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I'll Bring Fate to Its Knees

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It’s already cold out by the time Gulf manages to escape from his office. He doesn’t know why he still manages to stay late when it’s the interns that should be doing half of his work now. He thought once he got a permanent position at his job, and then got promoted he would go home right on time like all his other seniors. Guess he didn’t account for the fact that unlike his seniors he hated piling his work on the desk of his interns. He was just like them only three years ago. Struggling to find stability in the world, almost killing himself working through the stress. So he goes home late instead, every single day.

 

He’s supposed to catch the train but he’s so tired he can barely manage the short walk to the train station. His mind wanders, shivering through the cold permeating his suit, as he takes a look around the streets on his way. Usually he hangs his head low and walks to the train station with little to no concern for his surroundings. Tonight, though he’s especially sentimental.  

 

It’s been exactly three months now.  

 

His most recent break up that is. Gulf still isn’t over it. Not because he’s still in love, or even particularly upset. But because the relationship ended due to the one thing Gulf had promised himself he would never let happen. They had grown apart. They had stopped caring about the other person and that had led to them losing the love they once cultivated. Gulf had always told himself that he would never be like that. That if he were ever lucky enough to be in a relationship, he would cherish that person to the best of his ability. He would never stop wondering what they were doing every day, he would never stop wanting to see their face, to be close to them and to always work on any problems they had before even thinking of giving up.  

 

But then he found himself in a relationship, a sweet one that he thought he would keep forever. And yet after two years it was almost as if they no longer had anything to talk about other than mundane conversations that ended before they even started. Those conversations ceased too, the excuse of being too busy all the more prominent. One day led to the next and when he had noticed he hadn’t seen his partner in the last month, or even wanted to, it was already too late. They were over and he could feel that in his bones.  

 

He had let them go, without a fight.  

 

Gulf sighs, unbuttoning his suit jacket to be more comfortable. He spots a small bar on the opposite side of the street, right before he’s about to head into the train station and contemplates going in for a drink. His brows crease, he’s too exhausted for even that and he knows it. He heads home instead.  

 

 

It happens on an unassuming Thursday.  

 

Gulf wakes up in the morning and he has a headache. He can tell it’s going to be a long day so he showers quickly and takes an aspirin before rushing to work. He had woken up late so he misses his usual train. His stomach grumbles all the way because he had missed breakfast and his hair is still a little damp as he rests it against the train window.  

 

His boss looks cross as soon as he steps off the elevator and into his office floor. Everyone else is already doing work, their eyes daring not to glance at Gulf. His boss flicks his head in the direction of his private office and Gulf follows with his head bowed. He’s really bad at confrontations, so he usually takes these talking-tos with his eyes cast down and hands gathered together. He follows his boss inside the office and carefully closes the door behind himself. He takes a deep breath before turning back around.  

 

“You’re late,” His boss supplies, voice stern as he flips through documents on his desk. He’s sitting down in leisure and Gulf is almost certain he’s not actually reading a single thing he’s pretending to look at.  

 

“Yes, I’m sorry. It won’t happen again,” Gulf answers, his voice meek.  

 

“This is already the third time this quarter, I’m beginning to wonder if putting you in charge of a project was too much, too soon...” His boss has stopped shuffling papers now. He looks up and his gaze makes Gulf want to sigh. Another thing he hates to see, disappointment.

 

“I understand why you would think so, however my team has been making great progress with the proposal. I believe our outcome can convince you otherwise. Please just let me stay on until we finish, if you are unsatisfied with the results, I will take full responsibility.” Gulf makes sure his words are clear and decisive even though he can’t manage to look up. Honestly, he’s terrified. He can’t help but be scared of failure, however he’s nothing if not a hard worker. He’ll do his best and then worry about the rest afterwards.

 

His boss seems to have sensed his determination because he finally cracks a small smile, “Fine, but this is your last warning. Please arrive to work on time, otherwise it will set a bad precedent for your juniors,” he gestures to the door behind Gulf, his cue to leave.

 

“Of course, thank you,” Gulf replies before he speeds out of the office.  

 

He doesn’t stop until he’s inside his own small office and has his back against his closed door. He bangs his head back, and finally lets out that sigh he’s been holding in all morning. Today really isn’t his day.  

