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Published:
2020-05-04
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2020-08-31
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19/?
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The Gorgon and the Dog Demon

Summary:

AU Kagome is the daughter of the Gorgon Medusa, and is hiding out in Japan. She happens to meet a sexy hanyou who is in disguised as a human.

Notes:

A/N I do not own Inuyasha or any of the characters portrayed herein.

Chapter Text

The subway car was loud to her ears. She had read a few centuries ago that when one was lacking in one sense their other senses tended to strengthen to adapt. But it wasn’t like she couldn’t see at all. What appeared to be soft onyx waves of hair gently swished around her head. In her reality it wasn’t hair at all. She could see the world through the eyes of the snakes that sprung from her head. She was very fortunate she had found that witch almost 2 millennia ago, who helped her with this disguise spell. She never would’ve survived this long otherwise, whether she was an immortal or not.

She could feel eyes on her, but tried so hard to ignore the feeling. It put her on edge, her blue eyes looked ahead not seeing anything, as her mind opened the snakes’ eyes and she glanced around to find the culprit. Was she in danger again? She had no way to defend herself on a subway car, besides there were far too many people here to do what she would need to do. The snakes near her right shoulder zoned in on a tall muscular man with long brown hair in a ponytail. His eyes were a deep, cerulean blue and were looking her up and down as if she were a steak placed in front of a starving man.

She knew her stop was at least 3 more away, but it seemed safer to be walking or to wait for the next train. Her snakes looked him up and down in a much more predatory manner, she had to find a way to distract him while she left the train at the next station. He was dressed in shorts, a tight fitting tank top, and had a sweat band on his brow. Then she spotted her opportunity. He had a water bottle on his hip. She turned towards the window and smiled to herself. The train began to slow for the next stop and she inched her way towards the door.

Unfortunately, it seemed as though he planned on following her here too. She closed her eyes and focused on the water bottle on his left hip. She reached her mind towards the water in it and felt the thunderstorm of power within her. She was only a step or so away from the door when the train stopped and his water bottle burst open and poured all over his shorts. His voice was loud and angry “What the hell? Aw Geez!” as she stepped off the train and the door closed behind her. She stepped away from the train and made a show of clicking her white cane acting like she couldn’t see the world around her.

After walking on the street for a block or so she noticed an even set of footsteps keeping perfect speed with her a little ways behind her. She stepped a bit faster, trying not to be noticeable and the steps sped up in time. Her heart sank, ‘what is it with people today? Just because I’m attractive, doesn’t mean I want to be gawked at, or followed.’ She focused through the snakes' eyes again and was surprised to recognize the person following her. She had a high ponytail of deep brown hair, and pink eyeshadow. Her coworker and the closest thing to a friend Kagome allowed herself in this world. Was Sango following her home? She did tend to worry about her an awful lot. Of course it’s not like Kagome could tell her she’d been taking care of herself for well over 2100 years. Since that self acclaimed “hero” Perseus killed her mother, and of course he was helped by the one who cursed her mother in the first place. She continued walking towards her apartment, it wasn’t extremely far, and up until her arrival in Japan a few months ago she had walked almost everywhere. The subway system did make things easier, but she missed the quiet of her home in Greece.

After she got to the corner and pushed the crosswalk button she called behind her, “Sango, why don’t you walk up here with me? Do I really wanna know why you’re stalking me?”

“How did you even know I was there? I was keeping my distance perfectly. Are you sure you’re blind?”

If not for the grin she could see on her friend’s face she would have been nervous, but she smiled softly at her words tired of the lies she’d been telling for centuries. “Nope, sorry. My eyes don’t work at all.” The words came easily, and at least it wasn’t a complete lie, her eyes were completely non-functioning. Ever since she blinded herself 2300 years ago. It seemed like a no brainer once she found out she could harness her snakes' vision. Her eyes were the reason she had remained hidden for more than 200 years.

The crosswalk dinged and Kagome began walking with Sango keeping an easy pace next to her instead of behind. “I saw you get off the subway at the wrong stop and I was worried you were lost. So I figured I would make sure you got home safely.”

“I had this guy who was staring at me, I felt so uncomfortable I figured I would just walk the last couple blocks. I could feel his eyes on me, like I was a hunk of meat. So here I am. Wanna come up for snacks?”

