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Bright Light in the Darkness

Chapter 6

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

Chapter 6

 

Legolas sat silently watching as the other members of the Fellowship ate and laughed. Occasionally he would smile at something said, but for the most part he was stuck in his thoughts and memories, pushing his food around on his plate. 

He had not sought out Elanor, finding he was not yet sure what to say to her. At times she would appear so strong, but at others he was reminded just how fragile she could be. He did not wish to further hurt her. 

No, it was best to wait for her to seek him out.

“What ails you?” Aragorn asked softly, leaning closer to him. Legolas glanced at him and then reached for his goblet of wine.

“I am fine,” he replied before taking a drink. He looked around the table, meeting Boromir’s eyes. The Gondorian smirked at him and it left the elf unsettled, though he was not sure just why. “Just a bit tired is all.”

Aragorn nearly gave him an incredulous look, though stopped. He knew enough of Legolas to know that right now, something weighed heavy on his mind, though he would not speak of it unless he chose to. And certainly not in front of the full company. 

“Just where have you been spending your days, Elf?” Gimli asked boisterously, obviously having partaken of more than a few goblets of wine. Legolas looked over at the dwarf, whose eyes were twinkling. 

“Training. Fetching supplies,” Legolas replied.

“Sure it’s not with the lovely Elanor?” Boromir asked, quirking an eyebrow at him. Legolas kept his face calm, though he felt a jolt of annoyance run through him.

“I have not seen her, no,” he said evenly. Stay calm, he urged himself.

“Oh, we spent some time with her today,” Merry pitched in. “Didn’t we Mr. Frodo?” Legolas’ eyes flicked to the ringbearer who nodded. He looked better rested, which he considered a blessing. The hobbit would need all his strength if he were to survive the rest of the journey.

“She’s been very welcoming,” Frodo said. 

“Today she told us about growing up in Mirkwood,” Pippin said brightly. 

“She did, did she?” Gimli said, though he shot an amused look towards Legolas. “And what did the lass say?”

“Oh, all about how she would run off into the forest every chance she got,” Pippin said. “And then there was one time…”

The hobbit’s voice faded into the background as Legolas’ thoughts wandered across the land and back in time to when he and Elanor would sneak out from their lessons to run amok around the halls or the forests just out of the doors. 

They would get in trouble every time, though usually not so much before his mother died. Afterwards, his father had grown harsher, though Fraeya had managed to temper him. Once she had died, there was no one left to try and curb his tongue, though Elanor somehow managed to be a buffer between father and son more often than not.

As children, she had been a close playmate, but then she had become so much more. She had become someone he could bare his soul to. Save for the true depth of his affections, he had told her everything. And it all started the day his mother died.

~~~

Legolas sat in his room on the floor, staring at the floor as his toys surrounded him. He did not understand what was going on, only that his father had sent him away and there was much yelling. He could hear things being tossed about from behind the closed door. Wailing. 

And no one would tell him where his mother was.

“Legolas?” a small voice said from the door. He turned, seeing Elanor standing there, barely visible behind the large door. Her long blonde hair was pulled into two plaits as she peered at him through wide blue eyes. 

She stepped into the room, her rosy cheeks wet. Legolas looked down at the floor again, frowning.

“What’s wrong?” she asked softly, walking up to his side.

“No one will tell me what is happening,” he said glumly. “Ada won’t see me. And I want Amil.”

Elanor sat on the floor next to him on her knees, watching him closely. He looked at her.

“Why won’t they tell me anything? Why can’t I see Amil?” he asked, his eyes wide. “Did something happen to her?”

“I don’t know,” Elanor replied. “Amil and Ada would not say anything to me either…”

“Ella, I am afraid,” he said. “What if she isn’t coming back?” Legolas sniffed as tears filled his eyes. “What if I never see her again?” Tears began pouring down his cheeks. Elanor reached out and wrapped her arms around him, unsure what to say. She did not understand what had the hall in such a frenzy either. Her own mother held her tightly as she told her that the young prince would need them now more than ever. She had used the confusion of whatever was happening to sneak out of her family’s rooms and seek out her best friend. 

“You’ll always have me, Legolas,” she replied. It was the only thing that she could think to say. He pushed her away from him, a serious look coming over the small child’s face.

“Do you swear it?” he asked. “That you will never leave me?” Elanor nodded.

“I swear it… I will never leave your side,” she said solemnly. “It is you and me - for always.” Legolas then nodded and threw his arms around her again, starting to cry. They stayed that way for a few hours, both eventually falling asleep as the tears tired them out. It was like this that Elanor’s mother found them.

“Ailmar, my king, they are here,” she called out, stepping over to the children as relief filled her face. Just behind her the king and her husband walked into the room, taking in the sight of the two sleeping children. “It would seem that she came to comfort him.” 

Thranduil walked over and bent down, gently picking up his young son and holding him close. The movement caused the young elf to stir slightly, opening his eyes as his father held him and then turned to walk towards his bed. He watched as Fraeya picked up her young daughter and looked at him, her eyes full of warmth and worry. 

Legolas quickly shut his eyes as he felt his father bend over, putting him in bed and then tucking him in. He felt slight pressure on his forehead as his father kissed him and then straightened his hair.

“Sleep well, my prince,” he murmured. “You are all I have left…”

The little boy pondered the words long after the others had left.

