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The Westerosi Race

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Petyr voiceover - Tonight on the Season Finale of The Westerosi Race… 

[Cut to a clip montage of Sansa and Sandor - them arguing in the Westerlands, Sandor’s face turning green as he stares at the bowl of Surströmming in The North and Sansa loading up crackers for him, them riding a camel together in Meereen, swimming together in the underground lake in the Summer Islands, Sandor encouraging Sansa in front of the pit of snakes in Dorne, and both of them laughing while they wrestle in mud in the Andalos Mountains.] 

Sansa and Sandor have certainly progressed from the heated animosity that was first between them at the start of the Race. Now that they’ve seemed to hit a stride in their relationship, can they work together to become the winners of The Westerosi Race?

 

[Cut to clips of Brienne and Tormund - Brienne angrily pushing Tormund down the cheese hill, Brienne slumped in the back of a taxi in the North, shoving Tormund’s hand away as he tries to rub her back, Tormund suffering in the hot taxi while Brienne hands him a bottle of water, Brienne dropping five lobsters over the side of the boat, easily lifting herself up as Tormund looks at her with awe, Tormund and Brienne rowing together in sync on the Torentine River, and them kissing on the soggy ground in the Andalos Mountains.]

Brienne and Tormund have entered into a new tentative romantic relationship, just before the most important leg of the Race, possibly serving as a gigantic distraction. Will that decision come to haunt them as they compete for the title of Season 10 Westerosi Race Winners?

 

[Cut to a clip of Davos waiting on the Pit Stop mat at night, his face unamused as Melisandre walks up to it leisurely, Melisandre standing nude in front of the frozen lake, Davos averting his eyes and sighing, Melisandre entering the Pahl Pyramid easily, emerging quickly and Davos rising to come to her side, Melisandre and Davos floating next to each other on a giant inflatable hotdog and set of boobs in the underground cave, Melisandre smiling at Davos as he joyfully watches the exotic birds in Dorne, and Melisandre waiting patiently for Davos as he struggles to walk up the mountain stairs.]

Davos and Melisandre are our only platonic relationship competing on this last leg, despite being thought of as the weakest teams in the beginning. Will Davos’s continued trust and Melisandre’s innate intuition help them win the Westerosi Race?

 

[Camera cuts to Petyr, walking down a street, tall buildings on either side of him.] 

Petyr - With only these three teams left, stay tuned to find out which one will be the winner of the million dollars cash prize and of The Westerosi Race! 

 

Westerosi Theme Song

 

[Camera cuts to Davos and Melisandre standing on the mat, the morning sky brightening behind them. 

Petyr voiceover - Each team will be departing ten minutes apart based on the order they placed in the previous leg. For this leg of the race, teams will not receive any money, having to rely on their savings from previous legs to make it through. For the third time this season, Melisandre and Davos are the first team to depart.

 

[Davos looks over at Melisandre, smiling as he raises up a yellow envelope in his hand. She gestures for him to go ahead and Davos rips it open, pulling out the papers for both of them to see.]

Davos - Make your way to King’s Landing. 

 

[Camera cuts to an aerial view of a massive city landscape.]

Petyr voiceover - King’s Landing is the most populated city in Westeros, once home to the Iron Throne that was destroyed in the Great Fire of Drogon centuries ago. Over 60 million tourists visit King’s Landing every year to experience the culture and opportunities only a city like this can provide. 

 

[Camera cuts to Petyr standing in front of a large staircase, crowds of people behind and around him.]

Petyr - Teams must now navigate themselves through the crowds and chaos of the city to The Great Sept of Baelor, rebuilt after an accidental explosion destroyed it in 1364. [He gestures behind him.] It’s here, on these legendary steps, where they’ll find their next clue.

[Camera cuts back to the mountains as Davos takes in a deep breath, looking over at Melisandre. She looks unconcerned, lifting her chin up confidently. Davos nods at her.]

Davos - Well, we’ve made it this far. Who knows, we could win the whole thing. [He smiles at her, his face hopeful.]

Melisandre, smiling - What is meant to be will happen. 

[Davos nods, agreeing as he follows Melisandre off the mat. Camera swivels to follow them as they walk towards the stairs down the mountain, Davos looking down at the papers in his hand.]

Davos - Oh, it says here we don’t get any money for this leg. Hmm, I wonder how much we’ve got left.

[He removes one strap of his bag, swinging it forward and reaching into the front pocket, pulling out a wad of cash and some change.]

Melisandre - The Lord of Light will provide however much we need to complete our tasks.

Davos, sighing - Well, the Lord of Light thinks forty-four dollars should do it. [He pauses.] and fifty-three cents. 

 

Sansa’s heart was racing as she walked down the aisle of the plane to her row, brushing her hair out of her face as she shuffled past the empty aisle and middle seat, sitting down next to the window. She smiled to herself, looking down as she buckled her seatbelt around her hips. 

Sandor came up the aisle, nodding to the flight attendant, whose eyes were narrowed in suspicion as he pushed the drink cart. Sandor sat down in the middle seat, his skin flushed and eyes gleaming. 

She looked over at him, trying to contain a smile. “So. I guess you do fit after all.” 

He huffed a laugh as he looked over at her, raising an eyebrow. “You could say I’m fitting into a lot of new places recently.” 

She laughed loudly, covering her mouth as the flight attendant turned around to glare at them. 

“He doesn’t like us very fucking much.” Sandor raised his hand, waving at the flight attendant with a big grin on his face. 

Sansa hissed his name, reaching over and grabbing his hand, pulling it back down. “Well, you weren’t exactly quiet .” 

He laughed, looking over at her with his eyebrows raised. “I couldn’t help it, I didn’t expect you to do that last thing with your tongue.”

Sansa blushed as a man in front of them turned around in his seat, his eyebrows furrowed. Sansa nodded politely at him, smacking Sandor in the arm, mortified. 

Sandor smirked, leaning in close to her, kissing her on the cheek before whispering into her ear. “Now let’s see how quiet you can be.” He turned his shoulders towards her, blocking her body from anyone else’s view as he ran his fingers up her inner thigh, moving to unbuckle her seat belt. 

She grabbed his hand, stopping him as she shook her head.

Sandor furrowed his brows. “We have hours left on this flight and I’m not allowed to touch you?” 

Sansa laughed, bringing her hand up to his cheek and leaning in to kiss him softly on the lips. “You’re allowed, I just think we’re lucky enough to not have been arrested as it is.” 

Sandor pursed his lips, thinking as he narrowed his eyes at her. “What if I covered you up with a blanket?”

She tilted her head, thinking, then shrugged, smiling at him. “Okay, if you get a blanket.” 

Sandor grinned, leaning in to kiss her, humming against her lips before he pulled away. 

She cleared her throat, smiling innocently. “You do realize your new best friend isn’t going to go for this plan, right?” She gestured to the front of the plane with her chin. 

They both looked up at the flight attendant crossing his arms, glaring at them with his lips pursed. 

Sandor sighed, slumping back in his seat. “Fuck.” 

 

- - -

 

[Camera cuts to the steps in front of The Great Sept of Baelor. There is a clue box up at the top by the double doors. A taxi pulls up, Sansa and Sandor exiting with their bags. They run up the stairs, their bags bouncing slightly on their backs, as another taxi pulls up.]

[Camera cuts in close on the clue box as Sandor reaches it, opening the lid and pulling a yellow envelope out. Sansa arrives at his side panting heavily as he rips the clue open, pulling out the papers for her to read.]

Sansa, out of breath - Detour. Coin Haul or Curtain Call.

 

[Camera cuts to an interior shot inside a great circular room, Petyr standing in the middle on a small platform.]

Petyr - The Great Sept of Baelor was once the largest Sept devoted to the Faith of the Seven in King’s Landing, and one of the third-largest in the entire continent of Westeros. After it was rebuilt, it became a unique stage dedicated to one of the city’s greatest cultural passions - Theatre. In the spirit of this magnificent building, teams will be donning costumes as they complete their next Detour. 

[Camera cuts closer to Petyr. There are six bundles of clothing wrapped up in brown paper and twine behind him on a bench, the name of each contestant on top of a pile.]]

Petyr - in ‘Curtain Call’, teams will have to perform a lengthy scene from a local hit play. Teams will be expected to memorize lines and perform the necessary blocking, or precise body movements and positioning, required to correctly portray the characters assigned to them. Once they meet the exacting standards of the local Director, they will be given their next clue. This task is not physically demanding, but teams without a flair for drama..could be cast out of the competition. 

 

[Camera cuts to an exterior city street view.]

Petyr voiceover - Walking down the streets of King’s Landing provides tourists with a direct link to the past that few other places can offer. In ‘Coin Haul’, teams will experience this connection first hand as they traverse across the city, collecting a different coin at specific locations. After they’ve collected all six, they will head to the Red Keep, the castle once home to the Monarchy that used to rule over Westeros, to receive their next clue. This task could take some time, having to combat with traffic and tourists in this large city, but teams who can maneuver themselves through the streets and alleyways quickly..might land heads up in this competition.

[[Director’s cut Outtakes - Petyr drops his plastic smile, turning to look off-camera. “Are we done? I have things to do, fucknut.” We hear mumbling off-camera. Petyr scoffs. “If you must know.. I saw some interesting ..clothes. On the streets of silk. So if you’ll excuse me.” He puts his nose in the air, exiting the frame, not waiting for an answer. Camera swivels to watch him walk towards the door of the Sept, zooming in on his pocket as he pulls out a handful of condoms and an ear of corn.]] 

[Camera cuts back to Sansa and Sandor on the steps of Baelor, Brienne and Tormund running up the stairs in the background.]

Sandor, cringing - Fuck, a costume?

Sansa, excited - A costume!! [She looks up at him, her face beaming.] Oh, this is going to be so fun! 

[Sandor grimaces as he looks down at the paper.]

Sandor, unsure - Sansa, I can’t perform lines from a fucking play. 

[Sansa furrows her brows, leaning close to him to read the paper.] 

[Camera zooms out as Brienne and Tormund arrive at the top of the stairs, running over to the clue box. Tormund opens the lid and Brienne reaches in for the envelope, pulling it out and ripping it open for both of them to read.]

Sansa - Okay, I mean, we have plenty of money to take a taxi to all these places so we can do the coin one if you want to. 

[Sandor nods, his face relieved. Sansa squeals, grabbing his hand as she drags him to the doors of the Sept. Sansa pulls the door open eagerly, pushing Sandor ahead of her as he groans. Camera pans over to Brienne and Tormund.]

Tormund, squealing - A costume?! 

[Brienne sighs.]

 

[Camera cuts to an interior hallway of the Sept. A door opens, Sansa stepping out fully dressed in a period costume. Camera zooms in on Sansa as she walks very purposefully, a serious look on her face.]

 

Sansa, regally - The lone wolf dies but the pack survives.

[Sansa breaks character, her shoulders slumping as she looks around. She picks up her skirt, walking across the hall and knocking on a door.]

Sansa, annoyed - Sandor! I thought you were already out! You missed my entrance.

[We hear Sandor’s voice through the door.]

Sandor, muffled - I look like a fucking cunt. 

[Camera zooms in on Sansa as she grabs the sides of her skirt, twisting her hips so the dress flares slightly as she moves back and forth.]

Sansa, encouraging - No! I bet you look great! Come out, let me see. Wait til you see mine, I look so fancy. [She rubs the fur on her shoulders.] I mean, it’s a bit hot for King’s Landing in the summer but the quality is sup-

[Her voice trails off as we hear a door open. Sansa’s eyes go wide as she purses her lips, trying to hide a smile but doing a terrible job. Camera pans over to show Sandor.]

 

Sandor, annoyed - Stop fucking laughing.

[Camera cuts to Sansa as she bites her bottom lip hard, tears beginning to form in her eyes as she tries to contain herself.]

Sansa, voice breaking - I’m not laughing. You look sooo..cute. [She clears her throat, fanning her face with her hand.] Isn’t that heavy? How can they expect you to wear that armor around the city?

Sandor, annoyed - It’s not metal, it’s plastic.

[He steps towards her, the plastic making a squeaking noise as it rubs against itself. Sansa’s shoulders curl in as she bends over, laughing loudly into one hand as she holds her stomach with the other.]

Sandor, angry - Ok, I’m not fucking walking around like this. 

[Sansa stands up, still smiling widely as she grabs his hand before he can go back into his room.]

Sansa, amused - No, no. I wasn’t laughing at you. I was..um.. You look great, I promise. Very hot, like a sexy, rogue warrior. 

[Sandor rolls his eyes as another door opens. Tormund walks out of his room, standing tall, smiling at Sansa and Sandor as he raises an eyebrow.]

 

Tormund - Am I the only one who thinks I’m owning this?

