Akaashi wriggles in his bed, annoyed and stomach growling. He gives an annoyed groan as he flails around and kicks the bed.
I just ate. It wasn’t but a few hours ago. A few hours? Yeah, a few hours.
He checks the clock. 2am.
He gives a defeated sigh before pulling himself from bed and dragging himself to the kitchen. As soon as he opens his bedroom door, he finds Kuroo, his roommate, sitting at the kitchen table. The lights are down low, and he’s intently focused on a textbook resting on the table. He’s got his glasses on to help aid his tired eyes. As he reads, he mumbles it back to the textbook.
Akaashi raises an amused and worried eyebrow. It was 2am, after all.
He’s in the kitchen searching for something fast and easy to eat before Kuroo notices him.
“Oh. Hey.” He softly offers, his voice tired and eyes showing how much he’d given up on life. “You’re up.” He pauses for a moment, letting the information sink in. “Shit. You’re up. What time is it?”
“Two.” Akaashi mumbles before pulling a box of cereal from the cabinet and then putting it back. Measly cereal wasn’t going to fill his hunger. He’d have to eat the whole box.
“Oh.” Kuroo gives a deep sigh of relief. Akaashi catches him return to his book before slowly turning back toward him. “Why are you awake?”
Akaashi gives an indifferent shrug, grateful Kuroo hadn’t noticed him flailing around like a toddler. “Too hungry too sleep.”
A smile spread across Kuroo’s face. Akaashi knows it’s supposed to be a teasing one, but he’s too tired to make it effective.
“Why are you awake?” Akaashi asserts, quickly turning back toward the cabinet so Kuroo wouldn’t see his smitten smile.
“I know you’re half asleep and focused on eating, but I’m sure you’ve noticed the textbook in front of me.” Kuroo tiredly drawls.
“I see that.” Akaashi hums back, still not looking at Kuroo. His sleepy voice was always something he’d been weak to. It’d been an unsuspected danger when they’d decided to share an apartment together. Not that seeing Kuroo everyday wasn’t worth all of the hiding Akaashi had to do so he wouldn’t find out about his ridiculous crush. “I meant why are you studying at 2am. You’re obviously tired. Go to bed.”
“Can’t.” Kuroo stares into his textbook now, flipping a page and sighing. “Got a test tomorrow. Woefully unprepared.”
Akaashi rolls his eyes and momentarily forgoes finding food. He instead sits beside Kuroo and pulls his hands away from the textbook and table. “Tetsurou,” he firmly says. Kuroo stares at him with as wide and surprised eyes as he can muster with how tired he is at Akaashi calling him by his given name. “We both know you’re overprepared for this text tomorrow and have studied far enough ahead that you’d probably do decent on the next one as well.”
One side of Kuroo’s mouth slips up like he’s in pain.
“Go. To. Bed. If you don’t sleep, you’re going to do horribly.”
“Thanks.” Kuroo replies flatly and starts to pull his hands away to return to studying.
Akaashi grips his hands tighter and presses down the anxiety and elation in his heart from practically holding hands with Kuroo. “I’m serious. You and I both know how important sleep is.” He tries to adopt an intimidating scowl. “Go. Now.”
“Can’t sleep.” Kuroo sighs. He takes off his glasses and rubs his eyes, making him look more tired than ever. “Just can’t. I’ve tried.”
Akaashi stares at him intently. Kuroo had been known to have bouts of insomnia due to his anxiety. Akaashi usually let him be. Who was he to tell Kuroo how to live his life? Besides, it wasn’t like Akaashi hadn’t been forced to do the same on occasion. But this, this he was concerned about. Kuroo had never looked so terrible before.
Akaashi leans in slightly. “What can I do to help?”
Kuroo gives him an actual smile now, albeit still weary. “Thanks for offering, but it’s really not necessary. I got myself into this mess. I’ll be fine.”
“No.” Akaashi squeezes Kuroo’s hands. His anxiety dissipating. “How can I help?”
“You don’t have to do—”
“No. I want to.” Steadfast, Akaashi looks into Kuroo’s eyes until he can’t bear how much he finds him adorable.
Kuroo gives Akaashi’s hands a squeeze now and a faint smile. “Has the hunger finally gotten to you?”
Akaashi’s stomach gives a small growl. He blushes and gives a grimace. “If I say no now, it won’t be believable.”
Kuroo gives a small laugh through his nose. “Make me some food too then? I can’t remember the last time I ate.”
A bright smile passes across Akaashi’s face. Cooking was one of his specialties. He cooked for both of them sometimes, but he tried not to do it too much, lest Kuroo catches onto how much affection he put into their meals together.
“Have any requests?”
“Something warm and that might kill me.”
Oh, no. I won’t make anything that will kill you. I wouldn’t be able to bear it.