 

Someone knocks on his door, startling him out of his misery. He steps back to open the door, seeing one of his juniors looking at him while holding a cup of coffee. “Bad morning?” They say, extending the mug towards Gulf to take. Gulf opens his mouth, not really knowing what to say before he decides to just accept the small gift with a smile.  

 

“Yeah, thanks” Gulf breaks into a bigger smile and then motions for his junior to head back to their cubicle.  

 

Even though he doesn’t really drink coffee the small show of support has done wonders for his spirit. He heads to his desk, letting his briefcase drop to the ground by his chair and starts booting up his computer. Today was definitely going to be a long day. 

 

 

Gulf stays later than usual trying to finish up as much as possible. There’s no one left by the time he packs it in for the night. The office feels eerie with most of its lights off, no sounds of typing or talking echoing throughout the space. If Gulf were a lesser man he would have run towards the elevator. Instead he just walks as fast as possible. He huffs in relief once inside then catches sight of himself in the reflective mirrors and laughs at his foolish behavior.  

 

He slips out his phone and starts playing a game to pass the time. His floor is pretty high up since the broadcasting division takes up most of the upper levels. He doesn’t stop playing as he gets to the ground floor, having memorized his office building by heart. 

 

It’s not as cold out tonight, spring winds rustling the trees above him as he walks to the train station. He tries to keep himself occupied on his game but his thoughts start racing around in his head. He can’t help but think about that morning, how he was scolded by his boss and how everyone in their office floor must have noticed. His cheeks burn in embarrassment and he stuffs his phone back in his pant pocket. He lets out a groan and ruffles his hair, he can’t stop thinking about it. He wonders if other people were talking about him behind his back. His juniors had even seen the debacle.

 

Gulf barely has any friends in his workspace to begin with...he can’t imagine how many would want to get close to him now. He’s always had a pretty passive face so when he had first started as an intern his superiors often thought of him as rude and lacking passion. His fellow interns were outgoing and quickly managed to make friends. In the span of a week, Gulf felt like they were all so close to one another that there was nowhere for Gulf to intervene. If his work wasn’t so superb, he’s certain the company wouldn’t have kept him after his internship was over.  

 

Three years later and he still can’t call anyone in his own division a friend. He can talk to others more easily now, feeling more comfortable after his promotion however it always seems like too much time has passed and people are no longer interested in getting to know him. He can’t imagine what his juniors must think of him now.  

 

He’s almost at the train station now, not having realized how far he’s walked while in his bubble of self-doubt. He spots the bar he noticed a week ago and stops in his tracks. He really needs a drink. Without another thought to spare, Gulf crosses the street and heads inside.  

 

 

It’s only a Thursday but the bar is more packed than Gulf had anticipated. He looks around and feels out of place in his grey suit. Everyone else is dressed pretty casually, he checks the watch on his wrist and sees that it’s close to midnight. The music is pretty loud but the chatter of the people inside the bar is even louder. He almost drags himself back out before he spots the bartender handing out drinks at the counter and changes his mind. He really needs that drink.  

 

Gulf steps into the throng of people bustling about, trying to squeeze himself into cracks he finds between bodies so he doesn’t have to really touch anyone. The only good thing so far happens to be the small air diffusers all around the small bar that are doing a great job of keeping everyone’s scents at bay. Gulf has an especially sensitive nose so he appreciates it.  

 

He finds a vacant stool by the counter and takes it. He raises his hand to signal the bartender, then orders himself a beer. He’s squished between two groups of people who seem to be having too much fun for a Thursday night and decides to keep his elbows tucked in so he doesn’t bump into any of them.  

 

Gulf sips his beer, trying not to pay attention to the loud sounds surrounding him and just forget his entire horrible day. He had gotten a text earlier from his friend Bright and that had helped cheer him up a bit but he’s still blaming himself for everything that happened. He hates himself for not being a morning person, always having difficulty waking up.  