[Sandor throws his hands up, the plastic squeaking again as he moves.]

Sandor, angry - Ok, this is bullshit! Why does Tormund get a badass old wildling costume and I get this piece of shit from the $1 toy bin at the supermarket?

[We hear another door open.]

Brienne, tersely - You aren’t the only one unhappy. 

 

[Brienne steps into the frame, holding up her skirt as she walks into the room, her face annoyed. Tormund looks over at her, his jaw dropping in awe. He walks to her side, his eyes dark as he looks her over.]

Tormund, confused - Why? You look.. [He voices trails off as he gazes at her heatedly.]

[Brienne drops her skirt down angrily.]

Brienne, annoyed - Because Tormund, this is sexist! I have every right to be dressed as a warrior [she gestures to Tormund] or a knight [she gestures to Sandor] as you both do! 

Sandor, muttering - I’m not a fucking knight. 

Brienne, angry - Well neither am I, just because I don’t have a dick between my legs!

[Sandor sighs, not saying anything as Brienne glares at him, her face hard. Camera cuts to Tormund as he steps towards Brienne, his face thoughtful as he grabs her fingers gently in his. He smiles softly as he looks over her face.]

Tormund, affectionately - Do you want to switch outfits? 

[Brienne scoffs, smiling slightly as she rolls her eyes. She shakes her head, then stops, tilting her head instead, her lips pursed and eyes narrowed in thought.] 

[Camera cuts to Sansa and Sandor putting their bags on their backs as they approach a theatre helper at the end of the hallway, Sandor’s plastic armor squeaking.]

Theatre Helper - Hello, my Lady [He bows to Sansa, who smiles widely, bowing back regally.] And Sir. [He bows to Sandor.]

Sandor, annoyed - I’m not a fucking knight. [He looks over to Sansa.] Why do people keep saying that to me?

[Sansa laughs as she touches Sandor’s armor on his chest, smiling apologetically to the Theatre Helper.]

Sansa, amused - Do you have instructions for us? We’re doing the Coin Haul Detour. 

[The Theatre Assistant nods, looking down at a small side table next to him, scripts stacked on one end, scrolls tied with some twine on the other. He grabs a scroll, handing it to Sansa and she nods gratefully. She turns towards Sandor, untying it and rolling it open.]

 

[Sansa squints, looking closer at the details.]

Sansa, nervous - Wow, that’s.. kind of spread out all over, isn’t it?

[Sandor grimaces, shrugging as he looks at the map over her shoulder.]

Sandor - There’s no direct path so.. I guess we can just start with that one. [He points to the star closest to the Great Sept of Baelor.] and work our way around until we end at the Keep. 

[Sansa nods, sighing as she rolls the map back up.]

Sansa, determined - Ok, we need to hurry, we don’t want to lose our lead.

[Sandor nods as they jog towards an archway that leads out into the main Sept auditorium, Sandor’s plastic squeaking getting fainter as they disappear around the corner. Melisandre and Davos walk into the hallway, their hands full of twine wrapped costumes.]

Davos, happily - This is pretty exciting. You know, I’ve always fancied myself as a bit of an actor. Did you know I was once in a play? I was an onion smuggler. Saved a king. [He puffed his chest up as Melisandre smiled widely at him.]

[Camera cuts to Sansa and Sandor in the back of a taxi, stuck in traffic, the air conditioning blowing Sansa’s hair faintly as she leans forward, looking at the driver.]

Sansa, stressed but polite - Sir, we’re in a race. Is there any way you could maybe.. go around these cars? Or is there a faster way?

Driver, sarcastically - Oh sure lady, let me just pull a freeway outta my ass. [He looks over at her, his face incredulous as he gestures to the gridlocked cars in front of him.] Where do you expect me to go? It’s summer. [He rolls his eyes, turning back to the front as he picks up his phone, fingers tapping the screen. He laughs at something, nodding as he taps his fingers rapidly.]

[Sansa sits back, frowning with her eyebrows furrowed.]

Sansa, offended - Well, that was..kind of rude. I was on- BRAWNS!

[She points out the window, Camera swivels to show Brienne and Tormund running down the sidewalk, Brienne in a wildling costume, Tormund’s pink dress flapping behind him as he holds it up around his thighs to run.]

Sandor, frustrated - Fuck, we’re not getting anywhere. Let’s go. 

[He opens his door, standing awkwardly out of the taxi while his plastic armor squeaks and scuffs against itself, rolling his eyes as he reaches around to pick up his bag. Sansa scoots across the seat, leaning forward towards the driver.]

Sansa, politely - Sir? How much do we owe you?

[The driver rolls his eyes, pointing to the meter ticking away on the dashboard in front of him. Sansa eyes widen as she looks at the total.]

Sansa, shocked - $84?! We didn’t even go anywhere! [She gestures behind her.] I can still see the Sept! 

[The Driver turns to her, raising his hand and rubbing his fingers together in a ‘money’ gesture, grinning widely]

Driver, greedily - Summer is tourist season, sweetie.

[Sansa scowls, reaching down into her bag on the floorboard, unzipping the front pocket and roughly removing the correct amount of money, rudely throwing it up into the front seat. She raises her chin defiantly, scooting the rest of the way out of the car.]

Driver, sarcastically - Good luck on your ‘race’! And nice fur! Enjoy melting in th-

[Sansa slams the car door, her face furious as she puts her bag on, pulling her hair free from the straps. She rubs the fur next to her face apologetically as Sandor shakes his head at her. They both start jogging down the sidewalk, their bags bouncing heavily on their backs. Sandor has to talk loudly over his squeaking armour.]

Sandor, amused - Wow, the Queen of the North slamming the door on someone? [He makes a ‘tsk’ noise as he shakes his head.] What would your people think?

Sansa, panting - My people would never charge a visitor a ridiculously exorbitant price for a taxi that only went 6 blocks! That was half our money! 

[Sandor groans as they come to a stop on a street corner, looking down at her as people move all around them.]

Sandor  - Fuck, really? [Sansa nods her head, brushing her hair out of her face.] Damn. I guess there goes our plan to ride taxis everywhere. [He sighs, rubbing the sweat out of his eyes.] Ok so [He gestures with his chin down to Sansa.] which way?

[Sansa looks up at him, eyes wide.]

Sansa, stressed - Oh gods, I left it in that horrible man’s car!

[Sandor looks up at the road, his face focused as he scans the sea of cars. He runs into the street, weaving in between the stopped cars, working his way back to their taxi. We lose sight of him briefly as Sansa walks down the sidewalk, the cameraman beside her. The traffic light changes to green and the cars all start moving forward slowly, except for one clump where we hear lots of honking and loud shouting. Cameraman runs forward and we see Sandor walking across the street, back to the sidewalk, a rolled up scroll in one hand, the other hand flicking off an angry man hanging out of his car, his face red, his neck veins bulging as he glares furiously at Sandor.]

Angry Man, screaming - GET OUT OF MY WAY, SIR TWAT-ELOT!

Sandor, yelling - I’M NOT A FUCKING KNIGHT, YOU CUNT!

[Angry Man blows his horn as Sandor walks slowly in front of his car, smirking at him. Sandor finally steps onto the sidewalk and the wheels of Angry Man’s car spin wildly as he slams on the gas, screaming at Sandor once more as he peels away, only going about 20 feet before he has to stop again. Sandor growls, his teeth bared as he walks towards Angry Man’s car, his steps purposeful even as his armor squeaks loudly with every movement. Sansa grabs his arm, pulling him so he stops walking.]

Sansa, hurried - Sandor, no! We need to stay focused! This is the finale, we can’t fuck around this leg!! 

[Sandor’s anger disappears, his face smiling as he looks down at her, all tension gone from his body. His eyes gleam as he eyes Sansa in her costume, raising an eyebrow.]

Sandor, suggestively - Hmm, sullied Queen of the North. 

[Sansa rolls her eyes, grabbing the scroll from his hand and unrolling it as she mutters to herself. Sandor smirks as she studies the map, still eyeing her up and down.]

Sandor, teasing - Do you think they’d let us keep these costumes? 

[Sansa looks up at him, trying to hide her amusement as Sandor wiggles his eyebrows at her. She laughs, rolling the map up as she walks back to the corner, Sandor following behind her, smiling.]

Sansa, sternly but amused - You are like a teenage boy right now! Honestly! [She gestures ahead of them] It’s this way in case, you know, you remember we’re trying to win a Race! 

[Sandor nods, reaching forward to pinch her ass, making Sansa shriek with surprise.]

[Camera cuts to a dramatic angle of Melisandre and Davos.]

 

[Melisandre holds a small wooden figure in her hands. Davos walks up behind her, his voice shaking with anger.]

Davos, intensely - Tell him. Tell him who it belonged to.

Melisandre, deadpan - The princess, Shireen.

Davos, intensely - Tell him what you did to her. [His body shakes with anger as he barely restrains himself, his eyes focused on Melisandre with fury. She doesn’t answer, so he yells.] TELL HIM!

Melisandre, dispassionately - We burned her at the stake.

[The Director’s Assistant steps into the frame, shaking his head as he waves his hands in the air in front of him.]

Director’s Assistant - Ok, no, stop, just stop.  [He looks over his shoulder, off-camera.]

[Camera zooms out to show a man in a fisherman’s hat, white beard and large glasses looking at Davos and Melisandre, his face unreadable as he sits in the Director’s chair. He shakes his head once at the Assistant. The Assistant turns back to Davos and Melisandre as Camera zooms in on the three of them.]

Director’s Assistant - Yeahhh, I thought as much. [He turns to Davos.] Honey, you are serving it. You’re giving me everything and I’m living for it.

[Davos grins, his face bright as he looks over at Melisandre joyfully, his hands sitting on his hips proudly. Melisandre smiles at him as The Assistant turns to her, his face falling.]

Director’s Assistant - You, however.. I’m just.. not feeling it. Anything. At all. [He raises his hand to his chest, his face scrunched up in sympathy.] It’s like you’re dead inside. And not in like, a sexy ‘Oh, I’m so damaged and I need you to fuck my brains out to fix my childhood trauma’ kind of way. [He drops his hand, looking at her sternly.] I need you to give me something. Anything. I will settle for a tiny flicker of life in those dark, beautiful, terrifying eyes of yours, ok?

Melisandre, scoffing, annoyed - I am to portray a priestess, I know a- 

[The Assistant puts his hand up, cutting her off.]

Director’s Assistant - Ooooh, uh-uh, ok [he gestures around them] This isn’t a movie set where everyone caters to the ‘talent’, ok? [He puts his hands down.] Here, in Theatre, we’re a team, and what you think you know [He leans in close to her, whispering] doesn’t matter. [He leans back, his face cheerful again as he claps his hands together.] Ok! Let’s just start again, Davos, sweetie, my shining, glittery star, keep doing everything exactly as you are, ok? Melly [He looks at her sternly, wiggling his fingers in front of his eyes.] Give me something, anything, I beg of you. [He puts his hands together in a pleading gesture as he backs up, exiting the frame.]

[Melisandre looks over at Davos, watching as he steps back to a piece of tape on the floor, his face beaming. She nods to herself, her face resigned.]

Director’s Assistant, screaming - Ok, Let’s go people! From the top! [He points to Davos, who takes a deep breath in, his face stern as he begins again.]

 

[Camera cuts to Sansa and Sandor walking quickly down an underground tunnel. Sansa’s face looks unsure as they step over puddles of water on the ground.]

Sansa, warily - This place is so creepy.

Sandor, shrugging - The woman said this was the way to the Alchemist’ Guild. [He looks over at her, gesturing to the map rolled up in her hands.] Isn’t that where the star is?

[Sansa looks down at the map, unrolling it slightly so she can see.]

 

[Sansa makes an unsure noise.]

Sansa - I mean, the star is near the words, yeah, but it’s kind of off to the side. 

[Sandor sighs as he stops walking, standing next to her to look at the map.]

Sandor, frustrated - Fuck. 

[He looks back where they had just walked from, his hands on his hips as he turns to look at the path ahead of them. He squints, leaning forward as he smiles, pointing up ahead.]

Sandor, relieved - Look. 

[Camera zooms in to show a Route Marker on the wall by an archway. Camera cuts back to Sansa as she looks over at him, her face proud. They jog down the alleyway, passing the Route Marker just as Brienne and Tormund emerge from an alcove up ahead, a rolled-up map in Tormund’s hands. The teams nod to each other as they pass, Sansa and Sandor ducking into the alcove.] 

Sansa, terrified, off-camera - Oh Gods, murder room! 

 

[Camera catches up and turns the corner, showing Sansa and Sandor standing in a small space facing a man sitting on a stool in front of a door. He looks up at Sansa with an annoyed expression as she grabs Sandor’s arm, pulling him closer to her side.]

