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Spencer's (Usually) A Good Boy

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    Aaron knew something was off, Derek picked up on it too. For the past two weeks Spencer had been distant, he hadn't spent the night at either of their houses and was quiet during cases, unless prompted. He hadn't been intimate with either of them and said he needed to work on projects when they had a free weekend. Aaron was still spending time with Derek, but it felt wrong without their young lover, he was definitely the glue in their relationship. Sexually, Hotch and Morgan werent compatible, their shared experiences with Spencer, heated kisses, and a few handjobs here and there was as far as their intimacy went. They love one another, but their relationship wouldn't function without the young genius. The past two weeks had made it clear just HOW bad they needed him. 

    Aaron knew he had to do something, whether they upset Spencer or he was struggling with something personally, he couldn't continue to let their beloved pet isolate himself any further. It was friday and they didn't have a case, Spencer had finished his work early and asked if he could go home, claiming to have a headache. Aaron approved the request, watching his young lover leave immediately without another word, not even saying goodbye to Derek. Hotch wasnt surprised when Derek knocked on his door before stepping in, being sure to close the door behind him. 

    "You let him leave early? I thought we were gonna try to get him home with us tonight? I miss the kid." Derek sounded defeated. 

    "I know Derek, me too. We can't force him though. I'm not going to ignore it any longer, I plan to go to his apartment tonight to talk. I think it's better if I go alone." 

    Derek nodded and agreed, leaving to resume the paperwork he still had to complete. 


           +-+-+-+-+ Several Hours Later +-+-+-+-+

    It was now 7:30pm, Derek had already head out to one of his properties he was restoring and Aaron was hurrying to leave, he had stayed later than he meant to. He had texted Spencer a few times, never receiving any response, his heart was aching with worry.

    He made it to Spencer's apartment in record time, breaking a few traffic laws in the process. He knocked on the door and received no response, surely Spencer would be home right? He knocked a little harder.

    "Spencer? Baby? Its Aaron, I need to talk to you." The silence in response tugged at his heart. Something was wrong, he could feel it. He used his spare key to gently unlock and open the door, stepping in and closing it behind himself. He was rarely at Spencer's place, but it looked about the same as last, still cluttered with books and papers. He took a few steps in when he heard that the shower was running, before he could head towards the bathroom, something caught his eye on the kitchen counter. He looked closer to see a clear vial by the sink, still filled with some medicine, his heart started beating against his chest. He took a few steps towards it, lifting it and feeling a coldness take over him as he read the label. 

    "Dilaudid.. damnit Spencer." He muttered to himself, closing his eyes and taking a few deep breaths. He felt overwhelming grief, how long had Spencer been using again without telling them? Both he and Derek were aware of Reids addiction after Hankle, including the meetings he supposedly still attended. He hated talking about it with them, so they never brought it up. He knew he should call Derek and tell him to come over immediately, but he felt anger wash over him at how heartbroken his dark skinned lover would be when hearing that Reid was abusing himself again. Spencer had promised them he would go to them if he felt himself slipping within his sobriety, but obviously he had lied. 

    He held the vial tightly, trying to contain his tears as he become enraged with Spencer for doing this to himself instead of confiding in either of his lovers. He wanted to smack his boy across the face and shake him till he understood how bad he fucked up. This was going to tear Derek apart, possibly even more than it was to Aaron in the moment. He let his tears go as he realized hed have to be the one to break his dominant lovers heart with the news. He lifted his head when he heard the shower turn off and some commotion in the bathroom. He quickly composed himself, sitting on the couch in Spencer's living room, waiting to face his clearly broken down lover. Spencer emerged in a pair of sweatpants and socks, but no shirt. He stopped in his tracks and gasped when he caught sight of Aaron, startled at first, but then confused. 

    "Aaron..? What are you doing here?" He asked nervously, curling his arms around his midriff and shifting in a not-so-subtle way to hide the kitchen from Aaron's view, unaware that his secret was already discovered.

    "I was worried. Derek and I both are. We love you, you know?" Aaron's voice was cold, a surprising lack of emotion for the words being said. 

    "I know..?" Spencer was shifting slightly from side to side, tapping his fingers on his sides.

    "Then how could you?" His voice went from cold to angry. 

    "Do what? Aaron, what's wrong?" Spencer tried to subtly glance behind himself to see if he had left the vial out, silently praying he had hidden it before showering. 

    "You damn well know what, Spencer! How the fuck could you?!" He stood up, aggressively taking a step towards Spencer, who backed away fearfully. 

    "I-I-I.." Spencer stammered, he didn't know what to say and was scared of exposing himself. 

    "That's the best you can do!? Stop your stammering and use that big brain of yours to give me a real answer, damnit!" Hotch's voice only got harder and louder, not faltering when Spencer flinched. Spencer had backed himself against the kitchens island counter, panic in his eyes. It was evident Spencer wouldn't be talking unless he made this easier. He held out the vial in front of Spencers face, watching devastation fill the young man's eyes. 

