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LOST MEMORIES

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A black mercedes benz stopped just right in front of the Traipipattanapong's residence late in the afternoon. When the engine of the car had died down, a fine young man came out from the car. That man was wearing casual clothes, but still looked fashionable and elegant.

"Ohooo~ You look like a model who's going to a fashion show." Gulf teased the man standing outside their house.

"Aw! Gulf!"

"Hey, P'Tong." He approached the older and welcomed him with a hug.

"Where are your parents?" Tong asked the younger after their shared a quick hug.

Gulf responded him by pointing his finger at the main door of their house. And when Tong followed to where the younger was pointing, he saw Gulf's parents came out and walked towards them.

"Oh! Auntie, Uncle, hello." Tong greeted the elders with a wai.

The elders were happy to see him once again and gave him a warm welcome. Gulf and his father helped Tong unloaded his stuff from his car and brought it to his room which is just beside Gulf's. They were catching up with the young man while having their dinner, Gulf's parents asked about Gulf when he was still staying at the province and Tong was too honest that he literally told them everything he knew.

 

 

 

Once they were done with their dinner, Gulf's parents let Tong took an early rest since he drove for hours going to the city. But Tong who's not feeling sleepy yet, went to the younger's room. He knocked before entering and saw Gulf sitting at his desk.

"I thought you were already sleeping." Gulf, who was busy sitting at his desk while reading something from his laptop, asked the older who barged in his room without sparing him a glance.

"Not yet. I just finished unpacking my things." He explained and sat on the younger's bed. "How about you what are you doing?"

"Ahh~ I see." He faced the older before he continued. "Me? I was reading a letter from my company. They heard that I finally got back in the city two weeks ago, so they were asking if I can return to work already."

"You're still in your previous company? I thought you quit."

"I did, but they didn't want me to leave. The owner advised me to come back when I'm ready."

"So kind." He murmured. "Oh! I haven't heard anything about Mew. How is he?"

Upon hearing Mew's name, Gulf slowly pressed his lips together and his eyes suddenly showed sadness. "P'Mew... he's fine." And after responding, Gulf turned his back on the older, facing his desk, and returned his attention to the machine in front of him.

"Really? Then, how about you two?" The older asked. "You left the province without him. And when you left, he came to my house searching for you while bringing your couple bracelets. I was wondering, if you guys made up when he arrived here."

"Us... yeah, we did. We talked and cleared everything."

But he wasn't convinced with Gulf's answer. Witnessing their drama for a month, he could easily tell that there's something going on with the two. "Liar. You're lying."

Letting out a sigh, Gulf turned around and found Tong staring at him with a serious look on his face. "Pi, don't look at me like that."

"You still push him away? Why? He got his memories back. Kaownah already let him go. Then what's the problem this time?"

"I already told you Pi that we've cleared everything already."

"But something's telling me that you aren't." He stated. "Even if we stayed together only for a month, but I learned a lot of things about you. When you're sad, happy, angry, annoyed... I can read them just by looking at you."

"What? Are you some kind of a mood teller?"

But Tong retained that serious look on his face as he wanted for the younger to be open to him again, just like how he was at the province. On the other hand, Gulf wanted to avoid any conversations related to Mew because of what happened at that night, when they were heading home from visiting Eye at her shop. He knew that Tong wouldn't easily give up and so he grabbed his wedding invitation with Mew and handed it to the older.

"You wanna know why? It's because of this."

Tong's gaze shifted to the object that was handed to him. It was a card, Mew and Gulf's wedding invitation to be exact. He slowly reached it with uncertainty.

"I didn't him push away. It's true that we've cleared everything, except for that. Our marriage." Gulf started opening up to the older. "I told him to cancel it."

"H-huh?" Stunned, Tong stuttered as he responded.

"I don't want the wedding to happen."

"What? Why? This is what you guys have always wanted. Why cancel it?"

"Yes, before. But not now, Pi. Well, for me, I don't want it anymore."

"What did Mew say?"

"He said..."

 

***
Going back home, Mew kept on glancing at the younger beside him as he was driving the car. Everytime their wedding would be brought up, Gulf turned silent like he didn't want to talk about it. And it made him question why?

"Bii?"

"Hmm?" Gulf answered right away, turning his head to look at the older. "What is it Boo?"

"Is there something wrong?"

"Wrong?" Furrowing his brows as he mumbled. "What do you mean?"

He glinted at the younger. "At the shop, you turned silent after P'Eye asked about the wedding."

And they're talking about the wedding again. "O-ohh..." Gulf uttered awkwardly.

"Not only at the shop, but also during the dinner. What's wrong?"

