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kiss me like you mean it

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Kai leans against the metal frame of the bleachers, letting the cold and dull dig into his shoulder, the slight pain keeping him grounded as he watches the alpha of the Choi pack…his alpha…walk across the lacrosse field alongside the alpha from the Kim pack – a junior boy from some obnoxious public school not too far from there. Kai tugs on his uniform tie, unbuttons the top three buttons of his wrinkled white button-down shirt, and growls low in the far back of his throat, his entire body vibrating with the sound. From across the field, Soobin's body goes rigid and his elfish ears perk up, but he doesn't let the omega's disgust keep him from missing a beat as the boy beside him makes a comment and Soobin laughs his flirty laugh – a laugh that makes Kai seethe, his eyes glowing bright blue in the shadows under the bleachers.


Kai can see the wolf beneath Soobin's skin – lithe, muscular, preening beneath whatever flattery this other alpha is feeding him. Kai's wolf reaches out for his alpha, trying hard to listen to their conversation, but he's too unfocused, his thoughts too muddled. He can't concentrate on anything other than his wolf in his head growling murderously at this other alpha, who dares to come into his territory and trifle with his boyfriend.


The farther they get from where Kai stands - crouching low and keeping watch – the more the urge to spring out of hiding and rip this alpha to confetti fills his body, from the wolf snarling in his mind to break loose down to the soles of his feet, itching to run. But suddenly, in his mind, he feels a touch – Soobin's wolf reaching out to soothe him, to nuzzle against him, to cool the heat of jealousy threatening to expose him. Kai is a fairly new werewolf, and self-control is not one of his strong points, but Soobin was born with his wolf. Kai and his wolf are direct reflections of one another – loners, uptight, full of fire and fury with a dangerously short fuse – and Kai's wolf tends to be difficult for him to control.


But he listens to Soobin – Soobin and his gentle but commanding wolf.


For the year that Kai has been at Choi, Soobin has been helping Kai connect with his animal side. It didn't take a whole year for Kai to fall in love with Soobin.


Before they reach the end of the field, the two alphas turn to face one another. The blond alpha – Jisung might be his name – blushes when Soobin raises his hand in his and kisses it. Kai's growl grows louder, nearly shaking the metal bleachers with his rage. He pops the button on his shirt as he starts to tear it apart, feeling too constrained by the thin fabric that covers him.


All he would need to do is change and the confinement of his uniform would no longer be a problem.


Neither would that smug trespasser, who catches wind of Kai's scent, eyes shifting sideways toward the bleachers in his direction, a leering smile spreading wide across his mouth.


Beside him, the frame of the bleachers begins to bend where Kai's hands wrap around the supports.




Kai hears the command clear in his head and he begins to relax, his grip loosening from the metal rails, two benches left suffering, dipping down over his head. He hears a giggle in his mind, and regardless of his lingering need to shred Jisung to pieces, he finds himself smiling.


His intense brooding anger would be more effective if he wasn't grinning like the lovesick teenager he actually was.


Soobin turns from the alpha, waving lightly and calling another good-bye over his shoulder, and Kai lets his smile drop. He wants Soobin to see every inch of his displeasure, to feel it rise off his skin like steam. Soobin catches the fading light in Kai's pupils as he emerges from the grey shadows, but it's his state of partially dressed that captures Soobin's attention.


"I have to say," Soobin says as he approaches, "that I like this disheveled look on you."


Kai sniffs the air, his face curdling with the smell that hits his nose.


"You smell foul," Kai snarls as Soobin comes closer.


"Well, hello to you, too, Ningning," Soobin replies, nonplussed by his omega's simmering pique.


Kai breathes in deeper, his lip curling at the stink surrounding his alpha.


"You have his scent all over you."


"You're one to talk," Soobin says, pushing his way into Kai's arms and folding himself in Kai's embrace. "What happened to you? Cuddle pile in the junior commons?"


Watching Soobin with the other alpha, Kai nearly forgot that Taehyun and Beomgyu had tackled him in the hallway. Of the entire Choi pack, which consisted of mainly members of the school's band, TXT, Taehyun and Beomgyu are by far the clingiest after him. They needed constant attention, and just like toddlers, it didn't matter if it was positive attention or negative attention. But thankfully Kai loves the attention so he doesn’t mind them that much.


"You know what Taehyun and Beomgyu are like," Kai says in a tight, whiny voice, but sighing as Soobin runs his nose down his neck, crawling his hands up the back of Kai's shirt to caress his bare skin. "They have no respect for boundaries, just like your little friend."


"Kai," Soobin sighs, deflating against Kai's chest. "We've talked about this."


Kai locks his jaw tight, keeping the petulant growls of his wolf at bay, silencing them before they're voiced.


"Do you have to flirt with him like that?"


Soobin hears the stiff sound of hurt in Kai's voice and shakes his head.


"Flirt with him?" Soobin asks with a laugh. "I'm not flirting. I'm being cordial. Our territories overlap. I have to make sure that things between us and them stay copacetic."


Kai nods once, not all too convinced, staring down the alpha now climbing in his truck, preparing to return to his own school.


"Does he know that?"