    "No no no, it's not what you think, Aaron!" Spencer's eyes filled with tears he was desperately trying to contain.

    "Really? Because right now I'm thinking that my junkie boyfriend decided to relapse instead of talking to either of his TWO PARTNERS!!" Aaron's eyes turned dark as he reached past Spencer to slam the vial on the counter, surprised it didnt shatter. 

    "I-no Aaron please. I'm sorry!" Spencer needed a minute to sort through his thoughts, to explain that he hadnt relapsed, he'd had that vial for months, but not once had he used it. Yes, he was struggling with cravings lately and that evening he had been staring down that vial before deciding to shower and clear his head. The word 'Junkie' from his lovers mouth hit him like a stab in the heart, he always feared that's how they would view him if he talked about his struggles with addiction.

    "No Spencer, DO YOU KNOW WHAT IT FELT LIKE TO SEE THAT POISON IN YOUR KITCHEN!??" He slapped Spencer across the face before he could answer, watching tears stream down his young lovers face as he brought up his hand to his stinging cheek.

    "It felt like THAT, REID! A FUCKING SLAP TO THE FACE! You're lucky I don't beat you till you feel the same way I do RIGHT NOW! This shit is fucking disgusting Spencer! YOU are disgusting for using it!" Aaron grabbed Spencer's chin, forcing him to look at him while he screamed his rage. 

    "Please A-Aaron let me explain, Im sorry, please.. I-I'm not a j-j-junkie please beleive me!" Spencer stuttered out his words despite his fear and that pain in his face, Aaron's grip on his chin making it difficult to speak. 

    "Shut the fuck up, Spencer. Nothing you say will fix this, it's too broken now. You obviously care more about that damn drug than me or Derek. You ARE a JUNKIE SPENCER! You've broken my heart, and it'll break Derek's too when I tell him how fucking broken you are!" Hotchs words were filled with a venom that felt like it was eating away at Spencer's heart. Spencer was openly sobbing now, trying to control his breathing, he couldn't let this end till he told Aaron he never took any, he would never do that to them. 

    "No no no no no-" He couldn't think long enough to say anything but that, shaking his head aggressively, tears pouring down his face, barely keeping his knees from failing and falling to the floor. 

    "Yes Spencer! If you think I'm putting up with this, you're CRAZY!" He screamed as he roughly yanked his hand off Spencers jaw, watching something flash in his lovers eyes, but he wasnt sure what. Just like that, Spencer collapsed before him, laying on the floor with his hands gripping his hair, sobbing and struggling to breathe. Aaron stared down at his broken down lover, his heart was throbbing with worry and hurt, but he still felt infuriated that Spencer did this to himself and his lovers. He imagined having to tell Derek again and felt a whole new wave of anger run through him.

    "Yeah.. you fucking cry. YOU did this to yourself, to us. If getting high means that much to you, dont let me get in the way. I'll leave so you can shoot up again." He turned to leave, unable to even look at his shaking and crying lover anymore. He felt a weak hand grip his ankle and he looked back down, Reid was hiding his face as sobs wracked through his small frame. 

    "P-please Aaron, don't leave me. Let me e-explain." He was barely whispering, looking up to meet Aaron's cold and hateful eyes, he felt like he'd rather die then see Aaron look at him like that. 

    "I dont want your explanation. Let go of me." He shook his leg before storming out the front door, slamming it behind him, running out of the building before he could turn around and take it back, Spencer didnt deserve his love right now. He got in his car and broke down, finally letting his tears fall as anguish took over his mind and heart. He pulled out of the parking lot once he got himself under control and headed to Derek's house.

    Spencer flinched as the door slammed, Aaron had left him on the floor, sobbing and struggling to breathe because he believed he'd relapse. Aaron's hateful words ran through his head over and over. 

    "God, maybe I am a disgusting junkie, destined to eventually relapse. Why else would I have kept that vial?" Spencer thought to himself. He stood up despite his difficulty to breathe. He stared at the vial on his counter, he hated that drug, but he hated himself even more right now. How could he keep that? It didn't matter that he never relapsed, he kept his personal poison within arms reach as a backup, he started to feel sick. He grabbed the vial before bolting to the bathroom, barely making it before vomiting into the toilet until he was just dry heaving over the bowl.

    Aaron hated him and soon Derek would too. He had nothing to live for without them. He looked at the vial in his hand, feeling nothing but anger and pain swallowing him, he smashed it on the ground, paying no mind to the sharp pain he felt in his hand or the blood now on the floor. He felt light headed and exhausted, he collapsed onto the floor overtop the broken glass, he drifted off to the feeling of a sharp pain in his side, finally silencing the echo of Aaron's words in his head.


    Derek sat there with his head in his hands, trying to process everything Aaron just told him. Aaron sat across from him, clearly exhausted. 

    "You're sure he was using?" Derek asked desperately, looking up at Hotch.

