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LOST MEMORIES

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In the previous year, Gulf remembered how he celebrated Mew's birthday by going to Mew's house at midnight. He was working at that time and unfortunately his boss asked him to take an overtime to finish their research about a specific football team. Gulf successfully finished the report late at night and he still needed to pick up the cake that he ordered as well as a personalized birthday balloon. And on top of that, Mew house was a bit far. It took almost an hour for him to reach Mew's house from his working place.

It's funny how Mew didn't send Gulf a message that day when he always greeted the younger with a good morning message. He really waited for Gulf to send him a message first and greet him a happy birthday. On the other hand, Gulf was acting like he forgot what day was it and he never sent a message to the older.

Mew checked his social media accounts from time to time to see if the younger posted a picture of him or their picture together with a birthday message, but no, Gulf didn't do anything not until it was almost midnight. Mew was in his room sulking at his boyfriend because his birthday was almost over, but Gulf didn't post a birthday message for him on social media, or even sent him a message, or call.

His mother knocked on his room and asked him to come down. When he went down, he saw Gulf in front of their door step holding a cake with a balloon beside him. He was so shocked to see his boyfriend at their house late at night. He checked the time as he opened the door and it read 11:59. He immediately looked at his boyfriend who was just staring at him with a lovely smile.

Gulf shrugged his shoulders as he proudly said. "I made it on time, right? I'm so sorry Boo, my boss asked me to take an overtime that's why I came here late."

"It's okay, Bii." He walked closer to his boyfriend and placed his hand on the younger's back and caressed it. "Are you not tired? It's fine to just send me a message or call.  It's already late at night to come here."

"It's okay, I want to come here and surprise you. Are you shooing me away, Boo?"

Mew chuckled and gave his boyfriend a side hug. "No no no, I'm not shooing you away."

"Aw! Come on..." Gulf gently tapped Mew's back. "Blow the candle na, but you should make a wish first."

"Okay." Mew pulled away from the hug. He put his palms together, closed his eyes, and wished before he blew his candle.

"Happy Birthday P'Mew!" Gulf happily greeted him after he blew the candle.

"Thank you, Bii."

And that's how Gulf stayed the night at Mew's house since the older didn't want him to go back home late at night. They spent the rest of the night, cuddling together, talking about random things, and of course Mew showering his boyfriend with soft little kisses. Mew didn't have to bother himself to call Gulf's mother and asked permision because Mew's mom already called Gulf's mom to let her know that his son was at their house. A week after Mew's birthday, both of their parents had a talk and decided to give them a green light to have their own apartment since both of them were already engaged.

 

 

 

Looking back on that night, Gulf was smiling by himself as he fed the cows. It was Mew's birthday and he went to the temple to make merit for him. In thai tradition, people usually do merits at the temple by offering foods to the monks on their birthdays. He was supposed to visit the temple alone and do the merit for Mew all alone, but Mew's family thought about the same thing, so they went to the temple together.

"Are you done feeding the cows, Gulf?" Mew's mother asked him.

"Oh, yes I'm done mom."

She smiled. "I know what you were thinking. You suddenly remember about Mew's birthday merit last year, right? I can see it on your face. When I looked at you, you were smiling."

Gulf shyly smiled after Mew's mom found out about it. It was like Mew's mother was reading his mind. "Yes, a little bit."

She then caressed Gulf's back. "Gulf, thank you for always thinking of Mew and thank you also for doing this."

"It's the least thing I can do for him."

Mew's mom shook her head right away. "No son, you've done a lot of things for him. And I'll never get tired saying thank you for that."

"You're welcome mom." He smiled.