"It's nothing."

"I don't think so. Come on, tell me."

"It's really nothing, just focus your attention on the road." He strongly insisted.

"Bii, please..."

Gulf knew that Mew wouldn't stop bugging him until he stated the reason why he was acting like that. And he also knew that what he was about to say, would either make the older furious or sympathize him. "I was thinking that... maybe... we should just cancel it. Let's not get married."

Once Gulf stated it, the car abruptly stopped in the middle of the road. And thankfully they weren't on the main road when it happened because it would surely cause a traffic. Silence filled the atmosphere inside the car after it had stopped. Mew, who's eyes were directed on the dark road ahead them, suddenly snorted and looked at Gulf.

"You're just kidding, right? You like playing jokes on me."

"I'm not kidding, P'Mew."

"Then why? Why do you want to cancel it? Don't you want to be with me anymore? You want us to end already?"

"That's not what I mean." As he gave his reply, Gulf faced the older. "Canceling our wedding doesn't mean I'm breaking up with you."

"Well, that's how I understood it."

"I'm just canceling the wedding, I don't remember that I said that I'm breaking up with you."

"Cancel? Why do you want to cancel it in the first place? Y-you don't like the venue? We can change it."

"P'Mew..."

"What? You don't want lots of people to come? We can make it private. We can talk about it. We can replan ---"

"It's not the venue." Gulf cut him, raising his voice a little at the older for him to be heard. "And it's not about the people. It's about me and you. I'm scared. Don't you remember? You got into an accident when our wedding was just around the corner. Our supposed to be wedding, turned out to be your funeral. Yes, you're alive. But what if this time, it would happen again and you would die for real?" Gulf shook his head. "I don't want that to happen anymore. I don't want to experience the same thing again."

"Bii..." Mew understood him. He knew how hard it was for Gulf. But for him, it's just plainly an accident and it's nothing to do with their wedding. He reached for Gulf's hand and caressed it to calm his boyfriend. "I thought you don't believe auspicious things."

"I believe it only for this."

"Gulf, what happened before had nothing to do with our wedding. It was just an accident."

"It's not JUST an accident." Gulf wanted for Mew to believe that what happened wasn't just an ordinary accident. "It's not like marriage is the only thing that can make us stay together. We can still be together even without that."

What Gulf said was actually a fact. It's a fact for some, but not for Mew. Their wedding is very important to him because it's another milestone in their relationship and hearing Gulf not wanting to take that step with him is truely heartbreaking.

"I don't know why you strongly believe into this. But I feel like, you're using this to make me stay away from you. After all, that is what you really wanted, right? You left me. You left me in the province, but I came back. And now you're doing this."

"How many times do I have to tell you that it's not about that?"

"Then how many times do I have to tell you also that it was just an accident and nothing else?" Mew fired back. He was angry, annoyed, and hurt at the same time. Upon realizing what he did, that he slightly yelled at the younger, he looked away and started the car engine. "Forget it. I'll send you home now."

Didn't want to argue with the older anymore, Gulf stayed silent and let Mew sent him home. In their years of being together, it was the first time that Mew yelled at him. The whole ride was really silent as they were both heading to the younger's house. And when they arrived at Gulf's house, Gulf just said a good night to Mew and told him to drive safely without even sparing a glance. Gulf got out from the car and went inside the house.

***

"All I can say is that... you've just ruined everything." Tong commented right away after listening Gulf's story.

"Thanks Pi." Gulf sarcastically said, rolling his eyes at the older.

"So, what now?"

"We didn't meet after that. I might ask him to talk about it."

"No, not might but you MUST talk to him." The older strongly recommended. "But before you two face each other, you need to think carefully about it again. You should let your parents know about as well, if you're going to cancel or go for it. And try to remember why you fought for him back in the province, it might help you make a decision."

Tong left Gulf in his room after giving a little advice. Shortly after the older left, he tried to think of what would be the best choice. Cancel or go? He followed what Tong said and recalled everything that happened in Surat Thani. He fought for Mew, he didn't give up for the older, he ignored the difficulties in regaining his memories, he endured all of that just to get back the man that he loves. For what? Because he wanted to be with Mew again. But why is he giving up now?

Gulf then opened the drawer under his desk and saw a small blue velvet box which contained the engagement ring that Mew gave to him. He stared and caressed the ring after opening it. Gulf was so engrossed with his own thoughts when his phone suddenly beeped and snapped him from his thoughts. His phone was telling him that someone has sent him a message and when Gulf checked the sender, he read Mew's name.

I want to talk to you, let's meet when you're free. Good night.