 

Just as Gulf is finishing off his third beer, feeling a little bit more than tipsy he feels someone bump into him from his right. The guy has both hands in the air, somehow screeching over the loud music “Mew, my main man! Finally,”  

 

Gulf furrows his brows and pulls his drink closer to himself so it doesn’t spill. He glances over to his right to throw a quiet glare over to the guy but all he sees is him pulling another man into a tight hug. He sighs and looks away, chalking it up to an accident. He’s just about to take another sip when the same guy on his right slaps his hands on the counter and hits gulf's hand in the same motion.  

 

Gulf can’t do anything but look down at where beer has spilled all over his white dress shirt. He almost wants to say something to the guy, can feel his temper rise but in the next second he just huffs out a laugh. He’s so upset that it’s all he can do. Today just isn’t his day.  

 

“Woah buddy, I think you’ve had enough for now,” The guy who was being hugged earlier says, stepping in between Gulf and his drunk friend. He slants his back towards Gulf so he can’t see his face but notices how he has pushed his entire group of friends a little further away so they aren’t so close to Gulf now. He’s not sure if it was deliberate but as long as no one is bumping into him anymore he’ll take it.  

 

Gulf grabs a few square napkins from the countertop and dabs them on his chest so he won’t feel sticky at least. He tips his beer back and finishes it in one big gulp. He’s really starting to feel drunk now. His head is woozy and he can’t keep his thoughts straight.  

 

“Sorry about that, my friend here is celebrating so he’s a little excited” A voice speaks up from his right. Gulf has to do a double take because he didn’t think that the statement was directed towards him. He dumbly points to himself and watches as the man beside him breaks into a small laugh. He nods at Gulf then looks down at the now-empty beer bottle in Gulf’s hands. He signals the bartender and points to Gulf’s beer when he catches his eye.  

 

“Oh no, I'm done for the night” Gulf says, holding up both of his hands.  

 

The man just looks at him with a smile, brows furrowed. “Who said it was for you?” He replies, mirth evident in his voice. Gulf balks, his ears burning in embarrassment. He looks down, fiddling with the beer in his hands as he tries to stop blushing. He can’t believe the nerve of this guy, teasing him when they don’t even know each other. The guy just laughs from beside him; the bartender brings the beer to him and he taps Gulf’s arm. “I was just joking; it is for you. Consider it an apology for both me and my friend’s behavior tonight.”  

 

Gulf side-eyes the beer, he really shouldn’t drink another one but he can’t just let this man think he’s a lightweight. He grabs the beer out of the other guy’s hand and chugs the whole bottle, wiping off the few drops left over on his chin with the back of his hand. He huffs afterwards, leaning over into the guy’s surprised face as he says “You’re not forgiven,”  

 

Gulf doesn’t know what he expects, maybe he wanted to feel some kind of accomplishment, as if he had won over this random stranger. But what he gets in return is the other guy laughing happily in his face. Gulf leans back a little, startled. The guy rubs a hand down his face, eyes finding Gulf’s before he follows him and leans in. “Then...what should I do to be forgiven?” Gulf feels the man place one hand around Gulf’s, holding onto the beer bottle.  

 

The surprise wears off fast, Gulf staring into the man’s eyes. His hand feels warm on top of his own. His eyes are brown, staring at Gulf before they flit down to Gulf’s pink lips. It’s only a second, then they’re back to watching Gulf’s eyes, searching and seeking.  

 

Gulf doesn’t know how he expected this day to end but he had never imagined this. He’s tired, and drunk. His shirt is still wet from the spilled beer, sticking to his chest. He can’t remember the last time someone has looked at him the way this man is right this second. Like he’s hungry for him. Starved.  

 

The longer he looks into this man’s eyes the drunker he feels. Like he’s falling into a deep abyss. A never-ending depth, swirls of chocolate brown swallowing him whole. The man takes a small step closer; his other hand comes up to rest on Gulf’s back. If Gulf were a lesser man, he might have felt trapped, vulnerable even. But instead he strangely feels calm, like the noise around him has been muffled into a small whir. The thoughts in his head, silenced. Like his worries, doubts and misfortune from the day has vanished into a dark vacuum.  

 

Gulf doesn’t know what does it, but staring into this man’s eyes seems to have made his night go from horrible to bearable. He takes his hand out from beneath the other’s and grabs his briefcase from beneath his feet. “Let's go,” is all Gulf says, not wanting to break eye contact. He stumbles a little when getting off of his stool but manages not to make it obvious. He grabs the man’s hand, still resting on the bar, and starts to head towards the exit.  

