Chapter 1: the beginning
[Admin] Ladybug has added ChatNoir to the chat!
[Admin] Ladybug has added RenaRouge to the chat!
[Admin] Ladybug has added Carapace to the chat!
[Admin] Ladybug has added Honeybee to the chat!
[Admin] Ladybug renamed the chat ‘operation kick hawkmoth’s ass’
ChatNoir renamed themselves PurrfectlyPawsome.
PurrfectlyPawsome: Yes! A group chat!
PurrfectlyPawsome: does this mean I can send cat memes?
Ladybug: This chat was created for professional purposes only, so I’m going to establish some ground rules.
PurrfectlyPawsome: aww bugaboo whyyyy
Ladybug: 1. NO DISCLOSING ANY INFORMATION PERTAINING TO YOUR SECRET IDENTITIES!!!
Ladybug: 2. If you do find out someone else’s identity, let me know asap so we can work it out.
Ladybug: 3. This chat was created so we could get in contact with each other in civilian form in case of emergencies. Don’t spam or bother with unnecessary texts.
Ladybug: Why do I feel like that last rule is already being disregarded?
RenaRouge has renamed themselves LadyNoir4Ever.
Carapace has renamed themselves NinjaTurtle.
Honeybee has renamed themselves LesBEEan.
LadyNoir4Ever: OH MY GOD
LadyNoir4Ever: IS THIS REAL
NinjaTurtle: rena chill it’s just a group chat
NinjaTurtle: i can hear u screaming from my house
LesBEEan: uhhh u okay there foxy lady
LadyNoir4Ever: IM IN A GROUP CHAT
LadyNoir4Ever: WITH LADYBUG!!!!
PurrfectlyPawsome: Yeah I understand how you feel Rena. This is paw-some, being able to text m’lady in civilian form.
Ladybug: yup, rule #3 is out the window.
Ladybug: Anyway, I have an announcement to make.
LesBEEan: we’re listening
LesBEEan: or watching, i guess
Ladybug: you all are getting your miraculouses permanently!
NinjaTurtle: that’s awesome dude!
PurrfectlyPawsome: I already have my miraculous purr-manently, my lady
LesBEEan: what changed?
Ladybug: Since I’m the Guardian now, I decide the rules.
Ladybug: and I want you guys to be able to show up at the scene without one of us leaving the fight to get your miraculous and track you down
Ladybug: that was getting really inconvenient.
Ladybug: Anyways, expect a visit from either me or Chat tonight with your jewelry.
LadyNoir4Ever: yes! thank you ladybug!
NinjaTurtle: thanks dude
NinjaTurtle: i mean ladybug
Ladybug: You can call me dude, Carapace. I don’t mind.
NinjaTurtle: thanks dude
Ladybug: I swear to FUCKING GOD HAWKMOTH I’M GOING TO KILL YOU
Ladybug: akuma near the arc de triomphe. Bring the whole crew.
LesBEEan: I’ll bee there soon
LadyNoir4Ever: ETA seven mins
NinjaTurtle: on my way.
PurrfectlyPawsome: Honeybee, was that a bee pun?
LesBEEan: I’m sorry, honeybee isn’t here right now. Leave a message after the tone. Beeeeeeep.
Ladybug: guys. The fight.
(4: 32 am)
Ladybug: when we find and unmask hawkmoth
Ladybug: y’all are getting in line behind me
Ladybug: i call dibs on kicking his sorry ass first
LadyNoir4Ever: wow. being full time is so much harder
NinjaTurtle: it’s been one fight
NinjaTurtle: and i already miss not having to get up at ungodly hours
PurrfectlyPawsome: I have never felt that sensation ☹
PurrfectlyPawsome: I get up really early either way, so losing a couple hours doesn’t really make a difference unless it happens a couple days in a row
LadyNoir4Ever: wow im sorry
LesBEEan: I’m trying to sleep shut the fuck up
Ladybug: sorry Honeybee
LesBEEan: I officially hate Hawkmoth more than Gabriel Agreste.
LesBEEan: am calling dibs on second after LB
Ladybug: don’t forget guys! We have patrol tonight!
Ladybug: usually, chat and I have a rotating schedule, but since we have more heroes now, we want to add you into the loop as well
PurrfectlyPawsome: Patrol is a paw-some way to stay in shape and enjoy the fresh air! Also, you guys can get used to your powers since you haven’t really gotten to purr-actice with them outside of battles.
