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Having It All

Chapter Text

Taisho Yash lay on the futon in his bedroom; his girlfriend, Higurashi Kagome, was curled up next to him. Her hand was fisting his silver chest hair, tightening and loosening her grip on it as she slept. Her hair was pulled up in a messy bun, with lots of blue-black tendrils escaping about her face. Yash smiled. She was so like a little lost kitten when she slept: scrunched up face, pink little nose, tiny frown playing on her lips, and that hand in his chest hair! He sighed and pulled her closer to him.

Yash thought back to what he knew about his girl. He knew that she’d been in a long-term relationship before him, one that had ended badly. She never fully explained to him what happened, but her scent when she talked about it told him that that if he ever met the guy, he’d probably tear him apart. He also knew her powers were erratic and caused her a lot of concern. She’d purified one youkai in high school, and apparently had used her powers against one of her classmates in her program (he growled silently at that, knowing there were other men at this university who’d tasted his Kagome), yet with him, her powers remained sated. She came from a shrine family, who he had yet to meet, and she wanted to return there to work and study eventually. She was brave, loyal, ambitious, and committed. She was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, and he’d been alive a long time and seen a lot of women. But none had the blue-black hair she had; none had the fierce, stormy eyes; none had the body that was a perfect mix of soft and hard.

“Inuyasha,” she muttered, clenching his chest hair so tightly he gasped. His heart stopped for a brief moment. No one called him by his full name, and yet, even as she slept, she said it, so sweetly and so innocently, it made him wonder why exactly he so hated the sound of his own name.

Of course he knew why he fucking hated it so much. That name was associated with years of bullying, of mocking, of abuse.

But when she said it, all those years melted away, and it was just the two of them, there, on his futon, one of them sleeping, one wide awake.

Her scent suddenly changed; her eyes were moving rapidly under her eyelids; her breathing was becoming raspy. She was having a nightmare.

Kagome yanked on Yash’s chest hair; his breath hitched. Her breathing quickened and she was making hoarse little whining sounds. “Hojo,” she said. “Please.”

Hojo. Who the fuck was Hojo?

“Hojo,” she said again. “Please. Please don’t!” Her breathing was now increasingly ragged. Kagome let go of Yash and curled in on herself. The air was full of the scent of her tears. Yash rolled over and pulled her flush against his chest, stroking her hair gently with one hand.

“Kagome,” he said, “Shh. I’m here. I’m here, and I love you. I love you. It’s okay.”

Kagome started to push frantically back against Yash, her breathing now erratic. He refused to let her go. “Kagome,” he said, a little louder and more desperate. “Please. Please wake up!”

Kagome’s eyes flew open. They looked around the room, taking everything in, eventually settling on Yash, whose golden eyes were aflame with worry for her.

“Kagome?” he asked tentatively. She blinked slowly.

“Yash?” she replied.

Relief flooded his body, and he held onto her as though she might crumble away.

She sighed. “Yash,” she said again, allowing him to hold her tightly, her arms circling his chest. “I’m…I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about,” he said immediately, his face buried in her hair. Her scent was still wracked with fear. He kissed her hair, her ears, her nose…whatever he could do to set her at ease. “Do you wanna talk?” he asked.

“You won’t like it,” she mumbled.

“Try me,” he said.

“I was dreaming about Hojo.”

“Who the fuck is Hojo?”

“My ex.”

“You mean—” Yash didn’t know how to finish that sentence.

Kagome sighed. “Are you sure you want to hear this?”

He nuzzled her hair. “I’m sure.”

Kagome took a slow, deep breath. “Okay.” She took another deep breath, let it out, and shuddered.