 

 

 

It was like Mew could read Gulf's mind that he sent the younger a message, inviting him for a talk or maybe, both of them were just thinking the same thing. Gulf's mind were filled with lots of things as he walked through the park at night. The sun had set already and only the lampposts were the ones that lighted up the paths.

As he continued to trudge, Gulf finally saw Mew sitting on one of the benches facing a lake. He stood from behind, still far away from Mew, as he stared at the older enjoying his time in front of a small lake. After some quite time, he walked heading to Mew and sat on the bench, with spaces between them.

It was an awkward situation. Both of them were acting like they didn't know each other. Before, even when they were fighting, they would still send messages, meet, and talk. But now, they didn't even see each other for two weeks, they hardly send messages because neither of them tried to reach out, not until Mew did. It's like they're going back from being strangers.

"How long are we going to be like this?" Mew finally spoke, eyes were still glued on the lake in front of him. When he didn't receive any response from Gulf, he continued. "These past few days, I was thinking about what you've said. It was such a waste to cancel a beautiful event. But if that's what you really wanted, then I'm okay. Let's just cancel it."

This was what Gulf wanted, but after Mew had come up with a decision to cancel it, Gulf didn't have the energy to be happy at all. The idea about not pursuing their wedding started because of him. But now that he got what he wanted, he was hurt.

He's good at keeping his real feelings, though he was hurt, he didn't want the older to see it. He acted like he's so strong, but deep inside, he's not. He just wanted to apologize to the older and give him a hug.

"I was thinking the same thing as well." Gulf said, trying his best not to crack his voice. "How long are we going to stay like this? I'm afraid that it maybe longer than two weeks."

With that statement, Mew turned to look at Gulf and he did the same thing as well. He was forced to accept the cancelation of their wedding just to fix their misunderstanding, but it has gotten worse instead. They were staring at each other's eyes before Mew asked. "What do you mean?"

"P'Mew, do me a favor."

Mew felt strange with their conversation. He had this feeling that it wouldn't go just like how he wanted it to be. "What is it?"

"Let's give each other some space."

"Space?"

"The past is still hunting me. I can't go on and act like nothing happened when it keeps on bothering me. It's affecting me, you, our relationship... and I don't want to make it worse."

Mew was utterly speechless. He couldn't utter any words as there was nothing that he could think of. He was just sitting there, staring at the younger, completely stunned at everything that he heard.

"You've been healed already. Now it's time for me to heal myself. I hope you'll understand."

"Yes, I am. But you were also there, you helped me get back my memories, meet my family, bring me back to my old life. It all happened because of you." Mew brought out. "Why you want to do it all alone, when I can be there by your side? After all, I am the reason of that."

"That's why I'm asking you a favor, that's how you're going to help me." Gulf opened his small bag and grabbed the small velvet box that he found in his drawer. Then he handed it to Mew. "I'm returning this to you."

"Why? Why are you returning this?" Mew uttered quiveringly after seeing the box handed to him.

"I don't think I can keep that when I already stepped back from it."

"I... I don't understand."

"I know, but soon you will." Without further explanation, Gulf turned around, leaving Mew from behind still trying to puzzle what was happening.

Mew shook his head as he stared at the box on his hand, his tears dropped as he lifted his head, watching Gulf leaving. The scene was so familiar to him, it was just like in Surat Thani when Gulf pushed him away to let him be with Kaownah. At that time, he didn't try stop the younger. But now, it's different.

With every ounce of his strength, he trudged going to the younger and hugged him from behind. When Gulf felt Mew's arms, he melted with the younger's touch but he continued his act. He didn't want his plan to fail just because he let himself moved by the older's touch.

"Don't leave me." He pleaded with tears.

Of course, he isn't that bad enough to ignore his partner crying and begging for him to stay. Gulf turned around and look at Mew, he wiped the older's tears then he said. "I'm not leaving you. I was just asking for some space. I want to be a better person when I get back to you."

"No, you don't have to." Mew shook his head.

"But I have to." He gave the older a reassuring smile. "Drive safely when you go home and take care of yourself." That was Gulf's last statement before he completely walked away from the older.

"Gulf..." Mew called him, still trying his best to change Gulf's mind. But Gulf didn't turn to look at him anymore and Mew just watched his lover leaving him again and slowly disappeared from his sight.

 

 

The image of Mew crying in front of him while begging not to leave replayed on Gulf's mind as he stood in front of the mirror, watching his own reflection. He's hurt just like how his lover was hurt. What he did wasn't only for him though, but it's for the both of them. His attention shifted to an envelope that was sitting on his desk. With a gloomy face, he walked towards his desk and slowly reached his hand to grab that thing.