    "He had a vial of dilaudid sitting on the counter, what else was he doing with it? Having a staring contest?" Aaron shot back, annoyed.

    "Well... yeah actually. He hasn't shown any signs of being high or withdrawal. Hes been distant, but hes not had any of the signs that he's using, Hotch. We would have known." He replied, searching Aaron's face for emotion. 

    "Well no, but it was out Derek, he had to of shot up." Aaron sighed long and hard.

    "Did you see a syringe? Was the vial full? Come on Aaron, think!" 

    "Uh.. uh I didnt see a syringe, but he could have brought that to the bathroom.. the vial? Uh I guess it was full, but it was probably a new bottle.." Aaron rubbed a hand over his face, trying to recall the fight he had with Spencer, he'd never seen the young man look so broken. 

    "Hotch! He might have kept a vial of dilaudid, but that doesn't mean he relapsed, hes probably been struggling with cravings, that's why he's been withdrawn. What did he say when you called him out?" 

    "Um.. he just kept saying no I think? He kept saying please maybe?" Hotch replied. 

    "Why do you sound so unsure of what he said?" Derek asked angrily. 

    "To be honest, he begged me to let him explain, but I didnt want to hear about what drove him to use again. I just wanted to make him understand how hurt I was." Aaron's face suddenly become one of intense guilt as something dawned on him.

    "Aaron.. how did you make him understand?" Derek asked hesitantly.

    "I.. I slapped him. I told him that's what it felt like to see that vial. God I was just angry with him and he wouldnt stop crying. I think I called him a junkie." Aaron avoided looking Derek in the eyes, he knew he fucked up. 

    "Aaron.. you slapped him and called him a junkie for battling an addiction, AN ADDICTION HE'S BEEN TOO SCARED TO REALLY TALK TO US ABOUT! Damnit Hotch we need to get to Spence, NOW! Is the vial in your car, I want to see if he really did use any?" Derek paused when Aaron looked at him confused before dropping his face into his hands.

    "Where is the vial, Aaron?" Derek asked seriously.

    "I left it with him.. I told him I wouldn't get in the way if getting high was more important than us." Aaron stood up, heading for the front door, refusing to meet Derek's gaze. Derek huffed and followed Aaron out to his car. He pulled out his phone and tried calling Spencer, but got his voicemail.

    "Fucking step on it Aaron, we need to get to him!" Derek cried out. 


    They got to Spencers apartment only a few minutes later, rushing through lights. When they arrived, they darted up the steps to his apartment, they didnt bother knocking as they burst through the front door which was still unlocked. Stepping in, Aaron immediately looked to where he had left the vial, but it was gone, as was Spencer. 

    "Spencer, baby? It's me and Aaron, are you here?" Derek called out, but they didn't get a response. They both headed towards the bedroom, silently praying their boy would be sleeping. Walking by the open bathroom, Derek stopped and gasped, seeing his young lover unconcious on the floor, blood smeared around him.

    "Oh god, Spencer! Baby what happened?!" He rushed in, noting the smell of medicine and the broken glass. Blood was running from Spencers hand where glass was still stuck inside. He kneeled by Spencer, gently turning him over, wincing at the sight of blood and glass over his side, he clearly collapsed onto the glass from the broken vial. Derek didn't see a syringe anywhere or any marks on the crook of his elbow. Aaron ran to the kitchen, wetting a rag and grabbing the first aid kit Reid had under the kitchen sink. 

    Derek sighed in relief at the rise and fall of Spencer's chest. He gently lifted him so he was sitting, his head falling back onto the edge of the tub. The toilet was filled with vomit, he quickly flushed it, hoping to rid the room of the sick smell. Aaron handed Morgan the materials he acquired from the kitchen, they closed to toilet lid and set everything on top of it. 

    "Spencer? Can you open your eyes for me baby?" Derek asked as he lightly tapped Spencer's face. Spencer's eyes scrunched closed tighter, he released a quiet pained whimper. 

    "Spencer! Baby please look at me!" Derek called again, taking hold of his boys uninjured hand. Spencer hesitantly opened his eyes, then immediately broke into tears. Aaron grabbed the rag and some tweezers before kneeling on the injured side of Spencer. 

    "M'sorry, didnt use..promise." Spencer looked over at Aaron with hurt in his eyes which were still swimming with tears. He reached his hand towards Aaron's face before wincing and looking at the blood and glass in his palm. 

    "Please Aaron, dont leave me again. Cant do this without you. I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry im-" Spencer was cut off by Aaron kissing him gently.

    "Shh my love, I didnt mean what I said to you. I love you, I'm not leaving you, Derek and I are going to help you. I'm so sorry, Angel." Aaron leaned his forehead against Spencers. Spencer cried harder and leaned his head back against the tub.

    "Everything hurts.." Spencer spoke so softly he wasnt even sure they heard him.

