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Teen Idle

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Warning: Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Rape, Homophobic Slurs 

The provisional licence exam was over, and he had passed it!

Nothing could dampen his mood.

Except running out of his ADHD meds. All of his medication by now, infact. He even more hyperactive than usual. He didn't want to have to ask Rio to pick them up. She was the one with prescriptions. He wasn't trusted with them after last time...

Or, his english lesson the next day with his favourite teacher and idol Present Mic.

He was fluent in english as was his twin Rio.

They had a lot of time to learn after being kicked out by their mother who was induced in transphobic rage.

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I wanna be a bottle blonde

She looked at she english worksheet. "F" and at the bottom of the page there was a note "See me after class."

Kaminari Denki was scared.

English was her best subject. She was fluent for gods' sake!

If she failed this 'simple' worksheet, what where her other grades like?

I don't know why but I feel conned

She had been lying to herself by saying she was "Fluent, but I'll check my grammar just incase".

I wanna be an idle teen

Maybe, if she hadn't run out of medication she would've been calm(er), and able to concentrate.

A whisper in her head denied that thought.

'You're just dumb' it said.

It was repeated over and over, driving her insane for the last 10 minutes of class whilst she stared into the void.

I wish I hadn't been so clean

The bell finally rang. She collected her stuff and shoved it into her bag absently. She went to leave through the door, before Mic-Sensei said,

"Kaminari, come here please"

She'd almost forgotten about her horrible grades somehow.

"Is everything alright at home?"

That was not what she expected.

I wanna stay inside all day

He couldn't get out of bed.

His head was killing.

Thoughts were swirling around his head.

Usless

Hopeless

Disappointing

And something his dear mother had called him a few years ago;

Fag

I want the world to go away

They had been happy for months.

Of course all good things come to an end.

Why couldn't they just end their 'happy' life?

Rio.

If they left he'd be devastated.

Denki didn't want that.

Rio deserved the world.

But it was so had not to.

I want blood, guts, and chocolate cake

Chocolate usually helped their head but that wasn't enough.

Just a few cuts, they needed the pain.

People tell you to "Enjoy your teen years, they'll be the best time of your life"

If that's true, I don't want to be an adult.

Being a teen is hell, the adults don't understand.

When she could muster the energy to go to school after a week, Mina one of her more enthusiastic classmates had asked her where she'd been.

Smiling, she said,

"I was ill" 

I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle

Mina didn't push, suprisingly. But she did ask why she was so hyper.

Denki just forced a smile on her face and said that she was exited for hero training now that they (mostly) had their licences.

Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title

'Maybe if I was more likeable, and way smarter, Rio wouldn't be my only friend' he thought, walking to the small cafe he worked at.

"Hey Kaminari!" His coworker, Lorelei, greeted "How are you?"

Instead of being sixteen I'm burning up a bible

Tokoyami had tried to meme! He perched on his desk and loudly proclaimed,

"If the gods are real, they abandoned us long ago as we descended into the dark hell that is now"

And for some reason Denki nodded along with his words.

Kirishima looked at his friend, confused at the difference in his attitude.

This was very out of character for him.

Feeling super, super, super suicidal

He was about to move into the dorms. He still hasn't asked Rio about his medication. It really helped, but he didn't want her to have to stop doing things she enjoyed because of him.

Turns out he didn't need to. Rio ready had him covered.

The wasted years, the wasted youth

The next day, she said to her,

"Because you're moving into the dorms, I've grabbed your next prescriptions." What did she not do, to go through the trouble of getting Denki her meds?

"But." There had to be a but " I'm giving them to your homeroom teacher."

The pretty lies, the ugly truth

"It's not that I don't trust you"

'That's a lie' The voice said.

'No one should trust you'

And the day has come where I have died
Only to find, I've come alive

That night, he went to bed feeling like crap.

And then woke up feeling overjoyed.

They where actually happy and they loved it.

I wanna be a virgin pure

The first night in the dorms was hell. They didn't like being away from their brother. They weren't used to it. It took forever to get to sleep and when it finally happened, it wasn't a dream, but a flashback to the week after their mother kicked them out.

A twenty-first century whore

"You whore!"

"Fag!"

Their father found them.

He threatened Rio.

Said that if 'she'  didn't  grow up and  didn't  stop  fantasizing  he'd have to beat some sense into 'her'.

I want back my virginity

Denki tried to protect their brother but it ended with blood.

And rape.

So I can feel infinity

They moved to a different part of Japan with money from odd jobs as soon as possible. It was a tiny one room apartment, but they didn't mind. Enrolled in a school. They both got scholarships. They were happy.

Untill Rio was almost assaulted in the same was his younger twin was.

I wanna drink until I ache

Denki tried everything to forget the incident with her father.

Even drugs.

They only helped a bit though, and were hard to get a hold of.

I wanna make a big mistake

He found he had an obsession with knives. When Rio was out with his classmates. He went to the bathroom with one.

He slit his wrists whenever his brother wasn't there.

I want blood, guts, and angel cake

Rio had gone shopping for some food.

The blood was satisfying to watch run down her arms.

She took too long.

Rio caught her.

I'm gonna puke it anyway

He had cleaned and disinfected her arms, repeating that he wasn't angry or annoyed. He just wanted to know why she had done it, and what he could do to help her feel better.

Rio ate dinner by himself. Denki couldn't stomach food, she felt to ashamed.

Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle

"Denki! Concentrate!"

"I am Sensei" They whispered quietly.

Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title

Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible

Feeling super, super, super suicidal

The wasted years, the wasted youth

The pretty lies, the ugly truth

And the day has come where I have died

Only to find, I've come alive

Come alive, I've come alive

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh, oh oh

I wish I wasn't such a narcissist

'Do I look okay?!'

I wish I didn't really kiss
The mirror when I'm on my own

She needed love.

She needed love.

Oh God, I'm gonna die alone

Nobody loved her.

Nobody ever could.

Nobody ever would.

Adolescence didn't make sense

Growing up is supposed to be fun.

A little loss of innocence

People tell you to "Enjoy your years as a teen, there's worse to come."

The ugliness of being a fool

If that's true I never want to get older.

Ain't youth meant to be beautiful?

Being a teenager is hell, but adults don't understand.

They say,

"Cheer up!"

"It's not that bad"

It is.

Yeah, I wish I'd been, I wish I'd been, a teen, teen idle

Wish I'd been a prom queen, fighting for the title

Instead of being sixteen and burning up a bible

Feeling super, super, super suicidal

The wasted years, the wasted youth

The pretty lies, the ugly truth

And the day has come where I have died

Only to find, I've come alive

Only to find, I've come alive

Only to find, I've come alive

All our lives

(Feeling super, super, super)

(Feeling super, super, super)

(Feeling super, super, super)

All our lives


Denki wasn't okay, but no one played enough attention to them.

When they killed themself, it took the heroes 4 days to find their body hanging from the ceiling.