My father went to prison when I was nine years old. He and my mother divorced when he was inside. I don’t remember much of that time. I only remember my mother telling me that my father was going away and I wouldn’t see him for a while. He sent me letters from prison and I wrote back, but that only lasted a couple of years. Shortly after my eleventh birthday, I didn’t receive anything from my father. I never knew why. I didn’t see him for quite a few years.
He was released from prison after four years. I was thirteen at the time. His sister Jenny had sent a letter to my mother to let her know. My mother told me when my father was released, but he didn’t make any effort to contact me. Not by phone, or mail, or a visit.
It wasn’t until I turned eighteen that my father got in touch with me. He sent me a letter. I had not seen him in nine years. I had not heard from him in seven. So much had happened. I wasn’t a child any more. I was a man. A young man of eighteen of course, but I was still a man. We exchanged letters, but I didn’t see him again until ten years ago, when I was twenty. It was an awkward reunion and I referred to him as Jamie, not da as I called him when I was younger. He wasn’t a dad to me. Not any more. He was just this man who I used to know.
Over the last ten years, we have become very good friends. In fact, I would say Jamie Fraser is one of my best friends. We take week about to call one an other. I go to Scotland to visit him a couple of times a year, and he comes to visit me here in London.
To people who know he is my father, they think our relationship is weird, but it suits us just fine. He’s just Jamie, and I’m just Fergus. Best friends.
I don’t know why he was in prison, neither my mother nor Jamie ever told me. By the time I was old enough to understand more and find out for myself, I wasn’t interested. I didn’t need to know. He wasn’t a huge part of our lives any more. My mother and I were doing fine with out him.
In the beginning though, I remember my mother crying all the time. She was really upset that our family was torn apart. It took her quite some time to begin to move on. She’s never been with another man since Jamie though. I have tried to encourage her to get out there and meet some nice gentleman who will treat her properly and make her happy. Lord knows she deserves to be happy.
My mother and Jamie actually adopted me from France when I was six years old. I don’t remember my biological parents, they died in a house fire when I was three years old. I spent much of my time in a children’s home before meeting Claire and Jamie Fraser. I couldn’t believe it when they told me they wanted to adopt me and bring me home to live with them in Scotland. I’d never been to Scotland before so I was really excited about the new adventure and having somewhere to belong.
I never was lucky enough to have any siblings. Living siblings any way. My mother fell pregnant before Jamie went to prison, but a few months after he was sent down, she suffered a miscarriage. The worst part was she had to give birth to my little sister, knowing that she was dead. She had to do it alone as well. Jamie couldn’t be with her and I was only a child, I couldn’t help her either. I think that was a reason why she found it difficult to move on properly.
She doesn’t speak about Jamie much, and I don’t bring him up unless she asks of him. It isn’t often though. I can tell she still loves him though. Sometimes I want to ask why they divorced? Why didn’t she just wait on him to get out of prison? I couldn’t though. The last thing I would ever want to do is make her upset.
A year after Jamie went to prison, my mother moved us down to London. My mother is originally from England, but she grew up all over the world with her parents. My grandparents were musicians and toured all over the world. My mother’s uncle tried to talk them in to leaving my mum at boarding school, but they simply said that they didn’t have a child to abandon her for the majority of the year. Mum loved travelling the world with her parents. She learned a lot about different countries and their history and culture. I always found it interesting when she would tell me stories when we were abroad on holiday.
Even though she’s a single mother, she has done a wonderful job in raising me. I am really lucky to have Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp as my mother.
Today is my last day in London. Well, apart from when I come home to visit Mum. Later today I am flying up to Glasgow. Jamie recently took over a local newspaper business and offered me a job as a journalist. I wasn’t too keen in the beginning, especially leaving Mum here in London on her own, but she persuaded me to go for it.
I studied Journalism here in London for four years and ended up interning at the same place I was working at until about six months ago. The job was alright. The people were...friendly enough, but no matter how hard I worked or how well I performed, my boss didn’t see me more as an errand boy. It wasn’t worth it in the end. After almost six years working for next to nothing, I told my boss to shove his job up his arse.
“How are you getting on sweetheart? You almost ready to go?” My mother asks me as she stands in the door way watching me pack up the last things in my carry on bag.
“All done.” I walk over to her and wrap my arms around her and kiss her forehead. “I called a cab, it should be here soon—“
“I can’t say goodbye to you at the airport Mum. I would never get on the plane.”
Mum takes a deep breath and tries to fight back the tears, but they begin to fall anyway. “I am so very proud of you sweetheart.” She tells me as she grabs my head between her hands.
“For what? My friend offering me a job out of pity?” I joke trying to lighten the mood.
“Jamie wouldn’t have offered you the job if he didn’t think you were right for the position.”
I nod my head as I fumble about looking for a handkerchief to wipe the tears from my Mum’s face.
“You better call me as soon as you arrive.”
“I will Mum, I promise. I also promise to call you at least once a day, eat properly and drink plenty water during the day and get enough exercise and sunlight. Well, as much sunlight as you can get in Scotland.” We both chuckle.
“I love you so much my darling.” My mother says before she reaches up on her tip toes to kiss my cheek.
“I love you too Mum.”
My phone pings and it’s to let me know that the cab has arrives and is waiting outside. My Mother walks me out to the cab and gives me another kiss on the cheek and a hug before I jump in to the cab. I roll the window down to say goodbye.
“Jamie better take care of you.”
“I’m thirty years old Mum, I can look after myself.”
She rolls her eyes at me and then before I know it, the cab driver is driving me away. I turn my body round to look back at my Mum through the rear window. I can see her crying again.