“The night I left Hojo,” she began. “The night I left him, it wasn’t because I was unhappy.” She paused. “I mean, I was, but that’s not the only reason why I left him. I left because he was abusive: psychologically, emotionally, and then, the night I left…physically.” Kagome sighed. “He was always making comments about my work: it was worthless, it was a waste of my time, and what did it matter what I did since I was going to marry him and just be a housewife, anyway? He saw my work as a dalliance; something to do while I waited around for him to propose.” She snorted, trying to hold in her tears. “Obviously, it’s much more than that. When I stayed on for the doctoral program, he commented it was because I wanted to continue my ‘relationship’” —here she used scare quotes— “with my mentor, Imura-sensei, who’s a hanyou like you. I tried to ignore it as best I could. I really did.

“But then one night I was out late working on a class project. Hojo shamed me into coming home, he made innuendos about my relationship with Imura-sensei, and then he…” She took a deep breath. She’d never told anyone but her mother what happened. “He hit me. He hit me so hard I fell.” Now her eyes did fill with tears.

Yash started to growl; he stroked her hair tenderly, hoping that his growl sounded more comforting to her than it felt. Because he was going to kill this guy.

“Then he kicked me,” Kagome continued in a shuddering voice. “He kicked me, over and over. He called me a defiled miko and said no one would ever want me. I pretended to pass out so that he’d leave me alone.” The tears spilled over and down her cheeks. “As soon as he left, I threw some things into a few duffels, and then I went home. My mother came to get the rest of my things for me. She helped me find an apartment.” Kagome smiled through her tears. “My mother saved me, Yash.”

Inuyasha’s growls were becoming louder; his fangs dipped below his lip in his anger. He lifted Kagome up so they were face-to-face. “Where is this Hojo bastard now?” he demanded.

“Nowhere,” Kagome answered. “Please, please, Yash. Please just let it go.”

“Obviously he’s not nowhere, baby girl,” he retorted. “I’m gonna find him and kill him.”

It’s okay,” she said pleadingly. “Please don’t dredge this up for me.”

“It’s already dredged up, ‘Gome,” he replied. “You’re in my bed having fucking nightmares about this.”

“I have them…off and on,” she said haltingly. “I just haven’t had one around you before. Not any this bad anyway,” she added.

Yash pulled her face flush with his and kissed her cheeks tenderly, licking away her tears. Kagome let in a sudden gasp of air. “Shhh,” Yash said soothingly. “Let me take care of you, baby girl.” He kissed her nose, her lips, her chin. “You spent eight years with that fucker,” he said. “But you’ve never had anyone but your mama take care of you. Let me try.”

Kagome shook a little in his arms. “Inuyasha,” she murmured.

He covered his lips with hers, desperate to show her his love, desperate to take away her pain. “Please.” Now he was the one pleading with her. “Please let me love you.”

Kagome quivered and pressed her lips to his, just as desperate to love him as he was to love her. She slipped her arms around his neck, pulling him close, her thin t-shirt the only thing blocking their bodies from being in full contact with each other. She tangled her hands in his hair; he scented her tears and sensed her love for him and her sadness.

“Why are you still crying, baby girl?” he asked.

Kagome took a deep, shuddering breath against his lips. “Because I love you so much,” she whispered. “I love you so much, and when I think about where I was a year ago, and where I am now, it’s crazy that was even my life. That this is my life.”

“This could be your life all the time, you know,” he whispered, running his hands up under her t-shirt, palming her breasts gently, pinching her nipples.

“What—what do you mean?” she asked breathily between moans.

“Come live with me, baby girl,” he said huskily. “You and me. Here. Every day and every night.”

That made Kagome pull away from him. “What—what did you just say?”

Fuck. He had neither expected to ask her that, nor to get that response.

“Um…move in with me?” Now he couldn’t look her in the face.

Kagome was silent for a long time. Slowly, she took his hand in hers, absently rubbing the back of it with her thumb.

“Yash,” she said softly, “that’s…I mean…”

“It’s a lot,” he said, embarrassed. “It’s too much. Forget I asked.”

“It’s not that,” she replied. “I…we just…we haven’t really told anyone about us yet.”

“So?” he said.

“Me moving in here would be…well.” She giggled. “We’d kind of have to admit we’re together, you know?”

