Woodrue picked up a pot and sighed. Another day, another failure. He ripped the plant from its soil and placed it into a large beaker. He’d probably just use this one later for something else.
But right now he had one focus.
He turned around to the ginormous Nepenthes Attenboroughii he kept under a glass box. He placed his palm on the glass and watched as the pitcher plant reacted to him. It was one of a kind and on the endangered species list, so more people would want to see it. More specifically more wealthy people would want to see it.
Especially within the next few minutes; a wealthy congresswoman had called specifically today to see this creature. Who was Woodrue to stop her curiosity?
Also, who was he to stop the pitcher plant from helping him gather some information (and cash) off of this woman before sucking the air right from her lips?
Another congressperson more interested in the owning of precious green lives than the preservation of them, she was probably one of those tossers that people like Poison Ivy couldn’t stand. Just another life that the missing redheaded woman would be responsible for.
She deserved the blame anyways, if she had simply thanked Jason for the abilities he had graciously given to her and stayed with him then maybe he wouldn’t have to do this.
Oh well, it’s too late anyway. Here came the congresswoman with one of her security guards. Jason watched the women walk towards him, he admired the congresswoman’s caramel skin and blonde hair.
He put out his hand, “It’s nice to finally meet you-“
“Yes, yes.” She motioned his hand away, “Where’s the plant?”
“Uh, right this way,” he began to walk and lead them towards his lab. He was used to rude people after his time in prison but it still surprised him. If she only knew what he was planning, she’d be a lot nicer.
As they made it into the lab he eyed the suitcase in the security personnel's hand, “You’re quite young for a congresswoman.”
“I’ve been told.” Came a snippy reply.
He nodded to himself. She’d relax once she saw what she was here for.
Once in the lab’s bottom floor, he motioned towards the tank where the pitcher plant resided. The congresswoman paused before exclaiming in amazement. She walked closer to the glass tank to take a closer look.
Jason walked over to his tablet laying on a table near, “Are you impressed?”
“More than.” The woman looked over to him, “How much?”
“This is an endangered species,” Jason teased, “I can’t just sell it to you.”
“Money is not an issue.”
“I might need more than money.”
The woman laughed, “Like what?”
“Like the date of when will they be integrating the Zelta Dei Systems into the public.”
The congresswoman paused, “And how do you know about that?”
“I have my ways,” Jason shrugged, proud of himself, “It seems like a small price to pay for something so extravagant. Plus I would love whatever is inside that case.”
The woman looked over to her security personnel before back at Jason. She looked conflicted but gave an answer, “Christmas Eve.”
Jason chuckled and shook his head, “Sounds like the worst Christmas present ever.”
“Well you know how we do it up in… congress with us congress... people,” she pointed towards the plant, “So, are we doing business or are you going to ask for more stuff?”
“Nope,” he turned around and picked up an oxygen mask, “I think I have everything I need.”
He pressed a button on his tablet and turned back to watch the glass box open. He gave one command to the pitcher plant, “Kill.”
He then stared at the congresswoman and her guard, excitement filling his body.
Until nothing happened.
He looked back at the plant and this time out loud shouted his command, “Kill!”
“That’s so fucking rude.” The congresswoman folded her arms.
“Super rude,” the security guard opened the suitcase and pulled out a crossbow, pointing it at Jason.
“Agreed. And extremely stupid,” a familiar voice said behind him. He looked just in time as he felt something hit him on the side of the face. He fell to the floor and the mask was ripped from off his face.
He reached to his face and looked up to see that Harley Quinn had possibly just hit him in the face with a bat. And she looked proud of it.
And it also appears that that familiar voice belonged to the woman walking up behind her. Poison Ivy.
“Pam-“ He barely got out before Harley pushed the bat to his mouth.
“Uh uh. It’s Dr. Professor Poison Ivy to you.” Harley corrected.
“Thank you, Harley,” Poison Ivy bent down near him and shook her head, “If you gave your creations a bit more love and care, I'm sure they'd listen to you more easily than they listen to me."
Jason looked over at the pitcher plant and sighed. If Poison Ivy could control one of his creations this easily, then he didn't have a chance against her.
"You fucking, idiot," Ivy continued, "They gave you a way to get back into society and you went off and tried this? And I bet a million dollars you wrote about your little plan in detail in your notes, right?”
She was right.
“Then you’re under arrest,” a shorter woman appeared from behind Harley, a pair of handcuffs hanging from her hands. She rushed him onto his stomach and raised his hands roughly behind his back.
He squirmed under her and heard Harley snicker, “She’s not even a cop anymore, what is she doing?”
“Wait, wait!” Jason exclaimed as he was almost lifted onto his feet, “Congresswoman, please.”
The woman in question snorted, “Catch a hint, dude. I’m not really in Congress. A simple Google search would have cleared that up.”