Before he could open the envelop, he sat on the edge of his bed. After finally opening it, he slid the paper out. The paper inside was the latest result of his assessment from his psychiatrist. After experiencing grief, he's now diagnosed with traumatic disorder but it wasn't severe as the first one.

With the help of Tong, Gulf was able to let his family know about his withdrawal from his own marriage causing his family to widen their eyes in shock. After stating the reason why, his mother suggested him to visit his doctor for them to know why he was feeling that way. Gulf got his result before meeting Mew and it helped him made a decision.

As suggested by his doctor, Gulf agreed to undergo another treatment which would last for months and this was the reason why Gulf asked Mew for some space. He wanted to undergo the treatment strictly with the knowledge of his family only, because he didn't want Mew to feel guilty for what happened. He wasn't directly involved with Mew's accident, but the shock of what happened greatly affect him. Mew is his lover, he knows that Mew has the right to know about it, but the older just came back. He wanted the older not only to regain his memories but also to completely get his life back.

 

 

After his heartbreaking met up with Gulf, Mew came home with a heavy heart. He broke down in tears and his family were there to comfort him and waited for him to tell them the reason why. When asked, Mew told them about Gulf's decisions, to cancel their wedding and to take a break for a while.

Knowing the reason behind their son's sadness, they felt pity for Mew but they weren't angry at Gulf with his decisions because they knew that Gulf has his own reasons for doing it.

Later that night, Mew's mother couldn't help herself and so she called Gulf's mother. They had quite a long conversation and Mew's mother learned about Gulf's diagnosis. The information was strictly keep within the Traipipattanapong family only, but Mew's family isn't a stranger to them at all. Gulf's mother told her after she was permitted by her son, but only Mew's parents. Gulf reminded them not to let Mew know about it.

 

 

 

 

Two months had passed after Mew and Gulf's last meeting at the park which led them to have a break from their relationship for a while. Weeks after that night, Gulf came back to his job with his previous company. And while he was busy focusing on his treatment and his work, Mew was also busy getting back to his life before the accident.

Tong, who had passed his masters degree entrance exam, continued living at Gulf's house while studying his masters. He brought up his concern about staying there and thought about finding a condo for him to live. But Gulf's parents disagreed, saying that he's not familiar with city and it would be better for him to stay with them.

He was glad with their kindness, but he felt embarassed staying their until he finish his studies. Because of this, he was given options to choose from. Whether he would stay there and move to a condo after a year or just move right away. And at the end, Tong decided staying there because Gulf kept on nagging him to stay even just for a year.

During the first month of Gulf's treatment, everything was difficult. He needed to go back to the past, thinking about Mew's accident that made his life changed into a such a big mess. Going back to the past means he needed to think about how they happily prepared their supposed to be wedding but ended up a funeral ceremony of his groom to be.

Gulf usually broke down in tears during the treatment as he was thinking about those things in detailed and he continued reacting that way for weeks. On the 2nd month, Gulf was exposed to something that he wanted to avoid. The weddings. In this process, Gulf's therapist could help him gain control of his fear and distress by changing the negative way Gulf thought about his experience, especially his fear about happening it again. This was the reason why he disregarded his wedding with Mew, thinking that the said event would bring bad luck to his relationship with the older if it continued.

Despite of Gulf's favor, Mew and him didn't lose their communication. Both of them still communicate with each other through Line. Mew also found out about Gulf's diagnosis during the 3rd month of the younger's treatment. Not because Gulf told him, but Mew's father was asking information about Gulf's health and his response to the treatment without knowing that Mew already came home from work and listened to their conversation.

Their son started questioning and begging them to tell him the real reason behind Gulf's behaviour at that night. His parents ended up sharing what they've known to their son and made him try to understand Gulf's situation. Even if Gulf didn't want him to feel guilty, he couldn't help but to feel it anyway. Because even though which angle he would try to look at it, Gulf wouldn't suffer from a trauma if his accident didn't happen.

 

 

Gulf had finished his work and was on his way out from the elevator when his phone rang. As he grabbed it from his pocket to look at the caller, he saw Tong's name. After seeing the older's name, Gulf quickly answered his phone.

"Pi?"

"Gulf, where are you now?"

"I just got out from the elevator, are you here already?"

"No, not yet. Can you take a taxi going back home? There's something that we need to finish today, and it might take a little bit longer."

"Ohh~ I see. It's okay, Pi." Gulf reassured the older, when he heard disappointment from the older's voice. "I can take a taxi, so there's no need to worry."