He pulled her back close to him, and kissed her gently. “And what’s so wrong with that?”

“I can’t lose my job, Yash,” she said. “And neither can you. Not over this.”

“So then quit,” he said immediately. “You wouldn’t need the extra income. Let me take care of you.”

She sighed into his chest. “Yash, you know me,” she replied. “You know I can’t just up and quit. I’ve worked really hard, and I like being the team manager. I don’t want to quit.” She looked up into his face; her heart broke a little at the fear and pleading in his golden eyes. “You don’t want to lose the best team manager you’ve ever had, do you?” she asked teasingly, trying to lighten the mood.

He snorted. “If it means I get to tell everyone how I feel about you, then yes. It’s worth it.” He kissed the top of her head. “Fuck it all, baby girl, I love you. I want everyone to know that I love you. Unless…” He lowered his eyes in shame. He didn’t want to finish that sentence. Kagome knew what he was thinking.

“Okay,” she acquiesced. “Let me think about it.”

Yash grinned, his fangs peeking out over his bottom lip. “Really?”

She reached up and kissed him. Hard. “Really. And we need to talk about it more. But first…” she took his hand and guided it back under her t-shirt. “I think we were in the middle of something, no?”

Yash growled and licked his lips, squeezing her breast lightly. She moaned his name in response. Her aura pushed forward in her excitement, but this time, instead of his youki comforting her, her reiki surrounded them both, providing a warm blanket under which they could make love.

Because this time, that’s what it was. He was tender and gentle, more so than usual. It was as if he was afraid to be rough with her, afraid he was going to scare her away.

But the truth was, nothing could scare her away. She loved him. She just didn’t know if she was ready to live with someone again. But she needed to show him, to reassure him, that she did, in fact, love him. So much.

Kagome pushed him away for a moment. He whined a little, his ears flattening, his eyes dulling. But she smiled, and with a swift movement, she lifted her shirt up over her head, so she could be fully nude before him. She lay back onto the futon, allowing him to take all of her in. She felt beautiful and vulnerable. She wanted him to know: she was fully, completely, his.

Yash’s breath hitched. He knew what she was doing: she was submitting to him, all of him, saying that she was his for the taking. And fuck, if that wasn’t exactly what he wanted from her.

“Inuyasha,” she whispered. “Please.”

Yash covered her body with his, and lowered his face to hers. “You sure you want this?” he asked her.

“I want you,” she replied, lifting her face to meet his in a soft kiss. Yash hissed, and rubbed her lips against his own, feeling how soft and smooth they were. He pulled her close and rolled her to her side, running his claws so lightly up and down her back she started to shiver. He released her lips and began to nuzzle her neck.

“Yash,” she breathed, feeling lightheaded at his ministrations.

“Kagome,” he replied softly, his face still in her neck. “Kagome.”

She couldn’t believe how turned on she was getting by just his simple, gentle movements. Each time he ran his claws down her back, up her arms, across her belly, she felt a gush of warmth that started in her groin and made its way downward. His hands knew just where to touch her, just where to bring her to life. She was his instrument, and he knew exactly how to make her sing.

“I don’t think I can wait, Yash,” Kagome said. His hands were everywhere, everywhere, and her body was taut with emotion and desire. One stroke to the right place and she was going to snap.

Yash chuckled. “Hold still, ‘Gome,” he said, reaching across her to the nightstand. He opened the drawer and pulled out a condom. Slowly, he sat up, straddling her thighs, tearing open the wrapping. She took it from him and held the condom in one hand and his cock in the other. She took a moment to stroke it, feeling the soft skin on the underside pulse with every touch. He let out a little whine and she giggled, knowing what she did to him was just as intense as what he did to her. She put both hands on the condom; he took over holding his shaft for her as she rolled the condom over the head of his cock and then down. She looked up at him, her blue-gray eyes dark with desire. He leaned forward and worked his cock over her sex. When he reached her small bundle of nerves, she shuddered. He smirked and did it again, causing her to call out his name brokenly. Not wanting to tease her anymore, he moved to slide inside her, only to have her reach out and grasp his wrist.