~~~

Legolas left the others early, finding himself not in the mood for frivolity. He had not missed the look of concern that Aragorn gave him and figured it was only a matter of time before he followed him into the woods.

He found himself looking towards the home where Elanor lived, wondering what she was doing. How she was faring. From the hobbits, she seemed in good spirits, but he was not sure if they would notice her being upset. It seemed that she had finally learned to hide what she was feeling.

“What is really the matter?” Aragorn asked, stepping up to Legolas from the trees. The elf glanced at him and then back at Elanor’s home.

“Just… lost in memory,” he said softly. “She was the first to comfort me… when my mother died.” 

Aragorn was silent, unsure of how to respond. But he could also sense that Legolas had more to say. 

“I made her promise that she would never leave me,” he continued. “That day. And made the vow myself the day her mother died… but… it seems that we have both broken our vows.”

“Things change. People change,” Aragorn said.

“The elves do not change. Not so easily,” Legolas replied, his eyes still trained on the home. “Though… I must say that she has. Very much. She was more… alive back then. Always smiling and laughing. But then if you crossed her, she did not hold back her anger.”

“And did you cross her often?” Aragorn asked. Legolas chuckled softly.

“I learned very quickly not to,” he said. “Though at times I could not help myself. We were young. Foolish. Though I do not have the excuse of youth for how I hurt her in the end.” Aragorn frowned, looking towards the home as well and wondering just how the two had fallen out. “I pushed her too far and she left me.”

The two were silent. Aragorn wished to ask what happened, but he could tell from Legolas’ stiff posture that it would not do to push him to speak of it if he did not wish to. It was best to let the elf set the pace of this conversation.

“I wish to make amends with her before we leave, but I am not sure if she will see me,” he said. “The last we spoke, I… I upset her again. All I seem to do is upset her.” 

Aragorn stepped over and placed his hand on Legolas’ shoulder, causing the elf to look over at him.

“I suppose all we can do is to let Fate take control,” Aragorn said, though as he uttered the words, he felt them inadequate. Legolas nodded and looked back at the home. “Surely there is a reason that you were brought here to her.” 

“Yes, surely there is a reason,” Legolas murmured. “If you’ll excuse me… I wish to be alone with my thoughts.”

“Of course,” Aragorn said, dropping his hand to his side. He then turned and walked away thought paused a moment, looking back. Legolas had not moved. Was still standing and staring at the home.

