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The Gays Are at it Again

Chapter Text

Class 1-A

11:21 A.M.

 

Masochist:

So I just did a dumb.

 

They All Float:

Did u break ur arm while training again?

 

Mr. President:

Do you need me to call you an ambulance?

 

Pichu:

Midoriya broke his arm? 

@Bondage Kink pay up slut

 

Bondage Kink:

Denki wait please I am brOKE

 

Pichu:

A bet’s a bet, ho

 

Masochist:

I didn’t break my arm!

 

Pichu:

Aw, dammit…

 

Bondage Kink:

Oh thank God

 

BogLife:

U guys really betting on Midoriya breaking his arm?

 

Lesbean:

Why does this not surprise me?

 

Pichu:

We all know it is an inevitability

I am just capitalizing on it

 

Lesbean:

Damn, two big words in a row?

That’s a record for you, I think

 

Pichu:

I came here to have a good time and I honestly feel so attacked right now

 

Masochist:

Good.

 

Alien Queen:

Is that a savage Midori I see?

 

Exhibitionist:

Dear sister, I believe it is.

 

Three Legs:

Guys I think we’re getting off track here

I’m curious what dumb thing Midoriya did

If it’s not a broken bone then idk

 

Alien Queen:

Oh tru

What happened??

 

Masochist:

I forgot the #1 rule of cutting things

Almost sliced my thumb open

 

Lesbean:

Whoops

You good though, right?

 

Masochist:

Yeah, the blade barely grazed me!

 

Exhibitionist:

Not every day you read a sentence like that-

 

They All Float:

Question. 

HOW???

 

Masochist:

Okay so I wanted a snack and we have strawberries.

Smart boy me decided to use a knife to cut the green leafy parts off.

Applied too much pressure on one, and the surprisingly sharp knife decided to just glide through the fruit meat when I wasn’t prepared for it to.

Blade came like a millimetre from my thumb.

 

Exhibitionist:

Ok so like never say fruit meat again

 

Masochist:

But that’s what it is!

I can’t say berry meat because strawberries aren’t actually berries.

 

Alien Queen:

theywhat

 

Masochist:

According to stanfordmag.org: “Strawberries and raspberries aren’t really berries in a botanical sense. They are derived from a single flower with more than one ovary, making them an aggregate fruit. True berries are simple fruits stemming from one flower with one ovary and typically have several seeds.”

 

Pichu:

Wh

Wack

 

Bondage Kink:

Botany is fucking weird, dude

 

Exhibitionist:

My life is a lie

 

Masochist:

But you know what is a berry?

Banana.

 

Exhibitionist:

I hate this

 

They All Float:

No

 

Masochist:

Tomatoes and eggplant are as well.

 

Exhibitonist:

St op this

 

Masochist:

I am educating.

Watermelon and pumpkin are berries, too.

 

They All Float:

Deku no

 

Exhibitionist:

I’m leaving

 

Masochist:

I don’t make the rules, blame the botanists.

 

Cool Zuko:

Humans are berries.

 

Masochist:

We don’t have seeds, Shoto.

 

Cool Zuko:

Shhh

Humans are berries

 

Masochist:

Shoto no

 

Pichu:

No no, he has a point

 

Alien Queen:

Are u two smoking or smth

 

Bondage Kink:

Denki was sober when he left my house, I swear

 

Exhibitionist:

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Virgin:

what were u doing at Sero’s house, Kaminari?

kinda gay dude lol

 

Pichu:

i meAN

 

Exhibitionist:

Wait, for real??

 

Virgin:

wait

no

no way

we have talked way 2 much about girls 4 u to b gay

 

Pichu:

If u want to be technical

I’m bi

Fully capable of talking about ladies but y’know what

boys can be cute too

 

Virgin:

oh

i see

well, good 2 know

 

Lesbean:

Denki just casually came out to the class, huh?

 

Pichu:

Not the first, hopefully won’t be the last

 

Bondage Kink:

dw bro I ain’t letting u come out alone

I am super duper gay

 

Alien Queen:

We really just having a coming out sesh in the gc?

Bc I am totally here for it

Some of u already know I’m bi but for those of you that don’t

Ye

I’m bi :)

 

Masochist:

I’m just plain straight lol

 

Alien Queen:

U r NOT plain Midori

We’ve been over this

Respect urself!!

