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Reflection

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It was the silence that first told Simon something was wrong. Ever since Izzy had moved in, he swore there hadn’t been a silent moment in their apartment since. Not that he minded. In fact he loved that the moment he stepped in the door Izzy would run up to him with some adventure from her day. For some reason Simons worries would always melt away as soon as he heard her voice. 

 

But that wasn’t what happened tonight, and Simon wished to God it could’ve. He wished he’d never heard her soft sniffles from across the apartment. He wished he’d never run to her, landing by her side in a flash. He wished she’d just told him about her day and he would have never thought to ask… 

 

“Babe whats wrong?”

 

And he wished she hadn’t looked up at him with red rimmed eyes, the brown doe eyes that he fell in love with, and answered.

 

“I- Meliorn was here… I don't know what happened, he was looking for you and one thing led to another… can you ever forgive me?”

 

He really wished, more than anything else, that he could. 

 

They got in a huge fight after that. There were tears, and apologies, and headaches, and heartaches. She begged him. He said he could never trust her again. 

 

The night ended with one final request.

 

Izzy stood by the door, tears trailed her face, as she looked up at Simon with remorse. 

 

“Just… don’t tell my brothers. I’ll tell them, I won’t let them think this was your fault. I just can’t imagine coming up to them one day, and seeing that disappointment in their eyes, and not being able to own up to my mistakes.”

 

Simon sighed, tears clearly visible on his cheeks too. 

 

“Whatever Isabelle. Please just go.”

 

Izzy turned on her heel, shouldering her bag, holding enough of her possessions to get by for a few days. Simon's eyes trailed her as she walked down the hall, a twisted part of his heart wished she would turn back. She didn’t. 

 

“Goodbye.” He whispered, more to himself than to her. 

Chapter Text

Simon had called Clary. He thought it might be awkward at first, and almost considered texting her and telling her not to come, but as soon as he saw her at the door, he broke. She pulled him into a hug as he sobbed. Somewhere along the line they settled on the couch. Simon slowly went through the events of the evenings.

“She was pulling away from me anyway…” He sighed after a while. “I- I- I don’t know what I did… I think the immortal thing, it was freaking her out. I just wished she had talked to me instead of jumping the bones of the next guy she saw.”

A wave of anger crashed over him and he grabbed the nearest thing to him, which happened to be his phone and chucked it.

“Goddammit!” He yelled as the phone hit the wall with a loud crunch.

He felt Clary flinch next to him, and muttered a quick ‘sorry’.

“I’m here for you Simon. Always, okay?” She leaned her head against his shoulder. “I’ll beat her ass if you want.”

Simon let out a watery laugh, “I love you Fray, but there’s no way you could beat Iz- her…”

“We may not be dating anymore but I can still make Jace help me, okay?”

Simon’s grimace quickly returned.

“What is it?” Clary questioned.

“You can’t tell Jace, or Alec for that matter.”

“What why the hell not?” Clary let out an exasperated sigh.

“I don’t know it was her idea… she just didn’t want them to find out before she had a chance to tell them. Something about wanting to own up to her own mistakes.”

“And… you’re okay with that?”

“It’s not like the Lightwood brothers ever really liked me anyway.”

Clary didn't have a response to that one, because it was essentially true. Sure, Jace had warmed up to Simon, but hardly spoke a word to him outside of sparring, and Alec was even worse. He’d made an effort to tolerate Simon when he started dating Izzy, but it’d taken them a long time to even build up to acquaintances.

“Fine… I guess I’ll have to beat her ass on my own then.”

“Good luck”

Clary looked up at him, a retort already forming on her lips. But she stopped when she saw his face.

“Thanks… I think I’ll grab a beer. Got any plasma in there?”

Simon smiled up at her, a silent thank you in his gaze. She nodded at him, you’re welcome.

Chapter Text

 

A week after that fateful day, thats what Simon had dubbed it, (Clary said it was stupid, but he insisted, saying it made it sounded cooler than “The day my girlfriend cheated on me and my heart got crushed” and she couldn’t really reject it anymore.) Simon was doing okay. That was until a certain guest ruined everything.

 

He was tuning his guitar, apparently heartbreak is good for songwriting, when a knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. He opened his door to see the one and only, Jace Harondale. 

 

He flashed Simon an award winning grin and Simon groaned internally. 

 

“Say, would you two have an extra room I can crash in?” 

 

So Izzy hasn’t told him, Simon reasoned, that’s just fantastic. 

