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Gaming 0, Insecurities 1

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“Excuse me, Sir. Do you need anything? Perhaps a drink”


“I’m fine, Davis.”


Kai sat on his bed, controller in hand and monitor lighting up with multiple images of different settings. The quiet room’s atmosphere was shattered thanks to Davis entering, but Kai appreciated the human presence, he always did.


Nodding, Davis excused himself and left the room to give Kai space, which was the last thing he needed at the moment. The room’s silence inched closer with nothing but the sounds of fake gunshots to drown it out. It was pretty pathetic, if Kai had to admit. Sitting on his bed playing video games was the last thing he wanted to do on a Saturday, but that’s all he really knew..gaming and isolation. Looking out at the window to spot the remodeled Kai statue that was previously broken by a giant chicken, Kai glared at it slightly with a hint of contempt. He wouldn’t have been so lonely if someone wasn’t so filthy rich.


Groaning to himself, he flung the controller out of his hands and watched as it fell to the ground with an unsettling thud. He needed to get out of his head, it wasn’t helping him. Of course he was always alone, Kai was used to that after all. Little to no friends, not knowing the full love of a parent- Kai was exposed to all of that and almost grew numb to it all. Hell, even his real friends thought of his presence as nothing more than an annoyance, a coincidence. Or at least, that’s what it appeared to Adam at least..


Adam, a guy who usually plagued Kai’s mind for quite a while. He was just..so cool! Always kicking butt, always knowing what to do. He was the opposite of Kai. Where Adam knew what he wanted and how to get it, Kai was left as a bumbling idiot who only knew how to follow the crowd. Where Adam was strong both mentally and physically, Kai had his less than ideal moments regarding strength and common sense. It sucked that the perfect version, the idealized version of Kai, was standing right within his grasp, and he couldn’t reach it.


His phone buzzed in his pocket which snapped him out of his thoughts. He wondered who could be contacting him? Perhaps Miles demanded he get on to play? His parents never contacted him unless it was important, he wasn’t especially close with Mira..so who was it? Picking his phone out of his pocket, he looked at who had just texted him.


“Speak of the devil..”


[Karate Kid]:


Hey Kai, remember that match we played last week? I want a rematch, you totally cheated.


Kai chuckled to himself quietly, smiling fondly. He was usually the one to reach out to Adam for any potential hanging out, but this time around it was Adam. Funny how fate worked out, having the person you were just thinking about text you wanting to play games? It was nice. Rolling his eyes, Kai let out a small scoff even though he knew Adam wouldn’t be able to hear it.


[Me]:


nah man u just suck lolol but yeah come on ovr no ones here rn like always lmao


There was a bit of resentment hidden in his text that Kai chose to ignore. Didn’t happen if he didn’t acknowledge it, right? He got confirmation from Adam that he was on his way and sat up. He needed to get the console ready for a rematch. His mood increased slightly, but he still felt rather uneasy. Why was he stressing so much over some irrelevant feelings? His insecurities didn’t need to be thought about, and it certainly didn’t need to rear its ugly head when he would be spending time with Adam like it usually did.


Getting off his bed with a sigh, he began to clean up his room slightly and set up the console and games. As he shuffled around his giant room, Kai accidentally tripped over a stack of books he forgot to put away. He let out a small yelp as his body crashed towards the floor as he flailed around for stability. Falling to the floor, he let out a small groan and turned over to see what had just tripped him. Scattered on the floor were multiple books about identity, sexuality, and what it meant for people. He had completely forgotten he bought some of those books after they finally had peace when the disaster of the Hollow had ended. They reminded him of Adam..how he was actually gay and confident in it.


Panic filled his throat, rising until he felt like he was gonna choke on his idiocy. He had to get rid of them, he couldn’t let Adam see the books. Something just wouldn’t let Kai be ok with the books being out in public..especially not when Adam was the sole reason he bought them. That dumb karate boy went and made him confused! It was a result of the coming out, not that Kai wasn’t straight or anything, he liked women! Not Adam! Kai was just confused, that’s all.