 

He thinks he hears the man say a hasty goodbye to his friends but Gulf isn’t too sure. All he knows is that the hand he’s holding is warm, that it feels nice and that he hasn’t felt so determined about something like this in a long time. Outside of the bar Gulf drags them straight to the dark alley right beside and then stops. He takes a deep breath then turns around to look at the man behind him. “I’m Mew by the way,” The guy says, hands tucked into his jean pockets and smile soft on his lips.  

 

“Yeah,” Gulf says under his breath, raising his hand and pulling the guy in by the front of his shirt. Gulf feels the wall meet his back and the surprised sound against his face before they’re kissing. Gulf closes his eyes at last, fingers loosening their grip on Mew’s shirt so he can wrap his arms around Mew’s neck instead. Mew seems to catch on quick, wrapping his own arms around Gulf’s waist and pulling them closer together.  

 

Gulf can feel his shoulders relax. The smooth slide of their lips against each other as wind passes through them feels so nice, so familiar he just wants to melt into it. He feels Mew grip his hips tighter, his kiss becoming more ravenous. When Gulf breaks away to come up for air, breath coming out harsh, his eyes immediately look for Mew’s.  

 

“Wow, okay. That was nice,” Mew whispers, like it’s a secret between just the two of them. He’s smiling even now, lips shiny under the distant streetlamps. Gulf feels himself smile too, at the absurdity of it all. “Just nice huh,” He whispers back, doesn’t know where the confidence comes from. This man that he doesn’t know at all, who’s looking at Gulf like he holds all the answers, is somehow so easy to talk to. Maybe because Gulf doesn’t know him at all, doesn’t owe him at all, that he feels like he can say anything. Like he’s the bravest person in the world.  

 

Mew pouts his lips and furrows his brows like he’s in deep thought, “Maybe a little better than just nice, but I'll need more...just to be sure,” His smile returns full force, then he’s leaning back in and Gulf closes his eyes in obedience. Mew kisses like he’s been waiting his entire life to kiss Gulf, his hands come up to shape Gulf’s face. Gulf suddenly remembers being back in high school, lying down underneath an apple tree during spring while he sipped on a juice box. The sun had been blazing but the wind was cool as it blew through the soft flowers of the tree above him. The sky had been blue, a little cloudy and he could hear his fellow classmates playing soccer in the field just below him. He remembers wanting to go join but being too lazy, closing his eyes instead and falling asleep to the sound of the breeze. That’s what being held by Mew feels like, the warmth of his body against gulf, the slick of his lips, the soft tickle of his lashes against Gulf’s cheek are singing a quiet melody lulling Gulf into submission.  

 

There’s a very sudden gush of wind and it brings with it the smell of damp earth, heavy with fallen rain. Gulf’s brows ripple. It hasn’t rained for some time. Maybe a week or so. He pulls away, eyes clouded and filled with desire. “Is that you?” Gulf asks, nose touching Mew’s.  

 

“Is what me?” Mew tilts his head, amused.  

 

Suddenly, as if announcing its presence, the smell increases tenfold. It feels like it’s permeating everything around them. Gulf has to block his nose just so his hackles don’t start to rise. “You’re an alpha?” Gulf pushes Mew back a step, just so he can maybe get a breath of regular air in. It doesn’t work.  

 

“Uh, yeah. You didn’t notice earlier?” Mew says, stepping back further after noticing Gulf’s discomfort.  

 

“And what am I?” Gulf raises his finger in a challenge, pointing at Mew.  

 

“An alpha, obviously.” Mew replies without hesitation. As if it’s the most natural thing in the world.  

 

Gulf can’t hold back his scoff. For the second time that night he admires the nerve of the guy in front of him. “And you still hit on me? I could’ve beat the shit outta you,”  

 

“But you didn’t,” Mew starts stepping back closer to him, his scent now a mild dream floating around them. Gulf is too nonplussed to do anything other than let the man close the distance. “And you still haven’t” Mew locks their hands together, not daring to get any closer. In the end he seems to have a bit of self-preservation, Gulf thinks. “Want to get out of here? I live close by” Mew looks away, back out of the alleyway which they came.  

