now. Which makes Deku smirk, a disgustingly mischievous look that Katsuki knows not to underestimate and will not tolerate.

They meet for dinner in the cafs once a week, even though Todoroki doesn’t have a meal plan. He has no fucking idea how Todoroki gets past the check in people out front, but he won’t give him the satisfaction of asking. Again, with the complete indifference to rules.

They also go to dinner off campus once a week, picking a new place that neither of them have been to each time. It grates, because it was Todoroki’s idea, but it’s one of the things Katsuki looks forward to most each week. He will never say this aloud.

A lot of their time together is spent in the library, working quietly until Todoroki’s no thoughts, head empty ass starts staring off into space or Katsuki snaps a mechanical pencil in distress. They go for meandering walks around the quad, where Katsuki tries without success to push Todoroki into the pond. Sometimes Todoroki will come on his morning runs with him, if he can bribe him out of bed to meet on campus with something sweet that’s going to eventually make his teeth fall out.

Their senses of humor are complementary and all three of them are friends, regardless of how much Katsuki bitches about it. Todoroki is often quiet, but Katsuki thinks that has less to do with him being shy and more to do with him having the conversation skills of a half-dead houseplant and a brain with a default state of Wii music. He has taken more than a little bit to get used to, but Katsuki has gotten used to him anyway.

They’re still mean to each other in a way that’s ironically almost soothing. Sniping and bickering and calling each other names. Katsuki can freely admit that he’s an unfettered dickhead, but Todoroki is just as much of an asshole, only in a different way. It’s nice, to not have to corral and contain certain parts of himself.

Especially when Todoroki’s eyes light up at some perceived challenge, blue and grey like spotlights on Katsuki’s face. He basks in the warmth and calls Todoroki a dumbass motherfucker solely for the way that it makes them both laugh.

*

As far as Katsuki knows, Todoroki still smokes sometimes. Goodie two shoes status revoked, according to Kaminari. He lives off campus in some apartment with the tall girl with the crazy long hair whose name Katsuki always fuckin’ forgets, but whenever he comes to their dorm he stops in Kaminari and Sero’s room and if Katsuki’s in the hall going anywhere he can usually hear them laughing, the low timbre of Todoroki’s voice layered beneath the other two’s chatter.

Sometimes Deku comes back late from Todoroki’s apartment, his eyes a little too squinty to be just tired and his boundless energy quelled. He likes to worm his way into Katsuki’s bed to cuddle like when they were kids and watch Bon Appetit videos while Katsuki taps away at whatever he’s working on, for as long as Katsuki will let him stay.

It’s not like he gives a fuck what Kaminari and Sero get up to, as long as their goddamn RA doesn’t catch them and get their whole floor put on lockdown or some bullshit. He babysits Mina when she routinely forgets how many edibles she can handle and he spends most of his weekends pouring Ei and Deku back into their rooms when they try to outdrink each other. Obviously he doesn’t fucking, like, love it, but they’re unfortunately his friends, no matter how long he’s denied it. He will take care of them, unenthusiastically.

Katsuki drinks a little, enough to know his limits, and he avoids smoking no matter what straight edge bullshit Kaminari and Sero goad him with. Doesn’t mean he doesn’t wonder, sometimes, but he’s really, truly just not fucking interested.

He’s not caught up in it, or anything. It’s not like he has a complex about it. He just thinks about it a little sometimes, when his brain is quiet and there’s nothing else taking up any space. About Todoroki. About what it might be like, about what he’s like.

*

Todoroki and the tall girl’s apartment is a lot homier than he expected. He knows they both have money, a fucking lot of money, although he isn’t quite sure about Todoroki’s home life right now if what Deku mentions occasionally has any merit. It’s not huge, but it’s nice, and it isn’t a goddamn dorm room on campus. Which is what counts.

It’s the first time he’s been here even though he’s known Todoroki for years, dragged by his arm at Deku’s fucking behest. It’s warm and well lit and they’ve got art on the walls that doesn’t match at all, which makes Katsuki’s mouth quirk into a smile that he has to forcibly turn into a smirk.

