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"I'm only important when you need something from me."

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47- "I'm only important when you need something from me." 

Joan sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. As the music director, she had a lot of work, and she hated it sometimes. She loved the queens, but sometimes the work overwhelmed her. Just like today. 

Earlier, Maggie had messed up a chord. It was only one small thing, and everyone continued without a hitch, but Joan felt resentment at Maggie for her small mistake. Maggie had done it before, but of course it was expected, not everything can go smoothly. But god, did Joan wish Maggie could at least be able to get back on track without Bessie having to move them along! 

Joan knew she shouldn't be so mad, but she was. After all, Maggie wouldn't get the blame. She was Anne's lady in waiting, and so she must be soooooo much more important than the remaining three. Anne had always been popular with the fans, and so the fans saw Maggie as someone just as fun and so they loved her too. But they probably didn't care about the remaining three. Just the thought of Maggie at this point made her blood boil.

 Joan was the music director, which meant this all falls on her shoulders, and this wasn't something she could handle every single time one mistake was made. The fans were talking about it too, how she should be more responsible. No, not Maggie, who had made the mistake, Joan, who was the music director, because as the director "she should be able to keep the rest in check." Everyone whined and bitched about how she was doing a terrible job managing the show, but when they needed something, who would they come running to? Her! She heard a few steps from behind her, and she glanced back, a glare hitting the poor soul unfortunate enough to come across Joan when she was in a terrible mood. 

The poor soul looking at her with a concerned look was Maria, their drummer. "Joan?" Maria's gentle features scrunched up in a frown as she looked at the director with worry. 

Joan scowled, and though she didn't want to take out her anger on the Spaniard, clearly her temper had other plans. "What do you want? The show is over." Joan didn't yell, but the spite in her voice and the annoyance shining in her eyes said it all. 

Maria warily took a step forward. "I just want to check on you? You seemed stressed after the show-"

 Joan rolled her eyes and waved her hand in a mocking motion. "I'm only important if you need something from me." She spat. "So what is it? Did poor old Maggie mix up her chords and needs help?" She could see Maria's face contort into one of horror. Horror at what Joan said, how she was acting, making fun of her fellow ladies in waiting. But Joan didn't wait for Maria to answer. She was sick of only being called upon when she was needed. As she stomped passed Maria, Maria tried to hook her arm between Joan's, but Joan snatched her arm away, and started running away from the drummer. Maria held a hand out. "Joan!" But Joan didnt listen. She was sick of listening to the others.

 As Joan ran away from the Spanish woman, the only thing she could hear were the small sobs escaping from herself, and the Spaniards soft cries that coaxed her to go back.