Sansa, nervous - I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I just..wasn’t expecting this space to look .. it’s nice. Homey. [We hear her laugh awkwardly as the man rolls his eyes, reaching over to the shelf next to him.]

Man - I don’t live here. [He holds his hand out and Sandor reaches forward. The man drops a coin into Sandor’s palm and Sandor nods, showing the coin to Sansa.]

 


Sansa, happy - Aw, look! It’s got our season number on it next to a disgusting snake!

[Sansa frowns, shuddering, making Sandor laugh as he moves to put the coin in his pocket, stopping when his hand meets plastic.]

Sandor, sighing - I don’t have any pockets. 

[Sansa runs her hands along the front of the dress.]

Sansa - Shoot, I don’t either. 

[Sandor raises his hand, spinning his pointer finger in a small circle. Sansa smiles, turning around so Sandor can unzip the front pocket on her bag, putting the coin inside. He zips it up as he gestures to the map in her hand.]

Sandor, focused - Ok, where’s the next one? I don’t want the Brawns to get too far ahead. 

[Sansa nods, unrolling the map so they can both read it.]

 

[Sansa points to the map, her finger on the King’s Gate star.]

Sansa - What do you think about getting this one next? Then we can swing down to the Fish market, over to the Street of Steel, then Spice street. We can get the last one at Flea Bottom and then be right next to the Red Keep.

[Sandor nods as they both move to exit the alcove.]

 

[Camera cuts to The King’s Gate, Brienne and Tormund standing on the bridge leading to the gate archway. Brienne is looking around while Tormund stands beside her, grinning widely while he swishes his dress around his legs.]

Tormund, gleefully - My balls can breathe so well in this! Look, Brienne!

Brienne, distracted - I can’t focus on your balls right now, Tormund. [She frowns, putting her hands on the edge of the bridge and leaning over, looking down below.] Do you see anyone just sitting or standing around? [She stands up as she wipes her forehead with the back of her hand, pulling at the leather wrapped around her neck.] Gods, why do we have to wear thick costumes in the middle of summer? [She turns to Tormund who is spinning in a circle, giggling as his dress flares up slightly.]

Tormund, gleefully - Sexism is so fun! 

[Brienne sighs, smiling as she shakes her head.]

Brienne - Tormund. [Tormund continues spinning.] Tormund! [Tormund stops spinning, grinning at her.]

Brienne, amused - You know we’re in a Race, right? Will you help me look?

[He nods his head, swishing his skirts as he walks to the other side of the bridge, looking down below.]

[Camera zooms out as Sansa and Sandor jog onto the bridge, both panting heavily as they stop near Brienne and Tormund, everyone nodding to each other. Sansa’s hair is sticking to her neck and face. Sandor mutters ‘fuck it’ as he pulls the helmet off his head, taking in big gulps of air, his hair sticking to his face. He holds it in his hand as he walks over to the edge of the bridge, Sansa moving to the other side to search.]

[Camera cuts to a wider view as Tormund and Sansa search one side, Sandor and Brienne standing at the other, eyes scanning below.]

Sansa, loudly - Sandor! [She points down below on her side of the bridge.]

 

[Camera cuts to the lower level. There is a man with a pair of yellow and red sunglasses sitting on the ledge of a large fountain.]

[Camera cuts back to Brienne and Tormund as they both turn to Sandor, smiling widely.]

Sandor - Shit.

[Brienne, Sandor and Tormund all take off at a sprint, running to the stairs that lead down to the lower level, Sandor’s armor making a loud, unpleasant scraping noise as he moves.]

Sansa, quietly - Oops.  

[Sansa jogs to the stairs as Camera cuts to a wide view of everyone running, Tormund struggling with his skirts, falling behind. Brienne and Sandor are neck and neck as they sprint to the fountain, Sandor slowing down, his bag bounces heavily on his back. The Man with the Sunglasses stands when he sees them running towards him, backing up slightly as Brienne comes to a stop in front of him, panting as sweat beads down her face. Sandor comes up behind her, panting heavily, carrying his helmet in his hand. The Man with the Sunglasses nods at both of them, handing Brienne a coin first, then Sandor. Tormund comes up behind Brienne and she holds the coin out for him as Sandor walks behind them, exiting the frame.]

[Camera cuts to Sandor walking towards Sansa as she jogs up to him.] 

Sansa, apologetic - I’m sorry I said whe- 

[Sandor waves her off, shaking his head.]

Sandor, panting - They would’ve found it once we started moving, it doesn’t matter. [He hands her the coin.] 

[Camera zooms in on Sansa’s hands as she holds the coin, running her finger across the raised shape of a camel on the surface in the same style as the snake coin.] 

Sansa - It’s pretty.

[She hands it back to him, turning around. He unzips her front pocket, dropping the coin inside and zipping it back up. She faces back to him, unrolling their map.]

 

[Sansa points to the Fish Market.]

Sansa - Shall we?

[Camera cuts to a wide view as Brienne and Tormund both start jogging, exiting the frame. Sandor watches them, groaning as he starts jogging behind them, Sansa beside him.]

Sandor, annoyed - We should’ve left our fucking bags on the side of that mountain, too. 

[Camera cuts back to the Sept. The Director’s Assistant is sitting in a chair with his head in his hands, Melisandre and Davos sitting on a table on stage, Davos swinging his feet back and forth slightly. The Director’s chair is empty. The Assistant jolts up, his face hopeful.]

Director’s Assistant - I know! What if we played it where Davos and Melisandre had an underlying sexual attraction? 

Davos & Melisandre, vehemently - Absolutely not. 

 

[Camera cuts to the fish market as a fisherman grunts, slapping a giant fish head down on the table. He nods, satisfied as he wipes his hands off on his apron, walking back behind his booth, revealing Sandor behind him, his face green as he stares at the fish head.]

Sandor, uneasy - I fucking hate fish. 

[Sansa laughs, taking his hand as she walks through the stalls in the market, her eyes scanning the tops of the tables and the clothes of the workers.]

Sansa, amused - Yes, believe it or not, I remember that little fact. Just close your eyes.

Sandor, pouting - That won’t stop the fucking smell. 

[Sansa turns around, taking the helmet from his hand and putting it on his head, closing the visor over his face. She raises an eyebrow at him, looking at him expectantly. The Hound helmet moves stiffly forward and back as Sandor nods, not speaking. Sansa smiles, reaching up to scratch her fingers against the jaw of the helmet.]

Sansa, cooing - Who’s a good boy?

[Sandor flips up the visor, glaring at Sansa. He wrinkles his nose, grimacing as he lowers the visor back down quickly. Sansa laughs as she turns around, walking through the stalls, holding his hand as she searches.]

[Camera cuts to a very wide angle, showing the entirety of the fish market. We see Sansa, followed closely by The Hound walking through stalls at the North end of the market. Brienne and Tormund are roaming around the South end, Tormund stopping to smell different items and talk to the Fishermen as Brienne pulls his hand, trying to keep him focused.]

[Camera cuts to Sansa and The Hound as he tugs on Sansa’s hand, stopping her. She looks up at him and he points to a stall near them, an older woman sitting behind a fish stall with a red and yellow scarf tied around her neck. Sansa makes a loud happy squeal, The Hound’s hand coming up to cover her mouth. Sansa nods mouthing ‘sorry’ when The Hound removes his hand. They both look over to where Tormund and Brienne are.]

[Camera cuts to Tormund as he speaks jovially with a fisherman. The fisherman nods, picking up a jar from his table and opening it, holding it out to Tormund. Tormund reaches in, pulling out a piece of raw fish, eating it happily, licking his fingers as he exclaims loudly, his face thrilled. The fisherman smiles widely, pleased, then turns to offer Brienne a piece. She grimaces, holding out a hand, declining.]

[Camera cuts back to Sansa as she nods to The Hound, both of them walking quickly over to the woman with the scarf. Sansa smiles at her kindly and the woman nods, handing Sansa a coin. Sansa looks at it, laughing as she holds it out to The Hound, showing a raised fish in the middle in the same style as the previous two.]

Sansa, teasing - Want to hold onto this one since it’s your favorite?

[Sansa laughs as Sandor grabs the coin roughly from her hand, gesturing for her to turn around. He unzips the front pocket, dropping it in with the two others and zipping it up quickly.]

Sansa, teasing - Should we stay in here to look at the map or..?

[The Hound pushes past her quickly, jogging to the exit as Sansa laughs loudly, moving to follow him.]

[Camera cuts to Brienne as she turns around, her brows furrowed as we hear a faint sound of laughing. She nudges Tormund, who is looking at candles at a booth labeled ‘Something Smells Fishy’.]

Brienne, worried - Tormund, do you see Sansa and Sandor?

[Camera cuts back to the stage at the Sept. Melisandre is standing off to the side of the stage, reading over a script, her face frustrated. Davos walks up to Melisandre, his face melancholy.]

Davos, hesitantly - Do you want to switch to the other Detour? 

[Melisandre shakes her head, still studying the script.]

Melisandre, certain - We will not fulfill your destiny if we relinquish now. 

Davos, confused - My destiny? 

[Melisandre doesn’t answer, scowling down at the script instead. The Director’s Assistant enters into the frame, sighing.]

Director’s Assistant - Ok kids, I spoke with the Director and he said he’s still not comfortable signing off of your performance. [He mutters ‘mostly because I told him it was abysmal’] Do you guys want to run through the singing number one more time? I won’t mention any names but I feel like one of you needs to work on the elephant stomping she calls tap dancing. [He gives a pointed look to Melisandre.]

[Melisandre sighs as she puts the script down on the table. She nods to the Assistant, walking over to center stage, leaving Davos behind with a pensive look on his face.]

 


[Camera cuts to a small alley made of stairs. Sansa is looking down at the map, her face frustrated as she opens the fur shawl around her shoulders, fanning her neck with her hand. Sandor is a few steps above her, his hands on his hips as he looks down another alleyway, his brows furrowed as he holds his helmet in his hand, a sheen of sweat covering his face.] 

Sansa - I know it’s in this general area but this stupid star is so big, I can’t say exactly which little alley it is. [She looks up at Sandor.] Do you see anything? 

Sandor, sighing - No. [He walks back down to Sansa, looking at the map over her shoulder.]

 

[Sansa hands it to him, sighing as she pulls her hair up in her hands, holding it against her head as she fans herself, little tendrils of hair sticking to her neck. Sandor holds out his closed fist, offering Sansa the hair tie on his wrist. She smiles gratefully at him, pulling it off and deftly piling her hair into a high bun. She raises herself up on her toes, kissing him on the cheek and walking forward, her eyes focused on the doors she passes as she leads them down the alley.]

 

[Camera cuts to a door with a small Route Marker above it. Brienne and Tormund enter the frame, Brienne’s face flushed, the leather that was once around her neck now tied around her waist. Tormund is wincing, walking quickly with his legs spread wide.]

Brienne, frustrated - Gods, could they have picked a more obscure place? [She steps up to the door, quickly stepping out of the way as it pushes open towards her, Sandor and Sansa exiting. Everyone nods to each other as Sandor and Sansa move past Brienne and Tormund, walking back out into the alleyway, stopping to look down at the map in Sansa’s hands. Brienne enters the doorway but Tormund stops next to Sandor, his face scrunched up in pain, gesturing to Sandor’s bag on his back.]

Tormund, hopeful - Do you have any underwear I could borrow? I’m chafing. 

[Sandor raises an eyebrow, his face amused as he looks over to Sansa. He gives her a questioning look and she furrows her brows, her hand going to her hip, her face stern. Sandor rolls his eyes, taking his bag off his back, unzipping it and rummaging through the contents until he pulls out a rolled-up pair of boxer briefs. He stands up straight, holding them out to Tormund. Tormund reaches for them gleefully but Sandor pulls them back, looking at Tormund, then Brienne shrewdly.]

Sandor - If you take them, you have to wait fifteen minutes after you’ve got the coin to keep Racing. 

[Brienne steps towards Sandor, scoffing.]

Brienne, challengingly - Five minutes.

[Sandor shrugs his shoulders, bending down to put the boxer briefs back in his bag. Tormund whimpers, his eyes gazing longingly at the underwear. Brienne sighs, rolling her eyes.]

Brienne, resigned - Ten minutes. 

[Sandor stands, smirking as he hands the underwear to Tormund. Tormund grins widely, exclaiming happily as he takes them from Sandor, shimmying them on under the dress. Sandor grimaces as Tormund rubs his hand all around his crotch, sighing as he squats a few times.]

Tormund, relieved and ecstatic - So much better!

Sandor, disgusted - Yeah, you can keep those. 

[Tormund grins, clapping Sandor on the shoulder gratefully. He turns to the door, following Brienne into the shop. Camera follows them, showing an interior view of a bicycle repair shop.]