"Okay, let me know if you're home already."

Gulf just responded with a lively hum before he ended the call. He was standing at the lobby the whole time as he was answering Tong's call. After shoving his phone back to his pocket, Gulf lifted his head, ready to leave the building but was shocked to see Mew standing a few steps from him.

"P-P'Mew?" Gulf stammered in disbelief. Ever since that night, the two of them didn't meet as it was Gulf's decision and Mew respected the younger's wish.

But Mew was there, standing in front of him while staring longingly at Gulf. Mew then took steps towards the younger and stopped when he was close enough.

"What are you doing here?" Gulf asked, still surprised at Mew's presence.

"Can we talk?"

 

 

Originally, Gulf wanted to reject the thought of having a talk with Mew. But he felt bad for the older. They haven't met for months, then Mew even drove going to his workplace just to be rejected. He would be so cruel if it happened. So, in the end, Gulf agreed and he found himself sitting across the older in a vip room of a restaurant.

"Eat." Mew simply uttered, encouraging for the younger to eat instead of wondering his eyes around the place and to the mouthwatering Thai food in front of them.

"Why did you come to my workplace? And how did you know that I return to that company?"

"Your mom. I went to meet her before seeing you." Mew answered while placing some food on Gulf's plate when the younger wouldn't budge and just keep on throwing questions at him. "I've asked her permission to see you and for letting you go home a little bit late today."

"Why do you want to see me?"

"Eat, let's talk later."

Refusing to answer his question, Gulf pursed his lips and followed what Mew said since he's already hungry anyway. The two of them ate in silence. A few minutes later, when they were almost full, Mew dropped a question that made Gulf almost choke.

"How's your treatment going?"

Mew's question made Gulf almost choke on his food, then he looked at Mew with wide eyes. "How? How did you know about it?"

"So, you don't have a plan to tell me about that?"

"It's not like that." Gulf tried to defend himself. "I'm not planning to keep it from you forever. I just want to do it by myself and when it's over, I'll tell you about it."

"I thought we've got each other's back in everything. This treatment thingy is not a joke. Why you keep it on your own?"

"Are you angry?"

"I'm not. I was just saying."

Taking a deep breath, Gulf prepared himself to explain it to the older. "The thing is... I don't want you to blame yourself for this. And at that time, you just got back. If I let you know, you'll be stuck taking care of me than trying to get back to your old life."

How could he get angry at his partner if he's saying all those things? Even when Gulf's suffering from a trauma, he still thought about him. Mew knew about Gulf's reason because his parents told him already, but he still wanted to hear it from the younger. It's true that Gulf usually makes selfish decisions, and it's not only for himself but also to the people involved in it.

"I understand. But you should have just told me. Now, eat. So you'll be strong enough for the next session of your treatment."

When he thought that Mew would rant at him, but it turned out that his partner even encouraged him for his treatment. That made him smile. For him, doing the treatment by himself was scary. He wanted Mew beside him but he didn't want Mew to see him being tormented by thinking about the accident. "Thank you Pi."

 

 

"We're here." After their dinner at a thai restaurant, they had a short walk, catching up with each other. When it was already time to go, Mew sent the younger back home.

"I'll get inside now."

"Okay." Mew watched Gulf unbuckling his seatbelt, it's like he didn't want the younger to get inside yet. They haven't seen each other for two months and while the younger's treatment is ongoing, he didn't know when he could see the younger again. When Gulf was about to open the door, Mew called out Gulf's name. "Gulf..."

"Pi?" He stopped and turned to look at the older when he was called.

Mew stayed silent for a while, staring only at the younger, then he said. "I miss you..." It was something that he wanted to say to Gulf as soon as he saw him. "Goodnight. You should get inside now."

Before it was just normal for them to say it. But hearing Mew say it, hits different to Gulf. He could feel the older's sincerety and longing for him. It wasn't only Mew though, because even him, he also missed the older so much. Instead of giving a response, Gulf just sent Mew a quick smile and a nod before he got off from the car.

He stood outside and wait for Mew to drove away. When Mew left, he grabbed his phone and typed a message to the older. He took a quick glance of Mew's car that was already far away from him before he got inside their house.

After driving for almost an hour, Mew finally arrived home. He parked his car and decided to stay inside for a while. He leaned his back against the car seat and pulled out his phone from his pocket. He remembered that his phone beeped as he was driving back home. And when he checked his Line, he got a message from Gulf. As soon as he opened the message and read it, his lips crept into a smile, expressing his happiness with the younger's message.

I miss you, Boo. Drive safely. Goodnight.