 

“Sure…” Simon told him without a thought. He forced him a smile back, internally damning his mother for raising him with such good manners. “Can't you just crash with Clary though?”

 

Jace’s smile faltered slightly, “Nah man… the whole break up thing is still pretty fresh. In fact, can we maybe avoid the topic of Clary for a little while.”

 

That’s going to be pretty hard with her coming over everyday, Simon thought. Clary was basically Simon’s whole support system at the moment. But still, he understood. When Clary had gotten her memories back, Jace was so sure her love would return too, but it just didn’t. Simon remembered watching from the sidelines, as she beamed when Magnus started calling her biscuit again, as her and Izzy finally became parabatai, even as her and Alec fell into the familiar routine of bickering over every little thing. And he saw how much it hurt Jace that as everything was going back to normal, she still couldn’t find her feelings for him. 

 

“Yeah that’s fine..” He smiled as a pang of sympathy came his way. 



“So. Where’d you hide my sister?” Jace asked, plopping his duffel bag by the end of the hall, and hopping over the back of the couch. 

 

Suddenly the sympathy was replaced by hurt, and Simon swallowed thickly. 

 

“Uh… gone, actually. She went on a trip. Didn’t say when she’ll be coming back.”

 

“Damn, that’s not a good sign. Bet you’ll be out on your ass by Friday.” He chuckled, glancing at Simon. “Oh c’mon, I was joking. Looking like a sad puppy really ruins the effect.”

 

“Gee sorry.” Simon grit his teeth, God he really can’t stand that jackass sometimes. 

 

He wandered to the kitchen in search of a spare apartment key. After for some reason finding it in the silverware drawer, he flung it at Jace who caught it of course, stupid shadowhunter reflexes. 

 

“Don’t lose it, it’s our…” my, he corrected himself mentally, “only spare.”

 

“Sure thing dude,” Jace muttered halfheartedly, flicking on the TV.

 

“I knew I shouldn't have got out of bed this morning,” Simon moaned to himself, wandering back to his room.

 

He collapsed on his bed, shuffling to the far side. He didn’t have any reason to do that anymore, but it felt wrong not to. 

 

The vampire curled into a ball, “I’m going to be fine,” He lied to himself. 

Chapter Text

 

Jace jeered at Alec, after dodging another one of his hits.

 

“You’re losing your touch,” He panted, swinging his sword at Alec’s legs, who quickly leaped over it.

 

“Maybe I’d be able to concentrate better if you weren’t being such a dick.” He growled, matching all of Jace’s attacks.

 

“Oh c’mon, tracing the line between arrogance and confidence is part of my charm, you know that.” Jace grinned as he managed to disarm the other. He threw away his sword too, holding up his fists for hand-to-hand combat. 

 

“Well it’s starting to get on my nerves.” Alec ducked, narrowly avoiding his brother.

 

“Or maybe you’re just pissy because Mangus is out on the field today.” Jace spat with a new sense of venom. 

 

His eyes widened as Alec suddenly barreled him to the ground, knocking the wind out of him. Wheezing, he swiftly tapped out. 

 

“What the hell?” Alec glared, begrudgingly lending Jace a hand to get up.

 

“Sorry, I... don’t know where that came from.” He admitted, breaking away from Alec.

He ran his hands through his hair, considering what to say next for a moment, “I… can’t even live here anymore man.” He sighed, rubbing his eyes momentarily. 

 

“What do you mean?” Alec furrowed his brow, picking up their disregarded weapons and putting them away. 

 

“I’m crashing at Izzy’s place. I can’t live here and see her every morning and every night. It’s fucking breaking me.” 

 

“Clary?” Alec questioned, already knowing the answer. 

 

“No David Bowie,” Jace responded sarcastically. 

 

“David… Bowie?”

 

“Oh God I’ve been hanging out with Simon for too long.” Jace buries his head in his hands, “You know since him and Izzy have been living together.” He jumped to explain a little too quickly. 

Alec chuckled, “Ah my sympathies.” 

 

Jace forced out a laugh, but for some reason it felt wrong… oh don’t go all soft , he chastised himself. 

 

“You’re right I’ve been a dick lately, let me take you out tomorrow night, guys night out. Sound good?”

 

“Fine, but you’re paying.” Alec grumbled, “And don’t ditch me for some girls!”

 

“How dare you, when have I ever--”

 

“Oh please, do you want me to start listing dates?”

 

Jace snickered, shoving his parabatai playfully, “I’ll try my best to repel the ladies, as hard as that’s going to be, but we’ll split the check. Deal?”

 

Alec rolled his eyes, walking away. 

