It wasn't the nicotine Connor was addicted to, not really. It was the feeling of the cigarette between his fingers; the understanding that you were slowly destroying yourself. Plus, he looked hot when he smoked.
But after Evan and him hung out a bit, he realized the dreaded habit would have to go.
Evan didn't like the smell, and he always had a coughing fit after inhaling too much of Connor's secondhand smoke. Connor knew secondhand smoke killed, and he really cared about Evan.
So late one night filled with no sleep, he decided he had to quit.
It was touch and go for a while. He tried to quit cold turkey, nicotine patches, even this special nicotine laced gum. But he always relapsed back to cigarettes.
Until he realized it wasn't the nicotine he was addicted to, but rather the feeling of a stick between his fingers.
He expressed this one night to Evan who replied, "Then why don't you get something similar to a cigarette without the smoke?"
Which is why Connor had at least ten boxes of candy cigarettes in his nightstand drawer.
Evan had come over to study. He was leaning against Connor's bed's headboard with books on his left and papers on his outstretched legs.
Connor lay on his right, thinking about everything and nothing at all. His fingers started to itch, and he could almost feel the stick between his fingers when he decided to pull out one of his packs.
He reached over Evan to get to the drawer. When Evan saw the contents he pursed his lips, but didn't say anything.
"What?" Connor asked defensively, a frown etching onto his face.
"I thought you quit," Evan mumbled as he circled an answer on his homework.
"I did. These are candy," Connor grumbled, offended Evan would think he wouldn't stop.
He lifted the pack and pulled out a stick of sugar before placing it between his lips. He sucked at it, pretending it was a real cigarette.
It wasn't the same.
But that was okay, because the dazzling smile Evan sent his way was worth it.
Connor smiled and pulled the candy away to lean up and kiss Evan's cheek messily.
Evan whined about it, but Connor could see he was trying not to smile.
All Connor could think while staring at the sandy haired, blue eyed, tree boy was Fuck, I'm in love.