Since that day, Mew cheered Gulf in his treatment. He knew all the schedule of Gulf's treatment sessions. He's cheering his partner from a far by sending him some bouquets of flowers with encouraging messages. Not only that, because sometimes he would deliver food to the younger's company for him to have healthy meals always. Gulf, on the other hand, appreciated what his partner did for him. Mew may know about what he's going through, but he still stick to his decision to fight it alone, without bothering Mew.

 

 

Four months later...

Four months already passed and after a long journey of his treatment, Gulf finally finished the last session of it and he successfully coped up with any distress, misinterpretations, and unhelpful thoughts he had about the accident. His case wasn't severe, but he chose to have six months treatment for him to fully recover from his trauma. He may still get a little bit scared about car accidents, but he could control his emotions and thoughts about it, unlike before that he always think negatively and connect it to some events in his life.

As soon as it has finally ended, Gulf wanted to see his lover in which he didn't meet for four months. If Mew didn't come to his workplace at that night, they wouldn't have seen each other for the whole six months. But even though he had the urge to see Mew, he couldn't bring himself to grab his phone, dialed Mew's number, and tell the older that he wanted to meet him.

 

"Thank you for sending me to work, Pi." Gulf expressed his gratitude to the older after sending him to work since his car was broken and his mother sent it to a shop to be fixed. "My car would probably be fixed next week."

"It's okay." Tong said. "I can actually send you to work everyday if you want."

He let out an awkward laugh. "I don't want to bother you, Pi."

"You're not a bother though."

"But still---"

"But still... you're not a bother to me." He cut the younger. "By the way, did you meet Mew already?"

Gulf immediately shook his head at the question.

"Why? Are you punishing him that much? It has been more than a week since you had the last session of your therapy. You should see him."

"I want to, Pi." He slightly pouted. "But I'm shy. I was the one who wanted for us to be away for awhile and then here I am, wanting to see him."

"Crazy." Tong murmured after releasing a sigh.

"Heard that Pi."

"Six months is not awhile. He might be dying now from missing you so much. Really crazy."

"It's only four months, Pi."

"It's just the same. You only met once within six months."

Not really wanting to argue with the older early in the morning, Gulf unbuckled his seatbelt and prepared himself to get off from the car. "Calm down na, Pi. I'll see what I can do. Pick me up tonight, bye!"

Before Tong could react, Gulf has gotten off the car already. He could see the younger waving at him before trudging inside the company building where Gulf is working. Tong shook his head before leaving the area and headed to his school.

 

 

 

It was Sunday and it's the only day that Gulf could sleep the whole day without anyone or anything interrupting him because it's his whole day off from work. But the consecutive knocks on his door were telling him that sleeping wasn't meant for him on that day.

Feeling annoyed, Gulf got up from his bed and opened the door to check who was disturbing him early in the morning. And when he opened the door, he saw his sister and Tong with a creepy smile on their faces.

"Good morning, bro." Grace happily greeted her annoyed brother.

"What do you guys want, huh?"

"You have a visitor." Tong said almost in a whisper.

"Huh? Visitor? I don't need a visitor. I want to sleep."

Tong and Grace glanced at each other with their brows furrowed. When Gulf attempted to close the door, they immediately blocked it using their hands.

"You can sleep later."

"This is not the time to sleep."

"You need to go down."

"And welcome your visitor."

"Mom told me to bring you downstairs."

Knowing that he couldn't win against the two, Gulf just gave up. He glared at the two before going down to see who was that visitor they were talking about. He didn't even care that he still loooked like a mess. His hair was messy and he's still wearing pajamas.

Gulf was making an annoying look on his face while going down the stairs, but he almost fell off when he saw Mew at the dinning area helping his mother in setting up the table for their breakfast. He stiffened when Mew looked at his direction, staring at him with full of affection even though he looked like a mess.

"Aw! Gulf, you're up. Your boyfriend is here. Come, let's have breakfast." His mother said when she spotted her son standing at the stairs.

"I-I'll take a quick shower first. I'll be back."

Without waiting for his mother's response, Gulf turned around and was about to take steps going up when he saw Tong and Grace, both had their arms crossed in front of their chest. Acting smug after Mew saw a messy version of him. They really joined their forces just to tease him early in the morning.

"I hate you two." He declared before stomping going back to his room and took a quick shower.

 

 

Once they finished their breakfast, Mew asked permission from Gulf's mother that he wanted to take the younger out for the whole day. Without any hesitation, Gulf's mother agreed right away. She knew how much the two missed each other after not seeing for a long time.

"How are you?" Mew asked, trying to break the silent atmosphere while driving the car.

"I'm fine."