Most of the people standing around the living room and kitchen he already knows, so it’s not that bad when Deku immediately leaves his side to do whatever the fuck it is he does here. Ei and the rest of his idiots will be here soon.

He makes his way past a few clusters of people and pilfers a beer from the fridge, then edges around the room to look at a frankly fuck off huge book shelf in one of the corners. He’s trying to subtly pick out which books are Todoroki’s and which are ponytail girl’s, head tilted to the side to read the titles.

“Hello.”

Todoroki’s all of a sudden just fucking there when he whips around. He’s tall enough that Katsuki has to look up, which always makes him a little fucking salty. And he’s in Katsuki’s space.

“Christ, get a fucking bell.”

Todoroki mouth quirks a little at the edges and it makes Katsuki jam his hands into his pockets and squeeze them until his knuckles pop.

“What’s going on, shithead?” is all Katsuki can bring himself to say.

He watches as Todoroki casts what appears to be an unaffected glance around the living room.

“There are a lot of people in my house.” is what he says after a moment, and yeah, Katsuki gets that. He knows from the way that Todoroki always gets a little twitchy in big crowds, steps a little closer into Katsuki’s space, that a lot of people isn’t really his thing.

“Sure are.” He watches as Todoroki turns back toward him, as his gaze starts from Katsuki’s feet and ends up on his face.

He feels a little warm, bargains with whoever is out there that it doesn’t show on his face. But he lets Todoroki look.

“I like your sweater.”

It’s the soft green one that his mom got him for his birthday a few years ago, he knows from his parents’ many claims that it flatters his coloring.

He also knows that Todoroki mentions it whenever he wears this color. It’s why he saves it for special occasions.

*

By the time he’s realized it, there’s nobody left in the living room aside from him and Todoroki. They’ve all left to go to the bar or go hook up somewhere else or whatever the fuck people do on Friday nights, calling goodbyes from the front door.

Deku had popped up behind the couch they’re both sitting on, pressed kisses to the tops of both of their heads before Katsuki could swipe at him, and disappeared out the front door.

It’s not like he and Todoroki don’t spend a majority of the time they’re together sitting in comfortable silence, but the stark distinction between the background noise chatter of all of their friends and the sudden quiet of both of them breathing is pretty fuckin’ intense.

Todoroki can go for a real long time without talking, and while normally he doesn’t mind, tonight it puts Katsuki on edge. Say something, he wills. Let’s watch a movie, fucking anything, he just doesn’t want to go home yet.

There’s a hole in the knee of his jeans that he’s entirely focused on when Todoroki finally asks, “Want to keep watching Moonshiners?”

They’ve gotten hopelessly addicted to weird American shows on the Discovery Channel, mostly because it’s easy to sink time into them without having to pay too much attention so they’re still able to do work. It’s easy to watch it in the common room of the dorm so when people interrupt or are loud as fuck, it doesn’t really matter. They’ve gotten Deku into it too.

He tries to kick the back of Todoroki’s knee when he stands up to get his laptop hooked up to the TV, but he misses and flops back onto the couch. It’s a nice fucking couch, honestly.

They watch less than a whole fucking episode before Todoroki starts to fidget. Katsuki pointedly ignores him shifting into a bunch of different positions on the couch and does not look at him under any circumstances when he starts drumming his fingers on his knee.

He lasts two more minutes before he’s glaring at Todoroki, “What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“Nothing. I’m fine. What’s wrong with you?”

He doesn’t even deign that worthy of a fucking response.

They’re able to get through another episode before Todoroki is talking again.

“You ever smoked before?” Todoroki’s voice is so goddamn deep that hearing it all of a sudden makes something warm drop in Katsuki’s stomach.

He can feel the crease between his eyebrows as he scowls at Todoroki, “You know I fuckin’ haven’t.”

“Well, do you want to?” Todoroki always talks so goddamn slow, spaces between all his words like he’s deliberating each one before he says it. Usually it makes Katsuki grind his fucking teeth because talk fucking faster, you idiot, but right now it’s almost electric in its slowness, has him waiting to see what falls out of that stupid fucking mouth next.