 

 

Overcoming Gulf's grief over his boyfriend's death was the toughest thing that he had ever done in his life. In a span of almost a year, 11 months to be exact, Gulf did his best to cope up the pain of losing someone. But he wasn't alone on this battle. His family, the Jongcheveevat family, and his friends were there to support him. Just like what Mew's mom said, he didn't need to forget Mew just to overcome the pain. Things would just be different and that's what Gulf felt. He totally felt the difference when Mew was still alive in many circumstances. Just like doing the birthday merit. Last time, Mew did his birthday merit with Gulf, but this time it was Gulf doing the merit for his late boyfriend.

The last time Gulf visited his apartment with Mew, it was full of sadness and almost ended with another tragedy. But this time, it was totally different. His friends Boat, Mild, and Run wanted to celebrate Mew's birthday at their apartment if it was okay for him. Gulf agreed after asking permission to his and Mew's mother. The apartment became like a preserved property for Mew, so celebrating Mew's birthday there won't be a problem. Mild and Run bought foods while Boat bought the drinks, and of course, Gulf bought a chocolate cake which was Mew's favorite.

They settled the foods on the table as well as the cake and drinks. Gulf lit the candle and they all sang a happy birthday song for their late friend. After they finished singing the birthday song, it was about time to blow the candle. Mild, Boat, and Run stared at Gulf as they waited for him to blow the candle, but Gulf looked at them instead.

"What?" Run asked Gulf when they were just staring at each other.

"Why are you staring at us?" Boat added.

"Aw! I'll be the one who's going to blow?" Gulf asked them.

"Why? Do you want Mew to blow the candle for you?" Mild sarcastically said in which he earned a nudge from Boat and Run.

But Gulf just snorted at them. "How about let's all blow it for him?"

And they all agreed with a smile on their faces. They sang the last line of a happy birthday song once again before they blew the candle together. They started eating the foods that Mild and Run bought. While eating, they talked about a lot of things. A lot of unforgettable memories with Mew that they happily recalled. They also played some games while having the their dessert. Gulf smiled staring at Boat and Run who's bullying Mild because he lost the game. He's truly thankful for having them. They never left him when he needed them. They were always there for him to make him smile despite of what happened and cheer him to cope up everything.

 

It has been 11 months since New arrived in Surat Thani. Within those months, he experienced a lot of adjustments and confusion. He was living his new life without knowing his history. The people, the place, the surrounding, they were completely new. Another thing was that, he usually experienced some flashes of his memories in the past and dreamed about a man in his sleep, but he couldn't figure them out as the memories were unclear as well as the mysterious man in his dream.

Kaownah was a senior at a university and was having his internship already. Because of this, New was always left alone in the house while Kaownah's parents were busy running the resort. But if Kaownah has free time, he would always take New around the province, bringing New to some beautiful spots.

For New not to get bored in the house, Kaownah's parents would bring him to the resort whenever he wanted to go. New loves the sea and he didn't know why. It's just that everytime he saw it, he got excited. This was one of the reasons why he loved staying at Kaownah's family's beach resort than staying at home. Kaownah's family house wasn't located in front of the beach, but it's just a few blocks away.

New always spent his time sitting at the shore while hiding himself from the heat of the sun under a coconut tree. He always brought his guitar with him and he would play it while watching the sea. But sometimes, he would just listen to music. Everytime New sat under the coconut tree, he always wondered what was his life before. But whatever it was, he didn't know. He's living his new life with no memories left from the past and he wanted to create new ones with the new people around him.

 

 

While New was busy strumming the strings of his guitar inside his room, he heard someone knocking on his door. He glanced at the door and it slowly swung open, Kaownah peeked inside New's room and when he saw New looking at him, he smiled and entered the room.

"You're back. How was your internship?" New asked Kaownah who immediately slumped on his bed.

"It was really tiring, but good. I can't wait to finish it."

"Hey~ even if this is your house, I still have the right to kick you out of my bed. How could you drop your sweaty body on my bed?"

Kaownah just laughed at New's statement. New's possessiveness over his bed was something odd for him and stressful as well. Everytime he visited New's room, he needed to make sure that he did shower already because New wouldn't let him lie down on his bed.