 

[The Welder cuts off her torch, flipping her visor up as Brienne and Tormund walk fully into the shop. The Welder nods to them, her face amused at Tormund’s dress. She sets her torch down on a metal tray atop a table next to her, leaning forward and grabbing a coin from a small bowl next to the tray. She hands it to Brienne and Brienne nods gratefully, smiling as she shows the coin to Tormund. Tormund smiles widely, wiggling his eyebrows.]

Tormund, cheerful - I love that place.

[He runs a finger over the raised elephant in the center of the coin, nodding to Brienne. She puts it in her pants pocket, the coin clinking as it hits the others. Tormund and Brienne nod gratefully to The Welder as they turn back towards the door they came in, The Welder waving as she picks up her torch, flipping her visor down.]

[Camera cuts to an exterior view as Tormund and Brienne sigh, both standing in the alleyway. Brienne turns to Tormund, her eyebrow raised.]

Brienne - Do you have a watch? 

[Tormund shows her his bare wrists, shaking his head. Brienne sighs, her shoulders slumping slightly as she begins counting out loud.]

[Camera cuts to the Sept. Davos’s voice is deep and steady as he bellows out a low note. He cuts the note off, the song now over, his hands raised in the air, panting as he kneels on the stage on one knee. Melisandre watches him from the side, her eyes wet as she smiles fully, her hands clasped under her chin. We hear a slow, steady clap as the Director’s Assistant enters the frame, his face in awe as he stares at Davos with wide eyes.]

Director’s Assistant - Davos, my muse, my love, you are.. a true shining, graying gem in the sea of bleakness that is my life. [He sighs, reaching into his pocket.] I cannot stand by and let this kind of talent go unrewarded. [He looks to Melisandre, shrugging.] He carried you through, Melly.

[Melisandre smiles back at the Director’s Assistant, her face proud.] 

Melisandre, confident - It is his destiny. 

Director’s Assistant, nodding - Now that is finally something we can agree on. [He turns to Davos, dropping six coins into his palm. The Assistant steps out of frame, coming back in quickly with a yellow envelope in his hands. He hands it to Davos, smiling.]  Here you go, silver fox. Good luck, to you both. [He bows dramatically to them before walking off stage, exiting the frame.]

[Davos smiles widely at Melisandre, holding the envelope out to her.]

Davos - Shall we see what’s in store for us next?

[Meliandre nods, taking the clue from him and ripping it open. She unfolds a wide sheet of paper, holding it so Davos can see it too.]

Davos, surprised - Oh, it’s a map. 

[Davos looks at Melisandre, his face confident. Melisandre nods at him.] 

Melisandre, smiling - Our journey continues.

[Camera follows them as Davos walks to one of the columns surrounding the stage, grabbing his bag from the floor and putting it on, following Melisandre to the door.]

Davos, curious - Do you know what a silver fox is?

Melisandre - Some cultures regard him as a creator and wise leader.

Davos, humming - Well, that’s a nice thing for him to say, although...I don’t really see the connection?

 

[Camera cuts to Sansa and Sandor walking quickly down a street, weaving through a crowd of people. Sansa is sweating profusely as she takes off the fur lined cape, bunching it up and holding it in her hand, sticking her tongue out and panting dramatically. Sandor has sweat pouring down his face, the sun shining brightly on him as he focuses on the passing sign shops. A pedestrian bumps into Sandor, knocking his helmet out of his hand. Sandor and Sansa both turn as the helmet gets kicked by another person in the crowd, the helmet scraping against the ground. Sandor sighs, turning back in the direction they were headed. Sansa grabs his wrist.]

Sansa, alarmed - Sandor, no! What if we get a penalty for not bringing every piece we’re supposed to? [She steps forward, bending down and picking up the helmet. She wipes the dirt off the mangled plastic as she stands back up. She sighs, thinking for a moment before gesturing for Sandor to turn around. He does, looking over his shoulder as she messes with his bag.]

Sandor, confused - What are you doing back there? 

Sansa - Just fixing it so you don’t have to carry it. [She unbuckles one of the straps holding up his sleeping bag, feeding it through the Hound’s mouth. She angles the jaw so it looks like it’s biting the sleeping bag, snapping the buckle back and wiping her hands off, satisfied.] There. Now we can go. [She moves to his side, grabbing his hand as they both try to weave their way through the people, Sandor smiling as he looks back up at the shop signs.]

Sandor, relieved - Sansa! 

[Sandor points to a spice shop with a red and yellow flag on the door and Sansa smiles, politely trying to cut in front of people passing in front of them. Sandor sighs, shoving his way through the crowd, Sansa smiling apologetically as she follows him.]

 

[They enter the shop door and Sandor groans, looking at all the baskets of spices laid out inside. A shop owner comes forward to greet them.]

Sandor, annoyed - Holy fuck, we have to search all of these?!

Shop Owner, horrified - Please don’t do that. [He holds out a coin and Sansa smiles gratefully at him as she takes it. She holds it out for Sandor, showing him a raised lobster in the center. Sandor nods, gesturing for her to turn around. Sansa pauses, frowning curiously.]

Sansa, thinking - Sandor, can you hand me the other coins?

[Sandor nods, unzipping her front pocket and grabbing all the coins, dropping them in her waiting palm. Sansa spreads them out, looking them over.]

Sansa, quietly - Snake, Camel, Fish, Elephant, Lobster... Oh! [She smiles up at Sandor as he shakes his head.]

Sandor, dumbfounded - Damn, I wasn’t even paying attention. One from each place we’ve been.

[She hands the coins back to him, grinning. He smiles as he takes them, unzipping her front pocket and dropping them in.]

Sansa, happily - So only the sheep left! Hard to forget that one. 

[Sandor smirks, zipping Sansa’s bag and following her out of the shop.]

Sandor, amused - Holy shit, I can’t wait to watch the show and see that sheep try and fuck Jon. 

 

[Camera cuts to Brienne and Tormund jogging down a narrow street, passing a cafe. Tormund sniffs the air, groaning in pleasure as he pulls Brienne’s sleeve, making her stop.]

Tormund - Brienne. We have to try whatever is making that smell. [He sniffs again, closing his eyes and tilting his head back, his face showing pure ecstasy.] 

Brienne, focused - Tormund, Sandor and Sansa are ahead of us, we need to be moving. I don’t even know where Davos and Melisandre are, they might’ve finished the Theatre Detour and be way ahead of us now. Which means we’d be in last place.

Tormund, distracted, looking through the window - Oh gods, they have a doughnut with bacon and cinnamon on it, Brienne! 

Brienne, unamused - Tormund. 

[Tormund looks over at her, his face serious.]

Tormund - We haven’t eaten a real meal since the mountains, Brienne. We need to keep our energy up. SanSan have their bags weighing them down, and Melisandre doesn’t believe in running, so we can still catch up. Plus, [He wiggles his eyebrows at her, stepping close and lowering his voice.] I’ll do that thing you like tonight. 

Brienne, scoffing - You’ll do that anyway, I think you like it more than I do.

Tormund, shrugging - That’s true. 

[Brienne looks at him, smiling softly as he gives her a wide innocent smile, his eyebrows raised high.]

Brienne, relenting - Fine. But we have to eat and walk. And you can’t just eat doughnuts. This place better have something with real nutrients.

[Tormund cheers, moving to hold the door open for Brienne.]

Tormund, teasing - You’re like a sexy nutritionist. How do you feel about roleplay? Actually, that reminds me, do you own glasses?

[Camera cuts to an exterior view of a taxi stopped in standstill traffic. We hear Davos’ voice.]

Davos, mumbling - Oh, I hope we have enough money. You know how expensive big cities can be. 

[Camera zooms out, showing Davos counting money standing in front of a pastry cart, the cashier’s face confused.]

Cashier - Yeah, uh, it’s only four dollars, man. [He gestures to the wad of cash Davos is flipping through.]

[Davos looks up at the cashier, his brows furrowed.]

Davos - What? Oh! No, I meant for other things, taxis, tickets.. [his voice trails off when he sees the cashier’s eyes glazing over.] Ah, here we go. [He hands the cashier the money, thanking him and taking two pastries from the counter. The cashier calls out to Davos as he walks back to Melisandre, who’s waiting on the curb.]

Cashier, loudly - It was my pleasure! Enjoy your costume party! 

 

[Camera cuts to another stair alleyway. Sansa is in front, navigating. Her bun is messy, tendrils of hair sticking out in every direction on top of her head, her furred cape bunched up and sticking out of her bag. Her sleeves are rolled up as she walks down one way, turning quickly, shaking her head as she walks back in the other direction. Sandor follows behind her, his hair stuck to his neck and forehead, face drenched in sweat and his head tilted all the way back as he pouts.]

Sandor - We’re going to lose our fucking lead because all of these fucking streets look the fucking same. [He lowers his head back down, sneering when his plastic squeaks.] I cannot wait to rip this fucking armor off the second this fucking Detour is over. 

[A man steps into the alleyway talking on his phone, doing a double-take when he sees Sansa, raising his eyebrows and smiling at her. Sandor growls audibly, baring his teeth as he steps towards the man. The man widens his eyes, afraid as he steps back the direction he came from.]

[Sansa looks back at Sandor, her eyes wide.]

Sansa - Yikes, I think someone needs a snack. 

[Sandor glares at her.]

Sandor, annoyed - I don’t need a snack, I’m not a child.

[Camera cuts to the pair exiting a corner bodega, Sandor biting into a pita full of lettuce and meat. Sansa is biting into her own pita, her face amused as she looks over at Sandor eating. Sandor swallows his mouthful, turning to look at Sansa.]

Sandor, reluctant - I might’ve been a little hungry. [He takes a second bite of his pita, finishing it. Sansa laughs, shaking her head as she takes another bite of hers, still more than half left. Sandor stops walking, his expression unsure. Sansa stops, a knowing look on her face.]

Sansa, amused - You want to go get another one?

[Sandor nods, turning to jog back to the bodega, his plastic armor squeaking loudly.]

Sandor, over his shoulder - I think I should get two more, just to be safe!

[Camera cuts to Brienne and Tormund stopped in front of the Spice Shop, looking down at the map. She looks down at him, smiling.]

Tormund, excited - Only one left! 

[He grins up at her as she sighs, shaking her head and blowing air out of her cheeks. He reaches up, brushing her wet hair from her sweaty forehead.]

Tormund, affectionately - My tough Island Woman. 

[Brienne smiles, leaning into his hand briefly.]

Off-Camera - MOVE OUT OF THE WAY, ASSHOLES!

[Camera zooms out as a man shoves into Tormund, pushing him back into Brienne. Tormund’s face sneers as he steps towards the man, rolling up his dress sleeves as his eyes grow dark. Brienne grabs the fabric on Tormund’s shoulder, holding him next to her.]

Brienne - Don’t bother, Tormund. A rude asshole isn’t worth it when we’re this close.

[The Shoving Man turns around, walking backward as he yells out to Brienne.]

Shoving Man - Oh, you want rude? [He looks at Tormund.] Pink looks fucking TERRIBLE with your coloring! 

[Brienne snarls, pushing Tormund behind her as she runs towards the man. The man shrieks, turning back around, running away. Both of them exit the frame. Tormund is smiling gleefully as he looks off-camera at them.]

Tormund, delighted, whispering - No, Brienne, don’t beat him up. Wait, stop. [We hear a scream from off-camera, and Tormund’s eyes widen as he giggles, breaking into a sprint, exiting the frame.]

 

[Camera cuts to an alleyway, Sandor and Sansa exiting a doorway with a red and yellow marker above it. Both of their faces are flushed and sweaty. Sansa looks up at Sandor, sighing happily with a sheep coin in her hand. She holds it out to him, grinning.]

Sansa, relieved - We’re finally DONE! 

[Sandor takes the coin from her, nodding, his face relieved.] 

Sandor - Let’s just fucking finish this. Red Keep? 

[Sansa nods, pointing up the stairs. Sandor sighs as they both start jogging up the stairs side by side, their bags bouncing on their backs, Camera following behind them.]

Sansa - Ugh, I never want to explore another city ever again. 

Sandor, casually - Ever? I hear the Westerlands are pretty nice to explore. 

[Sansa looks over at him, smiling] 

Sansa, teasing - Oh you heard this? [Sandor shrugs, smiling over at her.] Well..do you have a car? Or a bus pass?

Sandor, laughing - Yes, I have a fucking car. 

Sansa, smiling widely - Then I can’t wait. 

 

[Camera cuts to an exterior walkway inside the Red Keep. Melisandre and Davos walk up to a man standing in front of the entrance to the Godswood, three yellow envelopes in his hand.]

Guard - Do you have coins for entrance? 

