Kristoff could still remember it with vivid detail. But he wished with all of his being that he didn’t.
It was the moment that gave him nightmares.
He’s always had them, from when he was alone as a child in the woods before he found refuge with the trolls to when he was teased by the other ice harvesters when he first started out. They faded away over time and completely went away once he met Anna.
This particular one stayed with him for much longer.
He was always running as fast as he possibly could, over the crumbling dam, hoping with all of his might that he would reach her in time. He almost didn’t. And he remembered the look of utter fear on Anna’s face, her red hair whipping behind her as she fell down below.
In this nightmare, he didn’t catch her.
Her own eyes were wide with fear, just like on that day. Her arms were still reaching out to him as she fell even faster down to the raging waves below.
Her mouth was open in a silent scream, yet it was ringing in his ear.
He was left watching, his sobs wracking his body on the bridge as his world fell apart and he fell after her.
He was shaken awake, his bare chest clammy with sweat and his nose and eyes hot with brimming tears. Anna’s hands were gripping his shoulders as she peered down at him.
“Kristoff, are you okay?” Anna’s worried voice brought him back to reality. He was in their bedroom, back at the castle in Arendelle. Their home. The soft sheets and woolen blanket teased his skin, but it served as a reminder that he wasn’t back in time—he wasn’t at the dam and it wasn’t falling around him.
Anna was safe and sound. He had reached her in time.
With a sigh he quickly sat up and wrapped his arms around her in a tight hug. Anna stayed still in his arms, warm and soft.
“Kristoff?” Her voice was quiet.
“I dreamt that—” He shuddered. “I dreamt that I’d lost you. On that day on the dam.”
He could tell that Anna understood completely from the way she slightly shifted in his arms to wrap her own arms tightly around his neck.
“It’s okay. I’m here safe and sound.”
Kristoff was only slightly soothed by her reassurance.
Because it wasn’t the fact that Anna had put her life in danger that scared him. It wasn’t that she had recklessly decided to destroy the dam by having giant living mountains throw giant rocks at them.
It was the acceptance in her eyes. The resolution in them that showed that she would accept her fate as she almost fell. The defeat in them, as he would later learn that was spurred on from learning that Elsa died.
“Anna, you don’t understand.”
He pulled away from her and her face dropped. Her eyebrows furrowed with worry.
“I just don’t want you to be so reckless anymore.” He grasped her hand and held it over his heart, which was still beating quickly from adrenaline. He was sure that she could feel it.
“That day, it just reminded me of how you would put your life in danger for your sister without thinking. If I weren’t there to catch you, you would have died.” He tore his eyes away from hers that looked at him so desperately, trying to understand. He shut his eyes, almost unable to hold back the tears at the thought of Anna really falling into the rushing river.
“I don’t want to think about what would have happened next.”
“Oh Kristoff,” Anna’s own eyes were now glistening with the telltale sign of tears. “I know. I don’t know what I was thinking. Once Olaf had melted away, I knew Elsa was dead.” She couldn’t look into his eyes as she said it, instead placing her gaze in their joined hands.
She took a deep breath which fanned over his neck.
“I thought life wasn’t worth living for anymore, if it wasn’t with her.”
“And what about me?” His voice was soft.
Anna stiffened and looked up at him. “What?” she breathed out.
“What about me? Don’t I matter too?”
“Kristoff, of course you do!”
“You were ready to die because you thought Elsa had died. You had left along with Elsa without telling me where you were going.” His heart hurt at the thought. Just like how his own parents had left him, Anna was ready to leave too.
“No, Kristoff! I just was so angry. I wasn’t thinking clearly.”
“Forget it.” Kristoff couldn’t take it anymore. Don’t think about it. Face it later. He thought to himself. He shifted her so she wasn’t in his embrace anymore and rolled over to try and sleep again. Facing away from her and the harsh truth that he didn’t matter to her as much as Elsa did.
He could hear Anna’s soft sniffles behind him and he felt bad. A little.
He was still angry at the thought that she would die if Elsa had really died. He would have been left alone with Sven,just like before. He would have had to survive without her warm smiles, her hugs, and her kiss.
And she didn’t come to him for solace. He never crossed her mind at that point.
The air around them seemed to quiet at the growing tension, and it itched at his skin to be able to talk to her freely, for her to understand.
After a little while her voice broke through the tense air.
“I was scared too, you know.”
Kristoff stayed quiet.
She continued on. “I was so angry at Elsa for sending me away with Olaf. She wouldn’t tell me what was going on and I thought we would do it together. She promised that she would. And she broke it.”
He listened to her but showed no response.
“I was alone for so long that I was so attached to her once she had become queen and opened the gates. I was just—I was so lonely as a child. Kristoff, I would talk to the stupid paintings around the castle. I didn’t want her to leave, let alone die.”
She took a deep, shuddering breath. “So on that day, I was blinded by anger and sadness. She was the only family I had left, even if she only came out of her room for three years. I didn’t want to think about anything except for destroying that stupid dam that took her away.”
He felt her shiver, even if they weren’t touching.
“But when I saw you as I fell, I was afraid of dying. It meant that I didn’t get to be with you, or live the rest of our lives together. I saw what would have been our future flashing before my eyes before I knew it. I saw little children running around and I wanted that back. I wanted all of that back.”