"Fine, I'll ask the helper tomorrow to change your sheets." Kaownah said with a small chuckle. "I wonder if you are really like this before you lost your memories."

Talking about his lost memories, New suddenly halted himself from strumming his guitar and stared at a corner. Kaownah sensed the older's reaction who suddenly got serious, so he got up and sat beside New.

"Why? Did you dream about something again?" Kaownah asked. When New dreamed about that mysterious man, Kaownah was the first person to know about it.

"Yeah, I did."

"It's the 2nd time already. Why did you not tell me this morning?"

New pursed his lips as he placed the guitar at the side of his bed. "You left early this morning."

"Ahh yes, I forgot. So, what was it this time? The first time you dreamt about him is that he went to your house bringing a cake, right?"

New gave him a nod.

"And then this time?"

"This time..." New furrowed his brows as he tried to remember his dream. "I dreamt that... I was at the temple with him, and... we were feeding the cows together. And it's still the same, his face was blurry."

"Oh~ You were at the temple and you were feeding the cows. Then... it seemed like you were doing a birthday merit in your dream."

"Birthday merit? But who's birthday?"

Kaownah tilted his head, trying to help New to connect his dreams. "A few days ago, you said that you dreamt about a man visiting you with a cake. And now... you dreamt about doing a birthday merit. It looks like it's your birthday, right?"

"Why are you asking me about that?" New asked him back instead. "Have you forgotten that I lost my memories and I couldn't remember my name, let alone my birthday?"

"Ah~" Kaownah gave him an awkward smile. "Yes, I know. Calm down."

"Oh! Speaking of birthday, Mom said that we're going to celebrate your birthday next month. We don't know when is your birthday, so we just base it on the day that we found you. It's next month, time flies so fast. You've been here for a year already." After saying those to New, Kaownah stood up from the bed and tapped New's shoulder. "Gotta go to bed now, good night P'New."

New let out a sigh before he nodded his head. "Hmm, good night."

 

 

Kaownah woke up early and had left already when Mew woke up. He went straight to the dinning area after taking a shower and joined Kaownah's parents for breakfast.

"Good morning New." Kaownah's father greeted him.

Even after living with them for almost a year, New remained polite towards them. "Good morning mom. Good morning dad." He greeted them with a wai. Instead of calling them with other names, they both preferred to be called as mom and dad by New.

Kaownah's mother smiled and told him to sit down. "Good morning, have a seat and eat your breakfast na."

He obliged and sat on his chair then started eating his breakfast.

"Honey, I asked Bosser last night to go to Bangkok today to get the furniture that we've ordered." Kaownah's father said.

"Bangkok is too far. Don't they deliver it at the resort?"

"That's what they said as well. Our location is too far, so they asked us if we could just pick up the furniture. They have lots of deliveries as of now, so they won't accept far locations."

"I see."

"I already asked Bosser to do it, so there's no need to worry."

New was just there, eating his breakfast while listening to the elder's conversation. And when they mentioned Bangkok, New's ears twitched. The name of the place sounded so familiar to him and he suddenly got totally interested to it as well.

"Hmm..." New cleared his throat as he tried to get the attention of Kaownah's parents. "Can I go to Bangkok with P'Bosser?"

Kaownah's parents glanced at each other after hearing New's question. They forgot that New was there listening to them.

"Ahm, New..." Kaownah's mother tried to explain Bangkok to him. "You want to go to Bangkok? It takes 8 hours going to there."

"It's okay."

"Why do you want to go there? Do you remember something about that place?" Kaownah's father turned to ask.

New shook his head at the question. "No, but the name of the place sounds familiar and I want to see what's in that place as well."

"Hmm... Bangkok is very different to Surat Thani. Here you can see beaches everywhere, but in there no. There are many people and many shops like restaurants, bars, clubs, coffee shop, cinema, shopping malls and... many more." Kaownah's father explained.