Taking action, Kai frantically got up and grabbed the books, stuffing them into his closet. He knew the irony of it, but was too scared to laugh it off. Closing the closet, Kai pressed his back to it, feeling like his legs were gonna cave out from underneath him. Why was he so nervous?! Adam could arrive at any moment and he couldn’t afford to rise suspicion on his dumb mental state at the moment.

 


Almost as if the universe heard his every thought, he heard a knock at the door. Trying to calm his newly started hyperventilating, Kai regained his composure and slid over to the door, opening it up with a bit too big of a smile.


“Heyyy buddy! What’s up? Ready to get your butt kicked again?” Kai poked a finger into Adam’s chest, challenging him like he used to. This was normal, this was their average so there was nothing to be worried about..right?


“Yeah sure, let’s see about that when you’re on a losing streak.” Adam leaned towards Kai, showing his own pride with his arms crossed and a small smirk on his face.


After a few beats of silence, the both of them bursted out into laughter, hunched over as their giggles filled the atmosphere, livening it up as if it’s previously depressive mood had never existed.


With a wave of a hand signifying Adam to follow, Kai shut the door behind him and flopped on his bed, leaving a bit of space for Adam to sit right beside him. Adam noticed the cue and grabbed both controllers, walking over to the bed and sitting down. Their shoulders knocked together slightly and it made Kai’s breath hitch a bit. They always were physically affectionate! Why did Kai react that way? Why did his stomach drop as soon as Adam made contact? His distress was blatant on his face which garnered a confused look on Adam’s face. Kai tried laughing to shake it off, mustering all of the will in him to give a reassuring smile. It seemed like Adam bought it, even though he looked a bit hesitant. Loading up the game they played before, the theme song of Smash Ultimate played, filling the boys with excitement as they cheered alongside it.


“I’m definitely going with-!” “Male Robin?” Adam interrupted, raising an eyebrow as he turned to Kai, a coy smile on his face.


“Forgot about how predictable I am.” Kai chuckled, it had a slight undertone of self deprecation, but Adam hadn’t picked it up judging from his focus on picking his own main, Chrom.


After selecting their characters and stage, they played for a few rounds with Kai ending up victorious for all of them. It wasn’t a surprise for both of them, but Adam rolled his eyes at Kai’s incessant cheering and bragging. It was getting a bit old quick.


“Hah! Finally, I’m better than you at something!” Kai yelled, walking around the room and doing a dumb little victory dance in the process. That earned another eye roll and a small grunt from Adam who had the controller in his lap and his chin in the palm of his hand. Even though he looked a bit frustrated, there was a weird sense of an indescribable emotion lingering in his eyes as he watched Kai dance and laugh.


“That’s because you’ve spent your life inside playing games, you were bound to get good at it.” That one sentence made Kai stop stiff in his tracks, back turned to Adam before he tensed up slightly. What he said was true, he was basically wasting away his life with these games, so it made sense why he was so good at them.


“Y..Yeah, ‘cause who would wanna be around someone like me?”


‘Wh- Kai? I never said anything like that-”


“But you implied it! Why else would I be stuck in this house with parents who don’t care, with people who only see me for my wealth or people who think I’m annoying!” 



As soon as the words spilled out, Kai smacked both of his hands to his mouth, his controller dropping to the ground with a loud clunk like before. Shit! He didn’t need a repeat of what happened before when Adam had called his actions annoying, he didn’t need a repeat of all the fighting and bickering he did. That would’ve made him just like his parents- he couldn’t! He didn’t wanna be like them with the constant arguing and insecurities that threatened the foundation of their relationship. Kai turned slightly to look at Adam, hands trembling slightly against his mouth.


“..Kai..? Hey wait- I don’t think you’re annoying at all.” Adam obviously knew what that last statement meant, and it hurt. He only had said that in a moment of weakness and distress. He wanted to find Mira desperately and the actions Kai were doing at the moment in that scenario were..less than ideal. He had regretted it the second it came out of his mouth, because he knew Kai had some insecurities and he still went on and said such harsh words..Adam was to blame for this.



