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If there was one thing that Qui Gon Jinn was sure of, it was that fighting a sith lord on Naboo was the last thing he really felt like doing. Heck, even going to pick up Anakin was a better trip than this one was turning out, and even he disliked the constant anger that bubbled on the surface of Tatooine. Of course, he was a little distracted by the literal power vacuum that is the young boy Anakin, and the fact that he was struggling with explaining why exactly he took it upon himself to free the boy and take him along if he was only allowed one padawan. He could hear Yoda’s complaints now, about how it would be dangerous, how the balance of master and padawan could be destroyed with another thrown into the mix. Maybe he could argue that Obi Wan is ready to become a master, thus allowing Qui Gon to teach Anakin and be the proper father figure the boy deserves.

That is, of course, if he can figure out how to survive an encounter with one angry red sith lord. Which, being a master prodigy and an old padawan of one Count Dooku, Qui Gon is quite certain that he can beat the angry, two blade wielding sith that is currently trying to both stab him and his padawan. 

“Great.” He thinks as he bats away the red saber. “How the heck am I supposed to do this.”

The opportunity, of course, comes when a force field blocks Obi Wan from entering the fight. Now it is just angry red guy and Qui Gon, the man who really doesn’t want to be fighting. It was a simple and easy solution to him, though. Cut off one of the angry boy’s arms, and boom, no more having to fight. This went about as well as he thought it would, which is saying that now there was a very sad red guy kneeling before him grabbing his cauterized wound. 

“You cut off my freaking arm!” Sad red boy stated, which was quite strange because in all of Qui Gon’s experiences and fights he found that normally sith are rather prideful and would grab their saber, the one currently at his feet, and stab him.

Red boy, of course, was not a normal sith then. Instead he began to cry, which was quite a scene to witness because who would have thought a spiky boy, Zabrak, sorry, would have ever expressed such an emotion in front of the very person they were trying to murder. Qui Gon looked past the boy and met the very confused eyes of his padawan, who seemed conflicted in ending the life of the currently crying sith, or- well, comforting him? Does one do that for an enemy? Qui Gon just shrugged and knelt to comfort the crying spiky boy, rubbing his back. 

“Uh, sorry? You were trying to kill us though, so it is justified.” He said, and the boy glared at him and then sighed.

“I- I guess so. Sorry too? I really truly thought it would be easier to kill you both. My master said you would be an easier kill.”

Qui Gon was a little offended, to be honest. Though Yoda always did benefit from people doubting him, so he guessed maybe he had benefited from the spiky boy’s underestimate. Heck, he could have died and who knows what would happen then! Maybe… no, Qui Gon preferred to focus on the now than the what-ifs. And the now saw him secretly ebbing the lightsaber down into the ventilation shaft, where it found its home with one crispy sith arm. 

The real question, of course, was what does one do with a one-armed sith? Especially a one-armed sith sent by another that was probably closer to a father than they should have been. Hm. No, that would totally wreck his Anakin plans™ and would leave his poor student bogged down with the boy he planned on training himself. Unless, unless of course he would still be a father figure to Anakin and Obi Wan would be his master. That could work. Yeah.

Patting the spiky boy on the back, Qui Gon Jinn stood up and dusted himself off before offering his hand to him. “Say, how would you like to be my apprentice instead, oh, and we’ll get you a new arm.”

Both spiky boy, who he remembers now to be some Darth Maul, which will have to change of course, and his padawan looked at him like he had sprouted a second head or had been a changeling all along. Of course, he wasn’t, and of course he was doing what he always enjoyed doing, building a nice and safe habitat for Padawan 2™ in order to both entertain himself and fulfill his desire in being a Father Figure.  Maybe he really should have introduced Obi Wan to Dooku before ever venturing out with him, if only for Dooku to get his young padawan up to speed with how he rolls. 

“I really do mean it, Obi Wan, you know that you will be a master in just a few weeks, and I can always argue about the validity of testing if an adult can indeed go from padawan to master if not introduced young. Plus, I think if Maul’s master got word that he both failed and lost an arm, he would be dead.” Obi Wan looked whiter than usual, and much like he regretted coming on this mission as well. 

That’s fine, only the opinion of one very spiky boy really mattered, and he looked very much into the idea of not dying. Qui Gon tapped his lip in thought before snapping his fingers. “I got it! Tarek! A good Zabrak name for a random apprentice found in Naboo.”

Newly- ordained Tarek seemed pleased by that fact, if only because for the first time in a long time he owned a name, and nodded before rising up with Qui Gon’s help. “That’ll, uh, do I guess?”

  To say that the adventure that was had on Naboo was unproductive would in fact be a mistruth, since that day Anakin destroyed the mothership, Qui Gon got a new padawan, Tarek got a name, and Obi Wan finally got a clue as to how Qui Gon truly works. That is to say, there was quite a bit of paperwork following the trip to Naboo, and no one wanted to fill it out.

One such report was from Qui Gon, who had decided to stay back with Tarek in case he decided to back out of their new agreement, about the new chancellor being way too friendly with poor Anakin, who seemed too overwhelmed to really respond. It stated that saying he had a vested interest in Anakin’s career was very very suspicious and should probably be looked into if something bad were to happen.

This report was very quickly sent into the archives where it waited until a twenty-year old Anakin stumbled upon it with an older Tarek by his side. But that, of course, is for later and much like Qui Gon, this story focuses on the moment. And the main moment is a very angry Yoda with Qui Gon and his three little ducklings in tow.

“Have three apprentices you cannot. Only one allowed per master there is.” He seemed a bit miffed.

“Master Yoda, as I have previously stated, Obi Wan will become a master in a few weeks, you said so yourself. Tarek will become my next padawan while Anakin becomes Obi Wan’s padawan. We’ll train side-by-side so that Obi Wan knows how to properly teach Anakin, and Tarek already has been fitted for a moving prosthetic.” Missions Apprentice 2™ and Become a Father Figure™  were already far underway as they were talking, and honestly all Qui Gon wanted was for them to go and figure out how to reintroduce Jedi ideals on a very sith child. This was not going to be pretty.

“Fine.” Yoda said, and Qui Gon was quite honestly surprised. “Run this by the council I will. Say it has already be done I shall.”

“Thank you, Master Yoda.” Qui Gon Jinn and his hoard of students bowed to the master, who simply huffed and walked away.

As he left Qui Gon lifted his hands to be high-fived by his new children and smiled at Obi Wan, who simply shook his head in exasperation.

Oh yeah, this was gonna be so much fun.