She can see Sango’s head bob slightly in answer before she remembers who she is talking to and her voice is clear and decisive, “That sounds great, are we still on for the band tonight?”

She can’t hold back the laughter, “Of course, Sango. I’ll meet you at the Jewel at 8. Who’s playing anyway?”

“It’s the same band that we heard a few weeks ago, ‘The Sacred Arrows’-”

“Oh I remember, I could barely pry you off the dance floor. They had some excellent songs. Ah, we’re here. Come on up, I’ll make tea.” She typed in her entry code, and they went upstairs, her apartment was on the 4th floor. It had an open floor plan, which would normally be out of her price range with her newly acquired teaching job, luckily after living for 2100 years she had amassed a decent amount of wealth. She made it a point to keep that part underwraps though, since she didn’t want people to look at her differently, or accidentally get any unwanted attention.

Sango was always amazed at the gorgeous state of her friend’s apartment, they worked together as teachers at the local public school, and they definitely didn’t make much money, but she had some beautiful furniture and decor. She assumed Kagome had brought most of it from Greece with her, and it had been in her family for a while. A lot of the stuff looked like antiques, beautiful vases that portrayed ancient battles, huge statues, and columns. It was completely obvious that Kagome loved history, is it any wonder she became a history teacher.

Kagome brewed a pot of tea and brought out some pastries she had purchased from a local bakery the day prior. She turned on the radio and sat next to Sango on the sofa. As they chatted away about the classes and everything else they had planned for the following week. Kagome liked to bounce lecture ideas off of her dear friend, as sometimes it was hard to keep up with the times when she was over 2 millennia old.

After an hour or so of chatting Sango went home to finish up a few things and get ready, and Kagome took a nice hot shower. Using her snakes' eyes she picked out a lovely darker green dress. She arranged the appearance of her hair so that it looked like most of it was up in a high bun but there were loose waves and curls hanging around her ears. Her snakes stayed close to the top of her head easily enough. After making sure her makeup was flawless, she grabbed a small purse and went to catch the train.

As she sat on a seat near the door she felt eyes on her again, and she couldn’t help but dread the idea that it was somehow the same man as earlier. She focused through her snakes and spotted what could only be described as a present day Adonis. She thought back to the amazing sculptures of that man for a brief instant and felt her cheeks flush. But looking back at this tall drink of water she knew this man was a God in his own right. His hair was long and glistened silver, his eyes were a burning gold, and she could see through the spell he was using that there were two triangular ears atop his head. She immediately looked away and hoped he couldn’t see through her spell as well as she could his. Was that why he was staring at her? Oh Hades! Was she going to have to leave Japan?

She could feel her heart beating a rapid rhythm in her chest and she searched around herself to see if there was some way to distract him like she had earlier with the other man. But unfortunately, he carried no water bottle, and he was dressed in what looked like a rather nice set of dress pants and a deep red button up shirt. She could see where it outlined his muscles and for an instant she forgot about her current dilemma as she imagined running her hands across that tight chest.

Her blush returned as the reality set into her. Obviously she was ridiculously attracted to him, and he was still staring at her, so the likelihood of him knowing her secret was rising. She was going to have to get off the train immediately even if it wasn’t her stop. She guessed she could walk to The Jewel, but judging by how long she’d been on the train it was still several blocks. Maybe he would get off at the next stop.

As soon as that thought popped in her head the voice over the loudspeaker announced the stop. It was still 2 before the one she needed but several people got up and left. As the seats next to her emptied she chanced a glance at him again and he was moving towards the door. She almost breathed a sigh of relief, until he took the open seat next to her. Holy Hera! Could her luck get any worse?! And by the Gods of Olympus did he smell amazing! Sexy as hell, and he smelled divine? How was this fair to anyone?

As she is sitting there cursing her rotten luck her phone rings. She pulls it out of her purse, and rotates so he can’t see her face. “Hello?” She tried to sound light and bubbly for whoever was on the other line.

Sango’s voice came through but she sounded distressed, “Kagome, please don’t be mad ok? But my friend is gonna join us and he’s bringing a friend. He’s the one who’s been asking me out for a few months and I figured if we’re together then it won’t be so awkward. Please don’t be mad?”

Kagome sighed inwardly then took a deep breath, “Of course not, Sango. We’re still meeting at 8, right? I’m already on the train.”