 

They All Float:

Seconded 

Also I am very lesbian

 

BogLife:

Same

 

Lesbean:

Same

 

Capitalism:

We been knew, darling

But also same

 

Exhibitionist:

Wow, Momo does meme

And I am bi as well!

 

Three Legs:

Straight

 

Rock Daddy:

Can’t relate, too gay

 

Alien Queen:

We been knew

 

Sato:

I’m straight, too

 

Cool Zuko:

After careful consideration

I have concluded

...

 

Pichu:

0.0

 

Bondage Kink:

0.0

 

Alien Queen:

0.0

 

Exhibitionist:

0.0

 

Masochist:

*sigh*

What is your conclusion, Shoto?

 

Cool Zuko:

… 

I’m bi as fuck

But demiromantic

 

Alien Queen:

Respectable, carry on

 

Octodaddy:

I suppose I could be called demisexual.

 

CORVID-19:

I am painfully homosexual.

 

Lesbean:

Translation: disaster gay

 

CORVID-19:

I arrived at this location in order to have a joyous experience, yet I am truthfully under the impression that my character is being assaulted.

 

Bondage Kink:

Did Brokoyami just rewrite the “came here to have a good time” meme?

 

Octodaddy:

He does that sometimes, ignore him.

 

CORVID-19:

I would like to submit a request for a new romantic partner.

 

Exhibitionist:

WHAT??

 

CORVID-19:

Oh dear, did I actually hit send on that one?

 

Octodaddy:

Yes. Yes you did.

 

Alien Queen:

WAIT SO TOKOSHOJI IS CANON?

AAAAH CONGRATS YOU GAYS

I think this means ur Class 1-A’s first official couple?

 

CORVID-19:

I… suppose so.

 

Exhibitionist:

First open couple, anyway.

 

Alien Queen:

Gurl are u hiding tea from me?

 

Masochist:

No she is not.

Because she knows the potential consequences of implying the contrary.

Right Hagakure?

 

Exhibitionist:

Yeeeep

 

Capitalism:

Thank you, Midoriya.

 

Alien Queen:

Thank him for what??

 

Capitalism:

Nothing.

 

Masochist:

Nothing.

 

Alien Queen:

Susp

 

Viva la France!:

Am I too late for the sexuality talk, mes amis ?

 

Alien Queen:

Lolol no Aoyama, go ahead and share if ur comfortable!

 

Viva la France:

Thank you, ma chérie !

I am, how you say, “the big gay”

 

Pichu:

Did

Did AOYAMA just meme?

Am I dead? Is this heaven?

 

Mr. President:

Seems more like Hell to me.

 

Pichu:

Oof

 

Bondage Kink:

Denki.

 

Pichu:

Ye?

 

Bondage Kink:

I know you saw it, Denki.

 

Pichu:

I have no idea what you are talking about.

 

Bondage Kink:

TokoShoji.

It’s canon, Denki.

 

Octodaddy:

I don’t like where this is going.

 

Alien Queen:

I do! *grabs popcorn*

 

Bondage Kink:

In your own words, Denki…

PAY UP, SLUT

 

Pichu:

HANTA PLEASE I AM JUST A POOR BOY

 

Bondage Kink:

“A bet’s a bet, ho.”

Remember who said that?

 

Pichu:

HANTA PLEASE

 

Exhibitionist:

Mina pass the popcorn, this is getting good

 

Bondage Kink:

You did this to yourself, Denki.

 

Pichu:

Hanta I have no money

Pls spare my poor starving wallet

 

Bondage Kink:

I suppose we could discuss alternative methods of payment later.

 

Exhibitionist:

Starting to smell like gay in here.

 

Alien Queen:

This class is like 95% gay so that really shouldn’t be surprising

 

Lesbean:

Is that the right number?

 

Alien Queen:

Fuck if I know, I suck at math

 

Masochist:

I could tutor you if you’d like, Mina!

 

Alien Queen:

Omg u r a saint Midori

Tho maybe hold off until after school starts back up

Gonna need all three of my brain cells for the extra lessons at camp

Don’t wanna burn them out early

 

Exhibitionist:

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

Octodaddy:

Do you have that face on a goddamn hotkey or something?

 

Exhibitionist:

Um, yeah?