 

Gulf has never been an adventurous person. He likes what he likes and he hates what he hates. He plays sports and he eats whenever he feels hungry no matter what time of day it may be. Growing up he had fantasies of becoming a professional soccer player, winning trophies and getting a pretty omega. So when all his friends got omega or beta partners, he didn’t think anything of it and got one himself. It’s been years since then and maybe he’s heard whispers of alphas getting together but he never believed it. How can two alphas even attempt to get that intimate without feeling threatened and wanting to rip each other's heads off?  

 

Mew must sense his internal debate because he steps closer and lets his head hang to the side. He leaves his neck bare in front of Gulf, his scent not even a little nervous as he submits. Gulf doesn’t know why the action has him so transfixed but he’s so surprised by it that it feels as if all the alcohol has seeped out of his system and he’s completely sober.  

 

“I won’t hurt you, even though I'm a big bad alpha. I promise,” Mew says as he returns back to his normal stature. All signs of the man who had previously laid his ego and pride down on the floor between their feet, gone. If any other alpha had just seen them, Mew might have been beaten into a pulp.  

 

All Gulf wants to do however is say “Let’s go,” for the second time that night.  

 

 

They stumble into Mew’s condo while kissing. The whole place is cast in shadow. Gulf almost trips over a pair of shoes left out on the floor and Mew has to catch him by the waist. They both laugh in each other’s mouths, still kissing, unwilling to let go. Gulf reaches a hand out to feel for a wall, he manages to find it right before Mew is pushing him onto it. His back hits the plaster with a soft thud, Mew’s lips a soft impact in comparison on his neck.  Gulf toes off his shoes, a rush to take off his jacket while keeping up with Mew’s pace.  

 

Mew smiles against his neck, thumb running across Gulf’s bottom lip. He laughs when Gulf gets his sleeve stuck on his watch. It would feel out of place if Gulf wasn’t also laughing at his own clumsiness. Mew steps back and helps him take his suit jacket off, eyes never leaving Gulf’s. He almost looks fond. It feels foreign to Gulf to be looked at like that. He doesn’t know why it’s affecting him so much. He swears he hasn’t felt as lonely as he does right now, with Mew staring at him.  

 

It feels as if this man he has known for little more than an hour is seeing him more clearly than anyone Gulf has ever been with in the past twenty-nine years of his life. It makes his stomach roil; his eyes glassy as he remembers all his past relationships. Does Mew look at everyone this way? He pushes Mew back, all of a sudden angry. At what, he isn’t sure. At Mew? At Himself?  

 

He backs Mew up until they’re in the condo’s core. Gulf can see a TV, game console and a couch in his peripheral. But he keeps going until Mew’s back hits the wall beside his bedroom door. The door is left ajar, Gulf can see the corner of a bed inside. He grips Mew by the front of his shirt and pulls him through the door. Once they are inside Gulf kisses Mew like he wants it to be his last. His hands are busy, anxious as he rids Mew of his denim jacket. He throws it somewhere by their feet. It’s the last thing on his mind.  

 

He can feel Mew bite at his bottom lip, can feel his anger dissipate with every slow lick of Mew’s tongue. “Easy,” Mew whispers against his lips, like he can sense Gulf’s agitation. If it were any other night, and if he were with any other alpha, that might have just riled him up more. But Mew takes one hand and runs it up from Gulf’s elbow to his shoulder, squeezes his bicep and then lets himself fall back on the bed. He rests on his elbows, relaxed, like he knows Gulf needs to be in control.  

 

Except Gulf didn’t know that what was making him so angry was that he felt like he was losing control. He hadn’t even realized his scent had started to spike. The pills he usually takes for work don’t allow his scent any leeway; he’s surprised Mew even knew he was an alpha. But it’s leaking out now, the bitter cocoa scent he doesn’t recognize much of anymore. It feels a little strange having someone else recognize his emotions better than himself.  