She could hear the tension disappear from Sango after she answered, “Yeah I’m getting ready to leave, I’ll meet you there. Are you looking fabulous?”

Kagome laughed heartily, “Well Sango, I just wouldn’t know would I? I happen to like the feel of this dress, but I have no idea what it looks like.”

Sango gasped loudly and she could almost feel the facepalm that she performed, “I am so sorry, Kags. I always manage to overlook that. I feel like such an idiot. I guess I shouldn’t try to tell you that Miroku says his friend is a hottie, since that obviously means nothing to you. Maybe he’ll be a good dancer? I mean you’ve got some of the best moves I’ve ever seen.”

Talking to her best friend alleviated all of her worries about the sexy unknown man who she thought was looking at her, maybe he had been looking at the seat and was hoping to sit down. But she could still feel him side-eyeing her. He didn’t matter. “I don’t know about all of that, Sango. But I will do my best. It’ll be ok though. So long as you don’t abandon me with some stranger, because I will leave and go home. Got it?” She laughed afterwards to make sure Sango knew she was being honest but not angry yet.

“I promise I won’t abandon you for more than one song at a given time, and I owe you a dance too. So we’ll abandon him at least once or twice.” Her laughter immediately made Kagome smile. “Alright, Kags. I have to finish getting ready. See you in a few minutes.”

Kagome hung up, and put her phone back in her purse. She turned back around in time for the loudspeaker to go off stating the next stop. One more to go, and she would be able to leave the Sexy man. She was hoping so hard that he didn’t get off with her, but she figured her luck was definitely not good, so he would more than likely get off at the same stop.

She began humming quietly to distract herself. The first song that came to mind was a very old song she remembered from when she was a child. Several minutes went by, and she was going stir crazy. Sexy man had finally stopped staring at her, but she could see his ears still trained on her. He seemed to have a slight smirk on his face ever since she had answered the phone, which she tried to ignore. He was staring at his phone and scrolling through some sort of social media.

~~~~~
Inuyasha is standing on the subway, he can’t believe he let his ass of a friend convince him to go on a blind date. “Yash come on, this woman is beyond gorgeous, and I’ve been asking her out for what seems like months. Please do not be the biggest cock block in all of history. You don’t have to do anything just come to the club drink a bit and eat dinner. Sango did say her friend was gorgeous if that helps.”

The sigh left him in a rush, “Fucking fine! But you can’t ask for another favor for at least 2 months. You still owe me from last time. Now where are we going?”

Now he was standing in the subway, worrying about his disguise. He knew to others his hair should appear long and black and his dog ears were nonexistent, he had been told he looked like a gang member with his long hair but he liked it. Besides no one could see the real color so at least he blended in mostly. As he was waiting to get off at the stop for the club he noticed this amazingly beautiful woman sitting near the door, she had long wavy hair, that was a deep onyx, and her eyes were an ocean blue. He couldn’t pull his eyes off of her. Until he heard her gasp and he immediately looked away. But she hadn’t actually looked at him. Why had she gasped?

Then the pa system blared in his ears, announcing the next stop and when he looks back he sees the most fetching shade of red dusting her cheeks and everything in him wants to see how far down that blush goes. He pulls his eyes away again and watches several people leave, including the person who was sitting next to this gorgeous specimen. He walks over and sits next to her. He can smell her perfume, which has a light vanilla scent to it, but oddly enough she has a hint of reptile or something. Maybe she works in the Tokyo zoo? But it smells so fresh, unless she’s a snake youkai in disguise. He sniffs again, and there is definitely a strong scent of snakes around her. But she smelled human, so at the very least she was a hanyou. But they were so incredibly rare, how could she have survived without him finding her sooner?

He is thinking about asking her a question when her phone begins to ring. She pulls it out and turns away, but not before he sees a pretty face and a name Sango pop up on her screen. Hmm, could this be the ‘gorgeous’ blind date? No way in hell was he that lucky!

“Hello?”Her voice was beautiful, and he couldn’t explain the things it made him feel at that moment.

He could hear her friend’s response through the speaker and she sounded nervous, “Kagome, please don’t be mad ok? But my friend is gonna join us and he’s bringing a friend. He’s the one who’s been asking me out for a few months and I figured if we’re together then it won’t be so awkward. Please don’t be mad?”

Inuyasha was ready to jump for joy, this stunning creature really was his blind date! Kagome sighed inwardly then took a deep breath, “Of course not, Sango. We’re still meeting at 8, right? I’m already on the train.”

Her friend Sango answered much less tense, “Yeah I’m getting ready to leave, I’ll meet you there. Are you looking fabulous?”

The bombshell, Kagome, laughed beautifully, “Well Sango, I just wouldn’t know would I? I happen to like the feel of this dress, but I have no idea what it looks like.”

Inuyasha pulled his smartphone out and began scrolling so not to appear to be such a creeper, but he heard Sango gasp loudly before she continued, “I am so sorry, Kags. I always manage to overlook that. I feel like such an idiot. I guess I shouldn’t try to tell you that Miroku says his friend is a hottie, since that obviously means nothing to you. Maybe he’ll be a good dancer? I mean you’ve got some of the best moves I’ve ever seen.” With the word hottie he couldn’t help but smirk.

“I don’t know about all of that, Sango. But I will do my best. It’ll be ok though. So long as you don’t abandon me with some stranger, because I will leave and go home. Got it?” She laughed afterwards to make sure Sango knew she was being honest but not angry yet.

Sango responded quickly as if to alleviate any fear, “I promise I won’t abandon you for more than one song at a given time, and I owe you a dance too. So we’ll abandon him at least once or twice. Alright, Kags. I have to finish getting ready. See you in a few minutes.”

He pretended to scroll through his social media, but couldn’t stop focusing on her, even as she turned back to face forward. Maybe this would be a good night after all.