    "I know baby, I need to get the glass out of your hand and clean it, can I do that?" Aaron asked, taking Spencer's small nod as the best he'd be able to get. Derek gripped his boys uninjured hand tighter, leaning forward to kiss spencer on the cheek and then nose, frowning when he didnt get any acknowledgement from Reid. 

    Aaron gently held Reids wrist and twisted his hand so it was palm up, there wasnt as much glass as he worried, but one larger piece was in fairly deep, that was the main source of blood. Spencer whined as Aaron manipulated his hand into a good position to remove the glass. Aaron held the tweezers above the glass, ready to grab it and pull. 

    "Derek, distract him, please." Aaron spoke. Derek nodded and turned Spencer's face towards him, kissing him. Aaron grabbed the glass and began gently pulling it from his lovers hand, watching small trickles of blood come out with it. Spencer broke away from Derek with a cry. He didn't say a word though and clamped his mouth shut, muffling his whimpers. With the glass completely out, Aaron released a sigh, he swiftly pulled out the small pieces that were on the surface of his palm, getting small flinches and muffled whines from Spencer. With all the glass gone, Aaron wiped down his hand with the rag and applied antibacterial cream on the cuts.

    He wrapped his lovers palm in bandage and made sure it was secure before looking over Spencer's side. Derek kept hold of Spencers hand, murmuring praise to his baby, but not recieving any response from the genius. Aaron removed the few pieces of glass from his side and cleaned up the shallow cuts, taping a bandage to those as well. No longer being distracted by anger or fear, Aaron actually took a look at Spencer's top half. Neither Morgan or Hotch had seen Spencer without his layers on in over 2 weeks, the change was shocking. 

    Derek seemed to notice it at the same time, his praise to Spencer being halted as he noticed his partners more pronounced ribs pop out with each inhale. His stomach was a little more concave rather than flat, he honestly looked as if he'd basically starved himself the past two weeks. After thinking about it, Derek hadn't seen Spencer eat a real meal in awhile. They had been busy with a short, but intense case and with how distant Reid had been, neither of the dominants were aware that he hadn't been eating barely at all. Aaron had the same train if though run through his head as Morgan. Spencer never opened up about his cravings, but Hotch assumed he was starving himself to redirect his cravings from Dilaudid, to food. 

    Spencer finally opened his eyes and looked at his two lovers kneeling by him. His two lovers who just cleaned him of his own blood and glass from a broken vial of his personal poison. Aaron's words flooded his mind again, he was right, he was a junkie and he was burdening his lovers. 

    "Leave." Spencer whispered, tears fighting to his eyes again. 

    "What?" Derek asked, shocked.

    "Leave, both of you. Neither of you deserve a junkie boyfriend destined to relapse." He began to stand, fighting through the dizziness so he could move to his bedroom. Aaron hissed at Reids words, catching a glare from Morgan as well. He knew he fucked up with what he had said to Spencer, but he didnt realize Reid would hold on to it even after Aaron just patched him up.

    "Angel, you arent a junkie, you're a recovering addict who had a hiccup, but you didn't relapse and I'm so proud of you." Aaron spoke softly, it reminded Spencer of the voice Aaron reserved for victims.

    "And I now know that when I eventually relapse, I'll lose you." Reid replied, he wasnt trying to be hateful or hurt Aaron, he was speaking his truth. Aaron thought he relapsed and his response was hate and a smack across the face, Spencer swore he could still feel a phantom sting from his lovers harsh hand. 

    "How I reacted was wrong, but even if you really had relapsed, I would have come right back here like I did, the entire way here I was terrified you had overdosed while I was gone and it would have been my fault." Aaron's throat was tight from held back tears and it could be heard in his strained and sad voice.

    "I smashed the vial, that's why it cut me. Even though I didnt use it, it cost me the two loves of my life. Part of me wanted to shoot up like you told me to, I wanted the pain and the thoughts to stop." Spencer kept his head down, refusing to look at Aaron, or Derek who he knew was silently crying. 

    Aaron took a step towards Spencer and raised his arm to push the hair out of Reids forehead, but stopped when he saw Spencer flinch at the movement. Reid had NEVER flinched away from him since they started dating, but now he was, because he slapped his lover while he was hurting. He continued the movement of his hand, watching Spencer purposely not react again. He brushed his hair back and leaned forward to place his lips against Spencer's forehead, staying like that for a few seconds.

    "I'm so sorry Spencer. If you had used, I never would have forgiven myself. You never really lost either of us and you never will." Aaron whispered to his crying lover, but he was afraid the words weren't really reaching him. 

    "Kid, we love you, you're our soulmate, addiction or not." Derek choked out from behind Aaron.

    "No. I can't go through that again. I'm so sorry. I wish I had overdosed." The last sentence was so quiet, Spencer was sure his lovers didnt hear him, but Aaron did. 