Sighing, Aragorn turned and continued on his way, hoping that Legolas and Elanor would find a way to make peace before they left.

~~~

Elanor stood on her balcony that evening, looking up at the starry sky between the tree branches, a goblet of wine in her hand. Now with Haldir back, she had made sure to stay true to the promise she made years ago. That she would face her problems rather than attempt to bury them at the bottom of a bottle. 

But this night, she allowed herself just a bit of comfort that it brought. 

She could not help but think that the sky here looked so very different from the sky in Mirkwood, though it was essentially the same. Here, she was so high up in the branches, she could actually see the sky. Whereas in the forest around the King’s hall, the leaves would often blot it out. And it had turned so very dark with the spiders only multiplying. The wood there was sick, she couldn’t help but think. Whereas here it was alive and flourishing.

But yet, she had still loved being out among the trees in Mirkwood. Just around the hall, it was not so bad. There was still life and joy there. She would often seek refuge there when her father got to be too much. Or when she was angered by something else. Or hurt. She had spent a lot of time in the trees as she watched Legolas grow closer to Tauriel, unsure of what to do or say. She could not speak of such things to her father - how could he understand? It did not help that she had overheard him and King Thranduil on more than one occasion discussing how it would be beneficial if their two houses were joined through marriage.

No, her mother was perhaps the only person Elanor could discuss this with. And she was gone.

But what they all wanted had not mattered. Legolas had obviously given his heart to another. And Elanor knew that meant there was no chance for love between them. It was yet another reason she had left Mirkwood that day. 

But there had been a time when she had hope. Hope that perhaps he felt the same. That they might possibly have something more than their friendship. For they did have a deep bond.

Elanor took a deep breath, closing her eyes and allowing memory to take her back. 

~~~

Elanor sat in the clearing, her skirt splayed around her and likely getting dirty from the forest floor. But she did not care. Nor did she care that her father might scold her for it later. Nothing mattered in that moment save one thing - her mother was gone. 

There was no other sound, save that of the waterfall cascading into the small spring nearby. The tiny haven was hidden amongst the trees, though not too far off from the King’s Hall that she worried about her safety. It was the only place she could find right now where she could truly be alone.

Once again, the tears welled up in her eyes though she had thought it wasn’t possible. She had been sitting here crying for what felt like hours. Felt there was no liquid left in her body. Part of her was surprised that no one had come seeking her yet, though at the same time, it wasn’t as though anyone knew where she was. This had long been her own special spot in the woods. Her mother had brought her here as a child, sharing her haven with her. They would often come together when Elanor did not seek its comfort on her own.

And here is where she came now, the grief coursing through her body as she thought to every memory she had of her mother. Her gentle smile. Bright laughter. How she would scold Elanor, but then hold her close. Singing her to sleep every night as a child. 

But never again would she hold Elanor or sing to her. Or give her sage advice. She was gone. Waylaid by orcs on her way back from Lothlorien. A deep hatred then coursed through her. If she had gone with her, she could have protected her. Saved her from this fate. But she had stayed behind this time, saying she needed to get more training in before her next mission out with the guard.

Elanor vowed then that she would never let another die. Even if it meant going out and killing every orc in the land, she would have her revenge.

“I will avenge you, Amil,” she whispered, looking up at the small patch of sky that was visible through the trees. 

“Ella!? Ella! Where are you?”

Elanor looked in the direction of the voice, quickly wiping her cheeks. Before she could stand, Legolas stepped through the trees into the clearing. His look of worry faded into relief as he made his way to her, dropping down to sit at her side. Without a word, he reached out and pulled her to him. The tears began pouring yet again, but he did not say a word, only allowed her to cling to him as she sobbed.

“Why her?” Elanor finally said, resting her head on his shoulder. “Why was it her caravan they attacked?”

“I do not know,” Legolas said. Elanor pushed away and looked into his eyes, seeing her own pain and grief reflected there. “I wish that I had been there…”

“As do I. I cannot help but think it would have been different… that I could have saved her,” she whispered. Legolas only pulled her close as she began to sob again. “I will not rest until I’ve killed them all.”

“Hush, Elanor. Now is not the time for revenge,” he said calmly. 

“But they killed her,” Elanor sobbed.

“Yes, but you are grieving. We must not think of such things right now,” he said, though Elanor could tell he was restraining his own fury. His own mother had been killed by orcs. It was yet one more thing the two friends now had in common.

“Do you carry this anger with you always?” she asked. He did not speak for a few moments.

“At times, yes,” he said. “But you must not let it consume you.”

“All I can think about is tracking them down… killing every last one of them,” she said, her voice full of venom. Legolas only pulled her closer to her. 

“You must think rationally, Elanor. If you went out now, you would be blinded by your grief. Could make a mistake. And I could not bear it if I lost you too,” he said softly. 

Elanor felt her anger abate slightly as she pondered his words. She buried her face in his tunic, deciding he was right. For now, she needed to let go of her anger. Perhaps a time would come when she could return the favor to the orcs that had killed her mother. 