"After the treatment?"

"Ohh~ I feel better. Better than before." Gulf sent the older a sweet smile.

Mew took a quick glance at his boyfriend and after seeing a smile on Gulf's face, it made him smile as well. "I'm glad."

"Hmm! Boo, where are we going?"

"We're going on a date." The older plainly said, focusing his attention on the road.

"Date? Suddenly?"

"What suddenly? The last time we had our date was a year ago, I think?"

"No~ We went on a date when we were in Surat Thani."

"Ah that one is not included, I was New at that time."

"It's just the same person though." Gulf cutely murmured with a pout.

"Why? Don't you want to go on a date with me?"

"I want!" He exclaimed right away. "Of course, I want."

"Good~ Where do you want to go?"

 

 

 

It was like Gulf was imprisoned for how many months or years that he wanted to visit lots of places. And they were all unusual for Mew. But they couldn't visit them all in just a day. First, Gulf wanted to visit the Lumphini park where both of them rented a swan boat for a pedal around the lake. It's like an old-school romance, but he liked it since they've never tried it before.

"Bii, what's gotten into you? Why do you want to come here and do this?" Mew asked as they were both in the middle of the lake, pedaling their boat to go around.

Smiling, Gulf enjoyed looking around the place while riding the swan boat they've rented. "I just want to try this with you."

"Suddenly? You've never asked me to do this before."

As he was pedaling, Gulf remembered the time when he came to Lumphini park alone. "Actually, I usually come here after my treatment. To breathe some fresh air, clear my mind, and enjoy the scenery. And I see lots of couples enjoy their time pedaling this boat. At that time, I suddenly thought about trying it with you once I recovered."

Whenever Gulf wanted to do something, he always had reasons of doing it and hearing the reason behind their pedal boat date, Mew wasn't able to stop himself from staring at his boyfriend. Throughout the whole six months that they were away from each other, he had never thought that Gulf would still have time to think about him.

Mew was so engrossed at the younger's story that he stopped pedaling in order to focus on the younger.

"Boo~ keep pedaling! I can't run this boat if you'll just let me do it alone." Gulf started complaining. "Look! We haven't even moved."

Mew scratched his nape and awkwardly laughed at the younger after he was snapped from his thoughts. "Bii, I'm tired."

"Tired? Just think about this as your exercise. You love exercising, right? Then pedal!"

"No~ I don't want. Just continue Bii, I'll relax in here." Mew said, comfortably leaning his back against the seat while closing his eyes.

"We'll eat lunch at 3PM if you don't pedal." Said Gulf, threatening the older who's strictly following his own time table when it comes to eating his meals.

 

 

 

It seemed like Gulf missed the province that he asked Mew to go to the urban forest right after they finished eating their lunch at a local restaurant. It was a great time to walk on a skywalk over the green forest because of the cloudy sky. For someone who likes nature, it was a great place to visit and enjoy the beauty of nature even if you're in the city and Gulf just loved it so much.

They both stopped and leaned on the side of the bridge to look over the forest underneath them. While Gulf was busy admiring the beauty of nature, Mew was also busy staring at his boyfriend and admiring Gulf's cheerful look on his face. He didn't even notice that Gulf's attention was at him already.

"Is there something wrong with my face, Boo?" Gulf confusedly asked Mew after he caught the older staring at him.

"Oh! No." Mew eagerly shook his head as he answered.

"Then, why are you staring at me?"

The older looked away, shifting his attention from Gulf going to the forest. "Just... I feel happy seeing you being so cheerful."

"Ohhh~"

"You were really sad for more than year. You always cry. Seeing you at this state now, I feel at ease. Your sacrifices have been paid off."

"Our sacrifices." He corrected the older.

If they were both bickering at Lumphini park then it was different at the urban forest because they've just disclosed a quite serious topic between them.

"Okay, our sacrifices. I was really scared when you said that we need to stay away from each other for a while. Usually, couples who were in that stage ended up being broken."

"That won't happen. You know that I'll never break up with you."

"I know, but..." The older insisted. "Our minds easily change. Most people say that they will never break up with the person that they love, but in the end they still left."

It's a fact to some people, but Gulf weren't one of them. If he said something, he would really keep it. So if he says that he's not going to break up with Mew, then he will never do it. "Have you lost your faith in me at that time?"

"No, never. I was hoping that you would come back one day just like what you said... and you really did."

"Of course." Gulf muttered, he was so proud of himself because he kept his promise to the older until the end. "I told you that I'll come back as a better person."

"You're already the best for me though." Said Mew while pulling the younger closer to him, wrapping his arm around Gulf's shoulder.

