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When did this start...?

Why did I ask?

Have I really forgotten about that day when all of this started?

Have I really forgotten that day when he disowned me from his crew, from being his Nakama when he promised he'll protect me and I'll do the same, giving my loyalty to him?

I know it wasn't his fault. He was only tricked, even though I was mad at him for believing their words. But I can't stay mad at him for long and I forgive him even if he doesn't know the fact.

He left me to survive alone on that forsaken island. I'm not strong enough, so I ran; hopping from one island to another. I ran until I couldn't run anymore, so I fought. And blood stained my hands. I have no qualms about killing. I have to do what I need to so I can survive.

I know it can't possibly happen, but I can't help but hope and long for a place beside him again, to protect him once more and to go on adventures with him. My loyalty hasn't wavered and stayed strong even if it was already a year after he exiled me. He is the only captain I would accept.

The running continues, and I keep my eyes and ears out for any news of him. I can't help but be happy when I see his and his crew's wanted posters and achievements even if I felt a slight tinge of jealousy in my chest as I couldn't sail by his side.

Another half year passed by, and my running stopped. I met a despicable foe. And to my unfortunate fate, I couldn't defeat him neither could I escape him. And so I was captured; held captive. Or so I thought. In a way, I was a captive. But on the other hand and foremost, I was an experiment subject. Only a measly one among the total numbers of 200 subjects. That was quickly changed when I was the only one who survived. Even though it resulted me in losing my sense of sight.

GLASS they called it. Glass Layered Artificial System Syndrome. Like a glass that's being molded, my entire senses become more sensitive. Smell, taste, hearing, and touch, but not my sight, as I cannot see any more as a result of GLASS. I became more sensitive to pain. But it didn't matter because I have great pain endurance that could surpass most people's. They said I became glass-like. My eyes were glassy and my hair shimmered below light they said.

I couldn't hope to join his crew anymore. I didn't want to be a dead weight. I can't see him anymore. I wonder what he looks like now. How his crew looks like. I can't read anymore news about him on the paper. I can't see his bounty poster anymore. I can't see his lazy smirk anymore, nor can I see his rare smile that he would flash once in a while when I made him his favorite food and such.

The world came crashing down on me, but I still sought to live and escape from this hell. I quickly became his favorite when he was told that I was the only experiment that succeeded. He trained me vigorously. I remember how he laughed like a madman when he discovered I have incredible talent for Kenbunshoku Haki. His only command was to kill someone everytime he used me. I rebelled every chance I got, all the while searching for an opportunity to escape.

Apparently he was sick of that and one day when I killed someone on his order, he told me that I had just killed my own captain. I froze at the spot and slowly lifted my hand letting my precious scythe drop down to the blood soaked ground. I imagined my hands stained in my own captain's blood, the captain that I promised my loyalty to. I cried, screaming to the heavens. And at that point, I broke down completely. Life disappeared from my glassy eyes and it was convenient for him as he can control me easily now. I became his indispensable assassin marionette.

It was on that day that the castle was attacked by Mugiwara no Luffy. I wasn't sent out this time and instead was locked in my room. It would've be a nice room if it wasn't for the fact that my ankle is constantly bound by Kairouseki cuffs. I activated my Kenbunshoku Haki all day long, keeping an eye of what's happening. Despite the sound of buildings crumbling and crashing, I didn't budge an inch from my spot; seemingly dead to the world.

There was a sound of the door opening, but I didn't pay attention on who exactly came in. The presence was new but somehow I felt like I knew this presence for a long time. A hand tried to caress my cheek and I immediately flinched, pulling away to a corner. I could faintly hear some voices talking about that, mostly Mansherry and Leo's.

"She's been like this ever since Doflamingo told her she killed her captain."

"Cieland always rebel against him every chance she got before this though..."

Gentle but firm footsteps walked towards me and I curled myself into a ball instinctively. Needless to say, I was surprised when the approaching figure only patted my head softly, tangling their hands in my hair. I was well taken care of by Doflamingo so my appearance was at its best the whole time. But alas, I am still only a bird in his golden cage and even if it's made out of gold, it's still a cage that I cannot escape from. I slowly lifted my head up albeit my body is still tense, ready to run away at the slightest odd action.

It was a weird action indeed, but I didn't sense any malice behind it so I let him. He had removed my blindfold, not that it made any difference as I still couldn't see anything. I tried to stare up at him, or at least where I think he is. Soon enough, his fingers started to prod around the area near my eyes, as if confirming that I was indeed blind. What was this nostalgia again... I know this person. My eyes widened slightly when I realized why this presence seemed familiar to me when he spoke

"I'm sorry Ciel-ya..."

"Ca-captain..?"

His forehead plastered to mine confirmed it. It was my way to check if he had a fever back in the days. My body started trembling and I reached out with shaky hands to him. He took my trembling hands and cupped them gently, as if he was reassuring me that everything was okay now. I squeezed his hands as hard as I could, relishing my memories of him, letting my carefully built dam of tears break down in a while. I sobbed while clutching whatever clothes he was wearing, glad that he wasn't dead, that I hadn't killed him like Doflamingo said. He just stayed still, providing no sense of comfort for me when he stiffened up, not that I could afford to care about that right now. I had cried myself to sleep in his embrace.

The next time I came to, I was lying down on a bed; my mind still dazed. Where am I? I heard some shuffling near me and I directed my attention to it. There was silence for a moment before I heard a scream of “Captain!!!” and a set of thundering footsteps coming near. It sounded like the person was walking on a metal like platform… So I wasn’t in Dressrosa anymore then. I let my mind drift to what I last remember happened. If it was really true… Am I back in the submarine now? Come to think of it, the scream earlier was similar to Bepo’s.

I was shook out of my thought when I heard him call my name. I unknowingly let out a smile. I missed him. He still had that smoky voice that I loved. I wonder how he looks now; dashing no doubt. I want to see his cocky smirks again that scream confidence. Goodness… I missed him so much. And now he’s in front of me; safe and sound unlike what Doflamingo said. Tears of relief welled deep inside and coursed down my cheeks.

Can I still stay beside him despite my weakness? Can I still sail with him and accompany him to the ends of Grand Line and the world? Can I stand beside him proudly? Supporting him until the end of his journey and beyond?

Trains of thoughts were going through my head. But I don’t need to say anything. He knows. He always knows. No words need to be exchanged. He just hugged me awkwardly, stiff like a board; clearly not used to show of affections. Laughter bubbled inside of me and I chuckled, wiping the stray tears on my face. I could feel him letting out a rare smile like he did back in the days when we were alone.

“Welcome back, Ciel-ya”

I grinned and hugged him back. I’ll follow you wherever you go. I’ll be your sword and your shield. I’ll stay by your side. Till death do us apart.

I’m home, Law