“But what about the Zelta Dei Systems launch?”
She shrugged, “Got no clue what that even is.”
He deflated, his whole plan shredding right there in his face. All because of Poison Ivy. She foiled him once again. He stared her down as he was taken out of the lab and humiliated in front of his new colleagues. He wouldn’t forget this.
The girls took Pamela to their favorite diner and she watched in amusement as they went back and forth and ordered their after mission dinners.
Just as she ordered a margarita, Harley noticed a dark figure outside the window. She jumped and then pretended she didn’t see anything.
She excused herself (not before Dinah checked to see if her car keys were safe and away from Harley) and walked outside towards the shadowy figure, “What do you want?”
Batman put up his hands in surrender, “I’m just here to say good job-“
“Are you here to say sorry?”
“For what? For putting you behind bars?” He stepped closer, “You and I both known you needed it. You were doing some cruel things.”
“I still am!”
Harley pouted. Maybe she wasn’t as bad as she used to be but it sucked that she was getting a lesson from a dark knight, “You know what, Bats? I want to hate you so bad.”
She rolled her eyes at herself as she continued, “But I can tell you’re probably really handsome under that ugly mask so how can I be mad at that?”
That actually made Batman chuckle. Joker could never even come close to that.
Harley smiled before pointing a finger at him, “Stop trying to talk to me, Bats. I have a rep.”
He nodded and she skipped away back inside to her friends and one beautiful Dr. Professor Poison Ivy.
Back at her apartment, Harley gave the shortest house tour of her life. Cass decided to skip it and saluted Harley and Pamela a goodnight, leaving the two women alone.
Pamela stepped around a small pile of clothes on the floor and Harley felt herself blush. She probably should have cleaned a little before she had the redhead come over.
Pamela turned to her, her hands placed against her hips, “It’s filthy in here.”
“Uh,” Harley stuttered, “Yeah. Sorry.”
Pamela smirked before wiping a place on the couch and taking a seat, “Come join me?”
Harley basically hopped over, taking a spot that was at first too close, then too far, then almost just right.
“I think it’s kind of neat what you’re doing,” Pamela folded her legs and let her eyes roam around the apartment, “here in Gotham.”
“I thought you said it was filthy.”
Pamela smiled over at Harley the minute the girl started to chuckle at herself.
“But really, Red, I ain’t doing much,” Harley crossed her legs on the couch to fully turn and look at the redhead, “I just get involved with the Birds sometimes. Help them kick ass.”
“Fight crime,” Pamela teased.
“Hey now, I’m not a cape or anything.”
“You’d still like me if I was a cape?”
Harley watched Pamela for a few moments before scooting closer, “So tell me, Red, when did you write that book?”
Pamela’s eyebrows rose, “You read my book?”
“Technically not yet.”
“You don’t have to-“
“I don’t have to but I will! Cause, you know,” Harley shrugged a shoulder, “you wrote it so I gotta.”
Pamela bit her lip, “You’re still a big softie, aren’t you?”
When Pamela’s voice lowered like that or when she bit her lip like that Harley never knew how to react. So she just gave a goofy smile and a shrug.
That must have been the right reaction cause Pamela felt inclined to lean in for a kiss that Harley was more than happy to reciprocate.
You ever get a kiss that made you feel a mixture of being on the edge of melting into a puddle and on the edge of turning into one of those Looney Tunes dog people who dance around cause their hearts are beating out of their chests?
Well, that’s how it was like when kissing Pamela, and Harley was hoping and praying that she didn’t seem too keen as she slipped a leg onto the redhead’s lap.
Though she hadn’t thought this for a while, it was simple: Harley loved Pamela. There was no doubt about it. She had for a while and didn’t know why she had waited so long to find her and fix things between them. Life was too short for them not to be together, for Harley to be away from people she loved and who truly loved her back.
It brought her so much joy to finally have the chance to be this happy. She might as well declare this happiness right now out loud.
Harley pulled back a bit to smile large, “Love yah, Red!”
Pamela looked surprised before returning the smile, “Love you, Harls.”
Pamela leaned back in to kiss her but yelped And jumped up from the couch. She brought her hand back onto her spot on the cushion to carefully pull out a shiny ninja star that must have poked her in the rear.
“Oh my- I‘ve been looking for this forever,” Harley took the star and hugged against its flatter side, “Just your presence here alone is giving me good luck.”
Pamela rolled her eyes, “Okay, so I can’t sleep here unless we tidy a bit.”
“Ah, no! Come on!”
“Uh uh, Harley,” Pamela walked towards the kitchen, probably in search of a mop to clean up the crimson stain by the front door, “Search the couch and extract all the pointy objects from it, please.”
Harley wanted to pout but instead followed directions and dug a hand into the cushion next to her.
She didn’t like cleaning, but she loved Pamela so she didn’t mind it too much right now.