[Davos nods, handing him six coins. The Guard looks down, checking them as they lay spread in his palm. He nods, holding the clue envelopes up to Davos. Davos smiles, nodding politely as he takes one, turning to Melisandre and ripping it open, pulling out the papers.]

Davos - Roadblock. [He reads further, widening his eyes. He looks up at Melisandre. She looks back at him confidently, nodding.] 

 

[Camera cuts to Petyr walking down a path inside the Godswood. His hair is ruffled, his shirt buttons misaligned and a lipstick smear is on his neck. He seems very relaxed.] 

[[Director’s cut Outtakes - Petyr sighs happily. “Gods, I fucking love this city.” He inhales, lifting his face up to the sun. We hear someone clear their throat off-screen. Petyr lowers his face, sniffing as he straightens his shirt. “Right, let’s get this in one take, team! Daddy’s got places to be.”]]

Petyr - The Godswood at the Red Keep is notoriously confusing, an acre of winding paths, surrounded by a garden full of fauna and foliage native to King’s Landing. For the first time this season, team members have no choice when it comes to who will be participating in the Roadblock - the least performing member will need to complete this challenge. That team member will be taking a journey down memory lane, searching these paths for clue boxes. [Petyr walks forward, a clue box now beside him. He opens the lid, pulling out a 1/4 inch thick piece of black foam board, a 5 inch wide photo of Fort Mazdhan printed on the front of it.] They’re tasked with finding a photo of each Pit Stop location they’ve visited. [He reaches inside the box again, pulling out a second photo of two elephants embracing in front of a mountain.] As well as an animal they interacted with in each country. [He puts both photos back in the box, closing the lid and walking forward.] The photos are all distributed randomly in eight clue boxes throughout the Godswood. Teams will compile their photos here.

 

[Petyr enters a clearing, three large boards propped up on easels next to him, all facing away from each other in a wide triangle.] Once team members have their board set up correctly, with all location and animal photos corresponding to the correct leg, they will receive their next clue. 

[Camera cuts back to Davos as he takes a deep breath, nodding as he takes his bag off, handing it to Melisandre and walking into the garden. Melisandre sighs, sitting down on a stone bench next to the entrance, putting Davos’ bag on the ground near her feet as she waits.]

[Camera cuts to Sandor and Sansa as they jog up to the guard at the entrance to the Godswood, both panting heavily. They speak to the guard at the same time.]

Sansa, eager - Is it over? The Detour?

Sandor, eager - Can I take this fucking thing off?

[The Guard steps back, his eyes wide.]

Guard, hesitantly - Uhh.. I don’t know. I was just told to give you this envelope when you hand me six coins with different animals on them. [He shrugs.]

[Sansa turns around quickly, her bag facing Sandor as he simultaneously reaches to unzip her front pocket. He grabs all the coins, turning to the Guard and shoving them into his hand. Sandor yanks an envelope from the Guard’s other hand, dropping it to the ground immediately as both he and Sansa take off their bags, dropping those to the ground as well. They begin ripping off pieces of their costumes, Sansa laughing as she strips down to a sweat-soaked sports bra and a pair of panties. Sandor sighs, relieved as he finally tears the plastic off his body, leaving it on the ground completely ruined at his feet. He’s standing in a soaked t-shirt and athletic shorts until he pulls those off, standing completely naked in a pair of boots, a blurry censorship box blocking his groin area.]

[Camera cuts to the Guard, his eyes wide as he stares at Sandor, averting his eyes quickly and looking over at Sansa, his face wary.] 

The Guard, unsure - Uh.. you can’t go into the Godswood naked. It’s a religious institution. 

[Camera cuts back to Sansa and Sandor. Sandor has his hands on his hips, his feet in a wide stance as he breathes in deeply with his head tilted back, eyes closed. Sansa is kneeling next to her bag, digging out fresh clothes. She looks up when the Guard speaks, looking over at Sandor and grinning widely, her gaze dropping and lingering long enough that the Guard has to clear his throat.]

Sansa, blushing - Oh, um.. Yeah. He will. Just...give him a moment. 

[Sandor breathes in and out slowly, the Guard looking more and more uncomfortable. Sansa gets dressed, smiling and enjoying the view. Finally, Sandor looks down at Sansa, his face happy. Sansa is fully dressed and smirking up at him.]

Sansa, amused - Feel better? 

Sandor, blissful - Yes. 

[He kneels down next to his bag, opening it and digging through the contents as Sansa walks over to the yellow envelope discarded on the ground. She bends down and picks it up, walking back to Sandor’s side as she rips it open and takes out the papers.]

Sansa, curious - Huh. There’s no riddle. It just says ‘The Team member who has done the least amount of Roadblocks must perform this task.’

[Sandor stands, putting on a new pair of athletic shorts as he looks over at her.]

Sandor, encouragingly - Well, I mean, you’ll do great, of course. [He bends down, picking up a shirt and straightening it out in his hand, looking for the head hole.]

Sansa, scoffing - Actually, you’ll do great.

[Sandor looks over at her, his eyebrows furrowed. Sansa’s eyebrows are raised, her mouth pursed as she holds the paper out to him.]

Sandor, confused - That’s..not..

[Sansa sighs, holding up her fingers as she lists the tasks.]

Sansa, amused but offended - You did the sheep in the West, I did the North lake dive, I did the Pyramids, You did the bungee jumping, I did the snakes and I did the language in the mountains. 

[She puts one hand on her hip, smirking with her chin raised challengingly as she holds the papers out to him again. He takes them, his face dazed.]

Sandor, stunned - You.. carried me to the finish. 

[Sansa drops her hands, tilting her head as she looks at him affectionately.]

Sansa, proudly - You’re welcome, Princess. 

[Sandor grabs the front of her shirt, pulling her towards him, his mouth landing on hers immediately. She opens her lips up to him, putting her hands on his shoulders and jumping, wrapping her legs around his waist. His hands come under her ass, supporting her as he walks forward, her back thumping against the brick wall roughly. He kisses her hungrily, his hands gripping her ass as he presses her into the wall, his body flush against hers. She moans, bucking her hips against him as she tilts her head, pulling him closer to her with her hands on the back of his neck, her fingers in his hair.]

[Camera cuts to the Guard as he looks at them, his mouth agape, eyes wide.]

Guard, astonished - You guys! This is a RELIGIOUS INSTITUTION! You can’t...have sex against the wall! 

[Sandor groans as he pulls away from her, smiling easily as he looks at her. Sansa’s lips are swollen, red. Her eyes are half-lidded, a lazy smile on her face.]

Sansa, teasing - That was not proper Princess behavior, my Lady.  

[Sandor laughs, his eyes running over her face before his smile disappears. He swallows thickly, his eyes dropping down to the hollow of her throat as he speaks.]

Sandor, genuine - I’m sorry. For assuming it was you. 

[Sansa leans forward, kissing him simply on the mouth.]

Sansa - You’re forgiven. Now put me down and go do this task quickly. I didn’t carry you all this way for us to lose. 

[Sandor huffs a laugh as he sets her down, tilting her chin up to kiss her again before he walks over to the clue papers he dropped, picking them up. They both carry their bags over to the stone bench Melisandre is waiting on, Sansa waving kindly to her. Sandor sets his bag down at her feet, kissing her quickly before he turns to enter the Godswood, reading the instructions as he jogs. Melisandre smiles at Sansa, her eyes knowing.]

Melisandre - Passions of the flesh are often the windows into your true being. 

Sansa, tilts her head, thinking for a moment before she shrugs, not disagreeing. 

[Camera cuts to a view inside the Godswood. We see Davos standing in front of a board, placing a photo up on it. He shakes his head, muttering to himself as he removes it, the noise of velcro pulling apart loud in the mic. He places it in another spot, nodding before he walks quickly to a path in the plants, disappearing.]

 

DAVOS

 

[Camera follows Sandor as he stuffs the instructions into his pocket, jogging towards a clue box at the beginning of a path. He opens the lid, reaching in and flipping through the photos. He pulls out a photo of the Ruins of Oxcross and the Andalos Mountains, smiling briefly at the mountain photo as he closes the box lid, jogging further into the gardens.]

[Camera pans over to Davos, carrying a photo of Fort Mazdhan as he comes out of a path. He walks over to the board, placing it in the correct spot before heading into another path.] 

[Camera cuts to Sandor as he jogs down a path, a clue box up on the right. He opens the lid, flipping through the contents, pulling out a photo of elephants, a photo of camels, and a photo of Fort Mazdhan before closing the lid and moving on.] 

[Camera cuts to Davos as he walks down a path, a photo of camels in his hand. He walks quickly back to the Boards, missing a partially hidden path. Camera pans over to a clue box obscured from view behind some large foliage that Davos missed.]

[Camera cuts to the Boards as Brienne enters the Godswood, still in the wildling pants but her tops layers stripped off, down to a plain white tank top. Davos nods to her as he puts up a photo of camels, turning and walking back into the garden quickly. Brienne sighs, dropping the instructions in front of an empty board, turning to jog towards a path.]

[Camera cuts to Sandor, his arms full of a stack of photos as he opens another clue box. He peers inside, flipping through the photos and removing a photo of snakes, smiling to himself as he adds it to the top of the stack. He removes a photo of the Surströmming, gagging as he places that one face down on top of the stack. He closes the lid, placing his free hand on top of the stack as he jogs down the path. He turns around a bend, stopping to backtrack, turning instead down a partially hidden path. He finds a box at the end, flipping it open and removing a photo we can’t see. He adds it to the stack, muttering ‘fuck yeah’ as he puts his free hand on top of his stack again, running back down the path and out to the Boards.]

[Camera cuts back to a center view of the boards. Sandor runs up to the closest empty one, looking down to see Brienne’s instructions on the ground. He growls, moving around to the other empty one. He dumps all his photos on the ground, kneeling down to sift through them.]

[Camera cuts to Davos as he adds a sheep photo to his board, nodding to Sandor before he turns back into the gardens.]

DAVOS

 

[Sandor stands, quickly putting two photos on the board before kneeling back down, and grabbing two more, standing and putting them up.]

SANDOR

 

[Camera cuts to Brienne as she jogs through the garden, her hands full of photos squished against her chest. She stops at a box, opening it and flipping through the photos, pulling out three we can’t see and holding them under her armpit as she closes the lid, running to the next box, her face focused.]

[Camera cuts out to the stone bench, our frame centered on Melisandre, Sansa and Tormund all sitting together. Tormund is in Sandor’s underwear, a leather and fur wildling vest and a pair of boots. Sansa looks over at Tormund, trying to keep a straight face.]

Sansa, amused - So.. forgot to bring your other clothes with you, huh?

[Tormund looks down at the ripped and dingy dress at his feet, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees, his chin resting in his hands.]

Tormund, glumly - I was too excited to think it through. 

[Sansa rubs his back sympathetically.]

Sansa, understanding - A good dress will do that to you. 

[Tormund and Melisandre both nod, Melisandre smiling as she runs her hand across her costume dress, still in pristine condition.]

[Camera cuts back to the Boards, all team members standing in front of their board.]

 

DAVOS

 

[Davos stands in front of his board, rubbing his chin as he stares at the one empty spot. He snaps his fingers, muttering ‘Melisandre’ as he walks quickly back into the garden.]

 

SANDOR

 

[Camera cuts to Sandor as he stands in front of his board, holding two photos in his hands, his brows furrowed deeply.]

Sandor, confused - That doesn’t make any fucking sense. We kissed Leg 4, not 3. [He holds up the photo of the Omboro Cave to the board, looking at it again.]  Oh, fuck me. [He holds both photos with one hand, reaching with his other hand to move Fort Mazdhan over to ‘Leg 3’, putting up Omboro Cave and the lobster photo in their correct spots.] Fucking dumbass. [He looks around the cleared area.] Uh, judge? Where the fuck is the judge?

[Camera pans over to a short, older man, his hands clasped behind his back as he walks over to Sandor’s board.]

Judge - Hello, my name is Ae-

Sandor, interrupting - Yeah, that’s great, can you just look at my board and tell me I’m good to go so I can get my fucking clue?

[The Judge wrinkles his nose at Sandor, turning to face him.]

Judge, indignantly - Young man, I’ll not have you speak those filthy words in this Religious Institution! I have worked here for thirty-five years and I will not be spoken to in that way! 

[Sandor sighs, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his fingers, muttering ‘if one more person says fucking religious institution’. He takes a deep breath, raising his head up with a snooty smile on his face.]

Sandor, imitating Sansa - I would never. I merely described an animal. [He pauses, thinking.] I won’t let you sully the likes of me.

[Brienne snorts in the background as she places a photo up on her board, turning around briefly to shake her head at Sandor. Sandor narrows his eyes at her, gesturing for her to turn back around to her board, smiling widely when the Judge turns to look up at him, blinking confusedly.]