He shrugs, and he knows it isn’t really an answer but he doesn’t want to seem too eager, or too uninterested. Or too much of anything really. He’s gotta keep Todoroki on his toes.

“Momo makes me keep all our shit under the coffee table in case her parents drop by, but she smokes as much as I do. If not more.” Todoroki takes his feet off said coffee table and leans forward to grab a quite frankly adorable little tray with handles on it from the shelf underneath the table. It looks wildly innocuous in his hands.

Momo. That’s the ponytail girl’s name. He’s gotta remember that.

Todoroki puts it on the top of the table and turns back toward him. It’s the same spotlight feeling it always is, the flip switch ability Todoroki has, to go from looking at something blankly to looking at something. Warmth sloshes in Katsuki’s belly and it surely can’t fucking be from his one beer.

The atmosphere right now is intense for absolutely no fucking reason, the space between them like a living thing.

“You don’t have to.” is all Todoroki says, his voice and face carefully neutral. “I don’t want you to feel forced.”

“I don’t have to do a goddamn thing I don’t want to do.”

“I am fully aware of this, from unfortunate and reoccuring experience.” The eye roll along with Todoroki’s usual deadpan loosens something in Katsuki’s chest. He breathes out, slow, and wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans.

“I want to.” It’s a little quieter than Katsuki’s normal speaking voice, but it isn’t something he’s fully realized until right now. When he scrutinizes it from all angles, he comes to the conclusion that it’s true.

He wants to try it, at least once. With Todoroki, mostly. He’s been thinking about it abstractly for the almost full year he’s known that Todoroki smokes. Yeah, he could easily smoke with fuckin’ Sero and Kaminari, but they’re unbearably annoying at the best of times and he would be ruthlessly made fun of until he died. Or until he killed them. He doesn’t have fucking time for that. Todoroki will probably still make fun of him, but in a more palatable way. In the same quiet, snarky way he always makes fun of Katsuki, where it doesn’t grate too much. Where it’s fun, instead of insufferable.

Todoroki’s eyebrows raise and he tucks a lock of white hair behind his ear before shifting forward and picking up the tray on the coffee table with the little colorful pipe and putting it onto his lap.

Katsuki watches as he does something else with a small wooden cylinder and the colorful pipe, his long fingers nimble and quick and practiced. He can’t stop looking at them.

After a little bit, Todoroki puts the tray back on the table and grabs a brightly colored novelty lighter off of it and brings it and the pipe up to his mouth. Katsuki leans a little closer and tries to watch every single movement, tries to catalogue everything he’s doing.

The flick of the lighter is muffled and quiet due to Katsuki’s heart beating in his fucking ears. He watches as Todoroki inhales deep and holds it, watches as he eventually leans back into the couch and tips his head back and blows out the smoke from his stupid, perfect mouth.

It’s sexy. Todoroki is competent and loose and attractive and annoyingly sexy. Watching him smoke makes Katsuki’s fingertips tingle with the desire to touch him.

After a few seconds Todoroki reaches out and hands the pipe and the lighter to him. Katsuki doesn’t know what else to do aside from take them.

He looks down at both of them in his hand and has never felt so wildly out of his goddamn element before in his life. What the actual fuck.

“I—I don’t…I’m not fuckin’—” It’s all he can get out. Not knowing how to do things makes him prickly, defensive and mean.

He isn’t fucking sure how to do this, but to admit that out loud makes heat start to rise up the back of his neck. He’s not going to admit a fucking thing to goddamn Todoroki.

When Katsuki glances back up, Todoroki is looking at him already, eyes half lidded.

The eyelashes of his right eye are white, the same lack of color as the white that stands out so starkly in his red hair. For a ridiculous stupid moment, Katsuki thinks about brushing his fingers against them.

“I can shotgun it to you, if you want?”

Katsuki’s not quite sure what that even fucking means but if it involves him not looking like an actual goddamn idiot in front of Todoroki, he’s fine with it.