~~~~~

After what felt like an hour which was clearly only 5 or 10 minutes, her stop was announced. She made it a point to unfold her white cane with its red tip and stand up ready to exit when the train stopped. She was the first to exit, and she could see him stand up after her. He allowed her to exit and seemed to wait a few seconds before he exited. She walked at a steady pace hoping to arrive to the club quickly and get a table for 4. She knew even though Sango lived only a few blocks away, she would be late. She was always late, except for work.

She entered quietly and smiled at the host even though it looked as if she couldn’t see anything. “Hi, is there a reservation for 4 under Sango Houko?”

She saw the man nod then he dumbly stared at her in embarrassment, “Yes Miss. Please follow me. Oh do you need me to guide you?”

She couldn’t help but smile, “Thank you, but I think I can follow the sound of your footsteps. Please don’t go too fast though, or I may lose you.” He nodded again, then began walking. She followed him easily enough to a nice table and he told her the server would be there shortly to get her drink order.

The music playing was pretty and calm, and she was just relaxing to the sound when she saw the Sexy man enter the door. She wanted to bash her head against the table, but that would definitely give her away, so she had better not do that. She fixed a blank stare looking straight ahead and pretended not to see him or anything else for that matter. He remained at the front, but she could see him clearly staring at her again. Until someone else walked in and greeted him. He turned away to speak to the newcomer, and her heart dropped. In walked her best friend Sango and another man. They were speaking to the Sexy man.

They approached the table together, and Kagome stays stock still so not to give herself away. Sango’s voice is crystal clear, “Kagome, this is my friend Miroku.”

Miroku’s voice is suave and she could see why Sango was attracted to him, “It is a pleasure to meet you, Miss Kagome.” He even made a little bow, despite the fact that he thought she was blind, which definitely impressed Kagome with his manners.

“And this is his friend Yash.”

Sexy man’s gruff voice thrilled her in ways she was not ready to think about right now, “Yeah, hi. Nice to meet you.”

Kagome bowed at the table to both of them, “It is a pleasure to meet both of you. I’m so glad you could join us.”

Sango sat on Kagome’s right and Yash sat on her left. Miroku was directly across from her, but his eyes seemed to rest on Sango almost continuously. They ordered food and drinks and made small talk until the opening band finally started playing. In the half hour or so she learned that Miroku went to Sango’s father’s dojo, and that’s where he met the lovely vixen, as he called her. Yash and Miroku have been friends for years, they met in high school. Kagome couldn’t help but wonder if his best friend knew his secret or if she was the only one who could see through his disguise. Unfortunately with that thought came the crushing realization that he may be able to see through hers just as easily. As her anxiety began to ascend, the music began to play and she chanced a glance to Sango and was relieved to see her best friend grinning at her.

