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Blind Trust

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Gulf POV

- Phi, why are you doing this?

Gulf’s anguished voice sounded all around the house. It was easy to tell he was about to cry. And the reason was no other one than…

Mew Suppasit.

Gulf felt like his all world was falling apart. He never actually thought, the person he loved the most in the world would do this to him. He fought, and fought, with all his strength to hold on, but it seemed it didn’t pay off at all. And now his worst nightmare was right in front of his very own eyes.

- What do you mean? - Mew asked with tired eyes.

Tears build up in Gulf’s eyes as he heard the defeat in his partner’s voice.

- Why are you doing this to us? Why are you giving up? - Gulf was frustrated with his Phi.

Why wouldn’t he fight? Why was Gulf the only one fighting for this?

- I’m just doing what I should’ve done a long time ago. Now, I’m strong enough to do it.

- No! Don’t lie to my freaking face! - even though Gulf was an easy-going type of person, he was very passionate about the things that mattered to him. He felt his voice rising - Don’t say you’re doing this now because you feel strong! You are just doing it ‘cause you’re afraid!

- Turn down your voice, I’m still older than you - Mew said in a low tone.

- Being older doesn’t mean you’re in the right here. I’m upset! You won’t listen to anything I say. You’re doing this, and still, you want me to calm down?! You’re such a coward!

Gulf knew nothing he said was going to pass Mew’s walls. The older made a decision and was being stubborn about it. Turning around, the younger looked at the room they were at. Mew’s living room was a place that held a lot of good memories. Of them. Together. Laughing. Being themselves. Loving each other.

But now, it was also the place where his heart broke into hundreds of pieces.

- Did you ever trust me Phi? - he asked defeated.

- What kind of question is that Gulf? - Mew answered frustrated.

- It’s a simple question. After all the time we’ve been together, did you ever fully trust me?

- Of course I did… Of course I trust you Gulf - Mew said without looking at his eyes.

- No. You didn’t. You want to know why? Because if you did, you wouldn’t be doing this.

Gulf had been so certain, his actions would bring down Mew’s fears and insecurities. He actually thought his love was enough. He put so much effort into their relationship. He tried to show him, every single day, how much he loved him and that he was the light of his life. But it seemed it wasn’t enough.

His love wasn’t enough.

- Are you certain about this P’Mew? - he felt like giving up. He didn’t have any strength left in him. If Mew was giving them up, what was the point of him fighting a losing battle?

- I… - Mew started to say.

- Let me just tell you something - the younger interrupted him - if you do this, there is no going back. I will stop fighting for this. I will stop treating you like I’ve been doing all this time. My heart will break and there will be no way of putting it back together. If you regret it in the future, there won’t be any trust left in me to forgive you. Do you still want to do this?

They looked at each other’s eyes. One looking for something that would give him a little bit of hope. The other one, looking for the truth of the words that just been spoken out.

- I…

Gulf held his breath.