Ladybug: Eiffel Tower at 10 pm, everyone!
LadyNoir4Ever: yes! my first patrol! So excited!
NinjaTurtle: rena n i will come for sure
LesBEEan: i’ll bee there
PurrfectlyPawsome: There it is again!!!
LesBEEan: buzz off.
PurrfectlyPawsome: I don’t know whether to feel proud or insulted.
LesBEEan: u can bee both, u know.
Ladybug: why are there two of them now somebody help
LadyNoir4Ever: that was awesome!
LesBEEan: hey LB
LesBEEan: I was thinking
LesBEEan: can we add the other temporary holders to this chat too?
LesBEEan: because even tho they’re not permanent, they should have a chance to talk w the rest of us too
LesBEEan: and that way we can let them kno ahead of time if they’re getting a miraculous for a battle
Ladybug: that’s a great idea Honeybee!
Ladybug: I’ll track them down tomorrow and have them make new accounts so I can add them.
Ladybug: thanks for the suggestion!
LesBEEan: i try
Chapter 2: new members
in which Ladybug brings in the temporary holders for even more chaos in the group chat.
I have no idea how to write Luka. This becomes pretty obvious later on.
[Admin] Ladybug has added Viperion to the chat!
[Admin] Ladybug has added Ryuko to the chat!
[Admin] Ladybug has added KingMonkey to the chat!
[Admin] Ladybug has added Pegasus to the chat!
[Admin] Ladybug has added Bunnyx to the chat!
Viperion has renamed themselves hiss.
KingMonkey has renamed themselves MonkeyMaster.
Bunnyx has renamed themselves ICanSeeYourFuture.
MonkeyMaster: wait u can???
ICanSeeYourFuture: well sort of
ICanSeeYourFuture: I don’t have my miraculous yet so no
ICanSeeYourFuture: but future me can
hiss: lol wut
Ladybug: welcome to the group chat guys!
Ladybug: there are some ground rules in the #rules section, but as number 3 is being disregarded anyway, just ignore it.
Ryuko: Thank you for the invitation, Ladybug. As I have many events in my civilian life, I do not believe I will be online often.
Ladybug: that’s alright Ryuko! This is mainly so you can know if you’re getting your miraculous ahead of time.
Pegasus: I am almost always online. If not, I will probably respond in 15-20 minutes.
MonkeyMaster: dude do u sleep at all
Pegasus: I am choosing to ignore that question.
hiss: uhhh just in case, I’m going to tell you that it’s not healthy.
Pegasus: I am well aware of the health conditions that can be caused by fatigue and lack of sleep.
Pegasus: I am just
Pegasus: constantly coming up with new ideas and I have to write them down or bring them to life.
MonkeyMaster: wow you sound just like my friend
Ladybug: NO IDENTITY STUFF KING MONKEY!!!!!!!
MonkeyMaster: right sorry LB
Ladybug: why does everyone call me that?
LadyNoir4Ever: heyyy we got new people!
LadyNoir4Ever: im rena btw
LadyNoir4Ever: the #1 ladynoir shipper
PurrfectlyPawsome: Hey! I’m the number 1 shipper!
LadyNoir4Ever: u can be second u mangy alley cat
PurrfectlyPawsome: anyway, I can prove I’m number one
PurrfectlyPawsome: I’ve read every single fic on ao3 that has LadyNoir as a tag.
hiss: should I be concerned?
LesBEEan: nah don’t worry he’s just like that
LadyNoir4Ever: oh yeah?
LadyNoir4Ever: who’s ur favorite ladynoir writer then
PurrfectlyPawsome: ooh I really enjoy reading LuckyLadyNoir’s works. They’re really good!
LadyNoir4Ever: I BEAT YOU!
NinjaTurtle: that’s rena’s fanfic account
NinjaTurtle: im with her rn and she’s literally cackling
ICanSeeTheFuture: well rip
MonkeyMaster: f for chat
Ladybug: wow I leave for like half an hour
Ladybug: and I come back to a war
Ladybug: over who ships me with chat more?