But for now, she only wished to sit and cry. 

“She may be gone, Elanor… but you will always have me,” Legolas then said. “I promise that I will never leave you.” 

Despite her pain, Elanor could not help but take comfort in his words. For she knew they were true. Legolas began to stroke her hair as she continued to hold on to him and cry. Finally, her sobs quieted and she pulled away again, looking deep into his eyes.

“You swear it?” she asked softly, remembering that day long ago when they were children. When she had made the same vow to him. A faint smile came across his face as he nodded. 

“I swear it. I will always be here with you,” he said. “It is you and I from henceforth. Always.” 

“Good, for I will surely need your strength in the coming days,” she replied, wiping her cheeks again. Legolas reached out, stopping her, then wiping them away with his thumb. She could not help as a shiver of something ran through her at the gentle touch.

“My strength, my comfort. It is all yours to take,” he said solemnly. Though he hesitated, as though there was more he wanted to say, but something stopped him. Elanor felt her cheeks heat up as she looked away, down to her dress that was now dirty from her trek into the woods.

“I must look a fright,” she said, quickly trying to brush off twigs and dirt. 

“I had not noticed,” Legolas said. “You look the same as always to me.” Elanor stopped and looked up at him. “Always twigs and such in your hair.” He reached out and pulled one from her long curls and tossed it to the ground. Elanor was sure her cheeks were a bright red then. “Do you wish to go back or stay here longer? Your father is looking for you.” 

“I should go back, but… I feel if I stay here, I can pretend that it is not true. That she may yet be waiting for me,” Elanor said, looking down at her hands in her lap. 

“Then we shall stay longer,” Legolas said, getting more comfortable at her side. Elanor continued staring at her hands before looking up at the sky, the stars twinkling down at her. “How did you come to find this place?”

“Amil brought me here,” Elanor said quietly. “It is one of the few places where you can fully see the stars and sky. She said that it reminded her of home. It was… our special place.”

“Then whenever you wish to feel close to her, you need only come here,” he said. Elanor looked over at him, finding him smiling sadly at her. “She will always be here. And within your heart.” Elanor nodded, looking back up at the sky, feeling more tears fall down her cheeks.

“I can still feel her presence,” she said softly. “I think that you are right.” 

“I know that I am… I can still feel my Amil,” he replied softly. Elanor looked over at him, finding him staring up at the sky. “They never really leave us, you know. They are still here. Looking out for us.”

“Is that what you truly believe?” she said. He nodded, glancing at her.

“With all my heart,” he said.

“Then I believe it too,” Elanor said, looking back up at the sky.

They sat there in silence a few more moments before Elanor felt Legolas put his arm around her waist, pulling her closer. Sighing, she laid her head on his shoulder.

It was getting later and she knew that they should go back. Soon both of their fathers would likely send out a search party. But for now, she only wished to stay here. Just like this.

~~~

Elanor wiped away the tear that had slid down her cheek. She stood from her chair and walked over to the edge of the balcony, looking down into the now quiet clearing where the Fellowship had taken their meal. It was empty, save for one soul. 

Sorrow welled up in her as she watched Legolas sit still in the clearing, looking up at the sky as well. She was not sure if he knew she was watching, but she could not make herself look away. 

They had shared so much - good and bad. But there was so much more good there than bad. Yes, that last day in Mirkwood had been painful and shattered her. But standing here, watching him, she could not help but wonder if it was worth it to give up all the good just because of that day.

True, she did not think herself worthy of his forgiveness. But he appeared willing and eager to give it. 

Do you swear it? That you will never leave me?

I swear it… I will never leave your side. It is you and me - for always. 

Do you swear it?

I swear it. I will always be here for you. It is you and I from henceforth. Always.

Elanor continued to watch him, finding that something she had not felt in so very long begin to creep its way into her heart. 

Hope.

Perhaps… perhaps she could speak to him. Put aside all that kept her away from Mirkwood the last 100 years. Not right away, of course, but maybe it was still yet possible.

Notes:

And here we are finally to a brand-new chapter. I’m still writing Chapter 7 and then I’ve got a lot more to rewrite (which two more all new chapters to add in) so I’m not sure how soon I’ll post the next one. But wanted to give you guys something all new.

Thanks everyone for reading and following!