    "Don't you ever say that again Spencer. How could we live on without you? We couldn't, we would be miserable without you. I'd rather help you battle addiction everyday than lose you." Aaron's voice was starting to sound hysterical, he moved to place his hands on Spencer's shoulders, but he avoided the contact. Spencer grabbed Aaron's hand and put it around his wrapped one. He positioned it so Aaron's thumb was on his palm, Aaron gave him a questioning look before Spencer forced his thumb to stab into his covered wound, making blood appear on the bandage.

    "SPENCER STOP! Let go of my hand, you're hurting yourself!" Aaron tried to yank his hand away, watching blood bloom across the bandage as Spencer applied more pressure over Hotchs thumb. 

    "Fucking cut it out! BABY STOP!" Aaron was frantically yelling, he finally got his hand out of Spencer's grip and stepped away from him, Spencer's eyes were glazed over as he sat on the bed, staring at his bloodied and bandaged palm. Derek sat next to him, taking his injured hand and kissing it. 

    "Pretty boy, why would you do that?" Derek asked quietly, masking his panic. 

    "Its what my heart feels like. The pain wont stop. I cant get the words out of my head, he hates me. I'm disgusting, I'm a junkie, I'm crazy." Spencer's eyes were still glazed as he spoke about Aaron's words as if he wasnt in the room. Derek shot Aaron a death glare and tilted his head towards the door, a silent command to get the fuck away from their boy. Aaron didnt challenge him, he walked out and sat on the sofa in the living room with his face in his hands. 

    "Look at me Spencer, theres my boy.. Did Aaron say those things to you? Did he call you disgusting?" Derek couldn't even imagine such horrible things being said to his boy by Aaron. Spencer cried and nodded, his chestnut brown curls toppling into his eyes.

    "He didn't mean it baby. He was scared, so scared that we'd lost you. When he came to me he was devastated and worried. He didnt handle it well, but all if it was out of fear. Okay?" Spencer looked at him with confusion, like he couldn't understand what was being said to him.

    "Are you understanding what I'm saying?" Derek asked worriedly. Spencer just maintained the same confused look. 

    "Spencer? Aaron loves you, neither of us are leaving you." Spencer blinked a few times before properly looking into Derek's hurting eyes. 

    "A-Aaron loves me. Neither of you are leaving me." He repeated it back to Derek like he had read a script.

    "Yes, Spencer. I love you too, I swear to God we will be right there with you through everything." He pulled Spencer into a gentle kiss. Spencer pulled away after a moment, something still wasnt right in his eyes. He stood up and moved almost robotically to the living room. He stopped walking and stood in front of Aaron who had looked up at the soft sound of Spencer patting towards him. 

    "Spence, sweetheart.. I cant fix what I did, but I'm sorry. I didn't mean a single word of what I said, you're so strong." Aaron let tears fall down his face, he wasnt going to emotionally close off from Spencer right now. Spencer didn't reply, he moved closer and put his hands on Aaron's shoulders, ignoring the pain in his cut palm. He pushed Aaron back against the couch and slowly moved on top of him, he was straddling the unit chief, but it obviously wasn't about sex. His knees on either side of his legs, his butt resting on Aaron's legs.

    Spencer took Aaron's hand and put it against his bare chest, over his heart. Hotch could feel the strong and fast heartbeat beneath his lovers chest. It was all he needed to finally breathe normal, his young lover was alive and in his lap, looking at him with hurt that he caused. Spencer finally released a painful cry, falling forward and burying his face in Aaron's neck, letting his sobs run through him. He didnt want to lose Aaron, but if he was going to, he needed to be held at least one last time. Aaron wrapped his arms around Spencer, stroking his back, trying not to wince at the feel of each vertebrae in his thin lovers spine. Reid was much lighter on his lap than normal, just how much weight had he lost? 

    Derek stood against the wall, watching Spencer sob into Aaron, the man who caused him that pain to begin with. He wanted to hold Spencer, but he knew it had to be Hotch in the moment. 

    After 20 minutes of sobs wracking through the skinny man, he seemed to calm down, Aaron expected him to pull back so they could really talk, but instead he felt Spencer completely go limp on him, he'd cried himself to sleep on Aaron's lap. He continued stroking his back and occasionally turning his head to kiss his loves temple. Derek finally sat down, opposite of Aaron. 

    "I can see his spine Aaron, I mean we always could, but now it sticks out. How could we not notice, hes fucking starved." Derek sighed. 

    "He wore layers, we've been busy and he's avoided intimacy, theres no way we could have known. He feels so light and cold. We need to get him to eat when he wakes up, we should get soup from that cafe he likes." Aaron replied simply.

    "I'm pissed at you, Hotch. The things you said to him... We won't be able to erase those words from his head. I don't have a clue how to help him when he wakes up." Derek glared at Aaron.

    "I'm pissed at myself. I can see a small red mark on his face, I think I bruised him when I hit him. I was so hurt and angry, I didn't even let him explain it to me. I left him crying on the floor alone with Dilaudid." Aaron tried to prevent the words from getting stuck in his throat. 