 

Mew just stares up at him, patient. He raises a hand, as if asking Gulf to join him on the bed. Gulf stares at the hand but decides against it. He starts unbuttoning his own shirt, making sure to look at Mew as he does. He can see it in Mew’s eyes, that same look he had at the bar. Hungry, starving. Gulf takes his time, he’s in control of the pace now, he can feel that the same way he can feel the tension in the air. He’s suddenly reminded of Mew’s scent, that same damp earth and he can still smell it now. Except it no longer bothers him. It makes his head a little hazy but it doesn’t pull that same distressing reaction from him. Instead it leaves his arms with goosebumps, his hairs standing on end. He slips his shirt off his shoulders and finally walks over.  

 

Mew’s hand falls onto the bed, limp. He takes a breath with every step Gulf takes. Mew gets a crease between his brows, watching Gulf settle on top of him on the bed, pushing him down onto his back. He looks at Gulf now like he can’t quite understand what he’s seeing. Like he’s looking at Gulf for the very first time, like he’s looking at a wonder. Mew raises his hand, brings the back of his fingers to Gulf’s cheek and sweeps them across. Gulf slaps his hand away before he can get too far.  

 

It makes him feel too vulnerable, the look in Mew’s eyes, the way his hand ghosts over him like he dares not touch it. Mew sighs in defeat, a brief smile surfacing on his face. “Just because I promised not to hurt you, doesn’t mean you can hurt me” Mew says, waits for it to register with Gulf. When it does Gulf turns scarlet.

 

“I - I've never done this before...another alpha,” Gulf says, back to his timid self. Mew snickers, “I can tell,” He slides his hand back up to Gulf’s face. This time Gulf lets him. “It’s not much different, I’ll take care of everything else that is” Mew brings Gulf’s face down, gentle as if pulling away cotton candy, and joins their lips once more.

 

“Let me?” Mew says against his lips, kissing and kissing until Gulf can’t keep himself up anymore. He nods, nervous as to what his assent will entail for him. His answer comes in the form of Mew sliding a hand behind Gulf’s back and then flipping him onto it. The next time Gulf opens his eyes Mew is staring down at him, a cheeky smirk across his lips. “Don’t worry tiger, we’ll go slow” Mew kisses him again, the scent of soil and rain like a blanket as it falls on top of him, the weight of it making Gulf feel drunk again.  

 

He doesn’t know it’s happening until it is. Mew is pressing their bodies together and it’s driving Gulf insane. He feels too close and not close enough all at the same time. The smell is really too strong, Gulf thinks again. His eyes can’t keep focus, and Mew is too busy kissing down Gulf’s neck to realize. Gulf can feel his blood boiling, as Mew goes lower and lower. The further Mew travels the worse it gets.  

 

It’s like his body can’t take the space, he needs Mew back up, kissing him right that instant. Gulf’s hand feels like it’s underwater as he reaches for Mew, his skin feels itchy, like ants are crawling all over his arms. It only subsides once his fingers connect with Mew’s. “Hm?” Mew looks up at him, and Gulf doesn’t know what he sees but it must convince him to do just what Gulf needs. Because in the next second he’s coming back to kiss Gulf’s lips. “You okay?” He asks, fingers brushing away the hair that has fallen on Gulf’s forehead.

 

Gulf nods again but he’s not really sure he is. Because he can’t stand to be even this far away from Mew, their noses already touching. His teeth ache, like he’s just eaten something too sweet. He tries to grind them together but the ache just gets worse. He feels across Mew’s back until he comes up to his neck. His fingers brush over Mew’s scent glands, can sense the scent getting headier as Mew closes his eyes. He doesn’t know why he does it, just that he needs to. Gulf lifts himself up and kisses Mew right on his scent glands. He feels like he’s drinking water with how strong the smell of rain is this close, somehow he can no longer get enough of it. He feels desperate, licking across Mew’s skin like it will bring him salvation. He sucks at the skin and feels Mew’s hand come up to support his head, fingers digging into his hair.  

 

His teeth are still aching, he can’t help himself so he just bites. He doesn’t mean to make it deep but still manages to draw blood. All of a sudden he’s ripped away, Mew staring down at him in shock. Mew pulls his own hand away from his neck and watches as it comes away wet and red. “Did you just bite me?” Mew asks, still bewildered. Gulf thinks he might have, his teeth don’t ache anymore and his head is much clearer. He can still taste the rain on his tongue. “Is that not allowed?” Gulf smiles, reaching up to pull Mew down to connect their lips again.  