“Wait,” she breathed. Yash looked at her, confused. She pulled at him until he was close to her, and then she made to flip him over. Yash chuckled and did as she asked, shifting his position so that she was now the one straddling him. He lay back, hands folded behind his head, watching her with delight to see what she planned to do to him.

He didn’t have to wait long. Kagome leaned forward to catch his lips in a kiss, allowing her nipples to brush up against his chest. The light touch made him moan, and immediately he shifted his arms to move around her back. She pulled back slightly.

“No, no, no, my little puppy,” she teased him. “I’m doing the work now.”

He whined and pawed at her, but she pulled back and slid her core over his cock, rubbing it against her warm, wet opening. They both groaned at the pleasure as Kagome sank down onto him.

She sat there for a moment, growing used to the feel of him inside her from this angle. Then she leaned forward slightly and began to thrust up and down on his cock, her hands curling in his silver chest hair, her own hair falling loose around her. Yash’s breath caught as he watched her move. Had she ever looked more fucking beautiful than in that moment?

He reached up to feel her breasts, full and bouncing gently as she moved. Kagome hissed a little under his touch, and moved her body a little lower so he could have better access. The shift in angle meant that his cock was hitting a different area inside of her, and she moaned at the new feelings rushing through her, combined with the feel of his fingers palming the soft tissue of her breasts. His touch was so light, yet so firm, she was getting dizzy with the pleasure of it all.

She tried to move herself up and down on his cock faster, as she knew he liked, but the very feel of him inside her from his angle caused her to need to slow down and relish it. She pressed her hands down harder into his chest and felt her reiki rising up around her, sparking pink and vibrant.

“Yash,” she breathed.

“I got you, baby girl,” he murmured, unleashing some of his youki. The feeling of the two intertwining around them—no, being able to actually see their auras intertwining around them—was too much for Kagome, who began to move against Yash’s cock more vigorously. The world around her became pink and red and swirly and she moaned his full name as she came. Yash hissed and grabbed her hips, thrusting her up and down as she uttered a string of curses wantonly. His youki was baying now, insisting that he finish inside her as quickly as possible. She gathered what was left of her senses to reach behind her, lightly caressing his sac. He howled her name and bucked into her, hard, the condom catching his manic release. Kagome arched her back over him, feeling a second orgasm shooting through her body, watching their auras sparking together through lidded eyes.

Kagome relaxed over him, her head dropping down to meet his for a lingering kiss. She felt their auras recede, and sighed at the loss of their comfort. Yash pulled her close as he slipped out of her, removing the condom and dropping it into the wastebasket beside his bed.

“I love you,” she said.

“I love you,” he said.

Kagome snuggled in close beside him, feeling all of his love surrounding her. She could get used to this; she could admit that much to herself, easily. But did she want to? Did she want to give up her independence for a man she loved? She’d already done that once, and look how that turned out.

But Yash isn’t Hojo, she told herself. He would never to do you what Hojo did.

His soft breathing above her told her he had already fallen asleep. Kagome wriggled out of his grasp slightly to gaze up at him; his long dark eyelashes cast a shadow across his tanned cheeks, making him look infinitely younger than he was. His lips were pouty, and fixed in a slight smile. He was happy. No, he was happy with her. The fact was not lost on her that they’d both been through terrible experiences with relationships, and yet here he was, laying it all out there for her, wanting to care for her in a way no one besides her mother (as he so succinctly put it) ever had. The tenderness he showed her ignited feelings in her she’d never felt. She wanted to take care of him just as much as he wanted to care for her; she wanted to be like this, with him, close to him, all the time.

Kagome felt Yash’s arm tighten around her, pulling her back in close to his side. When she was alone, in her apartment, she missed this. She missed him; she ached for him. So what was stopping her?