Ladybug: why me
Ladybug: just so you guys know, there’s a guy in my civilian life that I like
Ladybug: he doesn’t return my feelings, but I don’t want to be the ‘my top pick didn’t like me back so I’m going to go for the one who does like me’ kind of person
Ladybug: and I don’t want chat to be a rebound. He’s too sweet for that, and deserves someone who can love him as much as he deserves
PurrfectlyPawsome: aww m’lady (=♡ ᆺ ♡=)
PurrfectlyPawsome: I don’t deserve you
Ladybug: nonsense. You deserve the world.
LadyNoir4Ever: screenshotted omg my ship
LadyNoir4Ever: but lb r u sure ur ‘other guy’ isn’t chat?
Ladybug: I’m almost 100% positive. The guy in my civilian life is nothing like chat lmao
Ladybug: but chat!!! Don’t change yourself to appeal to me, please
Ladybug: I like you just the way you are
PurrfectlyPawsome: but not enough, obviously.
Direct Messages @Pegasus @Ladybug
Pegasus: Hello Ladybug. I have a question.
Ladybug: Sure! Ask away.
Pegasus: do our magical devices link to our civilian phones? I’ve never had the time to check.
Ladybug: they do. That’s why I don’t need my civilian phone to alert you guys of an akuma attack. It still works if I’m transformed. The only difference is that our superhero contacts disappear. I can’t contact Chat Noir’s baton or phone.
Pegasus: thank you.
Pegasus: you mentioned having superhero contacts in your phone, correct?
Ladybug: Yup! If I open the contacts in my yoyo, I can call the Guardian, who’s the only one that can have a civilian phone in the yoyo, or any of you guys. They’re labelled with the word ‘Ally’ next to it.
Pegasus: can you see their contacts when they aren’t transformed?
Ladybug: I can, but if I text them, they won’t know until the next time they transform. Calls will go to voicemail.
Pegasus: alright. I have the information I need to make a hypothesis. Thank you.
Ladybug: no problem!
Ladybug: akuma @ the Dupain-cheng bakery
Ladybug: gigantitan again, with a cupcake sentimonster
Ladybug: crashed straight through the top of the building when he grew, currently evacuating civilians
PurrfectlyPawsome: omg is marinette ok
LesBEEan: omw but chat what
PurrfectlyPawsome: my purrincess! Marinette!
LadyNoir4Ever: AAAAAA ANOTHER SHIP
NinjaTurtle: she means we’re coming, LB. We’re coming.
MonkeyMaster: need any assistance? 😉
Ladybug: nah it’s a baby we’re good but thanks
LadyNoir4Ever: so chat
LadyNoir4Ever: what was that all about
ICanSeeYourFuture: I’d like to know why chat has a purrincess too
PurrfectlyPawsome: Oh you mean Marinette!
PurrfectlyPawsome: she’s just a friend
NinjaTurtle: dude u sound just like one of my friends
PurrfectlyPawsome: I’m serious! I met her during the Evillustrator thing because he tried to date her and stuff, and then we just kept on hanging out at her balcony!
LadyNoir4Ever: sounds pretty romantic to me
PurrfectlyPawsome: SHE’S JUST A FRIEND
PurrfectlyPawsome: a very good friend
PurrfectlyPawsome: but JUST A FRIEND nonetheless
LesBEEan: sure whatever you say chat
LadyNoir4Ever: if ur also shipping marichat in spite of mari’s crush say eye
Ladybug: why on earth-
Pegasus: statistically speaking, there is a 94.8% chance that chat will harbor romantic feelings for Marinette Dupain-Cheng in the future, a 97.2% chance he is already harboring feelings but hasn’t realized it yet, and a 100% chance that chat is an oblivious idiot.
Ryuko: I agree that Chat is an oblivious idiot.
PurrfectlyPawsome: did you seriously log on just to say that?
Ryuko: I had some free time so I signed in and saw Pegasus’ message. It was a purrfect opportunity.
Ryuko: I believe I used that pun correctly.
Ryuko: Why isn’t anybody responding?
Ladybug: You broke them all ryuko
Ladybug: chat and I were patrolling since it’s a Saturday and we were bored
Ladybug: he’s sobbing on a roof
NinjaTurtle: can confirm rena is also crying
LadyNoir4Ever: SHES TOO PRECIOUS AEWLKSFDJNV
ICanSeeYourFuture: I hear violent sobbing. I think it might be one of you.
LesBEEan: oh good lord chat why are u crying on my roof
Ladybug: !no identities!