"Ahh~ I see. I want to go to Bangkok. Please give me your permission, mom, dad."

 

 

At the resort, New was waiting for Bosser outside. Bosser was having a short discussion with Kaownah's father about the furniture that they've purchased. When their meeting was finally over, they both went out and approached the pick up truck that New and Bosser were going to ride on.

"Okay New, get on the car now." Kaownah's father said in which New immediately followed as well. Then, Bosser hopped in the passenger's seat while New sat at the back seat.

"Bosser, please take care of New." He reminded before calling the attention of the driver. "Also, please drive slowly and carefully."

"New..." He diverted his attention back to New this time. "Call me if something happens, okay?"

"I will dad." He answered right away with a smile while waving his phone.

"Okay, you should leave now so that you can reach Bangkok before the sun goes down."

And with that, the car left heading to Bangkok. Kaownah's mother came out and watched the car leaving, then she patted her husband's shoulder. It was the first time that they gave New the permission to go to far places without them or even Kaownah. New usually experienced a severe headache everytime he's exposed in a situation that could trigger his amnesia, the reason why they don't let him go somewhere alone.

"Do you think he'll be fine?" She asked.

"Yeah, Bosser is with him. I'm sure he's going to take good care of New."

 

 

During the trip going to Bangkok, New was really excited and it was painted on his face that even Bosser could see it. New spent almost a year staying only in Surat Thani, but at that time he was finally heading to another city which is Bangkok.

"So, New, why do you want to go to Bangkok?" Bosser asked, breaking the very silent atmosphere inside the car.

New glanced at Bosser before he answered the question. "No reason, I was just curious about the place."

"Ohh, I see."

"Yeah. Can I ask you something? How long have you been working in that resort as a Manager?" It was New's turn to ask Bosser.

"A year and a half. I'm just a new employee, New."

New cutely shook his head. "I don't think so. A year and a half is not new."

New's statement made Bosser to let out a chuckle. "But for me, I think I'm still a newbie. There are still a lot of things that I need to learn."

"I wish I could work. Just like you." New suddenly blurted out, expressing his desire to work just like Bosser.

"Everybody can work, New."

"I know, but Kaownah's parents won't let me and I understand why. And if I want to work, I don't know what kind of job should I get. I don't have any skills."

"Everybody can work and everybody has skills. To some people, it takes a lot of time before they discover there skills and what kind of job they want to do. So, I'm sure you'll discover yours soon."

"I didn't believe Kaownah when he said that you're kind, but now... I guess his right."

Bosser laughed at New's statement and he shook his head. That was the first time that he had a conversation with New. They always greeted each other at the resort, but they never had a chance to talk to each other. Now that both of them started to get along, he's sure that their short trip to Bangkok would be fun.

 

 

It was already past noon time when Gulf woke up, he loves sleeping so his parents would never bother him to wake up early unless if he has an early schedule to work. But ever since he had quitted his job, Gulf didn't search for a new one. His parents adviced him to focus on recovering himself first, they also thought that having a job would only make him more stressful. But he didn't spend his time lying idly on the couch or on his bed it's because he has been helping his father with their business.

Gulf got up and checked the time from the clock that was on his nightstand. He never missed the chance to stare at his picture frame with Mew that was sitting beside the clock.

"Good afternoon, Boo. I woke up late again today." He smiled and took a deep breath before he stood up and went downstairs to have his brunch.

When he reached the kitchen, he saw his mother just finished cooking his meals. She turned around to see her son, sitting at the dinning area already. She snorted and placed Gulf's meal in front of him.

"You're just in time."

"I got up late again, I'm sorry." He apologized while staring at his mother with a cute face.

"It's okay. You need enough rest as well." She stated.

"But I think, I got too much rest already." He mumbles. "I should start searching a new job. What do you think about that, mom?"

"Didn't we agree that you can only find a job once you're fully recovered? And you have just finished your therapy as well. How can you just find a job right away?"