Akaashi gives a grin that goes to his eyes. He knew it was too eager, but he couldn’t contain how happy he was. “Coming right up.”
Kuroo closes his eyes and gives a relieved smile. “You’re the best.” He leans in and gives Akaashi a peck on the lips before mindlessly pulling his hands from Akaashi’s and returning to his textbook.
Akaashi sits there stunned for a few seconds, heat rising up to his face, jaw dropped, heart racing, brain lost.
What just happened?
He stares at Kuroo intently for a couple of seconds, searching for an answer. Kuroo’s already lost in his textbook again, slowly mouthing words back to it, ignorant of Akaashi’s existence.
Akaashi shakes his head before shakily standing up.
He’s just sleep deprived. He probably didn’t even mean to do it.
That doesn’t stop Akaashi’s heart from jumping from joy. It was something he’d never thought could actually happen. Kuroo was married to chemistry. He hadn’t dated or even had anyone over the entire time they’d lived together, which had been just over two years now.
Akaashi quietly and enthusiastically makes them both a quick meal. Normally, especially considering Kuroo just accidentally kissed him, he would’ve made a whole extra-special meal complete with appetizers and dessert. But it was the middle of the night, 2am now encroaching 3am, and maybe, if Kuroo realized what he’d done, it would’ve seemed a little overzealous. Simple was best for now.
Once it’s done, he sits a plate beside Kuroo, who doesn’t notice. Pushing down his annoyance, Akaashi sits across from him. He stares at him intently, and maybe a little selfishly, before calling out to him.
He doesn’t get a response.
He gives a huff and slowly pulls the textbook away from Kuroo.
“Huh?” Kuroo’s head snaps up and he looks at Akaashi like he was confused as to why he was there.
Akaashi furrows his eyebrows. “Where you sleeping?”
“Uhhh.” Kuroo grimaces and runs a hand through his hair. “I think so?”
Akaashi pulls the textbook completely away from him, snaps it closed, and sets it on the chair beside him. “Okay. This is officially confiscated until class tomorrow. Now eat your food and go to bed.”
“But ‘Kashi,” Kuroo whines.
Akaashi has to bite back a smile from Kuroo using his nickname.
Kuroo looks at him more sternly now, his jaw tensing. “I need to study. Give me my book back.”
Akaashi looks back at him, his own face hardening. “No. It’s 3am, you haven’t gone to bed yet, you’re so tired you forgot I was here, and you even fell asleep sitting up. You need sleep.”
Kuroo grinds his teeth. “You’re not my mother.”
“No, but I’m worried about you. You’re killing yourself.” Akaashi looks at him intently before taking a bite of his food. If Kuroo really wanted his textbook back, he’d get up and come get it. He knew he needed to sleep he was just too stubborn to admit it.
Kuroo stares at him for a moment more before pulling his plate toward him and starts eating. Its not but a few seconds later that Akaashi hears Kuroo sniffling. Startled, he looks up to find Kuroo crying. Akaashi’s mouth falls open. The last time he’d seen Kuroo cry was in high school when Nekoma lost its chance to go to nationals.
“Why are you crying?” Akaashi quietly whispers, almost hoping Kuroo wouldn’t respond.
Kuroo gives another sniff before looking up from his plate. “I can’t remember the last time I had a real meal was. And it’s. So. Good.” A few more tears start to form, and he rubs his eyes with the back of his arm. “Kind of pathetic, right?”
More like agonizing. It hurts.
Akaashi gives a faint-hearted smile. “Yeah. Absolutely and irrevocably pathetic.”
Kuroo gives a laugh through his nose, smiles, and shakes his head. “That’s ‘Kashi. You’re mean, but you’re still the best.”
Akaashi can only offer a small, hopelessly pathetic smile back.
They finish the meal without saying anything else. Akaashi is the first one to excuse himself and makes a beeline back to his room with Kuroo’s textbook in hand. He probably still wouldn’t go back to bed—he still had notes he could read, after all—but Akaashi hoped the lack of textbook and a full stomach would help inspire him to go the fuck to bed.
Despite the night’s events, Akaashi let himself drift quickly back to sleep. It wasn’t like he ever slept enough either. That was part of being a graduate student.
Akaashi’s still in bed, chasing after those last few moments of sleep, when his bedroom door slams open. He lurches up in bed to find Kuroo standing in the doorway looking flustered with one hand still on the door. Fearing he was going to be upset about his missing textbook, Akaashi narrowed his eyes and prepared for a fight.
“I kissed you last night!” Kuroo blurts out. His eyes widen after he says it like he’d just realized what came out of his mouth. “Holy shit.” He covers his mouth. “I’m so sorry.”
Please don’t be. I don’t want you to be. It hurts too much.
Akaashi feigns an indifferent shrug. “It’s fine.”