    "It's going to take a lot of work, we cant leave him alone for awhile though, you know? We should always plan for him to stay with either of us or both till hes well." Derek stated, leaving no room for argument. 

    "I agree completely, whatevers best for Spencer, we need to help him gain that weight back, he was underweight to begin with." Aaron replied. 

    "We'll help him. This is going to take a lot of work to fix, Aaron. I hope we can wash away the doubts he now has." Derek said solemnly.

    "Everytime I think about what I said to him I feel sick. It's even worse when I think about how he felt hearing those words. I broke his heart, I don't deserve to be holding him right now." Aaron said, looking down at the broken man in his arms.

    "But you are holding him, he needs all of you right now, he needs confirmation that you won't walk away again." Derek's voice had a slight bite to it, but Aaron knew he deserved it. 

    Their conversation was halted by Spencer shifting in Aaron's lap. The boy exhaled loudly before burying his face further into Aaron's neck, breathing in his scent. He seemed to go still again, though Aaron could feel the slight tickle of Reids eyelashes from him blinking. Knowing his love was now awake, he replied to Derek with full honesty, straight from his heart. 

    "He has a right to be scared that I'll walk out. I left when he needed me because I didn't know how to handle one of my greatest loves hurting himself. Derek, I promise you and Spencer, I'll spend the rest of my life proving to you both that I'll never walk away again." Aaron gently nuzzled the top of Spencer's head with with his face, kissing his soft locks of hair. Reid slowly pushed himself up so he was looking at Aaron, his face was splotchy and his eyes were puffy from crying. 

    "You mean it?" Spencer asked quietly. 

    "With my entire heart, my love." Aaron replied, capturing Reids lips in a tender kiss.

    "Spence..." Derek started, but he wasnt sure how to continue. Spencer turned his head, seeing his dark skinned lover was clearly hurting. He stood from Aaron's lap and moved over to Derek, whose eyes watched him closely. Spencer gently sat his butt down on Derek's lap, draping his legs off the side of the armrest. 

    "Derek.." Spencer said, kissing his lover deeply.

  "You've lost a lot of weight." Derek said hesitantly.

    "I know. Hunger took my mind off the cravings. I was going to tell you guys, I just wanted to handle it alone, like before, but I'm not alone. I now know my logic was flawed, I wont do it again." Spencer stated simply, briefly glancing at Aaron. 

    "You need food. Will you be okay if I leave to pick us up a late dinner? Derek and I thought you would like your favorite soup from that cafe?" Aaron asked, hoping Reid would agree to a meal. Spencer seemed hesitant for a moment before whispering.

    "You'll come back? You'll come back, with food?" Reid asked, clearly unsure. 

    "Of course I'll come back. I'll hurry home, I've missed you." Aaron said, stepping towards Spencer and bending down to kiss his head before ruffling his curls. 

    "Okay, be safe Aaron.. I love you." He replied, taking comfort in Derek's warm and strong chest grounding him. 

    "I love you more, baby. I love you too, Derek, can I get a kiss before I leave?" Aaron asked, hoping his lover wouldn't turn him down. Derek was quiet for a short moment before nodding, prompting Aaron to lean forward for a chaste kiss, but was shocked when Derek kissed back with more passion. Aaron pulled away for air, smiling at his dominant lover. 

    "You hurry back, Aaron. Get me a hot sandwich by the way." Aaron chuckled at Derek's light tone. He gave Spencer a peck on the lips before heading out to get dinner. 

    Spencer was happy to simply snuggle up in Derek's lap, but apparently his lover had other plans.

    "I need to change the bandage on your hand, then we can resume this cuddle session, pretty boy." He laughed, urging a grumbling Spencer to stand up. He led Spencer to the bathroom where he unwrapped, cleaned, and rewrapped his hand, kissing him apologetically whenever he winced in pain.

    "You take such good care of me, Derek Morgan." Spencer grinned, gazing at Derek with pure love. Morgan was sure that if Reid was a cartoon character, he'd have hearts for eyes in that moment. He settled back into the armchair, pulling Spencer back onto him, smiling at his lovers giggles that he missed oh-so-much. 

    "I'll always take care of you, like how you take care of me and Aaron. Aaron really does regret what he said to you, he didnt mean a word of it. I believe him when he says he'll spend the rest of his life proving that." Derek said, still smiling at Spencer. Spencer smiled in response.

    "I think I believe him too." Spencer replied.

    "You think?"

    "Yeah. It'll take awhile, but eventually I'll know for sure again." Spencer stated.

    "I'll give him a hard time for you, kid." Derek laughed.

    "Don't, he'll beat himself up worse than either of us could. He feels like I broke his trust, which I did, I kept that vial from you both. I hid my cravings which got us into this mess." Spencer's voice was laced with guilt.

    "This was a hiccup for us all, I'll admit, especially for you and Hotch. It'll take a little while to heal, but we will together. Don't shut us out again, baby." Derek said, leaning his head on the top of Spencer's.

    "I won't, I promise." 