He makes a grumbled noise acquiescing, one that he knows Todoroki can interpret with little thought. It makes him feel warm from the crown of his head to the bottom of his belly, that Todoroki knows him like that.

“Turn towards me.”

Katsuki is doing it before he’s even really thought about it, sitting criss cross fucking applesauce on stupid Todoroki’s stupid couch in his stupid apartment, compliant in a way he never really is. Especially with dumb fucking Todoroki.

Fingers close around the pipe and lighter in his own hand before Katsuki realizes. They’re soft and smooth and just this side of cold against Katsuki’s sweaty fucking palms. He wants to slide their hands together so badly, more than anything he’s wanted in his stupid, shitty life.

“When I breathe out, you breathe in, okay?”

The lighter flicks again. Katsuki’s been too fucking preoccupied with staring at his own palms and thinking about Todoroki’s goddamn hands to pay attention to what Todoroki is doing until one of his lightly chilled palms cups the side of Katsuki’s face.

They are—they are really goddamn close all of a sudden.

Todoroki’s turned towards him now, edging closer like there’s magnets in their chests that want to touch, one of his knees bent and foot pressed flat to his inner thigh.

His other palm, the one not on Katsuki’s fucking face, drops to one of Katsuki’s knees. It’s warm through his jeans and onto his skin underneath, courtesy of Todoroki’s fucked up circulation problems. He wants those goddamn hands on him.

Pressure from Todoroki’s thumb on the hinge of his jaw makes him open his mouth a little, feeling stupid as all fuck.

He blinks and when he opens his eyes, Todoroki is already fucking there, face so fucking close that Katsuki could count his mismatched eyelashes if he wanted to. His heartbeat is so loud in his ears and he barely remembers the directions Todoroki gave him earlier—breathe in? What? What does that even fucking mean? This is fucking stupid.

The cold fingers on his jaw tilt his head to the side a little bit and Todoroki parts his stupid, pretty lips and then their open mouths are practically touching. He can hear Todoroki exhale and can see wisps of smoke out of the corner of his eyes, and oh, okay, breathe in. He can do that.

He inhales as Todoroki exhales, hyper conscious of the two points of contact they share in Todoroki’s hands on him and the one that they don’t, Todoroki’s mouth just a few centimeters too far away.

“Hold it for a little bit before you exhale.” Todoroki is practically speaking against his fucking mouth, his hands still cold warm on him.

He does what Todoroki says, mostly because he has fuck all of an idea of what he’s doing. He feels like a dumb little kid holding his breath on purpose, trying to pass out so he can piss his mom off. After a few seconds, the thumb on his knee taps a few times and he exhales, watching the smoke dissipate between them.

“You might cough a lit—” before he can even finish, Katsuki is bent over double between them, trying not to cough up his fucking lungs. Jesus, this is what people do for fucking fun?

The same cool hand that was on his face is now on his shoulder, patting gently until the coughing subsides.

“Christ.” is all Katsuki can say when he sits back up, sneering at the light smile on Todoroki’s face.

“It’ll get easier.” Yeah, easy for a fucking stoner to say.

They look at each other quietly for a bit, Katsuki’s face red from the coughing and from the attention. He doesn’t really feel anything yet. It’s been a good few minutes. How fast is it supposed to work?

Todoroki tilts his head to the side a little, which always makes Katsuki want to fucking scream, and asks, “Again?”

It’s easier this time. The proximity still makes him jittery, but he listens for the flick of the lighter and Todoroki’s inhale. He doesn’t need a thumb to his jaw to open his mouth, he does it willingly.

Todoroki is closer though, this time, something his lizard hindbrain takes immediate notice of, and this time both of his hands cup Katsuki’s face in a way that makes him a little boneless.

Their lips touch, just a little, as Todoroki exhales and Katsuki inhales, but neither of them move away.

He only coughs a bit after and he absolutely doesn’t miss the hint of pride in Todoroki’s expression. It makes his entire body burn.