Judge, befuddled - That doesn’t make any sense, [He eyes Sandor.] but your tone is better so I’ll look at your board.

[Sandor doesn’t say anything, just nods as he follows the Judge over to his board.]

 

SANDOR

 

[The Judge looks his board over slowly, taking his time to look at each photo. Sandor sighs behind him, crossing his arms against his chest and raising his face to the sky, his jaw clenched tight. After a moment, the Judge steps back, opening his blazer up and pulling a yellow envelope from the inside pocket. He holds it out to Sandor.]

Judge - Now, I would say you have a thing or two to learn about resp-

[Sandor snatches the clue from him, jogging towards the Godswood Entrance.]

Sandor, over his shoulder - K, fucking great, thanks.

[The Judge sputters, looking over at Brienne, his face outraged.]

Judge - I say! I have never been so disrespected in my life! 

[Brienne sighs sympathetically, putting her hands on her hips.]

Brienne - Honestly, you might have to write that one off as a lost cause. 

[Camera cuts to the bench as Sandor runs out of the Godswood, yelling Sansa’s name. She stands, smiling widely as she turns to him, picking up her bag and putting it on.]

Sansa, thrilled - You’re first out?! Oh my gods, Sandor! 

[Sandor leans down, grabbing his bag and putting it on as he hands the envelope over to her.] 

Sandor, teasing - Hey, I’m not just a pretty face.

[Sansa laughs, smacking him lightly in the stomach. She gestures to the envelope as she bends down, grabbing her bag and putting it on. Sandor nods, ripping open the envelope as they both start walking into the Red Keep.]

Sansa - Route Info. 

 

 


[Camera cuts to an aerial view of the Red Keep. We see a minuscule figure waving faintly from a high window on a tower.]

 

[Camera cuts to an interior room, Petyr turning from the window towards the camera.]

Petyr - The Tower of the Hand is one of the tallest towers in the Red Keep and, as the title suggests, it was once home to the Hand of the King, a public servant who advised and executed the will of the King. Now, it is used for a gravity-defying stunt for visiting tourists wanting a thrill unlike any other in Westeros. 

 

 

[Frame cuts to footage from a previous season of The Westerosi Race. A man is hanging from a rope on the side of a tower. He slides a metal ascender up a rope with his hand, using both arms to pull himself up, inching his way up the rope to the top of the tower. It looks exhausting. Camera cuts back to Petyr in the room.]

Petyr - Teams will use ascenders to climb from this window [He gestures behind him.] to the top of the Tower of the Hand. This Season, we’re taking it easy on the teams and giving them two ascenders, one for each hand. [He smiles maliciously.] Teams will need to find their way to this room, which will be difficult to do when they learn employees and staff of the Red Keep have been instructed not to help them with directions. The teams may ask tourists visiting the castle for help, running the risk of getting incorrect information. Once team members exit this window and reach the top of the Tower, they will receive their next clue.

[Camera cuts back to Sansa and Sandor. Sansa’s eyes are wide and Sandor is wincing as he stuffs the papers back in the envelope. Sansa blinks repeatedly as she speaks.]

Sansa, calmly - Ok.. ok. Let’s just focus on finding the room first before I freak out about climbing outside of one of the tallest towers that’s ever existed and falling to my death, ok?

[Sandor looks down at her, his face worried. He nods, grabbing her hand as they run into the main part of the Red Keep, disappearing from the frame.]

[Camera cuts to Davos, walking around the gardens, his face frustrated. He goes up to a box, opening the lid and looking inside. He flips through the photos, frowning as he slams the lid shut, walking further down the path.]

[Camera cuts to the Boards as Brienne puts her last photo on.]

 

BRIENNE

[She turns around, waving to the Judge. He nods, walking over to her with his hands clasped behind his back.]

Judge, surprised - Oh! You’ve done it differently. 

[Brienne frowns, leaning down to pick up the instructions, scanning them quickly.]

Brienne, defensively - It doesn’t say what order to do it in. [She looks up, frowning at the board.] We saw the animals before we did the Pit Stop. 

[The Judge claps his hands together, his face joyful.]

Judge - Oh, so logical! And thoughtful! This is wonderful! [He opens his blazer, pulling out a clue and handing it over to her.] What a fine young maiden you are! You’ll make a wonderful wife to a lucky man, someday! Maybe raise some children for him, hmm? [He raises his eyebrows at her expectantly.]

[Brienne furrows her brows as she looks down at her clue, her mouth curling up with disgust. She takes a deep breath, relaxing and smiling widely to the Judge as she looks back up.]

Brienne - I’m actually with someone now, would you like to meet him?

Judge, ecstatic - Oh, I would be delighted! I bet he is just an upstanding moral citizen to have earned your favor. 

[Brienne nods as she walks with the Judge over to the Godswood Exit.]

Brienne - That’s exactly how I would describe him, yes. 

[Camera cuts to Davos in the garden, huffing as he walks down a path. He stops, backtracking a few steps. He pushes aside huge leaves from a large plant, sighing as he walks down the partially hidden path. He walks up to the box, opening it and pulling out the last photo inside. He looks at it, smiling sadly as he closes the lid and walks back to the Boards. Camera follows him as he walks up to his board, placing the last photo in the correct slot. He stands back, his hands on his hips as he looks at the Temple of R’hllor photo.]

[Camera cuts to Melisandre waiting on the bench alone. She smiles softly to herself, standing and turning as Davos comes out of the Garden. He looks at her, his face knowing.]

Davos, resigned - We weren’t meant to win, were we? 

[Melisandre shakes her head, smiling sadly.]

Melisandre - Our victories come in other ways. 

[Davos nods, humming as he looks down at the ground. He sighs, holding up the envelope in his hand.]

Davos, positively - Well, there’s no shame in finishing strong. Shall we?

[Melisandre smiles happily, nodding as she gestures for him to open it.]

 

[Camera cuts to a giant room, a line of people standing, waiting to take their photo on a throne made from melted swords. Sansa and Sandor jog through the doorway, both cringing at the throne.]

Sandor - Holy fuck, the replica is even worse than the original.

[Sansa nods, shuddering as she looks around the room. She pulls Sandor’s hand, gesturing for them to leave.]

Sansa - C’mon, this room freaks me out. I actually think the stairs are right around the corner. 

[Sandor nods, following her out of the room. Camera follows behind them down a hallway and around the corner to a wide set of stairs. Sandor raises his eyebrow, his face impressed as they both jog up the stairs, their bags bouncing heavily on their backs.]

Sandor - Well, look at you. How’d you know?

Sansa  - Oh, I came here once on a school field trip when I was like 13.

 

[Camera cuts to Brienne and Tormund walking down an ornate corridor. Brienne shakes her head, frowning as she walks behind Tormund.]

Brienne - No, Tormund, this isn’t right. This doesn’t even look like the same castle. 

Tormund, disagreeing - It’s just off because this is the new part they built after it all burned down. That lady said the room we needed was this way! 

Brienne, incredulous - Tormund, we haven’t even gone up any stairs! 

[Camera cuts to the interior room Petyr was in, Sansa and Sandor jogging through the open door, both panting. There are two attendants there, holding harnesses by the windows.]

Sandor, relieved - Oh, fuck. We found it. 

Sansa, dismayed - Oh, farts. We found it. 

[Sandor laughs, shaking his head at her.]

Sandor - You know the jig is up, right? You've cursed. I've heard. And not even in the 'heat of.. [His voice trails off when he looks down at her face. Sansa is staring wide-eyed out the windows.]

Sansa, panicked - Sandor. 

[Sandor sighs, turning towards her, pulling her body into his chest as he wraps his arms around her. An attendant walks up to them, holding two harnesses. Sansa turns her face away from him, hiding in Sandor’s chest. Sandor huffs a laugh, rubbing her back under her bag. The Attendant frowns, looking out the windows.]

Attendant - If she doesn’t like the water view, we have other windows around the tower. There are some that show the city - they’re so high above everything that you feel like you’re all the way in space!

[Sansa whimpers, the noise muffled in Sandor’s chest. Sandor glares at the attendant, his jaw tight. The Attendant shrinks back.]

Attendant, hesitantly - So.. we’ll do the water one?

[Sandor nods as the frame widens, Melisandre and Davos walking into the room, both smiling pleasantly. Another attendant walks up to them, gesturing to three sets of windows.]

Davos, unbothered - Oh, ah.. How about the city side? [He looks to Melisandre, who nods. Davos looks back to the attendant.] Can’t beat this view. [He, Melisandre and the Attendant all walk over to the third set of windows.] Although, I will say the new glass elevator they’ve installed gave us a pretty good thrill.

[Sandor looks up at Davos, his face incredulous.]

Sandor, disbelieving - There’s an elevator?!

 

[Camera cuts to a narrow, curved stairwell. Brienne is leading, shaking her head and smiling as she jogs up, passing the camera quickly. Tormund is behind her, his face gleeful as he skips up each step, swinging his bent arms back and forth tightly next to his body.]

Tormund, singing happily - We found some stairs, we found some stairs, we found some stairs, we found some st-

[Frame cuts to a slightly fuzzy view from a camera attached to a pole on Sansa’s helmet, angled down towards her face. Our view switches back and forth between her and Sandor’s helmet, based on who is speaking. Our frame jostles as Sansa shakes her head, her eyes shut tight as she stands on the window sill, her hands gripping two ascenders, each connected to their own rope, and her harness attached to a separate safety rope.]

Sansa, panicked - Sandor! I can’t do this!! 

[Sandor looks at her from his window next to hers.]

Sandor, encouragingly - You can, Sansa, you do fucking yoga!

[Sansa scoffs, opening her eyes to glare at Sandor.]

Sansa - That is NOT funny, Sandor! 

[Sandor laughs, leaning down to wrap the rope around his foot.]

Sandor - Sansa, look, just focus on using your thighs. I know those are plenty strong. [He wiggles his eyebrows at her. She continues glaring at him and he smiles.] Wrap the rope around your foot and put your feet together to step up. You’ll be solid, just using your arms for balance. 

[Sansa shakes her head, closing her eyes again. Sandor sighs, looking over at the other sets of windows. The set next to them is empty. Davos and Melisandre are at the third set of windows, standing inside the tower, looking out into the city over their shoulders, their attendant still attaching their ropes. Davos is smiling, pointing at something through the window in the city. Melisandre smiles, nodding.]

[Sandor looks back to Sansa, her eyes pinched tight again.]

Sandor, quietly - Sansa, I swear I won’t let you won’t fall to your death. 

[Sansa opens her eyes, looking at him, her face worried. After a moment she nods reluctantly, swallowing thickly. Sandor smiles at her, his face proud as he looks over to the Attendant.]

Sandor, hurriedly - Can you hold onto her rope, take the slack out so she stays facing the tower? 

Attendant, unsure - Uhh.. we were told not to really help you guys. 

[Sandor clenches his jaw, gesturing to Sansa.] 

Sandor, growling - She’s fucking terrified, you cu-[he clears his throat, looking over at Sansa. He takes a deep breath, his voice calmer but still gruff.] She’s fucking terrified, and you aren’t helping her up, just making it so she doesn’t fucking swing around. 

[The Attendant sighs as he pulls Sansa’s safety rope tighter, nodding to her when it’s tight. Sansa smiles gratefully at him, her face still nervous as she moves an ascender up the rope. Sandor reaches over, wrapping the rope around her foot. She nods as she puts her feet together and stands, pushing her body up easily, lifting both ascenders high up on the ropes. She looks at Sandor, slightly more confident as she holds onto the ascenders tightly and raises her lower body up, moving her foot in a loop up as she inches up on the ropes. Sandor smiles, following beside her easily, staying at her pace.]

[Camera cuts over to an interior camera view, Davos and Melisandre standing on the windowsills in their harnesses, focused on the Attendant as he explains how the ascenders work. Camera swivels over to the door when we hear loud footsteps, Brienne and Tormund running into the room, both panting and sweaty with big smiles on their faces.]

[Camera cuts back to Sansa and Sandor as they clear the tops of the windows. Sansa is working slowly but steadily, her eyes focused on the wall in front of her as she rhythmically steps up, then moves the ascenders up, gripping them and pulling her legs up. Sandor is beside her, watching her progress up the tower, inching up when she does. He looks down, seeing Brienne and Tormund sitting on the window sills, getting ropes attached to their harnesses.] 

Sandor, hurried - Fuck Sansa, we gotta move. The Brawns are here. 

[Sansa laughs humorlessly, eyes focused on the ascenders as she moves them up the ropes.]

Sansa, matter-of-fact - Well, I only have one speed. Slow and steady prevents my death. 

[Sandor looks back down at Brienne and Tormund, both swinging out of the windows, the attendant giving them a thumbs up to go ahead. Sandor mutters ‘fuck’, looking over at Sansa.]