    Nothing else was said before Aaron returned, Spencer and Derek just cherished the time in each others embrace, awaiting their lover to arrive with soup and sandwiches.

    Aaron rushed back to his lovers, way too much food in his hands and a to go cup of a decaf caramel latte for Spencer. 

    "I'm back with food and a latte for a certain genius!"  He called as he walked into the apartment. Spencer perked up and flew off Derek's lap to greet Aaron. Derek stood and followed with an eyebrow cocked up.

    "You got him coffee? He needs to sleep tonight.." Derek grumbled, watching Spencer snatch the latte from Aaron with a cute smile and blush on his cheeks. 

    "Its decaf, just a little treat for our good boy." Aaron replied, staring at his young lover with adoration. They made their way to the living room and sat on the couch with all the food laid out on the coffee table. Derek grabbed a couple beers for him and Aaron and a glass of water for Spencer. 

    Spencer look his first sip of the caramel drink and closed his eyes as he released a simply orgasmic sound, throwing his head back. He opened his eyes to see his two dominant lovers staring at him with their mouths agape.

    "...What?" Spencer asked, glaring at his lovers. They simply nodded and laughed, sitting next to him. Aaron handed Spencer his favorite soup and Derek a toasted roast beef sandwich. Aaron settled in with his own grilled chicken sandwich. He pulled out some coffee cake and set it in front of Spencer, watching his eyes light up. The young genius immediately reached for the coffee cake.

    "Ah ah! Finish your soup and then you can have some cake, my love." Aaron said, gently batting Reids hand. Spencer blushed and fidgeted with his hand before leaning back to focus on his soup, smelling it and licking his lips. He loudly slurped some soup from his spoon before noticing the slightly annoyed glances he was getting from his older partners.

    "Sorry.. it's really good, thank you Aaron!" He smiled brightly, watching their faces of annoyance turn to something light and happy. They all got comfortable, Reid with his back leaning on Derek's side and his legs over Aaron's lap, a pillow on top his knees holding Hotchs sandwich on top. They ate in silence before Hotch and Morgan heard their boy snicker to himself. 

    "What's got you laughing, pretty boy?" Derek asked, taking another bite of roast beef. 

    "I was just thinking, if I refused to put out, which one of you would be the bottom?" He asked simply, slurping more soup. Derek choked on his beef and Aaron almost spewed his beer. Reid stifled a laugh in response to their reaction. 

    "Reid, the sexual aspect of our relationship works only because Derek and I share your gorgeous ass." Aaron said, smiling at the flush that made it's way down Spencer's neck.

    "Hmmm, what if I wanted to try topping?" Spencer asked. Derek and Aaron stared at him with wide and nervous eyes.

    "Do you... want to try.. uh.. topping one of us?" Derek asked Spencer hesitantly. 

    "Mmm, I don't really get aroused by the thought, just a question. I have a more powerful orgasm when being stimulated from the inside." Spencer purred, slightly squirming. His dominant partners burst out laughing at their young lovers words and tone.

    "Way to find a smart way of saying you like it up the ass, kid." Derek laughed, trying not to choke on his sandwich again. Aaron smiled and shook his head. 

    "Although... it would be nice to get head every now and then." Spencer said, not meeting his partners eyes. Aaron finished his sandwich and shared a heated look with Derek who crammed his last bite in his mouth. 

    "You wanna get sucked off, baby?" Aaron asked, moving the pillow off of Spencer's knees to stroke up and down his leg. 

    "You've done it to me once and Derek's done it twice. I've sucked you off 167 times and Derek 189 times." Spencer replied. 

    "Damn, how come you've given head to Derek 22 more times than you have me?" Aaron asked with a dark grin. Derek laughed harder and smiled at Aaron with a smug look on his face.

  "The was hardly my point." Spencer laughed. 

    "Hmm I guess I do owe you a pretty fantastic blowjob then, huh baby?" Aaron asked.

    "Uh.. only if you uhh wanted to, I guess.." Spencer was proud of himself for not stammering on his words, suddenly nervous and quickly becoming aroused at the thought. He had only received oral sex 3 times, to say it was rare for him was an understatement. He was fairly sure neither of his lovers had much interest in sucking someone off, whereas Spencer rather enjoyed getting his masters off with his mouth, it made him feel proud and unbelievably hard.

    "Do you want me to get you off with my mouth, Spencer?" Aaron asked, staring into Spencer's now nervous eyes. Derek shifted so that Reids back was against his chest, he moved his arms around Reid to gently stroke over his chest and kiss the back of his neck.

    "Uh.. uh.." Reid felt like his brain just short circuited at the question.

    "Use your words, baby." Aaron said, reaching for the drawstring on his lovers pants. 

    "Ahhnn.. yes yes please Aaron." Spencer moaned at the feeling of Derek sucking at his neck, lightly nipping before moving to mark his shoulder and back. Aaron pulled down his lovers sweatpants, freeing his hard member. Reid whined at the feeling, he was panting in anticipation and the feeling of Derek's mouth all over his shoulders, neck, and back, his hands running over his chest. 

