VOICEOVER: [ With their Monday ritual meeting complete, most of the staff are preparing to leave the meeting room when their esteemed president and CEO, one Kim Dokja of a tender 28 years of age, stops them. He has a very specific matter on his mind today. ]
"Please sit down, everyone. I have some things I have to ask you."
Han Sooyoung, CFO and de facto leader of the corporation known as Kim Dokja's Company, groaned as she pulled out her chair again. "Is this about the finances again? Because I already told you I'm on my period this week and not in the mood to embezzle funds."
"You don't have to be in the mood to embezzle funds, you just do," Jung Heewon snapped.
"And that's exactly why I'm CFO and you're a lowly saleswoman. A brute like you wouldn't understand the delicate intricacies of balancing accounts without actually balancing them because you're pocketing money on the side—"
Chief Human Resources Officer Yoo Sangah smoothly inserted herself between the two before a fight could break out. "Let's just sit down and hear what Dokja-ssi has to say," she said, placing placating hands on their shoulders.
Kim Dokja shot her a grateful smile, and she smiled back. There was no way he'd be able to stay out of trouble with KOSHA, the Korean Occupational Safety and Health Administration and KDC's greatest nemesis, if she weren't here to prevent the bloodshed from happening.
After everyone settled back in their seats, Kim Dokja spoke again. "You guys have probably noticed that one member of our company is currently missing from the table—"
"My dog," said Shin Yoosung.
"Well yes but actually no, because I don't pay him—"
"Then it has to be Lee Gilyoung," Shin Yoosung said firmly. “Is he skipping work again?”
"Are you blind? I'm sitting right beside you," said Lee Gilyoung.
"You're so short that I can't see your head over the table."
Kim Dokja made eye contact with Yoo Sangah, and she dutifully got out of the seat to break up that fight before it happened.
"Is it Gong Pildu?" asked Lee Hyunsung.
Their illustrious and honourable president frowned in confusion. "Who's that again?"
"He owns the building our company's located in."
"Oh, right," Kim Dokja said dismissively. "I guess there are two people missing from the table then. Also, when I say a cryptic statement like 'one member of our company is currently missing', it's not actually an invitation to interrupt me and guess who it is."
"Don't be so damned cryptic next time then," said Han Sooyoung.
"Duly noted." Kim Dokja cleared his throat. "Anyway, the person missing from the table is Yoo Joonghyuk, so you guys can stop guessing now. Sangah-ssi and I recently received an anonymous human resources complaint against him, and—"
"It was me," said Shin Yoosung, raising her hand.
"Yoosung-ah, you're supposed to remain anonymous."
Shin Yoosung lowered her hand. "It wasn't me then."
"Please stop interrupting me or the number of hyphens in this text is going to be astronomical," said Kim Dokja, sighing. "As I was saying, an anonymous employee filed a complaint against Yoo Joonghyuk about him monopolizing the, and I quote, 'expensive as fuck espresso machine that belongs to Han Sooyoung.'" He paused for a moment. "Firstly, I'm starting to doubt Yoosung-ah actually filed this complaint, and secondly, Han Sooyoung, since when did you own an espresso machine here at the office?"
"Since last week."
"Did you bring your coffee machine from home to work? Doesn't it weigh like 50 pounds?"
"No, I'm not stupid," she scoffed. "I bought one with the company credit card and had it delivered here directly."
"I didn't know we had company credit cards," said Kim Dokja.
"Well, when I say 'company' I really mean 'Kim Dokja'. I signed up for a credit card under your name."
"That's identity theft," said Jung Heewon.
Han Sooyoung rapped her knuckles against the wooden table in annoyance. "Can you hurry up and end the meeting already? I want my espresso machine back and I want to have lunch."
"We'll talk about your illegal activities another time," their dignified and well-respected president replied. "Back to the topic of Yoo Joonghyuk now, I wanted to ask if any of you had any information regarding the situation or any thoughts on what a suitable punishment may be."
"You could get him to let you top for once," said Han Sooyoung.
"There are children here," Yoo Sangah said mildly.
“It’s okay, I’m an expert on this topic,” said Lee Jihye, placing her hand over her heart.
“I wasn’t referring to you, Jihye.”
“Is this about the games Dokja-hyung and Joonghyuk-hyung say they’re staying after work in the office to play?” Lee Gilyoung asked innocently.