Sandor, hurriedly - Do you trust me? 

[Sansa furrows her brows, confused, still facing the wall.]

Sansa - Of course I trust you, [She stands up, her face grimacing as she uses force to lift her body. Her eyes are focused up on her hands, moving the ascenders up.] but that’s not going to make me climb faster. I am physically going at top speed. [She laughs humorlessly again.] Frankly, we should be happy I’m even climbi- [She looks over at Sandor, her face nervous.] What are you doing?

[Camera cuts to Sandor’s helmet as he leans down, unwrapping the rope from his foot. His body is spinning slightly, and he sticks a foot out against the wall to steady himself. Sansa is looking at him, eyes wide.]

Sansa, panicked - Sandor, what are you going to do? [She grips her ascenders, holding them close to her chest, her knuckles white.]

Sandor, calmly - Put your feet against the walls, like this, [he gestures to his feet flat against the tower.] and be ready. [He looks up, gripping his ascenders as he raises one on the rope, pulling his entire body weight up while raising the other, pulling his body up again. He continues this steady pace, not stopping as he climbs the tower rapidly, Sansa calling after him as she watches him go up.]

Sansa, angry - SANDOR CLEGANE! I DON’T LIKE WHATEVER IT IS YOU’RE ABOUT TO DO! 

[Sansa looks to her left, Brienne and Tormund whizzing by, both of them climbing with their arms, not even needing to use their feet, Brienne slightly ahead of Tormund.]

Brienne, teasing - I think all your skipping wore you out, Tormund! 

[Tormund grunts, laughing briefly before he grimaces, quickening his pace as he tries to catch up to Brienne.]

[We cut to Sandor’s camera as he stands at the top of the tower, leaning out of a window with his hands cupped around his mouth, yelling down at Sansa.]

Sandor - SANSA! GET READY!

[Sansa whimpers loudly, her face distraught as she wiggles her foot, making the rope fall off of it. She frowns deeply, hanging in her harness as she puts her feet up on the tower. She looks up at Sandor, whimpering again as she waits, clinging to the ascenders.] 

[Camera cuts to Sandor’s helmet as he smiles. An attendant is standing in the corner by the window, looking at Sandor with wide eyes. Sandor yells down to Sansa again.]

Sandor - START WALKING! 

[From Sandor’s camera, we see Sansa look up, her face furious as she shrieks ‘WHAT?!’. He laughs, grabbing her safety rope, flexing his fingers around it. He leans back, putting one foot against the wall as he pulls her rope with both hands, slowly at first. He yells out the window again.]

Sandor, loudly - SANSA! YOU GOOD?

[We switch to Sansa’s camera, her hands clinging to her ascenders, useless now in her hands as the ropes attached to them bunch in her lap as she ascends, walking her feet up the tower wall. We hear her muttering a mantra of “I hate this, I hate this, I hate this” over and over. She stops her mantra briefly to yell up at Sandor.] 

Sansa, angry - GO FASTER SO I CAN KILL YOU!

[Camera switches to Sandor’s as he laughs, pulling on the rope faster. We see his muscles flex as he smoothly pulls the rope in towards his chest, hand over hand, never stopping.]

[Camera cuts to our normal frame, over to Brienne as she smiles at the Attendant waiting by her window, putting her foot on the windowsill, panting. She jumps down inside the room, handing the Attendant her ascenders still attached to their ropes with a smile on her face. She unclips her helmet, handing that to the Attendant, too.]

[Camera zooms out to show Tormund climbing into his window, a wide grin on his face as he jumps down into the room, taking his helmet off and handing everything over to the Attendant by his window.]

Tormund, cheerfully - In a year, we’ll come back here and I’ll best you then, Island Woman. 

[Brienne laughs, walking over to Tormund, putting her hands on the back of his neck and bending down, kissing him. He puts his hands around her waist, pulling her body against his as he groans. The Attendants stand there, looking at them, unsure.]

Attendant - Um.. we still need to take your harnesses off?

[Camera pans over to Sandor as he grunts, pulling the rope up still. We see Sansa’s hand slap down angrily on the windowsill.]

Sansa, angry - SANDOR! Pull me inside NOW!

[Sandor winces, putting his foot back on the ground, holding the rope tight. He gestures to the Attendant, who jolts into action, coming to his side and holding onto the rope, tightening his grip when Sandor looks at him, narrowing his eyes.]

Attendant, shaking his head - I won’t let it fall. 

Sansa, off-camera - SANDOR! WHAT THE HELL?!

[Sandor steps over to the window quickly, grabbing Sansa’s free hand and harness, using both to lift her inside. She sits on the windowsill, wrapping her arms around his neck as she falls forward onto him, wrapping her legs around his waist tightly, Sandor wincing slightly as their helmets ‘konk’ against each other. He wraps his arms around her back, laughing as she squeezes her arms around his neck tighter.]

Sandor, wheezing - Baby, I can’t breathe. 

[Sansa leans back, her face surprised and pleased. She smiles at him, and Sandor returns it, his face happy. Sansa leans forward, tilting her head to brush her lips against his once, twice, slowly, before hugging him again, dropping her legs from his waist. He lowers her down and the Attendant goes to Sansa, helping get her harness off first as Sansa unclips her helmet. Sandor unclips his helmet, looking over at Brienne and Tormund to see them reading their clue.]

Sandor - Fuck, Sansa!

[Sansa looks over, noticing Brienne and Tormund. Her eyes widen as she turns back to the Attendant, speaking quietly to him. He nods, reaching over to a table and handing her a yellow envelope. Sandor is at her side, his harness and helmet all off as she hands him the envelope, still getting her harness off. Sandor rips it open, pulling out the paper and reading.]

Sandor - Route Info. 

 

[Sandor opens the blue paper, his brows furrowing.]

Sandor - “Make your way to the place where The Targaryens kept their pets long ago. This is it, Go, Go, Go”

[Sansa comes to his side, her eyes wide.]

Sansa, excited - Oh my gods, Sandor, this is the Finish Line. [They look up at each other, both excited as they take off at a run through the office.]

 

[Camera pans across the room to show Sansa and Sandor following behind Brienne and Tormund, both teams exiting from the office out into a hallway. Brienne and Tormund turn left, running towards the wide stone steps. Sandor turns to follow until Sansa pulls on his arm towards the right. Sandor nods at her and they both run down the hallway in the opposite direction.]

[Frame cuts back to Davos’s camera as he hangs from the rope outside the tower. He’s massaging his biceps, grimacing as he reaches back up, taking an ascender in his hand and pulling himself up, working hard and steadily.]

[Frame cuts to Melisandre’s camera as she works quietly next to him, stopping when Davos needs a break with him, smiling as she enjoys the view of the city.]

[Camera cuts to the bottom of the tower, Sansa and Sandor exiting a glass elevator. Sansa’s face is gray as she holds one hand over her stomach, Sandor looking over at her, smiling. Sansa stops walking, gasping loudly.]

Sansa - Sandor! Our bags! We left them up there! 

Sandor, hurried - Oh fucking well. When we win, I’ll buy you twelve bags. 

Sansa - Well, that’s just obscene. Eleven will do. 

[They smile at each other as they jog towards the Red Keep exit.]

[Camera cuts to Brienne and Tormund as they jog down a wide stairway side by side, Brienne nodding politely to tourists who move out of their way. Tormund looks over at her.]

Tormund - Do you still have our map of the city?

[Brienne reaches into her pocket, holding it up for him to see. Tormund grins widely, jogging faster to keep up with Brienne.]

 

[[Director’s cut Outtakes - Camera cuts to the Dragonpit. The production team and past contestants from this season are all standing around, waiting. Petyr is whining loudly from the stage from a chair under a canopy, demanding coconut water to replenish his electrolytes. Lyanna steps up on the stage, using a megaphone to address the crowd. “Ok, guys, we just got word that the final two teams are on their way, we need to go ahead and get into position. I would like my past contestants to go ahead and get next to your teammate from the show, forming two lines by the stairs so the incoming teams can run up through an aisle of all the teams they defeated, ok?” Arya groans, looking at Jon standing next to her. “Does she have to phrase it like that? Sansa didn’t defeat me, the rapids momentarily got the best of me.” She rolls her eyes, as Gendry puts his arm around her shoulders, kissing her temple while he pulls her over to their spots next to Podrick and Tyene. Cersei walks up to Jon, looking him up and down lewdly. “Well, I think I found my partner.” Jon looks at her, his eyes shifting nervously as he takes a step back. He smiles politely. “Uhh, actually, I think we’re supposed to stand next to the partners we had in the show.” Cersei looks at him, her face confused. Jon looks over at Ygritte, who shrugs. Cersei sneers at Ygritte, only now noticing her. “Oh, I see. You’ve already got a partner.” She looks back at Jon, stepping closer to him and speaking quietly. “That’s a shame. I could’ve really taught you some things to do with that morose little mouth of yours.” Cersei walks away as Jon and Ygritte look at each other. Jon grabs Ygritte’s hand, his face terrified. “Please don’t leave my side.” Ygritte laughs, pushing him over to their place.]]

 

[Camera cuts to Sandor and Sansa as they stand in the middle of a stairway alley. Sansa puts her hands on her hips, looking down one end of the alley, Sandor looking down the other, both panting.]

Sansa - Does any of this look familiar to you?

Sandor, scoffing - All of it looks familiar. We’ve been all around this fucking city.

[Sansa raises her eyebrows, looking down the alley with a sardonic look on her face.]

Sansa, pointedly - Yeah, well, it sure would be nice if we had our map. 

[Sandor puts his hands on his hips, turning around to face her.]

Sandor - Hey, I didn’t realize our map was in your bag, ok? You can’t throw that in my face.

[Sansa sighs, rubbing her hands on her face. She puts her hands down, turning to face him.]

Sansa, genuine - You’re right, I’m sorry. We’re just.. [she sighs.] so close. 

[He turns away from her, his face hard as he squints to look down another alley.]


Sansa, sighing - We’ll just stop and ask someone. It’s not like the Dragonpit will be hard to find once we figure out where we are. 

[He nods, turning to her. She smiles up at him, her face unsure. He sighs, reaching his hand out to her. She smiles genuinely then, taking his hand as they both start jogging down the stairs.

[Camera cuts to the gate at the Red Keep, Brienne and Tormund exiting. They pause for a moment, both of them looking at the map. Tormund gestures down a road and Brienne nods, both of them jogging, weaving in between people walking.

Tormund, hopeful - Hey! Maybe we can just take a small detour to that one place with the doughnuts? I was thin-

Brienne, sternly- No, Tormund! We need to focus!

[Tormund wilts, his face sad as he jogs quietly next to her. She looks over at him, sighing as she bumps his arm with her elbow.]

Brienne - We’ll get you a doughnut after, I promise. 

[Tormund grins, perking up again and jogging faster as he whistles the theme song to the Westerosi Race, his eyes focused.]

[Camera cuts to Sansa and Sandor, Sansa’s eyes lighting up as she points down an alley.]

Sansa, relieved - Sandor, look! 

[Camera pans to show the corner bodega where they got their pitas. They both turn, running in that direction, their faces hopeful.]

Sandor, panting - I think I know how to get to the pit now. 

[Sansa looks over at him, smiling widely.]

[Camera cuts to a view of us running up the stairs, into the Dragonpit. There are teams on both sides of us, forming an aisle, clapping and cheering loudly. We see Petyr at the end up on a platform, looking at us proudly.]

[[Director’s cut - Bronn claps his hands together, leaning over to talk to Margaery as they watch the cameraman run down the aisle, no one behind him. “Now, why are we clapping for the cameraman again?” Margaery sighs, smiling widely, talking through her teeth. “Bronny, I told you, these are shots they need for when they edit the episode all together.” Bronn stops clapping, his brows furrowed. “So they’re going to put fucking footage of me clapping for whoever the winning team is?” Margaery nods her head, still clapping and smiling. Bronn scoffs, his face disgusted as he crosses his arms across his chest. “They have no fucking right! I’m only clapping if it’s Sandor and Sansa running up those stairs!” Margaery laughs, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek as she continues clapping for the cameraman. Lyanna steps up onto the stage, megaphone in hand as she addresses everyone. “Ok, people! This is it! One of the teams is approaching the Dragonpit, I need your best ‘happy loser’ faces, ok?”]]

[Camera cuts to a pair of boots running up the stairs, another set of feet following behind. Camera pans up, revealing a pair of Sandor’s underwear and a wildling vest, followed by the shocked face of Tormund, Brienne close behind, her eyes wide as they jog up the stairs onto the platform. Most of the past contestants are cheering, clapping loudly as Tormund turns around, waving at the other teams now gathered in a clump in front of the platform. Brienne’s face is dazed as she stares at Petyr, her hand reaching behind her, grabbing a fistful of Tormund’s vest, pulling him closer to her as he laughs. Petyr raises his hands and the teams all quiet down.