Licking his lips, he looks down at his lap. Todoroki has mirrored him now, criss cross applesauce, knees touching Katsuki’s. Something about it is so childish and stupid and it makes his mouth curve in a way that he hates viciously because he can’t stop it. He presses the back of his palm to his mouth to hide it and starts when Todoroki’s fingers circle his wrist, tugging the hand away.

When he glances back up, Todoroki’s expression is unreadable. They spend a few seconds just looking at each other, before Katsuki brings himself to say, “More?”

Time passes a little weirdly because before he can track what Todoroki is doing, he’s already back in his space. Both hands cupping his jaw again, and oh wow, he’s like really aware of the pressure of Todoroki’s hands on his face. It’s, uh, really nice.

Todoroki closes his eyes but Katsuki keeps his open, watches him get close, all smooth skin and different colored eyelashes, and open his mouth. Exhale, inhale.

Their lips touch again. Katsuki has the fucking absurd thought that he can’t remember the last time he put on chapstick. His lips get so damn chapped. He needs to start drinking more water, gotta stay hydrated. His lips always get chapped when he doesn’t drink enough water. Todoroki’s lips are so fucking soft. Fuck.

He’s kissed people before, fucking obviously. This isn’t kissing, exactly, but it’s just as intimate in a way that’s kind of world rocking. They’re just like, breathing each other’s fucking air. On purpose.

Todoroki pulls away and smiles, a barely there thing that Katsuki knows is practically akin to unbridled joy. He doesn’t even cough that much when he exhales this time.

“Okay, that’s probably enough for now. Don’t want to get you too high. Especially for your first time.”

Katsuki’s brain sure is processing those words.

He’s pretty sure he nods before leaning back into the couch. His attention immediately gets caught on Moonshiners and he literally cannot look away.

Todoroki, who apparently had gotten up and come back without Katsuki noticing, passes him a glass of water and one of the brownies he’d been eyeing in the kitchen earlier. Deku had assured him, multiple times, that they were just regular brownies and while Katsuki would die for him in a second, he trusts Deku about as far as he can throw him. He trusts pothead Todoroki a little more in this instance.

He spends what is probably way too long eating the brownie, picking off little pieces of it while absolutely entranced by Moonshiners. He almost straight up forgets that Todoroki is there until he catches red and white out of the corner of his eye.

If he thinks about anything for too long, he kind of loses track somewhere in the middle, thoughts spiraling and spiraling into weird tangled messes, like a fucked up concept map, but overall he actually feels really nice. A little floaty, real aware of his body in space. He kind of feels like he’s melting into the couch.

Katsuki tries to broach this topic with Todoroki, but what ends up coming out of his mouth is “I am like, really fucking aware of how my teeth feel in my mouth right now.”

He doesn’t realize what the noise he’s hearing over the sound of Moonshiners is until he turns his head and looks, and oh, it’s Todoroki laughing. Like really fucking hard. His smile is so nice, goddamn.

“Yeah? Sometimes that happens.” He’s got no fucking idea what they were just talking about but Todoroki’s smile is so nice that he can’t help but smile back.

Multiple episodes of Moonshiners pass. He can’t keep track of the plot and absolutely cannot read the subtitles. The accent the moonshiners speak in sounds even more like garbled nonsense. Normally he can get at least a few of the English words but right now he absolutely can’t.

Katsuki feels like he’s both hyperaware of every part of his body and absolutely not at the same time. It’s so nice. Especially when he tips over on the couch and pushes his head into Todoroki’s lap. Those longer fingers tangle into his hair and scratch his scalp and the feeling is un-fucking-comparable to anything else he’s ever experienced. He feels like a cat in the best possible way. Staying here forever sounds like, the fucking best.

He’s not entirely sure how long Todoroki plays with his hair but eventually he slides out from under Katsuki and goes somewhere else for a little bit.

The only thing he’s currently capable of doing is just, lying there and watching old guys get arrested for making illegal moonshine in the woods. It may be the most relaxed he’s ever been in his entire life.