"Yes, I just finished my talk therapy so I'm fine now, mom."

His mother gave him a sigh, she sat on a chair across her son and stared at him straight in the eyes. "This is for your own good, my son." She continued when Gulf just stayed silent. "Look, your dad and I... we're not restricting you, you can still do the things that you want to do. But for now, just set aside your plan about searching for a new job. Okay?"

Gulf stared at his mother who's plastering a pleading look on her face which could melt the heart of her son. And yes, it did work. Gulf nodded his head at his mother. He's known to be an obedient child, so there's no way that he's going to break that record.

Gulf's mother gave her son a smile after he ended up agreeing with her. "I know you're bored staying at home almost everyday. So today, I want you to go to the mall and buy a new bedsheet for your sister. Just like this." She grabbed her phone and showed a picture to Gulf. "She accidentally destroyed her bedsheet, so she asked me to buy a new one."

"Mom, she asked you to buy it for her, so it's better if you would do it. The staff will totally laugh at me because I'm buying a pink bedsheet."

His mom let out a soft chuckle. "I'd love to, son. But I have to do something important that's why I am asking you to buy it for her. Please?" His mom pleaded once again.

Seeing his mother pleading was really his weakness. He pursed his lips and slowly nodded his head, agreeing to his mother's request. "Fine, I'll go buy it."

 

 

 

Because of his mother's constant nagging for him to buy a new bedsheet for his sister, Gulf found himself walking around the furniture department where he could buy the said bedsheet. He could see a lot of bedsheets for the single and king size bed until he saw the one that his sister asked to buy.

After buying, Gulf left the furniture department and strolled for a little while around the mall. While roaming around, Gulf suddenly remember the time when he went out to the mall with Mew. The older was sulking at him that time and he didn't even know why. He kept on talking to Mew, but the older was ignoring him.

When Mew was busy looking at some figures, Gulf silently left Mew to find something that he could use to reconcile with his sulking boyfriend. As soon as Mew noticed that his boyfriend wasn't with him anymore, he went out from the shop and looked for Gulf. Mew's heart went soft when he found Gulf at an ice cream shop, buying his favorite flavor of ice cream. He slowly approached Gulf after the younger saw him.

He let out a sigh and pretended not to see the ice cream that Gulf was holding. "I have been looking for you around the mall."

"I just want to buy an ice cream." Gulf explained.

"Since when did you like eating sweets?"

"This is not mine." Gulf handed the ice cream to Mew without looking at the older. "I'm sorry. Don't be angry na."

Mew raised an eyebrow when Gulf handed him the ice cream. Instead of accepting the ice cream, Mew wanted to make it a little hard for Gulf when he crossed his arms in front of his chest as he shifted his attention to another direction. "Too bad. I... actually don't feel like eating an ice cream today."

"Aw! Really?" He said annoyingly. He roamed around the mall just to searched for an ice cream shop and Mew just told him that he didn't feel like eating it. He was pissed. "Okay, let's just throw it."

Gulf looked for a trash bin right away to throw the ice cream that he bought while Mew was secretly laughing at him. Mew shook his head and he chased Gulf.

"Hey~" He tried to call the younger who was really annoyed at him. "Bii, I was just kidding. Don't throw that, I'm going to eat it."

Gulf turned around and glared at the older, then he pouted when he saw Mew was just laughing at him. Mew held Gulf's hand that was holding the ice cream and brought the ice cream closer to him so that he could taste it. But Gulf playfully pushed the ice cream on Mew's face, making it scattered around the older's mouth and on his nose as well.

Gulf laughed seeing his boyfriend's face with ice cream on it. Mew wanted to get angry, but when he looked at Gulf cutely laughing at him, he couldn't help but to smile.

"I'm sorry Boo, I didn't mean it." Gulf said while laughing so hard.

"You did it on purpose."