"Oyyy~ such a sweet talker."

The older cutely giggled at the younger's comment. Gulf did the same and he wrapped both his arms around Mew's waist.

"Come on, let's go to the other side of the bridge." With that position, Gulf dragged the older with him for them to continue walking the bridge and reach the other side.

"Let's go back now, Bii. I don't want to walk anymore."

"You're complaining too much today. I feel like I wanted to push you off from this bridge."

"Very harsh, Bii."

 

 

To end their unusual date, Mew decided where to go for their dinner. He didn't want Gulf to decide because of what happened during their lunch. Gulf brought him to a small local food restaurant located along the street of a local market. It's not like he didn't want to go there, the place was just really hot and he couldn't eat properly because he was sweating too much.

For their dinner, Mew brought his boyfriend at Sala Rattanakosin, a fancy restaurant along Chao Phraya River where they got an excellent view of the beautiful sunset, Wat Arun, and as well as the river.

"This place is too expensive." Now, it's Gulf's turn to complain at the older.

"But it's good." He complimented before pulling a chair for Gulf to sit on it.

"Have you been here already?"

Mew seated across his boyfriend then grabbed the menu as he gave his boyfriend an answer. "Not yet, it's my first time coming here, but I heard that their food is really good."

"Food from expensive restaurants are always good."

"Not all. Now, stop complaining, what do you want to eat?"

"Stir fried pork with basil."

Hearing that dish once again, Mew made a face at the younger. "Aren't you tired of that dish?"

"Why? Aren't you tired eating sashimi?"

"Fine." Mew murmured, they have been bickering since morning and he didn't want to continue it until the night comes.

While their food was being prepared, the two enjoyed watching the beautiful sunset that could be seen from where they were. Smiles were both painted on their faces as they looked at it and reminisced the last time they saw it. They were at the beach in Surat Thani, and it was their last trip before Gulf went back to the city.

"Bii, it was Kaownah's graduation three months ago." Mew said all of a sudden.

Gulf got excited after Kaownah's name was mentioned. He really wanted to know about how Kaownah was doing. Even after what happened, he never hate Kaownah. "Really? I couldn't even congratulate him."

"It's okay, I already did."

"You do?"

Mew nodded his head with a smile. "I sent him and Turbo some bouquets of flowers under our names to congratulate them. They called me to say thank you. They asked about you as well and Kaownah said that he would come here to see you after you're done with your treatment."

He was touched. Kaownah was a great person and Gulf wanted to get to know more about him. They were so focused on Mew before that they didn't have time to try to get to know each other. "I wish I was there when you talk to them."

"It's okay, let's just visit them if we have time."

Just after they ended their conversation about Kaownah, their mouthwatering dinner was finally served, both of them dug in right away. Gulf eyes widened after taking a bite of their stir fried pork with basil, he didn't expect it to be really that good. And he just concluded that his boyfriend was right, the food in that restaurant was really amazing.

Both of them talked about a lot of things while having their dinner. They recalled some memories they had at the province and Mew explained his side, for Gulf to understand what was running on his mind during those times. When they were almost done, Gulf excused himself to go to the restroom.

Meanwhile, Mew was using his phone when he heard noise. He looked at the river and saw a cruise passing by with people partying on board. It wasn't just a simple party, because it was a wedding celebration. The newlyweds were both men and Mew could see how happy they were, celebrating with their family and friends judging by the wide smiles on their faces. Deep inside, Mew felt envy. He would have had that kind of celebration if only Gulf didn't cancel their wedding. Even though it turned out that way, he's still happy because he still has Gulf with him. But everytime he heard or saw something related to wedding, he couldn't help but to feel envy and sad.

Just when Gulf came back from the restroom, he saw Mew staring from a far. Following the older's gaze, Gulf found out that Mew was actually looking at a cruise that passed by in front of the restaurant where they dined. And in that cruise, was a wedding celebration of both men and it looked like the newlywed couple was having their reception at a cruise.

Gulf brought his gaze back to the older and he could see the presence of jealousy in Mew's eyes. He felt ashamed for ruining their wedding and for making his partner feel envy about other people's marriage. Taking a deep breathe, Gulf then made his way back to their table.

"What was that noise?" The younger asked, glancing at the cruise which was already far from them.

"Ohh, just some people having their party in the cruise."

"Party?"

"Hmm, party."

"I see."

Gulf stared at Mew who didn't even spare a glance at him and just continued eating his meal. The older was avoiding the topic about it and he could feel it. Instead of dropping lots of question and maybe end up ruining their date, Gulf did finish his meal just like older.