    "Shh baby, gonna make you feel good, you're such a good boy, I love you so much, angel." Aaron murmured, before licking from his base to his head, cleaning off the bead of precum. Spencer whined and bucked his hips, desperate for more. Aaron held his hips down, taking Spencer into his mouth and slowly moving down until he hit his throat, moving back up to suck at his head.

    "Mmm Ahn god Aaron! So good, ohhh!" Spencer was releasing loud whines and pleasured whimpers, throwing his head back against Derek. Derek pinched his boys nipples while sucking a dark mark onto the junction between Spencer's neck and shoulder. Derek bit the mark hard, making Spencer cry out before he licked over it and gave a gentle kiss, moving up reids neck and licking his jaw. 

    Aaron started pumping what he couldnt take in his mouth, he couldn't deepthroat like Spencer can and his young lover is a good six inches with a moderate girth. Spencer keened at the warmth surrounding his member, the suction had him crying out in pleasure. 

    "Ah ah god so good so hot, gonna cum!" Reid whined out, praying he'd be granted permission. 

    "Cum for us baby, show Aaron how good he's making you feel." Derek whispered in a husky tone. Spencer whined louder, feeling himself right on the edge. Aaron pumped him faster and applied more pressure with his mouth, paying extra attention to his head, savoring the moans he was pulling out of the small man.

    "AHN! GOD AARON, IM CUMMING!" Spencer cried out his release, feeling heat wash through him and his balls tightened as his muscles spasmed, he threw his head back and let himself feel all the pleasure Aaron was giving him. He came long and hard in Aaron's mouth, who recoiled slightly before fighting to swallow it, but when he pulled off most of his lovers seed spilled out of his mouth. Reid went limp against Derek panting, his skin was hot and his face was bright red. He looked completely fucked out.

    Aaron started cleaning him up, neatly tucking his member away into his boxers and pulling up his sweatpants. Derek maneuvered him so that their young lover was resting his head on Derek's lap. Aaron brushed his teeth and returned, giving Derek a chaste kiss before cleaning up the trash from their dinner. He went to take the coffee cake to the fridge, getting a whine from Spencer who was suddenly paying attention. 

    "Do you want the coffee cake now, honey?" Aaron asked as Derek stroked their boys hair. 

    "Mmmhmm" Spencer nodded his head, sitting up and snuggling into Derek's side, curling his legs up to himself. Aaron chuckled and passed Spencer the cake with a spoon. Spencer immediately took a bite, moaning in delight. 

    "Careful with those noises baby, I'm trying to CALM DOWN my erection." Derek said, laughing at Spencer's reddened cheeks. 

    "Cant help it.. tastes soooo good." Spencer replied, smiling and releasing a dramatized moan around his next bite, earning loud laughs from both of his lovers. 

    "Mmm I will pay you guys back for that later though." Spencer said, smiling as Aaron sat next to him, resting his hand on Reids ankle. 

    "You owe us nothing, my love. You deserve to be treated more often. You're our perfect, amazing, brilliant boy!" Aaron said, smiling at his adored genius. 

    "You guys are so good to me. I guess I owe you 22 blowjobs before I can suck off Derek again!" Spencer snickered, Aaron laughed at Derek's dramatic expression of betrayal. 

    "Hell no pretty boy! Unless you plan to suck him 22 times in a day, I'm not waiting that long to use that perfect mouth of yours." Derek purred in Spencers ear. 

    "Hey dont use that voice while I'm trying to enjoy this delicious coffee cake. After this, I'm sleeping ALL NIGHT and then we'll talk about you using this mouth." Spencer said, shoveling more cake into his mouth. 

    Aaron and Derek laughed, both cherishing the sound of their lover joking with them. The day had been emotional and damaging, but it was moments like this that reminded them of just how lucky they were to have each other. Spencer dramatically ate his cake, continuing to occasionally moan around particularly good mouthfulls. Derek rested his head on to of Spencers, not-so-subtly trying to smell his boys shampoo. Aaron rubbed Spencer's leg, leaning his head back to rest his eyes, letting the exhaustion from the day take over. Aaron felt himself drift off to the sound of Spencer happily humming as he ate and Derek's breathing. 

    Spencer finished his cake, setting the container on the coffee table and putting his legs down, gently pulling a certain unit chief who was in a deep sleep onto his lap. He loved having Aaron's head on his lap as he slept, he rarely saw him so vulnerable. He ran his long, slender fingers through Aaron's short hair as he leaned further into Derek, letting his eyes close to finally sleep. Derek was the last to let himself give in to his exhaustion, wanting to savor the sound of his lovers even breaths. He let his head gently fall limp against Spencer's. 

    The three of them stayed like that all night. They'd wake up stiff in the morning, but none of them would care because all that mattered was they were safe and loved as they slept cuddled together on Spencer's sofa.