 

“Is that a deal or not? C’mon! Bro!” Jace grinned, calling after his brother. 

 

Jace turned around, shaking his head with a smile still on his lips. It was nice to know that no matter what he would have people to support him.

Chapter Text

Simon wasn’t having the best luck today. He’d started to pack up Izzy’s things and shove them into her walk-in closet because he noticed a pattern of breaking down in tears whenever he saw one of her possessions. Today he’d cried after seeing her shampoo, a doodle she made on the back of a magazine, and one of her boots which was lodged under their, no his, bed. Simon swears he’s going to break some sort of crying record soon. 

 

So now he was laid out on his bed, tear tracks lining his face that refused to disappear no matter how hard he rubbed at them. The weather outside matched his current mood, raindrops splattered his windows and softed the sounds of his sobs. 

 

He’d never felt this heartbroken before, after Clary he’d cried a couple of times, but in a way he knew what was coming, with Maia it was an amicable breakup… but Izzy… she was different. 

He thought he’d spend the rest of his life with her. Raise kids, grow old together, even if he still looked 19. He had even started planning out his proposal… another sob bubbled up in his chest. 

 

He buried his head in his pillow, blocking out the sounds of the world, from the soft pitter-patter of rain to the creak of the door as it was opened. It wasn’t often that someone could sneak up on him these days, but when Jace appeared at the door of his bedroom, he wasn’t expecting it. Perhaps because his distress had sapped at his vamp hearing somehow, or maybe because he’d completely forgotten about the shadowhunter becoming his impromptu roomie the other day. Whatever the reason was Simon was caught off guard and he quickly tried to rub away his tears with no avail. 

 

“I’m going out with Alec later I was wonder-” Jace’s sentence came to a screeching halt as he looked up at Simon… “What’s wrong?” 

 

Jace was suddenly next to Simon, kneeling down and looking into his eyes with sympathy as if on instinct. Simon hadn’t expected the sudden gaze, and he quickly looked away, trying to swallow the lump in his throat. 

 

“Hey.” Jace whispered, “Hey, Simon, look at me.” 

 

And for whatever reason Simon obeyed, staring into Jace’s eyes. He felt as if his world was balanced on the edge of a ledge, and Jace had the power to push him over or pull him back. 

 

“What happened? Are you hurt, is someone else hurt? Oh god is Izzy-” Jace’s calm demeanor suddenly shifted as worst case scenarios flew through his head. 

 

“She’s fine.” Simon quickly assured him, “I’m just… sad about something… about someone.”

 

Jace gave him a quizzical look, standing up from his kneeled position in front of Simon, and perching on the edge of his bed instead. 

 

“Someone close to me… died.” Simon lied quickly, though it wasn’t completely untrue. The future he had with Izzy had died, their relationship was forever changed… 

 

“Oh man that… that sucks. I’m really sorry.” Jace told him softly.

 

“She was a close friend… whenever I saw the future she was there. And now she’d just gone… and she’s never coming back, and I don’t know what to do with myself. I loved her and she broke my heart- uh, by dying.” He added quickly. 

 

“I didn’t know you had close friends like that, I mean other than Clary, and Izzy I guess.”

 

“Yeah well, you’ve never really spent any time getting to know me.” Simon sighed, he didn’t intend to offend Jace, it was simply the truth. 

 

Still it felt nice to see an apologetic look in Jace’s eyes.

 

They sat for a minute after that, at some point Simon drew his knees up to his chest. It probably made him look like a pathetic little kid, but he didn’t care. 

 

“You’re right, we’re supposed to be friends,” Jace started, and Simon looked up surprised.

 

We are? He thought. 

 

“So,” Jace continued, “Why don’t you join me and Alec tomorrow tonight, it’s supposed to be a guy’s night out so I guess you technically fit the criteria. Plus it’s to make up for being me a dick, so I’ll kill two birds with one stone if you’re both there.”

 

Simon felt a smile tug at his mouth, and he met Jace’s hopeful gaze. “Sure thing… buddy.” He tacked on sarcastically. 

 

“Nope, nope, I’m vetoing the term ‘buddy’.”

 

“Friendo?” Simon inquired with mock innocence. 

 

“Don’t make me regret this!” Jace groaned, standing up and leaving the room. 

 

“Mi amigo? How ‘bout ‘My G’?!” Simon called after him

 

“And now I’m regretting it.” Jace yelled back. 

 

Simon laughed for the first time properly since the break-up, he felt like a weight had been lifted from his chest. And it was thanks to Jace Harondale, who would’ve thought?