"I'm sure he does," Soobin says, rolling his eyes even though Kai can't see.


"Well, did you tell him?" The truck rolls out of the parking lot, but not before the insufferable alpha turns his head to glare at Kai.


"I'm sorry, but the subject of us fucking hasn't exactly come up yet," Soobin teases, pulling back to look into Kai's face when Kai's wolf bristles. "Come on, Kai. You can't assume that everyone I talk to is going to steal me away from you. Don't you have any faith in me?"


"Yeah, in you," Kai says, holding Soobin tighter. "It's him I don't trust."


Kai watches the truck leave the parking lot, memorizing its every detail – make, model, license plate number, down to the tread on the tires and the infinitesimal scratches on the rear bumper. Kai hasn't mastered shielding his thoughts and emotions, and Soobin sees it all, as does the rest of the pack, and soon Soobin's head is filled with worried howls, feeling the omega's distress, wondering if they should gear up for a fight.


"Kai," Soobin scolds gently, his wolf calming the other members of the pack and putting their minds at ease, "you have to control your feelings. At this rate, you're going to start a war."


Kai huffs, stepping back to pull away from his alpha, but Soobin doesn't let him go, and Kai's wolf needs Soobin. His wolf has no intention of leaving the warmth of Soobin's body, or the presence of his wolf nuzzling against him in Kai's head.


"Look," Soobin says, smoothing down the lapels on Kai's blazer, fingers grazing lightly over the skin on Kai's chest, "his pack invited ours out to a wolf-friendly club they hang at in Gangnam. You down to go?"


Kai shrugs.


"Why are you asking?" Kai scoffs. "You tell us to go, and we go."


Soobin looks at Kai, his face turned hard and cold, the way he does when he has emotions he doesn't know how to manage. Soobin feels for Kai. Kai was changed in reform school, forced to become a werewolf against his will by a pack of kids who used their wolves to control other students. But Kai was strong. He resisted. He became an omega to keep from having his life stolen from him – even though, in many ways, it already had been. The moment he stepped through the doors at his doorstep, Soobin's wolf longed to help him – to have him, really. But he is still too wild, too impetuous.


Soobin loves his little omega, but Kai needs a little fine-tuning if he's ever going to help Soobin lead the pack.


With a calming touch, Soobin's wolf makes headway with Kai's wolf, lulling him to a sense of calm, but the man that Kai is standing stoic and unmoved, eyes focused on a point in the distant that may or may not exist.


Soobin doesn't touch his mind to find out.


"Right," Soobin says. "Well, then, we'll meet up after dinner. Eight o'clock to give you a chance to finish your calculus homework."


"My homework's done," Kai says in a clipped tone.


"Sure it is," Soobin says with a smile, backing out of Kai's arms. Truthfully, he could stand in the lacrosse field with Kai all afternoon long, holding him in his arms and letting Kai's scent seep into his skin. But he has a pack to check in on, and a final to study for.


His romantic sensibilities will have to take a backseat to the realities of life.


"You coming?" Soobin asks, tugging on Kai's arm as he walks backward away, his wolf nibbling at Kai's wolf's ear.


Kai doesn't follow right away, enjoying watching his alpha walk, the smooth movement of his long legs as he glides over the grass – agile, soundless, barely bending a single blade.


"You know, two alphas…that won't turn out well," Kai calls after him.


"Then it's a good thing I have no intentions of claiming him," Soobin calls back, spinning on the balls of his feet to walk forward towards the dorms. "I have my eye on a cute omega, if only he'd get his act together."



"Oh, baby," Soobin lets out a deep grunt when Kai licks a stripe up his neck, ending behind his ear. "You can't…you can't just do that."


"You always say that," Kai whispers, doing the same thing again, eliciting an even more desperate moan. He can’t keep still even though his position on Soobin’s lap might have done more harm than good to his Alpha.


"That's because…you know all my weaknesses," Soobin says around a gasp as Kai's fingers trail down Soobin's shoulders to trickle down his abs. "If you keep this up…I won't be able to control myself…"


That's what I'm counting on, Kai thinks, his mouth closing over the juncture of Soobin's neck and his shoulder. Kai wants Soobin. He wants Soobin more than he's ever wanted another living being. He never believed in his life that he would ever want to belong to someone, but he does. He wants Soobin to own him, to claim him.


He wants to be Soobin's mate in a thousand different ways, and lately it's Kai's biggest fear that he'll find someone better – someone more worthy of being his mate.


"Come on, ning," Soobin pants as Kai runs a hand up and down his chest, "they're waiting for us."


"Just a little longer," Kai begs, trying to find some other way to tempt him. "I mean, you're still completely dressed."


"Yeah," Soobin agrees, looping his arms around his omega's waist, "and you're ruining my shirt, by the way." He pauses to laugh, but it turns into a moan when Kai continues to leaves kitten-like bites along his jawline. "But everyone's inside. I can feel it."


"Everyone?" Kai asks. "Or him?"


As if called into existence by Kai's thought of him, Jisung knocks on the window of Soobin's car, staring in where the Alpha has Kai pinned to the backseat.