Kai’s hands slowly unraveled themselves from his mouth, still keeping his distance- he turned his back towards the closet as he looked at Adam, guilt eating him from the inside out. He didn’t want this to go this way! But since they were on the topic..Kai let out an exhale to try and calm himself down.



“If you don’t think I’m annoying, why did you call me that back in the old castle? Or basically ignore my presence whenever Reeve was around. Why do I just feel like a replacement for him..I was only picked for my availability after all.” Kai spat, that last sentence oozing slightly of bitterness and venom. “You didn’t believe in me back in the train or in the ship, your pride wouldn’t let you trust in someone you thought was lousy.”


Adam stood up, his controller being tossed to the side of the bed as he attempted to get closer to Kai which resulted in the pyromaniac stepping back a few steps. A twinge of guilt hit Adam hard, but he made his bed so he had to lie in it.


“Kai, seriously. I’m sorry for constantly brushing you off and insinuating you were annoying. I was under a lot of stress because I thought I would never find Mira again..she’s my other best friend after all.”


“Other..? Who’s your other other one?” Kai tried preparing himself for anyone to be brought up besides him..he couldn’t have been Adam’s best friend, his conscience wouldn’t allow it.


“You! Who else has stuck by my side like you? Who else has been so optimistic and made a speech about not giving up on people like you did back in The Hollow. Who else has been my partner in crime..” 



As Adam spoke, he continued to walk closer and closer to Kai who kept walking back until the back of his body made abrupt contact with the closet and accidentally fell through- the doors widening and opening whilst Kai found himself trapped under a pile of clothes, boxes, and other assortments that could be found in a closet. A bit dazed from falling, he hadn’t heard Adam’s footsteps approach and pick up something.


“Ugh..that hurt..wait- Adam don’t!-”


But Kai’s words were in vain, Adam had already picked up the sexuality and identity books, one in each hand, and his expression was one of surprise and shock. He examined the covers before flipping through the contents and scanning with his eyes. His gaze flickered from the book’s pages down to where Kai laid pitifully.



“..Kai?” Adam piped up, brows furrowed as Kai turned his head away in shame. Did Adam hate him now? Did he think he was a poser looking for attention? Or maybe he thought Kai was pretending and that he was invalidating Adam instead. Squeezing his eyes shut as his breath picked up speed, Kai couldn’t silence the screams in his head. How this annoying kid who was horrible with social cues was about to lose one of his only friends.


“..ai..Kai..KAI!” Adam yelled, Kai’s eyes snapping open as a result. When had he gotten close enough to put his hands on Kai’s shoulders? When did he crouch to the floor? Unable to register all this, he just watched Adam’s mouth move. Shoot! He was supposed to be listening, right?


“..’re an amazing person! You add so much to our team and I’m sorry I made you feel this way. You’re so smart and reliable- you’re hilarious too and you help us figure stuff out when things get hard. You’re empathetic and understanding, which is very much needed between the two of us. I have a hard head and sometimes I say stuff impulsively..so, I’m sorry.”


Ah, he was apologizing..at least Adam knew he messed up and was clearly remorseful. Kai felt a warm hand squeeze his shoulder as his eyes trailed from the hand to stare up into Adam’s dark as night eyes. The eye contact was suffocating in a good way, it felt like electricity began to spark slightly. Adam had such a fond smile on his face..it was incredibly alluring. And they were so close too, if Kai moved a few more inches..


Kai stopped himself though, he didn’t want to pull any dumb stunts and risk losing Adam. That didn’t mean he didn’t lean in slightly subconsciously. Those few inches turned to mere centimeters before Kai snapped out of his foggy state.



“A-Ah! T-There it is! Thank god I found it!” Kai pretended to swerve Adam, scrambling to his feet to grab the books that laid idle on the floor. He cradled the books to his chest like they were his own treasure. He couldn’t bear with the fact Adam had seen the sexuality questioning books, but maybe he would ignore it and not bring it up?


“So..you have books about questioning your sexuality, huh.” Just his luck..Adam wasn’t one to hold back conversations huh.