Petyr - After seven different countries, forty-nine thousand miles, and beating eight other teams here, Brienne and Tormund, you are the official winners of the Westerosi Race!

[Tormund grabs Brienne by her shirt, turning her around and pulling her towards him, crushing his lips to hers as the other teams cheer, even Bronn. Brienne wraps her arms around Tormund’s neck, pulling him closer. The teams all continue to cheer as they kiss. Brienne and Tormund finally break apart, Brienne’s face red, Tormund’s face proud and elated. They turn, arm in arm, facing the small crowd of people standing on the ground. Podrick is cheering loudly, bringing his fingers to his mouth to whistle above the noise. Ygritte is howling into the sky, her face flushed and happy. Brienne brings a hand to her forehead, tears in her eyes, overwhelmed. The teams quiet down when Petyr comes to her side, a hand on her shoulder as he talks to her.]

Petyr, loudly - Brienne, how are you feeling? Do you think all the little girls will resent you, their dream role model, for letting Tormund carry you through the Race?

[The teams all laugh, Podrick booing loudly as Tormund leans over into Petyr’s space, grinning widely.]

Tormund - I didn’t carry anything through the Race, except these nu-

[Camera pans away from Tormund over to the stairs as Sandor and Sansa run into the pit. Bronn cheers, whistling and clapping as everyone else joins in, cheering loudly as Sandor and Sansa jog up to the platform, their faces disappointed. They stand next to Brienne and Tormund, Sandor smiling sadly down at Sansa as she shrugs, looking up at him. He wraps an arm around her shoulders and she puts both of her arms around his waist, leaning into his chest. Petyr comes over to stand beside them, looking at Sansa.]

Petyr, loudly - Now, Sansa, how do you feel, coming in Second place on the Westerosi Race all because Sandor forgot your map?

Sansa, adamant - No! No, that’s not what caused us to get second at all! [She looks up at Sandor but he’s looking down at the platform, his jaw clenched tight, his face hard. She tugs his shirt until he looks at her.] I didn’t remember the map, either, I shouldn’t have put that on you. [She smiles up at him.] You literally pulled me up a tower today. You encouraged me to run through a pit of snakes even though I thought I couldn’t. You ate fish that made you turn green so we could stay in the Race. [She looks back at Petyr, her eyes hard.] We got on this mat together, both making mistakes and both excelling at different things, so don’t you dare ask me a stupid question like that again, Petyr Baelish. [She pokes him hard in the chest with her finger and Petyr steps back, his face hurt. He rubs his chest, sniffing as mutters ‘ow’, walking back to stand next to Brienne and Tormund, crossing his arms, pouting. Sandor looks down at Sansa, his face beaming with pride. Sansa looks up at him, lifting herself up on her toes, their lips meeting for a kiss. We hear Margaery shriek loudly, everyone else cheering, making Sansa laugh, breaking the kiss.]

Petyr, petulant - Fine. Since others don’t want to play nice, I’ll ask you this, Brienne, As the sole Heir to the Tarth Fishing Empire worth over thirty million dollars, what do you plan on doing with your half of the prize money?

[Camera pans over to the teams on the ground, all of their faces showing varying degrees of shock, Podrick nodding knowingly. Camera pans over to Sandor and Sansa as they stare at Brienne, their jaws agape. Camera comes back to Brienne and Tormund, Brienne smiling easily at Tormund, his arm around her waist, hugging her to him, returning her smile. Brienne takes in a breath, looking over at Petyr.] 

Brienne - I’m actually going to donate it. [We hear Sandor groan off-camera.] Tormund has been telling me about this charity his cousin works with that helps empower young girls, teaching them wildlife skills and self-confidence. [Camera pans over to Ygritte, who beams up at Brienne and Tormund, howling loudly. Jon looks over at Ygritte, his face proud. Camera cuts back to Brienne and Tormund.] And there are other charities - I’ve heard of some great things coming out of the Iron Islands, a Greyjoy woman is working with young girls, teaching them about sailing and instilling leadership skills. 

[Camera frame widens, including Petyr in the frame. He is staring at Brienne and Tormund, his face annoyed. Tormund clears his throat, looking pointedly at Brienne.]

Brienne, laughing - And I’m going to buy Tormund a doughnut. [She looks at Tormund, grinning. Tormund grins back at her and Brienne turns to him, hugging him with both arms as they laugh quietly, talking between just the two of them.]

[Camera cuts back to Petyr with his jaw clenched tight, seething as he stares at them. He walks past Tormund and Brienne, over to Sandor’s side.]

Petyr - Now, Sandor, I couldn’t help but notice you seem pretty unhappy when Brienne and Tormund were telling us their lovely, wholesome plans. [He raises an eyebrow to Sandor.] Do you support charities and young girls furthering their leadership skills?

Sandor, shrugging - Sure. 

Petyr, narrowing his eyes - So, what’s the problem?

[Sandor clears his throat, looking out into the people on the ground, nodding his head.] 

Sandor - Bronn and I just had plans, trying to get a business started. The money would’ve been nice. 

Bronn off-camera - You were supposed to win, you cunt! 

[Sandor rolls his eyes, turning to the crowd, Sansa tucked under his arm, into his side. Camera zooms out to show the small crowd as well as the people on the platform. Bronn is looking up at Sandor, smiling widely with Margaery at his side.]

Sandor, amused - I lasted longer than you, fucker! 

Bronn - Yeah, and that’s the only time you’ll ever be able to say that!

Sansa, interjecting - Uhhhh.. I don’t know if that’s actually possible, Bronn.

[Margaery whoops loudly as Bronn laughs, Arya and Jon making disgusted faces. The crowd erupts into chaos as Sandor and Bronn heckle each other, Margaery screaming excitedly to Sansa while everyone else begins talking to each other loudly. Petyr walks off the platform over to Lyanna.]

Petyr, loudly over the noise - When is the third team showing up so I can go?

Lyanna - They should be pulling up any minute. 

[Camera cuts to a taxi pulling up to the curb in front of the Dragonpit. Melisandre opens her door, exiting as Davos pulls the money out of his pocket, spreading it out in his palm.]

Davos, distracted - Uh, sorry, can you just read me the meter total?

Driver - Sure, pal. It’s forty dollars an-

Davos, amused - Fifty-three cents, right. I should’ve known. [He hands the driver the rest of his and Melisandre’s money, smiling to himself as he steps out of the car.]

[Camera cuts to inside the Dragonpit, the crowd cheering when Melisandre and Davos enter. They walk up on the platform, coming to stand next to Sansa and Sandor, everyone on the platform nodding to each other.]

[Camera cuts to Petyr as he walks quickly up on the platform.]

Petyr - Davos and Melisandre! Well, I think I can speak for us all when I say I’m shocked to say you guys have placed Third on the Westerosi Race! You guys must be so disappointed!

[Davos looks over at Melisandre, both confused. Davos looks back at Petyr, shaking his head.]

Davos - No, I don’t feel disappointed. [He looks over at Melisandre.] We had some of the best experiences. I honestly couldn’t have imagined a better trip. [He laughs, looking back at Petyr.] Well, of course, unless I could bring my beautiful wife and so- oh gods, Gendry. [He steps forward, looking out into the little crowd. He spots Gendry, standing with his arm slung around Arya’s shoulders, waving patiently at Davos.]

Gendry, teasing - Hi Dad, did you forget about me on your world travels?

[Davos laughs, walking quickly down the stairs of the platform, meeting Gendry, who had been walking towards the stairs. They hug each other happily, clapping each other on the back as they laugh, talking to each other excitedly.]

[Camera pans over to Petyr, who rolls his eyes, throwing his hands in the air.]

Petyr, whining - Why does no one want to finish their interview with me??

[Melisandre walks into the frame, looking at Petyr expectantly.]

Petyr - Ugh, not you. 

 

- - - 

 

“OK PEOPLE, THAT’S A WRAP!” 

Sansa covered her ears as Production and contestants alike cheered loudly, hands raising in the air, celebrating a season of a job well done.

Sansa smiled, wrapping her arms around Sandor as she looked up at him, resting her chin on his chest. “Are you terribly disappointed?” 

Sandor shrugged, rubbing his hand up and down her arm. “I mean, yeah, a bit.” 

Sansa nodded, agreeing as she looked down at the people grouped in front of the platform. “Well, I had fun.”

Sandor grinned down at her, his eyes playful. “Oh, had ? So that’s fucking it, then, huh?.”

Sansa sighed, smiling up at him. “I meant I had fun on the Race .”

Sandor hummed, running his thumb along the bottom of her jaw, his voice low. “So, are you still having fun?”

Sansa nodded, raising herself up on her toes, moving a hand to his shoulder, her mouth closer to his. “I agreed to tell you if I stopped.” She leaned up, pressing her lips to his lightly. “No change yet.”

Sandor hummed again, leaning down to kiss her fully as her arms came up to wrap around the back of his neck, her head tilting towards him.

“Uh, guys. Before you start that, I need you to sign off on your check.”

Sansa pulled back from Sandor, who groaned, unhappy. She smiled at him before turning to look over at Jojen standing next to them. He was holding out a clipboard, a small stack of plain white envelopes in his other hand. Sansa took the clipboard, eyes scanning it, her face confused. 

“I’m sorry, Jojen, what’s this for? Checking what?”

Jojen shook his head. “No, didn’t you read your contract when you signed onto the show?” He looked at Sansa and Sandor, both of them shrugging. He rubbed his eyes, muttering why doesn’t anyone ever read the contract before he put his hands down, sighing. “Every contestant gets paid for appearing on the show, it’s part of the rules the Network makes us follow. So you get compensated for your time.” 

Sansa looked up at Sandor, a slow smile appearing on her face. She looked back at Jojen, hopeful. “We’re getting paid?” 

Jojen nodded, holding up the small stack of envelopes. “Yep, I can hand you your check as soon as you sign for it.” He gestured to the clipboard.

Sansa beamed at him. “Do you have a pen?” 

Jojen nodded, reaching into his production bag around his waist and grabbing one for her. She took it eagerly, scanning the list for her name and signing next to it.

Sandor took the clipboard from Sansa, looking over at Jojen. “Do you know how much we get?” He looked down, eyes scanning the list, finding his name and signing.

Jojen nodded. “Actually yes, it’s a flat rate, the same every year. Second Place gets you $25,000.

Sandor’s eyes widened as he handed the clipboard back to Jojen. He looked down at Sansa, her eyes wide, a huge grin on her face. She squealed, jumping up and down happily, her hands grabbing Sandor’s arms. “Sandor! We get to split $25,000!!” 

“Uh, no, actually. I meant you each get $25,000.” Jojen held out two plain white envelopes to them. 

Sansa stopped bouncing, staring at the envelopes. “Holy shit.”

 

- - - 

 

Varys knocked on the Network CEO’s door, not waiting for an answer before opening it and slipping into his office. 

“Well? Who ended up winning?” The CEO looked up from his desk at Varys expectantly. 

Varys walked over to his desk, putting a hand on his chest, his face the picture of shock. “Oh, now, I’m so hurt you stopped reading the memos I’ve been sending.”

The CEO smiled, leaning back in his chair. “Yes, well, I admit once my odds of seeing Cersei walk through a snake pit dropped down to zero, my interest did wane a bit.”

Varys scoffed, amused as he sat down in a chair. “As delightful as it would’ve been to see her in her natural habitat, even you don’t contain enough nepotism in the world to have kept her in the Race that long.”

Tyrion smiled, shrugging a shoulder. “A man can dream, anyway.”

Varys leaned back in the chair, his eyebrow raised as he looked down at his shirt, straightening it. “Petyr still holds me accountable for that little stunt, by the way, though I didn’t correct him." He looked up at Tyrion, his face bored. "Frankly it’s barely even fun messing with him anymore - the tiniest thing just spins him into a frantic tizzy.”

Tyrion hummed, placing his hand on a couple of photos laying on his desk. “Soon Petyr won’t be much of an issue. And then you’ll only have me around to torment.”

Varys hummed, his eyes full of mirth. “Too true.” He gestured down to the notepad Tyrion was writing on. “Any ideas for the big twist for next season?”

“Ah, yes.” Tyrion ran his finger down the paper, his eyes scanning the lines quickly. “So far my most likely option is Teams of Four.”

Varys crossed his arms across his chest, nodding. “What a logistical nightmare for me, thank you.”

Tyrion looked up, smirking at Varys. “Well, that’s why it’s my favorite.” He put the notepad down on his desk, bringing his hand up to rub his chin, his brows furrowed in thought. “Now, I had an idea, and I wanted your opinion.”

Varys leaned forward, his eyes gleaming as he smiled slowly.