“Hey wanna grab the first dance?”

Kagome grinned in response, “For you, beautiful, absolutely.”

She and Sango laughed as they stood up, and Sango led her to the dance floor. The song had a good beat which was easy to dance to, and Kagome had a lot of practice in her 2000 years of life. It’s amazing how much music has changed, but she uses all the moves she has learned in the last century to leave everyone’s jaws dropping. She has had enough time to train to do anything. So she can play several musical instruments, and has experience in several forms of dancing including ballet, tap dancing, ballroom, jazz, hip hop, and contemporary. It at least gave her an outlet and something to do.

She looks back at the table and sees Sexy Man’s eyes following her around the dance floor. It’s official, if he can see through her disguise her ruse was already up, so she might as well as have fun in the meantime. If her identity is found out, she’ll have to leave the country, so she wants to enjoy her best friend’s complain while she can.

The song finally comes to an end, and her chest is heaving from the exertion. Sango even being as fit as she is, has also broken into a slight sweat and is trying to slow her heart rate with long deep breaths.

“Some day, you’ll have to tell me where you learned to dance. You are definitely amazing.”

Kagome laughs easily, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you Sango. But maybe one day, I will divulge my secrets.” They wander aimlessly back to the table, Kagome keeps her hand on Sango’s shoulder to keep track of her in the crowd. They got back to the table and Kagome took a long draught from her water glass. Miroku stood up and met Sango before she could sit.

“May I have the next one, please?”

Kagome tried so hard not to notice the deep blush on her friend’s cheeks, but it was painfully obvious, even to the blind woman at the table. Sango nodded silently, as if she didn’t trust herself to speak at that moment, and Miroku pulled her chair out for her to take her seat.

Yash’s voice cut through her hazy thoughts and brought her attention back full force, “So, where did you learn all those moves, it looks like you’ve had a lot of professional training. You seem to know a lot of types of dancing.”

Before Kagome can respond Sango answered him, “Good luck getting that answer, I’ve been asking her that for a long time and she hasn’t even told me yet.”

Kagome can feel her cheeks turn a bright pink, as she send a silent glare to Sango, “Some secrets are best kept hidden. Perhaps one day like on your deathbed I will divulge that information. Until then not on your life. If I told you I’d have to kill you, I’m afraid.”

Sango’s laughter rang clear throughout and MIroku smiled at her as she laughed. It was very endearing the way his eyes seemed to radiate towards the beautiful woman next to him. It seemed so rare and almost out of character for him. Hopefully this one wouldn’t end up destroying her friend, or else she may very well have to enact revenge. Nothing huge, but something definitely that would teach him a lesson.

She happened to look towards Yash and his eyes were still on her, but she noticed he didn't seem to be looking at her “hair” but her eyes, maybe he’d never seen a blind person’s eyes, or perhaps he could see through her spell and could see the wounds she had inflicted so many years ago. She was going to have to figure out what he could see, and if she was in danger, but how could she do that without giving too much away. Finally Miroku seemed to get tired of the silence, “Yash it seems like you’re staring. Do you see something you like?” The question was followed by a loud Oomph and a whoosh of air fluttered across the table. “Sango was no longer blushing but her cheeks were red with her ire. If looks could kill Miroku would at the very least be hospitalized by now.

“Miroku, not everyone is a lecher like you. You brought me here so I could meet her and I’m trying to get to know her, it doesn't mean I’m trying to get into her pants like some people.”

Now it was Kagome’s turn to blush, and she felt her eyes go wide. Their server came over at that exact moment to offer refills, and Kagome asked for another water. After their glasses were filled or replaced Kagome spoke up, “Sango can you help me to the restroom? I don’t think I can weave through all the people by myself.”

Sango immediately stood up and led her to the ladies room where Kagome burst out laughing instead of going in the stall. “Really Sango? This is the guy that you want to date so badly? What could you possibly see in him?”