 

He needs it, whatever Mew is offering.  

 

Mew straightens up only to take off his own shirt, his muscles rippling underneath the faint moonlight. He unbuckles his belt too, throws it to the floor along with the rest of their clothes. “So much for slow,” is what he says before Gulf feels his slacks being opened and then slipped off his legs. Mew is back on top of him now, between his legs this time. Before Gulf can focus in on how foreign this all feels to him, Mew slides a hand down his chest. He doesn’t stop until Gulf is groaning.  

 

The next time he kisses Mew, their eyes meet before their lips and Gulf can see that ever present look. Hungry, starving.  

 

 

Gulf is definitely not a morning person. His entire face contorts into a grimace at the sun's appearance. He tries to shield his eyes but in the end that too is too much work for his heavy limbs. He opts for turning his head instead. He’s falling back asleep when he feels a deep weight settle on his chest. Memories from last night flash through his head and he groans, it’s entirely too early to be having to deal with last night’s mistakes. He cracks one eye open and sees a mop of hair, Mew’s face buried in his neck. He can smell his own cocoa scent more now that his pills have worn off. He looks around for a clock and spots one to his left on a table.  

 

He still has some time before he needs to head into work. Hopefully he can arrive before everyone else and get changed in his office. Thank god he keeps a spare suit in there in case he has to sleep in the office some days, a trick he learned during his intern days. The pressure on his chest is starting to become unbearable now that he has noticed it. He tries to turn Mew over but the damn alpha is super heavy. The jostling around must have woken Mew up though, because he starts to stretch, arms tightening around Gulf. “Oi, Oi I’m not a pillow that hurts,” Gulf says, smacking at the arms wrapped around his middle.  

 

Mew seems to find that amusing since all he does is laugh. His voice sounds so nice in the morning, Gulf hates himself for even thinking it. “Let go, I have to get to work soon” Gulf reiterates, hand wrapping around Mew’s forearm. He feels warm even now. It must be contagious because Gulf swears, they are almost the same temperature. He’s never felt this warm before in his entire life.  

 

Mew just mumbles before rolling away, he turns his back to Gulf without a care in the world. Gulf holds back a huff as he gets up to take a shower. Except when he gets up the ache in his chest seems to expand. He grabs at his sternum like he can feel what’s wrong with his fingers. It hurts so much it’s becoming impossible to breathe. Mew must hear him gaping like a fish out of water because suddenly he’s face-to-face with a very anxious Mew. “What’s wrong?” Mew grabs at his shoulders, concern evident on his face. Gulf just continues to try and drag in breath after breath unsuccessfully, starting to feel lightheaded.  

 

“Okay. You're hyperventilating. Try to take deep breaths” Mew tries to demonstrate by taking exaggerated breaths in and out. Gulf is too panicked to listen properly; his chest doesn’t ache as much but he can’t seem to catch his breath. Mew grabs Gulf’s face and tries to catch his eyes. “Look at me,” Mew caresses his cheek with a thumb, tender and easy. “Look at me,” He repeats and Gulf looks, as if the voice had commanded him to. “Follow me,” Mew inhales, holding it for a few seconds before letting it out and then repeating. Gulf copies him until his breathing evens out. Everything comes back into focus, Mew’s chocolate brown eyes, his warm hands on Gulf’s face and the dull pang inside his chest.  

 

Gulf presses down on his heart again, hoping to make the feeling disappear. Like a string being pulled taut, the ache manifests into a sharp tether. Gulf can feel a deep pool gathering inside, a well of feelings and thoughts, emotions riddled like a puzzle he can’t fit together. Mew seems to feel the same because he’s looking down at himself in wonder. His hand is trembling where it rests on his thigh. “What is this?” Gulf asks, voice barely a squeak. He’s too afraid of the answer.  

 

“A bond,” Mew whispers, eyes hidden for the first time since Gulf has met him.  

 

 

 

 

 

In the end, yesterday really wasn’t Gulf’s day.