"Come on, gorgeous," Jisung says, addressing Soobin with only a cursory glance at the omega lying on his back, "the real puppy pile is inside."


Soobin laughs condescendingly and nods at Jisung with a fixed and barely tolerant smile on his face, but Kai doesn't see Soobin's display of veiled displeasure. He drops his hands to his side, digging his nails into the vinyl seat beneath him. Jisung doesn't seem to notice either, or he just doesn't care, because he blows Soobin a kiss and bounds away back to the club.


"You should go inside," Kai says when he hears the other alpha's footsteps die out in the distance. Soobin looks down at Kai, turned away, a frown on his face.


"We," Soobin corrects him. "We should go inside."


"What does it matter if I'm there or not?" Kai says, speaking facing the vinyl seat back. "It doesn't seem like I even exist when he's around."


"Kai," Soobin says, sitting off of Kai's hips to let the other boy up, "now you're just being dramatic."


"Am I?" Kai asks, following Soobin's body and sitting up in the seat.


"Yes," Soobin says quickly. "Absolutely. Why would you even say a thing like that?"


"Because, I…" Kai's sentence cuts off abruptly. He looks at his alpha staring back at him with wide, expectant eyes – deep brown eyes that shift slightly in the moonlight from the concerned eyes of human Soobin to the dark, seductive eyes of Soobin's wolf. Kai wants to fall into those eyes. He'd follow those eyes anywhere.


"Why don't you want me, Soobin?" he asks, his voice sounding ridiculously small to his own ears. "I mean, I'm yours. I've been yours since the moment I joined the pack, and I guess I fooled myself into thinking you were mine, too. But…" Kai smells a familiar, sour stench outside, pervading the enclosed confines of Soobin's car, and he turns to look out the window. Jisung is there, standing outside the club, partially hidden by the crowd waiting to get through the velvet ropes, staring daggers at him. Soobin follows Kai's line of sight and catches Jisung's glance. He blows out a frustrated sigh and maneuvers between Jisung's glare and Kai's.


"Do you know why I haven't claimed you yet?" Soobin asks, putting Kai's arms around his waist.


"Because you don’t like me?" Kai asks, looking away from Soobin's eyes, not wanting the memory of the disappointed look on Soobin's face when Soobin agrees with Kai's assessment.


Sometimes he regrets ever joined the pack. Though, if he hadn't, he wouldn't have had the glorious time he's shared with Soobin, even if that time is about to come to an end, because even now, when he's trying to turn things around and make amends, have a new life with this man that he fell so hard for, he is fucking up everything.


"Because we're not just our wolves," Soobin says, nuzzling his head against his boyfriend's shoulder. "We're people…teenagers, growing up and making our way in the world, trying to find a place. And I know there are expectations, things I'm supposed to do for the pack, but you and me – that's for us." Soobin feels Kai's breath catch, sees the way his eyes focus in on his with that extreme intensity that makes Soobin feel him, as if he's passing through his body with that one look.


Most people look away when Kai stares, but not Soobin. Soobin loves that feeling of Kai moving through him without a single touch.


Soobin takes his hand and places it over Kai's heart, smiling fondly when he feels it race beneath his fingertips.


"I didn't want to rush into it. I wanted it to just…happen. I wanted you to love me for me, outside of all of this…" Soobin gestures vaguely around him, and Kai knows what he means – the boys that they can feel with their minds inside the club, their thoughts all around them as they dance wildly, clustered close together, bodies writhing, nipping at ears and necks, marking each other. "I just need to know that you want to be with me because you love me and you need me, and not just as an alpha. Not just as a part of the pack. You need me."


"Why would you even doubt that?" Kai asks, his face crumbling a bit at the insinuation. "All you need to do is touch my mind to be certain."


"That desire would be hidden deep in your psyche. I don't want to invade your privacy. Not like that." Soobin rubs the tip of his nose lightly over Kai's, brushing dry lips against his mouth. "I want you to tell me with words, and show me with your actions that you want to be with me. That we can stand side-by-side as mates because we love each other, not out of duty or responsibility. Can you do that?"


Kai swallows hard and nods. His eyes – bright blue, shining like ocean glass – go softer than Soobin has ever seen.


"Yeah," Kai says, ducking his head, hiding his glowing eyes and the slight color on his cheeks. "Yeah, I can do that." Soobin leans down to kiss his omega - not in the urgent way that wolves often do, but with soft strokes of his human lips and tongue. Soobin isn't eager to let Kai go. Kai can feel that in his kiss. He doesn't want to be apart from him. Soobin wants Kai. Soobin's wolf wants Kai's wolf. They're connected. Soobin lets Kai see that part of his mind – the part that fantasizes about taking him, claiming him, marking him as his own. Soobin's scent fills the vehicle and devours Kai, erasing all others.


It makes Kai high to smell Soobin on him.


When Soobin's lips leave his, it's with a possessive growl and a tiny nip at the corner of Kai's mouth.


"So, are we going to go inside?" Kai asks, breathless and hard, with Soobin's growl against his lips and Soobin's heartbeat sounding in his head.


"I think," Soobin says, moving Kai back onto the bench and lying down over the submissive body of his boyfriend, "that the real party is right out here."