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Can't Tear Myself Away

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“Fuck, Harry. Faster.” Eggsy urged as the older man thrust up into him.

“You’re riding me.” Harry smirked. “Why am I still doing all of the work?” He thrust up at such an angle that made Eggsy cry out at the jarring of his prostate.

“Because we need to be quick.” Eggsy replied, pushing himself down as Harry thrust up again. They continued like this for about 10 more thrusts and then Eggsy tensed up, unexpectedly, and joined his lips to Harry’s as he came with a groan. With Eggsy tensing up and spasming around his cock, Harry stood no chance as his own orgasm was pulled from him, filling Eggsy to the brim. His seed spilled out of the young man as he pulled out and began to tidy himself up to leave. “Do you have to go so soon?” Eggsy asked, wrapping a sheet around himself before getting out of bed and stopping Harry as he got dressed. He pulled the older man into a brief kiss that Harry broke quickly.

“Your parents are going to be back soon. Do you want them to find out that I’ve been fucking their young son since he was 17?” Harry replied.

“Well, I wouldn’t suggest we begin the conversation with the fact that we’ve been having sex for 5 years and not told them but they’re going to find out at some point.” Eggsy stated. Harry sighed as he pulled the blonde into a kiss.

“Eggsy, you know I care about you but your parents will actually kill me for this.” Harry insisted.

“I think they’ll be more upset the longer we don’t tell them.” Eggsy argued.

“Eggsy! We’ve been over this, we’re not telling your parents.”


“There’s nothing to tell them, anyway. We’re not in a relationship, we have sex and yeah, it’s been fun but I don’t want to be in a relationship with you.” Harry snapped. Eggsy stepped back as though he’d been punched, trying not to cry in front of the man who’d just ripped his heart out and stomped on it.

“Well, if that’s how you really feel then maybe you should leave. And never come back. I don’t want to see you ever again.” Eggsy whispered, pushing past Harry to leave the room and running down the hall to the bathroom so he could lock the door behind him. Harry quickly dressed and left the house, needing the brisk walk to his own house to calm him down. Galahad couldn’t help but feel like he’d made the wrong decision, but it was too late to go back now. Honestly, Harry did want a relationship with Eggsy, he truly loved the young man, but there was too much he could lose over this. Maybe not his job (although that would depend on what they thought about Eggsy being 17 the first time Harry had slept with him) but he would certainly lose respect, or his friends. He’d definitely lose Lee and Michelle, which he wasn’t prepared to do.

When Eggsy heard the front door slam closed, he finally allowed himself to let spill the tears that had been threatening to fall since Harry had snapped at him. This was not how he’d expected the day to go. Eggsy allowed himself a few moments of being upset before pulling himself together. Harry clearly wasn’t worth it, no matter how in love with him Eggsy was. When Eggsy finished showering, he went back through to his room and put on some clothes to go out in. If he told Ryan, Jamal, Brandon and Liam that he needed a night out then no one would object. They all eagerly accepted when he messaged them on the group chat anyway. “Eggsy?” Michelle called up the stairs when she got in from work.

“Yeah, mum?” 

“What do you want for tea? Your dad and I were thinking of getting a takeaway.” She asked.

“I’m going out!” Eggsy replied. He’d finished getting ready now anyway and made his way downstairs.

“Eggsy, it’s a Friday.” Lee commented.


“Friday night is family night.” Lee reminded him, raising an eyebrow.

“Please? I’ve had a bad day and just want to be with my friends.” Eggsy requested.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Michelle asked, placing a hand on his arm.

“Honestly, I just want to get drunk. I’m 22 so it’s allowed.”

“As long as you’re safe. Call us if you need someone to come and get you.”

“So, what’s going on, bruv? I thought Friday night was family night. Or was that code for something?” Brandon asked as they all sat down with a pint and a round of shots. Eggsy grabbed a shot and downed it before opening his mouth.

“Just a bad day.” Eggsy replied. “And family night isn’t code for anything. I usually stay at home, have a takeaway and watch a film with my parents.”

“So what was so bad that you had to blow it off?” Jamal questioned. Eggsy picked up another shot glass and downed it before taking a mouthful of his beer.

“Oi, that wasn’t your shot!” Liam bitched.

“My fuck buddy ended things.” Eggsy acknowledged.

“So?” Liam queried.

“I’m in love with him and we’ve been fucking for the past 5 years.” Eggsy elaborated.

“Oh, fuck. Eggsy I’m sorry.” Brandon apologised.

“I just want to get drunk.” Eggsy commented. All of his friends handed him their shots.

“Let’s have another round.” Ryan suggested.

“Sounds like a plan.”