Todoroki comes back eventually and has to practically peel Katsuki up off the couch. He lets Todoroki manhandle him into sitting upright, aware of his hands in a lovely kind of way. Once he’s sitting, Todoroki tugs him closer so Katsuki can practically melt against him.

Oh, this is nice.

“I agree.”

What? When he glances up and over at Todoroki, he’s smirking, his eyes all crinkled up. He looks so nice.

“I know you have an unparalleled personal vendetta against instant noodles, but here.” He leans over and grabs the little plastic container off the coffee table and hands it to Katsuki.

Once he gets his wits back enough about him to use chopsticks, he can willingly admit that his opinion of instant noodles has risen just a bit. This the best thing he’s ever tasted. Holy fuck.

They eat and watch more fucking Moonshiners. Time passes so slow but he finds that he likes it. He can feel Todoroki’s body heat all along one side of his body. His brain feels a little bit like static, but in a kind of cool way.

After a while, Todoroki pauses the show and leans back. Katsuki mirrors him, head resting on the back of the couch. They sit there, faces turned toward each other, and just look at each other for a bit. It’s soft and nice and Katsuki wants to touch his face but his arm is just this side of too heavy and it sounds like a lot of work.

“You good? Feeling okay?” His voice is soft and deep and it feels like a secret when he asks, between just the two of them. Their heads are tilted so close together. His eyes catch on the part of Todoroki’s hair that’s white and he wonders for a few seconds if it feels any different than the rest of his hair.

Todoroki cares. He always cares about how Katsuki is doing, even if sometimes he’s a dickhead about asking.

“No, I’m good. Like really fuckin’ good. I feel good.”

“Say good again.”

“Shut the fuck up.”

And then they’re laughing, so fucking hard. It’s barely funny but Katsuki just feels so good, he loves being here with Todoroki, being this close and in this weird quiet space together.

Todoroki’s laugh hiccups out of him which only makes Katsuki laugh harder, because he sounds so fucking stupid, and he can’t catch his breath.

They flop their heads back on the couch again and Katsuki has to wipe honest to god tears from his face. He’s not sure if he’s ever laughed that fucking hard before. He doesn’t even know why, just that he feels good and he’s so happy to be here.

And so he says that, and gets to watch, up close, how it transforms Todoroki’s face. How it dusts pink onto his cheeks and makes his eyes crinkle in the corners.

“Thanks.” He’s not entirely sure why he says it, but he means it. He means it so much. Things are quiet now, and intense in a way that’s different than earlier, but still charged.

“For what?”

“I don’t know, for fuckin’ everything. All of it.”

Todoroki’s mouth curves into a smile and it’s all he can do not to press his own mouth to it.

“You’re welcome. Always.”

They sit for a few minutes in that quiet, still looking at each other until Todoroki eventually stands up and turns his laptop and TV off.

“Come on, let’s go to bed. You can wear some of my pajamas.”

He lets Todoroki tug him off the couch and doesn’t let go of his hand until they make it to his room. He promises himself he’ll diligently inspect Todoroki’s bedroom in the morning and just focuses on getting all of his limbs in the right holes of his borrowed sweats and t-shirt.

“You can use my toothbrush.”

“I am absolutely going to use your fuckin’ toothbrush.”

The light in the bathroom is bright and makes Katsuki blink rapidly, but he watches as Todoroki brushes his teeth and gets ready for bed. It’s kind of sweet, that he gets to see this, and it makes him full body warm in a stupid kind of way.

He trails after Todoroki after brushing his own teeth and slides in next to him in bed once they decide who gets inside. He feels really good, calm in a way that’s not usual for him but he can still appreciate it. And so, so sleepy.

Todoroki’s bed is comfortable, and smells nice, like him. He pushes and manhandles Todoroki until he’s able to sidle up against him, tucked right up under his arm.

“How many episodes did we end up watching?” is what he says instead of goodnight, and he snorts into the side of Todoroki’s neck when he responds with, “Like six and a half.”

It’s beyond easy to fall asleep.

*

He wakes up before Todoroki, fucking predictably.