LesBEEan: nobody knows which roof he’s crying on
LesBEEan: plus u two know anyway so…
Ladybug: as long as nobody in this chat sees him crying on a roof we’re good
Chapter 3: Chapter 3
The kwamis hijack the chat, Honeybee connects the dots, and Pegasus is... up to something.
Way to procrastinate, Phi. Just- way to go. I am evidently terrible at writing multi-chaptered fics. I have a thing all plotted out, but I'm still working on writing it and it's just all one very large mess.
Direct Messages @Honeybee @Ladybug
Honeybee: i know u said to tell u if we figured out anyone else’s identities
Honeybee: except i kinda know who everyone is now?
Ladybug: oh fuck
Ladybug: ok chloe gimme a moment to scream into a pillow I’ll get back to you I promise
Ladybug: alright I’m good
Ladybug: well kinda I’m still panicking
Honeybee: don’t worry me too
Ladybug: It’s not that I don’t trust you, it’s just that it’s so weird for someone to know? Other than the guardian ofc
Honeybee: all the ships and lovesquares are literally driving me nuts
Ladybug: I have no clue what you’re talking about?
Honeybee: how did u feel abt the chat shipping both hero u and civilian u with chat noir
Ladybug: oh yeah that ugh
Ladybug: why can’t they understand that I don’t like him that way???
Ladybug: plus they all know marinette likes Adrien jeez
Honeybee: oh my god im gonna go gray because of this
Honeybee: i mean
Honeybee: i agree with u that they shouldn’t force u to be with him just because ur partners and stuff
Honeybee: but what if he’s not the kind of person u think he is under the mask?
Honeybee: the same way marinette is clumsier, more shy and awkward and stuff
Ladybug: don’t forget insecure
Honeybee: im just saying, he could also be socially awkward and shy
Ladybug: nah I can’t see chat’s civilian form being anything like that lol
Ladybug: he’s like the exact opposite of Adrien you know what I mean
Honeybee: why do i even bother
PurrfectlyPawsome has renamed themselves Camembert
Camembert: he won’t feed me cheese
Pegasus: Chat, are you feeling alright?
LadyNoir4Ever: youre not chat
Ladybug: oh hi plagg is that you
Ladybug: hold on lemme get tikki
Camembert: yes bring me sugarcube
Ladybug: plagg! you know you’re not supposed to take your holder’s phone!
Camembert: he wont feed me cheeseeee
Camembert: anyway, he won’t know he’s at an event
ICanSeeYourFuture: uh can someone explain what is going on
LadyNoir4Ever: i have no clue
Ladybug: oh I’m ladybug’s kwami, tikki and @Camembert is plagg, chat’s kwami
MonkeyMaster: nice to meet u plagg and tikki
NinjaTurtle: sup dudes
LadyNoir4Ever: trixx says hi!!!
LesBEEan: pollen sends her regards.
Ladybug: hi trixx! hi pollen!
ICanSeeYourFuture: hi tikki and plagg
hiss: if possible, could you say hello to sass for me?
Ladybug: oh! About that
Ladybug: this is ladybug again, btw
Ladybug: I can arrange visits with ur kwamis if u want
Ladybug: it cant happen too often, but I could stop by ur homes with your kwamis so u can say hi
Ladybug: or I could just let them loose in the group chat but I don’t think that’s a great idea lol
Pegasus: I think the visits would be the optimal solution. I would enjoy a visit from Kaalki.
MonkeyMaster: xuppu and me have stuff we need to do
hiss: sass is probably dying to give me another lecture lmao
hiss: i did save up to buy a huge supply of raw eggs if needed
ICanSeeYourFuture: can I meet the fluff from this timeline?
Ladybug: sure bunnyx! And king monkey- you can prank, but nothing drastic!
Ryuko: I have a break during practice and just saw the messages. If it is possible, I would like to see Longg again too.
Ladybug: done. I’ll dm you guys to work out times and dates.
MonkeyMaster: thanks lb!
hiss: we really appreciate it.
Camembert: where’s my cheese
Direct Messages @Pegasus @Ladybug
Pegasus: I believe I have some valuable information, but I’d like to test my hypothesis with my miraculous.
Pegasus: this could be a major breakthrough.
Ladybug: I trust your judgement. I’m lending it to you for the week, I’ll drop it off tomorrow at 4:15 pm. That can also be your visit with Kaalki. Sound good?