After far too many shots and beers later, Eggsy and his friends all went back to Brandon’s place to sleep it off. He’d sent his parents a text when his head was a bit clearer to let them know that he wouldn’t be coming home. Unfortunately, he didn’t feel any better about having gotten drunk, he knew that he wouldn’t but it had numbed his brain for a bit and he had forgotten about Harry and what had happened.

A couple of weeks later, Eggsy was still feeling like shit about Harry ending things, but he’d started getting ill. Michelle had noticed this and requested that Eggsy go to the doctor’s and see what was going on, and LEe had enforced that when he’d called, at the time, he’d been away on a mission for Kingsman, not that Eggsy and Michelle knew. Eggsy told them that he’d go on his day off, but he never went. Eggsy had a feeling that he knew what was going on, so he went and bought a pregnancy test. He clearly remembered how Harry came inside him, it was only when he thought back on it that he realised they hadn’t used a condom. Eggsy wasn’t surprised when the test was positive.

When Michelle got home, Lee wasn’t far behind. “Can we talk?” Eggsy asked, guiding them through to the sitting room. Eggsy sat himself on the sofa opposite his parents, not wanting to be sat next to them depending on how they reacted.

“What’s this about? Have you been to the doctor’s?” Michelle fretted.

“No.” Eggsy began but Michelle cut him off.

“Why not? You said you would go today because it’s your day off. When are you going to go?” Michelle scolded.

“I don’t need to go to the doctor’s.” Eggsy defended.

“You’re not well, Eggsy. We just want to know you’re okay.” 

“I’M NOT OKAY!” Eggsy shouted, standing up.

“Eggsy?” Lee asked.

“I’m pregnant.” He whispered, falling to sit back down, now crying. Lee and Michelle both jumped up and sat next to their son, pulling him into their arms. Eggsy covered his face with his hands, beginning to sob.

“I didn’t know you were seeing anyone, sweetheart.” Michelle spoke gently. She didn’t know how she hadn’t noticed this, he had been throwing up in the morning, he was unable to keep meals down, he was constantly tired, he was suffering from migraines and his mood swings were worse than when he was a teenager. And she was a nurse.

“I’m not.” He admitted, trying to bring his crying under control, having stopped sobbing.

“So you don’t know who the other father is?” She questioned.

“I do, but it doesn’t matter.” Eggsy replied.

“What do you mean it doesn’t matter?” Lee added. Eggsy let out a deep sigh as he nearly stopped crying, tears still flowing, but silently now. He didn’t really want to discuss his sex life with his parents.

“I, he, we were casual.” Eggsy answered.

“Surely he deserves to know he’s going to be a dad.” Michelle reasoned.

“He doesn’t want me.” Eggsy admitted.

“Doesn’t want you?” Lee queried.

“The last time I saw him, we had an argument. I wanted more and he said that the sex was fun but he doesn’t want to be with me.” Eggsy revealed, cheeks flushing.

“Oh, my baby.” Michelle sighed, pulling Eggsy against her tighter. Her heart broke for her son, how could anyone not want him?

“I still think he deserves to know.” Lee commented.

“Why? So he can choose to do the honourable thing? I want him to be with me because he wants to be and not because he’s obligated. And for some stupid reason, I still love him.” Eggsy spat, tears flowing out of control again as his body wracked with sobs. Lee and Michelle shared a look, they both wished there was something they could do to help their son.

When Eggsy was all cried out, he went up to lie down, feeling drained. Lee and Michelle stood in the kitchen with a glass of wine each. They never expected to come home from work and be told that they were going to be grandparents. “Has Eggsy ever mentioned this man to you?” Michelle asked.

“Nope, I wish he had though.” Lee replied.

“I want to find this man and kill him for hurting my Eggsy.” Michelle fumed.

“That won’t solve anything.” Lee commented.

“How could anyone not love our Eggsy?” Michelle questioned.

“Maybe this man does love Eggsy, maybe there’s another reason that he cut things off.” Lee suggested.

“Do you know something that you’re not telling me?”

“No, I’m just trying to think of why this man bailed on our son. I know as much as you do, which is what Eggsy has told us tonight.” Lee rolled his eyes.

“How did we not notice that our son is heartbroken?” Michelle asked, feeling like she’d failed him.

“Eggsy didn’t want us to know. If he had then I’m sure he would have mentioned it. Come to think of it, I’m sure that bad day he had must have been when this man ended things. He’s never missed family night before to go out and get drunk with his friends.” Lee theorised.

“I wonder if they know more than we do.” Michelle mused.

A few days later, Lee found himself back at Kingsman, having had some time off due to his return from a mission. “Ah, Gawain, did ye have a nice few days off?” Merlin asked when Lee came into his office. Harry was already there for whatever reason.