The light filtering in from Todoroki’s open window is warm and buttery, probably perfect for plants. Maybe he’ll get him a little cactus or something. Because they’re both pricks.

Ha, he makes himself fucking laugh.

For a few minutes he just lies still, committing the hazy, warm feeling of the morning to memory, the soft way Todoroki breathes, and the weight of his arm draped across Katsuki’s waist.

Eventually he slips out of bed, but not before sweeping Todoroki’s bangs out of his face. The white hair doesn’t feel any different, it’s just as soft on the pads of his fingers as the red. He files that away for later, buoyed by knowing the answer to something he’d been wondering about.

He spends a few minutes scrounging up everything he needs to make eggs, then spends even longer looking for a fucking frying pan in the too-stocked-but-with-weird-unnecessary-shit kitchen. Thinking about Todoroki trying to use a mandoline gives him heart palpitations, there’s no way that would end without a trip to the hospital room.

The soft shuffling of Todoroki pushing himself onto a stool at the island is what eventually makes Katsuki look up. He’s just about done with making breakfast and he starts plating all their shit so he doesn’t have to look at how absolutely fucking soft Todoroki looks.

They don’t talk for a bit, mostly because Todoroki can’t be bothered to speak for the first twenty minutes he’s awake, and because Katsuki is too focused on looking anywhere aside from at him.

When he does eventually bring himself to talk, it’s just, “Where’s Momo?”

Fuck yeah, he remembered her name. A win for the ages.

“Mmm. At her girlfriend’s, probably.”

They eat breakfast at the high top counter together. Katsuki kicks Todoroki, hard, in the shin for the crime of “Quit fucking looking at me, bastard.” Todoroki just scoffs and kicks him back.

It’s, for lack of a better word, nice.

“Did you have a good time last night?” is what Todoroki asks him as he’s loading their breakfast dishes into the dishwasher. He’s lightly surprised that Todoroki even knows how to do that. Hidden depths, he supposes.

“Yeah, sure did. You?”

He rests his face in one of his palms, watches Todoroki putter around the kitchen. He could do this more often, this right here, watching Todoroki do stupid shit in the comfort of this apartment, domestic as all hell, he thinks. It would be the easiest thing in the goddamn world.

“I did. I liked smoking with you.” Todoroki doesn’t turn around from where he’s washing pans to say it, but it still lands and settles, weighty and perfect, right in Katsuki’s chest.

“Yeah? I liked smoking with you too.”

He watches as Todoroki’s shoulders tick up a little bit, the tips of his ears red preemptively.

“Shotgunning was nice. We could do it again, maybe?” is what he ends up with, and it makes Katsuki smirk something fucking awful.

“Bet you do that for all the fuckin’ boys.”

“No,” Todoroki turns away from the sink, resting a hip against it and propping himself up with a palm on the counter. The look he gives Katsuki makes him still, quiet and caught, “just you.”

Jesus fucking Christ.

Neither of them say anything for a full thirty seconds, which is way to goddamn long to be staring at each other and saying nothing. They’re both blushing furiously, Katsuki can feel it on his own face and he can fucking see it on Todoroki’s. This is agony.

“We don’t need to smoke for you to put your fucking lips on mine, you know that right?”

Todoroki’s eyebrows go all the way fucking up and it makes Katsuki want to scream through his goddamn teeth. What are they even doing here. Absolute fucking buffoonery.

“Do I?”

“Do you what, dickpunch?”

“Know that I can kiss you?”

Katsuki throws his head back and groans out loud.

“Yes! Are you thick? C’mere, right now.”

Todoroki, thank fucking god, does as he’s told. He comes around the island slowly, like Katsuki is a wild animal he’s trying not to spook. The ugly rec volleyball t-shirt from the league Deku made them all join last spring looks so nice across his shoulders. He’s so stupidly tall that Katsuki is basically at eye level with him while sitting on the high stool at the island.

They’re still like a foot apart when he comes to a stop, because Todoroki is apparently an idiot who doesn’t fully understand basic commands.