Even though Kuroo’s still covering his mouth with his hand, but Akaashi can tell his mouth had dropped open.
Defensively, Akaashi wraps his arms around his knees. “You were so out of it that you didn’t know what you were doing.”
Kuroo just stands there unmoving. Tears start to drip down his face.
Akaashi jumps out of bed and starts wiping tears from his face. “Shh. It’s okay. It’s really okay. I’m not mad. I get it. You can just pretend it never happened.”
Kuroo gives a sniff and shakes his head. “I can’t.” He croaks out. “No. I don’t want to.”
Akaashi’s heart and hands stop at that. His whole body moves to somewhere else and he’s left staring and trying to figure out everything and nothing at the same time.
“I’m sorry.” Kuroo whispers again. “I’m sorry.” He wraps Akaashi into a hug. Akaashi freezes. Hugging was something they’d done only twice in the last seven years they’d known each other.
Brain coming online again, and heart not wanting to miss this chance and help soothe the love of his life, Akaashi wraps his arms around Kuroo. “Shh, shh, shh. I told you. It’s okay. You don’t have to cry over it.”
Kuroo gives a few more heaves before breaking apart from Akaashi. “No. It’s not okay.” He takes a deep breath. Somehow, it makes him look even more ragged that last night. Defeated. A man who’s gone to war and watched all of his comrades die before him. “I like you. I like you so much. I can’t just do things like that.”
Akaashi’s mouth falls open. He blinks a few times. He manages to close his mouth again. He gives a slow swallow. “Wh-at?” He manages to croak out.
Kuroo takes both of Akaashi’s hands in his and shyly looks away. “I love you. I’ve loved you since before we moved in together. I was so happy when you agreed. I’ve gotten to see you every morning and eat meals together and just be together.”
“I—.” Akaashi closes his mouth.
What if he’s just sleep deprived still? This is exactly what I want. How could it ever be real? This isn’t one of his dumb pranks, right?
Akaashi minutely shakes his head.
No. Tetsurou wouldn’t pull a prank like this.
“It’s okay.” Kuroo gives a soft smile. “And I really am sorry for kissing you. And dumping my heart on you at the ass crack of dawn.”
“I—.” Akaashi begins again.
I feel the same way. I’ve loved every second of us living together. I was over the moon when you suggested it. I’ve loved you for so long.
Akaashi closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and then locks eyes with Kuroo. “I don’t have any words to say that aren’t cheesy as hell, but I’m also glad that we live together. I love seeing you every day. And I love,” he bites his lip, “I love you.”
Kuroo’s the one to stare blankly at him now. “Wow. I must be much more sleep deprived than I thought I was.”
Akaashi glares at him and lightly punches him in the stomach. “Don’t ruin this.”
Kuroo gives a sly grin. “You just said you love me.”
“Then there’s no way it could be ruined.” He leans in close to Akaashi, his eyes fluttering to his lips.
“Not going to steal a kiss like last time?” Akaashi muses.
“Oh, fuck you.” Kuroo grumbles before pressing their lips together.
And, oh. The real thing, an intentional kiss, left Akaashi breathless. He found himself hugging Kuroo and kissing him back without hesitation.
Somewhere far away, Kuroo’s morning alarm starts going off. He pulls away with a pout.
“It’s chemistry test time.”
Akaashi gives a smirk. “Yes. Your one true love calls. Leave me before she discovers your mistress.”
“You shit.” Kuroo laughs. He places his hand under Akaashi’s chin. “Even science could never measure up to you.” He gives Akaashi another kiss. “But I am going to need that textbook back. It’s an open book test.”
Akaashi’s eyes widen in disbelief and annoyance. “An open book test?” Akaashi screeches. “Why the hell did push yourself so hard if you get to use your textbook!”
“I have issues, okay?” Kuroo pouts. “But,” he smirks at Akaashi, “I can’t say it was a bad decision.”
Akaashi bites the inside of his cheeks and grabs the book he’d been hiding under his pillow. “Good luck.”
“Give me a good luck kiss?”
Akaashi rolls his eyes before leaning in and giving Kuroo a quick kiss on the cheek. “You’ll get a real kiss after you get a full 8-hours of sleep.”
“That’s impossible!” Kuroo shrieks.
“Make the impossible possible then.” Akaashi argues as he pushes Kuroo out of his room. “Now go or you’re going to be late.”
Kuroo wiggles out of Akaashi’s grasp and turns around. “I’ll go if you promise to go on a date with me this weekend.”
Akaashi bites his cheeks but his smile creeps through anyway. “As if you have to ask.”
“Yay!” Kuroo leans in deftly to steal another kiss before running back to his room.
Akaashi gives a small laugh before shaking his head. Rooming with Kuroo Tetsurou had been one of his best decisions he’d ever made.