Sango huffed in response then began to laugh along with her. “He has never been that bad, I think Yash is a bad influence on him or something, since he’s never been there when I’ve spoken to him before. Am I just a magnet for terrible men?” Their laughter continued for a few more moments before they left to go back to the table.

~~~~~

As Yash sat at the table watching the bombshell of a woman walk away behind her friend he felt a sharp kick to his shin, “Man What the hell are you doing? I told you I really like this girl, do not fuck this up for me! If you do so help me I will never be your wingman again.”

At that Yash scoffed, “Who the fuck ever asked you to be my wingman? And I’m sorry you haven’t shown her who you really are yet, but she's gonna figure it out eventually. Wouldn’t you rather she like you for who you are, not who you’re pretending to be? Or are you that hard up for sex that you don’t care? Seriously, make better choices, dipshit.”

Miroku had the gall to look offended for a minute, “Yash, you don’t understand when I’m with her I am a different person I don’t want to just bang her. I want to be with her. She makes me feel different from everything else I’ve ever felt.”

Yash just sat staring at his friend for a minute, “Damn Miroku, you’ve got it real bad. OK I’ll lay off. It’s hard for me since this is a side I’ve never seen before. By the way, what is the deal with Kagome, was she born blind?”
Miroku begins to shrug then jerks his chin towards something behind him and he sees their dates returning from the restroom. This time Yash stands up and pulls out Kagome’s chair as Miroku does the same thing for Sango.

They sit for a minute before another song comes on and Sango looks at MIroku, “I believe I promised you a dance.” He stands up and they saunter to the dance floor.

~~~~~

Kagome was sitting in her chair trying to think of what to say to this sexy adonis, and coming up short. In 2000 years she has never been one to flirt or anything like that with men or women. She’s never wanted that part of life, not that it didn't seem wonderful, but she couldn’t take those kinds of risks. She wasn't a virgin per se, but it had been a few hundred years since she had been with a man. It was too great a risk, and birth control didn't work on gods as far as she knew. She was not going to bring another creature into the world to share her curse for eternity. If she had the ability to commit suicide she probably would have tried, but that stupid "being an immortal" thing ruined it.

“So how long have you lived in Tokyo?” At the sound of his deep husky voice she snapped back to reality.

“Oh not that long actually. I grew up in Greece. I just moved here about 2 years ago. I needed a change of scenery.”

He nodded for a second then seemed to remember that she couldn’t see it, “So did you run away from some crazy ex boyfriend or something? Isn’t that what change of scenery usually means?”

At that her laughter rang out loudly, “No I’m pretty sure in order to have a crazy ex that means I would have to have had a boyfriend. But if that’s what that means, then I’ve been using it wrong for a long time.”

Yash is blown away by how much her laughter seemed to tinkle like crystal. It’s beautiful and addictive, and all he wanted is to hear it again. Now he just has to think of something to say. Fuck what can he say? Then her words registered, “Are you telling me a beautiful woman such as yourself has never had a boyfriend? I find that very hard to believe.”

~~~~~

Her eyes seemed to go wide for an instant, but it vanished quickly, “No, well not for what seems like a very long time, I guess always put my career first. Guys would have to wait until I’ve accomplished every one of my dreams. I haven’t had time for relationships.” It seemed like everything she said to him was a lie and she felt so guilty for it. She has only ever had anything but time. It was more out of fear than lack of desire. Why can’t she at least be a little honest, will that ruin everything so quickly? “I think I’m afraid of the consequences of a relationship. I’ve seen firsthand that love doesn't last. It’s all just a lie we tell ourselves to make life more bearable.” She sighed audibly, 'way to go Kagome. Tell the incredibly sexy, available man that you don’t believe in love or relationships. That's the best way to get one, right?'

His voice interrupted her self loathing thoughts, "That's actually pretty amazing. Most people nowadays like the instant gratification, they don't think things like that should wait. Unless of course you're asexual, then I can see why relationships might not hold any appeal. But true love does exist. I’ve seen it once."

What could she say to that? Her mind zeroed in on his word choice 'asexual'. Her mouth responded to that word choice first, with what felt like no control over it. “I'm not ace. But I am an ally. You should be able to love anyone in the manner you choose. You shouldn't be forced into something, no anything, you don't want." She can hear the emotion in her voice already. 2300 fucking years, and the idea still hurts her. Her bastard father raped her mother, and the great Goddess Athena punished her mother for it. Those stupid fucking deities playing with the lives of mortals.

She refocused and saw the water in her glass swirling around if it's own accord and she took a deep breath and stopped it. She can't let her emotions get the best of her. It's not safe, it will likely never be safe for a being such as her.

She looked up and he was staring at her water glass, 'fuck he totally saw that!'