“Oh my god, come closer.” He leans forward to grab one of Todoroki’s hands and tugs, spreading his legs so Todoroki can step between them. He comes willingly, if not enthusiastically, and rests his hands on the tops of Katsuki’s thighs. Something warm curls up inside of him.

“Are you sure?”

He’s never been more sure of anything in his entire fucking life.

“Todoroki, shut up,” he puts his hand on the nape of Todoroki’s neck, entire body thrilling at the casual touch, “and kiss me for real.”

Todoroki’s hands come up to cradle his face, thumbs stroking his cheekbones in delicate little swipes. His hands are a little wet from washing their stuff from breakfast and they smell tangy and fruity, like dish soap. Nothing has ever been as good.

They kiss in chaste little pecks at first, feeling each other out. It’s slow and sweet and warm and even if Katsuki’s distantly aware of his chapped lips, it’s still really fucking good.

Someone eventually opens their mouth, and okay, now they’re really fucking getting somewhere. It’s easier to be so close when they aren’t fucking breathing smoke between them. Todoroki tastes like the apple juice he had with breakfast and the hand that slides up into the hair at Katsuki’s nape feels absolutely perfect.

They make out in Todoroki’s kitchen for a good few minutes before Katsuki pulls back with what he can feel is an absolutely fiendish grin on his face. Todoroki looks gobsmacked, his hair ruffled from Katsuki’s wandering hands, lips a little swollen and shiny. Hell fucking yeah.

“Oh.”

“Yeah, fucking oh.

Todoroki brushes his lips with the tips of his fingers, looking flushed and surprised and perfect, and Katsuki straight up has to dig his fingers into his own thighs to curb the noise he almost makes at the sight.

He looks back at Katsuki after a few seconds and tilts his head to the side, his cheeks still lightly pink. He licks his lips, which Katsuki tracks with his eyes, incapable of looking away, and says, “Again?”

Fuck yeah, again. Again forever. Again whenever he wants until the end of fucking time.

He slides off the stool and makes Todoroki lean down to meet him, looping his arms around the back of his neck and pressing them flush together.

God, it’s so good Katsuki feels dizzy with it.

Eventually, Todoroki, out of breath, pulls away and rests his forehead in the crook of Katsuki’s neck. When he speaks, Katsuki can feel his lips move against his skin and has to forcibly suppress a shudder.

“I, uh, wanted to kiss you last night. But I didn’t think it’d be appropriate to kiss you when you were high for the first time.”

That’s kind of sweet, actually.

“That’s corny as hell.”

Todoroki nips at him, right at the spot where his neck slopes into his shoulder, and he full body fucking twitches. Jesus.

He drags his face up to press against Katsuki’s hair, the tip of his nose just on this side of chilly.

“Your hair smells like weed.”

“I wonder fucking why.”

They stand there for a little bit, sunlight coming in from the window on the far side of the kitchen and warmth coming from them being all pressed up together. Todoroki muffles a yawn into the side of his neck and drapes his long ass arms over Katsuki’s shoulders. When he leans most of his body weight on Katsuki, he takes it like a champ and doesn’t even fucking move. He doesn’t do all of those core exercises for nothing.

“Let’s take a nap.”

“Fucking what.”

He reiterates slowly like Katsuki's fucking stupid, “I said, let’s take a nap.”

Katsuki rolls his eyes into the back of his head, “Yeah, I fucking heard you, you sleepy bitch. But considering that it’s ten in the morning on a Saturday, I was hoping that you weren’t dumb enough to say that we should go back to sleep.”

“We’ll take a nap, watch more Moonshiners when we wake up, get high again, maybe make out a little bit more, and then I’ll suck you off. You gotta experience coming while high.”

Katsuki fucking chokes, swallowing air wrong, and bats away Todoroki’s hand when he attempts to thump him on the back.

The look on Todoroki’s face is down right criminal. Like he knows what he did, and he did it on purpose and he wants Katsuki to know that.

Fuck, that’s going to be dangerous. In the best possible way. He can feel the answering smirk curl across his mouth.

“Well, lead the way, motherfucker.”