“I’ve had a weird few days off.” Lee replied.

“Why was that, Gawain?” Harry added, taking a mouthful of his tea.

“Eggsy hasn’t been right for a few weeks, there has been something going on, he went out to get drunk on family night about 3 weeks ago and he’s never missed family night before. We let him because he said it had been a bad day. Then he started getting ill. Michelle and I have begged him to go and see a doctor, although how we weren’t able to diagnose his symptoms ourselves, we’ll never know.” Lee explained.

“What were his symptoms?” Merlin asked, curious to see if he could guess. 

“He has been throwing up in the morning, he has been unable to keep meals down, constantly tired, he is suffering from migraines and his mood swings have been worse than when he was a teenager.” Lee expanded.

“Sounds like he might be pregnant.” Merlin theorised.

“He is.”

Harry spat out his tea. Even Merlin looked shocked.

“I didn’t know he was seeing anyone? Why didn’t you tell me? I would have done a background check on them?” Merlin questioned.

“He’s not seeing anyone, if he was I would definitely have given you a name.” Lee laughed.

“So what happened then, Gawain? Or didn’t he say?” Harry asked, needing to know how much Eggsy had told his dad. There was no way that baby wasn’t his.

“All he said was that he had a casual thing with someone who didn’t want anything more, when he did so this other guy broke it off, breaking my Eggsy’s heart and now he’s pregnant.” Lee explained.

“Is he going to tell the other father?” Merlin asked.

“He says not. He wants this guy to be with him for him and not out of obligation for the baby.” Lee replied.

“I understand where the lad is coming from but this other father deserves to know, surely.” Merlin commented.

“I think it would be safer for this guy to stay away. Michelle is out for blood.” Lee laughed. Harry felt like he couldn’t breathe.

“Excuse me.” He smiled, leaving the office.

“Really? He reacts like that and thinks we don’t know about him and Eggsy.” Lee scoffed.

“He’s so obvious.” Merlin stated.

“I have half a mind to let Michelle have him.” Lee commented.

“If you do, please let me be there.”

“How is he a spy? Honestly, we’ve known about him and Eggsy for the last 5 years.” Lee added.

“He still thinks no one knows other than him and Eggsy.” Merlin agreed. “Why did you tell him if Eggsy doesn’t want him to know?”

“Because they love each other and they need to pull their heads out of their asses and sort it out.” Lee answered.

After leaving Merlin’s office, Harry left HQ and got on the train back to the London shop. He wasn’t supposed to, he had things to do to prepare for his mission to Berlin later this week but he needed to see Eggsy, urgently. Thankfully, Eggsy wouldn’t be at work as he was a bartender at the local pub and he usually worked nights. Hopefully, Michelle was at the hospital. Much to Harry’s relief, Eggsy opened the door. “What are you doing here? I could have sworn I told you I never wanted to see you again.” Eggsy asked. He knew he was being rude but he had no obligations to be nice to Harry anymore. This man had stomped on his heart.

“Please can we talk?”

“Why?” Eggsy questioned, prepared to shut the door in Harry’s face.

“Becasue I know you’re pregnant.” Harry said.

“You’d better come in.”

Once inside, Eggsy led Harry up to his room, not wanting Lee or Michelle to see him if they came home. Eggsy sat down on the bed and encouraged Harry to sit beside him. “So, how do you know?” Eggsy asked, suspecting that his dad mentioned it.

“You dad was telling me that he had a weird few days off due to you telling him that you’re pregnant.” Harry confirmed.

“Look, I don’t want you to be here out of obligation, Harry. If you want to see your child then that’s fine by me, but you don’t owe me anything.” Eggsy said.

“Eggsy…” Harry breathed. “This has been the kick up the ass I needed, okay. I love you and I want to be with you.”

“Even though my parents are going to kill you?” Eggsy checked.

“As long as you know I love you, I can be at peace with my death.” Harry joked. Eggsy began to cry, pulling Harry into a hug. The older man wrapped his arms tightly around Eggsy as he cried.

“I love you, too.” Eggsy smiled when his tears had ceased. Harry brought their lips together in probably the most gentle kiss they had shared in 5 years.

“I hoped you’d make things right.” Lee commented from the doorway. Both Harry and Eggsy pulled away from each other quickly. Harry stood up to try and put some distance between himself and Eggsy.

“Dad? I’m really confused.” Eggsy said.

“Do you really think I’m that stupid? I know you and Harry have been sleeping together for the past 5 years.” Lee stated.

“And you don’t have a problem with that?” Harry checked.