 

Mr. President:

Must I give a lecture on the morally bankrupt practice of betting on the romantic lives of your classmates?

Or the issues apparent in making wagers when you aren’t in a financial position to lose?

 

Pichu:

U can

Tho it won’t do much good

 

Masochist:

Pretty sure I just heard Iida’s exasperated sigh from across the city.

 

They All Float:

Same

Wow, normally we can only cause that level of disappointment in the Izucrew 2.0 chat

 

Alien Queen:

Wait there’s an Izucrew chat?

 

Three Legs:

And why 2.0?

 

Exhibitionist:

0.0

 

Masochist:

Here we go...

 

They All Float:

Okay so

The original Izucrew, aka me and Iida, along with the man himself

That was OG Izucrew 1.0

Then after the whole thing at the USJ went down, Tsu got added

We didn’t number it at the time but we now refer to this period as “Izucrew 1.5”

Then comes the Sports Festival

Tokoyami and that girl from the Support Class, Hatsume, earn their invitation during the cavalry battle

 

CORVID-19:

An invitation I was honored to accept.

 

They All Float:

Yis yis and we love u boo

Anyway

After Todoroki and Deku-kun had their big explosive 1v1

Tsu and I agreed that he must also be added

And thus, Izucrew 2.0 was formed

 

Alien Queen:

What blood pact will get me in on this?

 

Pichu:

Betrayal

 

Bondage Kink:

Wow she really out here openly changing sides

 

Alien Queen:

Oh hush up u two

I can be in both squads at once

 

They All Float:

Well I’m okay with it

But

@Masochist what say u?

 

Masochist:

Since when do I have any say in who gets added?

I’m not even an admin in the chat.

 

They All Float:

I’m not hearing an answer

 

Masochist:

I mean the answer is an obvious yes.

I just don’t see why I am only just now in charge of accepting new members.

I normally have zero input in these things.

 

They All Float:

All I heard was “yes”

@Alien Queen check ur DMs gurl!!

 

Alien Queen:

Fuck yeah!

 

CORVID-19:

While that is going on, there is a topic I would like to return to for a moment.

What exactly was the bet between Kaminari and Sero in regards to my relationship with Mezo?

Did one of you not think we were together?

 

Pichu:

Tbh I thought u were gay for Mido

 

Masochist:

What?

 

Alien Queen:

WHAT??

 

CORVID-19:

That is a very… unique conclusion to reach. I am curious what evidence you had to support this theory.

 

Bondage Kink:

Oh there really wasn't much

Denks is a chronic shipper, but all of them are complete crackships

He also thinks Todobroki is secretly pining for Midoribro too

 

Cool Zuko:

Interesting

 

Masochist:

Shfowtuwbkqla

That

No

No no lol

How do you even

 

Pichu:

I HAVE EVIDENCE FOR THAT ONE

 

Alien Queen:

I'd love to hear it

 

Cool Zuko:

No you wouldn’t. 

 

Alien Queen:

Yes I would

 

Pichu:

Have any of u ever paid attention to how they look at each other

Especially when they think the other isn’t looking

There is clearly some pining going at least one way there

Also consider how much time they’ve started spending together since the sports festival

Like every lunch period

They walk out of the building together

They’re always grabbing each other for partner projects

 

Cool Zuko:

Kaminari if you continue I will freeze your balls off.

 

BogLife:

Idk about that last point

By that logic, Ochaco-chan and I have been dating since the year started

 

Pichu:

Wait u two aren’t a thing?

 

BogLife:

No?

 

They All Float:

Ha. ha ha ha.

 

BogLife:

I mean I wouldn’t be opposed to dating her but she hasn’t asked me out yet

 

They All Float:

Saywhat

Repeat that

 

BogLife:

I wouldn’t mind dating u

All u have to do is ask

 

They All FLoat:

I… 

 

They All Float has gone offline!

 

Masochist:

Oh no

I think you broke her, Asui.

 

BogLife:

Call me Tsu

And oh dear

I guess I’ll go start fixing her, then

 

BogLife has gone offline!

 

Exhibitionist:

OwO

 

Alien Queen:

Oh my god is OchaTsu happening?

Please tell me it’s happening

 

Class 1-A

3:31 P.M.

 

They All Float

@Alien Queen it happened :)