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Kiss me if you hate me

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Well Otabek really fucked up this time, didn’t he. Sure he messes with Yuri constantly. They call each other different names, sometimes things get physical like slightly shoving or hair pullings (well maybe it was more of Otabek’s thing to do than Yuri’s but that’s not the point ok) but he didn’t want to make the boy cry for fuck’s sake.


All wanted was to Yuri at least to look at him. And the only efficient way that he found so far was riling him. Otabek didn’t care that all he got was angry remakes and slight punches here and there. He was just desperate for Yuri’s attention. He didn’t care if Yuri was angry, happy, annoyed. All that mattered was oceans of green swallowing him whole.


However there was one look he would never want to see on Yuri’s face. How much he hated those tears, clouding the shine of emeralds.


Hurt was the the only emotional Otabek would rather die than see on Yuri, let alone be the cause of. It didn’t matter how much Otabek lied to himself, saying that he didn’t care. He cared and he cared a lot.

Like when he tugged on Yuri’s hair he and made sure that no golden lock was actually pulled out. Or when he shoved Yuri too hard that he would’ve fell, and caught him on the last second, so that there wouldn’t be any ugly blue or red marks on the unblemished white skin.


But what could Otabek do at that moment? Yuri for sure was going break his wrists. He didn’t pull them straight while hitting. One unfortunate punch and he would’ve break one if them. Otabek had no other choice but to hold him there until he calmed down. But he didn’t expect to Yuri to be so panicked. At least he managed to relax the boy in the end. Still hearing Yuri silently sob twisted Otabek’s stomach in a very unpleasant way.


Otabek thoughts drifted from their fight to the first time he saw the boy, who stole his peace and quiet.

Actually when he reflects on the memory he finds this odd feeling of familiarity. As if he had seen Yuri long time ago. The more he thinks about it the more he is convinced that his first encounter with Yuri was not three months ago.

All though before going to USA he only lived in Almaty, there was one time Otabek remembers coming to Russia with his family when he was seven. But they where staying in Moscow and Yuri as much as he knows only lived in Saint Petersburg.



Suddenly his phone started to vibrate and ring, pulling him away from his thoughts.


“Hey Beks. Where are your? Isn’t your school already finished?”


“Hi Leo. Yeah it is. Just someone from my class was asking about homework. We got carried away that’s all.”


“Someone from your class or some blonde with green eyes?”


His eyes aren’t completely green. They have shade of blue in them. Otabek wanted to protest but thought that it  wasn’t wise of him.


“Shut up. Why did you called anyway?”


“Don’t tell me you forgot. Oh man. Are you that in love that the only thing on or mind is Yuri Plisetsky?”


“Didn’t I say shut up! And no, I didn’t forget about today’s plans. I’m gonna bring the drinks.”


“Thank God you still can remember things.”


“Leo quit teasing. Don’t let me start on your obsessive crush on Ji Guang Hong.”


“First, it is not obsessive. Second, at least my crush doesn’t despise me.”


“Yeah, he doesn’t have any idea that you exist.”


“You know that kinda hurt, you jerk. Guess non of us has any luck with their love life.”


“Yeah, guess you’re right. Well, anyway I’m on my way.”


“Yeah. See ya.”


Leo was right. Non of them had any decant results with their love life. Well if in Leo’s case there was no progress at all, Otabek’s situation with Yuri was rapidly evolving, only backwards.





Otabek started his bike and soon was racing down the streets. Maybe the speed was little too fast, but he didn’t care. Otabek’s mind was occupied by emerald eyes. Leo was right about this too, damn it


Snow-white skin, oceans of green eyes and sunshine gold locks. One after the another, like mantra repeatedly were swirling inside Otabek’s mind. And he called Leo’s crush obsessive.






After a few minutes Otabek spotted a small market in which he would definitely finds some booze.

Usually if it wasn’t some special occasion beer would be fine. So that’s what Otabek bought. He secured the cans of beer behind him and continued driving.





When Otabek entered his apartment his friends were already there waiting for him.


“What took you so long to come” asked the Canadian.


“Nothing. Just someone asked about homework and I was explaining.”


“He his lying. He was after Yuri as usual” meddled in his American friend.


“Aww Beks. Still pining after that Russian boy” teased JJ.


“If you continue this I’ll not give you the drinks.”


“Oh you’re just jealous that I already found myself a boo.”



If Leo’s teasings are at least bearable, JJ takes it to another level. See unlike his friends JJ’s love life isn’t as miserable as theirs. JJ has a beautiful girlfriend Isabella. They have been together since high school.

While Otabek is really happy for his friend he would really appreciate if he wouldn’t shove that fact to his face every opportunity he found.



“You know sometimes I question my decision. Particularly the one where I decided to become your friend.”


“Are you questioning whether it was your best decision so far?”


“You’re impossible!”


“Ok guys. Let’s grab the drinks and relax. It was though week after all, the start of the new semester.”








After a three empty cans Otabek’s head was spinning. He felt as if he was too heavy to stand up. Leo and JJ weren’t doing any better.

It wasn’t that they were too drunk. After all they had assignments and homework to do. But it is good to spend time like this sometimes wheney they felt that they were too much under pressure.











“So you’re sayin that you’re like really good at love stuff”


“Mmm Yeah. I am.”


“So can you help me like make someone from hating me to love?”


“Or can you say how to make someone notice you” tagged in Leo.


“Hmmm. It is a little difficult cause you both have crush on boys and boys and girls are different?”


“I guessss”


“Well for you Beks maybe something like.....We all like gifts.”


“Yeah. So?”


“So give him a gift. Let your actions speak louder than your words.”


“Like out of blue. Just hive him a gift?”


“That would be awkward and......You should know when his birthday is.”


“Twenty fifth of March.”


“You got it bad for him didn’t ya, Beks“ smirked JJ.


“So I should make gift for his birthday,....(long pause)....Jay you’re a genius. Why do all the good ideas come when we are drunk?”


“Oh I know that I’m genius.”


“What about me Jay. What should I do with Guang Hong?”


“Don’t you two have some engineering classes together? Just pretend that you didn’t understand something and ask him to help.”


“Omg Beks is right. The smartest ideas do came when we are drunk.”






“I miss Bella.”


“Jaaay” called Leo.


“I wanna call her!”


“It’s 1 am there!”


“You guys with your love question made me miss her!”.......






While Leo was trying to get JJ’s phone so he won’t wake up the poor girl Otabek was thinking about the advise.


Yeah he could give Yuri a gift. And not only that. He could give an expensive gift, he could give any gift.



So what did Yuri liked again. Ah of course tigers (and lions and pumas and jugulars and the list could go on and on) and ballet.

Otabek didn’t know much about ballet but tigers he could do something about it.

Giving a tiger cub wasn’t something impossible for a person like Otabek but it would be too much to take care of.

Hmmm. What about plushie tigers? Sure they didn’t demand too much attention. But usually people gave teddy bears as plushie gifts.


Though Yuri wasn’t like usual. He was like a meteorite. Out of this world. Every day there was something new about him, something uncovered and you wanted to know more about him. And like meteorite Yuri hit Otabek and shook his world.



And back to the gift. Would it be too hard to find a tiger plushie? But a simple plushie wouldn’t be enough. No, Otabek needed a really big one. The bigger, the better, like those large teddy bears. Yeah Otabek was going to give the largest plushie tiger to Yuri.