“Y-Yeah! What about it, I’m not pretending or anything.” Kai sneered, still in a sort of defensive state in which he was absolutely terrified of being questioned.


“Kai, you forget I was in the same boat you were in. Here, let’s sit on the bed and talk about it.” Adam offered a hand after standing back up, the hand was a warm welcome, a safe gesture to signify no judgement. Reaching out before hesitating, Kai finally sighed, Adam had won this game of will. Taking his hand, he was dragged over to the bed and softly pushed to sit on it. Adam sat in front of Kai, their knees knocking together slightly.


Swallowing to try and get rid of his dry throat, Kai stared at Adam, ready to get lectured about the logistics of sexuality or whatnot.


“So..why do you think you’re not straight?”


That question almost made Kai physically fall off the bed. He hadn’t expected that! Stammering from a lack of words, Kai couldn’t just be out in the open, being vulnerable sucked.


“I am! I just..got a bit confused. I suddenly felt weird around guys..” Kai lied, not wanting to tell the real truth.


“But you’ve flirted with Mira and Vanessa, you have some interest in girls.”


“Yeah and? I just..maybe I’m faking it? Pretending so I could be different or special..”



“Bullshit. You never fake anything, you’re one of the realest people I know.” Kai’s eyes widened from the compliment. He scratched the back of his neck with a sigh. He couldn’t hold anything back anymore.


“..there might be a guy I like? But I don’t know if it’s admiration or genuine crushing.”


“A guy you like? Tell me about him.”


“A-Ah..uhm..he’s really cool. He’s protective but really strong and caring. His priorities are helping his friends and he’d do anything to accomplish that. A-And he’s extremely stubborn too..he can’t take anything else besides his plan cause he has such a big head about being in the leader..” Realizing his slip up, Kai’s hands waved around in the air frantically as his cheeks started to redden from embarrassment.


“Hm..sounds pretty gay to me, but since you told me your crush, it’s only natural I tell you mine.” Adam shrugged, ignoring the fish out of water jaw drop from Kai.


“You have a crush too?!” Kai exclaimed, shocked.


“Yeah, he’s pretty cool as well. He’s an incredibly warm person who cares for people- even willing to risk his life in the process. He is inspirational and a hard worker- I mean, you should SEE him when he’s in his element! He’s super technical and knows when it’s his turn to shine. I cherish him like no other. His skills with machines is another topic on it’s own. Even when betrayed, he forgives people and works to be a team..he’s really incredible..”



As Adam talked, he scooted closer to Kai with each word. Sitting up on his knees, his face leaned over to Kai’s, watching the pyromaniac’s face burst into the red that’s brighter than his flames. A small smirk grew on Adam’s face as he decided to take charge, sliding a finger under Kai’s chin and tilting it upwards, he began to speak again.



“Can you figure out who it is?”



The sudden dryness in Kai’s throat came back full swing as he blinked up at Adam. He knew for a fact that Adam had to be talking about him- no one else he knew matched that description. Feeling speechless, Kai tried to speak but no words came out. He felt nervous and flustered, the touch of Adam made his skin feel burning hot.


“..can I?” Adam asked, his voice down to a hushed whisper. Kai just weakly nodded, preparing himself for what was about to come.


He felt a soft pair of lips graze his own, light as a feather and a bit hesitant. He felt two pairs of hands rest on his shoulders as well before he decided to take a bit of charge as well. Kai closed his eyes and kissed back, earning a small noise of surprise from Adam. Kissing Adam felt like nothing he had experienced before,,it felt like everything he dreamed of but better. Melting into the kiss, they worked with each other, the kiss lingering on for a few more seconds before they separated, their foreheads pressed against each other.


“I’m sorry for being such an ass, I hope you can forgive me.” Adam apologized once again, a hand moving from Kai’s shoulder to cradle his cheek, stroking the soft and red skin.


“..You’re ok, can we just stay like this..? For a little?”


“Of course.”


They stayed pressed against each other, basking in the warmth the other provided. It seemed like Kai wasn’t as lonely as he first thought he was, and the world felt a little more brighter as a result.