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Alone Once Again

Summary:

After accidently attacking Cicero in Morthal, Usaeleí abandons the jester in hopes of keeping him safe unaware of the consequences. However, in doing so makes the Lycandrake more and more aggressive and harder to control. Without an anchor the Argonian nearly becomes feral. Cicero fares no better but is able to keep sane (sort of) with the Night Mother.

Notes:

The chapters will alternate between Cicero and Usaeleí in terms of point of view so bear with the strange chapters.

Chapter 1: Alone

Summary:

Two weeks after leaving Morthal...

Chapter Text

Alone.... 

He was alone once more with only the cold biting wind of Skyrim upon his scales yet he could still feel his claws dripping with the hot blood he drew from the crazy fool. He struggled to keep his heterochromic eyes forward, focused on the faint worn out path before his feet and not turning to steal a glance at the now barely visible village behind him. He can't go back. He couldn't face Cicero after what happened. The look of terror still burning bright behind his eyes made Usaeleí shudder in self-loathing. 

A monster. 

That was what he was. No matter how much he wished it weren't true.

Usaeleí's PoV-

It had been nearly two weeks since Usaeleí parted from Cicero’s company and he was suffering worse than ever. The Argonian curled up within an abandoned bear cave after another rough night. He winced, his body sore and tender from several violent transformations that had occurred that day. He didn’t even have the strength to make a fire. The beast was becoming more incoherent and more feral which in turn had Usaeleí acting more animal than sentient. He kept reminding himself that was to keep himself from harming the few people he cared about. He already killed Vaka by accident when he first transformed as a hatchling. Usaeleí shuddered violently once more though he was fairly certain that it was not because he was cold. He remembered his claws rendering his egg-nurse's scaly body to a bloody heap. The sickening sweet scent of iron and copper tickling his senses in a teasing fashion. He could vividly remember his fangs clamping down through her throat, crushing the air from her lungs; her warm blood sliding down his throat. By Sithis, it tasted so sweet...

The young lycandrake shook his head angrily. Though the healer attempted to persuade him that it was not his fault. That he just needed someone to look into his condition and hopefully assist him in at least controlling what his urges, Usaeleí knew the truth. Deep down, he knew was a monster. He felt his eyelids grow heavy and he drifted off to sleep only to jolt awake from the agonizing pain of his spines piercing through his back. He clenched his fists and bared his fangs, digging his feet into the dirt beneath him, he clenched his abdomen in discomfort, growling when his own claws pierced through his own scaly hide. It was happening again. He then rammed his head against the wall of the cave causing some loose boulders to topple on him, pinning him to the ground knocking him unconscious. At least the pain had ceased. The beast was at least knocked unconscious for now. Another innocent was safe. At least Cicero was safe.

For now....