Gulf moved closer to his boyfriend and wiped away the ice cream on Mew's face using some tissue as he kept on laughing at the older.

 

 

Upon arriving in the city, Bosser and New went straight to the shop were they could get the furniture that they've ordered. After they loaded the furniture on the pick up truck, Bosser strolled around the mall with the younger. He let New wait for him outside a shop as he went inside to buy some snacks for them. While waiting, New took that opportunity to wonder the nearby shops and one shop caught his attention. An ice cream shop. New was standing in front of an ice cream shop when a scene suddenly flashed on his mind. It was him and the man in his dreams, they were both laughing while the man was wiping his face.

He squinted his eyes as those memories kept flashing on his head. He placed his hand on his head when he felt like it was starting to get hurt. But before it would get worse, he heard Bosser's voice calling him.

"New!" Bosser called him. "I was looking for you outside the---" He paused and looked at New who looked so terrified. "New, are you okay?"

He shook his head. "Nothing, it's okay. I'm okay."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He quickly calmed himself and glanced at Bosser.

"Okay." He answered. "Here, this is for you." He then gave the snacks that he bought for New. "Before going back to Surat Thani, let's stop at a boba milk tea shop. I know a delicious milk tea shop outside, it's just near here. Let's go!" He said and gently dragged the younger to the parking area where they parked their car.

 

 

Since Gulf's mother just dropped him at the mall, Gulf needed to commute going back home. The waiting line to get a taxi was quite long that he chose to leave the mall by walking. It would take a long time for him to get home if he stood up in line and waited for a taxi, there were only few taxis arriving at the mall because some of them were stuck in a traffic.

Gulf was standing on the other side of the road as he waited for the green light for him to cross. Across from where he was standing was a boba milk tea shop. As he was staring at the shop across him, he remembered Mew once again. If Mew was with him at that time, they would surely stop at the milk tea shop just to buy one.

A man came out from the milk tea shop while happily holding a boba milk tea on his hand. Upon seeing the man, Gulf's heart suddenly skipped a beat. The man turned to looked at the person behind him which made Gulf to clearly see his face.

He gasped.

His hands and legs lost their strength that he almost dropped the plastic bag that he was holding.

The man who came out from the shop was the person he thought who had died in a car accident almost a year ago. The person who broke his heart into pieces. The person he thought who has gone forever. And the person he'a supposed to marry. It was Mew.

"P'Mew..." Tears started to gather in his eyes as he mentioned Mew's name.

Gulf looked at the signal light, but it wasn't his turn to cross the road yet. He looked at Mew once again, Mew was happily talking to someone as they were heading into their car. Mew was going to leave.

Gulf bravely took a step and stopped the cars just for him to cross the street. He kept on apologizing to the drivers as he continued to cross the street. He didn't care about anything as of that moment, all he was thinking was to stop Mew from leaving and come back to him.

He was already half way from crossing the road when he glanced at Mew and saw him getting on the car as he mumbled. "No no, wait."

"P'Mew!" He shouted this time, but Mew didn't hear him. "P'Mew! P'Mew!"

The car already left when Gulf successfully crossed the road. He wanted to run and follow Mew's car but his legs were weak to even do that. His tears were falling on his cheeks like a river as he went down on his knees and shouted. "Boo!"

 

"Boo?" New mumbled. He was sipping his boba milk tea when he heard someone shouting.

Bosser frowned at New when he noticed the younger mumbling something. "Why? Is there something wrong, New?"

"Huh? Ahh... no, I just think I heard someone shouting Boo."

"Boo?" Bosser raised an eyebrow.

New let out an awkward smile then shook his head at the older. "It's nothing P'Boss. I'm just hearing things, I think. Just forget about it."

"I see. Okay."

Just like what New said to Bosser, he just ignored the voice that he heard and thought that maybe he was just hearing things. There were many people around and it was noisy as well. He continued to enjoy his boba milk tea and snacks as they were heading back to Surat Thani.