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Balance Beam

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On mornings like this, when the sun was filtering in through the windows and bathing the bed in light, Castiel would normally roll over and curl up to Sam, pressing his face against the crook of his neck in an effort to block out the light.

But.. Sam wasn’t here. And here wasn’t home. He’d told Sam that if he didn’t think he could trust the former angel then he should tell him to leave.

Castiel had just never expected he’d do it.

But he had and here he was. Lying in a big bed all alone and in a house that wasn’t home.

There was no warm body beside him to curl up to and block out the sunlight. There was no pitter patter of little feet as Alex ran past the bedroom, calling for his daddy and his papa to come watch cartoons with him and Uncle Dean. There was no soft, breathy laughter as Sam tried to get him to wake up and Castiel just burrowed further into the bed.

There was no sound save for the singing of the birds outside. And they were no comfort to him. They were no replacement, no balm for the pain in his heart.

So Castiel continued to lie there in bed, his back to the window as he tried not to cry and hoped that someday Sam would be able to forgive him and he could come home.

Chapter Text

When Alex turned seven, Castiel convinced Sam to take a day off and they would go somewhere fun.

Neither their son nor Castiel had ever been to carnival before, so he was excited when the hunter agreed to take them to the one that had just recently rolled into town. They wandered around the carnival, Sam watching bemusedly as Castiel and Alex both gawked at every ride and every booth. It was just a carnival after all, nothing special about it.

So the day went by with the small family stopping at every booth and riding every ride that Sam said was okay to ride. And at the end of the day, when Alex was so worn out that he was dragging his feet, Castiel pulled his husband aside and kissed him hard, promising a better thank you when they got home.

The former angel didn’t disappoint on his promise and afterwards, as they lie there in bed, coming down from it all, they drifted off to whispered I love you’s and soft kisses littered among promises of forever.