She sniffled and he turned around and sat up to face her yet again, seeing her face blotchy and red and gripping the blanket by her waist tightly. He cupped her face with his hand and wiped a tear away.
“I’m sorry for making you feel that you didn’t matter as much as Elsa did. I was so angry, and I still kind of am to be honest.” She paused to look at him, her eyes wide and brimming with all of the love and truthfulness of her words.
“You do matter. More than anything in the world, Kristoff. I’m so grateful that you caught me in time. Please believe me.”
He knew his own eyes were glassy with tears, but as he looked into hers, he felt some drip down his face. Anna leaned up to place a kiss on his cheek. As she pulled away he caught her eyes once more.
“I believe you, Anna.”
Her soft smile lit up his world as he said them.
“And—” she placed a finger on his lips as he moved to kiss her. “I promise I won’t be as reckless. I won’t put my life in danger like that anymore.”
Kristoff smiled at her and placed a kiss on her forehead, shifting so she was in his lap. “Thank you. Please try and keep that promise.”
Anna’s smile grew wider and slightly mischievous.
“I will. Especially since I’ll have someone else to take care of soon.”
Her hand slid over his and she placed it over her belly. Kristoff’s eyes widened with the silent question.
“We’re going to have a baby,” she said with a giggle.
Kristoff placed a more enthusiastic kiss against her soft lips then. She laughed in response and pulled away, placing a hand on his lips again.
“And just so you know, even if I wasn’t pregnant I’d still keep that promise.” Her eyes softened, the warm blue soothing him and he just knew that she was telling the truth.
“I know, Anna.” He kissed her deeply then.
He pulled her closer so their hips were touching, the heat rising between them. He loved her so much and he showed it through his kiss, hot and passionate. She was here, safe with him. And that was all that mattered.
Their kiss never stopped as he pressed even deeper into her, his groin tightening with desire. His hand weaved into her soft hair, left down in waves. Her soft sighs whispered past his ear as she broke away for air, his hot lips trailing down her neck.
Her breasts heaved with the need to get more air, yet she stayed as close as she could near him. He laved across the skin above her breasts, feeling goosebumps rise. He reached for the bottom of her nightshift and pulled it upwards, seeing all of her ivory skin glistening in the moonlight.
He was desperate for her. Especially today, seeing the moment that had almost taken Anna. He wasn’t sure the memory would leave him alone so soon. But for the moment he had her in his arms and he wanted to bask himself in her and the fact that she was alive and with him.
He rolled them over so that they were lying down. Anna was always passionate. and it showed when she was in bed with him. She spread her legs open for him, eagerly waiting for him and he didn’t disappoint. How could he? Kristoff would always give her what she wanted.
He placed a kiss on her lower stomach, in awe at the thought of a child, their child, growing in there.
Anna’s soft giggle made him smile as he pulled off her knickers, baring her to him. He took a moment to shed his own trousers, though even that was a moment too long away from her.
He marveled at how she desired him, the wetness soaking his fingers as he gently placed them into her. Her arms gripped the pillow near her head, her body arching off of the bed with a moan. Her own body was glistening with sweat now, as her pants became faster, and faster.
And she broke, and he knew she was seeing stars as she melted on the bed.
He gave her a few minutes to recover, placing soft kisses on her smooth thighs and stomach. He crawled up to her, placing a kiss on her lips.
“Are you ready?” he asked her.
“Yes,” she breathed out, her legs wrapping around his waist and pressing them together.
He slipped in without any obstruction and groaned at the hot wetness of her as she wrapped tightly around him. He savored the moment a bit, staying still inside of her until a soft grind of her hips signaled that she wanted him to move. She gripped him as he pulled away, as if she didn’t want him to leave.
He thrust again.
And again and again.
Their moans came out in pants. He held her hand, entwining their fingers together by her head. Kristoff always wanted to be together with her like this. Warm and together as he engulfed her small body with his own.
Her stormy eyes locked with his and her lips parted to breathe. “I love you, Kristoff.”
“I love you too.”
And when she came, it came with her back arching into his, feeling her breasts against his chest. He followed after her, spilling his warm seed into her.
They lay there panting and sweaty, but with fond smiles on their faces. He pulled out of her and lazily wrapped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her close. It was a few minutes of looking at the moonlight dancing across her shoulders that he heard her speak again.
“I realized once I had seen her again that I had to let her go. Let her live her own life.” She paused to place a kiss on his cheek and his eyes widened. “I’m still sad that I didn’t get to have much time with her, but we both grew up faster than I could accept it. Elsa belongs out there, and I belong here to live out my own life.”
Anna placed soft butterfly kisses around his face as he lay content next to her, and even as he gave in to the first vestiges of sleep. He heard a whisper in his ear, and the soft breath that lightly tickled him.
“You’re my future, Kristoff.”
“And I’m yours,” he said quietly. Her smile was the last thing he saw and it soothed his wayward soul.
Kristoff laid a hand on her belly, and he fell asleep with him cradling Anna and their child.
And when little Isolde came into the world a few months later with her reddish blonde hair and brown eyes that were so much like his own, Anna and Kristoff were the happiest they could be with the start of their new family.
And both Kristoff and Anna knew they had found their home.