“Not with the relationship, no. I do have an issue with you breaking my son’s heart. And I’m not thrilled that Eggsy was 17 in the beginning, but he was of legal age. I have half a mind to let Michelle deal with you.” Lee smirked. Harry was so relieved that he wasn’t going to lose Lee as a friend, although they would probably have a different relationship now.

“Dad, that’s not very fair.” Eggsy laughed.

“You still have to tell your mum. I’m not going to do it for you.” Lee warned him.

“What do you think mum will say when she finds out you’ve known for years?” Eggsy questioned, pulling Harry to sit back down next to him and leaning against him.

“Fuck, she’ll kill me for not telling her.” Lee realised. Eggsy couldn’t help but laugh, at least he and Harry had sorted things out.

When Michelle got home from the hospital that night, she was surprised to find Eggsy and Lee making their tea with Harry, one of Lee’s colleagues. “Harry! I didn’t know you would be joining us tonight.” Michelle greeted, pulling the man into a hug.

“Neither did I.” Harry smiled.

“What brings you here?” She asked.

“Why don’t you go and get changed whilst we finish making food and then we can catch up over tea?” Lee suggested, wanting to give Eggsy and Harry, as well as himself some time to prepare. Michelle happily accepted the advice, unaware of the inner turmoil all three men were facing. Shortly after, Michelle had changed and come back downstairs whilst Lee, Eggsy and Harry had finished the food and set the table.

The meal passed quite nicely to begin with, Michelle had asked Harry and Lee about the day they'd had at work, she’d then faced the same question and went into detail about what had happened during her day - nothing terribly exciting as far as Lee, Eggsy and Harry were concerned but they daren’t say that to her. “So, what are you doing here?” Michelle asked, turning to Harry during a lapse of silence. Eggsy and Harry shared a look.

“Um.” Harry began, looking at Lee.

“What’s going on?” Michelle asked.

“Can we do this after tea?” Lee questioned.

“No. There’s something you’re not telling me and I want to know right now.”

“Eggsy and I are seeing each other.” Harry blurted. Michelle’s eyes widened before quickly narrowing.

“I beg your pardon?”

“Harry and I are together, mum.” Eggsy repeated.

“So, you’re the one that broke my baby’s heart and knocked him up.” Michelle accused.

“I mean, yes. But we’ve talked things through and we’re okay.” Eggsy assured.

“You are the same age and me and Lee. And you’re sleeping with our son. How long?” Michelle frowns, glaring at Harry.

“Does that really matter?” Harry asked, nervously.

“Yes.” Michelle stated.

“Mum I really don’t think it matters.” Eggsy tried.

“How long?” Michelle demanded.

“5 years.” Lee replied, throwing himself in the firing line. Michelle looked murderous and got up from her chair, walking over to Harry. She didn’t appear to have realised who said it.

“Mum…” Eggsy tried.


“It’s okay.” Harry assured. Michelle lashed out and punched Harry in the groin before returning to her seat and carrying on with her meal. Eggsy got up and rushed over to Harry.

“I’m so sorry.” Eggsy whispered, crouching at Harry’s side.

“It’s okay, I promise. I deserved that.” Harry smiled as he cupped his hurt genitals. Eggsy, no longer caring about the opinions of his parents, surged forwards and pressed a bruising kiss to Harry’s lips. After they broke apart, everyone resumed their meals. Michelle seemed content with Harry now for the rest of the meal. It was obvious that she still had lots of opinions about it but kept them to herself, for today at least. 

When the meal was over, Harry helped Lee to clean up whilst Michelle and Eggsy went through to the main room. “Thank you.” Harry smiled.

“Look, you make him happy. Just don’t fuck it up again. She’ll do more than punch you in the dick.” Lee warned.

“I know how lucky I am to have Eggsy, and how lucky I am that he’s forgiven me. I know he’s too young for me, but you don’t choose who you fall for. I truly believe Eggsy is the one for me.” Harry agreed.


As soon as everything was clean and put away, Harry grabbed his coat and put on his shoes. “I must be going.” He told everyone.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Harry.” Lee smiled, shaking Harry’s hand.

“You’ll have to join us again soon.” Michelle offered.

“I would love to.” Harry accepted. Eggsy led Harry to the door, pulling him into another kiss.

“I love you.” Eggsy said.

“I love you, too. Good night.”

“Night.” Eggsy beamed. Once Harry had gone, Eggsy took himself upstairs. Even though his mum had hit Harry, he honestly didn’t think the meal could have gone better.

“5 years, that’s crazy.” Michelle commented.

“It is.” Lee agreed.

“So, how long have you been keeping it from me?” Michelle asked. Lee’s eyes widened. He had hoped Michelle had not realised he had been the one to tell her that particular truth, despite willingly giving that information.