Shin Yoosung stepped on his foot under the table, and he kicked her in the shins.
“You guys do it in the office?” Jung Heewon wrinkled her nose in disgust. “Gross.”
Kim Dokja pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. "Please stop speculating about the nature of my relationship with Yoo Joonghyuk,” he told them in a solemn voice. “He's your vice president and should be treated with respect he may or may not deserve—"
"Wait, he's the vice president?” asked Han Sooyoung. “I thought he was your secretary, the kind you sleep with on a regular basis."
"I'm not even going to respond to that statement," said Kim Dokja. "Besides, you have no proof whatsoever that I would bottom—"
"Says the person with Tareme eyes in the webtoon adaptation.”
"You can’t use that as your only source of information," Kim Dokja protested. "If you look at the official illustrations for the—why am I even arguing about this with you? Meeting dismissed, everyone out."
As his employees cheered and filed out of the meeting room, Kim Dokja turned to the camera documenting the events and sighed. "I can't count on anyone around here," he said, shaking his head. "I guess I'll have to confront the man myself."
VOICEOVER: [ President Kim Dokja decides to approach the offender, Vice President Yoo Joonghyuk, himself. This is a dangerous task that is definitely not for the faint of heart. ]
The cameraman followed him as he made his way down the hallway towards Yoo Joonghyuk's office, which was nestled away in a hidden alcove. Kim Dokja strode inside without bothering to knock. Yoo Joonghyuk, who was doing something on his computer, looked up with an annoyed frown. "What are you doing here?" he demanded.
"I should be the one asking you that. Why weren't you at the weekly meeting?"
Yoo Joonghyuk turned back to his computer screen. "I just wasn't."
"Can you at least look at people when they're trying to talk to you?" Yoo Joonghyuk begrudgingly spun around in his chair to face him. "I recently received an anonymous report that you've been monopolizing Han Sooyoung's elitist espresso machine—oh look, here it is." Kim Dokja walked over to the silver machine sitting in the corner of the office and patted its casing. "Why do you have this here?"
"Who filed the report?" Yoo Joonghyuk asked coldly.
"What are you going to do to them if I tell you?"
"None of your business."
"I asked you a question first," said Kim Dokja. "Why do you have Han Sooyoung's espresso machine in your office?"
"It's not hers."
"Although I agree with your statement in principle since she bought it using my credit card, I still need to know why you were keeping it in your office. You don't even drink coffee."
Yoo Joonghyuk crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I was preventing her from using it."
"Let me get this straight," said Kim Dokja. “You were hoarding the espresso machine in your office because you didn't want Han Sooyoung to use it, even though she was the one who bought it in the first place."
"Why didn't you want her to use it?"
"She seems to derive enjoyment from making herself a perfect cup of coffee, so I wanted to deprive her of that," Yoo Joonghyuk said calmly. "She also claims to suffer mentally and emotionally when her access to caffeine is restricted, which suits my purposes well. And it's loud and gets on my nerves."
"That's very sadistic of you," Kim Dokja remarked.
Kim Dokja pressed his lips together and stared at him in an unimpressed silence. Yoo Joonghyuk stared back.
"What's your title, Yoo Joonghyuk?" he asked out of the blue.
"What's your job here at the office?"
Yoo Joonghyuk gave him an indecipherable look. "Pleasuring the presi—"
"That's enough!" Kim Dokja lunged across the table and slapped his palm over his mouth before he could finish his sentence, ignoring the dirty glare he got in return. "The vice president's job is to promote harmony in the office and cooperation amongst employees, not actively ruin the CFO's day with your sadistic tendencies." He took a deep breath in. "Due to your irresponsible behaviour, I'm going to have to punish you by, uh, demoting you to Secretary."
"I don't care," said Yoo Joonghyuk. His voice was muffled by Kim Dokja’s hand.
"And I'm docking your pay."
"Still don't care."
"And you have to help me carry this machine out of here."
VOICEOVER: [ At the end of the day, the machiavallien
Vice President Secretary Yoo Joonghyuk was thoroughly punished for his wrongdoings, and peace was restored to Kim Dokja's Company by the distinguished and venerable President Kim Dokja. ]
"I am glad I was able to act as a positive influence on my employees today," Kim Dokja said to the camera as he wiped his hand on his pants. "Even though they're difficult and disrespectful people, they are still an integral part of my company, and I wouldn't be here without them."